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Who am I, Where am I Going, and Where have I been? The story of my life!
Jan 11, 2007

Today, I start attempting to keep one of my goals this year. To write daily. A little about me. I'm a 35 year old mother of 2, married for almost 15 years. I live in urban Indiana and currently stay at home and am a full time student. What makes me different from anyone else? Not much. lol...I have a strange sense of humor. I love to read. I love to sing. I like to play online. I lost both of my parents 6 years ago. Each year things get easier, except in a way they also get harder. Only somone who has been there will have any clue what I mean.

Why am I here? I feel compelled to write. A few years ago my husband and I took a bible study course at church called Disciple 1. Awesome Awesome study. 34 weeks, 80% of the bible. At the begining we had to discuss why we were there...my pat answer was to learn more abou the bible. Funny thing was, in the end, I'd learned a whole lot more. I learned I could have a personal relationship with God. I learned alot of things. I learned about spiritual gifts....and in the end of that study, we had to get up and give a testimony about our time in disciple and what we had learned....my first entry will be that testimony I shared with our congregation that day...the only changes I've made are to remove names.

My plan for this journal/blog is to just talk about me, my daily life, my kids, and whatever God puts on my heart. Pray for me that I may be obedient in this.

Check out these links! Pleeeease :)

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I look forward to touching base with whomever stops in....

God's blessing on you

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August 23, 2007 at 8:56pm
August 23, 2007 at 8:56pm
August 23, 2007

Wow....between moving and trying to keep up with my classwork I am completely and utterly worn out.

2 of my classes are writing type classes-English and Communications( which is a speech class) My math class required an autobiography and my intro to college class (called IVY) also requires some writing. So as I work on stuff I'm placing it here "Invalid Item.

I'm doing this for 2 reasons...1 because I need to have a copy somewhere other than my computer...so if the computer dies etc I can access my work from somewhere else. And 2. because I can get y'all opinions and feedback. So far all that is there is a free writing piece that isn't turned in...and my math autobiography...but as time goes on there will be speeches and papers...

The adjustment to moving is going ok...well..Jamie and I are doing fairly well. Mike not so great...and Cassy waffles..sometimes she's ok and sometimes she's not....don't blame her..it's not an easy thing.

This evening I went to her parent orientation, met her teacher and learned how things will work...her teacher seems very nice and I feel very positive about the school year...I just wish Cassy made friends quicker....for her own sake...cause now she's missing the friends she left behind and feeling a little lonely. I reminded her it's only been a week..but it's still tough.

Well, not much else to say..both my beloved and I are taking classes...so if I don't show up for a bit...check the folder mentioned above..if there is something recent..I'm still alive just very busy...most of the teachers want between 9-15 hours of classwork a week...that puts me working almost 50 hours a week...lol...I could go back to work easier...lol

Oh well...it's an adjustment too

Hope ya'll are ok...missing ya lots and praying for you as well

August 20, 2007 at 7:50pm
August 20, 2007 at 7:50pm
August 20, 2007

Hi People! I am back online and moved into our new apartment. It's very nice, we are getting settled and my classes started today...yikes!

I will be here on and off but have much work to get done...say a prayer for me and I'll say one for you. Will try to stop by later and check in on y'all

August 17, 2007 at 6:00pm
August 17, 2007 at 6:00pm
August 17, 2007

I will be offline from this evening (roughly) through sometime on Monday (supposedly...lol) We are moving tomorrow and are scurrying to get things packed and loaded.

Things have been crazy...everyone is ok though...I'll check in as soon as I can

August 15, 2007 at 9:47am
August 15, 2007 at 9:47am
August 15, 2007

Stumbled across this passage by Joel Osteen -something I so needed to read..I've not read much by him but have read a bit here and there online.

He says "Trust God’s Timing: Human nature tends to want everything right now. When we pray for our dreams to come to pass, we want them to be fulfilled immediately. But we have to understand, God has an appointed time to answer our prayers and to bring our dreams to pass. And the truth is, no matter how badly we want it sooner, it’s not going to change His appointed time. When we misunderstand God’s timing, we live upset and frustrated, wondering when God is going to do something. But when you understand God‘s timing, you won’t live all stressed out. You can relax knowing that God is in control and at the “appointed time”, He is going to make it happen. It may be next week, next year, or ten years form now. But whenever it is, you can rest assured it will be in God’s timing.

