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*One of the most sought after reviewers at Writing.Com.* Seriously? *Laugh* There was a time my honesty could be brutal. Residing here 14 years, as a sensitive writer myself, I'm able to temper observations that neither flatter or off-put. I like to see the good, observe how each writing projects. If I review, it's mainly because I see the value. I want to strike up friendships and partnerships, though it can be quite isolating here for a non-conformist, who has bent part of the way, but not fully met with reciprocating compromise. This can temporarily cause me to bend back. *Smirk*
 
So if you want to see how I review, my feedback is public. Don't be afraid to tap in and see for yourself. *Smile* UPDATE: IF YOU'RE AN UPGRADED MEMBER, you don't have to gift me points for reviews. Send me that one free merit badge you're allotted monthly and I'll review up to 4 mid-length poems, or one short story up to 5k words.
I'm good at...
Sleeping. Retired now. I encourage writers with my reviews. I look for strengths and give direction on how to make something better. I am willing to continue to correspond with the writer if there is more I can offer. I look at what drives a reader. I think with my experience, I can see where your art derives from and is taking you. Sometimes, before the writer knows.
Favorite Genres
nature, love, psychological, drama, human interest, history, science, conspiracy, dystopian, fatalistic, tasteful
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, fan fiction, some fantasy and sci-fi, or anything Lord of the Rings/Game of Thrones-ish.
Favorite Item Types
poetry, short story, essay
Public Reviews
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Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Some very strong statements from a young mind that I applaud, despite numerous spelling and typographical repairs that detract from appreciation of this poem.

Universal truths can also be realized by adolescents, I see here. What's unfortunate is complacency grows out of helplessness and angst. A child can blame parents...who are prone to dehumanize as do nations, races and cultures alike. A child can see through this guise, be idealistic and hopeful. This poem shows how crushed a young soul can feel from the inadequate response of elders.

Children know what's right, despite economic or social status. They want problems of the world resolved, no doubt exposed to the violence to other children and then poverty of third world countries by our own educators.

Perhaps, it would take just one young poet to move nations with worlds, if the weight upon human spirit wouldn't constrain ability. Innocence lost but idealism born.

Write On,

B


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Review of Fears of a Newbie  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I just discovered your post in newsfeed and decided to see what you share here at Writing.Com. I stumbled upon this and you inspired me to be a bit of the cheerleader sort today. (Not my strong suit, since I'm a bit of a self-defeating person with idealist goals coupled with coping mechanisms to survive)

Everything you're saying is common and ordinary to almost every writer at this website and throughout the world. We all doubt ourselves before giving ourselves a try. It's normal. And you might be denying the fact that you know that already, and are self-defeating.

I think we are all afraid to try because it might mean failure. But somebody told me once that I fear because I might be successful. That struck me as an odd thing to say, but it came from a professional and knew what they were talking about.

I think the problem is the focus. We keep doubting ourselves, that there is some kind of shame hanging over for even considering trying. That we could be so bold as to assume we could become published writers. And there is that stigma that trying to become a novelist is a pipe dream, a waste of energy, something that someone who is jobless idles over instead of earning an honest living. Maybe, that's jealousy. These notions of troubled writers discount the talent and a dream being paired together as one. And if you ever consider the possibility that you could do it and have spent time thinking about it, then the time to act is immediately and don't look back.

I think we just need to put our best self forward and appreciate the process and not think too much about the future. While it is good to have an outline and goals for what you write, isn't it more fun to discover what you're writing as you're doing it? Because you might have an outline, but then things can change. Why overthink it? I hear you saying that you worry what fans of your fiction will feel about what you do to your characters. That is not your problem, you are creating a dilemma to postpone your desire to write. Again, this is normal. We all make excuses not to put our best foot forward. Forget what others will think. Do it for you. Accomplishment is the ultimate reward, not publication.

