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2,806 Public Reviews Given
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Review Style
True algorithm ia in response from the reviewed. Honed craft over 17 years. I see the good, with an eye to potential. Will never be/play authority of someone else’s words. That’s left to the master of the work. The artist has the vision; I just react/review, illuminate a fuller perspective to overcome challenges faced with those words. I see responses my reviews as affirming. *has references*
 
To see how I review, my feedback is public. Reviews can be set up through email. This page is limiting. *Smile* I accept review credits if I deserve rank. I accept merit badges as recognition, to be earned not bought…my opinion. I buy to support friends to maintain my shadowed equivalency, not pad. I have low vision, ADHD. it’s tripped me up. I dust off, get back in the game.
I'm good at...
Poetry, psychoanalysis. Ideas and notions on publishing process. I encourage writers with my reviews, look for strengths and give direction on how to make something better. I continue to correspond those who approach, when more to offer. I see what drives, use experience and the overarching mind, connect where each individual’s art derives. Hope to opine where it could take them with their craft. Like to believe, sometimes, before the writer knows themself.
Favorite Genres
nature, love, psychological, spiritual, inspirational, epiphany, emotional, drama, human interest, science, conspiracy, dystopian, fatalistic, speculative. Not cookie cutter fantasy realms or choose your adventure. Action/adventure. Unique, surprise.
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, fan fiction, some fantasy and sci-fi, or anything Lord of the Rings/Game of Thrones-ish.
Favorite Item Types
poetry, short story, essay/opinion/blog
I will not review...
I’m happy receive an email to discuss first. I set this to receive 9k. WDC gets the rest. No page here I know of to collectively or categorically see, compare reviewers for hire. That might be a worthy tool.
Public Reviews
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51
51
Review of Farewell My Child  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary BScholl ,

I came to review your writing in acknowledgment of your 14th anniversary here. I couldn’t find anything new or updated in over a year, skimmed your IRA article before finding this short story.

"Farewell My Child" is a poignant exploration of the bittersweet emotions surrounding the departure of a child for college. The narrative unfolds with a reflective tone, allowing readers to connect with the universal experience of letting go. The story deftly captures the nuances of family dynamics, the impact of change, and the reassurance that love remains a steadfast companion.

The hook is emotionally resonant, immediately drawing one into the heart of the story. The opening paragraph, with the departure of Brittany for college, sets the stage for a narrative rich in introspection and the complexities of family relationships. The line, "After eighteen and a half years of being her daddy, all I felt was -- my heart breaking," encapsulates the emotional core of the piece, creating an empathetic connection with parents like myself who've faced a similar milestone.

The theme here revolves around the inevitability of change, the challenges of adjusting to an "empty nest," and the enduring nature of familial love. The story adeptly navigates the emotional landscape of the characters, delving into the mother's grief and the father's attempts at comfort. The theme is relatable, offering readers a mirror to their own experiences or those they anticipate.

The use of dialogue is a notable strength for this story, capturing the authenticity of familial interactions. The exchange between the husband and wife at Bill's Steakhouse provides a window into their emotional struggles, fears, and attempts to find solace. For example, the wife's line, "It’s just that she won’t be part of our daily lives. She won’t be our little girl. She won’t be Brittany. She’ll change," reflects the poignant realization of a parent grappling with the transformative nature of their child's departure.

The ending brings a heartwarming twist with Brittany's text message, introducing a sense of hope and continuity. This unexpected moment serves as a positive resolution, offering solace for the parents and reinforcing the idea that change can also bring new forms of connection. The line, "Farewell my child, you've grown up today," beautifully encapsulates the sentiment of letting go while cherishing the memories of childhood.

Suggestions for improvement:
1. Consider further exploration of the father's internal thoughts and emotions. Providing insight into his perspective during key moments could deepen the emotional impact and enhance the reader's connection with his character. I can tell you as a father, all kinds of scenarios play out…good and bad.

2. Utilize sensory details to evoke a more vivid setting. Enhancing descriptions of the restaurant, characters, and surroundings could contribute to a more immersive reading experience. For example, elaborating on the ambiance of Bill's Steakhouse or incorporating more visual details during key moments could enrich the storytelling. Sometimes, the setting triggers our subconscious thought, intermingles with those moments in ways we can’t separate from in memory.

3. Explore the theme of resilience and adaptation. While the story touches on the challenges of change, further emphasis on the characters' resilience and their journey toward adapting to the new phase of life could add layers to the narrative. Sometimes, it’s about what you can’t foresee, ultimately over-prepare for. A comparative I’ve had is either a vacation or camping trip, having supplies for every situation, yet we overpack and still omit the necessary.

In conclusion, as a father of a college dropout, "Farewell My Child" successfully captures the emotional complexities of a significant life transition for me. The story effectively balances introspection, dialogue, and a heartwarming resolution, providing readers with a relatable and moving narrative. In my case, this could have been a horror story ramp up, including the financial advisor (real) who got me into an annuity to hide my money to preserve his potential for federal funding/grant opportunities. My annuity is still worth the initial seed money. No longer enjoying that 10% annual bump. And a year of wasted college money. Worse, impact on my son who couldn’t tell me he was failing, out of fear. He was not ready. I image most think about the cost and value of college over what the investment will bring.

This story gave me plenty to recall and consider. Lots of planned money for college not being used now. If any of the 80k remaining wil ever be used by either kid…and what to do with this non-taxed money…dunno. At least I have a big annuity *Laugh**Cry* and a bunch of Roth’s for her and me, other investments, properties, her life insurance, her 401k that rivals all our savings, and cash on hand. My kid is working full-time, stays at home, earns 4% on the 30k he’s already saved…in 3 years time. He says he’s paying me back. *Laugh* So many things with this story reminding me, and I’m only thinking of money as parent. *Sad*

Your story was a trip down memory lane, and was happy to discover. Have a great WDC Account Birthday/Anniversary!

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!


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52
52
Review of Dancing Nowhere  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy WDC Anniversary Annie,

I find some items viewable in your portfolio and was drawn to this old poem. "Dancing Nowhere" delicately explores the poignant theme of memory loss and the profound impact it has on individuals and their loved ones. The opening lines, "Locked inside a changing mind / While others search for the key," immediately draw the reader into the emotional landscape of the poem. The metaphor of a changing mind as a locked space sets the tone for a reflective exploration of the challenges and losses associated with memory deterioration.

Stylistically, the poem adopts a contemplative and measured tone, mirroring the gradual and often disorienting process of memory loss. The simplicity of language contributes to the accessibility of the verses, allowing the emotional weight of the subject matter to resonate with readers. The short and concise lines create a sense of rhythmic flow, mirroring the passage of time and the incremental nature of memory decline.

The theme revolves around the impact of memory loss, specifically the gradual fading of sweet memories and the unsettling reality of becoming unrecognizable to one's own children. The imagery of memories disappearing "till there is nothing left but breath" paints a vivid picture of the diminishing essence of self. The repetition of the word "breath" reinforces the idea that even when memories fade, the essence of life persists until the very end.

The poem adopts a structured form, with each stanza contributing to the narrative arc. The gradual progression from the search for the key to the ultimate release, as God "turns the key and sets them free," follows a logical and emotional trajectory. This structure adds coherence to your poem and guides the reader through the poignant journey of memory loss.

Poetic devices, such as metaphor and personification, enrich the verses with layers of meaning. The mind being described as a changing space and the search for the key serve as powerful metaphors for the complexity and difficulty of addressing memory decline. The personification of God turning the key not only adds a spiritual dimension to the narrative but also conveys a sense of release and liberation from the struggles of a life "dancing nowhere."