God is not like an ATM machine, where you punch in the right codes and receive what you requested. Prayers are not always answered in 24 hours. No, we all have to wait and learn to trust God. The key is, are we going to wait with a good attitude and expectancy, knowing God is at work whether we can see anything happening or not? We need to know that behind the scenes, God is putting all the pieces together. And one day, at the appointed time, you will see the culmination of everything that God has been doing. God often works the most when we see it and feel it the least..."

WOW...so hard to hear, so hard to wait...so good to know....

I'm struggling with how everything is going to work out and when.....money right now is scary...the move and everything that goes with it-having enough help, a truck, to get done packing...and more...I'm overwhelmed and worrying..though a friend said to me that worrying means I don't think God can do it..I know he CAN...just worried He won't...though i know the path we are on He set us on...I struggle with my own worthiness and know I don't deserve anything He gives me in His goodness.

On another note...Cassy had a wonderful first day at school.

Very little packing got done..I'm having trouble occupying Jamie and packing...but my friend Robyn will be here tomorrow to help and we will get it done..I have faith in us.

Not sure how much I'll be online the next few days...but i'll try to check in Friday evening...if Mike hasn't taken the computer apart yet...lol

hugs and blessings
August 13, 2007 at 3:49pm
August 13, 2007 at 3:49pm
August 13, 2007

Cassy starts back to school tomorrow-new school...scary and exciting.

The move takes place in 6 days...I'm not done packing.

My nerves are shot, I'm excited and can't wait but wish it were over and done with and we could get settled in.

Had a whole thought process today about trying to put God in a box and expecting Him to answer my prayers in my time, my way and trying to force things to happen (my bad) and how letting go of it is rather powerful in and of itself but unfortunately I have to be out the door in 12 minutes and can't do it justice....guilty as charged is about all I can say...lol

Just wanted to let everyone know I'm alive and surviving and the kids are doing well.

hugs and blessings
August 10, 2007 at 5:14pm
August 10, 2007 at 5:14pm
August 10, 2007

Today has been a little crazy but doing ok around here.

Jamie was up at 8:30-the kids ate breakfast and watched a movie..mommy went back to bed to get some more sleep. Have been packing on and off since.

Right now I'm taking a break in between folding 4 loads of laundry and packing some more of Jamie's room....am trying to make Mike proud when he gets home..he's worked so hard and this weeks been so stressful...I just want to make him happy. Not enough done yet to make mee feel good but all I can do is the best I can do.

Thanks again to everyone who has stopped in and said prayers..things are kind of crazy and I haven't had a chance to get to my emails and respond. You are loved and appreciated

August 9, 2007 at 4:06pm
August 9, 2007 at 4:06pm
August 9, 2007

As the previous blog entry stated, Jamie was admitted by the pediatrician on Monday...a friend of mine made the entry for me...thanks Robyn *Smile*

I don't know where to even begin...I guess at the end..lol..he's fine, fever free and back to himself. Temp finally broke yesterday evening..he's been fever free ever since. They believe he had adeno virus (sp?) after consulting with infectious disease doctors at the children's hospital.

We battled temps up and down for 7 days. 4 at home (with a trip to the immediate care center and 2 Er's) and 3.5 at the hospital. When meds were in him and his temp was down (though never broken until last night) he was in a decent mood....mostly. Because he's 4 it's all very interesting and exciting...He was very brave when they put in the IV, didn't even cry. He got to ride on a cart (like the one daddy uses to fix the car) and slide into a donut machine (ct scan..lol) He learned how to take his own oxygen sat's...he took the nurses o2 sats and temps, he got to eat in his bed and he got to pee in a BIG CUP every time he went potty. He's glad the IV is out-was ready to be done with that Tuesday and was ready to come home..darn near broke my heart crying to come home as his temperature spiked on Tuesday.