Something inspires you to dream about this. Keep surrounding yourself with the literature that you enjoy and keep writing your fiction, your outlines, your dream journals and watch it come to fruition. Windows open up to writers who continually pen their thoughts, their mind sketches, into a forced reality. And before you know it, the characters are taking over for you.. Windows open up. And before you know it the characters are taking over for you. The moment you stop and look back and wonder if what you were doing is right, is the moment you are lost. Keep your eyes on the horizon and keep things in front of you to work toward. Instead of looking back or supposing what the voyage will be like, just put your ship on the water and start to drift. Discover the thrill of that open water. You'll get there.

It won't be a perfect process. Like any story it will be a journey with hiccups. You can't plan for mistakes and self-correct as you're going. That is what editing is for. Do not self-edit before you write. Wait until you're done and see what you've got. If you worry too much about the structure of your sentences, and the value of your words, you might as well not try. Because you need to get the structure down before you can start filling with those beautiful words and sentences that seem to divine their way into the crevices of what you construct.

From what little I've read, I know you are capable. You learn as you go. You put in the effort, you'll see rewards daily. You'll have days that will seem a set back. Take solace. Don't fret. Eyes on the horizon. Allow yourself to dream, believe. Things will always get in the way. Some you'll have to go around. Don't back up, don't stop. And, if you need it, you have my permission to create as much lifeless writing as you want and share it. It's not the measure of your talent I see, but how big you can dream. I admire a person who puts them self out there in spite of doubters, disbelievers. If it's you that gets in way, it's normal. But acknowledge it's you and not some unknowable force. Then, write more.

you can find encouraging stories out there. Surround yourself with the uplifting messages. If something in your gut is sickened by that, know it is fear. Fear of success. Obsess about that. Because it is something you should not fear. The audacity to dream to write should not bear shame. You can do this. Anyone can, but especially you, if you allow yourself to succeed.

Regards,

Brian

PS -- If you feel overwhelmed now with all the free time to write, don't beat yourself up. JK Rowling has writers' backs during this crisis, lashing back an a motivational speaker bullying people on Twitter for wasting time right now:

"Implying that people are lazy or unmotivated if they aren't knocking out masterpieces daily isn't inspiration, it's a form of shaming. If endless distraction cured depression, no rich person or workaholic would ever have killed themselves. Sadness and anxiety aren't weaknesses /1

they're a natural human response to difficulty and danger. Allowing ourselves to feel what we feel, and acknowledging that we have good reason to feel that way, is a better route back to good mental health than beating ourselves up for not being superhuman. /2"

It's been proven that these unusual circumstances are actually forcing our brains to stress and go into survival mode. It's not unusual to feel even more pressure right now.

Side note: Typically I would associate this review for the WDC Angel Army, but I went rogue this month and am selfishly reviewing just for myself. No affiliation. All opinions are my own.

I'm circumpolar reviewer, a lone star here *Star*. And, I can be that bold.


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Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Wow, a bowling alley turned strip club. I've seen some unique poems. This rates right up there.

The first half of this focuses on bowling success or failure, I don't know. I got lost by the expression, "...Those happy chests connected, Up tight against their thighs." While bowling? Are strippers already at the lanes? They arrive in bottom portion of poem.

'Faces grub' was an odd expression. Not grubby faces? You verbed 'grub?' Sally was the most interesting aspect of poem, but dematerialized. Was into gather strip club was in alley, there was a tournament, they lost and then commiserated over lap dances? If so, got most of that from description line.

I have no more words. Just, yeah, that's it. Different.

B


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Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Tim,

The title is unusual and the description line misleading. I'm not sure I understand poetry the way you present it. I see these Offerings of yours that are auto-rewarded and assume you need feedback. I can tell you that you are missing the mark here. This didn't seem like a poem about a couple as you described. The ending made me feel like it was about getting a girl after proving oneself a worthy sports warrior.

There are odd expressions throughout, like the ending, "How we are joined in the game's precious teach." Can I assume English is not your first language? It's okay if you are trying to master the language through poetry. I would say learn parts of speech...what's a noun, verb, adjective, etc. Look up to see if they can be used how displayed. It is true that the rules for words, sentence structure gets abandoned by poets trying to create unique expressions. I would say this is more of a mishandling.

