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Review of Why Are You God?  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Drifter, I'm reading your, Why Are You God?. A review is just another's person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Tulipr*First Impression: I was a little surprised at the title. now that is a question that never before crossed my mind. Of course I had to read on.

*Tulipy* Form:Written in quatrains with alternating rhyme. The first two lines of each stanza are the same biblical quote until the last stanza when the lines are separated.

I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation and syntax unless it disrupts the flow. The first 2 lines are actual quotes from the King James Bible, At the very least quotation marks should be used. And this holds true throughout the poem. Those lines are not yours and that needs to be addressed. Since you provide the book, chapter and verse with the first couplet you don't have to repeat it. If it were mine, I'd put a footnote King James Version. There may be readers out there that have no idea what those initials mean.

*Tulipp* This is what I liked: This poem is written like a responsorial.

*Tulipv*Finally:I liked this poem or more a prayer. Thank you for sharing.

~~Tink
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Review of Bare Hand  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Winnie, I'm reading your Bare Hand. A review is just another's person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Tulipr*First Impression: I was intrigued by your title and the photo. A must read.

*Tulipy* Form:Flash Fiction, a very short story.
I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation and syntax unless it disrupts the flow. Nothing jumped off the page.

*Tulipp* This is what I liked: I thought this fascinating. A simple encounter, a short exchange and it leaves the reader with so many questions.

*Tulipb*I wonder if: I wanted a bit more, did the hand look like the hand under the glove or was it disfigured? What occurred, to cause hands to be gloved? Of course questions are part of the skill of writing. I still wanted more.

*Tulipv*Finally:I was right the first time, this is a must read for pure entertainment.

~~Tink
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#1937709 by Dave



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Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Carly, I'm reading your, Golden Princess. A review is just another's person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Tulipr*First Impression: A Chinese Golden Princess brought forth beautiful exotic images in my head. Of course I would want to read.

*Tulipy* Form: Free Verse with required and restricted words in 20 lines meeting all requirements.

I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation and syntax unless it disrupts the flow. Nothing jumped off the page at me.

*Tulipp* This is what I liked: The poem didn't disappoint me. The imagery carried the mystery of the East. "Her elegance flows out of her in waves." "On tiny feet she moves with grace." I can see her in my mind.

*Tulipb*I wonder if: I have to admit, I wanted more. More gilded lanterns and bowing servants with pigtails.

*Tulipv*Finally: I enjoyed reading this piece which is not the first I've come across from this group. I have loved them all, such a good idea.

~~Tink
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Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Kenzie, I'm reading your Complaining - Nicely. A review is just another's person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Tulipr*First Impression: Normally I stick to poetry reviews but your title and then your comment compelled me to read piece.

*Tulipy* FormI'm not sure if this is a blog, and article or ? Prose categories sometimes confuse me, this is not where my experience lies.

I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation and syntax unless it disrupts the flow. Nothing jumped off the page.

*Tulipp* This is what I liked:What didn't I like? This piece contained crystal clear imagery, efficient background information, a delightful story, a moral lesson and a feel good end. Loved it, loved it, loved it.

*Tulipb*I wonder if: I had better stretch myself and read more prose entries here.

*Tulipv*Finally:Thank you so much for sharing this.

~~Tink
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Review of Through You  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Quantra, I'm reading your Through You. A review is just another's person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Tulipr*First Impression: I loved the comment "Another poem for my wife." Now that would capture any woman's heart.

*Tulipy* Form:Free verse with appropriate line breaks. It is really a letter to your love.

I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation and syntax unless it disrupts the flow. Nothing jumps out at me.

*Tulipp* This is what I liked: I found the repetition of "through you, through you" to be effective.

*Tulipb*I wonder if: It is hard to find something to improve in such a personal poem. You pour out your heart. For the public the poem could be condensed a bit. Some of the poem could be considered redundant and there is no surprise to keep a third party reader interested.

*Tulipv*Finally: Thank you for sharing this personal piece with the public.

~~Tink
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Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Neva, I'm reading your Contemplating the Germinating of the Seed. Reviewing your poems is a two edge sword. I love reading your work but finding something substantive to say about it other than being awestruck is really hard.

*Tulipr*First Impression: Now that title is a mouthful and fascinating. Anyone reading the title has to read your poem.

*Tulipy* Form: Free Verse with appropriate line breaks.

*Tulipp* This is what I liked: S1, now that's the way to get a Spring poem started without the usual pretty flowers in the meadow.. I loved the concept of this poem and the questions asked.

*Tulipb*I wonder if: You have anytime in your day to just chill... Writing, reviewing, blogging, reading where do you find the time to do all that you do? You go on the super woman list.

