A review of "The Son of Man" 
Yup! It's gonna be another one of those looong reviews. 
Dear iKïyå§ama-Yay-Nurses!  ,
Cigarettes and addiction are central to this story and seem to signify something about holding domain over someone from his wife to work and the boss. While the story was sufficiently intriguing, the ending was so subtle that whatever profound meaning might be cloaked somewhere in the motifs and themes that illuminate a reader to this man's lifestyle and how poor and overworked he is. The irony is he's a solid worker; rumor wasn't correct who was getting the axe.
I noted scenes with dinner and the game, the rush to work, the stinky elevator ride, the click-clacky swarm of typewriters (50s and/or Dystopian lit?), the cig break that confirmed people are broken down to the simplest elements, and the axing from the corpulent boss. All of these small events weave together a nuanced story that puts a reader there, finds empathy to ignore the cigarette habit, and wonder about 12 hour days (nurses will work 3 twelve hour shifts), guessing this is five days a week. And still, can't make ends meet.
If you're only skill is a typewriter and the business of typed characters is slow, what is it they type? Didn't have a feeling that it was transcriptions of some kind, but couldn't be creative writing. So, that was puzzling for me. Sometimes, you have a bustling news room back in the day, but not 50 typers. But, I'm feeling something developing in story that has irony at the end. Was going to ask for a raise, heard someone else was getting let go, co-workers seemingly jealous of his trip down the hall (where I have known it to be the exact opposite. No one gets called in from a sweat shop for an honor.), and then losing his job. (Also, it's common to fire an employee before he starts work, otherwise they don't have their duck in a row. They guard company assets and anything that can cause workers to react outward, firing one who might stand for something in their lives, if held up as model.)
In honesty, I thought he would have done something more rugged for work. I didn't get much of a feel for place, and the dialogue didn't give a clue to a particular region. I got era, although we could go sideways and consider a parallel realm. But fiction is that realm, so I can imagine a story written in a time when Orwell was promoting his book, and a story like this would arrive. It would suggest some things about the present era... We are redacting words in society through social media, forced to chose left or right, right or wrong, distracted by sports and celebrity, music, gaming and streaming whatever (disconnects us), not be outspoken or controversial, trash talk but shame haters. The call for unity is met with turn brother against brother, rather than outward toward government mind gaming citizens consumed with distractions noted and more. I can't directly and cohesively encapsulate it all. Though, I have something sourced through research that opened my eyes, based on experience in work and social life. I could never share or publish.
What's making me wonder is where is the low level management with the firing? My experience has been that the big boss delegates, creating that buffer protected by human resources that dictates how one could go about letting an employee go, including knowing all the loopholes (I could go way further with this.). In a bygone era, not much for workers rights. Even more so, as this story describes. Today, we have the slick-haired butt kissers who enjoy doing the dirty work of giving employees a hard time. And, manipulating and figuring out ways to trip someone up, to lose that liability, so they have cause to get them canned. There's your haters and easy to incentivize because they enjoy it.
Again, this story is straightforward and out of the past, or a realm where worker's rights are zero. It suggests this pool of workers use cigarettes as stress relief, having no other recourse with all the pressures of job and family life. I wonder about recreation. I feel we are all headed to a recliner with a microwave dinner, beer and a ballgame. We are regressing as a society that treats workers well.
The wife isn't too understanding. I assume not even working. I can look at this like the Atwood novel turned series where women are just birthers. Not in the same way, but even in the fifties, women took care of the house and dad smoked a pipe, wore slippers and brought a suitcase to work. Not that "Leave It To Beaver" world, either.
When I think of parts of England, closer to areas where skies gray often, not sunny, there are poor parts of in that gloomy region that fit this type of climate. That's in part how I envisioned place. But, I felt the story did not reach a place of conflict, as the entire piece was conflict with no true resolution, just result. It doesn't mean it's bad or unsatisfying. I think you have worked very hard on developing a central character, lifestyle and a feeling of repression in a society that treats low level people poorly. And, getting terminated as a solid employee leaves me puzzled. The boss can do whatever he wants; no repercussions under this scenario. I'm guessing getting employed after this might be difficult. Why him? That might haunt a reader.
A device to make him a model of resistance in an otherwise oppressed world, is to kick the habit of cigarettes. Perhaps, be a model of sorts for other workers and the boss nips it in the bud. With what you've developed, it might show some conflict, or climax and fall. And noting now, the boss asking if he caught the game suggests something, too. Who do you root for? This is a part of social conditioning, where people don't have identity but find their interest driven toward supporting your team. This would identify team player. David could buck that, as well.
Also, I just figured out how to give the reader a sense of redemption. I'm recalling, of all things, an episode of "Married With Children" where Al Bundy had to return a book to a librarian he despised as a child. She was the same and worse. He got caught trying to fool her putting the book back, but got caught on video. Her habit was to stir a lot of sugar into her coffee. He pockets the sugar container, implying it's going in her gas tank. You have a boss that resembles that sort of repulsiveness, and the little guy gets a small victory.
People ask me who I root for, I just say a good game. I like to watch individual performances. This would be the kind of answer that could also put him in the crosshairs in a society that holds dominion over the masses. If low level management played a roll, it would be to take the heat for the boss. People identified as narcissistic and sadistic. They get paid more to do less (feeds the ego), draw the ire of workers. Should an employee break, and get out of line, could be marked for new conditioning or removed with this story.
So, with David's story, there seemed nothing foreboding. If he had intended to ask for a raise, this could have been the calling card for his demise. How would they know, unless surveillance state. Either from his home life to the assumed privacy of a break. Perhaps, in that break scene, one of lower management will make an appearance after David's proclamation. Another thing to help a reader zero in on what caused this outcome.
Now, I read through the story once, started to get ideas for feedback and it took off from there. I reconsidered some sections, as you might note, like 'who you root for'. There might have been more to this story, that again, is nuanced and subtle. And, on a closer read, I might pick up more hints. What I feel is worthy is the climate and the behaviors of the people and how they play their part, from the wonder of what type of world this is. Straight out of the Twilight Zone? I like that the boss is corpulent. I loved the description of his office as minimalist with a green apple on that desk. It contrasts his character. I think his office is part of his intimidation for an employee.
I think I hit a wall for anything else to remark. I did summarize a bit with my likes and takeaways. I know that you posted in newsfeed and noted views but no reviews. I enjoyed jumping on it and being that one, since our many years here. I know you write good fiction that's always worthwhile, as this offering. Thank you for sharing.
Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
 
I hope it's okay that I don't roll back through this to edit. My grammar might get messed up by my arthritic hands, bent back at the table aching (excuses  ). Hopefully, can resolve any errata. You're probably asleep at the time of this review. So, Good Morning!  |
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| (4.5)
| (4.0)
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