I would also strive for a simpler structure and add these Classes of words appropriately, as a process to learning how to create expression. You should want to use poetic devices, keep metaphor and subject on topic. I'll say this much, you manage to avoid cliche language, which makes me feel you weren't exposed to it like typical North Americans, so you got that going for you.

Just keep your theme simple and true, so the expressionscand words chosen can relate to one another. You tend to stray within story because...your vocabulary is limited and therefor e grasp of it limited. You may be overshooting a bit. Read poets with more concrete (expression) language and maybe someone like Hemingway. Draw off their draft (expression) to see if that will rub off (expression) on your writing.

I don't want to say too much more. Poetry is experience, a romance with words. Handle delicately, with love. Take from seed and nurture then watch grow. See, simple metaphors like love and gardening, as expressions, for instance.

That's all,

B


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Review of Struggle  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (3.0)

A poem of remorse with power and impact as it moves through its progressions to conclusion. It's unfortunate we as readers must struggle through that pained rhyme scheme at start to get to the good stuff.

A poem has to start somewhere. I believe the editing process is a tough one, especially moved past your inspiration and initial creation of the thing. Can a writer get the feeling again? I believe so, as with anything. You just have to just start and eventually, the mind will be ready to go to work on it again.

For me, this editing process would be to skip through the first four lines, or so, and concentrate on the meat of this poem. You do well to depict emotion and relation to god and the weakness to follow blindly in faith...certain disconnect. But, not addressing your intended message here and speaking to form and structure...Throw away that tight-light rhyme at open and try writing without it. Once you have what you're describing what you're trying to lead up to, you can revisit the traditional form again. Write, edit, rewrite and repeat. It's a process. Cup of coffee, clear head, quiet, repeat, as well. Whatever works to concentrate.

Sometimes, I salvage the best part of a poem and try to frame it in something else/new. It's like trimming fat and stuffing the bird...or thing that has fat. Pork?

You might create something better and more powerful by doing this.

Good luck,

B


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Review of Dream Catcher  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
"Dream Catcher must have been a suggested poem structure for group activity like contest. This must have been difficult to craft as some lines suggest either through awkward expression or length of lines while syllabizing.

After, "A dreamer, I thought you could flip lines three and four, but how to fix this add a syllable to each line of poem scheme, forming triangle by end. Hmm. Maybe:

"I have always
been searching for..."


Next line repeats dream and wondered if you could explore some similar expression without redundancy. Break out the thesaurus...improve language...

"...pursue the vision
been yearning to perceive..."


And so on, until...

A

Dreamer

I have always
been searching for

Pursuing a dream
I am yearning to see

Hope will be my only guide
Believing dreams weren’t meant to die

Inspiration   kindled  --  faith  and  prayer
Belief   of the dream  is the catcher’s  snare


Look any better? More like a Christmas tree, huh? Difficult task. Like puzzling meets shape poetry.

B






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Review of For Love of Life  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)

Although technically flawed in some respects, I found a delightful read. This poem could use improvements, which I shall suggest.

That first line will trip a reader up...

"For love of life, and love, and beauty fair..."

See the double use of love in that line? That's going to stop most readers in their tracks. Hard to get to the rest if you do not address this.

And here, you need to give your hyphens more breathing space or less help, where commas aren't needed after...

"...And gentle ways-I dedicate this verse...
...This simple hope, this fervent-written prayer...
...A way to mend our differences,-to care..."

pace yourself, too. Come up for air. Yes, thoughts connect but a poem does not have be a run on sentence. Not sure I saw a period before end. So, let's break it up...with repairs...

