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Review Requests: OFF
1,485 Public Reviews Given
1,947 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I have a form I use for reviews. I look for a Goal, Motivation, Conflict and Resolution. It also allows me to tell what I liked and what I thinks needs improving. In my reviews I may make suggestions by adding my take on what the author is trying to say. Purely a suggestion to take or leave as needed.
I'm good at...
Giving in depth and fair reviews. I usually review stories that interest me. I don't always like them but they have promise and potential. I am fair but I AM reviewing. I do not review grammar or spelling. I do point out past and present tenses as well as the over use of WAS, WENT, THE and THAT in one story so watch those.
Favorite Genres
inspirational, mystery,action/Adventure, paranormal and anything that falls into those broad genre, some fantasy and comedy
Least Favorite Genres
Vampires,YA or adult. This genre is overrated and unless you write much better than Steph Meyer, I probably won't read it. Most Non-fiction unless the premise interest me. Always worth an ask.
Favorite Item Types
Everything in the STATIC file except the ones listed below: Look down
Least Favorite Item Types
Appendix, bulletin, campfire, in n out, editorial,letter/memo, lyrics, outline, preface, script/play, Poetry.
I will not review...
Poetry. I don't understand this style and don't feel confident to review it. Novel or novella, I reserve the right to refuse to review. Not to hurt feelings, but time wise it may be something I can't give good attention to, but always ask.
Public Reviews
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301
Review by Quick-Quill
In affiliation with The Central Bank  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I like your questions and they do cover what most people believe as a "Witch." While I believe the word itself connotates all of the definitions you listed, I could not put one above the other.
Whether one is actually a ugly hag is up to the observer. Some don't consider themselves as worshiping the devil, but when you are promoting anything that is not the worship of the Heavenly God or going against what the Bible teaches, I believe that person has become partners with satan and his spirits that come in many forms of delusion.


*Ghost* This is a Supernatural Review Raid on behalf of *Ghost*
"The Central Bank



302
302
Review by Quick-Quill
Rated: E | (4.0)
I didn't get the correlation between snow and God's message. One reason is I usually don't understand poetry. It might help if you saved this as a POETRY listing so others know what it is when we scroll down to read and review
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303
Review by Quick-Quill
In affiliation with The Central Bank  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I think your poll is too extreme in its direction. All humans have a measure of compassion and kindness that is given at birth. This is however a gift from God as we(our souls) are sent from heaven to earth.
You cannot exist without God so saying that feelings can exist without God is like saying that If I don't see the sun for days it isn't there.
I suggest you reword the question or add more options of choice, if you really want an accurate poll.

This is a Supernatural Review Raid on behalf of
"Supernatural Group"
304
304
Review of Potter Poll  
Review by Quick-Quill
In affiliation with The Central Bank  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I think you have a good poll. You want to know what a Christian thinks about Harry Potter and witchcraft. Some polls I feel leave too much open for interpretation. You chose a specific line and kept to that line of questions.
I hope you got your answer. It would be interesting to see what these same people who do not think it promotes witchcraft feel about the wizardry that is part of the books. Maybe (like me) the "magic" is not witchcraft but represents something else. Hmmm that would be hard to put into a poll but an essay to get people to put their thoughts about HP in print.

This is a Supernatural Review Raid on behalf of
"Supernatural Group"
305
305
Review of Unaccepted  
Review by Quick-Quill
In affiliation with The Central Bank  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
The goal was for a woman to have a child. The motivation was a desire to please her husband. The conflict is she is not getting pregnant but seems to be healthy. She also finds that the tea she is drinking, prepared by her brother-in-law is poison. The resolution is she leaves.

What didn't work was the style of writing. It doesn't flow as a story but seems to be a bunch of bullit points. The sentences are too short and choppy. Except for the ending dialog which is very good.