While it was exciting for him I feel like I've been living in a flipping nightmare. Mind you, he was never in true danger..all of the preliminary bloodwork and tests were negative, white count fine, chest xray clear...etc...but that almost made it worse..just not even knowing what was going on in my baby's body. watching as his temp climbed and he went from being a very active and energetic little boy last week to by Monday being lethargic and cranky even when the temps were down. I've had very little sleep in all that time-Monday night probably being the worst...Mike and I both stayed in the hospital with him. He was seen in the ped's office with a temp of 104. On admission it was down to 102.7. They did the lab work and such before he finally got to eat about 5pm..but at this point none of us had had anything....once he ate and watched movies (ped's has dvd's/vcr's in the rooms and movies to pick from) then settled in to sleep. At 10:30 his temp started climbing and they gave him meds...but 1:30 it was down to like 101...by 2:30 it was back up to 103.6...meds didn't help and an hour later it was 104. After more meds it finally came back down to 101-. That was around 4am. He slept until 9:30 ish...ate breakfast, we went to the play room and walked around teh floor (with the IV pole) ...until about 12pm..when his temp climbed again..we spiked midday and again at around8pm....He is happy and healthy now thankfully....the dr talked abour releasing him yesterday..pending hte final test results..but then he spiked again yesterday afternoon (caught at 101.2) and brought down with meds...that was the last time he ran a temp. if he runs again in hte next few days that high we'll have to call them back...but they just couldn't find anything wrong..the assumption is viral.....his behavior being back to normal and the lack of temp support this.

We are supposed to move in 8 days..time and money are short and I'm an emotional wreck in all this. Not only did I fall apart and question whether we were going to make it on Monday but I feel very disconnected...from everyone. And I question,why all this, why now..... I know He's here, know He's with me and appreciate everyone's prayers...I just don't even know what to do anymore.

I've got to get off here and take care of things. Thanks for all the prayers, love, concern and emails...I'll try to get back to you in the next few days.

hugs and blessings
August 6, 2007 at 2:55pm
August 6, 2007 at 2:55pm
He has been admitted. Had a temp of 104 at the peds office this morning. It was down to 102.5 by the time he was admitted. They have run labs and we are waiting for answers. Will keep you posted.
August 6, 2007 at 12:59am
August 6, 2007 at 12:59am
August 6...I think

Oh...My....Lord. Help me....

we are fine...Jamie's temp is down...as a matter of fact by the time we drove to Riley (children's hospital in Indy-where our ped sent us) it was down to 101.8-about an hour away

Chest xray is clear, cbc is fine...basically..we know nothing except I Have a 4 year old child who has run very high fevers on and off for 4...going on 5 days. There are a couple of possibilities....

1. He has a virus that's just hitting him really hard.
2. the antibiotics he's been on may be causing the temp-am going to go research that
3....who the heck knows....

I'm thrilled that his temp is down, the chest xray is clear and that his blood work looks great...except that that still tells us nothing.

They do think we need to be seen in the immunology clinic-outpatient and we need to be seen by the ped tomorrow....and will have to be referred by the ped. His temp is still down....I'm exhausted....going to research and go to bed...I'll update tomorrow when I get back
hugs...thanks for the prayers.

August 5, 2007 at 6:49pm
August 5, 2007 at 6:49pm
Jamie's Temp is almost 105-hasn't gone under 103 in 5 hours...even with tyelnol and ibuprofen rotating....

Please pray
August 5, 2007 at 1:40am
August 5, 2007 at 1:40am
Aug 5, 2007

Immediate care was no help. Mike got back and GGGGGRRRRR..they didn't do a darn thing for him! They just blew him off...said a fever isn't really a problem ....it was normal when they were in there....it's gone up to 103 twice since he brought him home. ....it was 103 at 3pm...I gave him ibuprofen...2 hours later it was 102.8...and I gave him tylenol..it wasn't even quite time with me rotating it...

I have to have authorization to take him to the ER...I did have authorization to take him to the immediate care ...and if I have to I'll call the dr back....he gets up and plays when his temp is down...by the time the ped is back in her office...it will have been 5 days running temps that high and rotating meds just to keep him comfortable...I'm so unhappy! I'm worried and he's so sick. Mike's in laying down iwth him now since the temp is back up. It'll go down..and it'll be ok for a while and hten we'll do this all again...pray I can keep it down.

