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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nmarshall/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/4
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1,125 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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76
76
Review of Free Will  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your January entry as judge for "I'll Give You a Sentence Contest"   by Nikola has a Soul . Thanks for entering!

This is good. I like the set up for the story and the twist of the pregnancy.

I was left with questions though. Did Mandy lie about being pregnant to get him to marry her? I felt there was more to the story. How did she convince Shawn to get her boyfriend the job? Exactly what is/was their relationship?

You write well. I enjoyed the story, I just wanted to know more.

~Nikola


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77
77
Review of Latterday  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

I love your take on the prompt! I love urban fantasy and this fits the bill.

The story flows well. I knew what was going on at all times. The characters are believable and dialogue is spot on.

There are a few misspelled words. Other than that, well done.

~Nikola
78
78
Review of Ode to BMV  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

If you had ever been to my local DMV, you wouldn't be s happy!*Pthb* On the other hand, if this kind of wonderful experience did occur, it would be praiseworthy.

This is fun to read. I left with a smile.

~Nikola
79
79
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

I understood your title well as the story progressed. Nice spin on a great old song and the prompt!*Smile*

This flows nicely. The setting, dialogue and characters add up to make the story come alive (or dead as some of the characters came to be!). You answered all questions for your readers as you tied the package up neatly.

Well done!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
80
80
Review of Badger Fray  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

Badger Fray, eh?

I like the idea of an entire holiday centering around the hole this critter digs! Fun for the whole family!

This flows nicely. Your word choices add to the feel good atmosphere of this poem.

Nicely done!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
81
81
Review of Bad-ger  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

I never really considered turning Badger Day into a fantasy piece! Nice!

This is imaginative. The story flows nicely and the dialogue is believable. The story makes it easy for your readers to understand the events leading up to the origins of the holiday.

Two comments:
He ran scratched his grizzled, bearded chin, when the door suddenly flew open, letting in a burst of frozen air
The first part of this sentence doesn't make sense. Just a change in the wording is needed.

Consider leaving an extra space between paragraphs. It makes it much easier on your readers' eyes.

Well done!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
82
82
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

I have to admit that I had a headache by the time I finished this.

I'm not sure what you were going for. This reads like a poem but is written in story form. The continued rhyming made it hard to read. I really didn't understand the story.

Comments:
If you intend to use rhyme throughout, I'd suggest making this a poem.

Be clear for your readers' sake. If they don't understand what you are trying to convey, you will lose them. No writer wants that.

Leave a space between paragraphs. This will make it easier on your readers' eyes.

Thanks for entering!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
83
83
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

First, be sure to include your word count. Not doing so disqualifies your entry. *Frown*

This is a fun comedy of errors. I love the intentional payback of the cat on the veterinarian.

This flowed nicely and was entertaining to read!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
84
84
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

I like the contrast between the wiser, older cat and the young, misbehaving kitten.

You need quotation marks for dialogue in order for your readers to keep the conversation separate from the action. it will give this better clarity.

I love the line:
Okay fine but remember silly fluff is better than grumpy fluff.

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
85
85
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

I think you would have a good story here with a little work. I'm not completely clear on who Dogpack is until the end of the story and even then am not sure.

More detail into Dogpack and her story added to the relation with the kitten would enhance this story and make it a heartfelt piece, I feel.

Good luck!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
86
86
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

Whew! This kitten took its owner for quite a ride!

You packed a lot of words into this piece. It needed punctuation to give pauses for your readers to keep pace. Also it was very wordy. Read your work aloud to see where natural pauses are needed and what words work and do not work. In poetry, often less is more. Choose words that give the greatest impact.

Just a little polishing is all it needs. *Smile*

~Nikola


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87
87
Review of Naughty Spot  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

This kitten in a whirling dervish! I could envision people and furball swirling about the room in a dance that the kitten was bound to win.

It did read a bit choppy in a few places but the overall feel was fun. *Smile*

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
88
88
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

This got to me. Poor kitty! I love animals and hate to see them harmed.

This is well written. You captured the actions and reactions of a cat perfectly. You must have cats.

The story flows, the plot is great and the characters are believable.

