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Hello 
This is the final review gifted to you from the Simply Positive Group Leaders as part of the "Thank You Package" from "
Please keep in mind that any suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize your work in any way. 
ERRORS: No comma is needed after "morning". "weird bird singing" should be "weird bird was singing". A comma should follow "flew again" and "stood up". "to a cave" should be "a cave" instead. Several others like these noticed as well. 
SUGGESTIONS: Just a humble opinion, but I think Thomas is used too frequently in some of the paragraphs. Cutting it and replacing the name with "He" would have the same effect. 
MY THOUGHTS: The plot was interesting. I was surprised at the ending, and thought the lead-up to the mysterious bird was good. 
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: A comma should follow "to go", and a question mark come after "can I do". Just an opinion, but I think deleting the comma following "best dress" and adding and after it, and then replacing the question mark after "make up" with a period would make for a better read. A comma should follow "my rush". A couple of others like these were spotted also, yet I still found the story enjoyable. There are also some paragraphs that need a space between them like the others. 
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: The characters are defined well, and the storyline good. 
OVERALL OPINION: Unlike the main character, I would never leave a party and go into a deserted parking lot. 
However, the suspense of what might happen held my interest. I was so glad she was wise and phones her husband. 
Hello 
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: No grammatical, spelling, or other mistakes were noticed, and I cannot think of anything that would improve the poem. 
CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE: N/A 
Hello 
Please remember that any suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize.
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: N/A 
SUGGESTIONS AND ERRORS: No grammatical or other mistakes were noticed, and there are no suggestions for improvement. 
ERRORS & SUGGESTIONS: Having had the pleasure of visiting your portfolio before, it did not surprise me that no mistake3s were found. There are no suggestions to offer that I feel would improve the poem. 
CHARACTERS: N/A
There are no suggestions for improvement. 
PLOT: N/A 
OVERALL OPINION: You did a terrific job of relaying how strong friendship is. On-line friends can become family in time, another point you have expressed well. However, this relationship was different. The more you wanted is natural under the circumstances, and I can see why the relationship remains alive in your memory. 
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: N/A 
MY THOUGHTS: This is a wonderful tribute to your grandparents and aunt. The imagery of this special place is terrific. Memories like the ones relayed in the poem are tucked in the heart forever, which is summed up in the last two lines beautifully. I hope you get to return to the room. 
Please keep in mind that any suggestions made are only the opinion of this reader, whose intention is to help, not criticize your work in any way.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: A space is needed between "eachother". Just an opinion, but I think the item would make for a better presentation if put into paragraphs and punctuality was used. I think cutting one "grew" in "grew and grew" could be made and still have the same effect. 
PLOT: The storyline is good also. It touched me. 
OVERALL OPINION: My heart went out to the child's friend who burned in the fire, and to her too. As if that was not painful enough, her father's actions and what her brother's friend did were just as heartbreaking. This is a good, but sad story. 
WHAT I ENJOYED: You drew me into the tale from the beginning. I knew Jake was in for trouble when he shut the door and heard the hissing. I liked the irony represented by the sign Jake saw and the one seen by Alex in the last paragraph.
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: N/A 
An excellent story, yet a tear-jerker.