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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sandywrite/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/7
Review Requests: OFF
866 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
Not sure I have a style....I learn as much from you as you from me. I will point our typos, grammatical things if I see them. I love poetry and when it comes to stories, please nothing "dark"....not my thing.
I'm good at...
I will find typos, incomplete thought (unless I believe it is conducive to the poetry structure).
Favorite Genres
Romance, personal, periodicals with history, comical, stories about true life, children, animals
Least Favorite Genres
Dark, morbid, Sci-fi
I will not review...
Dark, morbid stories
Public Reviews
Previous ... 3 4 5 6 -7- 8 9 10 11 12 ... Next
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Review of Chapter 10  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Interesting twist on the marble figurine. Now I am thinking that is it possible that the old man in the hospital is Michael's long lost dad? Anything is possible.

These is a lot going on in this story...I like that Rebecca has a case or maybe two...and Michael's having to "fight her" to keep his sanity.

It is a good story Fred...

Thanks,
Sandy
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Review of BLUE PORK CHOPS  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Cute story! I must know where did the phrase: ‘hair-o’-the-dog’ come from. I am in my 70s and it is a new one for me! I loved the way you described the lake and your being transposed into a Degas masterpiece in the Louvre. It immediately made me want to go to an art museum, say the Getty in Los Angeles or the Norton Simon.

Thanks,
Seabreeze

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Review of Chapter 9  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Fred,

On Chapter 9, did I miss something or did Tony slip out at some point?

I like the romance brewing and Sarah is so cute encouraging it.

So we don't know as yet why she came over to be with Sarah...so Sarah is encouraging
this who thing. Nice touch.

I didn't find any typos...maybe I am slipping up? (just kidding)

So, I Mike didn't take a disk, then......

I am looking forward to 10.

Till then,

see ya,
Sandy
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154
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Seabreeze here. I really appreciate that you took the time to make this entry and to
let us know what you are expecting and what you are writing. It is nice to know where
we can help place our time to best benefit you as well. Best blessings in your writings!

Thanks again,
Seabreeze
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155
Review of Little Dreamer  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very nice! I like it and it tells a story from the heart. I have a question regarding
the ending where you say, "I pray you will be known to life." If already born, not sure
what that means? I do not mean to be disrespectful but when I read it, it sounded as if
the baby had not been born.

Thank you and hope to see more of your writings!

Seabreeze
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156
Review of Chapter 8  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Fred,

So we have a crazy son, a character by the name of Melvin, who looks like he will do anything for
Sarge to get a share of what the statue is worth and now I am having a little trouble trying to
remember how this all fits into having both Rebecca and Michael showing up at the old house and
the fire. I may have to go back and do a little reviewing.

Life has been a little hectic around my place, but I will get back on board soon.

However, I am still trying to figure out what is going on inside the insurance company and how that
is all going to work out; I feel it is a connected to the figurine.

Thanks,
Sandy
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157
Review of Chapter 7  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Fred,

Chapter 7 - Sounds like Mike is going to get into more trouble taking evidence out of the department. It looks like it is the only way to see about the value of the statue.

I found no problems here so I am going to more on to Chapter 8.

Sandy
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158
Review of Tell Not A Soul.  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sunnie,

This poem so resonates with me now, in my life's current situation. I am in my 70's, widowed 9 years this September and I wish I could tell some people some things!

I have some friends, one close person but if I talk to her about some of my real feelings I will offend her.

I do have my own living quarters, below my son, but I still feel lonely. My health is okay except for my IBS which can alter my day's activities...but I can tell here!

I write poetry but sometimes the feeling isn't there. I so appreciate rh8s site and the people to pull me out if my slump.

So I tip my hat to you and your wonderful poem. And thank you for all your writing that help us all when we fall down.

Seabreeze
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159
Review of Chapter 6  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Fred,

Love the title of this Chapter 6 ...Itsy Bitsy Spider. Things are warming up to the
point I will have to keep notes to refer back. At the end of today's chapter, I was
trying to remember who Melvin was...or maybe I have not been introduced to the character
as yet.

I loved this phrase: "Enough to make anybody spill their curds and whey."

One little correction needed in this sentence: "Okay, what is it you haven't you told me?"
There is an extra "you" in the sentence.

That is all for now. I am taking a break. Beautiful outside and I must get my walk!

Later,

Sandy
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Review of Chapter 5  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Fred.

Well, you are ahead of me as I see you have got 8 chapters up. I just finished five and
going to see if I can get one more in, before I send another email.

Well I can see Rebecca is going to get herself into more trouble. The internal investigation
she is doing and NOW her apartment broken into....

Here are a few in corrections for you:

In your first segment of Chapter 5, in the second sentence there is:

.... had to an update (give an update or ?)

Also, in the first segment, I found the codes showed: (i)Why does Ester look so nervous?{/i} "

On to 6 I go,

Sandy
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161
Review of Chapter 4  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Fred,

Just finished Chapter 4 and was going to do 5 (if posted). I see characters building and my mind is wondering if there is any crossing over from the previous employees, at the insurance company, into the theft that Rebecca is investigating...I don't expect you to answer...just talking out loud!

I found a couple of items in this chapter:

1.About the 27 paragraph - "I'm so sorry, I was going too fast! (need end quotes)

2.Fifth paragraph up from the bottom of the page - "Are coming to the baby shower (need the word you after are)

That is all for now,

Sandy
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162
Review of Chapter 3  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Fred,

Well, things are really smoking now and I am enjoying it!

