\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ripglaedr3/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/7
Review Requests: OFF
3,050 Public Reviews Given
3,730 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Quill 2024 Nominee.
3,706 reviews? Feels like a million words since. Word-ometer needle broke. I get stuck, limited eyesight reminds. I did it for others, to improve my critical analysis of our art, but get to know each and their approaches to our shared love, *Heart* ~~ *Quill*}
Style? Read my reviews. Look at other’s output. Responses of my reviews have affirmed.
~Mantra: I see the good, with an eye toward potential, but not be/play authority of someone else’s words, left to the master of the work. Reflect/react/review, a fuller perspective.
In 2024: “Your reviews are great…supportive, encouraging, and ‘in depth’, with excellent suggestions…exactly the kind of reviews I…strive to write. Alas, such reviews are the exception on here. Most are drive-by reviews…just heap praise on the item. A small number are just critical and not supportive...Yours are among the one (in) twenty…that are gems. People should be grateful for getting them.”
I'm good at...
Poetry, shorter stuff. I'm mostly blind. I react and encourage with feedback, suggest direction to something better. I break the conventional fourth wall. Not sure what it means.
Favorite Genres
nature, love, psychological, spiritual, inspirational, humor, emotional, drama, human interest, dystopian.
Favorite Item Types
poetry, short story, essay/opinion/blog
Public Reviews
Previous ... 3 4 5 6 -7- 8 9 10 11 12 ... Next
151
151
Review of Moon  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Hello Jody,

Such a beautiful, a bit heart-wrenching, haiku, "Moon" Open in new Window.. It captures a poignant and evocative moment in just three lines:

Moon

oh waning crescent
stealing light each passing night
such beautiful loss

Adhering to the traditional haiku form, you have imbued it with a modern sensibility. Within the simplicity of the structure—five, seven, and five syllables— this demonstrates very effectively through a disciplined approach. This brevity forces the poem to convey a depth of meaning in compacted space, making every word count, something of a challenge you navigated skillfully.

The theme of your haiku revolves around the natural phenomenon of the moon’s phases, particularly the waning crescent. This choice of subject matter is not only classic within the genre of haiku but also deeply resonant. The image of the moon "stealing light each passing night" evokes a sense of inevitable loss and the passage of time. This metaphor beautifully captures the transient nature of beauty and existence, a common theme in haiku that reflects the influence of Zen Buddhism.

Your use of poetic devices further enhanced the impact of this poem. The personification of the moon "stealing light" transforms it into an active participant in the night sky, adding a layer of dynamism to the depicted scene. The juxtaposition of "beautiful" and "loss" in the final line encapsulates the bittersweet essence of the moment. This dichotomy between beauty and melancholy is particularly effective, as it invites this reader to find solace and beauty in the inevitability of change and loss. It’s a very experienced line that might make one grab for their chest. In totality, the life we lead, inside such beauty and suffering, speaks to each of us apart and together with our affected influences from having lived and loved.

Something of an idea, should you wield words for another poem or two again, is to further enhance your haiku — consider incorporating a kigo (seasonal word) to root the poem more firmly in the tradition of Japanese haiku. For example, referencing a specific time of year, like "autumn crescent" or "spring crescent," could provide additional depth and context. Additionally, playing with the imagery to evoke sensory experiences might also enrich the poem. For instance, you could describe the moonlight's effect on the surroundings, such as "silvery glow fades" or "shadows lengthen." What I learned on my own, before noting other’s have accomplished, is using several haikus like stanzas for a longer poetic expression…in this case you could do two or four in transition from season to season, equinox to solstice.

Overall, I found your haiku successfully evokes a contemplative mood and encapsulates a moment of natural beauty with clarity and elegance. The balance between form and content in your work demonstrates a keen understanding of haiku’s essence. In all our emails these past few years, and now I’ve seen a deeper, even more enriching side to you. It was a pleasure to consider. Too bad I couldn’t launch a full review on the day of your anniversary event.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!

Eyes…dry…*EyesLeft* s t r e t c h *EyesRight*
*BigSmile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
152
152
Review of In Mongolia  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello again Kåre เลียม Enga Author Icon,

I’ve had "In Mongolia," in my review tool for some time and finally cleaning house. I was immediately struck by your poem’s minimalist yet evocative style. The brevity of the lines and the repetition of phrases created a sense of rhythm and symmetry, mirroring what I can imagine or visualize as vast and open landscapes of Mongolia. The opening lines, "My camel laughs. / I laugh," establishes a sense of camaraderie and mutual understanding between speaker and their animal companion. This simple yet powerful imagery sets the tone for a contemplative exploration of connection and shared experience amidst the beauty of nature.

Stylistically, your poem exhibits a sense of economy and restraint, allowing each word and phrase to resonate with significance. The use of short, declarative sentences and sparse punctuation enhances the poem's sense of immediacy and intimacy, drawing the reader into the depicted journey. Your approach reflects the minimalist aesthetic often associated with travel poetry, where brevity and precision are used to capture fleeting moments of discovery and wonder.

Thematically, "In Mongolia" explores the themes of connection, laughter, and the transcendent power of nature to forge bonds between humans and animals. The repetition of the lines "I laugh. / My camel laughs," serves as a refrain that underscores the symbiotic relationship between the speaker and camel, as well as the joy and camaraderie shared. The imagery of "flat dry plains / stretch past far horizons" evokes a sense of vastness and expansiveness, highlighting the awe-inspiring beauty of the Mongolian landscape.

Poetic devices such as repetition and juxtaposition you have employed effectively throughout, enriching this reader's emotional engagement and understanding. The repetition of the lines I’m repeating, "I laugh. / My camel laughs," creates a sense of symmetry and harmony, echoing the rhythm of shared laughter between the speaker and their camel. It’s worth noting too that the juxtaposition of laughter against the backdrop of the expansive Mongolian plains adds depth and complexity to the poem's thematic exploration of connection and belonging.

In terms of suggestions, the oft suggested experimentation of varied line lengths or stanza structures to enhance the poem's visual appeal and rhythmic flow. A longer poem could include exploring additional sensory imagery or concrete examples that could further immerse the reader in the speaker's travel experience, allowing a deeper emotional connection for a reader.

Im always impressed when I find that somewhat unique voice/style with brevity and shared knowledge, like making a captivating reflection on the bonds of companionship and the transformative power of laughter amidst the beauty of nature. Your adept usage of language, imagery, and poetic devices are also noted consistently, which makes a poem like this become a poignant ode to your joys of travel and the wonders of the natural world. Thanks for bringing me along.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!

I noticed in one of my former reviews I forgot formatting of the formal {suser: enga} and see I’m starting to slip a bit more.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
153
153
Review of Irregular Holes  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello BariRandom Author Icon,

This review was supposed to be sent to you in January, and is the last I had stored in my Review Tool, for your anniversary month, before I got sidetracked. I’m reviewing today on behalf of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window..

