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Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Ben Langhinrichs Author Icon,

I had the pleasure of reading, "The cozy chair that I'm not in." It captivates as you have woven emotion and vivid imagery together. Many qualities of this poem that stands out.

The use of personification is a striking element. You've given life to an inanimate object by having it "sit patiently" and "await your return." This creates a strong sense of longing and attachment to the chair, a symbolic representation of comfort and solace. This reader can connect with the emotions you're trying to convey.

Your choice of words and imagery is another strong point. The chair is not just any chair; it's "beside the cozy fireplace," which instantly conjures warmth in a reader's mind. The juxtaposition of this inviting setting with the speaker's sense of loss and despair creates poignant contrast.

"The cozy chair that I'm not in" Open in new Window. also effectively explores the theme of missed opportunities and regrets. The lines, "I’d give my first-born child to be back there / Instead I weep, as I will never learn," encapsulate the depth of remorse and the feeling of having made a wrong choice.

The line "I’d give my first-born child to be back there" does employ hyperbole to exaggeration used for emphasis. In this context, the depth of their longing and regret. The dark humor plays on absurdity while the whole of your work does not. Instead, you have combined elements of longing, regret, and foreboding with a touch of dark humor. Using it sparingly effectively creates contrast to the speaker's sense of loss and irony. This mixture makes the poem more complex and thought-provoking.

Furthermore, your use of rhyme and meter is consistent and adds to the overall flow. It gives the piece a sense of structure and musicality to complement. For instance, the rhyme between "chance" and "advance" and the internal rhyme of "terrified" and "fight" in the second stanza enhance nicely.

The progression from the nostalgic reminiscence to that foreboding sense of dread was well-executed. It takes a reader on a journey of comfortable memory with the onset of unsettling realization. This shift in tone keeps an audience engaged, adding depth to the narrative.

The final couplet, "Though you swear nothing in the darkness lies / Still, I can feel a thousand hostile eyes," is particularly effective. It is to leave the reader with a sense of unease, drawing them into the speaker's fear and apprehension. Its thought-provoking ending lingers in the mind.

I find "The cozy chair that I'm not in" skillfully crafted, beautifully capturing the essence of longing, missed opportunities, and the haunting specter of regret. Your use of personification, evocative imagery, and a well-structured rhyme scheme made it a compelling read. You did well to convey complex emotions and tell a story in a succinct and engaging manner.

Thank you for sharing your published work. I look forward to reading more in the future.

Best regards,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer

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Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Ben Langhinrichs Author Icon,

I had the pleasure of reading, "The cozy chair that I'm not in." It captivates as you have woven emotion and vivid imagery together. Many qualities of this poem that stands out.

The use of personification is a striking element. You've given life to an inanimate object by having it "sit patiently" and "await your return." This creates a strong sense of longing and attachment to the chair, a symbolic representation of comfort and solace. This reader can connect with the emotions you're trying to convey.

Your choice of words and imagery is another strong point. The chair is not just any chair; it's "beside the cozy fireplace," which instantly conjures warmth in a reader's mind. The juxtaposition of this inviting setting with the speaker's sense of loss and despair creates poignant contrast.

"The cozy chair that I'm not in" Open in new Window. also effectively explores the theme of missed opportunities and regrets. The lines, "I’d give my first-born child to be back there / Instead I weep, as I will never learn," encapsulate the depth of remorse and the feeling of having made a wrong choice.

The line "I’d give my first-born child to be back there" does employ hyperbole to exaggeration used for emphasis. In this context, the depth of their longing and regret. The dark humor plays on absurdity while the whole of your work does not. Instead, you have combined elements of longing, regret, and foreboding with a touch of dark humor. Using it sparingly effectively creates contrast to the speaker's sense of loss and irony. This mixture makes the poem more complex and thought-provoking.

Furthermore, your use of rhyme and meter is consistent and adds to the overall flow. It gives the piece a sense of structure and musicality to complement. For instance, the rhyme between "chance" and "advance" and the internal rhyme of "terrified" and "fight" in the second stanza enhance nicely.

The progression from the nostalgic reminiscence to that foreboding sense of dread was well-executed. It takes a reader on a journey of comfortable memory with the onset of unsettling realization. This shift in tone keeps an audience engaged, adding depth to the narrative.

The final couplet, "Though you swear nothing in the darkness lies / Still, I can feel a thousand hostile eyes," is particularly effective. It is to leave the reader with a sense of unease, drawing them into the speaker's fear and apprehension. Its thought-provoking ending lingers in the mind.

I find "The cozy chair that I'm not in" skillfully crafted, beautifully capturing the essence of longing, missed opportunities, and the haunting specter of regret. Your use of personification, evocative imagery, and a well-structured rhyme scheme made it a compelling read. You did well to convey complex emotions and tell a story in a succinct and engaging manner.

Thank you for sharing your published work. I look forward to reading more in the future.

Best regards,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer

Non-Animated Angel Army Signature

BOOK
Rolling Through Intersections Open in new Window. (18+)
A nothing from nowhere cast his words to a world wide wind, hindered by periphery.
#1149750 by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Eight-line Poems  Open in new Window.
for entry "Egress" Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Beholden Author Icon,

Your poem, 'Egress,' demonstrates an intriguing approach to the outdoor spiral case picture prompt. Here I will break down the poem’s performance in terms of imagery, connection to the image, style, and poem function:

Imagery:
Your poem effectively conjures imagery associated with a spiral staircase, as evident in phrases like "whirlygig, twirlygig" and "spiral stair, winding scare." These vivid descriptors create a visual representation of the fire escape, giving the reader a clear mental image of the subject matter.

Connection to Image:
The poem maintains a strong connection to the image of a spiral staircase, as it continually references the spiral and rotational nature of this structure. The use of terms like "descending, unending" captures the notion of the staircase's continuous descent, further strengthening the link to the image.

Style:
You employ a rhythmic and rhyming style that adds a musical quality to the poem. The repetition of sounds in phrases like "whirlygig, twirlygig" and "rotational, gyrational" contributes to a playful and engaging tone. The concise lines and rhymes make the poem catchy and easy to remember. Those words reminded me they could also describe a child’s toy, and maybe a helicopter.

Poem Function:
The poem functions as a visual and auditory exploration of the spiral staircase. It encapsulates the motion and descent associated with a fire escape, creating a sense of movement. The vivid imagery and rhythmic style combine to capture the essence of this outdoor structure.

