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1,154 Public Reviews Given
1,164 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Dorian, I am Tinker and I'm reviewing your essay "Narcissism: Oscar Wilde and Iain Banks" which I found fascinating. A review is one person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

I don't normally review essays so I actually looked up "the elements of an essay", so I would be better informed. Your essay appears to carry all of the elements; a written argument, readable in one sitting in which an idea is developed and supported. You even provide footnotes as support.

I have to admit to initially taking one look at the paper and thinking, no way am I going to slog through all of that. Your long, dense paragraphs will scare off the best of readers. If you want this read by more people, I'd break up your paragraphs to make this essay easier to read.

I found your comparisons interesting and informative. I am familiar with both stories but have read neither so I rely on you to clarify which you did. This is a powerful piece though difficult to read because of the density I mentioned before.

Thank you for sharing this here. I feel I have learned because of it.

~~Tink
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377
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Neva, This surprised me from you, I'm reading your View From the Back of a Pick Up Truck. I learn something new about someone everyday. This nostalgic poem took me back, I used to love to sit in the back except when there was loose hay back there and it would blow and get in my hair.

I loved these lines:
"I watch
as wheat fields and orchards
fly into the past."

But then your poem takes a turn. You consider turning around and changing your view... Look forward instead of look back. Something to think about.

Nice poem, ~~Tink
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378
Review of I'm sorry  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Why, I am reviewing your letter "I'm Sorry" to Megan. It sounded very personal and sounded very young.

Authors often take on personas to deliver a message through their writing, therefore I try not to think the author is the narrator. However, in this case, that is what it felt like reading this. As if the only 2 people that should read this letter are you and Megan.

From a random stranger reading this, it might have gone on a little too long in the details of what the narrator did or didn't do to hurt Megan. Otherwise it sounded sincere.

I hope she accepted the apology.

~~Tink

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379
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Well Jay, You know your voice. Your Guiding the Next Generation is a wonderful poem about how you make your living. It fails miserably as a Free Verse haha, but you knew that before you started writing it.

Sometimes it is good to step out of your comfort zone. I would love to see what you would do even if it is your second language.

~~Tink
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380
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi PoeticFox, I'm Tinker and I'm reviewing your Gimme Back My Rum and Mead, great title who could resist reading this one? Use what you think will help and ignore the rest of my comments, they are just one person's opinion.

Free Verse in 26 with some chant like repetition, good use of line breaks and even some random rhyme. Clearly the skills are there.

This starts out as a charming ditty and turns into a terrible scene. Eeeew, I don't think I can read it a 2nd time. I'm sorry, I really don't have more I can say.

~~Tink
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381
381
Review of She is Somebody  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Raksha, I am reviewing your "She is Sombody". Use what you think helpful and ignore the rest, a review is just one other person's opinion.

As far as form, I wasn't quite sure if I was just ready a list of statements or whether this was meant to be a prose poem or a Free Verse poem. If it was free verse you did not take advantage of the line break and a prose poem had a little more depth within each though unit. As a simple list, you seem to have very little difference between each line.

This is very sad, almost like a mantra speaking to someone else while trying to convince herself. Too many abstracts and nothing concrete.

As far as this piece, I recommend that you add something concrete to ground the piece and give it credence and condense the lines.

The good news is, that you can write. Keep at it.

~~Tink
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382
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Loonuh, I'm reviewing your "You're a Beautiful Person" a lovely poem that will make " hearts happy and put smiles on faces."

Free verse that uses the line break effectively. Written like a note or letter to a specific person, the reader. That is clever.

I would normally say you need something concrete to anchor the poem but the message and sincerity shine through this piece without it.

I think this poem accomplishes your intent. It is skillfully written. Keep writing.

~~Tink
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383
Review of The Dance  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Dorianne, I'm reading and reviewing your poem, "The Dance", a Minute Poem. Use what you think helpful and ignore the rest, a review is just one person's opinion.