Well...that was my start to an update...then the following happened....we ended up in the ER

What started the trip was a temp of 103.3 after having taken ibuprofen 3 hours before...a dose of tylenol hadn't brought it down and in fact it went up to 104.3 within about 30 min...called the dr and we had a rather long discussion and we decided to go to the ER...almost an hour away. She was thinking possibly pneumonia..but we also talked about all the antibiotics etc and I think I've finally found someone to listen and try to help...

The ER doc took one look at Jamie's throat (keeping in mind he's seen 2 other dr's in 3 days) and said he's got a raging case of strep...but he's on a strong antibiotic that should be taking care of it (for his sinus infection) and he's been on it 15 days..he wasn't sure what to do..so he contacted the ped...the long and short of it is, they ordered some lab work...and sent us home ...again trying to keep the temp down...they are checking for several different things....one of them being mono....we can only sit and wait (unless he gets worse and then back we go)

He was fine while we were there..temp was about 100....of course by the time we left and got half an hour away up it went....ibuprofen brought it down and basically it's just a waiting game until they get lab results...we will probably end up with a referral to Riley (children's hospital) trying to get answers..but at least I've got someone trying to get some answers and directing me somewhere....I'm scared, worried, fried, and very very tired. We will be heading to bed shortly....

I have a friend here helping me..and we got a decent amount of packing done...even with Jamie's being sick...She's been an awesome help and the kids have too. I owe ya one Robyn

I'll try to update tomorrow......if I can focus.

Thanks to everyone praying and adding him to prayer chains and all that I really appreciate it!!

hugs and blessings
August 4, 2007 at 6:11pm
August 4, 2007 at 6:11pm
Aug 4, 2007

We've gotten a decent amount done today...My beloved took Jamie to the immediate care center...per the ped since I couldn't get him in time wise to them....they blew us off...he's hit 103 and just above 3 times today...despite the fact that we are rotating tylenol and ibuprofen. I've not slept well in 2 nights and am about frazzled...and very worried.

Say some prayers please..I know it will pass...but I'm tired of no one listening...3 days now of high temps even with meds....he plays in between so he's ok...but he's so pathetic when he's not..and he wears himself out in those times he isn't running high.

Talk to you later
August 3, 2007 at 11:26pm
August 3, 2007 at 11:26pm
Aug 3, 2007-again..lol

Sweet baby girl is home! Sweet baby boy is tucked into bed and medicated (baby girl is in bed too-though she's wound and not asleep yet..lol)

She had a blast at camp-tried lots of new things, made new friends and is VERY glad to be home.

Jamie's temp was like 99.5 when he went to bed...hopefully we all get to sleep through the night.

Tomorrow is busy packing..we move in 2 weeks. If I'm somewhat MIA know that you are in my thoughts adn I'll be in as I can

blessings and hugs
August 3, 2007 at 3:19pm
August 3, 2007 at 3:19pm
Aug 3, 2007

Jamie is 4 years old..he'll be 5 in December. Jamie is a VERY VERY active little guy...running, jumping, climbing, hanging, swinging and playing all taking place hourly (if not much more frequently). Even when he watches tv he's playing and moving. Somewhat typical of a 4 year old boy..though I've had people make comments about how "busy" he is...there little way of letting me know they think there might be hyperactivity issues..and I have those days I wonder myself...though mostly I've just decided it's who he is...and even though he's busy and moving-he learns, loves, laughs, and has fun...I have trouble keeping up..but that's my issue not his.

Jamie had a bad night...after yesterday's temp of 103.1 in the dr's office..it was down to 100.5 in the evening...at 1:30 am he had an accident....and we had to change clothes..though not the bed thankfully. At 4 he needed a drink-temp was normal. at 6 am his temp was back up to 103. I gave him ibuprofen, at 6:30 it was still up but by 7 it was down and he was back to sleep. He woke up running a temp of about 100....He ate some grapes and a banana and watched a movie..then wanted a bath. After his bath his temp was 99.5-he sat on the floor to watch Over the Hedge-and proceeded to get cold and need to lay down...temp went back up to 103....gave him ibuprofen...30 min later it had climbed 2 tenths of a degree so I gave him a popcicle and some tylenol my kids tend to puke with a temp over 103.5....if I don't get it under control before that point I have trouble getting it under control because I can't keep anything in them. Anyway....he's been on the couch,laying with a cool cloth on his head...watching movies....I feel so bad for him and wish I could do more.

