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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sandywrite/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3
Review Requests: OFF
866 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
Not sure I have a style....I learn as much from you as you from me. I will point our typos, grammatical things if I see them. I love poetry and when it comes to stories, please nothing "dark"....not my thing.
I'm good at...
I will find typos, incomplete thought (unless I believe it is conducive to the poetry structure).
Favorite Genres
Romance, personal, periodicals with history, comical, stories about true life, children, animals
Least Favorite Genres
Dark, morbid, Sci-fi
I will not review...
Dark, morbid stories
Public Reviews
Previous ... 2 -3- 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 ... Next
51
51
Review of My word  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there, as you requested here is my review:

I like that you took on this as a poem and respect your comments. It is well written and gives us a bit of insight about you, the person. I have one comment on: the last line of your stanza of "I don't really care".

I'd do so as I say
Truth be told,
I don't really care

Is that really true? You don't really care? I don't think you really mean that or why would you bother with such an important statement in your poem!

You do care about your truth and in this poem you are defending yourself, so I question that comment as mentioned above.

Outside of that.....I like it and it serves you say who you are.

Thanks,

Seabreeze
52
52
Review of Max's Musings  
for entry "Floaters
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Max, wow, sorry to hear of your Saturday and that scare with your eyes. I have experience the floaters and in the last few years occasionally light that I see even when i close my eyes. It is, the best I can describe it, jagged design of light. I have had eye checkups and the only think my eye doctor is monitoring me for is possible cataracts. I have been told that the lights I see could be to stress (had plenty of that this year) and also using computer, phone. I have been also told that it is harmless. I am not sure they say that because they really don't know one way or the other. I am 74. Welcome, I guess to aging!

Hope all goes well with your next visit.

Seabreeze
53
53
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very lovely, your A Chill in a Breeze! I don't know the Haiku format very well but I know that I love how this poem flows! It is as I remember back to some mornings; especially in the early summer, at a camp site in the mountains! A crisp chill, coffee...we start to awake...YES!

Thank you so much for this journey,


Seabreeze
54
54
Review of Little Boy  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I truly could feel the emotion that went into writing this piece. It is unfortunate what children go through; it should never be. It is not what our heavenly Father wanted. However, He does not waste any of us and will take it and allow us to help others. I truly believe it. Keep writing; you have stories that others needs to hear and you have a talent for telling them

God bless
Seabreeze
55
55
Review of Guarded  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for looking at my Savior our Lord. I appreciate your comments and that you took time to read my poem.

I truly like your rendition; it speaks much of faith and understanding of our Lord. He truly blesses us and He keeps us in His guard especially if we our respectful of Him and follow his commandments. He gives us so much in return. You have identified our Lord here in your poem.

Thanks for your visit,

Seabreeze
56
56
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Fred,

I am almost sorry that the story has ended; what will I read next?

I came across to little typos:

"Bu that time....(probably by that )

"They're certainly going to that, but I.....(probably do that?)

The end code showing....


As for the story.....over all a great story. I don't know why, but the ending seem a little flat. Maybe I expected something different for Michael. Seem like he got such a raw deal, ha, ha.

I really do think this story could sell!

Best to you,
Sandy
57
57
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Wow. Like I said before, I like this story and all the suspense. Two areas Iam not clear on. 1. You indicated she slipped down the shaft...but later sitting at the desk?

2. I am not understanding what Rebecca meant about monitor 1?

Great writing in suspense, dialogue, interaction with the perpetrator.

Thanks Fred,
Sandy
58
58
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Yes indeed, the melting pot! Very nice; unique in its representation. There are so many things we can experience from each other and ENJOY! I only wish more people in the world could understand that. We are unique, as individuals, as communities, as countries, as nations.....I just wish we all could understand that....enjoy each other for those qualities.

I like your poem and how it describes people, qualities, ideas...it is fun to read, to reminisce on places and things. I would love to visit various countries (cannot afford) but at least I can enjoy what others are willing to share.

Thanks,
Seabreeze
59
59
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Oh My...I am loving the suspense! I have to say I have suspected just about anybody in this mystery. It could be Sarah, or Nancy...why not. Just because Nancy isn't living better doesn't mean she doesn't plan on living better. She could "lay low" and maybe later live better.