Nicely done!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
89
89
Review of Bad Kitty  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

This is a different take on the prompt!

I like that you wrote this from the cat's point of view.

One thing that I did feel was out of kilter: throughout most of the story, the cat understands perfectly what is being said yet when the woman is scolding her, she says she doesn't always get it. The things the cat does understand in this story are pretty sophisticated.

This flows well and is well written.

~Nikola


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90
90
Review of Recliner  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

Yep, it is difficult to find the willpower to go sweat when a comfy bed is handy.

This flows well and makes your point in a mere 25 lines. I like the word choices. I could feel my comfy bed beckon.

The last line reminds me of one of my Dad's favorite sayings, "Let's don't and say we did."*Smile*

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
91
91
Review of The Goat  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

I like the mix of story and poem. An overstuffed belly and spicy food can make for some odd dreams. I like how you illustrated this here.

My one comment is that I would have like more of a closure where the poem is concerned. What happened? Did the narrator awake or was there more to the story?

Otherwise and entertaining read!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
92
92
Review of But for a Goat  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

What a fun poem! Goats can be quite clever when they want something badly enough. And, I've been butted more than once. That hurts!

It's interesting that this critter wanted the meat of the meal and none of the plant food offered. Guess he wanted to try a new cuisine!

This is fun and flows nicely. Enjoyable read!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
93
93
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (2.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

While the subject of your story is action, the story itself is very difficult to read.

Each sentence should begin with capitalization. Make sure there is punctuation at the end of each sentence. Watch for spelling.

This reads like a very rough first draft. With some work (all writers go through many rewrites), this could be a good piece. Keep writing!*Smile*

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
94
94
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

Now {i]I have the creeps!*Laugh*

There is nothing like a cryptic phone call to set one on edge.

I like how you never elaborate further on the message. This leaves your readers' imaginations open to their own terrifying interpretations.

It did read rough in a few spots. Otherwise, nice!

~Nikola


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95
95
Review of Delusions  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

This is very disturbing--in a good way. Your story flows well and the dialogue is believable.

I like how you add the detail of the journal. I think that makes the entire story pop. While I expected something to happen to the dad in the end, I didn't quite see that coming.

Nicely done!

~Nikola


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96
96
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

I don't think one can get much farther from home than this! I can't imagine being so isolated, especially for important events.

I didn't feel emotion with this poem. Perhaps I'm picking up on a scientific mind.

I appreciate the footnote. I love learning new things!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
97
97
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

When I read this story, I felt emotion of loss and a sense of pride for my country.

I really like this piece. It flows well while telling the story you needed to tell. I found your characters realistic and sympathetic.

One comment:
I paused wrap my pathetic scarf tighter around my neck to try to keep warmer when a hand touched my shoulder.
The first part of this sentence reads rough.

Nice work!

~Nikola


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98
98
Review of Christmas Lights  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as the judge for "I'll Give You a Sentence Contest"   by Nikola has a Soul . Thanks for entering!

There is a lot more to this story I think! I like the way in which you set it up. Your description is good and the flow is nice.

I would have liked to know more. I have so many questions! What was her real mindset? Was Jenkins alive?
I take it more was taking place on Earth. Ground control would not have been left unmanned and I'm pretty sure the glow of China had nothing to do with Santa.

You do capture the beauty, and loneliness of being in space. ( I can only imagine not having been to space myself.)

Nice!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
99
99
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as the judge of "I'll Give You a Sentence Contest"   by Nikola has a Soul . Thanks for entering!

I like this story. It paints the picture of someone willing not only to take his present in his own hands but to shape his future as well. I like that the young man's goal is to help others.

Some comments:

The prompt is meant as a stand alone sentence--not something to add to.

There are several places in the story where words such as "a", "of," etc. need to be. Read your work aloud to catch these kinds of things.

I enjoyed your entry!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
100
100
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

What a beautiful Christmas surprise! Sometimes all we need is to know that someone cares in order to live life again.

There are some spots that are choppy. Some words are misspelled and a lot of repetition. Minor things that a rewrite can cure.

Merry Christmas!

~Nikola


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