For (care) of life, and love, and beauty fair,
Which reigns within the heart of those who seek,
Nothing but truth, and in that spirit, share
The subtle language of the soul in meek.
In gentle ways, I dedicate this verse.
For through our basic needs and suffering,
We are of like accord. And, tho' the curse
Of cruel hate is strong in hearts, I bring
This simple hope, this fervent-written prayer --
That we might join our hearts with faith to find
A way to mend our differences -- to care
For one another's needs with quiet minds.
Might we bridge that gap the self has made,
And be as one -- enlightened and unafraid.

Now, an impassioned speech doesn't necessarily need to come up for air, if orated. Could be a scene from a play. In this case, you have a document that has to be read alone inside the mind and may need some places to stop and rest from long and winding lines with twined words. The suggested edits don't necessarily hold. Didn't notice, was this a sonnett? Saw some meter, suspect rhyme scheme not consistent but almost there...anyway...

Eloquent, thanks for sharing,

Brian


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Review of My Crutch  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)

This is a poem about getting back in the good graces of...oh, you thought god...no, oneself. There is a little psychology at work in this poem and because it is so real it can't help but be revealed.

People wind up in abusive relationships because they don't respect or love themselves enough. The narrator talks about being owned by another who causes pain and strife and need to set theirself from and surround theirself with something better.

But, before we get there, a slip is made. Acknowledging the world made this one the way they are. Last I checked, we basically get the same education, except we run in different circles. Anyone is capable of being in an unhealthy relationship. The flaw is blaming others and choosing god and thinking getting on a path to redemption is the key. It's just one part.

The key is learning to love oneself, accept the baggage and stating needs to people in our lives. People in this situation put others on the spot to torture, abuse us the way we are accustomed. Maybe, we feed too much into drama that is not there...empty without...maybe empty and bored with ourselves.

This is an opportunity for self-actualization. You can't run from the past, others or self and into the arms of god until you are ready. Redemption for the wicked includes those who have been afflicted and did not stand up for themselves.

This is an extraordinary moment of reckoning and an opportunity to change and have fulfillment within an enriched goal in life...to find salvation.

Great share,

B


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Review of Endless War  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Good use of symbolism I feel that leant to the theme of your poem with that golden sword. It's unknowable what it fully represents, but it's been denied the poem's narrator. I feel it is connected to dreams that also aren't fully explored here.

I saw a structure unfold with opening lines being repeated at end. I think it needs to be better expressed and removed of cliches like 'shattered glass.' Think, what kind of glass...stained, window to room, a vase or other ceramic...all kinds of visuals that lend to theme metaphorically can give so much more weight to this poem.

Psychologically, we need to dive into this character. Why are they being dominated by another, that has the upper hand. Is this renaissance or fantasy genre, and what is the war categorization specifically?

If you leave a reader with a lot of suggestions, then you haven't completed the task of completing this poem to its best ability. There's much more I could cover, but that's enough to start with. Most people don't rewrite their old works anyway, but just move on to another after lessons learned.

B


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Review of Keep it real  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
As I read it, this is a 'how to' or self-help poem, advising a reader on wise choices to make in life.

Poetry comes in many forms; this style reminds of a sort of olden day convention that used to instruct people in high-minded ways. Through government, your school or church, something rhymy always got us in the mood to learn our commandments.

I don't think this sounds preachy in it's attempt to be sage. I think poetry can inform in a multiple ways, the least of which is telling people directly what you mean. Usually, poems imply, cleverly hide some clue, underlying meaning. It shows us a message we can decode and apply. It might make the process more consuming for those who want to be challenged and gifted with reward of discovery, rather than examining that thing plain upon the face.

Though, you too have to consider the intended audience. Are they under ten and likely to read a poem like this? For whatever reason, it's a nice work with applicable sentiment.

B


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Review of As You Go Away  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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This poem is full of beautiful sentiment, stuff of sympathy cards. It keeps the expressions simple, knowable for common readers. We're not creating high art here but simple reality.

Obvious religious reference to meeting again in heaven and angels. I think 'your song we still can hear' is like legacy, memories that we keep, unforgettable. 'Music for our souls rings in all our ears' is nice way to fondly remember their gifts of love.

