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*One of the most sought after reviewers at Writing.Com.* Seriously? *Laugh* There was a time my honesty could be brutal. Residing here 14 years, being a sensitive creature myself, I'm able to temper observations that neither flatter or off-put. I like to see the good in what people offer, observe how their writing projects.
 
If I review, it's mainly because I see the value. I want to strike up friendships and partnerships, though it can be quite isolating here for a non-conformist, who has bent part of the way, but not fully met with reciprocating compromise. This can temporarily cause me to bend back. *Smirk*
 
So if you want to see how I review, my feedback is public. Don't be afraid to tap in and see for yourself. *Smile* UPDATE: IF YOU'RE AN UPGRADED MEMBER, you don't have to gift me points for reviews. Send me that one free merit badge you're allotted monthly and I'll review up to 4 mid-length poems, or one short story up to 5k words.
I'm good at...
Sleeping. Retired now. I encourage writers with my reviews. I look for strengths and give direction on how to make something better. I am willing to continue to correspond with the writer if there is more I can offer. I look at what drives a reader. I think with my experience, I can see where your art derives from and is taking you. Sometimes, before the writer knows.
Favorite Genres
nature, love, psychological, drama, human interest, history, science, conspiracy, dystopian, fatalistic, tasteful
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, fan fiction, some fantasy and sci-fi, or anything Lord of the Rings/Game of Thrones-ish.
Favorite Item Types
poetry, short story, essay
Public Reviews
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Review of Time  
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I know I asked for more input from you before reviewing this item, noting you have wanted to succeed at contest writing with your poetry. With blinders on, I will look at this poem you have linked in hopes that I can offer some advice for improvement. Hopefully, I will be able to critique your work in a way that will satisfy.

The poem is mid-length with longer than normal lines, each spaced apart. Poems that have verses are blocked in groups of lines, or have no spaces at all until the end, as with free verse poetry. I would say a reader might take one look at this before reading and feel a bit intimidated.

You begin with a good narrative style, speaking to someone when you create a mental image with the first line (your hook to grab a reader):

Oh! you're here, with the "new year" banner in hand

I found this introduction good (made me think of baby new year) and you have tempted me to read on and discover what will happen next (I'm going to remove spacing between lines to show how you can create verses out of this.):

Question is, for how long, here you're going to stand!
You ran five decades, right before my eyes
One year adding more, if I don't want to lie.

Your race begun with the time the earth is made
All the things you melt down and all that now in your head.
I wonder what you are ? can't you rest in peace?
Don't you have an occasion or holiday, don't you want a release!
Actually, who you are? A friend or an enemy?
Here I'm writing, you read it better, the list of your felony !

Remember? once I was a little boy, you can't deny the truth!;
You took away all the days and every joy of my youth.
You took the things away, with what I was happy
I see you always dictate, it ain't a bigotry?

You were always bad for me, you made me cry ;
I gave you seven oceans, all the tear drops of my eyes.
What you did, all my life, why? just tell me why?
Why that enmity you created? Only to make me cry?

Now I've a question in mind, about whom I loved the most
Tell me, where she stays now, I wanna know it at any cost.
You just keeping hiding her, somewhere in this earth
Tell me she is in which city? Washington, Seoul or Perth?

You know my eyes in search, all the earth, in every corner
Why I'm being punished for? I delayed to tell I love her?
O.K., it's my mistake, I confess, won't talk about this anymore
I will give you few more tears, but keep her safe and secure.

I have still, a lot more things to ask, to listen from you.
Why you took away my little sister, who just born new?
You knew I love babies, but you kept my lap empty,
My life almost eaten up, you see? how much you greedy!

You took them all, time, in a circle I grew up
Now that I see you are, 'life' in name, but a bluff !
O.K., whatever you are and whatever you're gonna say,
I don't have much, the price you ask, I can't afford you to pay.

I want you to make a pledge, only at least for me
I shouldn't have asked you this if I had such key.
Running and running all the time, never want to rest,
Hope you will stop for a while, I think, it will be the best!

Would you please stop running, when my time be on end?
I'll say the world ,"Goodbye!", that's all, ...my friend!
Start then your new journey, restless in your way,
Please dear, make a pledge, say, something say!

There seems to be some natural places to make verses out of this. The language is awkward, perhaps because English is not your native tongue. I see potential with this, though. It seems like a personal subject and one I would not attempt to show how to edit. I think it would take a lot of worth to improve just because of the length and the sensitive theme introduced, so personal to the author, with respect.

My suggestion is to start with something new around 12 lines in length. You could even experiment with Haiku, the basis for many free verse styles. If you look it up, there is a basic game you can play with the words from how many syllables to use and how the last of the three lines reflects on the word pictures created in the first two lines.

I would say I cannot help you further with this particular poem, which I am sure is very special to you. Preserve it in your heart.

Brian

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Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Dear Ben Langhinrichs ,

I had to read through a few times and google a few things about praying manti? Manteses? to truly, fully appreciate the effort it took to create this genius sonnet, "Ladies of the Dance. I don't want to google anymore! *Laugh* Anyway, it gave me a fuller appreciation of the third verse, when matched by the first and second verses that are summarized nicely by the couplet at the end of your 'Shakespearean Sonnet.'

I wish I had the will (and discipline) to write in meter again (a sloppy, hack of a free verse writer), so I am in awe of anyone who accomplishes this feat. You do it with such striking imagery and emotion, connecting the reader with the lightening bug, whippoorwill and the two big green bugs who court and one gets beheaded (yecchh, what kind of life is that? TRANSFORMATION!).

It's sort of sneaky the way you word that final four line verse, because I forget this about their mating ritual. It felt dark for an outcome, but as far as nature goes, it's how it goes. the 'pas des deux' is brilliant! Color me jealous, because as a mating ritual here it adds beauty to an otherwise morbid scene. Such irony and contrast in those lines that gives the read such a rich flabor. Impressed. *Cool*

I was awestruck with the way you depict these scenes that carry a lot of weight with the imagery to reveal nature's rituals. I have to wonder about the final two lines, which to me read just as you say, like 'sorrow' about the dance. An argument can be made that none of these creatures have emotions. That they are just going through the motions. Yet, as a pet owner, I do know that animals can have feelings. Is it reserved for the more intelligent species?

Anyway, I'm likely reading too much into the commentary on the bottom lines. In fact, the reader connects to these feelings, relates from their own experience. In fact, we can personify, if anything else. And that is what makes this poem so good.

It was a pleasure to read and comment,

Brian

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3
3
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Dear 💙 Carly - BLUE!!💙 ,

Congratulations on the Bard's Hall first place win with this poem from May. I'm reviewing you as a member of the WDC Angel Army, celebrating moderators this month.