Stylistic and Emotional Potential:
To enhance the poem, perhaps consider incorporating personification to infuse the fire escape with human-like characteristics, allowing readers to connect with it on a deeper level. For instance, the fire escape might become a character itself, whispering secrets to those who descend its spiral steps.

Emotionally, you could explore the idea of escape and rescue, touching on the dual nature of a fire escape as both a means of evacuation and a symbol of hope. By delving into the emotions tied to a fire escape's purpose, the poem could evoke a stronger sense of urgency or nostalgia.

‘Egress' is a visually descriptive and rhythmically pleasing poem that effectively captured that image of an outdoor spiral staircase. To enhance it, it’s possible to delve deeper into aspects of personification and emotions associated with this otherwise ordinary fire escape, creating a more emotionally resonant piece. The title, 'Egress,' is indeed fitting and adds a layer of depth to the poem's exploration of escape and descent.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army

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Review of Beach Song  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello Susan,

Your poem "Beach Song" is a delightful piece that captures the enchanting essence of a moonlit beach walk. It's brimming with vivid imagery, and its rhythmic flow echoes the soothing cadence of the waves. I want to provide a detailed reaction and some suggestions, should you think it needs further refinement.

The style and theme of your poem are reminiscent of romantic and lyrical poetry, where nature, in this case, the beach, becomes a stage for an emotional experience. The use of exclamations ("O! What a delight") adds an exuberant tone, emphasizing the awe-inspiring beauty of the setting. The choice of diction is evocative, particularly in lines like "moon shadowed dunes" and "lunar lust," which contribute to the sensory richness of the poem.

The form and structure of your poem are pleasing, with consistent quatrains that maintain a harmonious rhythm throughout. The rhyme scheme (ABAB) adds musicality and symmetry to the verses, making it easier for the reader to follow the flow. The poem's brevity is also a strength; it captures a moment of beauty and wonder without excessive elaboration.

You employ various poetic devices effectively. The repetition of "O! What a delight" serves as a refrain, emphasizing the joy of the experience. The alliteration in "watery winged tunes" and "sandy mystery" enhances the sonic quality of the poem. The personification of the sea and sand as "mystics" and the sea's waves as gentle, teasing, and misbehaving imbue the natural elements with human-like qualities, forging a deeper connection between the reader and the environment.

While the poem is already beautifully written, here are a few suggestions for consideration:

1. Further Develop the Theme: Explore the emotional aspect of the experience. You've hinted at romance with lines like "a couple's glance," but delving deeper into the emotions or thoughts of the narrator could add a layer of depth.

2. Evolve the Imagery: You've painted a vivid picture of the beach, but you can push the boundaries of your descriptions. For instance, you might expand on the idea of "moon shadowed dunes" to create a more intricate visual image.

3. Clarify the Narrative: The poem leaves the reader with an atmospheric impression, but a slightly more concrete narrative or progression of events could enhance reader engagement.

Your poem is a beautiful snapshot of a serene beach walk, and it's already a captivating piece. These suggestions aim to provide you with some directions for further exploration, but feel free to adjust them according to your creative vision. Keep up the fantastic work!

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army

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Review of Indigo Night  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Wheelbarrow Poetry Group (Be A...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Kåre เลียม Enga Author Icon,

Thanks for allowing me a chance to read and review your poem. “Indigo Night", which captures imagination with that title, paints a vivid picture of a somber and poignant scene. I'll provide feedback in several aspects, including style, theme, form, and poetic devices.

Style and Imagery:
Your style is contemplative and evocative, with a focus on vivid imagery. The description of the "crescent moon wanes" and "twilight settles then fades to indigo" creates a powerful visual atmosphere. However, there's room to further enhance the sensory experience. Consider incorporating more sensory details like sounds, smells, or textures to make the scene even more immersive.

Theme and Emotion:
The theme of hope in the midst of despair is poignant and touching. You've effectively captured the contrast between the chaos and sorrow of the day and the quiet, hopeful night. This theme resonates with readers, and it's a strength of your poem.

Form and Structure:
Your poem follows a structured form with quatrains. The use of quatrains gives your poem a sense of rhythm and consistency. However, consider experimenting with line breaks and stanza breaks to create pauses and emphasize certain moments within the poem. For instance, you might break the last stanza into two lines after "but no matter," to emphasize the enduring nature of love and hope.

Poetic Devices:
You make effective use of alliteration in phrases like "the tears have dried" and "the sobs have stilled." This repetition of consonant sounds enhances the musicality of your poem. You might consider exploring other poetic devices, such as metaphor or simile, to add depth to your imagery. For instance, comparing the crescent moon to a silver sickle or a hopeful smile could enhance the connection between the night sky and the theme of hope.

Suggestions for Improvement:
1. Consider adding more sensory details to engage readers further.
2. Experiment with line and stanza breaks to create pauses and emphasize key moments.
3. Explore additional poetic devices like metaphor and simile to enrich your imagery.

What I found appears to convey a sense of contrast between the natural world and the suffering of human life. The crescent moon and the indigo sky symbolize hope and beauty, even in the face of pain and chaos. The poem suggests that love endures in the midst of tragedy, offering solace and comfort. This duality of darkness and hope can be seen as a reflection of the resilience of the human spirit, finding strength and beauty in the midst of adversity. It invites readers to contemplate the coexistence of sorrow and hope in the world.

Overall, "Indigo Night" is a poignant poem with a compelling theme. With some refinements in style and the inclusion of more sensory details, it could become an even more immersive and emotionally resonant piece. Keep up the good work, and I look forward to reading more of your poetry in the future.

Best regards,

Brian
Red Wheelbarrow Review

*This review is not to be credited. It is my gift.


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Review of Two  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello cheshire Author Icon,

I found your poem in the reviewing pages and thought I could provide a more insightful response for “Two." The brevity and simplicity of your offering is a charming perspective on love and unity. The poem seems to encapsulate the journey of two individuals coming together to form a lasting bond.

Stylistically, the poem employs minimalistic language and structure, which serves the theme of simplicity in love. The concise lines emphasize the core emotions, and the repetition of "One" and "Two" is effective in highlighting the transition and union of two people. The use of short, direct sentences creates a sense of clarity and intimacy, which resonates for me with your poem’s theme.

In terms of themes, central is the love beautifully conveyed through gradual progression of two individuals becoming one. The poem explores the transformative power of love and the idea that love brightens the future and brings people together. It captures the essence of love as a unifying force.

While the poem is effective in its simplicity, there's always room for improvement. To enhance the poem, consider incorporating more vivid and specific imagery. For instance, instead of "The sun beams over the two," you might explore how the sun's rays caress the couple or create a unique image that strengthens the emotional impact.

