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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sandywrite/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10
Review Requests: OFF
866 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
Not sure I have a style....I learn as much from you as you from me. I will point our typos, grammatical things if I see them. I love poetry and when it comes to stories, please nothing "dark"....not my thing.
I'm good at...
I will find typos, incomplete thought (unless I believe it is conducive to the poetry structure).
Favorite Genres
Romance, personal, periodicals with history, comical, stories about true life, children, animals
Least Favorite Genres
Dark, morbid, Sci-fi
I will not review...
Dark, morbid stories
Public Reviews
Previous ... 6 7 8 9 -10- 11 12 13 14 15 ... Next
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Review of Time  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello By Wings of Thought,







Love your creation of Time. I can relate to wanting to "hold on". I am 73 and I find myself wanting to do more of it. Your words have been chosen well and they give excellent meaning to your "time".

I have one area I do not understand, but does not mean there is anything wrong...they phrase of "What's so hurry? It grammatically does not sound right to me... you are saying what is so hurry? Maybe what is the hurry or what is ......., so hurry?

Otherwise, it is very descriptive...

Best wishes in your writing,

p.s. welcome as, if I right, you are a newbe...welcome

Seabreeze
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Review of The Cat  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Everything was great till the ending---I was surprised. Seriously, I know it is comedy but, even though I am more of a lover of dogs, the thought of eating a cat doesn't do it for me.

However, as a poem I think it is well written. Lines flow and you have rhymed well!

Great writing,

Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Interesting intro; is the make believe world taking over. Carnival horses biting; looks like a great opening for a story like I remember on Twilight Zone!

Great writing,

Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Zen,

Interesting piece and, for me, very informative. I write mostly poetry but I like to see how others form their ideas - which I can learn from. Thinking about all of this, I started to remember, how do I decide what I am going to read. I range all the way from picking a book by its title (never the art work) to all the way from sitting down and reading a chapter.

I agree with you that a teaser is better. If I get too much information I may decided that I don't want to go any further because it sounds boring or not my cup of tea. Or, there is not enough information to get me to take her home.

Reviews are helpful - but may get too much and then, what's the point of reading it.

I appreciate your article and will check out your portfolio for other informative jewels.

Thanks,
Seabreeze
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Review of Silence is Golden  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Yes, Silence is golden

Beautifully written, this poem; brought back memories of the song with same title. Your line, "The PC thing to do is fix the blame" - yes, human nature. Written words allow us to reflect - that is what I like about poetry, as in the song, Silence is Golden, But my eyes still see (actions can be stronger than words or no action).

And, isn't wonderful that we can keep our thoughts to ourselves; as you have said, "To keep unto yourself if that's your choice."

Nice writing,

Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I like it; funny. But, one line is not clear to me:

I told the new Queen I wanted her first-born child. But it
was such an ugly baby, she wouldn’t even breast feed it.
She said she only liked it as a friend.
I don't understand the last line?

Could be just me....the rest I dig.

Seabreeze
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Review of Norman  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Such a cute poem and I think we all have had a "Norman" we wanted to bring home.

This story would make a cute part of a collection of poems, especially for children to read.

I love the ending, where by you are encouraged to bring a shovel.

Nice work,

Seabreeze
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Review of Xinta-3368  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (4.0)
Xinta-3368 - how adorable! First, the idea was, I thought unique, at least I don't see much in this area. I love the line..."A birthday celebration For some bloke named Bill." And then, to tell of a future time, but still antiquated female robot. I like that twist of something in the future but still already outdated!

And, then, not being involved....she forgets to speak. A life sometimes is a vicious circle...poor Xinta-3368 is back where she started. Sad but so cute.

I found it flows well, good rhyme and just loved!

Seabreeze
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Review of Devoted To You  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Love this format; beautiful poem. I would like to see more of this style as I feel it gives off good rhythm. I did one as well, called "Feelings". I like how you set it up; like a basket. It is your basket flowing with your love for her.

It is well written; showing the love you have for her.

Nice piece.

Seabreeze
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Review of Driven  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Driven- wow, it tell of how it will be for many when our Savior comes back. I love the format you haven chosen. My favorite lines - from the light of existence to the darkness of non-existence. And the last line, Adonai being stronger - praise Him for that!

Thanks for sharing,

Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi there, sure enjoyed I Miss You Already.

As a mom (however long ago), I can still relate (two granddaughers). We can hardy wait
when the birth takes place, then we cry when the bus picks them up for first day of school.
We are excited when they graduate and then elated if they remember us, and come home to visit.

Great piece,

Seabreeze



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Review of A Haunted House  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi. Found you on the Plug Page. Interesting story with suspense, and plenty to pull me along. Little Jay kept me intrigued; the title was what caught my eye when going thru the Plug Page. I like the flow of the story and how each new occupant is consumed by the house and/or by the loss of little Jay.