I've always been intrigued by Bard's Hall but have wondered why I can't figure it out, to participate. Or is it easy? Anyway, I found your poem while perusing the past contest winners.

The prompt by Mary Shelley is a good one. The judge's found your poem most deserving. I take a closer look to examine and see what made it successful. You started with a part of the quote as your lead-in, or hook:

Great and sudden change

What you do here is add imagery to follow: "Like clanging cymbals to the mind," which really grabs me. Then, you hit hard and heavy with 'distortion, disruption, desolation, despair,' each reside on their own line for emphasis (does that sound like the right progression for these words?). You choose hard sounding words with alliteration, a slight vowel change-up midway, that make for good sounding words.

Then, the poet states, "The mind flounders, Unaware." It's after the change that we are hopelessly bound to something like a sea where we are, "Unable to find footing." I would imagine so. Then, "It slips on the precipice of something new, Something not normal. Something out of the blue." I hear alliteration again and this time repetition of a word. We are to wonder what this precipice is. Is it metaphoric? Is it below in the metaphoric foundering that footing is found?

But, imagery changes scenes, "Suddenly thrown into chaos/World turned upside down" and I'm wondering how did it flip? This is a topsy-turvy kind of metaphorical existence. I can see why a person would feel off in a scenario portrayed like this. The poet goes on to say:

Night as Day
Day as Night
Each blended into the other
When will it end.


To me these line mean non-ending. This is what a true nightmare feels like. A great and sudden change can last forever, or what seems like forever, in this surreal existence where we can't fathom where we are or get any control over our situation.

I stop to wonder what Mary Shelley was conveying when she came up with that notion turned idiom. I wonder further how many great minds have tried to interpret it to fit an argument they make for something. It's illuminating.

This was fun. I enjoyed reading and discovering your poem to consider for feedback.

Brian

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4
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
The description line says it all. You barely need to write a poem, except for exposition on the subject. I get this feeling, feeling bottled up by other people's reaction to me and yet having to bend over backwards somehow to appease them so I am worthy enough to be in our ranks. Now, let's see what the poem is about.

Wow, is about all I can say. It's like someone took an imagery gun and loaded it with some of the biggest words and aimlessly painted the wall with so many expressions, it's mind boggling. Rather than try to dissect and interpret the poem, I have a suggestion. A free verse poem is most successful when it is singular in metaphorical relations, subject and/or theme.

It's good to hook readers with smaller clues to key us in slowly and lead us along. There is like four or five poems worth of multi-syllablic adjectives and nouns here making it difficult to plod along these lines to appreciate the poet's true intent. I remain a fan of the description line and support that vision.

Brian

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5
5
Review of Summer  
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
 
SURVEY
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Community of writers devoted to free verse or vers libre in many forms w/ focus on writing
#2235661 by brian k compton


I couldn't help but feel less than underwhelmed by this poem that directly describes the seasons and a few elements of each in relation to a person's feelings about it. When describing nature, we should have an affinity for it, something the compels your readers.

You repeat Spring twice in that first line and could redact one. The four couplets could have been just a description of each season, if you were to keep it functional, but this meandered a bit. It seemed unfocused. But, I see opportunity.

Does it have to be two line stanzas? Could each part of the season be fleshed out more by the poet? And, how do we connect to these seasons and how they affect the writer in a way that a reader might nod their head? And remember, poetry is an elevated language. We want to give people an 'aha' moment.

First two lines:

Spring has come and spring has gone,
Memories of winter are foregone.

You've already mentioned winter instead of holding off. Of course, the Spring redundancy with delineation (removal of one) gives opportunity to fill. Can we take rhyming off the table for a moment and wonder about spring having already gone. A short season? worth forgetting because it was cold or rainy? Did something significant happen that time of year, an allusion to what that might be? It might explain the sad, droll language you employ. Next:

Summer’s here with flowers bloomed,
The snow and cold have been doomed.

You have referenced winter again in a verse that is about summer. Something tells me that this gloomy person is a December. The line is akin to children's poetry. Can I assume that this is written by someone young? If a writer lacks experience about the seasons, google. Learn about the scientific names for the seasons and what's most prominent about each. I think summer inspires nature to come out of hiding, insects like butterflies and bees begin pollinating. The smell in the air changes as the heat emerges. There's a lot you can tap into.

Autumn's close, but not yet here
There's still some time for laughs and cheer.

Simple and to the point. We're transitioning through the season's fast, but when we come to the last verse, there's no winter reference but a summation. It's awkwardly worded but does serve as an appropriate summary. If you keep it to four verses, you should take away other winter references and focus on the the final season at the end here.

It sounds like the writer does not like winter, does not see the worth in it. To me, that is an opportunity to realize that it is essentially to the earth cycle. It has restorative powers and gives us a season indoors that comes with holidays and family get togethers to enjoy:

Although the heat comes shining down,
It’s hard to ever wear a frown.

Well, sorry if my review seemed a bit blunt. I don't know what level or age of writer you would be. I think that this poem sets up a perfect opportunity to use this as a structure to frame any words you want about the seasons. You want to surprise a reader with unique feelings, expressions, turn of a phrase. Give them something they haven't seen before, outside of greeting cards. There is so much room for improvement here. It's very doable.

Brian

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Review of Nostalgia  
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
The is a Super PowerReivewer Review:

 Nostalgia   (ASR)
It is a painful poem from the depths of a sad and lost person ...
#1881380 by Snder


I read through this poem described 'Nostalgia' and wondered why those last two lines at the end of the poem do not harken the open. This is a poem that seems like an open letter to the world while penning for one self the struggles to feel whole and complete and functional in this word, needing help and sense feeling they have disappointed others.

It's the 'whoa is me' without much self discovery. I think when we write, we are on the periphery of something we could explore deeper but restrict ourselves from going any deeper. Poetry is a way of doing this, to try to chip away at something over and over and it feels like we get nowhere because we are not willing to dive right in...to this thing called life. Afraid to experience.

The sad thing is that writing about it doesn't do it must justice, unable to get below that surface. Words are personal and perhaps revealing and by sharing our feelings in these we, we become false as we get lost. It's because we need to write to make an excuse for our life, having not fully lived, and feeling the guilt of it by association furthers the repression.

The poet here needs to explore those images. Find the connection to this subject you dance about, emotionally pine about, but never discuss. What is holding you back? Why do people look out for you? They know with what you struggle, but can't truly know until the writer reveals these innermost fears. I feel it. I know you can grasp it.