Additionally, you could experiment with varying the line length or adding a metaphor or simile to add depth and complexity to the poem. For example, "Eyes touch, love connects like constellations in the night sky," adds a layer of metaphorical depth. Have all metaphors relate to one another somehow for cohesiveness.

In conclusion, "Two" is a touching and straightforward poem that beautifully conveyed the idea of love uniting two people. With a bit more vivid imagery and creative language, it could be even more emotionally resonant.

It was a pleasure to read and consider this poem and have the chance to lend a bit more than the average review. I’m available for follow up consult…or anything.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer

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332
Review of $4.90  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Julie,

Hello.
Your provided poem, "$4.90," carries a powerful emotional weight and serves as a glimpse into the author's personal struggles and experiences. It resonates as a heartfelt confession, where the act of writing itself may be therapeutic for the author. Here's a more detailed reaction, considering the form, message, and the underlying psychology:

The form of the poem is free verse, which suits the raw, confessional nature of the content. The use of short, simple sentences and a lack of traditional stanza breaks contributes to the poem's direct and unfiltered feel. It reflects the scattered thoughts of the speaker, adding authenticity to the piece. This format effectively mirrors the scattered and overwhelmed state of mind the author is conveying.

The poem's message appears to be twofold. It delves into memory lapses and forgetfulness, showcasing the speaker's tendency to forget important tasks and details. Simultaneously, it explores the profound guilt and regret associated with a seemingly minor act of stealing $4.90. The juxtaposition of these two elements highlights the speaker's emotional turmoil, as well as a heightened sensitivity to their own actions. The poem portrays the inner conflict of someone who tries to maintain a high moral standard but is confronted by their own imperfections.

In terms of psychology, the poem provides insight into the psyche of the author. It hints at the possibility of an undiagnosed psychological condition or overwhelming stress that leads to forgetfulness. It also hints at financial difficulties, as expressed through the inability to pay for the $4.90 and their need to resort to petty theft.

To enhance the poem's poetic qualities, you might consider a few adjustments. While the free-verse format works well, some structured line breaks could emphasize certain ideas and emotions. For instance, breaking "over $4.90 that I forgot about spending" into two lines could highlight the importance of this minor expense. Additionally, metaphors or imagery could be woven in to make the poem more vivid and impactful. For example, you could compare the weight of guilt to something tangible, like a heavy stone in the speaker's chest, or describe the forgotten prescription as a ticking time bomb.

In conclusion, "$4.90" is a poignant piece that showcases the author's emotional turmoil and potential psychological struggles. If this is fictional, it’s next level genius stuff. The raw, confessional form aligns well with the content, and by incorporating structured line breaks and vivid metaphors, your poem could be made even more evocative.

Best regards,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer

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333
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Connie,

I was pleased to discover your short poem, "When Atlas Shrugged," which evokes a powerful sense of impending change and the consequences that follow. The phrase "Atlas shrugged" alludes to the Greek myth of Atlas, who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. The poem opens with a vivid image of dusk, signaling a moment of transition or crisis.

The line "both kin and foe" suggests that this event impacts everyone, regardless of their allegiances, highlighting a universal aspect of change and upheaval. The choice of the word "foe" adds an element of conflict and adversity.

The image of "tumbled with the rubble" vividly depicts the chaos and destruction that ensues when a great burden is released. It conjures feelings of chaos, collapse, and transformation.

In terms of clarity, the poem effectively conveys its theme, but the meaning might benefit from more explicit context or exploration. Readers could interpret it in various ways, which can be a strength, but it may also lead to ambiguity. Overall, it's a thought-provoking piece that invites reflection on the consequences of significant shifts in our lives.

Thank you for sharing this with our writing community.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer

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Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Dear Dayna,

This essay on dating and courting presents a personal perspective on relationships and highlights the importance of understanding these terms and their roles in forming connections. However, there are aspects of this essay that could use closer inspection with an eye toward clarity and effectiveness.

This style of essay could benefit from better organization and structure. It starts with a conversational tone and a somewhat informal approach. While this can work for personal essays, there's room to provide a clearer roadmap or structure to help a reader. It might be beneficial to serve up an introduction that will outline main points that will point to your conclusions that tie everything all together.

This essay occasionally veers off-topic or goes into tangents, making it somewhat challenging to follow. Streamlining the content and ensuring that each paragraph contributes directly to the main argument would enhance its readability, help the arguments or enlightenment offered.

In terms of content, the distinction between dating and courting is an important topic, but the explanation could be more concise and focused. The essay could provide clearer definitions and examples to help readers understand the differences between these two concepts.

Moreover, it would be helpful to provide real-life scenarios or anecdotes to illustrate the points being made. For instance, instead of merely explaining the concept of cheating in dating versus courting, the essay could include a brief story or scenario to make the distinction more relatable.

Lastly, the essay could benefit from offering a broader perspective on modern dating and courting practices. While the essay primarily discusses traditional views, it would be valuable to acknowledge that dating and relationships have evolved over time and can vary greatly among individuals and cultures.

You do present an interesting perspective on dating and courting and could greatly be improved with further organization, focus, and concrete examples to stimulate a reader’s interest. It's important to remember that dating and relationships are highly personal experiences, and there's no one-size-fits-all approach. A more concise and organized presentation of ideas would make the essay more effective in conveying its message, helping build associations with readers.

It was a pleasure to consider this essay and reflect, hoping that my feedback could help in any way you need.

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer

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335
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Review of Diamond Clowns  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Dear L.A.Saxe Author Icon,

I found Diamond Clowns on a contest list of entries. I discovered a poem that strongly conveys a sense of resilience and ability to persevere through challenges. The brevity and simplicity of this poem adds to its impact, captures the essence of enduring difficulties with determination and strength.

Emotionally, you have offered something that suggests life can be tough, with obstacles and setbacks represented by such phrases like "It'll rain on your dreams" and "To watch you get up." Despite these challenges, the poem also conveys a sense of hope and resilience, as implied by the line "The diamond clowns / Are the ones / Who carry on."

The poem lacks explicit details or concrete imagery, which can sometimes limit your readership’s ability to connect with the emotions or experiences described. Adding specific examples or vivid imagery could make the poem more relatable and emotionally resonant.

Also, the poem is quite brief, which can be a stylistic choice but has also left room for further exploration of its theme. Expanding on the experiences of the "diamond clowns" or providing more context could provide a deeper connection with the reader. I get writing for ourselves. If it’s a connection to audience you need, I would dig deeper. Affirmation from readers who connect is next level.