*Tulipv*Finally:Thanks for sharing another thought provoking, enjoyable poem.

~~Tink
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Review of "IN THE SILENCE"  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Netty, I'm reading your In the Silence. A review is just another's person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Tulipr*First Impression: I love the title, I love the sound of silence. Living in a rural setting, silence is never really silent, a cricket, a song bird, the hoot of an owl, the rustle of the wind, a sound is always present but these for me are the sounds of silence.

*Tulipy* Form: Free verse with sacred or archaic language. "thee" "thy" "thine" are archaic terms yet many use them as sacred speak. This piece may simply be a prayer, penned for you and your God. But shared with the public, I wonder if your connection with the reader would be stronger using today's language. Just a thought.

*Tulipp* This is what I liked:I love the beauty of prayer and this poem reminds me of that.

*Tulipv*Finally:I enjoyed reading your prayer. Thanks for sharing it with us.

~~Tink
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Review of God, Who Are You?  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Intuey, I'm readings your God, Who Are You. A review is just another's person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Tulipr*First Impression: This is a respectful poem.

*Tulipy* Form: Free verse with good use of line breaks.
I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation and syntax unless it disrupts the flow.

*Tulipp* This is what I liked: The respectful tone.

*Tulipb*I wonder if: This poem is very abstract. There are lofty concepts that seemingly have no connection to the reader. It would be more relatable if there was something concrete included. That is why the Father gave us Jesus. A real man we could touch and hear and see.

*Tulipv*Finally:I liked your poem

~~Tink
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Review of Burning Highway  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Blizzard, I'm reading your Burning Highway. A review is just another's person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Tulipr*First Impression: I was more intrigued by the experiment than the title. I kept thinking isn't this the name of a famous song?

*Tulipy* Form: Free Verse with end words exploring the long A sound. A 26 line poem without break.

*Tulipp* This is what I liked:The experiment was a success.

*Tulipb*I wonder if: The rhythm needs a little smoothing.

*Tulipv*Finally:I enjoyed reading your poem.

~~Tink
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335
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Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Lou, I'm reading your Fishing for Dreams. A review is just another's person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Tulipr*First Impression: Interesting title.

*Tulipy* Form: Free verse with appropriate line breaks.
I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation and syntax unless it disrupts the flow. Nothing jumped out at me.

*Tulipp* This is what I liked: The first stanza and its repetition at the end. I also liked the concrete images throughout.

*Tulipb*I wonder if: I didn't quite catch the connection between Mr Lance & Mr Gary and the me & you. I'm unsure how to do it but you feel it, you understand it, you just have to work a more at communicating it or just ignore this whole section of the review.

*Tulipv*Finally:I liked this poem. Keep writing

~~Tink
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Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Marie,I'm reading your Something Spooked Me.A review is just another's person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Tulipr* First Impression: The title being also the first line is redundant and weakens your first line. That is why it isn't recommended that modern poet's use the first line as a title.

*Tulipy* Form: I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation and syntax unless it disrupts the flow.

*Tulipp* What I liked:I liked the rhythm, the ease of reading, and the uniqueness of. The poem.

*Tulipb* Ideas: Other than changing the title I can see no place to offer improvement.

*Tulipv* Final thought:I enjoyed reading your poem. It was different and interstin. Keep writing.

~~Tink
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337
337
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Lou, I'm reading your "Bittersweet Rosebuds" A review is just another's person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Tulipr* First Impression: Interesting title, the poem is attractive on the page.

*Tulipy* Form: Free verse. Line breaks appear appropriate.

*Tulipp* What I liked: This seemed to be reversed angst. The accusation coming from the accused.

*Tulipb* Ideas: This becomes a little too telly or detailed in discussing what who felt. You show that just fine in concrete images, you don't have to then explain them.

*Tulipv* Final thought: The idea behind this poem is terrific. Condensing a bit in my opinion would give it more impact.

~~Tink
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Review of Early Summer  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Mouser, I'm reading your "Early Summer". A review is just another's person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Tulipr* First Impression: I'll read a haiku every time.

*Tulipy* Form: haiku, poem in the moment in 17 syllables or less.

*Tulipp* What I liked:I liked the idea of the sun pausing.

*Tulipb* Ideas: I wonder if the focus of the last line were more specific, "on small child at play. just an idea.

*Tulipv* Final thought: I enjoyed reading your summer haiku. Keep writing.

~~Tink
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339
339
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Tim, I'm reading your Her Kisses So Sweet. A review is just another's person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Tulipr* First Impression: The title is cliche. It probably won't draw many readers.