It was a pleasure to read and consider your poem for feedback,

Brian

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Review of Autumn  
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
 Autumn  (E)
A short object poem written from a painting
#1319987 by Kris


Some reviewers just don't understand how to interpret poems, perhaps don't carefully peruse the text to get a feel and understanding of what they are reading and what they should be feeling and visualizing. I came across this poem, "Autumn, listed on the review boards.

It's a short and sweet poem that is full of innocence and images of the purity of life in autumn. It is about this desire that the young are inspired by when they commune in a scene depicted so well by the poet:

Nature on fire
Sharp smell of Autumn
My heels, “click click click”
On the shiny dew drenched streets
Alive with fallen rubies

My eyes, burning and hungry
My arms, laden with life

Well it's obvious, the rubies on the ground are leaves in this poem about autumn. It feels like it is from the perspective of one acting a child with an armful of the fallen leaves. You describe the scene as wet with shoes making sounds as the character walks down the street (made me think that these were not the right kind of shoes, for some reason).

This poem does describe autumn, mentioning 'nature on fire' which was a great introduction. I cannot imagine how someone who reads to lend feedback could miss the allusion to all the images, connected to this greedy feeling to collect and contain all that autumn has produced.

What I would have liked to have seen more of in this poem is to continue this scene. There was a narrator to describe, a purpose that needed to be known. We sometimes can never know what the young are doing, but we know what they are feeling - joy. Their hearts bright as the autumn leaves trying to harvest them, preserve them.

I thought nature on fire was a perfect way to open this. It inspires all the colors of fire (and there are so many colors of leaves) and it connects it to the emotion we are about to feel from the exuberant one, collecting and carrying in their arm, 'laden with life.'

I do agree that it might be nice to discern what that smell of autumn is like to you? To be shared with a reader who might get a whiff from memory. It's wet and no doubt it's about what's all around us decomposing. We probably could insert our own smells from memory. But, there are definitive words that could elevate the reader's senses of that moment, which the poet could ascribe.

Eyes, 'burning and hungry', is directly the feeling of the wanton child who is communing in this environment where there feels like so much potential. Why wouldn't you still be talking about autumn? Some reviewers just don't get it and cannot fathom what the meanings of imagery and depictions are supposed to mean. Some could just google to get a better sense of what you are relating and connecting to for a reader to appreciate.

I like that you end with 'laden with life'. But, at the same time, I wanted more. This scene continues in my mind. There are leaf piles, wetness all around. There are partially shed trees looking on. Yes personification might be needed. You could describe the air, the breezes and being happy and all alone in this scene. It's personal and yet it's relatable.

I found some unique examples of expressions in this brief poem that serves as sort of a flashback to childhood and an appreciation of nature. Autumn scenes like this also lend to the need for appreciation of conservation.

I fully enjoyed your poem which I find deserves to be truly recognized for how it was intended. A pleasure,

Brian

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Review of Tall Trees  
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear amy-Has a great future ahead

Thank you for your recent review of my writing. I wanted to return the favor and have been perusing your portfolio. Obvious, that I would gravitate to your poetry folder. I peer inside and see a lot of short pieces, including one of my favorite themes of nature.

I'm drawn by the title and the simplicity of the poem. You are not attempting to write flowery, elaborate poetry by remark in a poem as you might to another your observations of trees and the need for preservation/conservation. The narrative style speaks directly to a reader. I have some thoughts.

Narrative style:
Can you imagine saying these words to someone else? A poem can be like a story, and storytelling seems very evident here. But, when you relay your thoughts, what do they bring? Usually, we like concrete imagines, things we can visualize in story and the passion you can bring to those words to get a reader to enjoy.

Your first few lines really direct the attention of a reader to look upon these trees and takes control of the narrative from the start. When I read through the poem to the end, my only feeling was the thoughts are incomplete. A good poem should summarize or land on something to reflect back on your creation. Which leads me to the style of poetry.

Poetry style:
Free verse poetry is very evident in this piece that some might confuse with prose. The only true subtle difference is in the way the words are displayed. Your line breaks and rhythm of read can help someone feel the impact of those words. Whether you use alliteration or assonance, different styles of punctuation or italics, among other things, you can emote beyond just an unusually placed verb, adjective or noun for emphasis.

What's unique about your style of free verse is you land new thoughts on each line. There is the call to action style of narrative with the poet's reflection on what's being witnessed, but the collection of thoughts that keep a reader focused on all you call attention to until the end. The brevity of the lines and poem can make for a quick and easy read, which readers will enjoy. It's just enough to consider without being overwhelmed. It uses an economy of words.

Imagery/Setting:
We all know about metaphors and picture words that best grab a person. Beyond that, writers employ the senses to put someone in scene, especially smell. I did get images of tall trees. I could only imagine pines. Yet, there is the mention of leaves and it is closely repeated in the neighboring line, before mentioning forests. In a way, the writer might not have a specific setting or settings in mind. This is a generalized topic that sporadically cites. So, it's difficult to get a focus from this overview.

It's here I want to stop and make an overall assessment with suggestions for this poem. It has great potential. For me, subject is important, as is painting mental pictures to illuminate a reader to visualize


Take some time and look up. (I like a call to action in a poem)
Amaze at the beauty and majesty. (what am I looking at, though I know the title?)
Let the scent fill you up. (could you described scent? pine? any flowers? smells encroaching?)
Lilting wind that whispers through leaves. (I guess wind lilts, but its not visual. The things that lilt from the wind are a better way to express visually)('wind whispers through leaves' would be a beautiful, direct way to describe in that line, leaving out lilting.)
Tiny leaves of gorgeous green ('leaves' repetition. also a place to attribute 'lilting' somehow. You could express the type or shapes of these leaves. Obvious that 'green' denotes full foliage before fall, so summer. Nice.)
Revel in the peace they bring. (this is nice, another call and 'peace' makes it soothing)
Enjoy the forests in which they live. (I would have mentioned forests as setting sooner than this.)
Enable their continuity. (here is another call, and one that I think needs better definition for a reader. What can we do to 'enable their continuity'. Is there a better what to express showing respect for nature, as with trees?)
Stay a part of their world. (Poem ends on two fragments that I feel are connected. Sometimes, it's difficult for a reader to decide how you intend to display. punctuation can help, if they are linked.)


I tried to cram a lot of thoughts with my reactions to your favorable poem. It is quite worthy and one that many readers will/or do appreciate. I see a raw gem that could use just a few tweaks to help a reader visualize while stimulated by your very capable commentary.

I hope my long-winded review isn't too much to take in. I tend to ramble, figure out what I'm reading as I review. Your poem here was very stimulating and good to know. I like to dissect and see where a poet derives these words with associations to share with an audience. It was a pleasure to discover and relate my feedback.