His temp is down some...not because I've checked it..but because he's back in a sitting position and has lost the cloth. We will continue to do this battle until the virus leaves his system...or until the dr decides it is in fact the sinus infection he was diagnosed with 2 weeks ago-and the antibiotic needs to be changed. It could be either...though I personally believe that htey could have changed the antitiotic...and we would have been in no different position than we are now in waiting..except that if it IS that the antibiotic needs to be changed then we wont' have waited a week to figure it out...it's not like he's not on an antibiotic already...I get that an antibiotic doesn't work on viruses..but I'm not sure it's working on the sinus infection either.

Part of my frustration with his allergist is his attitude. IN the begining he was very proactive and wanted to get it all taken care of..now that Jamie's shown to be a challenge and we can't really find what's wrong and why..he's taken this attitude that we just need to wait it all out..and yesterday...treated me as if I was this unintelligent being...that's not dealt with fevers and illness and needed to be patiently guided through the fact that for a virus I need to treat the fever and push lots of fluids..NO SHIT SHERLOCK!

I'm done with him...I'd been done but was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt...he's a good dr. in general...but he doesn't listen..he's not willing to try to figure out what's going on..he blows off my concerns...and treats me like I"m overreacting. Like I want antitibiotics for everything-when he's the one that told me to call at the first sign of sinus crud so we could get him started on an antibiotic and kick it before it got bad!

I need a dr who will listen..help me figure out what's going on and why.....no I don't want one who prescribes antibiotics at every turn...because my goal in getting him over this crap is to get him OFF the antibiotics...

I'm also most likely done with the ped. I'm not impressed..she's not helping much either..the few times i've tried to talk to her about trying to figure out WHY he keeps getting sick she acted like I was cruel to want to put him through culturing the sinus crud...and rolled her eyes at the fact that I'd done some research online about recurrent sinus infections...

Yes, I chose her..but only because medicaid removed us from our previous ped and I coudln't get back in....the dr I went to last week is a family dr...and he listened...we talked about my weight and my blood pressure...what I wanted and how best to get it done...and we talked about my allergy/sinus issue and decided against an antitibotic at this time....and I think that's where I'm going..and then if he thinks we need a specialist we can head that way..but I don't have the energy to keep fighting this BS without a partner of some kind in the medical field......

Jamie's temp is down to about 100 again...he's still on the couch though..watchign Over the Hedge again..we've also watched the Wiggles. He's had some tea...but he's cranky and uncomfortable. ...and once again I feel helpless...and it sucks. I also can't get anything done becasue he wants me close and if I leave the room he comes looking for me. Better than when his temps up at 103 though..then I have trouble getting off the couch without him fussing...now at least he lets me move to the computer....lol

thanks for listening. I'm begining to think there aren't any answers....I'm really hoping this move makes a big difference for Jamei especially.

Cassy comes home this evening...Mike will be leaving work shortly to pick her up....I've missed her alot.

I'll check in later and let ya know how Jamie's doing.

blessings and hugs
August 2, 2007 at 9:42pm
August 2, 2007 at 9:42pm
Aug 2, 2007

I'm not going to drudge you all through it...good things happened...we have final approval on the apartment..we move in Aug 20. I got Cassy enrolled for school....Jamie's preschool stuff started. I took Jamie to the park.

He's sick again...I didn't know this until later...when he spiked a temp...at the dr's office it was 103.1-I'm told it's a virus...another day when I'm not so wiped out I'll go into why I'm po'ed at the dr...it's not that I disagree (considering he threw up in Walmart where I was buying more tylnol...got daddy too....

My brakes are shot...again a very long story..it might be the brakes..might be something else...we've been having issues...but now it's going all the way to the floor and I have to figure out how we are going to get Cassy tomorrow.

My baby comes back from camp #2 tomorrow...we have lots of packing to get done and a yard sale to get ready for...a friend is coming to help this weekend...