The Minute Poem isn't just rhyme and syllable count, it is a 60 syllable verse form, one syllable for each second in a minute. The theme should be an event that is over and done completely, as in a minute. You begin as if this is happening in the first 2 stanzas then you switch and leave the dance and your ex and talk about a new love. I didn't follow this.

I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. Your last line, a typo, guarantee not guarentee .

I like that you attempted this form and I really enjoyed the concept of an ex asking you to dance and it was as before. Up to this point I was with you.

Keep writing.

~~Tink
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Review of The Dentist  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hi Poison Ivy, I'm reading and reviewing your "The Dentist" and I think you probably won the contest. *Laugh*

This free verse writing, (do I have to call it a poem?), uses the line break of free verse, is unrhymed and unmetered.

It is funny, you didn't need that last line... It actually could be a half way decent poem, without that line.

~~Tink
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385
Review of Who Am I  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Rox, I'm Tinker and I'm reviewing your "Who Am I". Use what you think helps and ignore the rest.

Your title is pretty common, how many of us have written one of these? Therefore, it probably won't draw many readers. Also it is not recommended by the poetry pundits, who ever they may be that we use the first line as a title. It is redundant. Yes, a classic example of using the first line as the title is Emily Dickinson's poems are all titled such. but she was dead before any of her poems were published. They were found all untitled so the publisher chose to use the first line to identify them rather than try to create a title that didn't come from her. You can also find them numbered, another way of identifying her work without title.

This Free Verse is a simple exploration in 17 lines.

I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow.

? Typo? L11 "Somebody wit:" makes no sense.

I felt there were a lot of abstracts in this poem and not enough concrete images. Concrete images help a poem come alive. This appears to be random thought.

I applaud all who explore and attempt to share themselves in words. This is one of those poems. Keep sharing.

~~Tink
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386
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Jatog, How your Sigmund the Cant Lover has never been review and rated before now is a mystery to me. The title alone should entice many to read and the teaser adds more mystery that need be explored. Well, I am here now, I am Tinker and I'm reviewing your poem.

Written in quatrains made up of rhymed couplets in anapestic tetrameter promises a lively text and you deliver. This was fun and heart warming. Biker's for Jesus, who knew.

I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow. I saw no such concerns.

I loved your poem. You take a simple encounter and share it with skilled writing.

~~Tink
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Review of Hauntings  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hi Joy, I'm reading your Hauntings that I found at Read and Review.

The Title is generic enough to not give away your content but vague enough to draw a reader in to find out more.

If your purpose in writing was to create the most creepy images anyone could imagine, you succeeded. I really never got the point of it. Maybe I'm just too tired to grasp this but honestly I'm going to bed in a minute and I don't want to reread those images. I should read the warning label before taking the pill... sorry.

If you purpose was to creep the reader out, you have succeeded.

~~Tink
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388
Review of Reflection  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Christina, I'm Tinker and I am reviewing your "Reflection" found at Read and Review.

Your title is a quiet hook, some will be curious, some will move on but the shortness of the poem might be a draw as an easy read.

I think this free verse poem may be cutting some of your lines too soon, the very short lines sound a little choppy. I guess I wanted a little insight as to what you really felt inside.

I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow. L10, I think you are missing "is" either before "this" or after "person".

I like the theme and concept of the poem. I guess I wanted you to explore this deeper.

This was a quick, easy read.

~~Tink
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Review of Know Thine Enemy  
for entry "Chapter 15" 
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Steph, I'm back at it, Know Thine Enemy, Chapter 15, I liked this chapter. I seemed to settle down, stake stock of what was going on, let me see further into some of the characters and take a breath... Then of course they are back in battle. But there was something sane about the way this chapter began, compassionate. With genuine emotion. I liked it a lot.

Then there was: I actually thought I was going to read this whole chapter without a typo jumping out at me. But. . .

Typo "Shay said" Paragraph 9 up from the bottom ""Two of ours got through." Shat said. "Stand by for report.""