While the poem effectively communicates the emotional weight of memory loss, incorporating specific examples or vivid anecdotes could have deepened the reader's connection to this valuable insight of the subject matter. For instance, getting further into particular memories that slip away or describing the impact on familial relationships might enhance the emotional resonance of the poem. It’s ripe with possibilities for more, or a new approach now that time has passed.

I have a connection to memory loss, preparing for the possibility. This poem drew me in and helped gain perspective. Hope to see you around again writing and submitting your poems.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer

Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
53
53
Review of Pajama Feet  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy WDC Anniversary DJ,

I discovered your writing here as a Writing.Com Account Anniversary reviewer. A fan of the written verses, I considered this poem because of its title for the following feedback:

"Pajama Feet" evokes a tender yet heart-wrenching narrative; it skillfully captures the innocence of a child's anticipation juxtaposed with the stark reality of loss. I found the style of your poem is straightforward, using concise language to convey a poignant story. The choice of short, simple phrases adds to the emotional impact, allowing this reader to connect with the rawness of the depicted moment.

The theme revolves around the fragile beauty of childhood joy and the abrupt confrontation with life's harshness. The initial scenes of a happy little boy, excited about Christmas and a promised toy, create a warm annd relatable atmosphere. The abrupt shift in tone, however, appears masterfully executed, as the revelation of the mother's passing shatters the festive illusion. This thematic duality creates a poignant contrast that can linger in the reader's emotions.

Formally, your offering adheres to a consistent rhyme scheme, contributing to its rhythmic flow. The repetition of the phrase "Pajama Feet" acts as a poignant refrain, emphasizing the innocence associated with the child. The use of vivid imagery, such as "glistening snow" and "twinkling bright lights," enhances the sensory experience, immersing those who might peruse with the festive setting before the heartbreaking revelation and turn of events, sometimes negating one of the happiest times of the year..

Poetic devices are employed herein with subtlety, allowing the narrative to brilliantly shine. The personification of the house, described as "stands silent," adds a haunting yet powerful quality to the scene, amplifying the emptiness felt by the child. The metaphorical use of the mother's passing, described as her heart ceasing to "play," adds depth to the emotional impact. It leaves one longing for that lost interaction and joy with her.

I tend to offer suggestions when I review, where I can. Something I thought: Consider exploring additional metaphorical elements or symbolic imagery to further enrich the layers of the poem. For instance, introducing symbols associated with hope or resilience could amplify the emotional journey of the young protagonist. An older poem, I’m sure you’re happy with it.

The conclusion of “Pajama Feet” leaves a lingering sense of sorrow and empathy for the young boy, which is emphasizing this fragility of life and the unexpected turns it can take…the unfairness of it for a child to experience. The juxtaposition of the child's innocent excitement with the harsh reality of loss is a powerful testament to the unpredictable nature of existence. Well worth considering.

A belated Account Anniversary. It was a pleasure considering your words and lending comment.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
54
54
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy WDC Anniversary Cynaemon ,

I was poking around your Writing.Com portfolio and wanted to send a review for your 20th anniversary here. This title caught my eye: “An Ode on Extinction", which unfolds as a poignant lamentation for the loss of nature's treasures, blending vivid imagery with a call to action. The poem's opening lines immediately immerse the reader in a vivid landscape, as the fire in the ancient forest becomes a powerful symbol of destruction. The use of the fire as a metaphor carries emotional weight, as it not only describes a physical event but also encapsulates the broader theme of environmental degradation.

Stylistically, the poem adopts a solemn and reflective tone, echoing the elegiac tradition of odes. The choice of an ode as a form aligns with the gravity of the subject matter, providing a structured framework for the expression of grief and urgency. The simplicity of language, particularly in phrases like "Waves crash on long-forgotten shores," contributes to the elegiac quality, allowing the reader to feel the weight of each line.

The theme centers around the irreversible loss of elements of nature, from the ancient forest to the long-forgotten shores. The poem explores the impact of human activities on the environment, emphasizing the consequences that extend beyond the physical realm to the metaphysical, as seen in the choking gods and silenced creatures of the deep. The use of repetition, such as "never be heard again" and "never be seen again," underscores the permanence of this loss, creating a sense of inevitability.

Poetic devices, such as personification, infuse the verses with a sense of empathy and interconnectedness. The wind, river, and voice of the voiceless become anthropomorphic conduits for conveying the sorrow of the natural world. The personification of the wind, for instance, as it sighs "through leafy treetops where my children sing," adds a layer of intimacy to the narrative, inviting the reader to empathize with the voiceless entities.

The plea "I am the voice of the voiceless ~ Hear my cry!" serves as a powerful climax, emphasizing the urgency of addressing environmental issues. The use of the exclamation mark underscores the impassioned call, urging readers to pay heed to the cries of nature. This direct appeal elevates the poem beyond a mere elegy, transforming it into a call to action.

While the poem effectively communicates its lament for the loss of nature, further exploration of specific examples or vivid descriptions could enhance the reader's emotional connection. For instance, expanding on the unique characteristics of the ancient forest or the long-forgotten shores could evoke a more immersive experience. Perhaps, for a future poem, as this has been on lock down here many years.

Well, a belated anniversary acknowledgment it is. I was happy to have this opportunity to acknowledge your work here with the help of anniversary group.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
55
55
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary BlueJay ,

I thought I’d stop by as a reviewer from the WDC Account Anniversary group. Upon discovering your writing, I came across this song parody and gave it a read-aloud listen.

"I'm Beginning To Get A Migraine Headache" presents a humorous and relatable twist on the classic Christmas song, offering a playful take on the challenges of daily life. The song parody you offer seems to skillfully maintain the structure and rhythm of the original while injecting a dose of everyday reality. The opening lines immediately set the tone, with title line, blending humor with a candid depiction of the speaker's hectic routine, creating a delightful juxtaposition.

Stylistically, your poem embraces a conversational and informal tone, aligning with the parody genre. The choice to use the structure of a well-known Christmas song adds an element of familiarity, allowing your readers to easily engage with the humorous adaptation. The rhyme scheme and rhythm mirror the original song, contributing to the playful cadence that underscores the comical aspects of the speaker's experiences.

The theme revolves around the chaotic nature of a typical day, highlighting the mundane challenges that often go unnoticed. Through the lens of that humor, the poem captures the universal struggles of balancing work, family, and daily responsibilities. The recurring motif of a migraine headache serves as a comical thread, weaving through each stanza and unifying the various scenarios into a cohesive and yet repetitive narrative.

The poem cleverly employs hyperbole, exaggerating the challenges faced by the speaker, such as the kid eating sticks or the cat choosing the den as the perfect spot for regurgitation. These exaggerated elements contribute to the humor and serve as a vehicle for the reader to empathize with the speaker's chaotic day in a lighthearted manner. Actually, my cats puke on the carpet a lot, too.

While yourvsong parody effectively communicates its humorous intent, a suggestion for further enhancement could involve expanding on specific details to create more vivid images. For example, you could look into expanding upon the unique aspects of the speaker's work or family life which could add layers to the humor. Additionally, incorporating more creative language or wordplay could elevate the comedic impact.

It was a unique pleasure to have found this among your writing. Eighteen years ago a newbie. Got me beat by one. Belated anniversary wishes,

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
56
56
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Dear intuey of House Lannister ,

This narrative appears to blend elements of supernatural occurrences with a focus on nature-based healing and a cautionary message about the consequences of straying from the natural order. The use of voices carried on the wind seems to involve a spiritual connection to nature rather than traditional religious practices. The story suggests a caution against misusing this connection, as seen with the negative outcome when the protagonist's mother deviates into darker practices, potentially resembling witchcraft. The narrative seems to explore themes of balance, the consequences of meddling with forces beyond one's understanding, and the importance of recognizing when to let go.

