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3,706 reviews? Feels like a million words since. Word-ometer needle broke. I get stuck, limited eyesight reminds. I did it for others, to improve my critical analysis of our art, but get to know each and their approaches to our shared love, *Heart* ~~ *Quill*}
Style? Read my reviews. Look at other’s output. Responses of my reviews have affirmed.
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In 2024: “Your reviews are great…supportive, encouraging, and ‘in depth’, with excellent suggestions…exactly the kind of reviews I…strive to write. Alas, such reviews are the exception on here. Most are drive-by reviews…just heap praise on the item. A small number are just critical and not supportive...Yours are among the one (in) twenty…that are gems. People should be grateful for getting them.”
I'm good at...
Poetry, shorter stuff. I'm mostly blind. I react and encourage with feedback, suggest direction to something better. I break the conventional fourth wall. Not sure what it means.
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nature, love, psychological, spiritual, inspirational, humor, emotional, drama, human interest, dystopian.
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poetry, short story, essay/opinion/blog
Public Reviews
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for entry "Communication?" Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Dear ruwth Author Icon,

I think you nailed it with this, using two great quotes and noting the key to communication is the ability (or willingness to listen. These references show an adept ability to address the subject/question by laying out a format for how we communicate with one another, noting how sadly we are lacking. There are divisive forces in the world that would employ anything to destroy bonds on earth that could reach Heaven.

I do believe God is listening. He’s sent clear evidence when I asked for help when I didn’t know how I’d pay for college, not wanting my parents to cover my debt. He responded by literally, metaphysically, taking the wheel to my car and forcing it leap a guard rail, down an embankment to roll three times. I climbed out of a steaming, totaled, upside down Oldsmobile. Walked away, uninjured. When insurance settled, I had 25-hundred dollars and a new lease on life.

It’s your writing, offering and communication that help us all remember we can talk, He can listen, and if there’s actual sincere request from a believer, he’ll bolster you, lift up.

Great job and thanks for sharing,

Brian
disAbility Writers Group

Arriving, captured but fleeting. If not in the moment, missed.


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2
2
Review of The pain within  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Happy Account Anniversary jaya Author Icon,

I didn’t give a great deal of thought into poetic structure or device, but note your worthy depictions that invoke elements of riveting story to keep me pensive. This is a powerful, impacting poem to read and consider about a mind portrayed here with such great tumult of emotion, and what is repressed and unspoken within. I can imagine our story begins before a journal with writer in repose with pen writing an ode to melancholy amid belligerence, releasing some grief through the poetic with psychological portrayal and device.

You invoke Shakespeare without the Bard’s craft of written iamb words, to rhythm and rhyme the uneven experience of knowing the meaning of Iago, while only portraying the character in passing note. And, what a heavy burden it appears through the well-crafted verses of one spirally, but going nowhere.

The landing line, “None knows of it but me, “ intrigues with a great hook to tempt a reader to pry. What we can’t know as readers would suggest the external forces that create these words of despair, and the only release to await being death. I have to wonder what we have here. A reader as I is tempted to conceive with three immediate scenarios, each superceding the other. This secret is not divulged, but cryptically lays out in insolvable form. And, this doesn’t feel lived external.

At first, I could assume guilt for being one with the Mercantile smile that would take a pound of flesh for debt. Though, the description seems to land on something not named. It can feel as how life plays a cruel hoax from fairytales to reality with faux exterior of ills that take a toll, all the way to cancerous. But, waiting for death seems to be more of a waiting room area thing than in a bed for death.

There is debt to something, whether vocation or someone who’d be a Shakespearean villain in this drama we cannot cast. Verse three was most appealing in regard to something taking shape. No, there are associations, pacts, binding agreements with life, debts to pay but never made clear. This is worrisome, where I sit across the waiting room way. We are not to know specifics. There is no one cure all for a tormenting thing not invoked by speaking its name.

As a bystander, who has felt the ills of associations, in whatever life, and no clear path to joy and enlightenment, these words would speak to me, if the right moment. I would paint the Sawyer fence if it would give sensation of the feelings pitched by a catfishing conman, whilst knowing his game. We all go our own way. A poem uttering words as if none can know is challenging to a clueless artisan of six-foot-high property boarders. But, some write odes as if bottled letters to plunge to the bottoms of murksome ponds.

I know a woman with ceaseless ills, who gets three hours of sleep many nights, ten hours of sweaty labor by day, who could ache and moan. Not in her DNA. She cheers others on. No, this truly troubles when lacking the stuff to overcome experiences causing a brain to seal up, plaster over, while fences dry, as if nothing is there.

I’ve considered this poem, these types of feelings, knowing no one cure for all. It can feel hopeless for brief moments, like swimming over a bottomless abyss, before it’s crossed. These typified stirrings poem readers will have some relation to, either as bystander or traumatized. It’s undeniably pervasive for those aware. I wonder if writers pen it/this to life, share it, knowing hope is out there? Or, just casting off /redistributing shackles’ weight. Experiences, while different, prompt something in each of us to try…something…different.

This speaks to me. I have empathy in my heart, nothing less. It’s not good to know others suffer, just good to know isolation can lift. I can walk out and experience the sun, steal a moment in the elapsing deconstruction of time wasting. Your poem demonstrates well. It teaches. I’ve met people who’ve related words that I could never know what it’s like, but think, how do you know until you try me?

It’s unto oneself, under lock and key. But, by association, I’ll extend a hand, should it be received. I’d never intentionally harm another. I hate when one of our cats is suffering and me not a whisperer can only make sure each lives a charmed life. Peace to you. Thank you for cracking the door open. I’ll light any light. I never question this logic, never judge, ridicule, assign whatever, with only respect and consideration for the carefully and thoughtfully depicted narrator with depiction in your poem.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC disAbility Writers Group
and Anniversary Reviewer

I’m blind, not disabled.


Neither beacon nor crusader be I for any other, but prose.


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3
3
Review of Double Ow Seven!  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Happy Account Anniversary foxtale Author Icon,

6 *Star*s! with my apologies for what comes next:
I enjoyed this dual form approach with "Double Ow Seven!" Open in new Window. with innuendo and extended plausibilities that had me go as far as pitching movie ideas. My questions first written to consider answer had me a little daft. No coffee for hours…initially trying to come up with feedback for your poem described as, “Layoffs in spy-craft - a Haiku/Senryu.” It ‘intrigued’ as I initially got the two poetry forms intoning ‘double’ in the well-known secret agent ID in title (Bond is no secret to us). With a read to ponder, ‘what else makes this poem function, I get ‘burn’ as with spies who are cut off/locked out, more than just fired. Such is the spy business, as learned from every episode of “Burn Notice” streamed.

I had my wonderment, if budget cuts ever put spies in the unemployment line, and funny notions of sketch comedy arrive, or perhaps, a film premise. You know Adam Sandler gets paid another 20 mil with each story spiel like that, maybe with Jennifer Aniston in some spy craft fare. I also would wonder, could they get new jobs, since they know high-level secrets? Or, do non-disclosure agreements come into play, with a nod to professionalism, trusted to move on to work in the intel game, but with a no-compete clause. I guess the jokes with this one are arriving now.

Assessing the poem: The opening line means cut off from supply. So, no access to M to get the gadgets. Got it. And how this brief statement of a poem turns from the allure of spy craft to the eggheads who optimize government funding to get a special expresso machine in the spy break room. Budgets cuts affecting spies seems a Sandler angle, or moreover, his buddy Kevin James, on a restricted diet. In a world of elaborate intel, crafty skill, and celeb spies, he had to leave behind listening devices and walk away with dignity intact. *Kevin holds cardboard box with potted plant, bow tie, Cuban cigars with trick lighter…* “No, that stays,” says the $90 an hour CPA. *Eye roll*

This offering of yours amuses on many levels, ending with the signature catch phrase intro as the burned spy exits in the summation. Burned. Spies as staffers! (Not on meds yet when I started composing this). My first response to this took time to find insightful introspect before unpacking the layered wordplay and thematic implications of “Double Ow Seven.” A Senryu/haiku that touches on form, theme, and unlimited humor, if you take this vehicle down the roads I ventured.

⸻
So, from there to this: Your double-form haiku/senryu is quite clever, amuses with the idea of duplicity of ‘double’ in terms of espionage, layered humor that structurally and thematically work well. The title alone, Double Ow Seven, got me prepared for a parody, with “Ow” as pain over a job loss that might include blow to a spy ego. You use both physical (no gun, no bullets) and professional (layoffs). You do well to mock the suave mystique of Mr. Bond with a bureaucratic banality.

The phrase “No gun - no bullets” as a cold open is short, clipped, to the point, the spy mission here is aborted. Felt strong visuals, just like “Branded,” taking away military stripes…disgraced as agent, no access to the spy wash room. And, not unlike a suspended cop handing over their gun and badge.