Fun to see all the tie-ins of various players in this picture.

I figures though, if Rebecca went back to her pad she might run into someone....could it be Oscar or ? Maybe that guy again who said he grandfather knew Michael's grandfather (I think that is how it went).

Anyways, I am enjoying this story.....it should be in a book, Fred. Seriously, it is good.

So, Now I am awaiting more.....

Seabreeze
60
60
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Fabulous story! It still has the intrigue that I remember, but I have forgotten some of the players or their part in the story. At least things seem to be pulling together....the men in the service together....special missions....and possibly trying to keep it hush. The figurine could be nothing other than a husband trying to take an artifact back from the war. Or, on the other hand, maybe a message inside the angel.

I love guessing along.....

I see a couple of possible typos:
"I don't recognize any of them, said. "But we (probably should be he said)

and
who had been caught unawares. (unaware)

I like the story and This chapter was packed....I don't think it was too long either.

I am trying to remember who Mr. F Banks is though?

Great suspense,

Seabreeze


61
61
Review of Chapter 16  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
It is so good to be back with Rebecca and Michael. With this story, the way Sarah grabbed the angel, not letting Michael protect any prints, makes me suspicious of her? Ya, she is old, but she could be wise to what her husband was into during the war years, right? Oh, I don't what you to tell me....just speaking out loud!

I see there is one more Chapter I need to read....so I will move on.

Thanks for posting more,

Sandy
62
62
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (4.5)
Interesting poem. I does get me thinking about time spent. I have never been a spur of the moment type person, so I cannot say that I have come up with a "thing" to do as you reference. I usually have to plan events with others. For myself, yes, I will say I need to do something different today.

As we get older, resting one day, and doing something fun the next has been my speed these days. I like your breakdown in the poem; how you have analyzed the situation.

I a world of electronics, I feel it stifles our creativity. Several years ago, my granddaughters (now 12, 10), would like to do crafts, draw, paint....but no, since their phones......not so much anymore. Creativity is out the window. So glad we Writing.com.

Best wishes,
Seabreeze
63
63
Review of Heart Song  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Heart Song - truly beautiful. I was just out walking through your portfolio and having a great time. The third stanza...beautifully written,

I have enjoyed my journey,

Seabreeze

64
64
Review of Winter Bloom  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Winter Bloom - oh such heart break! Glad to see it was written awhile back so hope your heart has taken a big healing!

I love the balance it has and how the words flow! Prompt is also interesting? Paper Hearts? Yes, they cannot and many are very pretty!

Great piece,

Seabreeze
65
65
Review of coastline  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, nice title for your selection! It is cheerful poem; fun to read.
Cherry lips; bubble gum - I would say it tells of a very young couple; like you
stated - just kids!

I like the quickness, the beat that you accomplished with one and two syllable words.

Using the word memories always, I feel, gets up, as a reading to reminisce. A very nice
poem to bring us back and to give us that moment of thought!

Thanks,
Seabreeze
66
66
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Tim,

Great post! I say that because, for me, it just confirmed to myself why I decided to be cremated. I don't want to be dug up, moved, or whatever...I prefer to have my ashes scattered, somewhere.

I have read to many stories of family fighting each year over where they were going to visit so and so's grave or not. My mom and dad told me of those families stories - mom and dad were cremated...scattered at sea.

Another problem, is the lack of attendance to graveyards over the years. Cities fight over what to do with cemeteries, whether to move the caskets to some other located because that piece of
land is now too valuable to let lie fallow. I say, put a golf course or a recreation center on it!

So.....I appreciate your post and it hits home to me.

I have been criticized for my beliefs because I am a Christian and many say that just isn't right. But, I say, my God is so big that I know he will not have a problem putting my soul back with a resurrected body when He comes back.

Best wishes to you,
Seabreeze
67
67
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow, what a story....the problem is....I want more. I want to read the book! In this day and age, anything is possible. I could see this happening to a few people...whether a scam or a government experiment...I could see it happening. Even if a select group wanted to kidnap a few, find out who could possibly pay, I could see that turning into a money maker for kidnappers.