I have a BAD BAD attitude right now...part of me feels like..can I just get a frickin break...and part of me knows that I have...I don't wallow well...so I'm trying to refocus.....I'm cranky...I want what I want and I want it now....lol

I'm out of here....I'll be on tomorrow...God willing.... and trying to get to your blogs...you are in my prayers
August 1, 2007 at 5:09pm
August 1, 2007 at 5:09pm
Aug 1, 2007

Not that it's info you are looking for...lol...but the schools opened today for new students and I was able to call and get info. I've been on the phone alot actually. I've also done some packing...I need to get my butt in gear and get some major work done becasue we are having a yard sale next weekend.

Last week I wrote a poem....one that was given to me...one that I wasn't overly comfortable writing..but one that those of you who read it really seemed to like it. It can be found "Invalid Item here.

I received an email earlier this week from an online friend who is currently fighting a very rare and aggressive form of breast cancer called Pagets Disease-http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/library/DS/00771.html. There is also another Paget's Disease...that has to do with the bones I believe...and they are 2 different things.

Anyway...I've known this "frend" for about 5 years...a little more...we met in an online chat room-that later ended up as an msn group....many are gone from there but it still remains with it's boards available to it's members to update each other...that's how I found out about Bear's cancer.....Bear was a big source of comfort and encouragement after I lost my parents...things had happened in our lives that we'd not been in touch much..but when I heard of her battle..we got back in touch...I've been praying for her daily. The other day I received an email update and in reading it, realized that that poem I wrote..the poem I struggled with writing was in fact for her. I've changed it...just a bit...and I've dedicated it to her. She has always called me Momma-because of my screenname...hoosiermomma2...was the same on msn....she has a way of typing my name...that it seems like I can actually hear her calling across the room...and see her running towards me arms wide open. It's not a typical relationshipt....but it's one of those relationships that if I had never had it...or didn't have it...I wouldn't be the same person...and it's one of those that makes me know that online friendships CAN work.

In true bear fashion...I was sent Bear sized hugs over the internet wires....those same hugs that comforted me when I felt so alone. I almost cried from her email...my little poem....truly touched her heart. She said, when I was on IM with her today that it was like I was with her in the waiting room that first day.....that gave us both goosebumps...good ones.

I write because I believe I've been given a gift...I write because I have to. I write because, at times, I"m directed by God to. The other day almost didn't...because of my own comfort level..had I balked and not written it...Bear wouldn't have her poem...she wouldn't have felt the same connection and known she wasn't alone...and I would have not had my confirmation that I'd been searching for that I AM supposed to write. I've struggled with that..since signing up for school...worried about the time and energy and money it will take...not sure if I'd jumped the gun with what I thought God wanted me to do. I also would've lost the chance to share my love, God's love, encourage and support a friend who's been there for me in my bad times.

I'm honored to have been given the task of writing for another...I feel so second rate and mediocre when I read what others have written...or when I struggle with trying to make my characters behave....And then there are the time when I write "Invalid Item or "Encounters with Christ and KNOW they are directed by God...when those times it doesnt' matter what anyone else thinks...as long as I do as I'm supposed to do...I'm glad I chose to listen to that prompting.

I know not everyone who stops by is a Christian...I know not everyone who reads what I write appreciates that element in my writing. I feel sorry for those who don't know Christ as I do...and I hope someday you will....the power and energy I feel when I write for Christ is something I can't begin to explain. Bear asked me earlier if it was eerie...and it was, in a way..because I've not written something spiritually connected before that wasn't emotionally connected to me......but it was very heartening, for encouraging...and a bit scary to know those were the feelings SHE was feeling when she went through that first vist. I don't know why God chose me....but I'm overwhelmed with emotion that He did.

Not my usual entry......

Back to packing...

blessings and peace to you all

July 31, 2007 at 6:45pm
July 31, 2007 at 6:45pm
July 31, 2007

Hi! Howdy! Hello! Are ya glad to be here?


14 years ago today I married my beloved. I was 20, He was 23. I'm not sure either one of our parents thought it would last..but they both supported our marriage...and though my parents passed away 5 years ago-they loved my beloved as a son..and his parents still treat me as a daughter.

We've been through alot in those 14 years....matured alot, added some kids, some weight, some worry lines..and some laugh lines. While there have times I've questioned if we would make it...never have I doubted that we belong together.