In terms of improvement, consider adding a bit more detail while maintaining the strength of brevity. Sometimes it’s swapping out words for stronger adjective and picture words, as it’s been called. Experimenting with metaphor or simile could add layers of meaning and depth to the poem, making it even more impactful. This could help the reader better understand the struggles faced by the "diamond clowns" and the source of their resilience.

You’ve demonstrated a sense of one’s resilience and determination in the face of life's challenges as with adversity. Enhance that emotional impact, consider adding more specific details or vivid imagery to create a deeper connection with the reader. I think it would be beneficial. Usually I know what I want to say, but need a bump in the language department for more color. I’d lean into thesaurus, dictionary, word origins, for example. Been doing it all my life. Sucks how long it takes to be a seasoned writer. The key: a resilient determination.

The best to you in future writing,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
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Angel Army Review of month 9/2023 Open in new Window. (E)
Award received from Angel Army for being one of their top reviewers.
#2306223 by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon


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Review of Southern Summer  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear rooster,

I appreciate the brevity and descriptiveness of [item696053}, :a collection of haikus that beautifully encapsulate the essence of summer in North Carolina. The poem's economy of words is a testament to the power of haiku as a literary form. However, stumbling out of the gate before I get deeper into the verses, I’m unable to help but notice an issue in the opening lines.

The first haiku, "Summer evening," feels somewhat redundant when placed alongside the title of the poem, which already strongly suggests the season and setting. Instead of merely reiterating the obvious, consider crafting an opening that evokes the unique atmosphere of a North Carolina summer evening. Paint a vivid picture for the reader with sensory details or a unique perspective that sets the stage for the subsequent haikus.

On the positive side, your haikus expertly employ traditional literary devices to create vivid imagery. "Fireflies dance on forest's edge" vividly conjures the magic of fireflies in the dusk, while "Homemade ice cream melts" appeals to the senses, offering a taste of summer's sweet delights. Listening to these words aloud there is a lyrical quality addressed. By using a soft alliterate tone it lends to the writer’s romance with scene and subject.

"Moonlit sky above" and "Soft grass underneath bare feet" create a serene and dreamlike atmosphere, drawing the reader into a tranquil moment of reflection. The final haiku, "Water laps bare feet," adds a coastal touch to the collection, enhancing its variety and charm. You can visualize with senses of sight and sound with ‘laps’. And one could argue personification as the water loves/serves the feet with this obedient, loving expression. Therein is the truest tone of contentment: the shared romance with nature’s returning love.

To enhance this collection further, I would encourage you to explore more diverse themes within the scope of a North Carolina summer. Perhaps, you could incorporate cultural aspects, the flora and fauna, or the unique regional traditions that make this season special. Notions that could extend what you have going, or inspire further poems/writes.

In consideration of "Southern Summer", there is found a promising collection of haikus that capture and convey the essence of a North Carolina summer. By addressing an opening stumbling block, this haiku will better set up the scene. With inclusion of a broader range of themes, you can take this poetic journey to even greater heights.

It was well worth the read and I thank you for openly sharing your craft with the writing community for responseS like this.

Sincerely,

Brian KC
WDC Super Power Reviewer

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Angel Army Review of month 9/2023 Open in new Window. (E)
Award received from Angel Army for being one of their top reviewers.
#2306223 by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon


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Review of Impenetrable  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Richard ~ Looking for Luck! Author Icon,

"Impenetrable" is a charming eight-line poem that humorously addresses the concept of writer's block and the struggle to find inspiration and creativity. The structure and style are noteworthy, utilizing rhyme and humor effectively to convey message.

The poem adopts a consistent AABBA rhyme scheme, which adds to its playful and rhythmic quality. The use of end rhymes, such as "levity" with "propensity" and "aggregate" with "levitate," creates a pleasing sense of symmetry. This rhyme scheme offers a balance between humor and contemplation, making it enjoyable for me.

The theme of writer's block is approached with humor, relatable to anyone like me who has experienced moments of creative stagnation. The phrase "Impenetrable is my mind due to density" cleverly combines the literal density of the mind with the metaphorical density of writer's block. {e laugh} The poem humorously suggests that the mind's density can be so high that it struggles to grasp the immensity of ideas. This play on words is a clever use of poetic devices to convey a common creative struggle. Good on that.

Additionally, you employ alliteration effectively. Phrases like "Swirling fourth" and "mixing, to conflate" add to the musicality of the poem, enhancing its overall rhythm.

To enhance the poem further, have you considered expanding, as with the metaphor of the "open gate" and the mind's ability to allow thoughts to flow. The gate could be explored in more detail, offering readers a richer visual image to connect with. For example, describe the gate as rusty or well-oiled, symbolizing the ease or difficulty with which thoughts flow through it.

Sometimes, I get these notions and think ‘save it for another poem’. Often, I advise writers not to change what they have, but feel prompted to go after something new. I’ve borrowed from other poems I’ve written to construct new, from a favorite set of words, or word, weaveing through, invoking a theme of sorts (should I produce a collection).

In summary, "Impenetrable": delightful and witty, effectively explores the theme of writer's block through clever wordplay and a consistent rhyme scheme. I can also write promos and book blurbs. I’m at your service, once I finalized the five manuscripts I’m currently working on. *Laugh* I seriously need to get off my green recliner outpost. *Rolleyes* <——- Isn’t Writing ML fun? (say no, say no, say no) *Bigsmile*

I really loved this. Love reviewing.
Truly,

Brian
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How long did that take? 20 minutes…love talk-to-text, dislike greatly the formatting (longer).
Hopefully the emojis will summon the great review crediting gods! *Lightning2* Gotta be careful. *Wink*

I might open my own review group. Only been in the planning/beta stages 15+ years.


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Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Dear Dr Perry Ride Author Icon,

The short story "Is coffee a bane to be banned?" Open in new Window. explores a thought-provoking scenario where coffee is declared an illegal substance due to its caffeine content. Here's a reaction and some additional knowledge on the subject:

The Write and Its Implications
The story presents a unique and imaginative premise where coffee, a widely consumed beverage, is banned globally. The narrative is engaging, and it explores the consequences of such a decision. It brings out the various perspectives of people, from students in a classroom to the international community's reactions, making it a thought-provoking piece.

Strengths
Real-World Parallels
The story draws parallels to historical events like alcohol prohibition, which adds depth to the narrative and makes readers reflect on the potential societal impact of banning coffee.

Incorporation of Medical Knowledge
The inclusion of information about caffeine's effects on health, both its benefits and potential harms, adds credibility to the story.