The narrative is generally cohesive, but there are a few areas where clarification could enhance reader understanding. For instance:

1. Transition between healing and the supernatural:
The transition from learning about natural healing methods to the supernatural element is somewhat abrupt. Adding a smoother transition or a gradual introduction to the protagonist's growing abilities might help readers connect the two aspects more seamlessly.

2. Explanation of the voices on the wind:
Providing more insight into the origin or nature of the voices on the wind could help readers better understand the supernatural elements in the story. This could involve exploring the protagonist's spiritual journey or her understanding of these voices.

3. Character motivations:
Clarifying the mother's motivations for deviating into darker practices and what led her to make questionable decisions would add depth to her character and help readers empathize or comprehend her actions.

4. Daddy's transformation:
The narrative could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the father's transformation. Describing the signs of his change and the emotional impact on the family could create a more vivid and immersive experience for the reader.

5. Resolution and aftermath:
The conclusion of the story is abrupt, and more details about the aftermath of the father's transformation and how the family copes with it would provide a more satisfying resolution.

Addressing these points could help bridge potential gaps and enhance the overall flow and coherence of the narrative, enabling readers to connect more deeply with the story's themes and characters. Understanding that a nuanced limited POV of the old woman can allow us to consider what to fill in. Though, it’s cautionary.

The narrative voice appears to be reliable, with the storytelling framed as a recollection by a 105-year-old named Lilly-Mae. The choice to narrate events with a childlike perspective might be a deliberate stylistic device aimed at conveying innocence or preserving the essence of the protagonist's earlier experiences. This technique can create a unique narrative flavor and allow the story to unfold through the eyes of a more naive, younger self.

The decision to tell the story could serve various purposes. It might be a form of reflection, a recounting of significant life events, or even be a cautionary tale. The notion of a death bed confession is a plausible interpretation, where Lilly-Mae, in her old age, reflects on a pivotal and possibly haunting episode from her past. This approach adds a layer of introspection and lends weight to the narrative, inviting readers to consider the consequences of the characters' actions and the broader themes explored in the story.

The narrative strongly implies that Daddy underwent a sinister transformation, potentially influenced by the mother's misguided attempts to prolong his life. The supernatural element, the change in Daddy's behavior, and the subsequent need to cleanse the room suggest a malevolent force took over him.

As for the absence of direct dialogue or attribution, it contributes to the narrative style but does leave room for interpretation. It's not actually stated whether the adult speaker was a party to any negligence or harm to their parent. The story focuses more on the consequences of the mother's actions and the family's response. The lack of detailed dialogue may intentionally leave certain aspects open to the reader's interpretation, allowing them to fill in some gaps with their imagination. This approach adds an air of mystery and invites readers to engage actively with the narrative.

I think this is how people are generally deceived. Letting readers assume information not provided by filling in the gaps where the reader is lead to help influence the drama, deceit into possible falsehood, for the purpose of employing flawed logic to dictate outcomes.

This is not religion or supernatural, because one cancels the other. This is a story that deflects from one’s own blame as a party to mistreating another. This is where reality and fiction intersect to fool the gullible. Even the speaker, if not deliberately misleading, is retelling lies of the mother to explain away how daddy met his demise. I chose to believe another hidden story at play that lead to his demise. It’s easy to get why some who step up to buy into the supernatural aspects of story, even if doubt and logic employed, because ‘what if’?

I look at the true purpose of telling this story. It’s entered as evidence. Not fact checked, not able to be investigated, it stands on its merit. The more the story goes around in circles, the more it is held as true. Daddy is dead, does not speak from the grave. Ultimately, a sensational story that seeks approval, or to delude from real truth. The story is a lie like those tales told in dark nights around campfire. What I could interpret.

This was intriguing and an interesting story with hidden subtext that could take any reader anywhere. It was a pleasure to consider for this feedback.


Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
57
57
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY from "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Happy WDC Anniversary, Bubble Grum,

I took the opportunity as WDC Account Anniversary Reviewer to check out offerings in your portfolio. I chose this poem for consideration. As I pried into "A CHALLENGE TO FATE," the poem unfolded as a poignant exploration of the human experience. The opening verses paint a vivid picture of a tormented soul grappling with the harsh winds of fate, emphasizing the toll that life's struggles have taken. The choice of words, such as "lost," "damaged," and "small and mean," sets a melancholic tone, effectively conveying the emotional weight carried by the protagonist.

Stylistically, the poem adopts a consistent rhyme scheme, lending a rhythmic quality that guides the reader through the emotional journey. The deliberate use of rhyme, like "keen" and "mean," adds musicality to the verses while underscoring the interconnectedness of life's challenges. The simplicity of language enhances accessibility, allowing the reader to empathize with the universal themes of despair and the quest for redemption. A theme I’m well versed in, knowing the struggle. Why I related.

Poetic devices used here, notably metaphors, played a crucial role in enriching the proffered imagery. The "rod forged from everlasting strife" symbolizes the punitive nature of existence, resonating with the overarching theme of facing adversity. The juxtaposition of contrasting elements, such as "hope and joy and love" against "pain, depression, doom, and dread," highlights the perpetual struggle between darkness and light. Has biblical parallels.

I try to offer writers whatever I can by way of improvement in these reviews. One Suggestion: Consider introducing more varied poetic devices, such as symbolism or allegory, to deepen the layers of meaning. For instance, weaving in symbols that represent hope or resilience could amplify the transformative journey depicted in the poem. This could bring more dimension and greater connection with other readers.

In the latter stanzas, a powerful shift occurs, steering the narrative towards a call for resilience and optimism. The imagery of facing demons and embracing a future "bright and fast" resonates with hope and renewal. The transition is well-executed, offering a ray of light amid the initial darkness, leaving the reader with a sense of empowerment. This lends to finality, summarily.

This review missed the cut off date. But I held it in cue and now share with you. A belated anniversary to you. A pleasure and thank you for sharing your words in community.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
58
58
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.



Hello Moarzjasac ,

I’m a reviewer for the WDC Account Anniversary committee, dropping by to pry into your written offerings. I was caught by the dreamy poem title here and wanted to lend response.

"The hush of falling snow" captures the serene beauty of a winter landscape with a delicate touch. The initial stanzas, adorned with imagery of "down soft new fallen snow," evoke a sensory experience, allowing readers to feel the softness and purity of the snowfall. The choice of language here not only describes the physical quality of the snow but also sets a tranquil tone for the reader.

The theme revolves around the transformative power of snow, both visually and acoustically. The poem explores how this "thick blanket" of snow becomes a silent force, muffling all sounds and creating a serene ambiance. The focus on "little children's footprints" beneath the even surface introduces a poignant element, suggesting the innocence and joy associated with snowfall, perhaps hinting at the transient nature of childhood.

The form of the poem reflects on the calm and ordered nature of a snow-covered landscape. The concise lines and straightforward structure mimic the simplicity of falling snow, creating a sense of kinship and unity. This form enhances the poem’s overall effect, allowing this reader to experience your offered words in a way that mirrors the unhurried descent of snowflakes.

Poetic devices, such as alliteration in "smooth cover" and "little children's footprints," contribute to the musicality of the verses. The repetition of the 's' sound mimics the softness of snow, creating a subtle, melodic quality. Additionally, the use of personification in "the hush of falling snow" endows the snowfall with a sense of human quality, or more, as if it actively has the ability to bring about silence, or ‘hush’..