The second line’s “Budgeting and staff layoffs” seems intentionally drab, a comedy by grounding the spy glamour with an HR reality. The final line, “The name’s Bum – James Bum,” delivers the punchline: Bond identity is reduced by farce.

The possibility of burned spies reentering the workforce is something I noted right away. It allows a reader to stretch the poem’s concept into speculative comedy, perhaps fiction or movie already exists. Would ex-spies become baristas with encrypted espresso machines? It had me in stitches before completing pitches and enactments of SNL-style skits or the satirical film.

As for form: I saw wave indentation away from margin like descending trajectory giving a visual cue of the demotion. Each line pushes further into absurdity and collapse, almost like a classified file redacted into irrelevance. I found it subtle, but effective. I do have a preference for “budget cuts” over “budgeting”— feel the former is sharper, more active. “Budgeting” mutes the humor slightly for me.

Overall, this does well with a contrast in elevated poetic terms to reduce a spy with mundane reality, over-powered by a paper pusher, and ironic. This is fun beyond the read, with imagination allowing jokes to gradually land. My surveillance footage of this finally reviewed, the true master of all is the writer. How else would literature and history survive, unless…not a democracy? I’m not going past that.

Funny to realize a short poem to be a thinker. The more dwelt upon, more unfolds/reveals in consideration, as reader reaction might be. The brevity sets it up as a quick joke, but the more one mulls, the deeper satire cuts. It plays with reader expectations: spy stories are about secrets and concealment, and here even the humor is covert, revealed slowly through the dull outcome. The delayed reaction can be part of the experience, as if decoding a message.

I wanted to retort, ‘do you think they saw it coming’? Even without a stirred martini in hand (Aside: two olives, please), it made me feel dry, witty, and in tune with the poem’s theme (Aside: no, the white tux. They’re boorish about the seasons here). It gave my muse a double agent pun itself: “Do you think they saw it coming?” What spy thinks about layoffs, or the poem’s twist, or the reader’s own slow realization. It invited me to pun, chuckle and pause (Aside: is that the gadget? I must go. It was good meeting with you, with your [Aside, aside: what was it? Limerick?]). With your double entendre senryu, haiku. Very wry, indeed (Aside: the plane will be ready? What do you mean ‘taxi’?). Long night ahead.

Sorry, I got lost in my own craft. “Double Ow Seven” sets the quick tone in short form, hinting at both spy tropes and painful consequences. Each line then unfolds with dry wit: ‘No gun – no bullets’, a stripped-down agent, burned, hand over the credentials, not a word to anyone. Hmm. Suppose HR sent out the usual memo, the spineless cads? Film noir?

Anyway, layered wordplay there, burn as betrayal, budget cuts as existential crisis, and the entire spy persona reduced to a punchline — declassified line by line, a sketch comedy in waiting — or a whole series. Maybe, rewatch ‘Burn Notice’ and look for irony. Now I want yogurt. NDAs, *chuckle* Is North Korea hiring? A good spy would see it coming, maybe blackmail the budget department?

Apologies for my indulgence,

Brian
WDC disAbility Writer’s Group
and Account Anniversary Reviewer

He who is and isn’t, & yet…my inner Bond. Brian, to be precise. Not shaken or stirred.

Trying to give up compulsive, overdone reviews. Hard to edit.
Furthermore:

Just wondering again about Bond and the absurd double attribution introduction as deliberate. Maybe, ludicrous as the different actors who’ve taken on the role and recited it, it feels akin to satire.

You’d think the first utterance of the introductory Bond phrase is originally a self-correction. To go on uttering it like a signature line for an actual agent either borders on mind play to the sociopathetic, or with Aspberger’s.

And then, there’s the comedic (if an SNL skit) where the secret agent keeps approaching and introducing with the catch phrase. Then, annoyed characters eye roll, walk away or respond, “yes, we know.” Or to further, “yes. Yes, we know.” He says it like it’s supposed to have a hypnotizing effect or the ‘no doubt you’ve heard about me’ grandiosity.

Off chest


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4
4
Review of Desert Cliffs  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Parkescape Author Icon ~

I came to your poem Desert Cliffs wanting to get a better grasp of what you convey after walking through Fisher Towers in Moab, Utah. I fell in love with the Red Rocks of Sedona, AZ and have written several poems seeking egress through that lone canyon that I compared to love, walking through the heart of another. I study your eight line offering to grasp intent. Let’s see if I can clear up early misgivings, mostly with the last stanza. I seek to discover what I’m missing in plain sight, and what way this might translate better to a reader…if just to get the fullest expression.

Where I begin I’d where I got stuck, confused at “ever ever” , realizing eventually the lack of a comma after another word repeated lower. First stanza was fine for the most part.

I also wanted to grasp whatever folklore/legend with presumed native spirituality or mystery about the depicted location.

I consider your poem because of its immense potential to appease poetry readers. Would there be a way to better envision how this constructs, making use of good imagery and expressive language. You have good information, but need better placement in the poem framework that could require punctuation, unless you like fun with enjambment and peculiar line breaks thst could show this place, as well.

Where Desert Cliffs run into some clarity and rhythm issues, seems especially in theatsecond stanza.

What I grasped here were your vivid natural imagery, “searing soaring red stone walls” and “devil dust hands.” You did well to create an atmosphere. Meanwhile, the tone took on an elevated, reverent tone for me that suited subject: the stark and timeless desert landscape. As for other poetic device, phrases “searing soaring” and “slowly slowly” build a strong auditory and alliterative rhythm, with oral traditions and poetic chants as with Indigenous or mythic verse…possibly influenced.

Where my confusion stalls with “ever ever” lead to syntax problems… “But ever ever year’s dense dunes” is likely meant to continue thought on the next line. Where it broke on line one, I considered accidental redundancy or a missing every. Is was clear the intent when the next repeated line came, knowing a comma between the two would help and not hinder read of your poem. Though, end of line and that construction could benefit from negotiating the wrapped line to find natural breaks, which includes moving a few words around for flow. or “But ever and again, the year’s dense dunes…” might work, but I see what you go for with rhythym of repeated words, especially intoning the other.

Other notes: “year’s dense dunes” as a possessive noun seemed odd as the dunes somehow belonged to the “year.” It may be clearer if restructured, for instance: But year by year, the dense dunes rise…

Sentence construction made it hard to follow cause and effect. Another example: Loft skywards crystals on devil dust hands…I was struck by that but temporarily dazed. This is a rich image, but it’s unclear what is lofting the crystals, like is it wind or time? erosion? The phrase also crams multiple metaphors into one line, causing confusion. Cohesion in metaphoric language can make a read more pleasing. Perhaps, you crammed too much in eight lines and would like to let this breathe better with a longer construction.

—————
Desert Cliffs (this is the annoying reviewer in me, doing something like notes in the columns.)

The searing soaring red stone walls (use of the takes power from searing soaring)
Climb stalwart over bare breast sands (maybe, flip to ‘Stalwart climb to get action nearer, eliminating ‘over’)
Their grandeur claims they never fall (start with ‘Claims’ for theatric, pause effect, follow with ‘their grandeur, leave out ‘they’ in this scenario)
Sentinel guardians of the long sere land (I prefer ‘a’ to ‘the’ to introduce to lend to lyrical, meter)

But ever ever year’s dense dunes (much about ‘ever ever’ and know this is to be emphatic, try other approaches to lead off here?)
Loft skywards crystals on devil dust hands (hmm, ‘skywards lofts’ instead, ‘Devil dust hands’ needs more personification, and as an outlier poetic device introduce could lengthen and add more air and prestige to your poem.)

And slowly slowly melt and ruin (the conjunctive and should not be here, but then, showing progression, showing time, which is important to honor this location and its history. Comma need for slowly, slowly…and a pause with comma shows slowing, too.)

Then mire and meld as desert sands (if ‘Then’ above, could replace here with ‘to’, not my strongest suggestion. But,if lengthened, this could have a different look. Most people I review let older poems stand. I say, write something new. There’s ability for growth, greater expression in a good poem here. Really consider punctuation abd a structure with good line breaks.)

What I sought to gather was a feel for folklore or a spiritual layer to this place. This hints at Native spiritual or mythic themes through “Sentinel guardians” and with your use of elemental forces (dust, stone, crystals, ruin, melding) within the red color scheme that includes text, which I would prefer left to word depiction, making it easier on eyes.

All considered, your poem could be enhanced by referencing spirits, animals, or myths from the Moab, Utah region (like Navajo or Ute traditions). The Fisher Towers are often seen as sacred or mystical in local storytelling. The cyclical decay and rebirth (“mire and meld”) could tie to the Indigenous beliefs, employing a sort of spirituality about the land and its remaining memory and the sacred transformation.