Reader Response
Readers are likely to have mixed responses to this story. Some may find it a cautionary tale, highlighting the consequences of overconsumption and dependency on coffee. Others might view it as a dystopian scenario that makes them appreciate their coffee habits more.

What Could Be Better
Character Development
While the story provides insights into the teacher and a student named Henry, more character development could make the narrative more engaging. Adding personal stories or reactions from different characters can create a richer, more emotionally resonant experience for readers.

Exploration of Themes
The story touches upon themes of addiction, government regulation, and societal reactions. To enhance the narrative, it could delve deeper into these themes, providing more nuanced perspectives on the consequences of banning coffee.

Balancing Information
While the story includes informative elements about caffeine's effects, it should be careful not to overload the reader with too much data. Balancing storytelling and information is crucial to maintain reader engagement.

“Is coffee a bane to be banned?" is thought-provoking fiction and raises intriguing questions about the cultural, societal, and health aspects of coffee consumption. It's a good write with an imaginative concept. To improve, it could be fleshed out more, benefitting from further character development and deeper exploration of its themes.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
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Review of For Thee  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Dear John Author Icon,

I came across your poem "For Thee" and was given pause and thought I might like to offer my thoughts with some feedback.

This poem begins with a strong and evocative image of someone bowing on bended knee and submitting their soul willingly. This immediately sets a tone of devotion and sacrifice in my mind. The use of the word "curse" in the line "You utter a curse Line and verse" adds an intriguing layer of complexity. It suggests that the relationship or devotion being described may not be entirely positive, which piques this reader's curiosity.

The theme of the sea as a powerful and relentless force is well-established throughout the poem. The sea is personified as "O'Mighty Sea," and the speaker's life is dedicated to it. This theme of devotion to a powerful and unforgiving entity is compelling and creates a sense of tension and drama within the poem framework.

Your use of poetic devices is quite effective here. The repetition of "For thee" throughout the poem emphasizes the speaker's dedication and reinforces the central theme. The imagery of "Salted tears fall are mine" and "Baked sun, my lips do broil" adds vivid sensory details that help the reader to feel the speaker's suffering and sacrifice. Additionally, the alliteration in "baked" and "broil" creates a pleasing sonic quality.

However, there are areas where your poem could possibly be improved. The poem's brevity leaves room for further exploration of the theme and emotions. You might consider expanding on the reasons behind the speaker's devotion to the sea or delving deeper into the consequences of this devotion. This could provide more depth and complexity to the poem.

Furthermore, the poem's structure is quite minimal, and while free verse allows for creative freedom, adding some variation in line length or stanza breaks could enhance the visual and rhythmic aspects of the poem. Hearing it aloud is the truest test. I, myself, forget this.

In conclusion, "For Thee" was a thought-provoking poem to consider that explores themes of devotion and sacrifice with evocative imagery and effective use of poetic devices. To make it even more impactful, consider expanding on the theme and experimenting with the poem's structure a little bit. It was a pleasure to discover you and this.

Sincerely,

Brian
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Review of City Singing  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Miki,

First of all, let me say that your poem "City Singing" is a delightful and sensory-rich journey through a bustling urban landscape. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and here are my thoughts and feedback on what strikes me, what works well, and areas to consider:

What Strikes a Reader: Vivid Imagery: Your poem is filled with vivid, sensory imagery that brings the city to life. Readers can truly feel the hustle and bustle of the urban environment, from the "gritty city sidewalks" to the "whoosh-whoosh-whoosh" of passing vehicles.

Rhythmic Flow: Your poem has a wonderful rhythmic flow, mirroring the pace and movement of the city itself. It's evident in the onomatopoeic words and the repetition of sounds like "tick-ticking," "tap-tap-tap," and "whoosh-whoosh-whoosh."

Juxtaposition of Moments: You skillfully weave together various moments and sounds, creating a beautiful tapestry of city life. From the "homeless man murmuring a nursery rhyme" to the "ukulele chords" in a passing cafe, each moment adds a layer of depth and intrigue to the poem.

What Works Well: The Sensory Experience: The poem successfully immerses the reader in the sensory experience of the city. You've captured not only the visual elements but also the auditory sensations and even the tactile feel of the environment.

Concluding Twist: The final stanza is a pleasant twist that brings a smile. It adds a sense of personal connection to the city's symphony, and it's a lighthearted and unexpected ending that works well.

Use of Repetition: The repetition of sounds and words throughout the poem is effective in creating a sense of rhythm and emphasizing the theme of the city's "song."

Areas for Consideration:
Tighten Structure: Some lines and stanzas are longer and denser than others, which can affect the overall flow and consistency. Consider fine-tuning the structure to maintain a more consistent rhythm.

Punctuation and Capitalization:
There are moments when you've chosen to use unconventional punctuation and capitalization, such as "click-click-clicking" and "ditty persisting insistence." While this can work to convey the frenetic pace of the city, be mindful that it doesn't become too distracting or obscure the meaning.

Regarding Your Projects and Academics:
It's fantastic to hear about your academic background and your involvement in both film and literary projects. Your ability to craft vivid scenes and evoke emotions in "City Singing" is a testament to your talent. I encourage you to continue exploring your creativity, whether it's through novels, screenplays, or poetry. The ability to create such an immersive urban experience in a poem reflects a strong narrative sensibility that can certainly be an asset in other forms of storytelling.

In your future work, don't be afraid to experiment with style and form, as you've done here. The unique structure and perspective in "City Singing" make it an engaging read. Keep pushing the boundaries and honing your craft.

Overall, Miki, your poem captures the essence of a bustling city with remarkable clarity. The sensory richness and unique perspective make it a memorable piece.

Sincerely,
Brian
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Review of Klahhane Ridge  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello RatDog Author Icon,

Thank you for sharing your haiku "Klahhane Ridge” for feedback. Haikus are a beautiful form of poetry that require precision and elegance, and this one encapsulates the essence of a serene moment in nature. Here's my reaction and feedback:

Style and Form
The haiku's simplicity and brevity are its strengths. The three-line structure adheres to the traditional 5-7-5 syllable pattern, which adds a sense of traditional beauty. The stark contrast between the image of "Mountains out of sight" and the "grey wall" provides a striking visual contrast, which immediately engages the reader.

Theme and Imagery
The haiku beautifully captures a moment of profound connection with nature and mindfulness. It's about being present in the moment, where the mountains, though not visible, make an impact on the speaker's state of mind. The "grey wall" can be seen as a metaphor for a mental barrier or the mundane concerns of daily life, which momentarily recedes, allowing the speaker to find "Peace" within.