Brian

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Review of Released  
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Leger~ ,

This brief poem about a rejection by replacement got my attention and wanted to lend some feedback. "Released sets up with what sounds like a termination, one which the narrator has described 'no remorse' after stating 'with painful regret', which gave me pause. The second stanza furthers this departure of being replaced, but does not describe by whom or how. This poem is entrenched in feelings of a very difficult/embarrassing moment. I'm still seeing someone removed from their job.

Then, there is the last verse that now uses a metaphor to describe being tethered to something like a fish (or a boat) that was caught and released. That was a very effectual relationship to depict what is being described. But, I have to put this all together as a reader to get a better appreciation of what the author intends. And, when I look at the description line, love is what should be applied.

But, I wonder, could there have been a better way to structure and/or reveal this? Perhaps, starting with that metaphor, without losing the related feelings of being released from this relationship, to frame what the writer intends in a way a reader can fully visualize and feel along the way.

I stumbled on those first two lines of the poem, without punctuation, before I could get the right attribution of words to actions. At first, feeling the narrator was the one without remorse, until I could see the attribution is to this undescribed person who's only action was 'inform'. I don't get a feel for how this all unfolds, and that might not be necessary. It's a relation of this common feeling we get when we discover another has ended our relationship, and because they found someone else.

So, it's interesting that while away they've been usurped, but when they return they are untethered? How long away? Maybe, not necessary to know. The tether would be the emotional connection. So, I have to appreciate the figurative depiction with the language, realize that the metaphor of the mooring and the actual relation of the story conflict only in concrete terms.

I'm going way to deep with my analysis of this, sorry. I sometimes just start typing while I'm thinking and then I feel like a detective trying to piece clues together. Gets a bit tedious and then I have to stop myself, as I've done here.

The point of this review is to say, I fully connected with those emotions displayed. I also appreciated the metaphoric ending. It felt like two poems in one that are related but not working fully together. One of the best lines was 'usurped my pedestal', because it feels like this person jilted is stunned far greater by the impact, like a longer fall from that pedestal, one where they had been treated like a queen, and now oustered. That's a pivotal moment in the poem.

I decided, rather than try to suggest changes (which I'm prone to do *Rolleyes*, I can appreciate this poem as it is. Because there is so much at work within this tiny little gem that I have a tendency to fuss over where I see a chance for improvement. It's like seeing a thread I want to pull. I realize now, when I do that, if I start to unravel, maybe it's better just to leave it. *Laugh*

This was going to be a shorter review, too. Now I'm running late for work. I guess that means I really enjoyed considering your poem for feedback,

Brian

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Review of October Revels  
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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October Revels  (13+)
October's fun and frolics and the magic of Halloween.
#759988 by Brenpoet


Dear Brenpoet ,

This was a fun traditional rhyming poem about Halloween. "October spreads her golden haze" was such a nice introduction to the poem and set the mood, as this is sentimental or nostalgic about the season that we anticipate each year.

Your poem goes into the accounting of all the visions and events to behold, some of it the folklore about the holiday. The poem definitely has the family theme and feel that makes it a wonderful recitation associated with a children's event or activity. Or even, as material for an illustrated book.

The stanzas flip ghosts to witches and goblins before the visions of carved pumpkins alit greeting the trick-or-treaters. It has the mood and scenes with this finely attuned meter and rhyme to make for a charming poem. We get to the end, and probably the sweetest part, which in part felt the most nostalgic -- the activities.

And, indeed a magic time of year! There is so many visual words with concrete images for a reader to consume and visualize for themselves. It was a pleasure to read and consider this poem for feedback,

Brian

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Review of Terror in White  
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Dear Diane ,

First person account from a ghost? Did Anne Rice write a sequel to Interview With A Vampire? *Bigsmile*

I believe a poetic form used here that rhymes the first two lines with the final and fifth line is a pantoum? Just recently getting acquainted with that again. The poem flowed smoothly for the most part. "Terror in White seemed tongue-in-cheek, if not satirical.

It's a ghost with an attitude, but about what I do not know. It knows that people spread rumors about the former life of this entity, some death and mutilations. But, nothing concrete. We cannot conceive of why this ghost haunts, likes to scream to scare people. The scream's the thing, isn't it?

I appreciated the poem. I thought it was witty and perhaps shows the poet tired of the outside world trying to perceive why a ghost behaves the way it does. However, it didn't give me much insight, except to believe a writer tried to conceive it.

Brian

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12
12
Review of The Ghost Child  
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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The ghost metaphor was functioning for the most part for me in this poem "The Ghost Child. I can see a boy who is haunted by something, but I can only assume it is about how to fit in with others. He's dirty, wears hand-me-downs, but the doting narrator, who can only assume is his teacher, can show him affection with a hug and admiration. By the end of the poem he feels safe in the company of this 'room'...a classroom.

The poet seems to be retelling an experience with a child with that innervision to assess a situation where one student doesn't fit in. There were some really stellar moments in this poem, but the one that grabbed me the most was, "Hugging him was like holding a rabbit in your arms/Sitting quietly, patiently, waiting for a chance to run." How powerful!

I could imagine this child like a wild animal, who doesn't bath or take care of himself. Perhaps, a professional could assess what this all means, beyond poverty. Perhaps, someone who is odd and does not conform to the norm, who does not know how it is he can't be accepted. But this rabbit metaphor just perfectly described it. A rabbit can be trusting, but it needs to be a wild animal. It does not expect to be rejected for being itself.

Another line that struck me:

"He was a ghost and could not be seen."

It's simple and direct and so very relatable. I think when someone has an odd approach to the world, usually finds it hard to be noticed, hard to share and make friends. It's unfortunate, because we have failed to teach other children respect for others who seem odd. We can treat the disabled with understanding because we can usually see their disability. A mental inability is not as easily diagnosed or understood. If we are told to be nice, we can say the right things. But that bias about what we see as their ignorance, or failure to adapt, usually draws ire and criticism. I can especially relate to not being noticed.

There is so much more at work here, and imagine the ending could be like bringing this child back to life, back from the dead. His life was hollow and empty until he could trust and behave without judgment in this classroom.

It was a sweet poem, yet raw and awkward. It could use some editing as a free verse point to highlight the most important words and leave the baggage of filler words to precisely make its points/case. It is a very worthy poem and one that caught my eye.

It was a pleasure to read this poem and to offer commentary upon it,

Brian

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Review of Ghost Hollow  
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Dear Kings,

This narrative poem "Ghost Hollow with its storytelling aspect was a sight to behold with the tail of a headless man appearing on the tracks one night. It was set up so well with the introduction about this story being relayed to the poet by an event told by 'my honest father'. Cleverly done.