This is a Supernatural Review Raid on behalf of
"Supernatural Group"


306
306
Review by Quick-Quill
In affiliation with The Central Bank  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
The story begins with a Psychiatrist who meets someone with the questions all of us ask at some point in time. Sometimes aloud other times the questions are answered before they are asked. The man we are introduced to was abused as a child for his distorted behavior. The POV of this story leads the reader to believe they are the psychiatrist. At the end the reader finds the "I" is the psyciopath and the dead person is the psychiatrist.
What worked for me was the line of questions and answered. I liked the way the person thinks and talleys the answers.
What didn't work for me was the mix up of POV at the end. I could see the psyciopath killing the psychiatrist but not the switch of POV's
Goos writing with imagery.

This is a Supernatural Review Raid on behalf of
"Supernatural Group"


307
307
Review of Spring Break  
Review by Quick-Quill
In affiliation with The Central Bank  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
The goal is freedom. the motivation is the constant beating he has been given by his jailer. The conflicts are his physical limitations and the obsticles of the room. the result is the squeaking door knob.
The discriptions of his physical problems and the beatings he and other received was very descriptive. The reason for him being there was not provided. While not necessary for this bit it was a question.
Well done, Keep writing.

This is a Supernatural Review Raid on behalf of
"Supernatural Group"


308
308
Review of Mind Games  
Review by Quick-Quill
Rated: E | (4.5)
The goal was to get a ride. The thoughts that the hitch hiker thinks brings the reader into his mind. What the man supposes give the reader an indsight into his education and superior intellect. while he thinks the on coming car will pass him, he is mistaken and gets a ride. What passes through his mind is a treat to any highly intelligent reader.
This was a real treat to read. While there was no suspense or thiller aspect to this story I would just call this fiction. It isn't dark, but quite entertaining.
I like this story and hope to read more from you

This is a Supernatural Review Raid on behalf of
"Supernatural Group"


309
309
Review by Quick-Quill
In affiliation with The Central Bank  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
The goal was for Vanessa to find something that would get her released from her prison. She was motivated by the thought of her daughter. She is locked in some sort of basement, cuffed to a post. She uses everything she has to reach an object she just felt with her fingers. She reaches her immediate goal.
I like her determination. Then end was all about hope. There was no resolution to the story but it gave the reader hope.




This is a Supernatural Review Raid on behalf of
"Supernatural Group"






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Review of Quarry  
Review by Quick-Quill
In affiliation with The Central Bank  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
You have good ideas. I like your little plots they give a lot of food for thought. They are incomplete but what you give allows for deeper and longer versions to be written. You give just enough information with a twist that really puts the writer within me to want more. More character, more story, more of everything.
I am curious why you write these short vignettes that go no where but leave so many questions.
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311
Review of Resolution  
Review by Quick-Quill
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Good dialog. You gave a good insight into the two, which we know are a woman and a man. They are not invovled with each other, one is in a relationship the other is undetermined. They discuss their new year's resolution then shoot some one.
I saw no point in the story, the goal to kill someone is not revealed until the end with no reason.
312
312
Review by Quick-Quill
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
The beginning and the end were the most interesting part. The middle was hard to follow and with no spacing the action moved to fast.
I got there is some Woman but no idea who she is and the reference to The Great One must mean her.
Killing everyone in the White House for no reason seems odd, but sometimes it is explained later.
I like the fact that somehow the id bracelet was found. It seems an interesting story for now.
313
313
Review of Balance  
Review by Quick-Quill
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Heart* Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion. *Reading*

*Flower4* What is the goal of the main Character? to be the best

*Gift1* What motivates that Character to continue to reach that goal? he wants to be better than Donny

*Balloon5* What conflicts or situation are trying to prevent the main character from reaching the goal? physical restrictions, age and opportunity

*Balloon4* Resolution he almost had the goal in sight when a very small detail was introduced to the act.