This poem captures striking visuals of Fisher Towers and sensory takeaways with a mystical tone. Maybe, clarifying who or what is doing the action in the second stanza, as in “ever ever” lacking punctuation. Consider breaking long lines into clearer segments or reordering for a stronger cause and effect logic. Sometimes, just reordering the words can give the lines that even, but smooth reading look. You’ve got powerful phrases like “devil dust hands” and “sentinel guardians” that are multi-layered in poetic device. You may just need space to breathe and connect with the spiritual theme. You could even anchor the mystery in a local legend, or lend to narrative voice with the land “speak” from this region. Local venacular can bring flavor. You’ll have more elements at work regarding telling, even inclusion of personification, lending to its own sacred erosion story with a voice.

I was happy to read, learn and consider your poem for feedback.


Brian
WDC disAbility Writers Group
and Account Anniversay Reviewers

I’m blind, not disabled.

Rumor has it font size increased site wide *blink* *blink* Hope sighted folks are enjoying *blind* so, apologies for any errata on my part.
Review tool margins are a blinding, white sea, and characters are grains of sand meticulously guided to shore that I reconstruct into sloppy sand castles.
Good? Yes? *Meh* *Bigsmile* 7k characters? I have two yet in here with more verbiage. *Smirk* *drives bus off road into ocean* *lifepreserver*


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5
5
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary {

Decidedly poignant, capturing nature images in scene for contemplative one camping in the cold. I can viscerally feel this place. The words come across peaceful, mindful, in its appreciation of the outdoors, connections to it. There are hints that an underlying story exists, but not fully fleshed out.

When I get to ‘transient’ and reflect back on tent and first two lines of poem, the speaker is contemplative of something. I reference earlier the vagary of what the narrator is feeling that intertwines with nature. Is it comforting, does it allow reflection, does it intone thoughts or feelings of someone, something, or life in general? Many of these things you point a reader to consider can be intoned through various devices that cloak but give hints/clues to how this scenes with depictions and relation are important, deepening theme or message. At most, it feels sentimental and safe how this poem sets up.

The meaning in transient has many applications, so I was going to say it’s about the speaker, possibly homeless, but on the move. It is a transitional word that can further implore theme/subject to show a life changing while the scenery changes amid travel, times of day, various experiences in nature.

Overall, the prose is pretty, broken up nicely for an easier read, with strong, functioning words, minus flowery language that could entangle the read. The use of personification and making nature and its occupants like friends has a nice intimate tone. There is a great influx of sensory by the end, which can put readers there, in moments described. This is definitely more than shelter by stars in this commune with nature, though last three lines sum up intensely the feeling of the title.

It was a pleasure to read and lend feedback to "Sheltered by the Stars" Open in new Window..

Sincerely,

Brian

WDC disAbility Writers Group
and Account Anniversary reviewer

I’m blind, not disabled.


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6
6
Review of True Love  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Zaring Author Icon ~

I find yet another writer/poet that I haven’t crossed paths with. I’m taking a chance, since your last visit was Valentine’s Day, that you might get this review on your account anniversary. {item:720457 } is a poem of brevity with wit that finds wisdom in expressing true love like serendipity. Plus, advising what to do to find what’s ’true’.

“True love knows no boundaries,
Nor distance, nor time.
It may hang in the balance,
But will never die.”

The first verse had a rhythm, and felt a bit lyrical, stringing a few expressions/idioms together to form the basis of this piece. It read cleanly and clearly, as readers should not find this difficult to comprehend. That which you offer puzzles together as logic. It does not advise what ‘true love’ is. We take it on face value, as with “The Princess Bride.” The poem doesn’t necessarily employ visible language, no imagery. It’s not weaving a tale. From ‘boundaries’ to ‘balance’ and ‘never die’ are integral words that drive the message opening.

The soundest most pertinent logic to me sums up…

“Few people are lucky,
To find love this true.
You have to start looking,
As it won't, come find you.

Sounds like advice from my parents to get my butt off the couch, akin to there are other fish in the sea. Furthermore, there are all kinds of songs that intone the search for love, like the country song that goes, “looking for love in all the wrong places.” The song mentions finding one who has that same struggle, and also feels fortunate to have ‘found the one I’m dreaming of’. “Looking for Love” describes the search, employs eyes, while a listener connects to message,

(Lookin' for love) in too many faces
Searchin' their eyes
Lookin' for traces…
Now that I found a friend and lover
I bless the day I discover
You, oh you, lookin' for love…”

The lyrics shows the connection. Your poem invokes the logic you have to try. I wonder why the poem, if it was true love discovered that inspired it. As an old piece, it could be wistful, nostalgic, taking time to assess, when revisited. This is one of the better poems I found when searching your portfolio for an item that strikes me. This ‘old poem’, could be given new life to describe, tell your true love anecdotally, help readers connect emotionally, should you want a challenge anew. Some don’t want change it. Don’t have to. Create anew. Whenever I rewrite a poem, I add the year to end of title. I got that idea from George Michael, revisiting a popular song ‘Freedom 1990’ that was remarkably better. That way the original stands.

Your poem could be a beacon with sound logic, and if revisited, depictions that show how the writer came to experience before revealing these words. Happy anniversary here at WDC, whenever you log back in.

Brian
WDC disAbility Writer’s Group
and Account Anniversary Reviewer


Image #2336820 over display limit. -?-
I have vision issues. Hope my feedback is readable enough.


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7
7
Review of Candy Corn Haiku  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary BeHereBook Author Icon ~

I love consuming haiku, especially of the candy confection. I noted it’s your anniversary here and skimmed your portfolio before laying eyes on "Candy Corn Haiku" Open in new Window.. It’s been 15 years here and I’m always poking around for good haikus to read. Now, I find it?

Getting right to syllables, and a note about how the Anglo-Saxon, probably Americans, adaptation of the Japanese form to come up with the 5-7-5 syllable structure. So, it’s fun to note the third line and enunciation of orange. I’m as white as any Caucasian, prone to being bland and boring. And, being a bit monotone, orange comes out like a hammered-flat syllable when I speak, as if ADHD creates a hurry. Though, it is technically a two-syllable word (Or-ange). Just for fun: o-ran-ge. Fancy. But, if need of helping last line achieve five syllables, it does. But it doesn’t have to, as traditionally haiku is intended can run short of the 5-7-5, to foremost succinctly achieve coherent message.

That being said, the themes of haiku move on from our spiritual response to nature to get connection with reverence of what allows life and get a takeaway on the last, intoning line. What you do here speaks of Autumn, as with colors and a traditional candy reserved primarily for Halloween, stale by summer. No leaves! Yay!! I like the approach, as I’m informed on multiple levels, giving your haiku layers. It invokes innocence, as well. It’s vibrant with life, maybe nostalgic for a reader that applies subjectivity to these words. It’s striking a lot of chords within the notes you offer.

The set up might not be the strongest but functions. The middle line and ‘crème’ of it all is very expressive just by placement, as a crème would. I’d call it genius. Maybe, this could work with Oreos, too. *Think* mm, now I want a double stuff and a cold glass of milk. So descriptive with a choice ‘tapered’ rather than mailed triangle, even if 3-D, as it’s not. Mellocreme even lands between two words on that line, double-placing it smack-dab center of poem. Very nicely done. Obvious ‘kernels’ as it is the candy corn.

The last line simply and without punctuation to waste time, cleanly closes this out. No need for elegant, vacuous words, but poetry that economizes its language within a strict form, while giving us something like a William Carlos Williams gem. It shows you not only gave thought to what you wrote, but have experienced poems of brevity, know the value in each word that collects a spiritual energy for reader, when each expression fully functional alone and yet intone and vibrate a vision to life.

Very pleased to have read this and be able to lend feedback on your anniversary here.

With respects,

Brian
disability Writer’s Group
and Account Anniversary Reviewer


Image #2337959 over display limit. -?-
Sorry, it grammar or typos error, working quick in this vacuous review tool that vexes me.


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8
8
Review of roses  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary PoeticFox Author Icon,

I love the title line for this poem that I noted after the last line of "roses" Open in new Window. with its blatant satirical absurdity. It gave me some pause mtothink, reminding not all poems have a title line to lend to message. But if there were a way, my option includes this/line as subtitle, in which I usually employ italics. For whatever reason, it frameworks a poem well to have options like this to describe with knowing before a viewer consumes. It helps deliver context.

Short, just three lines, I knew quickly not a haiku. Title even truncates from the traditional, ‘roses are red’ fare, usually reserved for school children or their penning on Mother’s Day, plus former greeting card fare that would now lean in the direction you’ve chosen.

“Roses are red violets are bluethis ones for you…”

The first line starts traditional, then has two words run together, then mails in end line like a beer commercial, “this one’s for you…”
It continues on as if the poet doesn’t care, lacking punctuation, blowing through a sentence break to enjamb a thought at end of line.

“…cupids arrow flew sraight and true if I can't have you
I will hit myself with a shoe”

The absurdity of “I will hit myself with a shoe” is so random, coming out of nowhere to give me a chuckle. ‘If I can’t have you’ is a Bee Gees song covered by Yvonne Elliman (yes, I’m old enough) and that briefly reminded, though likely not contextually intended.