What's done well is to use a traditional rhyme, set up the story to introduce the narrator as the storyteller and then process with revealing a hair-raising adventure. It is akin to stories passed down by men who spent much time at sea, relaying legends of the deep. But, here, we've turned to the horror genre to tell the tale of what appears to be a headless ghost.

This set up is nicely set up for the reveal:
"So they walked down the tracks late one night.
Grandpa and Father walked in the moons light.
As they walked along things seemed all right.
Then beside my Grandpa walked a morbid sight."

The prelude as it were to the next few lines was not necessarily scary but eerie and a little bit humorous, a tone that was set up early on by the author: "This man walking beside him had to be dead. Grandpa looked at him and he had no head." In fact, when I think of a ghost without a head I'm reminded of how we use the expression to use our head. It's like the ghost was likely harmless because he could not see where he was going. Like we do know about spirits, they seem to repeat the old habits.

What I think we've missed in this poem is the assumption that this ghost person was hit by a train and had his head clean severed off. What could be further assumed, is this ghost walks the tracks each night looking for his lost head. At least, in ghost tales I've heard before, that's what they do. They are not necessarily a threat, but just walking through.

What also gave me a giggle was the lines about the reaction realizing that they were going stride for stride down those railroad tracks. "So the three of them walked without talking. Afraid of this man with whom they're walking." I can imagine the two exchanging glances, shared fear, not wanting to talk for fear they'd disturb this entity. It's a clever little visual with emotion for a reader to connect with.

The poem ends summarizing the departure of the ghost heading down to "Ghost Hollow". For a reader, it's not understood why they would walk through this area, except that it is a tale they tell and hand down. Kind of like a campfire story. I think that it needed more exposition to wonder about that experience. Lines like 'some say the ghost was...' I also assume this experience was by young men daring to walk through a scary area, like some right of passage.

However it wraps up, it was a neat poem that fits in that particular storytelling genre, adding the traditional rhyming poetry stryle for flair. It was a pleasure to read and consider this poem for feedback.

Brian

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14
14
Review of left behind  
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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 left behind  (13+)
there i was... trembling when you said goodbye... remembering you...
#953073 by cloud_nomad

         
         *Pumpkin2*          *Witch*           *Leaf2Br*          *Ghost*          *Monster6*          *Pumpkin*

I review emotional poetry because it is in my wheelhouse as a writer and have learned over the years that writing this fare can be cathartic for the writer, but not always translatable to a reader. The goal of writing seems to be to find equal ground with others who can commiserate, relate on some level. Here I find a poem that is striving to accomplish that.

What I found at the outset and throughout is the use of the ellipses (...) with so many incomplete thoughts, and I wondered...I wondered if you are meaning to trail off in every line and not complete the sentences to get to those meanings. In a way, it can be effective. Overuse could cause a reader to tune out. I show:

there i was...
trembling when you said goodbye...
remembering you...
i lay shattered...
trapped in an endless shade of gray...
haunted by tears of emptiness...
i was shivering...
the cold air of loneliness embracing me...
longing for the warmth of your presence...

I connected the three verses, but it does continue until the final two lines of summation. I think overuse here was not as effective because the writer still needs control of the narrative, to take that subject that is emoting and help the main character focus enough to fully reveal this message without the interruption of so many ellipses.

And when I consider these lines, they don't need the dot, dot, dot at the end. The poet has fully stated feelings. I would just eliminate this type of punctuation with the only question remaining, what punctuation, if any, to finish those thoughts? Because, the line breaks are effective enough for a pause.

Just think. If these were full sentences, they would plot across that line like a horizon you must scan across the page. The shorter the line, the faster the read. If a poet wants a longer break, you can indent on the next line, or even leave a blank line between lines. These types of poems don't have to read with verses, either. The stanzas are usually created by completed thoughts within the overall message of one's poem. Sometimes, there is no breaks between lines until the end.

It's free verse poetry, so you can arrange the words any way you feel your monologue would play out.

This narrative is in fact a monologue and it relies on some imagery. That helps the reader connect to the voice and the expression of these feelings connected to events. I will not speak to content, as I see an opportunity to consider how you display your text to draw in a reader and to go from there. I will say that concrete language works best, especially words that can convey feelings.

Words like: trembling, goodbye, shattered, endless, gray, tears, shivering, cold, embracing, warmth, presence, haunting, numb...all words you used in your poem that with a little tightening between to focus on those feelings, and less of the personal pronouns, you draw in the reader to connect and relate.

The poem was written for its master to cherish. You can always keep the original, tuck it in your desk drawer to look at again one day.

In the meantime, if the poet/writer wants to convey and share with an audience, consider what keeps a listener connected to what you say. Be a storyteller that draws them in; use an economy of the best words that still describe what you intend. Consider editing out filler words and focus on the hot/key words connected to your moments and flush them out with a few other words that can still shine and show a reader the true heart, this raw gem you've constructed.

It was a pleasure to read and consider this poem for feedback,

Brian

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Review of My Allie Cat  
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Dear Susie, the LV Transplant ,

I enjoyed the imagery, rhythm and flow of this narrative poem "My Allie Cat about a sweet child who is adored by the poet grandmother to write and share this poem.

There are little scenarios and idiosyncrasies with descriptions of the child and their behavior to impress and receive approval from a doting reader. Essentially, what I see playing out here is a confident child full of innocence and so much upside to a life ahead.

The poem starts out with this description by doting grandma, that shows without a doubt a bias to overexpress the beauty of this child. It comes across well from nickname to hairstyle and how they seal those letters with a kiss and just five years old and good rapport with teacher, and a leader among peers.

The second half of the poem gave me wonder, because she lives among autistic children, but is not described as one. Is this left out for a reason? She is a peer grouper, so perhaps, she's the head of that class. Though, this poet grandma chooses to overlook that a bit. I'm not sure how autistic children all wind up in a class together, unless there just happens to be that many that there is a group in their class?

The line 'worlds of glass' made me wonder about the biblical 'those who live in glass houses'. I could be off, but that didn't seem to fit. It wasn't explained, so I have to omit it from my thoughts. I could use further exposition.

Overall, the poem was a joy to consider and offer feedback on.

Brian

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16
16
Review of Rosey Cheeks  
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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The review is of:

 Rosey Cheeks  (13+)
The innocence a young boy has while still learning his way in life.
#949289 by Natalie


This is simply a poem that cherishes the child and innocence while worrying when will it all change, and can they be protected from a world that seeks to corrupt him. The latter part is not really the main focus of this poem, but the poet's after thought. It made me wonder if the writer was open to shaking this poem up a little bit to give it a better hook to grab a reader.