It ends with calm and peace, knowing there is afterlife. That we can pass the days with wonderful memories. All boiler plate stuff. It's sweet, it's innocent and a poem like this shared can warm more family and friends who feel loss from this departure.

You did good. This is what we cherish about a lost love, that when shared gives in value and meaning to the circle of people who look on fondly.

Brian



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Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I like the idea of sharing all these Japanese proverbs in poem, but not sure it's a logical choice to cluster them all in one offering. Brevity is the soul of wisdom, is that a proverb? Or is it wit?

When I see the title, "Confused while in Japan and expressive!, I immediately sense an unusual handle on English with a unique take on poetic process. I see the familiar two line verse formula. What I wonder is if these sentiments/adages were transcribed from Japanese, because something seems lost in language translation, like preposition placement or the banality of expressions.

What I would prefer is break it up and add your own takeaway in poem...one or more proverbs in common that could be used as the topic to poeticize about. Maybe, the experience you have of the proverb. Just telling them these adages can connect a reader, but why not get it grounded in it's own theory and take it someplace?

Just thoughts on the process to constructing this and finding higher meaning, so the poem can have more depth and something to take away.

B


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Review of "For My Husband"  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is wonderful, loving sentiment with images showing one who is reliant on strength and gentle caring, the protective arms of a husband. It reminds me how my wife must feel when she leans into my chest for support and comfort, at times. It reminds its not words, but showing...

...As with poetry. While your message comes across clear, as if understood by the one it's meant for, it may need greater expression to be celebrated by a reader. For that we can relate. With a poem for another time, imagine how to show without telling those actions so aptly described. Maybe, directly connect to particular emotion, also articulated through imagery, metaphor or other poetic devices. Food for thought.

But this, that's just a nice poem,

B


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Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
The title is provocative when paired with the text and I think it set me up to anticipate more than just a recounting of the unexpected atrocity that we still seem to be immune to centuries later as a nation.

The word that caught me was squaw. I had to wonder if it is considered derogatory, not that it would be viewed negatively in your poem. I just need to know as a matter of definition, if the word is used correctly. And here's what I found:

"The word squaw certainly has had its share of history. In researching its meaning, squaw is either offensive or historically accurate in portraying a female Indian woman. According to which historian you speak to on any given day or which link you click in a Google search, there are several theories regarding the word’s origin. Most notably negative and perhaps the most feared definition of the word is that squaw translates to vagina."

Wow. Getting back to your poem. I feel as if you're going to use that title, that you need to set the reader up to discover what this is about. Catch them off guard with a sneak attack/ gut punch, and give it a generic open so that they slowly realize that this is a part of our history with the cruel removal of Native Americans from their lands. If you didn't use a word like squaw that early and replace it with woman instead, might get the feeling of this being something closer to home, experience as an American. Then, turn tables on reader for visceral effect.

Obvious, it's old news. The subject unaddressed, or properly so, as to atonement, leaves our citizenry/government looking complacent. A write like this in modern times could be impactful, if employing a title that is meant to catch us off guard much like natives were in the poem's depiction.

B


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Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Am I only person who read this anticipating a big reveal at the end that never came and feeling cheated? What's the 'one word'?

I get the feeling this is a lot of the author's free associated thoughts/feelings in one rambling discourse. There's nothing wrong with that, it's just that this is an unedited and raw piece that needs development.

Speaking to structure, there is really none. It works on a poetic level, not poetic devices but words as expressions than true meaning. There are no stanzas and it speaks directly to a reader rather than showing. You could call this a poetic monologue or a sermon, but it definitely needs to be honed to be a well-deserved read.

I cannot speak to content, as it is based on the author's opinion. There are some universal truths that are undeniable within. And, probably much of it is overstated rather than developing a cohesive argument that can sway a reader. Single topic needs focus.

Write On,

B



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Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This is sensually written with a lot of obstacles to fully appreciate as a read, though spoken might produce different results. Or, in this case, mental incantation, though it sounds/reads as if delivered unto another, sooo....