*Tulipy* Form:Free Verse with good use of line breaks for maximum effect.
I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation and syntax unless it disrupts the flow. L5 L6 is not a complete sentence. An easy fix, delete the word "As".

*Tulipp* What I liked: " for we share a love that shall constantly renew. " is a great line!

*Tulipb* Ideas: As lovely an experience as your words describe, it sounds cold and detached. Your poem is perfect words on a page but for me lacks lacks passion. You write in abstracts rather than give the reader a concrete image to connect to.

*Tulipv* Final thought: I'm sorry, you write beautifully but there was nothing to connect to. Keep writing,

~~Tink
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340
340
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi SS, I'm reading your The Heart of a soldier. A review is just another's person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Shamrock* First Impression:

*Shamrock* Form:Written in unrhymed couplets which makes this easy to read. I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation and syntax unless it disrupts the flow. Nothing jumped out at me. I do wonder about the necessity of the "a" in L4 before "troublesome"?

*Shamrock* What I liked:There was a sad nobility to this poem.

*Shamrock* Ideas:If it were mine, "Tell my brother ..... / The keys to my bike are his." using "forever" is overkill.

*Shamrock* The end:I thought this was a poignant read. Keep writing.

~~Tink
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Review of A Pianist, Myself  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi John, I'm reading your A Pianist, Myself. A review is just another's person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Shamrock* First Impression:The title and appearance of the poem on the page is attractive. Having placed the "piano" in my mind with the title, the appearance of the poem seems to emulate a keyboard. Nice

*Shamrock* Form:Rhymed couplets with random rhythm in very long lines. I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation and syntax unless it disrupts the flow. I think this poem has a little problem with "tense" you swing back and forth between present and past tense. "when the light no longer shines, I just sat/sit shines present tense/ sat past tense... This is one example.

*Shamrock* What I liked:I loved the concept and the message. There are some beautiful lines.

*Shamrock* Ideas:Yes there are beautiful lines that if it were my poem I would tweak just slightly for maximum effect. "As I explored and soared throughout the composition." Would be smoother with "soared through the". And "waiting to be awoken" awoken has a cluncky sound, "awaken" says exactly the same thing, has a clearer sound and provides assonance with waiting.

Rhythm, can I suggest you read your poem out loud and listen to the rhythm as if you were listing to music. I think the poem would be more effective if the rhythm was more fluid.

*Shamrock* The end:I enjoyed reading your poem. Thank you.


~~Tink
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342
342
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Neva, I'm reading your Writing Form Poetry. A review is just another's person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Shamrock* First Impression:I love tankas. Easy read.

*Shamrock* Form: Tanka, human condition small poem in 31 syllables or less. You have 32 syllables. I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation and syntax unless it disrupts the flow. L2 disciplinal / discipline gets rid of 8th or 32th syllable and is disciplinal really a word? I'm too lazy to look it up. *Smile*

*Shamrock* What I liked:I love "Helps get rid of writer's block."

*Shamrock* Ideas: The syllable mentioned above, easy fix.

*Shamrock* The end: This made me smile, I use haiku for as a block buster.


~~Tink
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Review of A ubroken soul  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hi gestorbene, I'm reading your "A Ubroken Heart". A review is just another's person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Shamrock* First Impression: Well the glaring misspell in the title will probably get this overlooked by most.

*Shamrock* Form: This is written like a blog entry or journal entry. I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation and syntax unless it disrupts the flow. Title: ubroken or "Unbroken" The misspells continue. 3 sentence: where going/were going; there forced/was forced grugges/grudges. Punctuation needs attention, you might try to read this out loud and check for natural pauses to help in that realm. Please break this up into a couple or three paragraphs, it would make it so much easier to read.

*Shamrock* What I liked:I liked the spirit of this composition.

*Shamrock* Ideas:I pretty much addressed this under "Form"

*Shamrock* The end:I would be interested in reading this after some care was taken with presentation. Keep writing.


~~Tink
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Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Jay, I'm reading your How to Become a Friend. A review is just another's person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Shamrock* First Impression: Of course, who wouldn't be interested in becoming a friend? Plus the added bonus of a poem by you.

*Shamrock* Form: Your comfort zone, Hymnal Measure, alternating rhymed, quatrains written with L1 & L3 iambic tetrameter and L2 & L4 iambic trimeter. The perfect rhythm for this content. I I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation and syntax unless it disrupts the flow. Nothing jumped out except Quatrain #6 L#4 "joke" shouldn't that be "jokes"?