Poetic Devices
The haiku employs several poetic devices. Firstly, there's juxtaposition in the contrast between what's physically absent (the mountains) and what's vividly present (the "grey wall"), which creates a strong contrast. It's a fine example of how haikus often emphasize the significance of the moment by highlighting one or two key elements.

Suggestions for Improvement—
Given the brevity of haikus, it's essential to ensure that every word and syllable contributes meaningfully. In this haiku, "The" in the first line is not essential and could be omitted to create a more streamlined structure, like: "Mountains out of sight."

While traditional 5-7-5 haikus are prevalent, they're not the only form of haiku. Consider experimenting with variations that still capture the essence of the moment but don't necessarily adhere strictly to the syllable count. This can offer new perspectives and flexibility in your haiku writing.

In conclusion, this was a lovely haiku that brings the reader into a serene moment of mindfulness and connection with nature. Its brevity and simplicity are its strengths, and with a slight adjustment for conciseness, it could become even more potent in its reflection of the shared moment.

Sincerely,

Brian
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Review of InSect  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Axilea,

I've been keeping a poem of yours in my cue to review, wanting to reconnect here after all these years. Hope you are well. Would like to offer my reaction with some feedback.

I found "InSect" to be a thought-provoking poem that delves deep into themes of nostalgia, memory, and self-identity. The use of introspection is quite apparent throughout the poem, inviting readers to reflect on their own experiences and emotions.

The style of the poem is unique and distinctive, and while English may not be your first language, your choice of words and phrases adds a certain rawness and authenticity to the piece. It feels like a deeply personal reflection, which is a strength of the poem. However, in some instances, the broken English can make comprehension a bit challenging. For example, the lines "sap stealer -" and "forehead airbrushed -" could benefit from a bit more clarity or context.

You have effectively employed poetic devices to enhance the overall impact of the poem. The use of symbolism with the beetle armor and references to transformation and recollection adds depth to the narrative. The juxtaposition of "dead brilliance" and "stolen metal" conveys a sense of loss and impermanence, which is a poignant theme.

To improve the poem, consider providing a bit more context or narrative flow in certain sections. For example, the lines "flawless, washed and de-sinned / disinfected, forehead airbrushed -" could be expanded upon to help readers better understand their significance. Additionally, the poem could benefit from a more structured rhythm or meter to enhance the overall flow.

Overall, "InSect" is a powerful piece that showcases a fascinating and thought-provoking piece to consider. You are a skilled writer with a unique voice and perspective. It's a vivid exploration of great emotions and memories, and with some minor adjustments for clarity, it could become even more impactful for your readers.

Your old poet pal and Facebook buddy from WDC,

Brian

An Angel Army Reviewer
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Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Dear Jimmy E. Durham, RN-BC Author Icon,

I discoverd you short story some time ago and kept in the cue until I had time to give it a read and feedback. I found "A Gift from a Monster" Open in new Window. explores the deep, dark themes of grief, loss, anger, and vengeance. It effectively captures the protagonist's overwhelming emotions following the tragic death of her child and her husband's and her own desperate quest for justice. Some of my observations with what I found good and some suggestions for improvement outlined below:

It Had A Strong Emotional Impact:
The story successfully conveys the intense emotions of the protagonist, especially her grief and anger. The reader can feel her pain and frustration.

On Character Development:
The characters' emotions and inner conflicts are well-portrayed, particularly the divide between the husband and wife in dealing with their loss. The monster's chilling demeanor and the mother's indifference create a sense of foreboding.

About Imagery and Description:
The story uses vivid descriptions to evoke powerful emotions. However, there are moments when the graphic detail might be overly explicit. Balancing the gruesome details with subtlety could create a more suspenseful atmosphere.

As To Dialogue:
The dialogue effectively reveals the characters' emotions and motivations. However, consider using dialogue tags and attributions to clarify who is speaking, especially in scenes with multiple characters.

Per Structure and Pacing:
The story maintains the reader's interest with a steady pace, but it might benefit from shorter paragraphs and more varied sentence structure to enhance readability.

The Resolution:
The story concludes with a shocking revelation from the monster, leaving the reader with a disturbing impression. However, the ending could be made more impactful by delving deeper into the emotional aftermath for the protagonist and her husband, or by leaving some elements open to interpretation.

Considering Show vs. Tell:
Some parts of the story involve telling the reader what the characters are feeling or thinking rather than showing through actions and dialogue. Expanding on these moments with more active descriptions could further engage the reader.

Of Consistency in Tone:
While exploring dark and heavy themes, maintaining a consistent tone throughout the story is important. Some sections, like the mother's inner monologue, could be revised to ensure they align with the overall tone of the narrative.

Regarding Title Significance:
The title, "A Gift From A Monster," is thought-provoking, but its relevance could be made clearer within the story. Consider emphasizing the connection between the title and your narrative.

Relevance of Certain Details:
Some details about the mother's religious beliefs and her son's upbringing may be more explicit than necessary for the story's progression. Streamlining these sections could improve pacing.

As To Punctuation and Grammar:
There are occasional issues with punctuation, grammar, and formatting that can disrupt the flow of the story. Careful proofreading and editing would help in this regard.

“A Gift From A Monster" is indeed gripping and effectively conveys intense emotions with its exploration of dark themes. Given some refinements in structure, description, and pacing, the compelling nature of this reading experience can be even more intense, while maintaining its emotional impact.

It was a pleasure to read and consider your short story for feedback.

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
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Review of Thinking of You  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Chris,

Your lyrics in "Thinking of You" are a heartfelt and poignant tribute to your brother and sister, who you mention served in Iraq in 2002 and which inspired you to compose this. The song beautifully captures the deep sense of longing, pride, and support felt for loved ones during their time away.

The first verse of "Thinking of You" Open in new Window. reflects on cherished memories, highlighting the way time has passed yet those moments remain fresh in mind. It's a powerful way to convey the enduring connection and love for your siblings. The phrase "So little time for memories, but you're always in mine" encapsulates the sentiment perfectly.

The chorus of the song is particularly moving. The lines, "And you know I'm thinking of you, As the battle rages on, The same stars are out there, Wherever you are," express the idea that despite the physical distance, there's a cosmic connection and a sense of unity under the same stars. It's a beautiful metaphor for the unbreakable bond between family members, even in the face of adversity.

The second verse expresses concern for their safety and the desire for their safe return. The lines "Until the duty is done, All our hearts go there with you, And all our prayers are for you, To find us again" showing unwavering support and hope that they’d make it home safe and sound.