I got myself immersed in your poem, "Irregular Holes" Open in new Window., immediately drawn to the evocative imagery and introspective tone. The opening lines hook: "You have irregular holes / Made by pieces / Long missing," immediately establishing a sense of vulnerability and fragmentation. This metaphorical exploration of the self as a landscape shaped by absence and loss sets the stage for a poignant reflection about the resilience and beauty amidst adversity.

Style-wise, your poem exhibited a sense of rawness and honesty, inviting this reader to confront the inherent imperfections and scars that define the human experience. The use of short, fragmented lines mirrored the fragmented nature of the self, creating a sense of intimacy and this immediacy. Your stylistic choice enhances the emotional impact of the poem, allowing a reader to connect on a deeper level with the speaker's inner turmoil and resilience.

Thematically, "Irregular Holes" dives into the dichotomy of vulnerability and strength, exploring how the presence of absence can shape one's identity. The repeated motif of holes, which to me was about symbolizing both emptiness and openness to the world, highlights the dual nature of human existence. The wind and rain, symbolic of external forces beyond one's control, I discern, serve as reminders of life's inherent fragility and unpredictability.

Poetic devices such as repetition and parallelism are employed effectively throughout the poem, lending a sense of rhythm and musicality to this text. The repetition of the phrase "You cry, cry, cry" underscores the emotional intensity of the speaker's experience, while also serving as a refrain that echoes the cyclical nature of human emotion. Additionally, the parallel structure of the lines "It’s so terrifying, / You cry, cry, cry" and "It’s so beautiful, / You cry, cry," juxtaposes fear and beauty, therfore emphasizing the complexity of the human condition.

I try to come with suggestions, things noticed that could lend food for thought down the road. In terms of what you could work with, consider experimenting with varying sentence structure/breaks to further enhance the poem's visual and auditory impact. Maybe, exploring additional sensory imagery inspired by the orange canyons and arches in Utah could deepen the reader's immersion in the poem's evocative landscape. I'm struck by poem's of place, drawing me into the awe and raw nature of what the experience might feel like. Not that often a poem can be magical like Oz, sending a reader to places in their mind.

Overall, I find "Irregular Holes" a captivating exploration of resilience, vulnerability, and the beauty found within imperfection. Your adept use of imagery, language, and poetic devices made this poem a poignant reflection on the complexities of the human soul. It was my delight to discover and consider for response. A pleasure again,

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!

Now for fresh coffee,
clear morning eyes,
hoping my text and grammar here
are readable enough to suffice
as review (not improptu)
without leaving any confusion.
Cheers!
*CoffeeBl*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
154
154
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello inkerod Author Icon,

Looking in on your poem, "A Leaf on the Ground" Open in new Window., I was immediately transported to the tranquil setting of a damp fall day, filled with the sights and sounds of nature. The opening lines you crafted, "On a damp Fall day, / When the air stings pleasantly, / And children play," created a vivid sensory experience for me, inviting this reader to immerse in the depicted scene. Through your use of descriptive language and evocative imagery, I felt something that was skillfully captured within the essence of the autumnal landscape, and to the speaker's waking, contemplative mood.

As to poem style, your offering exhibited a sense of simplicity and clarity, mirroring natural beauty and serenity of this setting. The use of short, descriptive phrases and straightforward language adds to the poem's lyrical quality and punch, enhancing readability and emotional resonance. This stylistic choice creates a sense of intimacy between reader and speaker, allowing a deeper connection with your poem's themes of beauty, transience, and mortality.

Thematically, your are exploring notions such as impermanence, beauty, and the interconnectedness of all living things. The speaker's encounter with the leaf serves as a meditation on the fleeting nature of existence and the profound beauty found in everyday moments. By juxtaposing grandeur of human creations with the simple elegance of nature, you invite readers to reevaluate their perceptions of beauty and significance. Thought provoking poetry is truly a bonus.

Poetic devices such as metaphor and symbolism are employed effectively throughout the poem, enriching this perceived understanding and emotional engagement involved. The metaphor of that leaf as a symbol of transient beauty and inevitable decay adds depth and complexity to the your well-executed thematic exploration. Additionally, the imagery of "water soaked leaf" and "firey suns" evoked a sense of wonder and awe at the interconnectedness of the natural world and the cosmos.

In terms of suggestions, I might suggest experimenting with varied line lengths and stanza structures to enhance a poem's visual appeal and rhythmic flow. However, perhaps for a future endeavor, to keep in mind. I would also say, exploring additional sensory imagery or concrete examples can help further immerse a reader into the speaker's contemplative experience, allowing us to grasp an even deeper emotional connection.

Overall, I found a poignant reflection on the fleeting beauty of nature and the enduring significance of simple moments. Your adept use of language, imagery, and poetic devices makes this piece a compelling ode to the wonders of the natural world.

It was a pleasure to once again look in and take in another of your poems to lend further feedback. This process of analyzing writing and seeing the world through eyes like your helps broaden my perception of the craft and of larger world in which we roam together but apart.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
Non-Animated Angel Army Signature

* I struggle with end stage glaucoma and hope that my review doesn't have typos or grammar errors that confuse, for which I apologize in advance.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
155
155
Review of Some Spark Devine  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello inkerod Author Icon,

Your poem, “Some Spark Devine," really spoke to me. I was immediately struck by the contemplative tone and a profound exploration of existential questions that people like me have encountered. The opening lines, "Did some spark devine, / With the double helix entwine?" set a philosophical tone, inviting this reader to ponder the mysteries of our shared existence and the nature of human consciousness. Through the use of rhetorical questions and introspective narration, you appear to skillfully engage the reader in a thought-provoking exploration of life's ultimate mysteries.

Stylistically, I find your poem exhibits a sense of introspection and curiosity, while reflecting the speaker's quest for understanding and meaning in the face of uncertainty. The use of enjambment and varied line lengths adds a sense of rhythm and fluidity to the poem, mirroring the ebb and flow of your philosophical inquiry. Nicely done. This stylistic choice enhances the poem's contemplative atmosphere, allowing the reader to immerse themselves in the speaker's existential musings.

Thematically, what I’ve discovered delves into the themes of destiny, free will, and the search for purpose in a seemingly indifferent universe. The depicted introspective journey serves as a meditation on the interconnectedness of all life and the enduring quest for transcendence. By posing existential questions and grappling with metaphysical concepts, you have invited readers to reflect on their own beliefs and philosophies regarding the nature of existence.

Poetic devices such as metaphor and symbolism are employed effectively throughout the poem, thus having enriched this reader's understanding and emotional engagement. The metaphor of "the double helix" serves as a symbol of genetic inheritance and the interconnectedness of all living beings, and to me is about evoking a sense of wonder and awe at the complexity of life. Additionally, the imagery of "the cold, dark night" and "the grave" underscores this existential weight of mortality and the impermanence of our human existence.

In terms of suggestions, you might consider experimenting with varied stanza structures or line breaks to enhance the poem's visual appeal and rhythmic flow. Additionally, exploring additional sensory imagery or concrete examples could further immerse the reader in the speaker's existential exploration, allowing for a deeper emotional connection. You have a great poem, as it stands.

