Happy Account Anniversary Redtowrite ,
I stumbled into your poetry once again and felt a strong compulsion to acknowledge this poem. I’m also noting this is your 18th year at WDC, so I offer a review in acknowledgment.
I've immersed myself in your heartfelt poem, "God Loans us Children," (nice title, BTW) and found a tender exploration of the joys, wonders, and blessings that accompany us on that journey of parenthood. Since discovering in the WDC public listing pages, I thought I’d respond to how your effort effects various elements in your offered writing, including its style, theme, form, poetic devices, and other noteworthy aspects.
The style of the poem I have characterized from its warm and affectionate tone, reflecting the sentiments of love and appreciation for the beauty inherent in life and the gift of a child. The repeated refrain, "Come away sweet love," creates a sense of intimacy and invites the reader to join the speaker in embracing the moments of joy and wonder. The language is lyrical, and the use of vivid imagery enhances the emotional resonance of the poem.
The overarching theme revolves around the profound blessings of life, love, and parenthood. The poem celebrates the beauty of nature, the delights found in everyday experiences, and the extraordinary gift of a child. It unfolds like a gentle hymn, expressing gratitude for the treasures bestowed upon the speaker by the divine, especially in the form of their child, James. The theme resonates with universal emotions, making the poem relatable to readers who have experienced or witnessed the transformative power of parenthood.
The form of the poem is marked by short stanzas and a consistent refrain, contributing to its rhythmic and melodic quality. The repetitive structure adds a musicality that echoes the enduring nature of love and the cyclical rhythms of life. The use of enjambment, such as in "No rush, honor beauty," creates a fluidity that mirrors the flowing nature of life's moments, each leading seamlessly into the next.
Poetic devices, including metaphors and personification, infuse the poem with vivid imagery and emotional depth. The morning breaking as "golden morning breaks" personifies the dawn, imbuing it with a sense of preciousness and warmth. The description of James as a "new oak with deep roots" is a powerful metaphor that conveys strength, resilience, and the promise of growth. The child is portrayed as a seedling with the potential to become a magnificent tree.
Suggestion for improvement:
One area could involve exploring additional metaphors or symbolic elements to further enrich the imagery. Consider incorporating specific details or scenes that evoke the joys and challenges of parenthood, providing readers with a more immersive experience. For instance, you could delve into specific interactions with James that highlight the uniqueness of his personality and the depth of the parent-child bond.
Consider experimenting with variations in line length or structure to emphasize key moments or emotions within the poem. Adjusting the pacing through strategic line breaks can enhance the overall rhythm and impact of the poem, guiding readers through the emotional landscape you've crafted.
Overall, this poem is a beautiful and heartfelt ode to the blessings of life, love, and parenthood. The way you use lyrical style, evocative imagery, and universal themes makes it a resonant piece. And, as a parent myself, see how you are capturing the essence of familial joy and pride felt with that profound impact a child's presence has on our lives.
Great to read and review you. Enjoy that 18th anniversary here, coming up!
Sincerely,
Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer
|