And Oh no! The captain is down...

~~Tink
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Review of Know Thine Enemy  
for entry "Chapter 14" 
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Know Thine Enemy Chapter 14, This is a long chapter compared to the others. Hmm squishy deck and blacklight art... I know you describe it more technically but, just my interpretation. I want this ship towed in for further exam. Too interesting to leave behind.

I can't help feel sorry for the alien girl. I wish they found one alive...

Little things I tripped over..

On Board
Paragraph 3 typo- What stuck Captain Scott was the extreme similarity these aliens had to Earth science and culture. . . .

Paragraph 5 at the end. Thick, short orange fur covered the head darkening to red as it ran into the suite.

Stay or Leave

Paragraph 8 During out last encounter,

Paragraph 14 Scott noticed Commander Shay watching him for a decision, they others watching the two officers face off across the table.

Examination

Paragraph 3 What the McHenry had discovered and who they had on board was too important to leave to the small FTL drones. He had to get Matvei and her chip to Fleet.

And so we move on. . .
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Review of Know Thine Enemy  
for entry "Chapter 13" 
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Know Thine Enemy Chapter 13, You were right, the excitement is here. You set the stage now here the action happens. Derelict ship, a body, now some answers maybe.

Paragraph 10 "Understood, Captain. There is an area that we poked into that may fit the bill perfectly. There is an open hatch with the manual seal intact that we could close before gaining forcing entry into the ship." gaining / forcing ? need to make up your mind.
Salvage

Paragraph 13 typo Scoot knew she was right

I need to leave this book for a while, but I really don't want to stop here. I'll be back.

~~Tink
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Review of Know Thine Enemy  
for entry "Chapter 12" 
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Know Thine Enemy Chapter 12... Your novel is getting more and more exciting. The detail you use to describe the battle makes it sound real.

Oooh "Gravity fluctuated for a moment and settled to normal." This was good, I could visualize things starting to rise momentarily then drop back into place..

Paragraph 16, yes you still have stutter finger.

And on I go to Chapter 13.

~~Tink
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393
Review of Know Thine Enemy  
for entry "Chapter 11" 
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Chapter 11 Know Thine Enemy,

Paragraph 2 What I believe to be an awkward line. "Scott was showering away some muscle ache from such a workout when he jumped when his induction intercom activated." jumping when ?

Paragraph 17 "Commander Shay was still standing next to Scott and spoke quietly enough that with the background noise on the bridge, he was sure no one else could hear, "We could run sir, get around the ship and head to Earth." he is a she This one stopped me.

Para 7 from bottom before Response "There was no response for a few seconds and Pitcher said, This should not begin with parenthesis... no one speaking.

Response

Paragraph 2 "Shay quirked her mouth, but Lieutenant Wilkes said, This should not start with a parenthesis, no one is talking yet. Stutter finger? *Smile*

Paragraph 5 ends with a parenthesis that is unnecessary. I'm not looking for these, they just glare off the page and I reread to make sure I didn't misunderstand.. If I find more on this page, I will just assume you are looking for this stutter parenthesis thing through out this page.

Your story is starting to get exciting and I would read on just for pleasure if I didn't need the points.

~~Tink
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Review of Know Thine Enemy  
for entry "Chapter 10" 
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Know Thine Enemy Chapter 10, now the story really begins...

One more little nits to look at:

Paragraph 10
"We need to be able to take action, not be so far in system from out course that we catch them, and they could just run away." Huh? This doesn't make sense.

So it is now getting more interesting as new info is being added. I'm in.

~~Tink
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395
Review of Know Thine Enemy  
for entry "Chapter 9" 
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Here I am Chapter 8 Know Thine Enemy, I finished The Girl in the Spider Web last weekend and hadn't gotten around to starting a new book which I normally do right away. But I've been making a push to do a lot of reviews here at WDC so I can Upgrade. My friend asked me what I was reading yesterday, (because I'm always reading) we often exchange thoughts on a book one of is reading. I told her Know Thine Enemy, an as yet, unpublished novel. Haha, she was so surprised. Yes, this is what I'm reading until finished and I'm still interested.