While the simplicity of the poem is its strength, considering the exploration of additional sensory details could enhance the reader's engagement with this piece. Expanding on the visual aspects of the snowfall or diving deeper into the emotional impact upon the observer could deepen the poem's resonance, create a connection with those who relate to this experience, want the words to transform and transcend this experience. For example, incorporating the play of moonlight on the snow or exploring the speaker's emotional response to the quietness might provide more layers to the narrative. Just as blanket is employed, snowfall might seem like a wall that shuts out sound.

This was a great poem to consider with its dreamy, nature-romantic play. Thanks and hope to visit again.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
59
59
Review of Finding  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Happy WDC Account Anniversary Maria,

It was a pleasure to review your writing and consider this piece for feedback, with acknowledgement of your upcoming 17th anniversary on Writing.Com. "Finding" for me unfolded as a poignant journey of self-discovery and empowerment, which is encapsulated within the brevity of its verses. The poem's introspective tone is immediately striking, inviting this reader to explore the nuanced layers of the speaker's personal evolution. The simplicity of the language contrasts with the depth of these emotions conveyed, on display, creating a resonant narrative.

Stylistically, your poem employs concise lines and a straightforward structure, mirroring the clarity that comes with this one’s self-realization. The use of enjambment in "To have found the woman / among the remains of the girl" propels the reader seamlessly from one thought to the next, emphasizing the interconnectedness of these profound discoveries. This stylistic choice contributes to the overall flow, allowing your readership to navigate the speaker's transformative moments with ease.

The theme revolves around the process of self-discovery and the empowerment that stems from embracing one's true identity. The metaphorical progression from "the blob of me" to "the woman / among the remains of the girl" conveys a powerful and visual narrative of personal growth. The poem suggests that this journey is not linear but shaped by time, relationships, and internal strength. The invocation of various elements such as "compassionate friends," "a patient and forgiving man," and "fate" or "God" adds a spiritual dimension to the exploration of evolving selfhood.

The poem here effectively employs repetition within its lines to emphasize the gradual nature of this transformation. The refrain "It took..." serves as a rhythmic anchor, underlining the multifaceted aspects and contributors to the speaker's evolution. The repetition creates a sense of accumulation, an inventory, reinforcing the idea that strength, friendship, love, and fate are all integral components of the journey.

The use of metaphorical imagery, particularly being "enchanted by the Morning Sun," serves as a powerful and visual conclusion to the poem. The morning sun often symbolizes renewal and hope, suggesting that the speaker's self-discovery has brought about a new dawn in their life. It’s a realization, too. This choice of imagery adds a positive and uplifting note to the culmination of the speaker’s journey. Readers should find it affirming.

While the poem effectively communicates its themes, incorporating specific examples or vivid anecdotes could enhance the reader's connection to the speaker's experiences. Delving deeper into the impact of compassionate friends or illustrating the patient and forgiving moments with the man could provide more emotional resonance.