Saw missing punctuation, lines that went on to long, meandering within theme that took us away and back to the offering. This could be shorter and edited tight to keep a firm hand on the sensuous message...a keener focus.

What I noticed from the start was doubly attributing adjectives to each noun, though forgetting punctuation to separate. And the open loses me with expressed "double cross." Couldn't get a point of reference.

Definitely break those long lines. You'll run out of breath. Sentences broken down in parts with emphasis on integral words at the end or start of breaks work hardest on reader's mind. Go for that, if sharing as a written document here.

I definitely believe this raw work can be honed into a solid work, having the right narrative value that could attune a mind to this logic.

B


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Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Sounds like a private eye from some forties film noir monologuing. Cue a jazz saxophone and dry ice machines to fog a gritty avenue in the concrete jungle. That's what I get when I read. Maybe, not what you're going for.

All the commas were crazy, made me a little crazy, you know what I mean, man? With jabby lines like that, you need more periods. Asking stiffs if they thought doing drugs was a good idea was rhetorical, right?

This offering could have been part of a drama, but would be edited for length. It was stiff, raw, but could be worked into something fictional...longer. I get that this was a response to something non-fictional. Just riffing with your write.

Righteous,

B


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Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Indeed, "Can insanity sometimes simply be an inability to articulate an understanding of the unexplainable?" That is the crux of the matter.

You've stumbled upon a simple truth: humans make up shit. But, we must be quiet. We wouldn't want people to realize the sham. Insanity would be no world order. We have to give people rules to live by, or it'd be mayhem, anarchy.

You know, since caveman could draw, we've been telling stories and reinterpreting stories. As the writing on the wall changes, so too does the human race, getting too sophisticated for all the fables and lies.

Very compelling write,

B


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Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A sonnet for me is a difficult thing to critique. It's meter I don't necessarily hear, employing iambic pentameter. Just get some solid lines and some others that want to pair up notes and end lines on highs or lows incompatibly.

You do well with these: symbolism, matching a bard like write. Using the ocean as emotional setting seems fitting. Imagery is mostly cohesive with a lover's heartache. You employ a goddess who could be self-healing or belief in eternal counsel.

The poem does transition from withinside this person and then without in a cave? I think if you draw this parallel more perfect to self, theme stays consistent.

I imagine this person self-soothing through music. Though, you are crafting a person believing in something more divine and mystical, which works in unison.

I like pain to pain. Imagine comparing feelings to emulation of words through song, help commiserate. Making love more than a word, might not fit here. I like the expression, but it deviated for me. The process of suffering through a breakup might deliver more meaning to the word. Give it a bittersweet connotation, having loved and lost. Being ready to love again after healing, joy refills its meaning. It's more complex. Draw on something more filling, if you want go deeper at the end.

Pleasure to consume,

Brian


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Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a poem full of emotion about the ugly aftermath of something that has failed between two or more people. Many readers can connect with these emotions and the narrative style.

Speaking to the form of the poem, each stanza breaking down to a single word employs effect in different ways. One, it is the visual style that gives this feeling of speaking until there are no words left. Two, if spoken aloud, these words become as they drain line by line to an end. Three, it filters out feelings to blunt, hopeless words, usually imagery.

The sentiment in this poem is undeniable. It's raw and emotional. However, it's not clear beyond that. While there are universal feelings here, the theme needs to be condensed to some aspects of what this is about. Don't get a feel of the players, events, what has happened or where this is going.

The last verse breaks a bit from form and doesn't gasp out on one word thought, or lists, like previous stanzas. The end should be most impactful, like snuffing out a candle, ending a relationship, ending scene on a single note that's it clearly set up for, to hold and reverberate to sum up this mood. I think that's what you might be going for there.

Though, not all things in life finish seamlessly, one open-ended word could intone the brokenness, unknowability of future. There are chords and dischords, however it ends, it should be on one strong word that is unifying your theme.