The unpunctuated, lets words roll through stops, employs brevity of the formality; thus, the poem’s undoing actually is refreshing, rather than viewed as bad, but careless or abandoned writing. Its presence gives the feeling of abandonment, of giving up. It is unto itself its own poetry form, just by showing in structure. Whether intended or not, this is effective. If it were hand written, spelling, use of page, type of medium and instrument to write with, would each and all add even more dimension. To cap off the abandonment theme, it could imagine an image of the poem sitting on top a container’s trash heap…or better yet, alone at bottom of bin.

It was a pleasure to read and comment on this odd little poem that I like to think would be recited by a stone-faced, monotone girl in black. Now I’m thinking of a character from the former TV series, Suburgatory.

Good job.

Brian
WDC Disability Writers Group
and Account Anniversity reviewer


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We used to reserve 1 star ratings to see who could write the worstest poem. It could be viewed like that. I don’t.


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9
9
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Cyndee Paulson-Heer Author Icon

I used to have resumes. I could advise others how to write them. This is my wake up call.

Strong points as this reads easily for my otherwise slow word digestion. This encourages and can help, as I need to brush up. Lays out clean, easy on the eye. Brevity isn’t usually my strength.

It’s sad that many require resumes present in different ways, and I had several different approaches once upon a time. The submission of info tends to be a fickle process with many who are seeking writers. Don’t recall if Submittable allows attachments, if publishers accept resumes in that way.

Anyway, I find your item valuable and informative. Easy for one who is legally blind, a great reference to many who just need structure and guidelines, or even to ponder what attributes important and considerable to include as offer.

Thanks for sharing this,

Brian
WDC Disability Writer
and Account Anniversary Reviewer

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10
10
Review of Reboot.  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Rainy Day Sox Author Icon,

I like this "Reboot." Open in new Window. for the contest prompt at "Starting Stories" Open in new Window., with so many directions to take, “I knew it would mean trouble, but I couldn't control myself, and I pushed the button.” This SciFi/Drama described genre with short introduction to proposed story I found compelling enough to lure me into continued reading from a 250+ word start. It has me viewing the described events ongoing through that first person narrative monocle with what I feel comfortable with as a similar consciousness.

Where we pick up story in introduction works great as hook, as story not only is in scramble mode, but also the reader. Prose is a bit rough, but it doesn’t lack in value. I have to wonder, as I’m prone to do (over-analyze) things like what this person actually does (how they came to be in this particular situation…I offer ideas further down), what era or technological advancement for a futuristic or alternate universe, what type of passengers are these, and if so, a commercial flight?

At the center is AI, as it is incorporated, more in its infancy now, intrigued by projected use of it, coupled with assured things not working on time, how they should. And this character, having intestinal fortitude to act, then thinking something should have prepared passengers for all systems blackout. Great insight to how a mind might function under stress, though competently, given little options. And this short piece is wrought with questions about the timing to act; and yet, unassumed potential for hysteria making it worse.

What comes next also sets up with a logical scenario: backup systems, the half hope as it were, if it’s good to relax, or…but more may need resolve. However the pilots were incapacitated seems secondary at the point. I didn’t question it. For something longer, context likely needed to protract however this encountered. Having a contingency plan seems unknown here, making me feel this is not even a steward. Our main character could be a great mystery that could complicate a plot. Me like. I say, prisoner in transport jettisoned from restraint, getting a chance to do something heroic. I see all kinds of bias complicating a scenario like that, passenger hysteria could still involve and complicate solution. Isn’t ignorance wonderful for writers?

I think the fun in these intro-prompted events is how much you can get a reader to consider, even think for oneself how to spiel, come up with the next part of the story. Either, it could be a forum for people bidding for the rights to write the next section of a piece like this, before giving back to original author to keep, or moving it forward more, original author could reject outright and/or let it become available again, PLUS, option it to the original second author to add more. Eventually, it could be a joint writing adventure or another writer’s property. Too complex? Whatever. I have more.

So many times I’ve reviewed something, I’ve wanted to put my own signature on it…thus the long reviews…in hopes development is jump started. And now, let’s tell somebody to fire up the website’s interactives. One of these introductory vehicles (yours especially) are great catalysts, now a secondary prompt, and could launch something further into orbit to see it fly on forever (pun intended). I think these contests with intro to story prompts could give new life to those items and wrestle it back into the hands of the best storytellers. Cubby Author Icon had Chapter 1 and now Prompt Me, plus the similar Hook Of The Book is out there.

Spinning it more, make it an invite only club looking for the best storytellers to advance interactive stories into readable material as the foremost goal, a plan could reveal later to others how to make their own interactives, get writers to participate, make the most of it. It can focus on story and plot principles as structured prompts for experienced writers to craft from, thus honing craft, allowing some to develop and work on their weakest storytelling attributes, having a front row view to these constructs unfolding.

Grandstanding there a bit. As to this write, strong verbs can replace at least two of the three was’s in first three sentences. If a narrative choice, a few cues or hints either through enunciation, perhaps phonetics, or phraseology that lends flavor and distinctness that introduces character. Third person requires the good prose. *Laugh* But, just suggestions. Also noted a ‘to’ on line end in last part that should be ‘too’.

I really feel your imagination is hitting all cylinders on this one. I’m not much for Sci-Fi, but this would have me crossover. Best of luck.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Disability Writer’s Group Reviewer

He who is and isn’t, & yet…my inner Bond. Brian, to be precise. Not shaken or stirred.

Note: I’m not the authority over another’s words, simply a friendly reviewer happy to lend observations, POV takes.
People can ask if I’m off my meds/rocker, if they need clearer info. I’m not offended by honest feelings.
Happy to try, try again. *Smile*
My happiness is your happiness, I’ve oft told the Mrs. *Smile*


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11
11
Review of Mayday  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Dearest Amethyst Angel 💐 Author Icon,

It took some time for me to consume this {item: 2338408} with particular, recent vision issues and headaches resurfacing my head. I apologize for my tardiness in responding to the I Write In 2025 posted entry.

I had my wife read the story in the meantime, getting notes to follow up on. I’m aware of the genre ‘Detective’ for the WDC sponsored contest and you’ve linked it to the other forum, Musicology. I was surprised by that, but if inspired with that title. It’s neither here, nor there.

Liked the dunno feel of the start, a good set up to feel the indifference. Reema is especially annoying, makes for a good character, but as one-dimensional as the protagonist. I wanted to like this. I was really impressed by the previous story you wrote for a WDC contest. This fails by that comparison. It might be rushed, or whatever. I had jotted a few notes on my first read through before issues. I’ll leave at end, should I need to further note.

Overall, detective genre can invoke all thought about period. Setting, era, clothing, style and more can lend a great deal to narrative. Setting and something era related, including location before getting into much action can help this moving forward immensely. Leaning into that night club, also. There is a Chicago vibe, or New York. Best part, tempting readers to choose with a few small details planted in story…like a detective story in detective story. The more you bait readers into picking up these details will bring dimension, more to chew on, making them part of story, or actual detectives. Some guise, but not heavy-handed can really help this story begin to simmer before adding plot.

Chekhov might object to details not lending to story, how it wraps up. This is where a lot of work is needed to make events believable enough to carry through to a more detailed conclusion that could be fraught with that quickly displayed double-edged sword of justice with getting stiffed on compensation. I wondered if the loose ends that revealed mid story would tie up, with adding interest regarding the bank robbery schemes overheard. From the ending, too neatly ties up. Left with wonderment about the reason for detective doing this without actually taking the case, and police ramifications (finding a reason for this story why he doesn’t contact authorities as good dic does, to justify that call to action: police would never go for this lead in that location, PLUS, finding a reason detective felt an obligation, with a tip coming from ‘trusted source’). Yet, he launches with Reema nagging like my cat when she’s tired of dry food. Could be comical…actually, was. Her insecurities have sitcom appeal.

We should get a scene where they meet club owner, or giving waiter purpose of delivering message, making it obvious where they’re placed that let’s him ‘detect’ the scheme. Considering Reema’s noise complaints, blonde’s suspicion, the openness of planning, an open and shut case occurs? No obstacles, stumbles or quirks to sidetrack along way (blonde is Chekhov gun, should have revealed them), which would add to the against odds. Also, her outburst timing and reason for Floozie also out of place without justification, upsetting a more natural process. If he’s a hard luck detective, include in intro, show their dynamic more, including distrust.

Getting stood up on a fee is on him, because he’s too white hat for this generation. But, white hat is now refreshing with the bubblegum approach. The younger, the better. Didn’t devise ages for them, nor physical descriptions beyond habit, style, comments of her beauty. Club owner could be fleshed out more. A voice on the phone is either secondary to plot or introduction…unless his name is Charlie and he has three angels working for him (misogynistic *Smirk*). Just, a lot of stuff if trying to have a winning entry. Though, who knows with judges. It’s so random, at times.