Overall, it was a pleasure to have considered this write for review.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
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Review of Cheers  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)

~~~ A WDC Newbie Review ~~~

Hello AJblurryface ~

Your poem "Cheers" plunges into those raw emotions of heartbreak, capturing the desolation of shattered love and the desperate attempt to drown the pain. This style you’ve employed is strikingly candid, utilizing a conversational tone that allows the reader to feel the intensity of the speaker's emotions. The brevity of the lines and direct language intensify and punctuate the impact of each verse.

Stylistically, your poem here embraces simplicity and immediacy. The repetition of the phrases "Tell me" and "Drink, drink, drink, say cheers!" Has created a rhythmic quality that mirrors the act of drinking and the relentless questioning that echoes in the speaker's mind. The use of short, fragmented lines mirrors the shattered state of the speaker's heart, reinforcing and demonstrating the emotional turbulence.

Thematically, this poem speaks to the aftermath of heartbreak and the struggle to cope with the pain. The metaphor of a shot glass filled with tears encapsulates the feeling of bitterness among the emotional experiences. The act of drinking becomes both a physical and emotional release, offering a temporary respite from the overwhelming grief. The juxtaposition of the laughter and the heartbreak serves as a poignant commentary on the contrast between the speaker's internal turmoil and the external world. It shows how this one must disguise, distract the pain.

Formally, the poem follows a free verse structure, allowing for an unfiltered expression of emotions. The lack of a rigid rhyme scheme enhances the raw and authentic tone, without forcing language, and echoing the unpredictability of this described heartache. The brevity of the lines contributes to the poem's overall intensity, reflecting the sharp and abrupt nature of this emotional pain.

Poetic devices, such as metaphor and repetition, play a crucial role in amplifying the emotional impact of the message. The shot glass becomes a powerful metaphor for the accumulation of tears, highlighting the weight and volume of the speaker's sorrow. The repetition or chant of the word "drink" intensifies the sense of the speaker’s desperation and the futility in this attempt to numb the pain through alcohol, perhaps to cheer oneself.

As a suggestion, you might consider expanding on specific moments or memories that contribute to the speaker's anguish. Providing concrete details is a way one could further immerse their readership in the emotional landscape you’ve developed and to enhance reaction of empathy.

“Cheers” is the type of poem that offers a poignant glimpse into the aftermath of heartbreak, wielding in word usage some simplicity and repetition to convey the depth of emotional pain. The unguarded expression and vivid metaphors make your poem a visceral exploration of grief that many might relate.

Very intense and emotionally draining piece about sadness that I was happy to discover and consider for this feedback.

Sincerely,

Brian
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Review of Among the Books  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Detective

"Among The Books" is a delightful ode to the enchanting world found within the pages of literature, expressing the solace and joy derived from the companionship of books. The poem's style is marked by a playful rhythm and rhyme scheme that echoes the whimsical nature of the subject matter.

Stylistically, you've adopted a casual and conversational tone, inviting readers into the speaker's personal journey among bookshelves and literary realms. The repetition of the phrase "Oh lonesome me" at the beginning creates a musical cadence, drawing attention to the speaker's initial sense of solitude. The rhyme scheme, particularly evident in lines like "Battles fought against ancient foes / And thrills to keep you on your toes," adds a lighthearted and engaging quality to the poem.

Thematically, this offering celebrates the transformative power of books, presenting them as portals to diverse adventures and realms. The speaker's quest for "long lost treasure" becomes a metaphor for the search for meaning and courage found within the pages of literature. The choice to mention specific locations like "the streets of Baltimore" and "a house on a rainy English moor" adds a layer of vividness, invoking iconic literary settings that readers can easily visualize.

Formally, your poem adheres to a regular rhyme scheme and consistent meter, contributing to its rhythmic flow. The use of enjambment allows ideas to seamlessly transition from one line to the next, mirroring the fluidity of thought and exploration. The single stanza structure creates a sense of unity, emphasizing the interconnectedness of the various literary adventures mentioned.

Poetic devices, such as metaphor and alliteration, enhance the poem's imagery and musicality. The comparison of each book to a "treasure trove" emphasizes the richness and value of the stories contained within. Alliteration, as seen in "sparkle of diamonds and pearls," adds a touch of elegance to the language, heightening the sense of wonder associated with the literary discoveries.

By way of a suggestion, consider expanding on specific examples of the types of books or genres that provide solace to the speaker. This could offer readers a more detailed insight into the speaker's literary preferences and deepen the emotional connection.

A charming celebration of the endless wonders found within the world of literature. With its rhythmic cadence and joyful exploration of various literary landscapes, I found it an engaging homage to the transformative power of books.

Sincerely,

Brian
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Review of Poems old and new  
for entry "Colors" 
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Jaya,

"Colors" unfolds like a vibrant tapestry, weaving together elements of nature, emotions, and spirituality. The poem explores the transformative power of colors and the profound impact they have on the speaker's perception of life. Let's delve into the various aspects that contribute to the richness of this piece.

Stylistically, your poem embraces a lyrical quality, employing vivid and sensory language to evoke a vivid mental image. The use of metaphorical language, such as "My world has burst into a thousand colors," immediately immerses the reader in a world painted with emotion. The repetition of "colors" reinforces the central theme, emphasizing the multisensory experience the speaker undergoes.

Thematically, this offering revolves around the theme of rejuvenation and the cyclical nature of life. The contrast between the perceived depressive nature of fall and the speaker's optimistic outlook creates a dynamic tension. This interplay between darkness and light reflects the broader theme of life's fluctuations and the enduring hope for positive change.

Formally, the poem adheres to a free verse structure, allowing the ideas to flow organically. The enjambment contributes to the seamless progression of thoughts, mirroring the fluidity of nature. The choice to present the poem as a single stanza enhances the sense of continuity, reinforcing the idea of life's ongoing journey.

Poetic devices, such as metaphor and personification, are skillfully employed to enhance the impact here. The comparison of fall's grey to a depressive state challenges conventional perceptions, inviting the reader to reconsider the beauty inherent in every season. The personification of nature as "standing sentinel" and "creative regeneration" infuses the poem with a sense of divine agency, highlighting the connection between the natural world and the speaker's spiritual perspective.

As a suggestion, consider exploring specific instances or examples that illustrate the transformative power of colors in the speaker's life. Providing concrete imagery or experiences could further anchor the poem in relatable emotions, allowing readers to connect more deeply with the speaker's journey.

Your poem is a celebration of life's kaleidoscope, artfully painted with language that resonates with optimism and spiritual awareness. The poem's fusion of style, theme, form, and poetic devices creates a harmonious composition that invites readers to reflect on the ever-changing hues of existence.

Sincerely,

Brian
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Review of Summer Thunder  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Mouser,

Your poem, "Summer Thunder", invited this reader into a nostalgic realm, where the speaker reminisces about shared moments with their father during stormy times. The poem's beauty lies not only in its simplicity but in the depth of emotion it evokes through vivid imagery and a poignant narrative.

The style employed in this poem is akin to a reflective memoir, capturing the essence of a past shared experience. The choice of the first-person perspective creates an intimate connection between the speaker and the reader. The straightforward language mirrors the simplicity of the moments described, contributing to the overall sincerity of the piece.

Thematically, your offering explores the bond between the speaker and their father, using the backdrop of a summer thunderstorm as a metaphor for the passage of time and shared memories. The choice of focusing on the storm as a shared experience adds a layer of symbolism, suggesting the resilience and strength of the familial connection amidst life's turbulence.

The form of this poem aligns with its contemplative nature, utilizing short, concise lines that echo the pauses in the storm described. The enjambment creates a natural flow, mirroring the steady progression of rain. The structure itself becomes a reflection of the ebb and flow of memories, enhancing the thematic resonance.

Poetic devices, such as personification, play a subtle yet impactful role. The rain is described as "Sheet down on the thirsty yard," imbuing it with human-like qualities of thirst. This personification not only adds a layer of depth to the description but also subtly reinforces the theme of shared human experiences.

The poem's strength lies in its ability to transport me to a specific moment in time. In a way, it gives me my own vision of place. I feel I'm overlooking a vast farm field. I'm sensing dusk into night, when the day is drawing to a close. I did trouble with one section of the poem:

"There were long pauses
As we watched the lightning and thunder
Progress the rain would
Sheet down on the thirsty yard."

You had already described rain in 'sheets'. Either is used well. However, here the breaks or enjambment take away power from the natural break between 'progress' and 'the rain would sheet down on a thirsty yard.' That strong image is culled from reading through several hesitations to finally get what is meant. It helps if a reader does not have to stop and reread to consider this passage.