We've all heard 'rosy cheeks' and eyes the color of a blue ocean. I feel it can all still be stated in your poem, but these depictions from the outset might lose interest from some parts of your audience that's heard it all before -- pretty much expressed the same way. Further down in the poem, at the heart of this critter, there is something you could pull out and throw up at the top, if you were to do a re-write.

"His pain we just kiss away."

In just a few words, the poem shows and expresses it's theme, this teetering point from a child that is happy-go-lucky to one that could one day feel the weight of the world. Just throwing a line out there with no explanation gets a reader's interest. They want to know more, and that is when you follow up. It's as if you've written a paper with a topic sentence and provided evidence to support it...that's when you describe and then wonder about the future.

Why not start on that edge and reflect on how they get hurt and we (the parents) are there to protect them, and then go on to describe the child and how resilient when young and how innocent, not knowing that parents bear the burden of worry for them until they are old enough to carry some of that load themselves.

Just something I thought of when I saw this, which is sweet and very likeable by many who will read.

Brian

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Review of The Fallen  
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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"The Fallen is a story about a person who is a victim, possibly observing another victim with its mysterious origins of emotions, lacking concrete imagery to give us more than a disembodied narrative. So many great expressions in this raw gem that I had to read several times over. I think there is a vibrant heart beating beneath a very emotional poem. I would like to show how your words could better reveal, like choosing the right cut for a diamond.

I focus first on the three lines that open your poem, and should serve as the setting and the hook to grab a reader. What grabbed me most is a toss up between lines two and three. The imagery and expression in those lines, with the right drafting, could really compel a reader and set the tone for a poem that aims to go deep and go for the heart clutch.

"I see him fading. Going, gone from light.
A snowflake and a teardrop, palm up they fall onto thee.
Melodies of old whisper harmonic tunes on the breeze and I dream."

There's a lot packed in those lines, and the rest of the poem skimps on line length. A freeverse poem all the way, it's how you bend it like Beckham that can really help pronounce what the poet here attempts to reveal. You need to bring these words home to goal. Let me suggest a different way to frame them, if I may be so bold:

"A snowflake and a teardrop --
palm up they fall on thee.

I see him fading.
Going, gone from light

Melodies of an old whisper
harmonic tunes on the breeze
and I dream."

I wouldn't go further with the editing than that. Dramatic pauses are needed. You have a visual open and the loss of a comrade, perhaps, one to compare. We can imagine what the whisper is to the narrator, something near to the heart, like something we might hold on to as well, if it were us...a war song, chant?

This rest of the poem tells...

"A love lost. A heartache found." This is where I couldn't be sure, if it's memory of a lost love or if the love was just lost in the telling here. When you add, 'I weep' I felt it was too early and thought that line could be stricken. Perhaps, if the poet held on to that emotion moments longer, like until poem's end, before the actual release, you could build the tension for what's left to reveal.

"In a daze, in your grasp, you laugh."

I didn't sense a third person, just the narrator and the fallen. Perhaps, we need a better introduction to what I assume is death. The best chance of doing this is to flip the two lines and put 'Your eyes of death and touch of ice' before 'in a daze...'

'You' and 'Your' feel so hated and spiteful by this one -- mourning but still bitter toward this one that is reaching out to take another life:

"I bleed.
Nothing to fear, nothing but pain. I long to rest.
I sleep.
I am the fallen."

So, here we had someone lost in the open. I had a feeling at first that this was the loss of a loved one. But, it feels like two on a battlefield, mortally wounded. The remaining life in the balance poetically utters these words, as if immortal. It feels like it could come to us from beyond the grave.

It was a pleasure to read and consider this poem for feedback,

Brian

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18
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Review of My Home  
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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This was an intriguing perspective for a narrative. I did not read the description line before launching into this poem. Without the key at the masthead of this piece, I would not have gathered this POV. A second read through might reveal some of the clues I missed along the way.

The first clue is waiting in that first stanza with this person from Look Who's Talking narrating what they envision, "I lay with my eyes wide open/waiting for the ones/who would take me home." Nice start to reveal. Not enough yet. They are making eye contact and there's expressions that would suggest they are meeting for the first time before, "I kept reaching for her. She kept stepping back."

Slowly, there is this realization that after birth, some mothers do not form an attachment to their baby but go into post partem, some very severe as what I can assume is being described here. But, this does not fully set up like that. It's almost like being rejected through an adoption agency. Though, it could be a poor, struggling couple who abandon their baby.

Either way, this sets up well with depictions illustrating a scenario with emotions from the baby's perceptive perspective. It makes me think of creative ways planned parenthood or some organization my illustrate the need for parents to stay the course after the birth of a child. I cannot assume too much about this.

What I can say is that this assumes too much from that baby perspective, that doesn't fully illustrate the intent of this narrative that would suggest the infant's actions to perceive rejection without some kind of parable forming. It's a tricky narrative where the poet wants to plant the voice to project from that child to speak not only to the parent characters in the poem, but to the reader.

The ending especially was darkly too progressive of a reaction for the new born.

"There they were no more
As light faded from my eyes,
As hope fled before my eyes,
As I lost the home
I had been yearning for."

The child could not yearn, though it could starve, which I think would be the correct approach for an ending. It's also vague what we are to expect from this scenario. It's highly emotive but does not rely on concreteness when addressing the consequences of these final moments in the poem. I think a reader would like a better understanding of what we are to infer from this.

I think the poet did well to come up with a unique perspective to voice this poem. I think with some focus on what is to be conveyed, it could emphatically impress a reader about its intended message.

Brian

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Review of Tears  
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Dear Poetry Ghost ,

Here we have a poem full of self-doubt and emotion that eventually leads this narrator to admit they give up. "Tears is pretty straightforward except that it does use some metaphors that appear more like cliché expressions or images that just don't tie together as theme. I had to suss this poem out to see what informs it and what could make it capture an audience to keep readers riveted to the words chosen to describe these feelings.

I would suggest fewer 'ing' words to give them more importance and impact and delete excess words like 'the' and even 'i' in some places. We know from this narrative that it is spoken by one person. Why use attribution at all? Let's see how it changes in that respect?

don't cry (it's a directive now)
Not anymore
awake in agony
feelings fill me
Suffocate, drown
Release never comes
heart pounding
hard and fast
Lungs tight lead
endless
stream of failures
a constant reel plays
in my head
can't release
can't let go
Can't let worries fall
from these eyes
Instead, internally
deep they go
Turn me to ice.



As constructed, there are more direct statements, as you would want to include the reader in this narrative. The reader wants to feel something other than a person talking to themselves aloud.