Overall, I’m impressed by this as thought-provoking meditation on the mysteries of life and the human quest for meaning and understanding. Your adept use of language, imagery, and poetic devices made this poem a compelling reflection on the enduring mysteries of existence. It was a pleasure to discover and offer my insight.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
Non-Animated Angel Army Signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
156
156
Review of Hair  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Again BariRandom Author Icon,

This completes my mini review raid of your writing, like I said, meant for your 2nd WDC account anniversary in January. I’m reviewing for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

Reading your brief poem struck me with it's pure simplicity and depth of emotion that managed to conveyed through concise language. The opening lines, "Real life got caught in my hair/Tangled and messy, it yanked me back," immediately provided me with a sense of the entanglement and struggle about to begin. Through the metaphor of hair, you skillfully capture the complexities of navigating life's challenges and the ways in which external forces can exert control over our experiences. I'm also given to though of scalp and brain, as another dimension ins showing the perplexing frustration in engagement. This might not have been intended.

Stylistically, your poem was raw wityh a sense of vulnerability, inviting me into the speaker's intimate reflection on their journey. The use of short, declarative sentences mirrors the abruptness and immediacy of the emotional state while also conveying a sense of urgency and intensity. This poetic choice enhances the impact, allowing your readership to empathize with the speaker's inner turmoil and frustration.

Thematically, "Hair" explores interplay between personal identity and external influences, particularly within the context of relationships. The contrast between the speaker's tangled, messy hair and the buzz cut of their companion serves as a metaphor for differences between their personal experiences and perspectives. The image of hair being "Tangled and messy" symbolizes the speaker's struggle to maintain control over their own narrative, while the buzz cut represents a sense of detachment and detachment from societal norms. So, it seems with men and women, like a mother to father, he gets to be the fun guy. She is burdened...as in my current situation.

Poetic devices such as metaphor and imagery are employed effectively throughout the poem, enriching hopeful understanding and emotional engagement of your readers. The metaphor of hair as a symbol of personal experience and identity adds depth and complexity to this, allowing multiple layers of interpretation. I might also note (and do), the use of sensory imagery, such as "As we rode through the wind," creates a vivid and immersive atmosphere, drawing the reader into the speaker's world.

In terms of suggestions, I like to experiment with line lengths and stanza breaks to enhance to relp punctuation important sections of the read or help the poem's visual as well as auditory impact. I’m always restructuring my writing until I can feel the sounds and ideas flow. There's always opportunities in many a poem to explore additional metaphors or symbolic imagery (sometimes upgrading/swapping out) to further enrich the reader's experience and add depth to the impact of a thematic exploration in this or any poem attempted.

For me, your poem "Hair" is a poignant reflection of identity, relationships, and the ways in which we navigate life's challenges. Your adept use of language, imagery, and poetic devices makes this poem compelling in its exploration of theme, the human experience. It’s been a pleasure. Hope to read you again one day.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
157
157
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
A review of:
 No Hero of the Mind Open in new Window. (E)
maundering
#2306593 by inkerod Author IconMail Icon

Title Description: maundering

Hello inkerod Author Icon,

Been awhile since I opened this up, prepared to review back in January. Now I'm trying to get adjusted with lower vision to lend feedback on your poem. When I started to consume "No Hero Of The Mind," I was found myself struck by an introspective tone and a poignant exploration of creativity, isolation, and existential longing. Right from the opening lines, "They said he was no genius, / No hero of the mind was he," a somber tone is being set, inviting this reader to contemplate the struggles of an individual grappling with feelings of inadequacy and alienation. Through the evocative imagery and introspective narration, you impressed with how you capture the internal conflict and existential angst experienced by the poem's speaker.

Stylistically, I envision your poem to show a sense of intimacy and vulnerability, drawing this reader into the speaker's inner world. The use of short, declarative sentences and straightforward language enhances the poem's emotional impact, allowing your readership to empathize with this mindful journey of self-discovery and self-doubt. Your approach to the piece mirrors the simplicity and clarity of thought, characteristic of introspective reflection, which created a sense of immediacy that felt authentic.

Thematically, I came to realize your words explore the tension between societal expectations and personal aspirations, particularly within the context of creative expression. This is impactful for me as creative expression loses to the norm, is not value or incentivized but quashed by what's around us. The depicted struggle to reconcile one's own sense of worth with external judgments, highlights the universal desire we may all feel for validation and recognition. Although, hand-tied when told not to seek it. By juxtaposing the speaker's internal turmoil with the fleeting nature of existence, you underscore the urgency of embracing one's passions and pursuing one's dreams. It reminds that this is something preyed upon and easily manipulated when we are divided, alone and vulnerable.

Poetic devices such as metaphor and imagery are employed effectively throughout the poem, enriching for me, and imagine a reader's introspect of need of understanding and emotional engagement. The metaphor of "reaching for that shimmering moon" serves as a powerful symbol of ambition and longing, evoking a sense of aspiration and lonely wonder. The moon is a symbol of the only thing that sees or can absorb these feelings, given that it in night time when more likely to despair. Additionally, the imagery of the "blank page" and the "pen" as vessels for the speaker's emotions underscores the transformative power of artistic expression within our writing as a means of self-discovery and catharsis. It is through this process I find truth, or the closest thing to it.

In terms of suggestions, I usually suggest experimenting with varying a poem's line lengths and stanza structures for visual appeal or breaks that lend to a more natural read or rhythmic flow. I would also lean into words that can add sensory imagery that might further immerse the reader in the speaker's emotional landscape, allowing for a deeper emotional connection. The moon is a great symbol and could further be fleshed out. Or, for that next poem, when you think of images that arrive when connecting to those personal feelings.

Overall, what you have offered is a poignant meditation on the complexities of creativity, identity, and the human condition. Your adept use of language, imagery, and poetic devices makes this poem a compelling look inside what to me seems a universal quest for meaning and purpose with looming existentialism. Thank you for sharing and allowing me to read and react to it.

Sincerely,

Brian

WDC Angel Army Reviewer
Non-Animated Angel Army Signature

As I've said, I have vision problems. So, sorry if anything sounds off, from these stray fingers to lost or unformed thoughts in transition, to overcorrecting grammar and the editing process. It's the ADHD in me that nitpicks at all I write and display.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
158
158
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Spencer Bardot Author Icon,

I read your inspirational poem, "Shall Wear A Crown" Open in new Window., which I've been meaning to comment upon for some time. Had a brief respite from the site.

With 'Shall Wear A Crown', I was immediately struck by an uplifting tone and message of resilience. The opening lines, "Charming is the one that sings, / A glorious melody of glee," set a celebratory tone. This reader felt invited to embrace joy and positivity despite life's challenges. Through the use of musical imagery and emotive language, you effectively convey the power of self-expression and inner strength.

Stylistically, your poem has exhibited a sense of elegance and grace that exudes, reflecting the regal theme you have woven throughout the text. And, the use of rhyming couplets and consistent meter adds a sense of rhythm and musicality to the poem, enhancing a smooth, lyrical quality. This formal structure serves to reinforce the poem's message of resilience and empowerment, providing a sense of stability and order amidst the uncertainty of life.

