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893 Public Reviews Given
894 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Not sure I have a style....I learn as much from you as you from me. I will point our typos, grammatical things if I see them. I love poetry and when it comes to stories, please nothing "dark"....not my thing.
I'm good at...
I will find typos, incomplete thought (unless I believe it is conducive to the poetry structure).
Favorite Genres
Romance, personal, periodicals with history, comical, stories about true life, children, animals
Least Favorite Genres
Dark, morbid, Sci-fi
I will not review...
Dark, morbid stories
Public Reviews
Previous ... 5 6 7 8 -9- 10 11 12 13 14 ... Next
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow, you got me! I was thinking it was really an affair with a new car but the tide turned and there I was surprised! I loved every bit of it. I was moving in the car with you (blue T-bird). And, it was too real since I live in Utah and we have snow/ice all around right now. So, I enjoyed my ride all the way to the altar!

Thanks for the trip,
Seabreeze
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Review of Dance of Life  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
The name Dance of Life...truly that is what we do. We hope most of us get to strive, some less than others. We do mimic (love your choice of words). My favorite line would be the very first...metaphors rising from of the pools of our desires; well put. And the flair which you have for the words to pull me in, excellent. Boogie across the pages....I will now boogie on out.

Thanks for a great time.
Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a wonderful poem - or I like to say more of a really good summary of us, man! We have been given the ability to do good or bad, or choice, and would do both.

I love how you have brought it all out, very distinctly - great words chosen. Oh to write like that. I have written a few things (which I am please) but sometimes it takes too long for it to come to me. Does yours always flow???

I will be reviewing more as I have enjoyed me visit - thank you!

Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
how do I delete subscribed newsletters?
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (4.5)
The Griffin's Search....

Many times I pick a poem to read by the title; this is one of those times.
I love how you have carried the story, pulling me along.
This is a magical story that wants me to see the
griffin as I love griffins, and gargoyles.

The griffin's search is truly what makes me want to go with him.
The world of make believe keeps us hoping, encourages our
faith in many things. Keeps us younger.

You have brought many great items into the poem that set the stage,
makes the story more alive. Flying is magical in its own right.
To frolic in the sky where all the great bird soar.....what magic.

It has been a fun journey and I can see why you won an award
for this writing. Continue on and have the best time of your life
frolicking and soaring in your writings.

Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
How beautiful and how it applies to many of us.
Words chosen very carefully; very touch to
our hearts.
I thought of several of my friends who
have passed, who gave great joy, and as
I remember - still do.

Thank you for such lovely words,

Seabreeze
207
207
Review of Break Free  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Break Free is a very nice poem
and many of us can relate.
At some point we all want
to run away or get away from
it all. The child in us, I believe.
Getting away is refreshing, as is your
poem.

I like the rhyming, and the best words for me
"There is a world out there that I want to see".
You have talent so keeping writing......

Thanks for sharing,
Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Cryptic,

Came back to see some of your work and caught this one, One Step Ahead. I really like it.
I like the way you have rhymed the words; the short lines makes it flow real well.
I can read and relate; it is almost like a dance to me in its movement.
Most enjoyable read!

Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this opening story and can see or dream where you might take it. I love stories that reminisce and I think of one, "The Christmas Box" by Richard Evans.
They bring to us a chance to be young again, go back into time which most of us love.

I saw just two types: the correct words are hours (ours) and know (now); I have put the type in the brackets. I know for me, I appreciate having them
pointed out as you eyes go over and over and can still miss them.

I like the suspense that you put into you story and that it allowed the read to sort of draw their on possibilities....

I believe you have the makings of a great short story but easily a novel. Is there more now??

Great writing and best to you,
Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoyed the read and have the following to contribute:

possible errors:
wind pane? (window pane)
not at even one time (weak)
it couldn't have just has happened (wrong tense - it couldn't have just happened (not has))
The door was now a jar, like the church gates. (not sure what you mean - the door was ajar but past tense???)
The yelling didn't not help that much (didn't means did not so you do not need the extra not)
Last paragraph needs: knocking on my door
Then I thought to myself, what wrong I ever did to deserve all this torture in one night. (verbage?)
The "...just like He sent to us His only begotten son" kind of strong comparison for a nightmare?

I hope you will take my critiques as suggestions
for better grammatical writing.
You have no problem with imagination and
coming up with great descriptions.

I wish you the best in your writings
and hope to see more.

The best to you,
Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi, Seabreeze here again.

After reading your story
with a Genie and the Bum
I had to search more.

I have a feeling this
sort of happened to you?
We all seem to misplace
keys now and then - in
any case how cute!

It flows well and to the point
I could see is very well -
and, they look on the
face of surprise and
embarrasment.

Thanks again for
the enjoyment you
have brought to me
today!
212
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Review of Transformation  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I liked it! However, I was off,
I thought it was a horse
(the nostrils). But, of course,
hunters would not be after
horses, unless the horses
were after the mares (just saying).

Actually I am being silly.
I can see the wolf, as he
catches the scent of man
and his eyes start to
tear the man apart.