Also wonder if a reorder of those words would help set scene and help these feelings progress naturally. Also, a verb like turn to ice is ordinary. Would there be a more fitting way to express?


endless stream of failures
a constant reel inside my head
plays
can't release, let go
awake in agony
feelings fill
suffocate, drown

release never comes
heart pounding
hard and fast
lungs tight lead
worries fall from these eyes

don't cry
not anymore

But instead,
internally
feelings fill
deep they go
Turn me to ice.


A few line breaks, different play on words and unstructured stanzas as with free verse, and everything building to that declaration to stop crying. But, the feelings keep filling this soul that eventually turns to ice.

This poem could use your special touch to really emote and give it the true direction it deserves. Perhaps, the way I've reconstructed it not who you would envision. It is one way to look at it to make your expressions and narrative more action, direction.

You have all the correct expressions here. I say, go deeper and find metaphorical relationships and stronger symbolism to fully bring this poem a fuller life.

It was a pleasure to read and comment

Brian

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Review of The Photograph  
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Dear Choconut ,

I'm about to overanalyze your interesting poem that has me caught in my own reflections and relationship to my mother and to myself that empower me during troubling times.

You know, when I got to the end of this poem I had an eerie feeling that the she in this poem is not the mother of the narrator, and I am torn at this reviewing thinking which/what the narrator/voice in this poem intends to be. I say the anthem in "The Photograph is to be strong for oneself. If it is about being there for another, being strong for someone who has seen life affect their child in a way that diminishes the mother, too. But the mother and daughter, in a way, could be the same voice. I'm stuck on 'she'.

This was very deep, emotional and reflective on a life and how it changed from such joy and pleasure to observance of loneliness and depression. It marks a few sign posts in the journey, particularly with the one this one was observed at the start of a marriage. This marriage could also factor in either scenario. And what we are dealing with in your poem is snapshots or observations through a mirror of the toll that time took on oneself. There is such a call for resilience at the end, following what I assume is a distancing from oneself, the former self that was in decay.

Well, that is the way that I would look at this. It feels uniquely narrated and designed to be reflective. The image that is mirrored to the narrator is shared obliquely with the reader, and this viewer who got a particular feeling of how this translates. It works on several levels this way. Someone who wants to see it as a mother's strife seeing their child-turned-adult struggle is one way. I see this voice deep in reflection contemplating through a photo album at a crossroads a new direction for life.

The flaw in my argument can come from the introduction to this poem:
I tremble with sorrow
as she gazes into my
fragile reflections.
My frayed, old image
hugs her sagging shoulders,
Comforting her in her
Grief.


This is why I struggle. I can take this open literally. Though, I make a case for expressively, when you say 'she gazes into my fragile reflections.' Is there another part of this person who is emerging with the strength to lend to that person, who 'hugs her sagging shoulders'? I may have gone too deep with my observations. I could read through several more times, wipe out this entire review, feeling I have to start from scratch. I use initial impressions and look for evidence that supports my theory. I don't like to dig too deep and reflect on breaking it down.

Even when I read:

When they were first married,
and I was born into their lives,


I can make a case for this person finding themselves born anew as a wife, in a relationship; perhaps, the turning point away from true self and/or early happiness. See what I mean about overanalyzing and making a case for rather than against this logic?

There might be a third camp on this poem's perspective: that it is intended to be both about a mother's love/concern while it reflects on the strength drawn from mother that we give to ourselves. I'm often reminded that I cope by remembering what I was taught to get through troubled times. That would be really complex, but an effective way to put all these thoughts and voices together. A little time travel, body-swapping poetry?

It was fun to read and consider this poetic offering for feedback. You know, these long reviews of mine must seem a bother to some who feel obligated to peruse all the way through. People have enough reading to do. I might have to consider in the future introducing brevity into these rambling, unedited reviews (my eyes too bleary to reread further),

Brian

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21
21
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
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Dear dmack ,

Here I discover a poem "The Thinker at the Crossroads that is distinctly constructed on a setting with a person who is being witnessed witnessing the world go by. It's a study of human behavior for those around this person on the bench but a study of him and what he takes from all that he has seen. In the end, we learn behavior does not change and is not altered by witnessing. In a sense, this could be just irony of how things are. Our world gives us too much information, or we don't know what to do with it, or we are creatures of habit and that assessing what others do might inform, it doesn't compel use to act any differently.

I felt the changing of the who, why and where of it all changing from verse to verse tiring. I can appreciate the construct, but not the plodding way it all turned out. It is very basic and borders banal. It paints a picture of loneliness within a dull world with no hope of ever changing. I had hoped by the final verse this character would break the mold. But, even if he had, I could not imagine it being any more compelling.

This person witnesses actions and wonders about the people acting but doesn't interact within that environment. And, the title of the poem implies concretely that he is at a 'crossroads', which has so many thematic implications, that it's like Chekov's gun theory: if it is introduced in the first act, it must go off in the second act.

The narration does little to describe, except give us a vision of a person on a bench watching people before leaving. This whole poem could be summarized in a few lines. Poetic devices, however, could add flavor to this, give a fuller feeling. A reader could find a way to connect if the setting is a park bench in fall by a pond with ducks. It could be a person waiting on a city street outside a transit system, or a person at the zoo watching families with their children. It could imply things that readers can infer. We can ask why do they sit alone there. We might imagine what they are seeing if a few actions or descriptions of people and environment are added. You could still chug along with the three w's employed within all of that.

So, that is more of what I look for in a poem to give it flavor to consume. Otherwise, it feels hollow. And one could make an argument for that, if you are into sad impressions of a dull reality. I did find the structure strong and worthy of more ingredients for a reader to enjoy when they taste.

Brian

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22
22
Review of Pain  
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Dear Jasna ,

This is an anthem of pain is not unlike the response when a person is in a co-dependent relationship that ends. The expressions are deeply emotional and personal and relatable. You use imagery to set the mood of these feelings, but lose me when it appears its a high school romance that has ended. When you through around words akin to commitment, teens should all be taught that high school relationships are not meant to last. In fact, its part of your education called life.

That is not meant to sound like judging but relating how this poem affects a reader who consumes these thoughts, suggested actions. The 'how could you' narrative seems to contain an answer from the silent one who ended it when it's revealed:

Pain when he said "Take care"
instead of "I care".

When another is not committed to a relationship and wishes to distance themselves, and when I read the response about the breakup, it appears too much drama might have been the reason and the answer.

When I read the opening to this poem I was expecting it to go in another direction. There is an intensity being described (I always skip right past the description line. A poem should need no introduction to serve as summary):

Hot, intense,
stronger than a morning coffee
drunk quickly between red
and green light,


This could take a writer anywhere. But it follows about pain and indifference from someone described as 'friend'. Another clue why this person seems distant:

pain is always with me
my shadow
stocker
wolf


very expressive and uniquely, but describing one that cannot break the cycle of this pattern of pain in their life. In fact, self-inflicting. Perhaps, reading too much in the indifference as if the person they are involved with should return feelings with the same intensity. That's a remedy for a nuclear storm. Every person who is this crazy about another, should be paired with someone sane and calm enough to override the drama. However, people who self-destruct and self-inflict seldom find calm or happiness unless they can feel spurned eternally. This is rooted in something much deeper than the aspects of this poem revealed.