Earlier notes:

Typo? "I'ma call, warn him something's up."

The line about regret if something happens to night club owner seemed out of place for a character being matter of fact. I think it’s something said in the grip of drama for it’s intended effect.

Things like ‘pitted parking lot’ good to not only set scene but pair with info already known to develop scene, type club owner character (cheap), typify more.

In the end, hard luck detective is a way to go. The average Joe knows this life, relatable. If good guy always wins, club owner gets offed anyway…for ironic justice. Maybe, by the waiter, with a few hints that later reveal as ties to the robbery. There are still ramifications for the detective, including testifying, since he reported it. The misnomer for being offed, the club owner snitched. And, why does the sleazy guy care about the shady dealings, unless they cut him out, or something? Motives are what sends a story into motion. The guy is motivated by greed, aside from not wanting to pay the dic to figure it out.

Hope this isn’t too rushed. I’ll glance over again, before send. Despite lacking, there is potential yet for this. I just happen to know a lot of this stuff from the real and fictional POVs. Detectives get it in writing before detecting, or be liable for their actions up to espionage. They’re ready to lawyer up. A good dic has one on retainer.


With great regard,

Brian
WDC Disability Writer’s Group

I’m blind, not disabled.
Image #2336821 over display limit. -?-




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12
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Review of Reflections  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Amethyst Angel 💐 Author Icon,

Billy Joel sung it best, “There’s a new band in town, but I can’t get the sound from a story in a magazine.” If my music recall is correct. I’ve participated in Jeff Author Icon’s Music Anthology in the past and enjoyed sharing my rare flavors of music. Sadly, Imagine Dragons has not come across my YouTube or Spotify channels as a recommendation, based on my proclivities to savor sound.

Your relation in this piece does point to a habit I use to get into the mood to write, and that is open up a channel and stream something musically poignant, or mood striking. I feel the rhythms and lyricisms are intoned as I play of what I craft of composing poetry.

I think I’ve heard you or another member oft extolling the virtues of Imagine Dragon’s music. I’m seldom swayed to consider something, until I am tempted to choose from suggestions on playlists, as I go deep on Freya Ridings 2019 debut album to find my emotional lyrical and musical soul’s counterpart. Ironically, I didn’t get snagged first by the song that made her a sensation from her first track used on a reality show. So, she’s someone I repeatedly played in the background like your Dragons. “Castles,” by the way, is how she hooked me.

Noting your flavor an indie that doesn’t get much play, mine goes back to Ben Folds Five (3 band members, BTW). Working as a Musicland store manager, I’d get plenty of demos to try out. One of the ways I took my store to top of the On Cue store division chain was from finding rarities, playing the crap out of it in store, and keeping enough copies on shelves, because I knew they’d be big — at least Ben. Later on “Brick” became a refined, talented piece underlining Fold’s musical and emotional depth. I’m leaving a link in this review for your consideration, though it should be Freya’s upbeat break up song, yet you might already know.

Sorry about going on like this. I know from your fiction that I reviewed for last month’s WDC sponsored Short Shots contest, you have great writing ability. How’d that go, BTW? I don’t see a ribbon on it, nor contest results. You made great use of that image prompt, unable to ‘imagine’ stories that could top it. So, for that and this great relation of a musical interest that gave me pause for reverie, I’ll send my exclusive group MB. Your enthusiasm for writing and music inspires me.

Thank you!

Brian
disability Writers Group Reviewer

Just putting it all together past with present for April, 2025 poetry month. Image #2334743 over display limit. -?-





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13
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Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Dear Tim Chiu Author Icon,

Caught this item on read and review. Reading through my third time looking for concrete clues like imagery, metaphor, expression as a love poem. I believe this is above my head, but I’m certain words like actors are not the movie kind.

If I’m looking at this other ways, it’s about honesty over charades to court or win love, It doesn’t deal in specifics< but moreover, society. The direct approach has been abandoned to be actors, maybe more than we can deliver.

Whether it speaks to symptoms of society,or realizations from witnessing modern day romance played out on filmm, we as a people are more hollow than ever. Maybe, about being dishonest, delusional unto ourselves, we don’t witness how it can harm others in waiting.

I yield to you, the knowing creator in this traditional rhyming piece. The meter was a little tense or off on one line. Which is it? I believe “A sorrowful asking…” was what tripped me up. It could simply use a smoother expression, which might be irony, if i’’m considering your poem correctly.

In any regard, it does prompt one to consider many things that can lead into areas questioning how real or honest we are. If we are not, by design or ignorance? I don’t like to point fingers, or be passive aggressive in regards where I have no other choice to point these matters out. Society learns it can gag you without ever talking directly to you, but around you. That’s no way to foster a romance. But, I’m getting away from your points and considering the results of my multiple but uneducated interpretations.

Nice to meet with your assemblage of words again,

Brian
disability Writer’s Group Reviewer

I’m blind, not disabled.



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14
14
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Happy Account Anniversary elisabeth Author Icon

It’s a well structured and thought out poem, "I want to be loved by an artist" Open in new Window.. Noting you're in high school, your poem reveals more depth that comes from the seasons of experienced life.

The set up was a good mechanism to convince a reader through examples of the narrator’s opinion of what an artist is not (if speaking only of the passion for one’s own craft). It’s to the point of a commanding, assured presence in set up that gives a reader reason to believe and side with you. The repetition of the phrase also helps drive the vehicle.

Perhaps, before transitioning to the next part, I might help with the awkward line before the turn, when I believe you mean ‘like all aging souls do’. If implying the singular, ‘every aging soul does’.

The first verse expressing beautifully how artist’s capture something, witnessing imperfection as beauty is found to feel fresh, visual and compelling.

As for shadows, I’d prefer ‘curl and hug a figure’, partly to show proper progression. You might be able to get directly into this expression by leaving out a bit of passive language. For instance, ‘fall in love with shapes when shadows curl and hug a figure’. That might be too tight an edit, if preserving a narrative voice.

You could use different line breaks to keep the good flow of your message. This is the romantic part of the message. It could be whispered to a lover, spoken with passion at a reading. Reading what I write aloud informs me where line breaks occur naturally, either for suspense, focus on a line fragment, or to catch one’s breath.

There is great quality to this write. It’s rare and refreshing and it gives me pause to consider, as an artist, how I approach my craft, from many angles. I’m impatient, hyper-focused and highly functioning. I feel I’ve lived a thousand heartbreaks and want to appeal to each and all when I write, so they can see the part of me unwitnessed, the way I want to be realized. I’d create monoliths in words if it could restore what ails, what informs passion to try and try again until I get it right. I’ll never be satisfied, regardless. Voices like mine fade, new ones taking their place.

Whether simplistic or complex, never settling and continuing to follow where words inform, never give up. Stain the world with the ink of your mind. Reviewing is how I come up with expressions like that.

Your writing is mature beyond its years and encouraging. Read poetry, great poetry. But, go easy on Plath, lean into Emily, Walt, and maybe some modern poets apolitical. Stay rooted in earth, what inspiring beauty from Spring to Fall to promise of renewal. It will be very hard to avoid shortcomings of a nation and world where capitalism dominates consumerism, heading toward police state, totalitarianism, as Orwell’s conceived concerns with 1984 and Animal Farm have embedded in the social fabric of the world.

A bit much, but since I’m dropping off feedback, my insights. I’m not an authority, just passionate about safeguarding the world with whatever wonderful words can inspire unity over callous divisiveness to pit us against one another. I don’t want to be a slave in a world with watered down language and expression.

Keep writing. Best to you,

Brian
A disability Writer/Reviewer

I’m legally blind. I apologize for errors causing confusion.

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15
15
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Dear Amethyst Angel 💐 Author Icon,

Brilliant! At some point I thought, “nailed it.” All very real with the surreal included, making the wife the central protagonist. There is plenty of tension and intrigue to a reader, pushing further through text with anticipation. I see the prompt posted beneath the story. Seeing it sooner wouldve helped me more quickly acclimate to the scene.

Plentiful in depiction, i was grasping at notions of where this was headed, feeling a strategic moment would present to send the story into motion. If it had been preceded by an act of introduction to Josh, to get a sense of him, it might double down on innocence portrayal, and to conveniently plant a foreboding detail a reader might recall to give more dimension to his character. Cut and dried, left to assume he’s a bad guy. People are way more complicated (as i see myself), as stories wrestle with humanism amid morality, where it gets hazy. Story that grows a character lends reality and ultimate satisfaction. Not much time for that in 2k or less (making me wonder how long was The Outcasts Of Poker Flat by Bret Harte…checked 1,256 words!). Now I'm reminded of A Good Man Is Hard To Find, Flannery O’Connor (maybe, rest of my review will unveil.