*Balloon4* Do the characters develop in this story? Not to much but we get the idea that they love competing against each other. It was also friendly, not vicious

*Gift2* What I liked about the story The outrageousness of the competition

*Gift2* What do I think needs work nothing is was entertaining and funny

314
314
Review by Quick-Quill
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This comes as my opinion and is not meant as a criticism of the writer. Please accept my comments offered in kindness. You may do what you wish with them. iLove2write



*Gift1*Plot A girl goes to a mental hospital as a cutter

*Gift2* Characters Tambrey, Connor and others at the institiute

*Gift3* Reference Present time

*Gift4* General impressions The kid's explanations are too clinical. they don't act the way I think kids in that situation and with those problems. having talked to kids with issues like this they aren't as clinically open unless they are being defensive.
I did not get the point of the Tambrey's repressed memory or her connection to Connor. They were both abused but there was not enough information of what and where they were to give the reader some idea of what was going on. The writer knew but telling is not showing. Who was the blond? why were they doing this? time line doesn't fit as they seem like HS kids and if she did this just a few years ago she would be very young. It was depressing with no real conclusion


Line Items:
“We met a few years ago, you don’t remember, the doctors don’t know what happened, they think you repressed all your memories because of something tragic that happened, I can’t tell you what, you need to figure that out… that’s why I ask about the dream, there’s two you need to have. So go to sleep cupcake.” I don't get this explanation. if it were a few years ago where was she this whole time and why did she check herself in? Don't you think she would remember her Drs. and didn't they keep watch over her as a cutter?
315
315
Review of Wasteland.  
Review by Quick-Quill
Rated: E | (4.0)
I appreciate the opposites you were trying to impose. You gave equal time to each side of the equation. The side of the rich versus the side of the poor orphan or foster home attendee. You gave what you felt was appropriate renditions for each side picking what you wanted to portray to make the reader feel sorry for one side and dispassionate at the other side.
What didn't work for me was the emotion that affected the rich person who was rude, angry and disrespectful of others. This person is a representation of your idea of what rich people are like and then you also gave sympathy to what you picked at a representation of all foster homes.