Thematically, I considered this poem, to explore how the journey towards self-acceptance and inner peace develops, particularly because of the adversity and hardship. The image of wearing a crown serves as a powerful metaphor for embracing one's true identity and inherent worth, this, regardless of societal expectations or external judgments. By highlighting the importance of courage and authenticity, you inspire readers like me to reclaim their power and dignity in the face of adversity. It's unfortunate that these things impose on well meaning people.

Poetic devices such as metaphor and personification feel to be have been employed effectively throughout the poem, enriching the emotional engagement and understanding a reader might experience.

The personification of sadness as a "frail façade" added depth and complexity to the text, humanizing the experience of one's emotional vulnerability. Also, the metaphor of wearing a crown symbolizes the triumph of resilience and self-awareness, allowing me to envision how one might claim royalty in their own lives.

On Message: It's true about heartache and courage. To have a passion for something and to fight through adversity to still hold it is a powerful thing. It seems we render ourselves weak when we don't have that balance. The facade is unfortunate. We are forced to put on a front, perhaps to preserve us from further heartache. It's a mask I throw away and bare my soul where it applies. It's tough choosing, but having faith in oneself and focus on the prize, bring resolve. It helps to be self-reliant, though we still depend on loved ones in those crucial times.

In terms of any suggestion, you could consider exploring additional imagery or sensory details to further immerse a reader within the poem's thematic landscape. Additionally, experimenting with varied stanza structures or line breaks could enhance a poem's visual and auditory impact, allowing for greater flexibility and creativity in expression.

Overall, this poem for me was a stirring ode to resilience, self-acceptance, and the transformative power of courage. You offer an adept use of language, imagery, and poetic devices to make this poem reveal a timeless message of hope and inspiration that many readers from all backgrounds might find appealing.

A pleasure and happy to lend comment to your poetry today.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
Newbie Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!

I'm struggling with worsening low vision and apologize for any errata. I'm trying to pace myself now and give my eyes a break. I affiliate this review with the group above, but the words are my own.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
159
159
Review of The Rules  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello BariRandom Author Icon,

I’m reviewing for my group and came upon your haiku, "The Rules" Open in new Window.. It was supposed to be an Anniversary Review Project, before I had to step away from WDC early this year. Anyway…

Upon reading your haiku about “The Rules,” I was immediately struck by the introspective tone and relatable theme that you’ve crafted. The opening line, "They told me I'd win," sets the stage for a journey of expectation and eventual disillusionment (as I’ve encountered, too), and it’s a sentiment i’m sure many potential haiku lovers would empathize with. The use of the pronoun "me" personalized the experience, which should draw in a reader into the speaker's perspective.

You apply the traditional 5-7-5 syllable structure, which offers that sense of brevity and succinctness with this style of poem. A formal constraint contrasts poignantly with the theme of confinement and restriction, which was explored within the poem. The juxtaposition of form and content enhances the overall impact of your piece.

The repetition of the word "rules" in both the first and last lines i also observed. it reinforces the central theme and adds a layer of emphasis. By bookending the poem with this word, you underscore the frustration and disillusionment in described experience, despite efforts to comply with societal expectations. This repetition serves as a rhetorical device, driving home the poem's message with clarity and strong emphasis.

The haiku also employs the technique of enjambment effectively, particularly in the second line: "If I followed all the rules." Here, the sentence flows seamlessly from one line to the next, creating a sense of continuity and fluidity. This technique mirrors the ongoing struggle depicted in the poem, as the speaker grapples with the consequences of their actions. I speak to this further on.

If I were to suggest anything that could improve or just to inform, even if constructing that next poem, here’s a few thoughts: it’s possible toconsider experimenting with different line breaks to enhance rhythm and pacing in a poem. Exploring varied imagery could be another way to further enrich your reader's experience while adding depth to the thematic exploration.

More specifically: To fully get your point across about rules, as it’s tied to winning but winding up lost. You may have left out something. Tackling the short form that requires exposition is difficult. ‘Lost’ could more strongly told with another detail about what lead to the narrator’s conclusion.

What I do: I’d visualized the moment of truth; did they lie, mislead, or maybe naive enough to lend encouraging advice that doesn’t account for the way the world really works? Was it mom and dad, society with its fairytale endings, misguided or misdirected? Sometimes, authority fails us because it is flawed, hides behind its rules like a wizard in Oz…because rules aren’t simple, have loopholes, hard to interpret, achieve.

Suggestion: Have a touchstone, like a visual, that helps a reader see an athletic competition, or vying for job, or as writer, seeking publication. Shorter poems make you think harder, forcing every word to speak, interconnect — like puzzling, only a subjective image/ideal, albeit undeniable truth. It’s in the process of writing and pushing to get through the obstacles tohat will help your readership’s perception and appreciation of your vision and toil for words that ultimately wins.

Overall, "The Rules," for me, is a thought-provoking haiku that did well captured relatable complexities of societal expectations with the disappointment that can accompany conformity. Your adept use of form and language makes this poem a compelling reflection of your skill that will only get better.

A pleasure to have found this haiku that I might lend some feedback. A belated Happy 2nd Anniversary, anyway. Only four months ago. *Bigsmile*

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
A would-be anniversary reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!

I’m legally blind, write with an iPad (ironic but non-ironically). You might notecerrors. Apologies for any confusion.

I am affiliating this review today. More important, I stand behind these words to offer the best suggestions and encouragement I’m able to provide. I’m only doing one a day for now, toe in water. Emptying my review tool, as I go. One review could be an hour of my life and am glad to offer whatever I can in a safe and friendly writing community where I’ve thrived now for too long. Peace

FORUM
The Red Wheelbarrow Forum Open in new Window. (E)
We only see the worst when we could see the best in something.
#1390406 by Brian K Compton, random? Author IconMail Icon

Hopefully, fingers cracked, pencils sharpened, I’ll be ready for the task of reviewing my poetry contest entrants next month.

Phew!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
160
160
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)

Dear Jruns890 Author Icon,

Sorry my review is cryptic. I have to limit screen time with low vision. Overdid it a bit last year *Laugh*.

Here’s what I gleaned from "Sucking out the poison " Open in new Window..

Takeaways:

Emotional Impact: The poem does well to convey strong emotions, vividly illustrates the contrast between toxic and healing relationships. It could create a powerful emotional journey for a reader, with focus on personal growth and recovery.

Imagery and Metaphors: Vivid imagery and metaphors, such as comparing the toxic individual to a snake and Belladonna, and the healing person to honey and sunshine, paints a clear and evocative pictures. This strengthens emotional depth and resonance of your poem.

Contrast and Resolution: The poem structure, beginning with negative emotions and transitioning to positive, provided a satisfying narrative arc. This shift from despair to hope underscores the theme of finding healing and positivity after a period of pain.

Universal Themes: This poem was felt for universal themes of hurt, recovery, and the impact of positive relationships. This relatability can connect a wide audience, making this poem accessible and meaningfully relatable to many.