To avoid repetition, 'The rain drove down in sheets/Punctuated by lightning and thunder' could be edited to read: "Punctuated by lightning and thunder/the rain drove down'. You might find more impactful, unless you want to add personification to the rain or lend a more sensory experience.

A further suggestion would be to consider searching deeper into specific details or emotions associated with the father-child relationship during these storms. Expanding on certain nuances of these interactions could elevate the emotional impact and provide readers with a more immersive experience. What connects me is my own conversations with my kids and what I might share with them about storms, or about life, or how we passed time. Describing a few details can give us age (beyond 'kid'), the father's vocation/interests, the era, and more.

To sum up, "Summer Thunder" captivates with its sincerity and evocative imagery. Your poem beautifully encapsulates the warmth and significance of shared moments, making it a poignant ode to familial bonds. A pleasure to have perused to offer my comment.

Sincerely,

Brian
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Review of Lurch  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Piripica,

I read so many writers here, that I sometimes lose the impression a poet like yourself had made on me in the past. I wanted to look back at old reviews, but will have to read this stand alone. I’m sure I will get more familiar with your writing as I go.

Engaging with your poem "Lurch" was like navigating the undulating currents of introspection, as the poet masterfully captures the ebb and flow of emotional terrain. The choice of the title itself, "Lurch," sets a tone of uncertainty, and this feeling reverberates throughout the poem.

The style is noteworthy, employing a first-person narrative that immersed me as reader in the speaker's internal journey. The repetition of "again" adds emphasis, underlining the cyclical nature of the emotional turbulence. This choice cleverly mirrors the lurching feeling the poem describes, creating a rhythmic resonance.

Thematically, the poem delves into the speaker's struggle with an unfamiliar emotional landscape. The metaphor of the riverbed and the lack of a stable point to push off from evoke a sense of vulnerability and disorientation. The irony in "Out of my depth again" adds a layer of complexity, suggesting a recurring pattern that the speaker grapples with.

In terms of form, the poem adopts a free verse structure that mirrors the fluidity and unpredictability of emotions. The enjambment effectively mimics the uninterrupted flow of the internal monologue, contributing to the overall immersive experience. The stanzas themselves act as emotional markers, mirroring the shifting dynamics within the speaker.

Poetic devices, such as metaphor and personification, enrich the poem's texture. The comparison of the people to "White birds gliding slowly through a green world" conjures vivid imagery, emphasizing a sense of detachment and grace in the observed interactions. The personification of the green mirror as an unsteady path cleverly contrasts the security of the speaker's hands climbing along their metaphorical path.

I don’t know if anybody notices this kind of stuff, based on reaction to my own poetry endeavor. But, I think I’ve caught it… And my favorite line in the poem, “while overhanging leaves kiss their mirror twins on the edges.” As I was enjoying its visual beauty, I happened to notice this passage centers the poem, just as if you have mirrored one half of this offering with the other. Structurally, these are the kinds of things I try to apply and look for in good poetry. I was impressed by this.

As for suggestion, you could consider further exploring the emotional impact of the lurching feeling. Delve into specific emotions or experiences that contribute to this recurring sense of being "out of depth." Expanding on these aspects could enhance the reader's connection to the speaker's internal struggle.

I feel this poem captivates with its introspective journey, employing a skillful blend of style, theme, form, and poetic devices. The vivid imagery and rhythmic cadence create a poignant exploration of emotional turbulence.

A pleasure to revisit your poetry that I might lend some comment.

Sincerely,

Brian
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Review of Christmas is Here  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Amethyst Angel (House Mormont) ,

Your parody lyrics, "Christmas Is Here," crafted in the style of an Imagine Dragons song, cleverly blend humor and introspection to create a refreshing take on the holiday season. The lyrics navigate the familiar landscape of Christmas traditions, injecting a humorous twist and a deeper reflection on the essence of the celebration. Let's delve into the various elements that make this parody engaging and effective.

Stylistically, your lyrics successfully capture the energetic and dynamic style associated with Imagine Dragons. The use of colloquial language, playful rhymes, and the incorporation of specific Christmas references contribute to the parody's authenticity. Lines like "Tripping over tinsel, it's dangerous" and "Shop at Ross, gift for the boss" showcase a witty play on words and demonstrate a keen understanding of the original song's tone.

Meter and lyricism play a crucial role in maintaining the rhythm and flow of the parody, aligning with the melody of "Whatever It Takes." The verses maintain a consistent meter, enhancing the musicality of the lyrics. For example, the line "Everybody's waiting for Santa Claus" maintains the cadence expected in an Imagine Dragons song. This adherence to rhythm is essential for capturing the essence of the original track while infusing it with a festive and humorous spirit.

The theme of the parody cleverly subverts conventional Christmas expectations. The lyrics humorously critique the chaos of holiday preparations, the stress associated with gift-giving, and the societal pressures surrounding the season. The lines "What is it 'bout Christmas / Makes people think it's time to kiss?" and "And that means more than just traffic (A ton)" poke fun at the clichés of the holiday while inviting reflection on the deeper meanings often overshadowed by the hustle and bustle.

The chorus serves as a poignant anchor, redirecting the focus from the superficial aspects of Christmas to its profound significance. Lines like "Christmas is here / And that means peace out to everyone" and "Hold the fruitcake, we're not ready / 'Cause Christmas is here" pivot the lyrics toward a more reflective and spiritual dimension. This thematic shift adds depth to the parody, transcending the initial comedic critique.

For suggestions, consider exploring opportunities to enhance the internal rhyme scheme or introduce variations in rhyme patterns to further mimic the intricacies of Imagine Dragons' lyricism. Additionally, experiment with vocal dynamics and pacing to capture the intensity and emotion characteristic of the original song. This can add another layer of authenticity to the parody.

This was fun and a unique experience, reviewing your Christmas parody lyrics.

Sincerely,

Brian
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Review of Stars  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star* A Newbie Review *Star*
Hello Kallie,

As I perused your poem "Stars," I found myself navigating a celestial tapestry woven with emotions and metaphors. The imagery of the stars, vibrant and varied, immediately draws the reader into a contemplative space. The opening lines, "The stars are colorful tonight / All cheery and light," establish a whimsical and optimistic atmosphere, setting the stage for a journey through the night sky.

Your style seamlessly blends simplicity with depth, creating a poem that is accessible yet rich in meaning. The rhythmic flow of the verses mimics the natural cadence of thought, making the exploration of emotions and ideas feel organic. This style, evident in lines like "Then there are the stars that are darker, the ones not so bright," allows the reader to effortlessly connect with the celestial allegory you've crafted.

The theme of the poem, centered around the symbolism of stars, offers a versatile exploration of emotions and relationships. The contrast between the "cheery and light" stars and the darker, dimmer ones creates a nuanced reflection on the spectrum of human experiences. The inclusion of stargazers and star-chasers adds layers to the theme, introducing the concepts of connection, pursuit, and the cyclical nature of life.

The form of your poem embraces a free-verse structure, providing you with the flexibility to navigate the celestial metaphor without constraint. This open form allows the poem to breathe and evolve, mirroring the vastness of the night sky. The use of enjambment, such as in the lines "They grab the ones they feel they would perpetually clutch / Then there are star-chasers who follow the ones grown dim," contributes to the seamless transition between ideas, creating a continuous and engaging narrative.

Poetic devices, particularly metaphors and personification, play a significant role in enhancing the depth of your poem. The stars become symbolic representations of emotions, experiences, and relationships. For example, the image of star-chasers following the dim stars suggests a pursuit of meaning and connection even in challenging or obscured circumstances.

For suggestions, consider experimenting with varying line lengths to add a visual dynamic to the poem. This could mirror the diversity of stars in the night sky and enhance the overall visual impact. You could also explore the sensory aspects of stargazing to further immerse the reader in the celestial experience. Perhaps, an experience like this puts your readers in scene.

It was a pleasure to discover and review a new writer in our little community. Hope we will see more.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
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Review of Square Rose  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star* A Newbie Review *Star*


Hello Val,

"Square Rose" unfolds as a poetic tapestry woven with intricate threads of independence and dependence, each stanza a brushstroke on the canvas of human connection. Your choice of imagery and metaphor creates a rich and evocative landscape that invites readers to explore the delicate dance between freedom and interdependence.

Stylistically, your poem exhibits a unique blend of vivid imagery and contemplative introspection. The opening lines, "Independence / Is the free fall of amber tenuous and pale autumn-leaves," immediately set a tone of reflection on the transient nature of autonomy. The use of autumn leaves as a metaphor for independence introduces a poignant visual element, capturing the fragility and temporality of the theme.

The form of your poem, with its distinct sections devoted to independence and dependence, provides a clear structure for readers to navigate the nuanced exploration of these concepts. The transition from one section to the other is seamless, mirroring the fluid nature of the themes being examined. This structured form allows for a focused examination of each facet, enhancing the overall impact of the poem.