Great construct at work. Best wishes with your writing,

Brian


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Review of Tenebrae  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
My first thought was, what is Tenebrae, because I think it would help me understand your poem. I look it up. Assuming this is less religious in nature but maybe a thing symbolizing darkness because it's given as a proper noun here. I think you still draw from the religious but in a sensual way.

It think the poem flows smoothly, gathering imagery to help with this romance with a feeling of some anticipation. I could look up Bacchus, but paired with Romeo, I feel it is finding perfect love, but dark and likely doomed.

The ending I could analyze, already given theme, symbolism and other dissimilar poetic devices. It doesn't stay cohesive, jumps to another era, different culture. You were on point at the start. The ending strays for me.

This was building on something. With poetry, it's possible to lose the driving energy behind a write and have it go astray. Another window might open and a keener vision one day, should you want to visit and/or improve...orvwrite a similar thing.

Thank you for sharing,

Brian


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Review of Undying Love!  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A very romantically told poem (in more than one sense) of a love long ago that was not meant to be. However, the poet puts the story right that their ghosts dance at night in the graveyard.

The short lines and rhyme drive this poem at a good pace. The story sets up well where two young lovers meet in 1883, only she dies young and later he. His body found on wagon trail brought back to bury next to hers. Then he recites his seven lines in verse to end poem. Thought those repeated lines should be italicized.

Very nicely writ and endearing.

B


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Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Construction:
Interesting concept merging Writing ML pull down text and the concept of Frost's poem. You summarily comment on this poem, too, so three paths to diverge?

Idea:
But seriously, I like the idea you are playing with. Frost pined for that road not taken in poem, but here, the reader can take either and see the intended path. Right there, you diverge conceptually.

Voice:
You have the old world concept of word choices here, pre-Frost bordering on British Romantic poetry. Maybe, post 1860 with some modern flavor.

Errors:
There were a few that I noticed. Most I will accept as poetic license like nature's steed. Just one... I would check your adjective for songbirds. Their voices might lilt when they sing, so you may want to add something about that or find a description better suited to wait the birds do.

Likes:
The dark side, my favorite place with the glimpsed thinks and reeking smell and rotted ground were good for some of the sense.. you could use a stronger word than reeking if you choose.

Overall:
I think you could play with this more. Reflect more on the message of the Frost poem, because you've created a formula (or a form) to produce more poems. (Though, Frost deserves credit) Consider something beyond contrasting good and bad. It might not be about opposites while likely dealing in absolutes. Great formula for discovery.

Thanks for sharing this,

Brian


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Review of Alone in the dark  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Here's a poem that describes how I sometimes feel as a writer, and the person depicted in this poem, who is alone crafting something that is a beautiful part of themselves and feeling overlooked and underappreciated. As the artist creating in a nature environment, there is simple beauty at work.

It's about being alone in nature and creating something that is a part of ourselves, art/music through a universal dialect, as described. I feel it is about a kindred spirit that hides in beauty, but should be discovered and enjoyed and shared. It's about leading others to convene in this natural setting to enjoy what is pristine and organic in our planet. Anything that could come from within is a creation and byproduct of it.

This is a reminder to appreciate one another. But also, if we are alone and undiscovered, take solace. As artists, we are doing what we love. We don't come out of nature to find you to come join. You hear our beauty in the air, if you have ears, and up to you come out and seek us. Commune in the joy of all that is beautiful.

Well expressed and understood.

Brian


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Review of Mother Nature  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)

I've read this twice and came to the near conclusion this girl is a symbol for earth. Much of what is described is that which makes everything grow, especially in spring. Personification unattributed.

Just beautiful language and flow of words to make for a luxurious read, though I was a bit thrown by punctuation. I like expressions like ‘sun on her skin’ and ‘dew in her veins.‘ I'm not sure about how she runs through the world. For a moment I thought of flowing water. That would expand the metaphor beyond soil.

Overall, I appreciated the read. Enjoy a smooth read that's easy to consume with good visual imagery.

B


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