One suggestion for Improvement:

One area of the poem you could enhance is refining the flow and rhythm. While the emotional content is strong, smoothing out the transitions between lines could improve the overall readability and impact. For example, consider breaking the lines differently to create a more cohesive flow:

~ just a suggestion:

You filled me with rage,
anger, hate, hostility.
You were like a snake,
striking fast and hard —
or Belladonna,
paralyzing poison soaking through (saturating) my soul.

You should know,
I found someone who treats me right,
someone like honey
in a bite of lemon —
a ray of sunshine
on a dark, gloomy day.
Someone who always has
a kind word to say,
feels like a warm hug
on a cold winter day.
Someone who helps
heal my heart
and suck out the poison.


I tightened it up a bit. This slight reformatting can help maintain the reader’s engagement and emphasize the emotional contrasts your poem offers more effectively. It was a pleasure to consider this piece and offer my feedback.

Regards,

Brian
WDC Angel Army
~~Image #1188309 Sharing Restricted~~

Please forgive any errors.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
161
161
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear iKïyå§ama Author Icon,

Did it! All seven puzzles. Figures I'd save the hardest for last. So b. 225lue blocked, only 67 out of 225 letters not used.

These were great challenges and distractions for me today. Thank you for the GoT challenges that I stumbled into while perusing newsfeed. Now back to my irregularly scheduled waste of time. *Laugh* Just noticed the last three letters of laugh or ugh! *Laugh*

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
162
162
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Always fun when. that box lights up, especially for this difficult puzzle since the names are foreign to me, except for an earlier search for one of the puzzles on what's south of two places. what really had me were all the long backwards words going from the bottom left corner up. So many names, the entire search was nearly all blue blocks!

Thanks again for the entertainment. One to go.

Brian
163
163
Review of -My First Winter-  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear iKïyå§ama Author Icon

Been a long time since I've created one of these, let alone tried my hand at one. The idea usually to be silly and absurd but I had a feeling I could make this one more poetic with my word choices:


Your (my) madlib...


(S)nowmen had never seen anything like it. your eyes were aglow with excitement; nose pressed against the window with mouth ajar. When beans called, I could barely wait as I slid your arms into the bright eloquent jacket with its hood tied snugly beneath your neck. On your feet were matching eloquent boots I was so very proud of, and as your tiny hands were fitted into the majestic and silent wool mittens, I hopped with impatience.

“Let’s hurry, beans! We’re going to miss it!”

I tugged on beans arm as they left the house and into the cold, where your squeals of delight would mingle with mittens happy laughter. snowmen dashed into the coal, spinning around and looking up at the heavens as tiny white snowflakes fell upon your ecstatic features. I stuck out a tongue to taste the tiny white jewels to descend from the sky, and fell to your knees to gather up the pile to accumulate.

How sparkling it was. So fleet. So prominent.

“Snow, beans!” snowmen would cry out proudly. “It’s snow!”

For it was your very first winter, where a place once called Heaven was now the most magical place in the world.

A little bit of you; a little bit of me. (a bidirectional relationship...something I stumbled upon while googling answers to today's puzzles.

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer

Animated Signature for Premium Members
164
164
Review of -Spring Cometh!-  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear iKïyå§ama Author Icon,

Another great challenge for my withering brain today. Took 20 minutes. I've enjoyed this since I was a kid and developed a strategy for solving. take the first letter of a word and check the eight letters directly around it for the second to follow where it goes and easy with pencil or a cursor to follow down the lines for the great surprises hidden. Springcleaning taking up the entire low to upper vertical was difficult to highlight beside a few stubborn words like blossom and march that didn't want to admit they were found for some reason until several highlights got the word crossed off the list.

On to the next one. Thanks again for the distraction.

Brian the scrambled Brain
WDC Angel Army Reviewer

Animated Signature for Premium Members
165
165
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a bit challenging, especially having toget familiar with Game Of Thrones which I made a conscious decision not to watch.

I find googling answers to fill the puzzles requirements was very rewarding. My brain needs more challenges like this. Event the internet couldn't come up with a few of the answers like 'fling' or 'sunscreen,' which the online thesaurus didn't offer for sunblock.

Thanks again for filling my time with this distraction. It's a nice break from the usual chaos, broken dish today, ipad in water yesterday. Meh. Downtime.

I'll try to hit some of the other distractions posted in newsfeed.

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
Animated Signature for Premium Members
166
166
Review of On the Sidelines  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Response poem in review of: "On the Sidelines" Open in new Window.

Get in the Game

I am prosperity, what you've longed for,
Yet on the sidelines, you hesitate, ignore.
Determination's flame brought you to this place,
But sitting idly won't win the life's race.

The ambition's fire inside your heart,
Must be ignited from the very start.
On the bench, your dreams remain confined,
But on the field of action, they're redefined.

Adrenaline surges, your dream's not a dream,
It's a path, a journey, not as distant as it seems.
When opportunity knocks, don't just let it be,
Rise to the occasion, claim your destiny.

In the game of life, you hold the key,
To unlock the door to prosperity.
It's time to step up, embrace the call,
For in action and effort, you'll find your all.

Brian


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
167
167
Review of Worm Meets Apple  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Josh S. Author Icon,

"Worm Meets Apple" is a delightful and whimsical exploration of a conversation between a worm and an apple. The poem embraces a comedic tone, weaving humor into the exchange between these unlikely characters. There arevarious elements of the poem I’d like to point out, including its style, theme, form, poetic devices, and other noteworthy aspects.

The style of the poem is marked by its light-hearted and humorous approach. The dialogue between the worm and the apple creates a playful dynamic, engaging readers with the comedic interplay between the two characters. The language is accessible and straightforward, enhancing the overall charm of the piece. The use of dialogue as a narrative device adds a theatrical quality, allowing readers to envision the amusing exchange unfolding.

The main theme centers around the humorous interaction between the worm and the apple, highlighting their contrasting perspectives on status and identity. The poem playfully explores notions of nobility, honor, and pedigree through the whimsical dialogue. The theme aligns with comedic traditions, employing satire to gently poke fun at social hierarchies and notions of superiority.

The form of the poem consists of short, quippy lines that contribute to its rhythmic and comedic quality. The brevity of the lines enhances the pacing, allowing the humor to land with precision. The poem follows a conversational structure, with each character taking turns expressing their thoughts. This conversational style contributes to the comedic flow of the narrative.

Poetic devices, such as rhyme and personification, add to the overall whimsy. The rhyme scheme, evident in lines like "lean" and "green" or "agree" and "pedigree," adds a musicality to the verses. Personifying the apple and the worm imbues them with distinct personalities, creating a relatable and amusing exchange between the two characters.

Suggestion for improvement could involve expanding on these comedic elements and introducing additional layers of humor. Consider incorporating more wordplay, puns, or unexpected twists to enhance the comedic impact. For example, you might explore the absurdity of the worm and apple engaging in a conversation about nobility and pedigree, playing up the incongruity for comedic or ironic effect.

Experiment with variations in line length or structure to emphasize key moments or punchlines within the poem. Adjusting the pacing through strategic line breaks can enhance the overall rhythm and impact of the comedic elements. Readers will take cue from a strategically structed poem.