So, as long as this reads, and as well as you have frameworked and neatly fit in a believable and riveting story, no need for revision at this point. Considering it’s written for the Short Shots prompt, a contest that essentially culls brief vignettes like this. But, so seldom are any prompt fiction items written this well. Congratulations.

Now, this story would be great at novella length. I had moments of visualization that really sold the story. If you should further, a few things I caught might lend to whatever future endeavors with this, or to tweak copy for the present. I can’t separate these offerings by now or future, intermingled in my ADHD-harnessed head. Offering overall notes for current and future prospects:

1. Josh needs more development. Preserve the first person omniscient with her. Seems her naivete extends to how she flips from love of her spouse to how quickly sold he’s a bad guy. I know from her abrupt wake up and anger about being stranded without a clue was very distressing for her. Works well. Positively perfect start. If we get some back story like length of marriage, a little background on her, what makes her distinctive, it helps me further conceive and connect how the couple arrived in this situation.

2. As to Josh: how a bank president gets caught up in this. Many other stories reveal things like he did someone a favor and it escalates. I’d like to see his character fleshed out as either good, bad or gray, so a reader can also ponder or pronounce their final judgment for his motivations. (Too long for this piece) I believe ‘flippant’ described his attitude. That he drugged his wife and left her alone on a mysterious private island really sells betrayal. I can digest that

3. I like how hard she had to fight herself from exploding, blowing their plans to trap him. Perhaps, if she was a safe distance away, but could still hear, a great way to convey to her well-crafted reactions, though seems too careless to trust she wouldn’t overreact to the betrayal.

4. The chain of events here. While I don't buy he’d leave her this exposed, without something that compelled him to desert her. She, a pampered wife (assumed), is more likely catered to, with offered excuse he’d be away (business). I buy the drugging, if no other means to keep her deluded. But, he took too long, not enough precautions. He's either blackmailed into doing this, faking his phone presence, or he’s really greedy and has an addiction of sorts from suspicions at the bank, gambling debt or drug addiction…my favorite. They seem young, she is attracted to his charisma, great job, lifestyle, and parties.

5. Plot twists. I imagined about six directions the story could take before they revealed themselves to her. Made me take tangents on where the story could lead. I had not noted the length of this story before I started, so it could have curtailed my imaginative processes.

Kidnapping. Who’s the target?
They get separated by unforeseen circumstances and she’s a humorless Goldie Hawn type to one that is surprising the reader each step of the way toward unwitting action hero. Great empowerment vehicle for women who trust or depend on men too much, rely on self, to reveal their intelligence/problem solving, savvy and internal fortitude to adapt on the fly without resources, even MacGyver a way out of situations to thwart those with the most guile. I can think of lots of female leads who fit that archetype.

She is the villain, fooling us. She’s in on it with her hubby. It might either require her being an anti-hero. She discovers what he’s up to, goes along with plans to keep his ass out of trouble. This can meet with many more conflicts, as she, the anti-hero, leaves behind necessary casualties to protect an idiot she loves, furthering a female lead who is closer to cleaner/assassin to secret agent or ex-cop trapped on an island with geography she carefully studies with plans to equip herself.

If he violates her with drugs, it will be an unexpected detail that forces her to play innocent until she locks up the husband and wife before transaction to get after what happens next, knowing he put himself in crosshairs, possibly learns that he’s outlived his usefulness, or plans to make this the last transaction, or learn of the setup and a plan to kill all by the real bad guys. Dark.

(you can ignore this, still spinning thoughts i had) Not your story intent, but my first of several wonderings, being remote location. Dumbed down, he’s captured because culprits steal American’s organs, leaving them to die, having to save themselves (there goes that Stabbing Westward song again in my mind). Been done, seen it, and a great cautionary tale. If it's freshly updated with awareness, if it’s gotten worse, mutated by MO. A running out of time ordeal, if there's time to save him, put herself in jeopardy with time running out, until too late, and now it's survival for herself. I have been in remote locations in Mexico, seen lifestyles there, near resort communities. It's beneath poverty to the level they are a community looking out for one another and rich Americans are easy targets. I thwarted a pickpocket attempt, saw how all deny seeing the event unfold.

I wondered about surrealism. How much of a drug stupor? Is she an unwitting Alice who actually does begin to imagine her surroundings. Striking a tender balance with her unwitting stupor slowly evolving, her realization what’s happening with the original, intended story of a drug transaction gone wrong. Two ways to split off that, he’s an idiot that can’t get out of something, no one will help, or the bad guy who doesn't really care if she lives or dies to save himself, and when she has knowledge, charms her to deceive before the plot twists back in a myriad of plot-twisty ways.

Getting off of all that, having complimented your strong writing and conception that's provoked my insane amount of rambling with a tablet, tapping without trimmed nails, character by character tenaciously to this point in a looong sentence, the ending wrapped too neatly, too quickly to feel full satisfaction. It might be the one nagging detail. Maybe,mother title could be better? What’s central to story, most profound: The Banker’s Wife? / Paradis Lost ? seeing no John Milton tie-in) Sunburn Island? I guess I have lots of them… How I Lost My Ignorant, Drug-Dealing Husband On Vacation? I’ll stop.

I loved how it was playing out. I would hate to see the illuminating start truncated to add to the epilogue. Getting more value from her reactions: a need to show more emotions in need of consolation, and more power from the couple’s beliefs to the point spiritualism plays a bigger role to help shape a takeaway. She should utter a phrase beginning with, “But I thought…” that can quickly encapsulate trust/betrayal/overlooked signs/duration, age of relationship amid this unique bond formed with this couple offering wisdom and spiritualism. If you could tie one detail from the beginning, already introduced or quickly contrived, it could be the piece to get satisfactory resolution to intone a takeaway.

A story this well-told with rich detail that can lead a reader by the nose deserves more consideration for expansion. I offer my help all the time to writers longing for enough words to produce the printable, shelve-able tome…usually during NanoWrimo type events. I’ve severely curtailed my own writing and reviewing, deeming it is not meritorious or advantageous to participate in a community that has gotten my life’s blood in the past. I know I'm prone to overcommit. But, should you further conceive this story, if my help might be deemed worthy, I'm always up to helping a deserving writer with good words get as much as they can from their craft.

Sorry, knowing ingo too far to deep. Self-editing is not my strength, thanks to a paternalistic life domineering that iIexplain myself before ultimate condemnation, without the late medical diagnosis that informed anxiety-provoking tensions. TMI. Good work. A pleasure to have witnessed today.

Sincerely


Brian
DWG Reviewer

Holy Grail of Myth stays the Excalibur.
Didn’t know it’d be nearly 95-hundred characters before I started *RollEyes*


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16
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Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Dear Strychnine Author Icon

This is a complex subject, but one that I would like to dive into because I am familiar and never far off from what you express in this sort of confessional. I'd like to examine it from different vantages: psychological, emotional and structural.

Obvious, hard to label this item. More likely, a journal entry. I remember writing openly in an essay in my high school English class and information similar to this got a "you brave your chest when you write" from my English teacher, who I disliked until the end of that semester. Back then, even teachers ridiculed students, so the whole class could laugh at my expense. And facing some of the most difficult people, situations gave me composure.

This leads into the psychological aspect. The emotional component of your piece does tie into the psychological as well as the structural as I'll attempt to give my take.

My first response when I read that first sentence was, ‘that's me’. Or, was. But, still could be. Inside, I'm racing. You're racing through words like you need to get to a point before someone cuts you off. You're probably used to people telling you what you are than listening to you state your position. As a result, anxiety sets it and like me control and get through the dialogue, hopefully understood by others. But, who's the audience here? It feels like either something stirred this writing to life or you have ADHD or a learning difficult that your highly functioning brain is helping you override certain societal restraint and condition. It will be beautiful when you summit, because coming back down to earth, knowing yourself, everyone in the room and how to walk through life unscathed will make you feel bullet proof and ten feet tall.

what you wrote:
I laugh at my life as if it were one magnanimous joke, questioning why I even try anymore, yet finding that giving up feels too easy while persisting seems impossibly hard.

This set the tone. Rather than break this into two different sentences you present the dichotomy of living day to day, how much to persist or idle and feel empty, unfulfilled. The commitment life needs to just exist continues further:

I only find my life laughable because who wouldn’t, when each day you work harder than the last, only to sit down after your efforts and face even harsher criticism than before—a never-ending game with no breaks and impossibly strict rules.

That’s the stated restraint. This essay is the complaint. Writing is fighting here, as you present the mental anguish of hard work without reward or fair acknowledgement. Writing is resilient, forthright and helps lay out what could be an open letter to the world, which I read and relate with, stuck in this house for three weeks straight. That last part about rules reminds that life is more punitive than rewarding. It’s here I’m persuaded that example need serve to back up your gripe. And when a younger man, would note how unfair ticket, cite me for minor traffic violations when I’m a good driver 99% of the time. I heard the siren, would see flashing lights and thought ‘what now’? It’s my metaphor for life like a police state bordering on totalitarianism.