*Shamrock* What I liked:I loved the 2nd stanza. "most won't make you whole"

*Shamrock* Ideas:S7 L2 "and stand in other's face" is awkward and at first I didn't get it. What about "and challenged face to face"?

*Shamrock* The end: I enjoyed reading this Jay. Thanks.


~~Tink
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Review of sound of heart  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hi Story, I'm reading your "sound of hear". Use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Shamrock* First Impression:I questioned whether or not your first language is English and if this is a hastily written first draft.

*Shamrock* Form: This is categorized as an article, it reads more like a blog to me. I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation and syntax unless it disrupts the flow. "It" definitely disrupts the flow. Misspelled words, lack of capitalization in appropriate places, lack of punctuation and words placed out of sync all make this a very difficult read.

*Shamrock* What I liked: "I did like the concept behind this statement, "so if we put our hand in the chest and listen to our hear beat in peaceful mind the we sure find some way to our future. some way to problem solution."

*Shamrock* Ideas: I believe your "article" would benefit by sitting with someone who can assist you to use the tools of English grammar.

*Shamrock* The end: I admire those who write their thoughts, especially when the language is a challenge. This has a long way to go but it has a great start.

~~Tink
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Review of Ode to Coupons  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Very Thankful, I'm reading your poem, Ode to Coupons found at read and review. A review is just one person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Shamrock* Firet Impession. A very big title for such a small poem, a little, tongue in cheek?

*Shamrock* Form. You used the haiku 5/7/5 frame "because it just seemed to flow". I thought the frame made the statements a little abrupt and disconnected. Of course the ode is a poem of lofty praise which fits with the line although it I very very short for an ode.

*Shamrock* What I Liked I thought it fun to find a poem about coupons.

*Shamrock* Suggestions I think this poem might be more effective if you abandoned the haiku frame and expanded your concert imagery.

*Shamrock* Final Thoughts: I liked the idea behind this little poem.

~~Tink
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Review of Illegal Alien  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Genipher, I'm reviewing your Illegal Alien for my I Write review.

*Shamrock* First Impression:Being a Californian (a sanctuary state) and a cop's mother, I read your title and thought uh Oh, is this going to make me mad or sad? Well, instead it made me glad.

*Shamrock* Form:I think this is considered Flash Fiction, you don't provide the # of lines and I didn't count. I like that it is all dialogue. It is easy to read.

*Shamrock* What I liked: The silliness, was such a relief. This was just fun to read.
*Shamrock* Ideas:I see nowhere that I could offer improvement.



*Shamrock* The end:Thank you for providing this quirky, creative piece.

~~Tink
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348
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Review by Tinker
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
HI Ken, I'm returning the favor and reviewing your Freedom Tableau, you are a poet after my own heart. Current events, social justice find a voice in your poems. I like that.

After reading this I felt pretty proud to be an American... which is not always the case lately. ( well almost not)

I see nothing I could improve on. Good luck at the Daily Poem.

~~Tink


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Review of Know Thine Enemy  
for entry "Chapter 18
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi (name), I'm reading your Chapter 18 Know Thine Enemy. Use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Shamrock* First Impression:The Chip ; Shadow ; Follow the Leader OK "Shadow" sounds ominous. Now I have to read this chapter...

*Shamrock* Form:Chapter 18. I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation and syntax unless it disrupts the flow. In the Shadow section some of your dialogue is in italics which you normally use only for thoughts.. A little confusing.

4 pargraphs up from the bottome of the page "I sure wish we what was on the Russian chip and what kind of people make a data chip that is suicide to unlock?" Should be : knew

*Shamrock* What I liked:Wednesday night I went to the movies and saw Red Sparrow. If you don't already know it is about a Russian women who trained in the art of seduction to be s spy. It is a very good movie though slow at first. Jennifer Lawrence plays the red sparrow and I so see your Russian captain in her, or visa versa. I loved this connection.

*Shamrock* The end:I have to take a break now but will be back tomorrow..


~~Tink
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#1937709 by Dave

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Review of Know Thine Enemy  
for entry "Chapter 17
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Steph, More reading your Know Thine Enemy. Use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Shamrock* First Impression:Discovery / Departing Audrina , Hmmmm Did I miss something? 66Ok My bad, I remember now. That's what I get for taking a break.

*Shamrock* Form: Chapter 17. I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation and syntax unless it disrupts the flow.The last sentence before the break to Departing Audrina... "Why should the change now?" Shouldn't it be that


*Shamrock* What I liked:"Are they mammals? I was totally surprised by this question. It opened me to a flight of fantasy.

*Shamrock* The end:On to Chapter 18... I'm getting into it again and your writing continues to be clean.


~~Tink
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