One typo, at a paragraph start, "You're go to..." I believe it is "You've got..."

Now, nice touch, the comment about meeting at a barbeque!

I am sure Sarah is a sharper knife than she lets on and knows a lot more about her past husband's activities.

I like how Rebecca and Michael are starting to like or tolerate each other.

Ocsar and his old man,,,the pot boils with these two. I am almost thinking that he was a recipe with Michael's grandfather in spy work, or maybe they both like the same girl, Sarah! I know, I must wait for more chapters.

Oh, I wanted to say, I don't feel chapters are long as long as they hold my interest, which these are doing well!

I am curious, does your wife read your stories, make comments or does she wait tell it is all complete? Some folks don't like it broken up and prefer reading it when complete.

Great read Fred!

As always,

Sandy
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163
Review of Chapter 2  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Fred,

I only spotted one typo.....at the second section of the story: You need a capital letter

across the street, a man sank in


This is a great story and a lot to put me teeth into and we are only in the second chapter! I like what is occurring so far and excited to see more.

Hope all is well with you and family,

Take care,

Sandy
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164
Review of Chapter 1  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Fred,

Well, either I am slipping up or you are "Johnny on the spot", as no typos that I could find

Rebecca, wow she is an interesting character. She has guts or she may be one of those dumb blonds. This figurine must have more than just sentimental value; maybe espionage code or thumb drive in it! I mean, if Rebecca is an insurance investigating agent and can afford to wear $100 blouses, I can see the stakes in the investigation being powerful. She needs a powerful client just to dress.

With kidding aside, I can see this getting juicy; I am ready for it. My own life lately needs a good diversion!

A side note, I noticed you went from a black suitcase to a yellow, while I wasn't looking. Congrats on that!

Awaiting more of Rebecca,

Cheers,

Sandy
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165
Review of My Blog  
for entry "April 10, 2019" 
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Amy Looking Forward,

Just joined Blogging Circle of Friends and came over to say hi! Love your images on your page
and hope to see more of your blog and others. Stop by and give mine a look; appreciate it.

Best in blogging,

Seabreeze
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Review of What is Humanity  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow, Melster - Very Nice! This in unique as I have not seen this format but I truly
like how you present the question of life! Not more to say except it resonates with me.

I also want to see, hello, newbie and welcome. I hope you enjoy your stay here; it is
a wonderful place.

Seabreeze
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167
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there, I thought I would give your story a review. Here we go:

I like the story and the detail of friendship that you have described. You have put your heart and soul into it and it comes through well. I see a few grammatical errors that I have pointed out below:

1. You can either say ... utterly captivated me but grammatically speaking you cannot say, orbs were utterly captivated me. The word "were" is not needed and doesn't sound correct. The word were is past tense, so it is not needed. If you were to speak of it in past tense then you would say, "... were utterly captivating.

2. In this sentence, "...assumed she would have been arrogant and looked down on us since she always had an air of superiority around her..." To say she would have been arrogant and looked down on us...does not sound appropriate. It should read, "...looked down on me." She is doing the looking and cannot look down on herself and you.

3. For this sentence: Her slender fingers would run down my back as she patted me gingerly on the back. If fingers are running down the back...who or what is "patting"? The two actions don't seem to go together, at least in my opinion. You would not pat and run fingers down the back at the same time? Maybe just me!

I find that writing is a combination of what we feel and what we have learned and we learn partly from what we do and say and, of course, what we read. If you are serious about writing, I suggest you read as much as you can. It will help you in organizing your thoughts and putting your word down.

If wish you the best in all that you do. This is an excellent site to learn from; keep it up!

Seabreeze
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168
Review of Run  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well done. It frighten me though as this morning I was looking at the damage in Nebraska from the flooding and your poem brought that back; people holding on to each other, running for their lives.
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
How long before we know we are a member? And, once we are, what is our game plan?

Seabreeze

** Image ID #1877260 Unavailable **
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, just to let you know, you pics are not coming through.

Seabreeze
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171
Review of Turning Point  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Very nice; I love the Sestina format and have written a couple myself (The Red Rose). It is fun
and relativity easy to so. Thanks for sharing.

Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I loved this! Vitamin F probably better than any of the other vitamins....I am sure they dissolve better into our bodies and our souls!

great post,

Seabreeze
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Review of If I  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this poem; the sound that comes from it as the meter of the poem has a nice ring. The subject matter tells me of a strong love and many can relate to that!

Very nice indeed,

Seabreeze
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Review of My Journal #2  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Yes, I so agree with you Blue. What get to me is that so yell tolerance. I believe in tolerance when that is really what is being identified. But many who yell tolerance wants it one sided. And, as you point out, if one wears their burka than another should be able to wear what they want. After all it is clothing. Societies have put too much emphases on symbols, etc., to the point that some have idolized them. Idols can come in many sizes and shapes. Some idolize their own opinions (far left) that they can even "tolerate" another's opinion. It is ridiculous!

Left rules, more respect for each other is what we need. All ideas you be heard and then we make our own decisions. That is freedom of choice.

Thanks again, Blue, for your post,

Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
So beautiful! I have never seen a butterfly with blue and black; only the monarch of gold and black. Truly a lovely poem and thank you for your trinket I collected.


Seabreeze
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