My beloved has been my best friend, my cheer leader, and my sounding board. He has been there as my rock and my shield...and he's chewed me out a few times when I needed it...especially when I'm down on myself.

14 years-it seems like yesterday..it seems like an eternity...He is my heart and soul...he is my world. No one knows me as well as he does...No one else has walked the path we've walked...at the depth we've walked..and while I know there will be more trials, more changes and more fun...I have no doubt that I want the rest of my life on earth...and into eternity to be with him.

Thank you my love...for who you were then..and for who you've become ..and for loving me despite my faults and foibles. Thank you for encouraging me to write.....for listening even when you don't get it...and for sharing the computer-especially when that urge hits and I NEED to write. I love you. I love you. I love you. And I thank God for you every day.....even when you hog the bed :)

As for the rest of you in Blogville-I pray that if you haven't found that special person you are meant to be with-I pray you find them.

I'm off for the rest of the evening probably...going to spend it with my 2 men...until the little one goes to bed....lol

blessings and peace
July 30, 2007 at 1:22pm
July 30, 2007 at 1:22pm
July 30, 2007

I am done babysitting.

I'm glad because I have alot to get done before we move.

I'm upset because I was accused of treating the kids badly..I was not allowed to explain the situation from my view point...and was threatened by the father to stay away from the kids...it bothers me because even though I KNOW what the situation was and that I did not treat either child badly...I was not allowed to explain or try to fix the situation. I have a clause within my paperwork the parent receives that says "
If there is a problem, please come to me, I’m open and willing to work things out as long as the lines of communication are kept open" I also request 2 weeks notice before they leave..I have it in their because I mean it...if a parent has an issue with me or the way I've handled a situation, I want to know it. I'm willing to work with things, apologize if I've done something wrong...communication is key.

.because these parents had already been given notice since we are moving and knew they wouldn't be using me again after the fact I think they were trying to avoid having to pay me for 2 weeks they woudln't be using me...their oldest child is home from her dad's this weekend ..and mom mentioned last week about talking to dad about her babysitting...I'm sure that's a portion of it. But you know..I woudln't have been able to do anything to them -it's not a signed paper..it's just a statement of my expectations......it's not legally binding..

But it upset me majorly..because he was mean and nasty to me..and I felt I didn't do anything wrong..yes I will admit to yelling at the kid..sorry..I have a huge problem with a 7 year old throwing temper tantrum over not getting his way. He was acting like a whiny brat..and had a tendency to do so..I'm glad to be done...but when I tried to apologize for any misunderstanding and explain from my perspective what happened, he cut me off and was hateful to me...only believing his child.now mind you..a good thing to believe your child..execept when you are blind to the fact that your child is VERY GOOD LIAR. The least he could have done was listen to what I had to say......and that's what bothers me..that's that fault I mentioned above..even though I know I wasn't in the wrong...even though I believe I am a good babysitter...even if I lose my temper and yell sometimes...I'm still a good sitter.....and I hate that he thinks badly of me.....even though in the scheme of things it doesn't matter.

Well, I'm going to go eat...I haven't eaten today yet...my iced tea is done brewing and my lunch is almost done cooking...Jamie has been fed..and is playing with Playdoh. Send me hugs...lots of them..cause I"ve become totally unhugged....*Cry* *Confused* *Worry*

a very upset

July 29, 2007 at 9:43pm
July 29, 2007 at 9:43pm
July 29, 2007

What a Day! I'm wiped out. This morning started out normal enough for a Sunday morning. Right up until we walked out the door. lol

Mike was putting gas in the tank out of the gas can...when he finished, he went to put a tool back in his box in the trunk and was hurrying because we were running behind...my fault, power went out yesterday morning and I forgot to reset the kitchen clock.....it was running about 10 minutes behind...oops...

Anyway, when he came up from being bent over...he cracked his head on the corner of the trunk...blood! Not deep enough for stitches but a good 2-3 inch long gash..surface only...has a good lump too...he went to church with an ice pack on his head and sat in the back hoping no one would notice much...lol..yeah right....