There is much here to discover in a thinly disguised and free verse styled poem strung out from scene to experience and final fall out. Those ending lines that list with a repetitive style at first show flashes of images like a German art film that give you feels about and then make you wonder why they've sprayed these word symbols across the screen.

Later, the final list is less concrete and connected to feelings. It's a big 'I want' list that is very demanding. Any the narrative feels deserved of these things for the loyalty they have shown to another who was not as invested or looking at playing it cool rather than intensely hot.

So much to experience and wonder about in this raw and vibrant poem that is very frank and revealing. It was a pleasure to consume and consider for feedback. I would quibble about the style and punctuation in a few places. But, the main draw to this is about the psychology and expressions drawn from it. This poem was cathartic and wild and just a tip of what the writer dreams or could reveal with further poetic/prose offerings.

Brian
Image #2059534 over display limit. -?-





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23
23
Review of dfgg  
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (1.0)
Shared image
*Jackolantern2* I am reviewing in the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" " Ghostly Hallows Raid."

So this is all I have to do to review an item on this website? Here's the thing with "dfgg. I see a review for this and I wonder what incentives we have to review something like this and what would compel us to respond to something shared by someone who has not been on the website in 10 years?


One reviewer wrote, 'What in the world? Um....... I am insure on why you did this but not saying it is not creative!!!!!!! How would you like if I gave you..... a FIVE STAR RATING!!!!!!! Well... That is what I will do Okay? You did great! Though it is gibberish it is very creative nonetheless! Stay safe. I wish you will live a happy, safe, and a fulfilling, and long life! Stay safe during this current COVID-19 pandemic that the world has and is currently being plaques by. I won't waste your time any more! Next time though, please right more than just gibberesh, so people can understand it! It is funny though!'

Of course, it rates a one or lower. And the person who shared this item was probably just testing out the site, or bored. Make public:
sfadijsadiofjsadoifjsadlfkjasdlkfsajdfjsdafalsdjfsadjlf
and you could tell someone was working primarily from the middle of the keyboard left to right.

There's no:

qtyuiopuytrqwertyupoiytrewqwertyui
And there's no:
zxcvbnmxcvbnmcvbnmnbcxxcvbnmbvcxz

And definitely no:
12345678909765432345678
because that would be insanity!
With caps lock, no less:

`1234567890-

Well, that didn't do anything. I have to hold down the caps key to get:
~!@#$$%%^^&&***(((()_(*&^%$@
Now that's more like it. So, that's what I have to say in review on an item I looked in on in the review boards to see it was just a bunch of:
adfghjklkjhgfdsfhjklkgdsadghjk

signed,

#%^
$RUVJHFD^%%)P(*IBJGD^Y$OKlbute6echj

Image #2059534 over display limit. -?-
*Jackolantern2* I am reviewing in the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" " Ghostly Hallows Raid."

Sorry, I'm affiliating this review with my own account. It's commentary that most people won't take the time to get.

















*Peace*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
Review of Little Bird  
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Shared image
*Jackolantern2* I am reviewing in the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" "Ghostly Hallows Raid."

Your poem "Little Bird about the courage of a sparrow braving winter casts a stark image of how they combat the elements in this haiku offering.

For this poem that focuses on the very short form, I focus on one word, 'huddles'. I want to make a case for this word, even if to suggest it was used by the poet expressively. Let's look at the definition first:

verb
crowd together; nestle closely. "they huddled together for warmth"
Similar words: crow, gather, throng, flock, herd, bunch, cluster, collect, group, congregate, pack, squeeze, cram, jam

This definition is why it raised a doubt for me. I think of that poem that was written for the statue of liberty with the line, 'give us your...huddled masses'. That means the word used implies a group together, but in the offered poem here we have one tiny little bird against the elements.

When I imagine this bird being its own huddle, it scrunches up so that its tuffs of chest feathers puff out and it might tightly wrap its wings and frame to aerodynamically allow those stiff breezes to pass around. I guess, huddles doesn't best express this. What word would? I won't speculate just yet.

What I would say, is that a restructuring of the poem with emphasis on 'defenseless' with that leafless twig might be another way to go, to show this brave little bird fighting the elements. We add a new introduction to eliminate 'cold' and 'tiny', both are sort of a given. We want to show more and tell less, so...

wee sparrow shudders
defenseless on leafless limb
no birds to huddle with


The ending is direct and an observation of the situation by the narrator (mine). It serves as the wisdom in summation of the situation. It's not a far stretch to assume this bird that is cold could use other birds to fight the elements. I'm reminded that its likely this bird is taking a brief respite...

brief sparrow shudders
defenseless on a leafless limb
waiting to huddle


Just might be another way to go, and assumes more about the bird and its stopover before the poet's purview.

It's always fun to consider a haiku with several approaches because subjective truth can lie between the lines. How much do we know about the elements, except what the bird can demonstrate? I think this was fun to consider. We could even imagine ourselves in their place, as we are prone to do. We're smart. We are inside a house. Some birds outside my home are smart too, find the inside of my garage to spend a day.

In summation, let's build more bird houses, assuming they'll use them.

Brian

*Jackolantern2* I am reviewing in the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group "Ghostly Hallows Raid."

Image #2169587 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
Review of Limerick of Joe  
Review by brian k compton
In affiliation with Space Blog  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Well, up there is a constellation with what looks like a hunter with a bow. Stay tuned, Space Blog friends, it gets better:

 Limerick of Joe  (E)
Contest Entry, Limerick, Poetry, Rhyming
#457970 by BlueThunder


Limericks with the right rhyme and meter can almost flawlessly tell a story, you just need to plug in a few clever words and you've got something. As with this poem, you've got an old hunter who's carrying around a bow and you know that's trouble because he has body parts that rhyme with his weapon. That's just good fun. It's only his toe! *Laugh*

I like reading limericks like this. You don't have to think too much about the inspiration behind the story, because it's the telling of the story that leads to a great punchline summary that hits its mark. *Target2* So, good job with this one, which was written for a contest awhile back.

Just a final thought: I wasn't sure about the cold and snow and how that factored in. He tripped over a bale of hay. Was it under the snow? I guess we'll never know. and, that's how I roll. *Think*

*Laugh* It was fun to read and comment.

Brian
Too. Much. Fun.

Made by Lilli


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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