Structure: You then seem to go from first person to third, as I’ve not witnessed a character introduction:

And when she reflects on her character, she struggles to see herself as generous or kind because she has been labeled as ungrateful and insignificant. When she contemplates that her life might be interesting, she looks back at others' opinions and finds it to be nothing more than boring and fruitless.

What I get is a sense of is getting away (distancing oneself) from life, witnessing it externally. It’s a mechanism to be rational and ease frustration, leaning into one’s own objectivity or need for a story taken over by someone else, in this, understanding the strife.

Finally:

Others think that someone so young has seen nothing of this world, but I believe I am much more perceptive than the average person my age. I’ve reflected on my own character, scrutinized my issues, and questioned why I have them at all. Why am I callous and cruel? To be called wicked without being recognized— is it an insult or a compliment to my character?

Now here, you might not name it, but you point to dehumanization. It’s character assassination by judgmental assumptors. If I’m relating, it’s people are cowards who use what little dominion over another, then punch and hide. It’s as if they stand on moral high ground. Without ever launching a fair question to address, society would rather label a person, shelve or file them away. It makes it easier for them than to deal with another. Perhaps, we are too complex to understand and that life boxes people in, forcing us into darkness to ask, ‘why me’? When really, it should be ‘what’s wrong with you’? That Q would mirror or launch back at pious, self-righteous jerks. Could go as far as mocking them with the comeback, “Who hurt you?” I’m careful to respond to Neanderthal narcissists.

I truly feel life and its inhabitants are difficult and prohibitive because they are weak, don’t trust and don’t address their own problems, turn heel on people who look and act vulnerable, keeping the upper hand. Your expository is halfway to realization that it’s life blowing smoke. No one gets to tell someone what to do, lord over others. Getting a foothold, working more on addressing those who hurt us, just say, ‘I feel unsafe dealing with you.’ It’s fair to speak recognized feelings. It doesn’t have to be reacting as they do, gaslighting Nazis. Show them what they are, damage they inflict. Be prepared. If they don’t respond, they know you’re right. Accept silence as their acquiescence.

Overall, you’ve really laid into a subject many address and deal with. When life meddles with people like us, the agents of its dehumanizing ways need a mirror to show them it’s unnecessary. It’s especially narcissistic to invoke oneself over another. I would never want to be in a position to hold dominion by arrogance over others. This is where you’re at in your self-actualizing process. If young, more maturation and experience will give even greater perspective. It’s just life. We’re all in the same boat. I’d tell to them to quit being a (pick your favorite body part or animal here, to shame). That they need to lighten up. It’s better to get along where we commune. Otherwise, it goes to a uniquely intoned, ‘who hurt you?’ Each time.

A pleasure to peruse. Thanks for sharing, helping remind me there are redactive people out there that need to be taken to life’s ‘woodshed’ and to get off my lawn. Nicer way to phrase it.

Brian
WDC DWG Group Reviewer
DWG Autumn Sig


I’m legally blind, closer to just blind. Hard to edit what I write when I go on this long. Hope it’s readable and helps in any way. It’s been since last Fall when I gave consideration to this.

This review of your noted item could serve members of this writing community who need to ‘check’ someone. *ChessKingB* Your move. *Chess board pieces on the floor*


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17
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Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello!
Dear Angelica Weatherby- Mother Day Author Icon,

I get to review you per the terms of the “I Write in 2025” group. Apologies as I bumble my way through your offered story.

I must admit, I’m not much for anything other than mainstream fiction. I’m out of my element to speak to what is taking place in the story. I can discern somewhat. Have you considered a foreword or something to help a reader digest this? Perhaps, more readers would indulge. Anyway, it’s less story and more like a scene in a longer story.

That aside, I can speak to story structure, grammar and the like. It feels like a cold open at the start, though this is short. I was getting a feel for the story, wanted more development, more action. It compels by end with foreboding. This seems like a segment of an ongoing story. There isn’t time to develop characters, scene. There is dialogue and descriptions of what is happening throughout, some told through dialogue. Third person omniscient but mainly through the main character, but I don’t get a sense of them other than motivations.

Talk of language barriers with this castle didn’t seem to influence problems with communication. Maybe, the translator? Hard to tell. Also, instead of the respondent making note of the creatures/animals with them, perhaps the introduction could include depictions of the detail, descriptions of animals to begin visualizing creatures. Perhaps, the guard provide further detail to round out the vision, without having to slow story just in their description, giving the story more inventory with elements added to aid an envisioning reader. But, if part of something longer…

Since the animals could communicate, the cobra intrigues, given its wisdom, and seems like a primary character that could be advising these two (I assume humans) as they search for help. It seems they did not anticipate well. However, it could still be implied they knew the likely response of deportation; however, with plans to plead their case, stall, that could buy time. Otherwise, they don’t impress if they aren’t cunning enough to stay a step ahead of the game, as with any good story, leaving readers in suspense. As outcasts or defectors, there could be an element of danger here to heighten suspense. Perhaps, having the animals use their special abilities to create group awareness…like checking the area to see if they’re followed, or if safe.

Things I couldn’t visualize: creatures or characters. The translator tool I can imagine, but no special name? Is it employed because the dialogue seemed straight forward.

I found to be good the description of place, the group at a portal and how she was preparing communication for this visit, but portals can be futuristic or to another realm as a gateway to another dimension. It’s easy to assume some things for those who read this genre, not for me. Though, by end, dragon was a pretty big tell.

The Ja’moir character’s action, I assume when I read this: “Then he pulled out the translator too,” as it stopped me in my tracks. I think it’s not so much clarity but certainty I lack when I take these leaps. As for description, some adept adjectives can create an illusion of a thumbnail sketch, before scenes continue to show us more. I hear dragon, nothing more need be said. However, this is me. An intended audience can glean much more from your story than I. But, a really good story can grab anyone, regardless of genre proclivity.

I found a grammar error…”We were kidnapped from by that city, where we live," Ja'moir replied

Otherwise, opening and ending are strong. It would take more than double those words for me to imagine and infer what’s going on. It’s not a story as is. I read the rules of the contest. If you can create drama and conflict with the guards, or thwart an ambush, it would help the middle of this piece.

That’s about it. I didn’t take as long as usual to digest and respond, as in the past. I’m working with a tablet, poor vision and a review tool dialog box as wide an ocean with small fish for characters to cobble together. Hope this final edit suffices. Couldn’t fix structure of my comments, because I’d really mess up. My iPad settings enlarge everything but this stubborn website.

A pleasure, best wishes with your writing,

Brian
disability Writer’s Group


Holy Grail of Myth stays the Excalibur.


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18
18
Review of i was a kid  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


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Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Charlotte Thomas Author Icon,

A review in recognition of your poem, [I was a kid.]

As a poem of cause and effect it lacks while it demonstrates someone emotionally stunted by withholding, dismissive parents. All the necessary emotional detail is here, the structure very illuminating and a great formula to question somewhat rhetorically. I see its value. The poem itself, a page of self-therapy from one not fully realized, visualized. In self-actualization, though, it starts out and ends having to do things for oneself and walking away to start your life away (unfortunately). It delivers a powerful message in the poem’s thumbnail framework. You are on to something here that could use fuller exposition to connect writer and reader.

I’ve had similar issues growing up., helping me connect on the parallels and main focus of the poem…abandonment. This is truly difficult, even as adult, to navigate, encoded with the PTSD from these experiences that I’m sure readers of this poem will realize. In my case, if I wasn’t unreachable, being different, and undiagnosed or because my little brother got all the attention, could do nonwrong. I took most of the punishment. You mention something similar in this poem, but blame parents for doting on other siblings, causing this insecurity from imbalance. In my case, I took out some frustration on little brother, giving me more trouble. Errors we make as children, that lack of understanding, and other factors are difficult to express, without forum, as a child. You clearly express in progression how the situation worsens when siblings learn the pecking order.

Cinderella Syndrome a thing? It’s not clear if step-parents, half-siblings. What biases would parents have? This is a concise but could be a bit more with some implied situations to infer. You well demonstrate in these lines necessary topic points, though leaves me disappointed on two fronts 1) lack of cited circumstances to intone this and (2) the tired language. A case can be made for both adding dimension to the poem.

Tired language demonstrates the bedraggled voice of the poem speaker. As children of PTSD, our value in the hands of our authoritarians, we are conditioned by response and the absence of it. It leads to social conditioning that makes it hard to warm up to strangers, when distrusting family. I don’t know about you, but if I rehash those old days, bad feelings start to bubble up. It seems poor decisions can result, recalling guilt and shame. Made me emotionally stunted a long time. I overheard some ask another why I was monotone. It’s that voice people prey on, without understanding. There is an upside to feeling insignificant. I became tenacious, a fighter, ever learning, never wanting anyone to be my master. I control my destiny., and animate my voice, including singing.