So...when you going to post more? Is it a book?

Also, I may be one in a few who knows where Weed, CA is (I am a native California; grew up in Riverside).

Great story,

Seabreeze
68
68
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really like this and I am one who know about Cal Farley's and Boys Town. My dad use to donate to them. My dad was from Nebraska/Kansas area. I suspect the is a story...family or someone close to you that may have been part of the Cal Farley family?

In any case, well done with this poem....I love that it tells a story.

Seabreeze
69
69
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Amen! This is cute and so appropriate subject matter! At 74, I am pleased I can get the motor running and back her out each and every day!

Thanks for a fun moment!
Seabreeze
70
70
Review of Whitney Way  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (4.5)
Interesting post, Drifter. But, what is Whitney Way: housing complex, high tech business, fish house processing plant??

There is enough of a spark to get me to read your post and I can relate because I have relocated several times but nothing so abruptly. Maybe this would be one to continue on with?

Seabreeze
71
71
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Oh how adorable; I had never seen this before. I love that it is history combined with the true love of a Teddy! Well played out in its words. The style is unique but I always love it when the style is explained. There are so many aspects to poetry and thanks for your notes on The Teddy Poem!

Seabreeze
72
72
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Abaru
Here we go on the review. I put it in two parts:

Oliver:

Well, let me say I believe this is the first time I have ever read a story quite like this one. And, with that I mean it is very interesting concept to have this dialogue. My first question would be that if you continue the story, would you continue to use the same two people dialogue throughout the story? That could really be interesting.
Now, looking at Oliver, I see that flows well and I could clearly understand what he is thinking and doing. I am only disturbed that he would want to kill his daughter's mother. And, what women in her right mind would want a man who would admit to that? Creepy! Then again, he was going to therapy so that tells you something right there.
Now, one thing that seem out of order to me was him wanting to call his wife to say hi just before she was going to meet her fate. And, the other thing that didn't make any sense to me is that his daughter was in the car with the mother and she could be killed in the accident as well. He did she avoid being killed?? Also, I am not sure who Jennifer was talking to when she said "shut up". Was that two her daughter??

Shirley:

Wow, now there is a woman I would not want to get on her wrong side....devious person. We know about Tyrone, or at least we think we do. Was he her first victim? Some people love manipulating people; they make it their life's work. I really don't think she truly cares for Oliver but more about what Oliver can deliver (money, feed her ego, etc.).
Also, forgive me but I am not familiar with this phrase.... It was T minus two minutes before ?? What does this mean. Maybe something was left out?
Did Oliver not know that his wife when to get their daughter and she was in the car??
I gather that poor Oliver has been in shock...from what the doctor and Shirley have spoke about. But, he daughter made it...and Jennifer did not. But, now I am a little lost as we get to the ending. Oliver appears to be dead as well?? If that is the case, you need something more to explain how??

It has been an interesting story...good concept to use but needs a little extra clarification.
Thanks,
Seabreeze
73
73
Review of If I Disappeared  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (4.5)
Interesting poem; and a hard question to ask. I think many of us have a moments where we have wondered if we would be missed. It has good balance; I like the way it states but comes back and asks again.

I like...If I faded into the distance. In this crazy world, sometimes it seems that we have faded. We can be around people but still feel lonely.

Very nicely done,

Seabreeze
74
74
Review of Fantasy Love  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Fantasy Love - I think we all have had one similar if not almost a carbon copy. Sometimes it is hard to know how much of ourselves do we give - 60, 85, 95 percent? To remain ourselves, it sure cannot be 100%.

A lovely poem because it describes the truth of what can happen in a relationship. Sometimes I think we give and give and at some point expect the person we are giving to say, "stop" I have enough...but they don't and we give too much.

We can only hope we learn from our actions - the good ones and the bad ones. We must to remain whole.

Excellent poem,

Seabreeze
75
75
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Yes, been there and may have picked up the same breeze! Vegas has so changed. I love the fancy casinos but the crowds - no more! I remember when in the 60s how much less congested and fun it was to walk the area...and though the lights were not what they are today...it was still fun.

Good description of something gone wrong.

Seabreeze
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