I realize that there are faults on both sides, I just think this rendition of Scrooge with a sad ending is tiresome and overdone. There are many capitalized words that show your emotion and connection to this story. I hope you had a Merry Christmas and that you are not the person who thinks all is lost and not worth living.
316
316
Review of The Club  
Review by Quick-Quill
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Very well written. The goal was to sign the new group to a contract, the motivation was greed on the part of the group. The conflict was getting them to sign, enticing them with promises and more money. The resolution was the signed contract and the unsuspecting results by the group's members.
The story was a little predictable to me as I have an insight into certain lines of writing. The end was not a surprise to me but I think to most people they will not see it coming until it hits them. I can't find anything wrong with the story, Well done.
317
317
Review of Captured  
Review by Quick-Quill
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Good plot line, great setting and the dialogue. You have a very unique way of writing. You tease the reader with the posibilites then abruptly drop them off a cliff and give them a short parachute.
I was intrigued with the setting and the goal. To find his missing daughter. All of the sudden he remembers that he had been taking a movie of her before going to the restroom. Chelsea was abducted. My guess is the film somehow revealed the abductor and the little girl is fine. End of story.
318
318
Review of Did You Hear?  
Review by Quick-Quill
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
It took me a few paragraphs to figure out who was speaking and the POV. Once the introduction of the cups was made, the next few paragrphs were interesting. It filled in Kat and Suzie's characters. Then the story dropped off the edge. It left me with too many unanswered questions. I love mysteries. I love the supernatural, so I was hoping for gossiping Suzie to get a lesson in keeping her mouth shut by some magic that the cups held. Something happened, I wasn't told. Then the cups were sent off. Why weren't the cups used, and why didn't the magic effect Kat and her desires? ???
The form was well done. The dialogue was easy to follow and the description was well set. I was just left out to dry.
319
319
Review by Quick-Quill
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
What a wonderful story! I burst out laughing at the word painting of your dog hat and the do or die feeling. I am still chuckling!
The goal was just to do a little fishing, when an unexpected friend decided to join you for the company. What ensued was a comedy of errors and conflict that made a ho hum story into one that is over the top.
You took this reader on an adventure. I know a little about fishing as I tried to be the "boy" in my dad's all girl family. I would have been great at it if I were given more encouragement, but I was a girl after all.
You allowed this reader to join the fray and experience the moment to its fullest. Thank you for enlightening my day!! Still Smiling!!!
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Review of The Cave  
Review by Quick-Quill
Rated: E | (4.0)
This piece has a great promise. The story is good, the details are well defined. it is the manner in which the story is written that dosen't work for me.
It doesn't flow like your other piece did. The wording is stilted.
Because you said he could see the cave it is the readers assumption that he knew about it. If not you might write. Eric pulled aside the branches as he climbed the steep hill. Ahead was a dark area that he was using as his focal point. Once he reached it, he stood, out of breath but pleased to see it was the opening of a cave. Do you see how the change was made? You did nothing wrong in how you wrote it, but adding emotion, work and reward to the efford made the reader out of breath too.
His entering in the cave is boring. Was water dripping from the ceiling? maybe some spider webs. If there had been someone there then he might have noticed some rags, or a shoe as his flashlight scanned the floor. Things that would give him some kind of fear. You showed he had no fear of the dark and no fear of the unknown. I don't know about you but there aren't too many people like that. Everyone is afraid of something.
From then on out you did a good job. I didn't care for the fact that some kind of wall materialzed. You didn't give any indication there was magic in the air. Do you know what a monkey jar is? You can look it up if you want, that is what you might want to catch Eric with.
Keep writing you have good stories.
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Review of The Place  
Review by Quick-Quill
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was an interesting piece. As I read it I thought of the commercial about depression and the pit that follows the lady even though she takes drugs to control it.
The beginning starts in a very dark place and goes on to describe the darkness that has controlled eveything in this person's life. Then there was hope. at first it was just a thought and a choice, then selfpreservation took over. The guide to thend was successful and while not a happy ending at least one that can be lived with. keep writing as it may help keep the darkness at bay.
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Review of ETERNITY  
Review by Quick-Quill
Rated: E | (4.5)
While this is a very nice piece written as if a memory from a dream, I do not think it relates to the title. I was expecting something deeper and more profound.
The setting was well described as were the participants of the story. The writer was well connected to those characters.
It seemed to have no real point other than the arriving at a place this man had not been before and ended by seeing those who had passed on before him. There was no real sense of where they were other than the personal belief that all go to one place no matter what life they may have lived in the past.
Interesting concept and confusing to me in comparison to what I have read from you previously.
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Review of SHOP WITH CARE  
Review by Quick-Quill
Rated: E | (5.0)
I have read this story a number of times in emails sent and forwarded in the past years. I think that keeping the ones that mean the most to us are like reading stories from the Bible. They give new meaning as we make our way through life. Our busy schedules often keep us from internal introspection so these emails or readings might be a way of stopping us, to remind us, who we are and our place in this life.
Thank you for sharing that story again.
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324
Review by Quick-Quill
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was very informative. You listed many examples of people who have claimed to see ghosts. Like the many TV shows now days (that I view as great comedy) there is little proof of what they are seeing as ghosts.
I enjoyed reading the researched items you listed, but in the end you did not convince me of your perspective on the subject. There was the question, the list of possible support theories or sightings by respected people, but there is no conjecture or conclusion.
I do not believe in the popular ghost or search for the proof of ghosts of today. I believe in Spirits. I was hoping to read your thoughts and belief on the subject and I was disappointed in that respect.
Very good points but no connection to the writer.
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325
Review by Quick-Quill
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a wonderful tale. I always say that because of the era we lived in you can't throw something out until it has been proven there is no safe way of consuming it. You have proved that point.
The description of items found made me laugh, as I have been slowly doing the same. Yes the crisper. I call it the unclaimed treasure drawer.
This was a real treat to read and I have enjoyed the trips into your port
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