A good write. I did find paragraph 8 somewhat cumbersome.

"Then they made a coffin out of wood and let him lay there.
Closest family and she as their best friend were there putting
nails in the coffin."

It sound as if the body was receiving the nails as the sentence is currently structure.

Overall, I enjoyed it.

Best wishes
Seabreeze
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Review of The Sting  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Oh my, how cute is this. Fun to read and had me going there for a moment. I like what you did with this story; it brought memories of a cartoon, something to do with Magpies; loved those little guys.

I think you have a makings of short stories, book form, with Swoop, Grunge and Fats.

Thanks again for the fun entertainment!

Seabreeze

** Image ID #1837584 Unavailable **
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Review of Let it Snow  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
How adorable! I love play on words. Was there a Walter similar in your life, ha, ha!

Great work!

Seabreeze

** Image ID #1837584 Unavailable **
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (4.5)
I love Counting Raindrops! I like the words and how they flow. I believe it describes many of us and our lives, hectic, busy with busy stuff. The opening stanza tells how I have felt as many of us have at times.

I see you haven't been here lately; I hope you will come back. I, myself, was gone from here a long time but I have told myself I need to be here and express thru writing.

So I hope you see you have had a reviewer....good writing, hurry back.
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Review of I Lost My Wife  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
How cute and love the humor! I remember, years ago, if someone ran off, they use to say it was the milkman. We don't have milkmen anymore. Could it be the Good Humor man? If you don't know who that is, I know you are too young!

Your poem flows, love the rhyme, and in real life we need humor.

Great job, thank you for sharing.

Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a cute story; I really like it. I have one sentence that I am not clear on though.


“And the ideas won’t take off time while you fly, won’t they?”


If the lady is asking the question, I believe it should be..."will they, not won't they" Otherwise the verbiage doesn't should correct to me. I could be wrong but it sounds like you have statement and a question going together and it sounds confusing to me. Let me know...it just may be me.

Great story and I enjoyed reading it.

Seabreeze
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Review of No One Cares  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
I was pulled in by the title and so glad I came to read your creation. Dark and heavy; but this is life unfortunately. I like the rhythm; and yes, too many times "no one cares" Our society has drifted in that direction.

I like the piece and will be reading more. Keep writing, keep creating.

Seabreeze
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Review of TERRORISTS  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well, you asked me to come review; here I am. First I like the second part; the first, not sure. I understand you are trying to show a perspective from our Lord's point of view, which you have done well. I am not sure most believers would get past the first part to get to the best part.

Either way, it is good and it does state it as it is.....maybe a little more coming from our Lord needs to be in the second part. Remember this, Ephesians 6:12 "for we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rules, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." Yeshua (not Jesus as he never lived on Earth with that name) would not like us to refer to them as bastards and a few other choice words. I appreciate your opinion and love your writing, but will others take it as you truly mean it?

Just my opinion....keep up your work.
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love your poem. Reading it, makes me what to put myself there for the moment as it triggered the though that if more people would look back, try to visualize themselves as that dead person who gave their "all", maybe less and less would want to take part in causing that war, causing what may have drove us there, especially as a society. Heavy poem, heavy thought.

Very well done; I enjoyed the read!

Seabreeze
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Review of Depressed  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (4.5)
So good to see young folks here, writing, expressing themselves! Love your piece but sad to here of your experience. I hope it is true that you feel you have a purpose. We all have a purpose. I believe it with all my heart. I am 73 years old and have experience many emotions like yourself; I believe it is finding ourselves. You must believe in yourself. But, I also believe in a creator whose image we are created after. Each of us are so unique and we should build on those qualities. You have talents though you may have not found them as yet.

Yes, we create our own happiness, and sometimes sadness. We are responsible for using what we have been given, finding our creativity and using it! Keep up your writing, your expressing, your creative juices.....you are moving in the right direction.

Seabreeze
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Review of Remember Them All  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Your poem "Remember Them All" touched me. I liked that you use Lazarus' quote and I like that you came back with what seems like an answer to her quote for, at least, one generation. When saying into the flame they rode, is that referring to train cars? I believe many where transported that way and some probably walked directly into the chambers. I find your "Unbelieving and still hopeful" a good statement to be used in your poem as the shock of the whole ordeal must have been just that! And your ending was well put....remember them all. Let us never forget what happened.

Overall, I enjoyed your poem, words well placed, very precise, nothing need be added.

Seabreeze


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of The Grenade  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very cute. This is a great tweet. It is realistic and has everything to complete the story. I loved it!
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Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am not a newbie but I have been away from the site awhile and just today needed refresher on the bitem code. This newsletter should be sent to every new person in hopes that knowing the info will encourage them to join more contest to share their work.

Thanks again,
Seabreeze
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Review of The Christ Child!  
Review by Seabreeze
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very nicely done. I like the layout with placement and color; words well selected and placed.

Seabreeze
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