Poetic devices, such as metaphor and personification, play a pivotal role in conveying the complexity of the emotions and ideas presented. The thorned wreath around an innocuous rose becomes a powerful metaphor for dependence, invoking a juxtaposition of vulnerability and beauty. Similarly, "to unclench the monarch-butterfly in your lips" employs personification, transforming a simple action into a symbolic gesture laden with emotional resonance.

The theme of interdependence, woven throughout the poem, adds layers of meaning to the exploration of relationships. The imagery of angels dancing and a man turning into a statue to hold a fallen leaf on his shoulder evokes a sense of shared humanity and interconnectedness. This theme reaches its zenith in the lines "We are interdependent angels / or else / why would a man turn into a statue," underscoring the inherent need for connection in the human experience.

For suggestions, consider experimenting with varied line lengths to create visual and rhythmic interest. Strategic line breaks can emphasize key ideas and guide the reader's attention. Additionally, there’s the possibility of incorporating more sensory details to enhance the reader's immersion. Descriptive elements related to touch, scent, or sound could deepen emotional resonance of your poem.

It was a pleasure to have discovered your poem (and a new writer in our community) in one of the more recent poetry newsletters.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
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Review of Ripples  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Daniel,

I was perusing the latest poetry newsletter and found the promoted link for this piece.

Your poem "Ripples" invites readers into a contemplative space, exploring profound themes through the metaphor of a stone creating ripples in water. The simplicity of your language conceals a depth of philosophical inquiry, making each word a ripple that resonates with existential reflections.

Stylistically, your poem embraces brevity, a choice that enhances the impact of each line. The concise phrasing, as seen in "A stone, / rippling through water," immediately establishes a focused and deliberate tone. This style mirrors the contemplative nature of philosophical inquiry, where brevity often allows for heightened impact and reflection.

The theme of interconnectedness, portrayed through the metaphor of ripples in water, serves as a powerful lens for examining the complexities of human relationships and existence. The notion of a stone changing the essence of another, with individuals connected and suspended in time, creates a vivid image of the interconnected web of life. This theme unfolds gradually, like ripples expanding across a pond, allowing readers to engage with the layers of meaning embedded in each line.

Your poem's form, with its repetition and circular structure, echoes the cyclical nature of existence. The repetition of phrases like "together, apart, tethered, we find" adds a rhythmic quality, reinforcing the interconnected themes. The circularity of the poem contributes to the sense of continuity and emphasizes the perpetual nature of the philosophical exploration presented.

Poetic devices, particularly metaphor and personification, play a crucial role in elevating the poem's impact. The stone becomes a symbolic agent of change, representing the actions and choices that shape the interconnected lives of individuals. For example, "controlling foundations, destination, a stone" imbues the stone with agency, suggesting a profound influence on the trajectories of lives.

For suggestions, consider experimenting with the placement of line breaks to create visual impact and emphasize key ideas. Strategic line breaks can guide the reader's attention and enhance the overall rhythm. Additionally, you might want to consider furthering metaphorical imagery to further deepen the exploration of interconnectedness and existential themes. For instance, extending the metaphor to describe the depth, quality or light upon the ripples of water could enrich the sensory experience for the reader.

Congratulations on the highlighted newsletter link to your poem and a pleasure to have discovered your writing.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Angela,

As I immersed myself in these evocative verses, a poignant narrative unfolded, tracing the journey of a soul in the cold embrace of a new city life. The opening lines beautifully set the atmospheric tone, describing the lingering chill as remnants of winter, mirroring the emotional landscape awaiting exploration.

Your concise yet powerful imagery captured the essence of the protagonist's emotional state. The eyes shining in delight at the new adventure juxtaposed against the city's eventual swallowing of her fragile form painted a vivid contrast, symbolizing the transformative nature of urban life. This duality between anticipation and disillusionment laid the thematic groundwork for the unfolding narrative.

The city, personified as an entity that both welcomes and extracts, served as a compelling metaphor. The extraction of new ideas, coupled with the sense of being lost and unborn, conveyed a palpable struggle between the allure of possibilities and the harsh realities of navigating an unfamiliar terrain. The use of stark language, such as "lost, unborn," heightened the emotional impact, leaving a lingering resonance.

Your poem adeptly employs a shift in perspective, emphasizing the protagonist's disillusionment. The lines "As if no knowledge exists. / All completely stripped bare." convey a profound sense of vulnerability and disillusionment. The repetition of "bare" emphasizes the profound stripping away of familiarity, leaving the protagonist adrift in a sea of uncertainty.

The exploration of light, particularly through the imagery of street lights, adds another layer to the poem. The once bright lights that shone into broken eyes, reflecting a passion, now reveal a stark truth – the stories were lies. This shift in perception, from the hopeful illumination of passion to the revelation of falsehood, contributes to the poem's thematic depth.

For suggestions, consider expanding on the internal struggle of the protagonist. Delve into her thoughts and emotions, allowing readers to connect more deeply/directly with her journey. Additionally, experiment with varying the rhythm or rhyme scheme to enhance the poem's musicality, mirroring the ebb and flow of the protagonist's experiences. It’s a bit tight and locked into some short lines/expressions.

I found your poem as a long ago entry in the seldom utilized Monthly Poem contest. It’s unfortunate more members don’t subscribe. I think it’s the redacting rules that discourage entries. I had considered it once upon a time myself. Either way, a pleasure to have stumbled in to discover your offering.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
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Review of PPC 4  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Ned,

I peered into your Promptly Poetry selections and was immediately drawn with curiosity from the title of this poem. I’m offered a view of an enchanting world, the vivid imagery of a lush, green fairy garden immediately captivates the senses. The small windmill, proudly painted in the brightest white, captured this reader as central figure in the magical landscape. Its arms, stained as brown as wood, added a touch of rustic charm, creating a visual symphony that unfolded with each line.

Your choice of introducing Norwyn Nedengrass, the gnome, as the guardian of this ethereal space added a delightful layer to the narrative. His watchful presence near the pink petunias by the babbling brook not only established a sense of connection with nature but also hinted at the underlying theme of resilience in the face of external challenges.

The playful interaction between Norwyn and the busy body bumble bees introduced a subtle tension, creating a dynamic atmosphere within the garden. The bees' taunts about the motionless windmill cleverly echoed the theme of persistence in the face of skepticism. Norwyn's stoic response, standing guard for hours, revealed a quiet strength that resonated with the overarching message.

The rhythmic flow and rhyme scheme in your poem added a musical quality, enhancing the whimsical atmosphere of the fairy garden. The repetition of sounds, as seen in "busy body bumble bees" and "Bumble-bodied busy bees," not only added a delightful cadence but also emphasized the persistent buzzing that became a backdrop to Norwyn's steadfastness.

In terms of suggestions, exploring the emotional depth of Norwyn's character could further this piece. Perhaps delve into his thoughts and feelings, providing readers with a more profound understanding of his contentment despite the challenges. Additionally, you might experiment with varying the rhyme scheme to add a touch of unpredictability, mirroring the ever-changing nature of a garden.

This poem was a pleasure to consume and consider for feedback.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Again Joey,

Your sonnet, "A Florida Thanksgiving," is a joyful celebration of the unique warmth and charm that Thanksgiving takes on in the Sunshine State. The 14-line structure, coupled with its rhythmic flow, captures the essence of the holiday and the distinct Floridian setting. The poem seamlessly weaves together vivid imagery, familial joy, and a sense of gratitude, creating a snapshot of a Thanksgiving celebration bathed in the glow of the Florida sun.

Stylistically, your poem embraces a vibrant and descriptive language that paints a vivid picture of the Thanksgiving gathering. The opening lines, "In the Sunshine State, where the orange trees sway," immediately set the scene, transporting the reader to the sun-kissed atmosphere of Florida. The choice of specific details, such as the rustle of palm leaves and the ocean's quiet hum, adds a sensory richness to the poem, allowing readers to feel the coastal ambiance.

The theme of family, warmth, and gratitude permeates the poem, resonating with the spirit of Thanksgiving. The image of grandsons uniting in merriment under the bright sun captures the essence of familial joy. The lines "We count our blessings for all that has come" encapsulate the overarching theme of gratitude, inviting readers to reflect on the abundance of blessings during the holiday season.

The sonnet form, with its 14 lines and iambic pentameter, provides a structured framework that complements the celebratory nature of the poem. The rhyme scheme, in this case, abab cdcd efef gg, adds a musical quality to the verses. For example, the rhyme between "bright" and "come" in the lines "Their laughter echoed under the sun so bright" and "We count our blessings for all that has come" creates a pleasing harmony, enhancing the overall rhythm.

Poetic devices, such as alliteration and personification, contribute to the poem's lyrical quality. The alliteration in "Grandsons, four in number, in merriment, unite" creates a melodic cadence that echoes the joyous gathering. Additionally, the personification of Florida's embrace adds a touch of intimacy, turning the state into a nurturing presence that embraces the celebrants.