The song ends with a powerful crescendo, symbolizing a strong desire for this voice to reach and uplift brother and sister amidst the chaos of battle.

Overall, these lyrics are a moving tribute to the bravery and sacrifice of those serving in the military and the love and support of their families. The emotions and words resonate deeply, capturing the essence of what it means to have a loved one serving in a distant and dangerous place. The message is one of love, pride, and unwavering support, making "Thinking of You" a truly touching and meaningful song.

Thank you for sharing this with us,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
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for entry "Haiku: "Gentle Light"" Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Wheelbarrow Poetry Group (Be A...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Jay,

We had some good discussion about this haiku and it presents bright improvement. Without checking our emailed notes, but recalling general discussion from review to response, I sat down to offer this revised critique:

There’s a harmonious interplay of nature and light encapsulated in the concise form of Gentle Light. A new read of this haiku reveals how it paints a vivid picture of a serene scene where the late-day sun delicately interacts with the leaves of an elm tree. This revised version indeed exhibits improvement in creating a stronger connection to the subject and theme, while also incorporating more active and descriptive language.

The haiku begins with the phrase "through soft shade it shines," which beautifully conveys the idea of the sun's gentle illumination breaking through the foliage. This phrase sets the stage for the reader, creating a sense of anticipation. The use of "soft shade" is particularly effective in conveying a sense of calm and tranquility.

The middle line, "late day sun laminates leaves," is where the revised haiku truly shines. The choice of the word "laminates" is excellent, as it vividly describes the way the sunlight seems to coat the leaves, perhaps with a subtle golden glow. This adds depth to the imagery, to make a reader feel as though they are witnessing this moment firsthand.

The final line, "sunset cuddles elm," beautifully personifies the sun and the elm tree. This personification creates a warm and intimate tone, as if nature itself is embracing the tree in a tender moment. The choice of "cuddles" evokes a sense of comfort and affection.

"Haiku: "Gentle Light"" Open in new Window. achieves a remarkable harmony between its elements. The softness of the language mirrors the gentle play of light and shade, creating a tranquil atmosphere. However, one suggestion for further development could be to explore variations in the final line to deepen the emotional impact. For example, "sunset embraces elm" or "sunset cradles elm" might evoke slightly different feelings, adding another layer to your haiku's tone.

Editing a poem can be the more tiresome, tedious task. You’ve done well to breathe life through revision that successfully captures a serene moment in nature with your haiku. It effectively employs active and descriptive language to create a strong connection to its subject and theme, all while maintaining a poetic tone of tenderness and harmony.

Well done,

Brian
Red Wheelbarrow Poetry Group
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Also at the link above, further information should you or someone else need further assistance, feedback or review. I also accept email requests, (if just follow up): Brian K Compton Author Icon


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Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Ben,

I did and then didn’t and now do review case ‘colors’. Used to be a requirement with some reviewing groups. And now I see something else: how to spot gifted moderator writers…by their lower community recognition! *Laugh*

The 22 people who answered ‘toast’ basically skipped the poll, or really did have toast. *Think* The multiple choices seem to cover it all, even without breakfast options.

Early on, I thought moderators were to be seen and not heard. Took awhile to catch on.

The true divisions are amid your ranks. I was segregated for 14 years here. Still challenging the status quo. *fighthepower* Maybe, ironically. *RollEyes*

True question: was the inspiration for your poll based on a lack of attention to your and/or other’s written offerings? I’m sure there’s a poll out there complaining about Writing ML. I’m a copy and paste guy.

Lots of response for a 14-year-old poll, soooo… Mods, recog rank or no, get love. *Peace2*

Brian
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Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear WriterRick Author Icon,

I had the pleasure of discovering your poem, "Immortality ! Or ?” and would like to share my thoughts and feedback of your poem that explores notions of immortality versus mortality. I felt you handled the theme with thoughtfulness and good introspection.

Without a doubt that title caught my eye and found it a wonderful use of short expression that adds emotion from the get go. Your style in this poem is characterized by its contemplative and reflective tone. The language you use I found to be elegant and evocative, which effectively complements the theme. The poem's structure, with its rhyming quatrains, provides a sense of rhythmic consistency, enhancing the flow of those verses.

The theme of immortality and its implications for the human experience is a timeless and philosophical one. You delve into the idea of living beyond time's embrace, which has intrigued humanity for centuries. The poem questions whether immortality is truly a gift or a curse and prompts readers like me to consider the value of mortality. It sent me to thoughts up uploading our brains to scontinue on to the expansion of a time element. Can medicine with the help of AI really find a way to stop all diseases, extending life greatly?

Furthermore, I discover your use of poetic devices in this poem, such as metaphor and personification, is noteworthy. The comparison of immortality to an "endless, endless sea" effectively conveys the idea of infinite years, while the personification of immortality yearning for rest in the night adds depth and complexity to your theme.

Your poem effectively highlights the contrast between the desire for immortality and the beauty found in life's fleeting moments. Lines like "For life's true beauty lies in its fleeting grace" eloquently capture the essence of the poem, emphasizing the preciousness of mortality.

One suggestion for improvement might be to consider varying the line length or stanza structure in parts of the poem to create a more dynamic visual and rhythmic effect. This could add variety to the reading experience and emphasize certain key points or transitions within the poem. I often read aloud so I can imagine how a reader might experience it. These creations born in us are personal and often don't intend to translate to others, as it feels true to self. It does take a little refinment and adjustment to hone one's craft in order to better communicate our beauties with others that they might appreciate, too.

There is a possibility to explore the emotions or experiences of those who seek immortality in more depth. What drives their desire for eternal life? What do they sacrifice or gain in their pursuit? Adding more insight into the motivations and consequences could add emotional depth to this poem.

In the final stanza, where you encourage readers to "embrace the fleeting moments," the message of finding joy in the impermanence of life is clear and powerful. To further enhance this message, you could provide specific examples or anecdotes that illustrate the beauty and richness of these fleeting moments.

I find a reflective and philosophical poem that explores the timeless theme of immortality over destiny mortality. May you consider notions about form experimentation with line length, and also, looking deeper into emotions and experiences felt by those who seek immortality. A very worthy concept for poem.

This was a considerable topic for poetry to have been influenced by. Thank your for how you express and share these thoughts in your poetic offering.

Sincerely,

Brian
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for entry "Words" Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
GERVIC Author Icon,

I enjoyed reading your poem, "Words" Open in new Window., and wanted to share my thoughts and feedback. This poem is thoughtful and introspective with its approach that explores the power and impact of one’s words.