Then after church, we went to lunch and then headed out to take Cassy to camp. I feel much more positive and at ease...they were so friendly, we got a parent tour, we ordered a dvd to pick up when camp is over....She was a bit clingy..but not crying..just didn't want to let go...i think it would have been ok if it hadn't been such a big group around us..if it had been just in the cabin or something it would have been easier...she did go settle in with her group in the gym area before we left.

I'm hoping that this evening goes well....lol...considering it will be rather a shock to her that the bathrooms are not in her cabin and teh cabin is not airconditioned....at the 2 other camps she's done that's the way it's been...and considering that she's heard mommy talk about the fact that mommy doesn't camp...lol...well I know that she will have fun and it won't matter..but I'd kind of like to be a fly on the wall when she found out...lol..I KNOW>>probably better that I wasn't.

AFter we dropped Cassy off, we took Jamie to a park not far from the camp..maybe 20 minutes. It was small but we played for about an hour...when you still a VERY active 4 year old in the car for 2 hours one way...it's nice if you let them run off a little energy before you drive 2 hours back...lol

Aftewards we stopped at a drugstore, got a snack and drinks-he was quite insistent he wanted a BIG bottle of water...lol. I have to say I was hoping that after an hour at the park, a drink and a snack he'd fall asleep for most of the trip home...lol.....

We drove back the two hours...Jamie fell asleep about 20 minutes from home..figures doesn't it? Mike's been doing some packing and I've been emailing Cassy and cleaning up the kitchen and such. Jamie'e eating some cereal (cray day and we are just eating dinner..trying to get him into bed.

Tomorrow I need to do some more packing and cleaning around the kids. LOL...Friday night I go pick Cassy up...see her program and then buddy I'd hate to be her...Daddy has been into her room, found a mess and stuff shoved, found some dvd's not in cases and scratched up and she'd just better be glad she wasn't here tonight. LOL....he was HONKED...and I don't blame him. There are going to be some new rules around here.

Well...I need to get going...have to put short stuff to bed. I'll try to get around to everyone's blog either this evening or in the morning.

well, maybe not everyone's..but you know what I mean...lol

hugs and blessings
July 27, 2007 at 10:10pm
July 27, 2007 at 10:10pm
July 27, 2007

Hello everyone!

2 prayer requests...one for a friend, one for Cassy.

My beloved's best friend's mom had a stroke a few days ago....he lives in Indiana..she lives in Florida...and he's quite worried..she's not being very forthecoming.

Prayer request #2....Cassy came home from bible day camp not feeling well and running a temp...we go to the dr in the morning and I suspect that she's got a sinus infection from being off her meds for the allergy testing. She's back on them but I don't think she's under control...under normal circumstances this would be a pain but not great big deal..unfortunately she's supposed to go to church camp on Sunday...and I've got to get her fever free before we go or she can't...this has all been paid by scholarship and our church...and it will break her heart to not get to go..and this is the LAST session of the season...so no switching...so if today's fever could be it and we can get her on meds in the morning and out to camp Sunday afternoon that would be a huge blessing...thanks in advance.

Today has not been so great..but most of it's my attitude...it sucks. Wish I could say differently but it's a fact. I went to the dr this morning..new dr but it went well. I like him alot and he started me on a blood pressure med and we talked about diet and exercise. He also started me on a decongestant that won't aggrivate my blood pressure and a nasal spray for my allergies. I feel rather positive.

Went to the drugstore..which is my source of frustration...not the drugstore itself but medicaid's refusal on certain meds...today they didn't have the decongestant I was prescribed...and I sat and wait as they tried to figure out what to do.

Came home and took a nap...for about 2.5 hours..then got up, went to pick up the kids and it just kind of all fell apart...kids fighting, hollering, yelling at each other...by the time I got home I was ready to beat someone...though to my credit I did not. That's when I discovered Cassy was running a temp...in trying to get her taken care of I was going to take her to an urgent care...I discovered I had to to have authorization from the dr's office...by the time they called me back (cause they were closed...of course) it was also too late to head to prompt care. She will luckily be seen in the dr's office tomorrow morning..unfortunately that means I miss my prayer group.

THere's other just stuff bugging me...though I've settled down some...Mike and I have talked, joked, and eaten dinner with the family. His best friend is here and we are going to play some cards or something.

Hope you have a great weekend.

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