I am not familiar with Huitain
but will have to research it.
This is one of the things I love
about reading other works
because it opens new avenues
for us.

I very much liked the opening
Moonlight glistens on fallen snow
however, the fangs? Was there
a snake involved - just kidding!

I welcome your evaluation
of any of my writings.

Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this song, and I hope you have music for it. I love the words and how they flow. It hits my heart and I am old. Young love, we all remember it. We all need it in are lives.

I notices you haven't been to the site in a long while...I hope the reviews reach you and you are motivated to come back. Your talent is awaiting you......

Excellent writing,

Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nicely done. I was holding on during the ride as I am not a big fan of roller coasters. I did get to ride the Long Beach, CA (Pike) Cyclone before they took it down (old wooden one).

You did well in writing this, excellent grammer and punctuation. Do check were your comma's lie. I believe when having a quote, and it is enclosed and ends with, say, James said, there should be a comma after the quote as I've shown below (using one of your sentences):


“I’m so scared Brielle. What happens if we fall? This isn’t supposed to happen on our birthday!” Kayla cried.

There should be a comma after the quote or "birthday!", Kayla cried.

I believe it is referred to as, "using commas in direct speech". There are several of these missing and if I am right about the commas then it would apply throughout your story. I am not an expert but this is from observation and is a recommendation, while you are still learning and only to be helpful. It does not take away from the EXCELLENT story line.

I went to see how old you were - very please to see you are young, at least at the time you set your bio. Good writing is something that is missing from your folks today. Keep this up and continue to write shorts. One thing, I believe, if you can write shorts you can always write a book of short stories or maybe make them in to a novel.

I am going to look at some of your other creations,

Best to you,
Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (4.0)
I just wanted to say how much I like you Marriage to Friendship.
Great words that tells from the heart
One can really feel the hurt but also the love
I like how you used mine and mind and
"I surely don't want you if you don't want any part of me"
this is my favorite phrase....
My marriage was for 42 years - lost him to cancer
but, a loss is a loss and it hurts

You said it well - and I like best and quest.
Great writing Kings
216
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Review of Girl's Night Out  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice poem and I bet that it probably worked out that way. We all need a night out, especially raising children. The words ring true, they flow well and I like the mix. It has great sound, tells a wonderful story that many of us relate to. One reason I like poetry as it allows us to relate to life situation.

Thanks for entertaining me,
Seabreeze
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Review of Maisie's Mom Says  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very well written and it made me think of my granddaughters. The inquisitive child that has such a wonderful mind for learning. It is a cute story and flows well. I've enjoyed my visit.
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Review of The Mahogany Box  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your story is wonderful. I was holding on all the time excited to see what was coming. It is well written and easy to read. I believe I saw one typo - but can't remember just where.

There is romance, which I love, and a heart touching story of family love. The title pulled me in to start. I believe you have a winner here. I hope you will consider it for a contest.

The best to you,
Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi, long time since we talked (your did extensive review on my Bits and Pieces. I hope I thanked enough - but I left the scene and just got back into things here.

I love this piece, The Chair. In fact, it scares me a little that it is written so well by someone who is still around - thanks goodness!

It tells the story of what is occurring and what is to come.....very well done. If you haven't already, do enter it in a contest.

See ya around,
Seabreeze
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Review of College Story  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow, great writing. I am not of the college age, way past that, but I had fun reading your story. It brought back memories.

You have a wonderful flair for detail and your character writing kept me wanting more. I enjoyed the first part more as I like the touch of the professor coming in as a biker.

The last part, the ending, I am still out on that. Not sure if it has enough of a grabber and it may be me and the age different.

Keep up your wonderful writing,

Seabreeze
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Review of September  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice read. I like the acrostic style and September brought back a memory to me. Poetry is one of my favorite types of writing; it can awaken the spirit, it can plant a thought, it cheer us up or pull us down. However, there is always some activity when I read it. Thanks for my visit and your stirring words.

Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi YellowRose,

Great 15 lines. I was walking with you reading it. The ending was a surprise, which I liked. The romance is always welcome, especially at my age. I enjoyed the read,

Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Very nice. I like the mix of words and rhyme because I can visualize what is going on. I have been on that park bench and shared with someone all the things you mentioned. I find I love writing that speaks of nature - trees, wind, rain, clouds.....it takes me out, almost for a mini walk.

Great poem,

Seabreeze
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Review of Alzheimer's  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well, it says it all about Alzheimers. I love poetry with single word lines because it is so to the point. Great write.

Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Crypticomega,

Very nice poem and, even though I am not a fan of shell food, my mouth is watering for a bite of this delicious venture.

You do have a way with words - don't even let anyone discourage you with you goal for getting your book published!

Don't worry about any points coming back to me. As one old writing.com friend told me recently, save them to help encourage other newbies. You are still a newbie but I would not have know it without checking when you came into writing.com (7/12). I've been here over a year, so my "newbie" is out and it is time for me to get moving. You motivate me!

I will be back to look at Chapter 4 of your book The Unknown End soon. Thanks for the gps on my last review, but do save them for a newbie.

Best to you my friend,

Seabreeze
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