I found "Worm Meets Apple" to be a charming and humorous piece that should captivate a particular reading audience, with its playful use of dialogue and the depicted comedic and farcical approach to identity. Its light-hearted style and thematic focus can make this an enjoyable and entertaining poem that successfully engages with its comedic intent.

I'm happy to have discovered your poetry that I may lend this feedback.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
168
168
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Serendipitypity Author Icon,

It’s a little early, but offering a review in recognition of your first anniversary in this writing community.

"Through The Grape Vine" is a thoughtful journey of love, separation, and the enduring connection through the metaphorical grapevine. Let's explore the notable aspects of this heartfelt poem you’ve crafted.

The poem's style is characterized by its lyrical and reflective nature. The choice of language and imagery creates a vivid and emotional landscape. The portrayal of the woman in the sticks, dancing on daisies and swaying through thorns, paints a picture of a complex and vibrant character. The phrase "letters that drove me crazy" conveys the intensity of emotions, introducing an element of longing and desire.

The theme of love is central, and the use of the grapevine as a metaphor adds depth to the narrative. The grapevine becomes more than a physical connection; it symbolizes the enduring thread that ties the narrator to the woman. This theme resonates with readers on a universal level, as many can relate to the complexities and challenges of love, especially when separated by physical distance.

The form of the poem contributes to its emotive impact. The progression from the initial joy and admiration to the heartbreaking separation is well-crafted. The introduction of the north wind and the subsequent temptation add a layer of conflict and tragedy, creating a compelling narrative arc. The poem effectively captures the cyclical nature of love, echoing the ebb and flow of emotions.

The poetic devices employed, such as alliteration in "Softly spoken and ailment based in stride," enhance the rhythmic quality of the poem. This line, in particular, conveys the gentleness of the north wind and introduces an element of inevitability. The use of personification in "The sun, ungainly in its rays, could bear no soul" adds a touch of melancholy, depicting the emotional impact of the woman's departure.

The symbolism of the Mastaba as a resting place for the woman and her Kingsman adds a layer of cultural and historical richness. It invites readers to contemplate the significance of this choice and reflects on the complexity of life and death.

A suggestion for improvement could involve exploring more vivid sensory details in the initial stages of the poem. Providing specific images or moments that capture the essence of the woman's presence in the sticks could further enhance the reader's connection to the characters and setting.

I say this often: Consider experimenting with line breaks and stanza structures to emphasize certain emotions or shifts in the narrative. For instance, breaking lines during moments of tension or realization can enhance the poem's rhythm and impact.

"Through The Grape Vine" is a beautifully crafted exploration of love, loss, and the enduring connections that persist even beyond physical separation. Its rich imagery, emotional depth, and skillful use of metaphor make it a resonant and memorable piece. A pleasure to have read your writing that I might offer this feedback. Have a happy anniversary, too.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
abd Anniversary Reviewer
Image #power over display limit. -?-





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
169
169
Review of Within  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Jamie Gonzalez Author Icon,

It’s your second WDC Anniversary coming up! Being such, I dug into your writing here to see if I can offer a review in recognition. Let's explore the depths of the poem "Within," a profound and emotive piece that speaks to the weight of self-created worlds and the beauty found within darkness.

The poem's style is marked by its simplicity and raw emotive power. The use of short, impactful lines contributes to the intensity of the emotions conveyed. The brevity of each line mirrors the weight carried by the speaker, creating a palpable sense of heaviness. This style effectively conveys the internal struggle and the burden the speaker bears.

The theme of darkness is pervasive, woven throughout the verses to create a vivid and enchanting portrayal. Darkness is not merely absence but a presence in itself, described as "beautiful and enchanting." This nuanced exploration of darkness as a reflection of the soul adds layers to the theme. It invites readers to contemplate the multifaceted nature of the speaker's internal world.

The form of the poem, particularly the use of short lines and stanzas, enhances its impact. The fragmentation mirrors the fractured nature of the speaker's thoughts and emotions. Each short stanza feels like a glimpse into the inner workings of the mind, creating an intimate connection between the speaker and the reader.

The metaphor of late books in a library waiting to be put back in their place is a striking and relatable image. It captures the weight of unresolved decisions and choices, stacking up like overdue books. This metaphor effectively conveys the sense of responsibility and the looming threat of consequences, enhancing the thematic depth.

Poetic devices, such as personification in "Each book telling my story," bring a vividness to the narrative. The books become witnesses, each with its own perspective, pages, paragraphs, and words contributing to the intricate layers of the speaker's identity. This personification breathes life into the metaphor, making it more than a mere analogy.

Suggestion for improvement might involve exploring opportunities to delve deeper into specific emotions or experiences that contribute to the heavy weight carried by the speaker. Consider expanding on the nuances of the beautiful darkness, providing readers with more insight into the complexities of the speaker's inner world.

Experiment with varied line lengths or structures to add a rhythmic dynamic to the poem. For instance, a longer, flowing line could contrast with the shorter, impactful lines, creating a sense of ebb and flow that mirrors the emotional landscape.

It was great considering, "Within,” a compelling exploration of the burdens we carry, and the beauty found within our own internal darkness. Its raw emotive power, vivid and stark imagery, plus effective use of metaphor, creates a resonant and thought-provoking offering that many can deeply connect with here.

It was a pleasure getting to know your writing and offering comment. Have a great anniversary month.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
170
170
Review of Bridges  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary inkerod Author Icon,

I took a look at your webpages and found plenty to review, to here now acknowledge your first anniversary at WDC with some reviews. Let's delve into "Bridges," which is a captivating narrative poem that weaves together themes of isolation, division, and the consequences of a hardened heart. The poem unfolds with a storytelling quality, blending vivid characters and an intriguing plotline.

The style of "Bridges" is marked by its narrative clarity, offering a distinct voice that carries the reader through the life and transformation of Harman. You, as poet, employ a conversational tone, allowing the reading audience to connect with the unfolding drama. The use of rhyming couplets adds a rhythmic quality to the verses, contributing to the poem's storytelling charm.

The overarching theme revolves around the consequences of Harman's aversion to bridges, both literal and metaphorical. The poem explores the impact of isolation, stubbornness, and the choices we make that shape our destinies. Harman's rejection of bridges becomes symbolic of his resistance to connections and the walls he builds around himself.

The form of your poem, utilizing rhyming couplets and a steady narrative flow, does well to enhance the storytelling aspect. The use of dialogue, such as Harman's defiant shouts, adds dynamism to the narrative, making readers feel the tension of the moment. The structured rhyme scheme aids in the poem's overall cohesion, providing a melodic quality to the unfolding tale.

Poetic devices, including metaphors and vivid imagery, enrich the narrative. The line "Something there is that doesn't love a wall" serves as a literary allusion, referencing Robert Frost's poem "Mending Wall." This adds depth to the narrative, inviting readers to consider the broader implications of Harman's resistance to bridges.