This chapter went pretty smoothly.. A couple of minor typos that I noticed... But it is getting more interesting as I go.

Gathering Facts 6 paragraphs down
" "Of course, you are Captain. May we can dispense with the formality and use first names like we agreed, John?" She said, amusement evident in her eyes.' Maybe we ?

Paragraph 11 " "Ah, thank you, Cap... Veronika. This taste better than anything I have." He sat his glass on the table. tastes/b

So on to Chapter 9
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Review of Know Thine Enemy  
for entry "Chapter 8" 
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Finally, I'm back to your novel, "Know Thine Enemy" Chapter 8 So the dreaded dinner is over and it as well as could be expected. The banter is interesting even though nothing yet disclosed but I keep reading hoping for a new nugget.

Since, I am reading for my pleasure and reviewing for the points and you say this is an early draft, I thought I would share thoughts as they come up.

Paragraph 1 No error, but "conniving" ? Really? Maybe but isn't a little strong? So far no real evidence of that. Manipulative, overtly seductive, yes but conniving suggests deliberate malice. This is just my knee jerk reaction to this word.

I thought this sentence awkward and had to go back couple of times to understand.
Midway after "Face the Music" " "Captain Matvei, after our run in, and your ships, with the Aeon ship, we were wondering what you can tell us about them?" "

So, I will continue today when I find time.

~~Tink
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397
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Ha ha Ken, Great minds think alike. I'm reading your poem, They Wear the Title Preferred that you wrote for both the Daily Poem and Poet's Place Form of the Week. I did exaxcly the same thing then I used it for my entry at I Write, killing 3 birds with one stone.

I have to admit to not understanding what you were talking about until you referred to WDC and I remembered something about boxes that mean different things by colors. I've not paid attention to them so I'm sorry for my ignorance. Its an insider poem and I guess I'm still an outsider.

There are a couple of lines where the rhythm is off. But you stayed with the frame of the La Charta otherwise and you blended the prompt words perfectly.

Good luck in the contest. ~~ Tink.
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Review by Tinker
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Neva, I'm reading your beautiful tribute to "Asma Jahangir". I applaud you for bringing to your readers awareness of this courageous life. I loved the way you began your free verse poem, with questions. The imprint of a woman of this caliber is left not only on her children but the children of all whom she served and further.

There is nothing I can offer to improve this lovely piece.

~~Tink
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Review of Know Thine Enemy  
for entry "Chapter 7" 
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Steph, Know Thine Enemy Chapter 7. I have to say you make the technical language on this space ship sound logical and believable. I feel like I am aboard listening to real commands.

Here are some more little things I noticed along the way...


Invitation

Typo paragraph 3 a purely physical reaction to the woman in from of him,

paragraph 8 up from the bottom typo Knowing he had a little over an hour until the accelerated to transition. I think you mean "they"

Paragraph 4 up from the bottom "Engage the Alcubierre Drive, ?? Not sure, . parenthesis Captain talking or no parenthesis beginning next line.

I'm still curious, still want to keep going...

~~Tink
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Review of Know Thine Enemy  
for entry "Chapter 6" 
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Steph, Back at it, reading Chapter 6 Know Thine Enemy. My spell check keeps red lining "Thine", I think the correct word to use is thy. But it is your title.

Trying to earn my keep, a few more typos... But the story line is moving right along.

Courtesy

paragraph 10 ... "I think your XO would have let us know if anyone was seriously hurt, but you know him better than I. Should begin without parenthesis and should end in parenthesis.

paragraph 13 Careful. So far I've sounding almost competent. Better fix that.{/i> I'm ?

The L13 italics... is that Scott thinking or Matvei thinking.. ? It is almost as if you switched gears.

I'm still intrigued. ~~Tink
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