For suggestions, consider experimenting with variations that add visual interest and emphasize key ideas. Strategic line breaks guide the reader's attention and create a dynamic visual impact. It’s always possible to explore incorporating further sensory details to immerse readership in the vibrant setting of a Florida Thanksgiving.

As always, a pleasure to peruse and provide comment for these interesting offerings.

Sincerely,

Brian
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Review of Betrayal  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello John,

I found a short fiction that held my attention long enough to keep reading beyond the first paragraph. A story with a good hook. "Betrayal" weaved a compelling narrative exploring themes of friendship, loss, and the dark consequences of suspicion and deceit. The story delves into the complexities of human relationships, gradually building tension and revealing unexpected twists.

The opening paragraphs effectively establish the somber atmosphere of Max's funeral, providing a poignant backdrop for the subsequent events. The concise yet vivid descriptions of the characters and setting create a strong visual impact, allowing readers to immerse themselves in the story. The line, "Forty-two is much too young to die," immediately evokes empathy, setting the stage for a contemplative exploration of mortality.

The introspective thoughts of the protagonist, contemplating the impact of work and stress on one's life, add depth to this narrative. This internal monologue sets the stage for the character's realization of the need to prioritize life over work. The theme of self-reflection and the quest for a more fulfilling existence is a potent element that resonates with readers.

The story unfolds with a skillful blend of mystery and psychological drama. The suspicion and uncertainty surrounding Joan's activities create a sense of intrigue, keeping the reader engaged. The narrative maintains a steady pace, and the gradual revelation of the protagonist's dark intentions adds a layer of suspense.

One area for improvement could be the pacing of the unfolding events. Consider providing more space for the emotional impact of Max's death to resonate with the reader. Allow the grief and reflection to breathe before diving into the suspicion and subsequent actions.

The portrayal of the protagonist's descent into dark thoughts and actions is compelling, but there's an opportunity to explore the internal conflict and moral dilemma in more detail. Delve deeper into the character's psyche as he grapples with the decision to confront Joan and the subsequent drastic actions.

Furthermore, while the twist in the plot is unexpected and adds a layer of complexity, possibly explore the emotional aftermath and consequences more thoroughly. The resolution appears abrupt, leaving room to get further into the psychological toll on the protagonist.

I found "Betrayal" offers a gripping exploration of human relationships, betrayal, and the consequences of suspicion. Strengthening the emotional resonance and providing more depth to the internal conflicts could elevate the impact of the story. It was a pleasure to read and contemplate your tale for this offered feedback.

Sincerely,

Brian
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Review of Old Winds  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Again Fyn,

I’ve returned for another. You’ve featured my stuff many times in newsletters and realize I should offer something back for the noteworthy attention.

"Old Winds" is a captivating exploration of time, change, and the enduring echoes of the past. Your poem beautifully weaves together the elements of style, theme, form, and poetic devices to create a vivid tapestry of imagery and reflection.

Stylistically, your use of vivid language and evocative descriptions immediately draws the reader into the natural world you've crafted. The phrase "Old winds blow through canyons carved by time" sets a contemplative tone, inviting readers to join in a journey through the ages. The consistent, almost rhythmic cadence of your lines contributes to the meditative atmosphere, allowing the reader to be immersed in the unfolding scenes.

Thematically, "Old Winds" eloquently explores the passage of time and the interconnectedness of nature. The imagery of canyons carved by time, dancing waters, and towered granite alludes to the enduring landscape that bears witness to the ages. The poem becomes a meditation on the cyclical nature of life, capturing the essence of change while emphasizing the underlying sameness that persists.

Structurally, your poem embraces a free verse form, allowing for a natural flow that mirrors the organic themes within the verses. The fluidity of your lines enhances the sense of movement, mirroring the winds and waters that play central roles in your imagery. The varied lengths of your stanzas contribute to the poem's dynamic rhythm, creating a harmonious balance between reflection and momentum.

Poetic devices enrich the sensory experience of your poem. The alliteration in "scoured by dust" and the consonance in "pummeled into a life slurry" create aural textures that enhance the imagery. The repetition of the word "Old" becomes a refrain, anchoring the poem and emphasizing the timeless quality of the elements you describe. Consider exploring more metaphorical language to amplify the emotional depth of your reflections.

As for suggestions, you might consider experimenting with line breaks to emphasize key moments or images. For instance, breaking the line after "a poem of change and sameness" could add emphasis to this central idea. Additionally, explore expanding on specific images or metaphors to provide readers with even more vivid connections to the themes of your poem.

It’s been a pleasure considering your poems for feedback. Happy Holidays! *SnowMan* *snowball*

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
Non-Animated Angel Army Signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Flight Home  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Fyn,

I came across your sestina "Flight Home," in a list of Hooves’ favorites. I’m not on the list. Oh, well. I enjoyed your poem, captivated by the poignant theme of departure and the cyclic nature of life.

The opening stanzas weave a vivid scene of geese in flight, invoking a sense of nostalgia and inevitability. The use of the bow as a symbol adds a layer of metaphorical resonance, connecting the speaker's personal journey with the graceful yet determined movements of the geese.

Your style, characterized by evocative imagery and reflective introspection, seamlessly integrates with the sestina form. The repetition of end-words creates a subtle rhythmic cadence, enhancing the thematic coherence. For instance, the recurrence of "bow" echoes both the physical curvature of the boat and the emotional bowing to life's currents, creating a subtle harmony.

The thematic exploration of goodbyes and the passage of time is masterfully interwoven. The recurring motif of waves serves as a metaphor for the undulating nature of life's transitions, emphasizing the inevitability of change. The winter without goodbyes becomes a poignant moment, crystallizing the impact of absence and the emotional weight of departure.

Your use of poetic devices, such as personification in "Clouds overhead gathered gray with unfallen snow," adds depth to the narrative. The winter setting becomes a metaphor for the emotional chill of loss, underscoring the interconnectedness of nature and human experience. Perhaps, you could explore further avenues for metaphor and symbolism to amplify the emotional resonance in this piece.

In terms of suggestions, you might experiment with varying line lengths to create a dynamic visual impact. For example, elongating lines during moments of reflection and shortening them during impactful revelations can enhance the reader's engagement. If that even fits with a sestina, but with another endeavor of a similar theme.

It was a pleasure reading one of Hooves’s (Mom’s) favorites. I’ll go sulk in a corner now. *Laugh*

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
Non-Animated Angel Army Signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
75
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Review of Nepenthe  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello H. M. Marie ,

Upon prying in to look upon "Nepenthe," I found myself drawn toward the tumultuous emotion that resonates through your title-driven poem. The opening lines, "I would rend the skies – fracture the empyrean ether with a scream," set a powerful tone, immediately invoking a sense of passion and urgency. The vivid imagery of tearing through the celestial realm creates a strong visual impact, and it effectively captivates the reader's attention.

Your choice of style is notable, blending the ethereal with the visceral. The juxtaposition of "fiery legions" in the second stanza contrasts with the delicacy of "gossamer Moment" in the closing lines. This duality enhances the emotional depth, painting a nuanced portrayal of longing and determination. The poem's structure, with its concise yet impactful lines, contributes to the overall intensity, allowing each word to carry significant weight.

The theme of relentless pursuit and the desire to reunite permeates throughout the poem, creating a sense of yearning that resonates on a profound level. The metaphorical hunt through the cosmic expanse adds a layer of mystery, inviting readers to explore the depths of emotion embedded in the verses. The use of celestial imagery, such as "meteoric gossamer Moment," elevates the poem to a cosmic scale, infusing it with a transcendent quality.

In terms of poetic devices, your incorporation of enjambment enhances the flow, creating a seamless progression from one line to the next. For instance, the enjambment in "fling aside / dust of fiery legions" propels the reader forward, intensifying the urgency of the narrative. Additionally, the repetition of the conditional statement "If I believed" adds a contemplative layer, emphasizing the delicate balance between hope and skepticism.

As a suggestion, consider exploring the emotional landscape further by incorporating sensory elements. With the employment of textures, sounds, and scents that accompany the speaker's celestial journey, this could be enriching for the reader's experience. For instance, describing the "fiery legions" with sensory details could amplify the immersive quality of your poem.

I found the narrative of this short poem very commanding. Somehow, the structure caused me to look at it upside down. It even reads well backwards, reads as one sentence, because you could start with line eight up to top and it would almost be the same. Or, what appeared to me. Just one of the little things that suggest something is well written, to me.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
Non-Animated Angel Army Signature


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