Suggestion for improvement might involve exploring opportunities to deepen the emotional impact of Harman's journey. Consider really getting into Harman's internal thoughts and emotions, provide readers with some deeper insights into the motivations behind his choices. This could further humanize the character and foster a stronger empathetic connection with those who approach this poem..

Experimenting with varying the length and structure of sentences to create dynamic pacing might also be useful, especially during pivotal moments in the narrative that could use extra emphasis. For instance, consider shorter, impactful sentences to further the intensity of Harman's shouts and the climactic scenes.

In conclusion, "Bridges" is a captivating narrative that explores themes of isolation and the consequences of resisting connections. Its storytelling charm, combined with effective use of rhyme and metaphor, makes it an engaging piece that prompts reflection on the impact of our choices. It also offers something for well-read poetry aficionados who can see the deeper connections.

A pleasure to have found you and your writing during your anniversary month.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer
Image #power over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
171
171
Review of Passing  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary crimsonette Author Icon,

An entire decade a member on this website and I stumbled into your writing looking for prose poems to read. So, to celebrate your account anniversary this month, a review of this particular offering.

Your prose poem "Passing" is a poignant contemplation of the cycle of life and significance of the moments between birth and death. The opening lines immediately draw the reader into a contemplative space, evoking emotions associated with loss and the transient nature of existence. The language is straightforward yet infused with a deep sense of reflection.

Your style is marked by simplicity and a directness of expression that enhances the emotional resonance of the poem. The use of imperative verbs in the opening lines, such as "Roll the stone," and "wipe away the tears," adds a sense of urgency, prompting the reader to engage with the themes of mortality and grief. The concise and declarative sentences contribute to the overall impact, allowing each statement to stand with its own emotional weight.

The theme revolves around the inevitability of death and the importance of cherishing the time spent between birth and passing. The metaphor of rolling a stone in front of a tomb symbolizes the finality of death, while the emphasis on celebrating shared time reflects a positive perspective on remembering the deceased. The poem encourages a focus on happy memories, laughter, love, and joy as enduring elements that outlast the physical presence of a loved one.

Formally, the prose poem structure allows for a fluid exploration of the theme, unencumbered by traditional verse constraints. The seamless flow of sentences mirrors the continuous nature of life and death, emphasizing the cyclical aspect of existence. Consider experimenting with brief pauses or varied sentence structures to introduce subtle shifts in rhythm, adding a dynamic quality to the contemplative narrative.

Poetic devices, such as metaphor and repetition, contribute to the emotional depth of the poem. The metaphor of rolling a stone in front of a tomb serves as a powerful image, encapsulating the finality of death. The repetition of phrases like "wipe away the tears" and "now is not the time to cry" creates a rhythmic refrain, underscoring the poem's emotional guidance. To further enrich the poetic elements, consider exploring variations in language or introducing subtle symbolism that enhances the layers of meaning within the contemplative exploration.

This introspective piece reflects on the transient nature of life, urging readers to focus on the positive aspects of shared experiences. Continue to experiment with poetic devices to deepen that emotional and thematic resonance. Your ability to convey profound reflections with simplicity and directness showcases a keen sensitivity to the human experience.

A pleasure. Happy Anniversary!

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer
Image #power over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
172
172
Review of Closest Friend  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Burntpoet Author Icon,

Your prose poem, "Closest Friend,” offers a surreal and whimsical journey through vividly imagined landscapes, invoking a sense of playful chaos and linguistic exploration. The opening lines immediately thrust the reader into a fantastical realm, where goats moo amidst fields of ginger and bread pudding. The use of unexpected and whimsical imagery sets the stage for a unique and imaginative narrative. The prose opens with a cascade of absurd and fantastical elements, evoking a dreamlike atmosphere.

Your style is characterized by its unrestrained and whimsical use of language, creating a kaleidoscopic tapestry of images and sensations. The melding of seemingly unrelated elements, such as goats, ginger, and a giant yet fertile toilet, contributes to the overall surreal quality of the prose. The playful tone is enhanced by phrases like "swash-buckling knees and tomato," which blend humor and creativity. This style invites readers to revel in the unpredictable nature of the narrative, embracing the chaotic beauty of imagination.

The theme of imaginative exploration and the interplay of seemingly disparate elements weave through the prose. The use of fantastical imagery creates a sense of whimsy and unpredictability, inviting readers to suspend disbelief and engage with the narrative on a creative level. The theme emphasizes the boundless nature of the imagination and the joy found in the unexpected connections between diverse concepts.

Formally, the prose piece adopts a free-flowing structure, unconstrained by traditional punctuation or line breaks. This form allows for a continuous stream of consciousness, mirroring the unrestrained nature of imagination. Consider experimenting with brief pauses or varied sentence structures to introduce moments of emphasis or rhythm, adding a dynamic quality to the narrative.

Poetic devices, such as alliteration and unexpected juxtapositions, play a significant role in enhancing the whimsical atmosphere. The alliteration in "swash-buckling knees" adds a rhythmic quality, contributing to the playfulness of the prose. The unexpected juxtaposition of elements, like "ginger and bread pudding," creates surprise and engages the reader's imagination. To further enrich the poetic elements, consider exploring metaphorical language or symbolic connections within the fantastical imagery.

"Closest Friend" is a delightful journey through a realm of creative imagination, celebrating the joy found in linguistic play and unexpected connections. Consider refining the form to enhance its dynamic quality, and continue to explore poetic devices to deepen the imaginative and thematic resonance. Your ability to craft a whimsical and unpredictable narrative showcases a keen sense of creativity.

It was treat to discover thieving your writing after 22 years on Writing.Com. Happy Anniversary!

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer
Image #power over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
173
173
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Peremos Author Icon,

"Humanity’s Last Funeral" invites me into a contemplative space, reflecting on the passing of humanity and the Earth's response to our absence. The poem considers themes of mortality, nature's resilience, and the enduring connection between humans and their home. Im interested in exploring various elements of this piece, including its style, theme, form, poetic devices, and any noteworthy aspects that should come up.

The style of your poem is marked by an introspective and reflective tone, inviting readers like me who ponder as well the consequences of humanity's departure and the Earth's subsequent transformation. The language is poignant, while conveying a sense of melancholy and nostalgia. The use of vivid imagery, such as "The Earth laments" and "Raindrops join in," creates a visual and sensory experience that enhances the emotional impact of your proferred poem.

The overarching theme seems to revolve around the cyclical nature of life and death, framed within the context of humanity's impact on the Earth. The poem contemplates the Earth's mourning for the loss of human presence and the subsequent renewal of nature in our absence. It explores the idea of a world thriving without human interference, presenting a bittersweet reflection on our fleeting existence. For some, this might be considered a reverence for this planet, that if it isn’t taken care of, all will die. And, humankind is responsible and clearly in the way of restoring what earth gives to sustain life. Another check in the AI column to terminate our species.

The form of the poem consists of quatrains with a consistent rhyme scheme, contributing to its rhythmic and melodic quality. The regularity of the form enhances the flow of the narrative and provides a sense of continuity, mirroring the cyclical themes within the poem. The use of enjambment, such as in "Raindrops join in, completing the scene," creates a seamless transition between lines, contributing to the fluidity of your poem.