This poem reminds me that questions unanswered can live with us life long. I wish closure for the narrator of these words. The form is great, really intones impact of your message, especially when ending on that title line. A satisfying write goes a long way toward healing, can be soothing,. Writing structures thought, creates portals to the past to see, get perspective. I wish you well with life, family writing.

Sincerely,

Brian
disability WRITERS Group

Image #1831327 over display limit. -?-

Image #2334722 over display limit. -?-
My apologies for grammar and typo issues. Low vision, font in review tool microscopic, and too many distractions for one troubled to navigate with ADHD. *Cool* using a tablet, because fingers won’t stay lined up on keyboard, and frustration adds to the mix. Ok, all disclaimers aside, hope today has been a great anniversary.


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19
19
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Dear DRSmith Author Icon,

This is quite the poem and a pleasure to see so well written with character voices that could intone the nature of the parts in their play portrayed. In between the couplets with imagery, quotes and a story revealed, your poem had felt rare and too unique to be found in these internet parts.

It’s a clear voice that grabs a reader like me, with its plain vernacular and positive politeness. A story akin to limerick tonality and message, it offered irony as well as a visually tempting scene. It had a feel of something between an old Playboy filler or something passed around the foundry to read, better than and too long for a bathroom stall. Does harken an earlier era, mainly from the euphemistic and language usage. Clever, easy to read, I enjoyed sharing my reaction.

Brian
disability Writers Group

Sorry, not a good word maker-upperer?


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20
20
for entry ""MADNESS OF MARCH"" Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Dear THANKFUL SONALI 18 WDC Years! Author Icon,

I pounced on this shortly after posting in this year’s ‘I Write’. I noted after noting the prompt and focus of this month’s Bard’s Hall previous, while in consideration of this contest for myself. I had to check the forum after noting the title, and indeed Ẃeβ࿚Ẃỉtcĥ Author Icon had intended it be called ""MADNESS OF MARCH"" Open in new Window.. Noting her suggested themes, this goes into an area of your life, culture and religion to learn of what ‘Madness’ where you reside.

This is a poem with pride and enthusiasm that does more than be an acrostic. It taps into youth and vitality as well as the spirituality. I considered educating myself through google to gain more perspective. It takes a lot of work to write reviews, as I’ve done in the past. So, I hover over your employed words, loved the repeated and resounding alliteration on the second M. Here, in the flow from depictions to expressions you deliver powerful, sharp lyricism to my ear that intones and powers your poem replete with imagery, exposition, while familiarizing this reader.

My head is all gummed up with basketball, coined March Madness, over-monetized. Limiting for people in America, lacking in world perspective, raised on nationalism, as the ‘writers of history’, with the citizenry growing foggier by the minute, despite this knowledge of our origins, ironically.

And, seeing your enthusiasm in your poem for your part of the world is revealed well, as I’m aware what’s lacking about this part of the ‘newest’ continent. Happy for you. Your poem is a great pick-me-up. I cheer you on!

Brian
disability Writers Group reviewer *Cool* \ *tap* *tap* *tap*
It feels my clumsy English is behaving like a second language this night. All edited out. *sigh*


Holy Grail of Myth stays the Excalibur.


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21
21
Review of walk  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Tamzin Morton Author Icon,

I’m a bit late, but better late…I happened upon this brief work while searching WDC Anniversaries and a review in celebration of 22 years here? Wow. Your description just said, “this just came to me,” otherwise described as an article, with arts, inspirational and political. Indeed, a genre soup of many flavors. I see this more as a poem, treating as such.

Let’s get it out in the open for any who don’t know, this poetic technique you apply with a title driven poem is anaphora. The term anaphora refers to a poetic technique in which successive phrases or lines begin with the same words, often resembling a litany. The repetition can be as simple as a single word or as long as an entire phrase. Poets love anaphora, the repetition of a word or phrase at the start of a sentence or clause. Poets love anaphora because the device creates coherence and makes poems memorable. Poets also use anaphora because it helps drive their point home.

I certainly can see a litany within the lines that seem like a condemnation. And, if you do this, and predictively, it serves as a message spoken as a warning from an experienced, sage voice.

Walk the path you make for it will lead you to hate

The line, while grammar might be weak, sends a powerful first volley at the reader. The tone of the narrative commands a reader’s attention. Further:


Walk till you see no happiness in the world
Walk from life and it woes that bind you
Walk till your feet bleed and your legs can go no more
Walk till you are nothing
And be happy you won’t see the war

I see imagery that evokes the sensory connected to the author’s message. It’s advice at the outset that a reader connects. I myself wouldn’t know a strategy to succinctly dovetail those thoughts in a cohesive message, but it’s a valiant and spirited effort I enjoyed consuming.

Otherwise:
'till' is 'til' and 'it' is 'its'. For grammar, remove 'for' in first line and use a conjunctive or punctuation to connect the two thoughts.

Hope this helps,

Brian
WDC Disability Writers (DWG)
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22
22
Review of Money  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
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Celebrating your writing this month with a review.
.

Happy Account Anniversary Imagination Author Icon

I stumbled upon this item when trying to find something to acknowledge your anniversary earlier this month, finally able to finish.

These lyrics get right into subject with a topic about single mothers and poverty. It is direct and does not lean into symbolism, metaphors to evoke a response for a potential listener. I imagine these words could be performed as angry or gritty with a folk or blues approach. And, as I see, it is unfinished. There is something to this and can see this developed as song. I think for lyrics, those opening lines are long and can be broken wherever the natural pause is and meant to be felt. I think that this would help for the read and also for a vocalist.

What’s key about lyrics is lyricism. These words have meaning, some sway. Sometimes, just reading words like these can help provide its own rhythym and be felt connected to message. The rhyme scheme helps drive these points home. It was a pleasure to read and consider your lyrics for feedback.

Sincerely,

Brian
Disability Writers Group (DWG)
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23
23
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Jay O'Toole Author Icon,

I found this poem of yours on the read and review page showing with a flair of that bard of yore with a touch of language hinting at modern day perplexities. There is a good rhyme and seemingly has consistent meter that is easy to consume for these eyes, including the first line that appears directly borrowed to set the tone.

My favorite passage:
Down here the summer days are hot.
The P.C. rules I quite forgot.
Now that the A.C. hit the spot,
let's talk about you, Miss Hot-to-Trot

It provides sensory detail from hot to cool, perhaps operating on another level, and depicts a struggle to be what another needs, willing to keep that subject on mantle. It’s been a while since considering ye olde English for poem. Somedays, as refreshing as that a/c.

A pleasure to considering your writing again. This, an older item. Until I peruse again,

Brian
WDC Anniversary
and Angel Army reviewer
Non-Animated Angel Army Signature


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24
24
Review of Have Faith  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Wheelbarrow Poetry Group (Be A...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


A review for the Haiku poem "Have Faith"

Happy Account Anniversary Drew Author Icon

Noting it is you've surpassed two years in this writing community, I humbly stop by to read and offer some response to your writing with "Have Faith".

In the darkest night,
Hope's whisper guides the lost soul,
Faith lights the unknown.

I enjoy discovering all the different approaches to haikus and this is one that works well. The ideals of 'faith' and 'hope' do go hand in hand. You've managed to personify hope as something whispering and guiding the lost. It's one's faith that can make it possible to see their way out of the darkness.

We have the old adage, "Have faith" or "have faith it will work out," which is akin to sitting on your hands like an impatient child. This knowledge driven haiku drew me in, as I want to envision outcome with how the poet has structured meaning of faith in the short oriental form, see how the words and expressions that give night, light, hope and faith the leading roles as actors and how that might function within brevity.

I don't see any flaws in particular. A haiku usually has a nature theme, but this seems akin to it, and spiritual. The final line is strong in it's declaration, giving a reader a concrete takeaway.

With notions of 'hope' and 'faith' as entities, it reminds that they come from us and our will for those seeking out destiny. Perhaps, it's natural to be an illusory bunch, getting ourselves motivated to continue on toward that goal's finish line.

I feel if one has a strong passion for something, faith is there. Hope's whisper feels like having done all you can do and it's out of your hands, so one has to wait it out to see if fate will play with destiny.

Nicely done.

Brian
WDC Account Anniversary Reviewer


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25
25
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Wheelbarrow Poetry Group (Be A...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Fyn Author Icon

A lovely story and nicely narrated. It plays on some things I’d wish for myself, with low vision. Her offering of money was a precious moment. Knowing the writing game, this story breaks it down in a way to encourage writers to always write and share your stories. I see the worth in his relation to her that will inspire her to one day chase those inspiring visions, after much experience with storytelling through the written word.

In a way, I had a funny reaction to how she would repay her doubt, once it was revealed what she wanted to with that vision…only write for the rest of your life! Through the story, it’s realized that the worth in paying forward a debt will inspire goodness, kindness that others could pay forward. Sad end, but realizes a life cycle of sorts, like completing a mission in life. As the girl is about to move forward.

Thanks for sharing,

Brian


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