Your style is notable for its clarity and simplicity. The language you employed felt familiar and accessible to me, making for an easy read, as it engages within the scope of its theme. The poem's structure, with rhyming quatrains, added a sense of rhythm and consistency to pace the piece. I found the rhythmic quality auditorally complemented the poetic theme of words in how they flow and impact upon our lives.

The theme of the poem, the significance of words and the consequences they carry, is a universally relevant and thought-provoking one. You effectively convey the idea that words have the potential to nourish or wound, to uplift or harm. This especially resonates with people like me because it speaks to the responsibility that comes with communication. It's a very difficult one.

The use of poetic devices, such as alliteration in "pompous prance," adds a touch of musicality to the poem. It highlights the playfulness of words with the dance of a pen across the page. The metaphor of words being both nourishment and a weapon is powerful and a vivid image that reinforces throughout.

One suggestion I have for improvement is to consider expanding on the consequences of words in real-life situations. You've introduced the idea that words can have positive or negative impacts, but providing concrete examples or anecdotal evidence could make the theme even more relatable and emotionally resonant with your audience, reviewers or contest judges. It gave me pause to consider familiar and relatable scenarios that don’t take up much of the space alotted here, as it could help a reader connect on a deeper level with the poem’s message. And how one would approach that. Editing like this is daunting. I usually go to the next writing and consider information like this to approach.

Additionally, it concludes with a thought-provoking question, "Would you rather say the fact? Or keep in silence so that none would react?" It’s the type of question that echoes a thought from my own father, “think about what you say before you say it.’ Anecdotally, something like that can fit with theme. But your question is a strong ending, but would also suggest consider elaborating on it or offering some reflection on choices people make regarding their words. Expanding on this idea could add depth to the poem's conclusion. The end is fine, it's just what preceeds it.

What a well-crafted poem that explores the power of language and the choices we make when we communicate. Its impact can be even stronger, should you revisit. My offered suggestions usually center around giving poets or any writer something to consider before writing that next gem. It's advice that's helped me grow from this environment and has shaped me during my time here.

It’s a pleasure to read your work and have this chance to communicate my reaction and share.

Sincerely,

Brian
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Review of The Photograph  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Dear 💙 Carly: poems & novel Author Icon,

I had the pleasure of reading your poem, "A Photograph," and appreciate the opportunity to offer my thoughts and feedback. This poem explores themes of memory, nostalgia, and the power of photographs to rekindle emotions and memories.

The style of your poem is reflective and contemplative, which aligns well with the theme of revisiting memories from the past. The language you use was evocative, allowing this reader to immerse in the emotions and sensations of the moment. The added benefit of the poem's free verse structure provided flexibility in conveying the emotions and thoughts of the speaker.

The theme of the poem revolves around the discovery of an old photograph, which serves as a portal to memories long buried and forgotten. The poem beautifully captures the power of photographs to transport us back in time and evoke strong emotions. It also explores the idea that, despite the passage of years, love and its memories can remain vivid and timeless.

One notable poetic device in your poem is personification. You personify time, suggesting that it has shifted and that the memories are buried deep within it. This personification adds a layer of depth to the poem and reinforces the idea that time is not just a passive entity but one that can affect and hold memories. This especially was pleasent to consider.

The poem effectively conveyed the sense of nostalgia and bittersweet emotions that often accompany revisiting the past. Lines like "But our hearts know different — / For love, it was just yesterday" capture the sentiment that love and its memories can endure beyond the boundaries of time.

To further enhance your poem, you might consider experimenting with the arrangement of lines or stanzas to create a more dynamic visual and rhythmic effect. This could add variety to the reading experience and emphasize certain key moments or transitions within the poem. Centering a poem might be less effective in helping the eyes go to that next line.

This offering successfully conveyed the emotions of the discovery, but could benefit from some expansion on the speaker's response or actions. What does the\is person do after rediscovering the photograph? How do they feel and how does it affect their relationship or outlook on life? Expanding on these aspects could provide a deeper connection for readers.

What a poignant and emotionally resonant poem you’ve offered, exploring the power of memories and the role of photographs in rekindling the past. It was a pleasure to read and consider your offering, and I thank you for sharing it in our writing community.

Sincerely,

Brian
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Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Louis Williams Author Icon,

I've read your poem, "Ivy Tower Prophets" Open in new Window. and I appreciate the opportunity to offer my thoughts and feedback. This poem explores a political and philosophical theme with a clear message, and it employs several poetic devices effectively.

The style of your poem is direct and unapologetic, which matches the subject matter well. It conveys a sense of frustration and criticism towards those in positions of influence and power who prioritize their own agendas over their responsibilities. The language you use, particularly in phrases like "feeble thrones" and "discard all those intolerant you come near," creates a stark contrast between those in the ivory tower and the rest of society.

The subject of the poem, critiquing individuals in positions of authority or influence who neglect their responsibilities for personal gain or political point-scoring, is a pertinent and thought-provoking one. It addresses issues of moral responsibility and ethical leadership, which are important in both political and philosophical discussions.

Poetic devices, such as metaphor and personification, were employed skillfully to convey the poem's message. The comparison of the ivy tower prophets to ants and the idea of "chosen ignorance" effectively illustrated to me the disconnect between those in power and the suffering of those affected by their decisions. These devices enhance the impact of the poem. It should do well with your readerhip.

One suggestion for improvement is to consider providing more specific examples or details that illustrate the behavior and actions of the "ivy tower prophets." Offering concrete instances or anecdotes could make the critique more relatable and provide a stronger foundation for the poem's message. It's something I've oft ignored when passionately inspired by a write and realize the importance of connecting feelings with impetus that help a reader relate, or connect the dots.

Another thought I had, while the poem's direct and confrontational style serves its purpose, you might also experiment with subtler imagery or metaphors to add depth to the critique. This could provide a more nuanced perspective on the subject. This theme could be threaded by images and metaphors that sync up to intone what you offer.

In the final two lines, where you mention "grasping their forged crown," you effectively highlight the self-serving nature of the ivy tower prophets. To further emphasize this point, you could expand on the consequences of their actions or the impact on society as a whole.

In conclusion, "Ivy Tower Prophets" is a straightforward and critical poem that addresses an important political and philosophical theme and it bears repeating amidst the passivity of a society/world that is distracted with less important things. To enhance overall impact, consider providing those specific examples or more nuanced imagery to illustrate the behavior of those in power.

I appreciate you sharing this with this writing community and was my pleasure to read and lend feedback.

Sincerely,

Brian
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