Poetic devices, including personification and metaphor, enrich the poem with evocative imagery and emotional depth. The Earth is personified as a mourning entity, lamenting humanity's final act and offering its own flowers in response. The imagery of wind swaying leaves and raindrops joining in a harmonious melody imbues the Earth with a sense of agency and emotional expression. Earth likely will outlive man at the current rate of consumption. I’m reminded the urgency of the situation is very real.

Suggestion for improvement could involve exploring additional facets of the Earth's transformation in the absence of humanity. Consider looking at specific examples of nature reclaiming spaces or thriving anew. This could further emphasize the poem's themes and provide readers with a more immersive experience of the Earth's post-human landscape. I can envision something opening with various locations around the world, quieted, except peaceful in continuation. Silence, as if a camera cuts to every corner of the world. If a write like a script, something otherwise. Reviewing helps me stir new notions of what to write. This inspires creative juices for others.

You might be able to experiment with variations in line length or structure to emphasize key moments or emotions within the poem. Adjusting the pacing through strategic line breaks can enhance the overall rhythm and impact of the poem, guiding readers through the emotional landscape you've crafted. Just to consider for this or anything you write that clearly demonstrates messages/concepts to your readers.

"Humanity’s Last Funeral" strikes one as a contemplative and poignant exploration of the Earth's response to the end of human existence. Its introspective style, evocative imagery, and thematic depth make it a reflective piece that prompts readers to consider the interplay between humanity and the natural world.

A dark and intriguing journey for a reader to consume and internalize. Thank you for sharing.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
174
174
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Hmm? Author Icon,

"Weathering the Swan" Open in new Window. unfolds as a poignant prose poem, weaving themes of vulnerability, resilience, and the unpredictable nature of emotional storms. The opening lines immediately evoke a vivid image of a swan in distress, falling like a drugged creature with flapping wings and honking. This surreal and striking imagery sets the stage for a narrative that delves into the complexities of emotional states. The choice of the swan as a metaphor adds an elegant yet fragile layer to the piece.

Your style is characterized by a seamless blend of evocative language and emotional resonance. The metaphorical use of a swan falling, juxtaposed with the sickly warmth of paralysis, creates a visceral experience for the reader. The repetition of "Inner calmness defends" offers a rhythmic quality, emphasizing the internal struggle against the impending storm. Collectively, this invites readers to immerse themselves in this emotional landscape, connecting with the vulnerability expressed in the proffered prose.

The theme revolves around the unpredictable nature of emotional experiences and the resilience required to weather internal storms. The swan becomes a metaphor for vulnerability, and the calmness before the storm represents a fragile tranquility. The acknowledgment that we can't control the weather but can choose appropriate responses resonates with your well-developed theme of accepting the ebb and flow of emotions. This theme invites introspection of a delicate balance depicted between vulnerability and resilience.

Formally, the prose poem structure allows for a fluid exploration of emotions, with the metaphor of weather serving as a cohesive thread throughout the piece. The fragmented structure captures the unpredictability of emotional states, mirroring the sudden shifts in weather. To enhance the form, consider experimenting with your line breaks or varied sentence structures that could introduce subtle shifts in pacing, emphasizing the emotional intensity of this piece.

Poetic devices, particularly metaphor and repetition, contribute to the emotional depth of your poem. The swan metaphor serves as a powerful symbol, encapsulating vulnerability and the struggle against internal turmoil. The repetition of "Inner calmness defends" emphasizes the internal conflict, creating a rhythmic refrain that echoes the resilience within. To further enrich these poetic elements, consider exploring variations in language or introducing subtle symbolism that enhances the layers of your poem’s meaning.

Beautifully crafted exploration of vulnerability and resilience in your prose piece that well employs metaphoric and emotive language. It may have been some time, and it’s not likely there will be any edit, but consider how refining can enhance its dynamic quality, while experimenting with poetic devices to deepen the emotional and thematic resonance. Your ability to convey complex emotions through vivid imagery showcases a keen sensitivity to the craft.

A pleasure to read and consider for this feedback. Happy accountvanniversary.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer
Image #power over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
175
175
Review of Sad Faces  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Lyons Valentine Author Icon,

"Sad Faces" is a telling poem about isolation and the inability to find happiness. It navigates on themes of loneliness, nostalgia, and the desire for connection. The juxtaposition of sad faces and the longing for a return to happier times creates a powerful emotional undertone. There are various elements at play here, looking at style, theme, form, poetic devices, and otger noteworthy items.

The style of the poem is characterized by its stark and emotive language, effectively conveying the speaker's deep sense of isolation and the yearning for a return to happier days. The repetition of "sad faces" and the contrasting memories of friendship accentuate the emotional weight of the piece. The poem's simplicity contributes to its raw and unfiltered expression of complex emotions. It borders on madness and imagery as grotesque as self-harming or perhaps another by using a knife to fashion a smile. Perhaps, commentary on fake or false smiles.

The overarching theme revolves around the impact of loneliness and the struggle to find solace in the face of sadness. The poem explores the transformation of familiar faces from sources of comfort to symbols of isolation. Perhaps, one can feel forgotten, neglected abd more. Like mother is the only place tomyurn, with a letter (from college?) The plea for the faces to "smile once again" and the desire to carve a smile demonstrate an attempt to reclaim a sense of connection and joy, but not so playfully. (College is a place for young people to feel isolated and alone. Sadness could turn to madness, or the poet’s pen.)

The form of the poem is notable for its straightforward structure, consisting of short and direct lines. The concise nature of each stanza adds to the poem's impact, allowing the emotions to be expressed with immediacy. The use of rhyme, particularly in lines like "smile" and "while," contributes to the poem's rhythmic quality, underscoring the emotional cadence.

Poetic devices, including repetition and symbolism, enhance the emotional resonance of the piece. The repetition of "sad faces" creates a haunting refrain, emphasizing the pervasive nature of loneliness. The act of carving a smile with a knife serves as a powerful metaphor, highlighting the painful effort to create a facade of happiness amid internal struggles.

One suggestion I could offer for improvement would involve exploring additional sensory details or vivid imagery to immerse readers in the emotional landscape. Consider incorporating metaphors or similes that paint a more vivid picture, or can assign something more concrete to that of the speaker's emotions, providing readers with a deeper understanding of the internal turmoil.

Experiment with variations in line length or structure to emphasize key moments or emotions within the poem. Adjusting the pacing through strategic line breaks can enhance the overall rhythm and impact of the emotional journey you've crafted. It can demonstrate where to stress key words or passages. Something I do to demonstrate this is imagine the poem read aloud. I often need to actually hear my words spoken, rather than internalize. It’s here where I can put myself in the reader’s shoes.

You have a poignant exploration of loneliness and the complexities of human emotion shown here, which I and many can relate. Its raw and emotive style, coupled with a powerful theme, makes it a compelling piece that resonates with this reader's own experiences of longing and isolation.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1,507 Reviews • *Magnify*
Page of 61 • 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ripglaedr3/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/7