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Rated: 18+ · Book · Family · #1201314
Who am I, Where am I Going, and Where have I been? The story of my life!
Jan 11, 2007

Today, I start attempting to keep one of my goals this year. To write daily. A little about me. I'm a 35 year old mother of 2, married for almost 15 years. I live in urban Indiana and currently stay at home and am a full time student. What makes me different from anyone else? Not much. lol...I have a strange sense of humor. I love to read. I love to sing. I like to play online. I lost both of my parents 6 years ago. Each year things get easier, except in a way they also get harder. Only somone who has been there will have any clue what I mean.

Why am I here? I feel compelled to write. A few years ago my husband and I took a bible study course at church called Disciple 1. Awesome Awesome study. 34 weeks, 80% of the bible. At the begining we had to discuss why we were there...my pat answer was to learn more abou the bible. Funny thing was, in the end, I'd learned a whole lot more. I learned I could have a personal relationship with God. I learned alot of things. I learned about spiritual gifts....and in the end of that study, we had to get up and give a testimony about our time in disciple and what we had learned....my first entry will be that testimony I shared with our congregation that day...the only changes I've made are to remove names.


My plan for this journal/blog is to just talk about me, my daily life, my kids, and whatever God puts on my heart. Pray for me that I may be obedient in this.


Check out these links! Pleeeease :)

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#1054725 by Not Available.
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I look forward to touching base with whomever stops in....

God's blessing on you

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December 14, 2007 at 7:53pm
December 14, 2007 at 7:53pm
#555237
Dec 14, 2007

Sorry I haven't been back around. Jamie's bday was nice and he was tickled so many people said Happy Birthday..he doesn't recognize most words but he definitely recognizes his own name!!

My algebra final went ok..I know I passed...it's an online automatically graded test that I had to go into the proctoring site to take...I know at a minimum I got an 84.4...but the prof will also look at all of the work and will, in general give partial credit where the computer does not. I'm hoping for more than an 84%....it's a B on their scale...but I'm striving to keep my A....I'll know next week.

My final English paper is just about done..I'm putting the finishing touches on it now (well I have 2 people looking at it for me right now or I woudln't be talking to y'all...lol) I've uploaded it to my port and it can be found "Invalid Item

To those who read my Evaluation paper on Head Start and gave feedback-I got a 98% on it...which makes me very happy and I thank you much!!!

I should have my grades in the next couple of weeks...I'm hoping to make the deans list. Mike graduates tomorrow afternoon....he takes his final test tonight...and then we are both done-well I'm only done until Jan 14th...my apartment and the family will be greatful!

Well, I'm off..have to upload my paper to my Prof...and help Mike with his test.

Sending hugs, I'll be around to play next week for sure

hugs and blessings
Vicky

December 13, 2007 at 1:53pm
December 13, 2007 at 1:53pm
#554966
Dec 13, 2007

Today Jamie turns five. To him it's a magical number...though I'm not sure why...I guess because it marks the march away from being a "little kid" and enters the relm of being a "big kid" of course that truly depends on who you talk to.

According to him, the best thing, so far about being 5, is he now gets to write on the chalk board. Let me explain. I have a small chalkboard that hangs on the wall in the kitchen...a little chalkboard that I bought from a friend who sells At Home America products. A chalkboard that cost a small fortune-at least when you have no money...:)

Anyway...about six weeks ago I finally got it hung up in the kitchen of the apartment and wrote a message on it..."God loves you and so do I" Jamie has hounded me since the day I wrote on it to be allowed to write on it too. I have since told him no, that I would let him write on it on his birthday-I wanted it to be something special because he's not exactly real gentle and it's not something that can happen every dya. Well, when he got home today I asked him if he remembered what I said he could do on his birthday..and he remembered-so he's been sitting at the table drawing on the chalkboard since. He's now finished, drawn a face with marker on his balloon -given to him at church last night-and is goinog to watch tv...if he doesn't knock the tree over trying to bat the balloon around...lol

While he was at school I wrapped his presents (thanks to the sweet angel who aided in the gifting of presents-you know who you are and know that we appreciate it more than you know. He was sent a hot wheels racing track-2 tracks, 8 cars-and then we got him a hotwheels suitcase -the kind for his cars-at Goodwill but still in perfect shape-instead of $20 I spent $3. I also made his cake-Mike will decorate it when he gets home...A white cake with chocolate icing...mike will be making a race track out of white icing and placing some more hotwheels-old ones of Mikes that have been cleaned and sanitized-on Jamie's cake (5 of them). We have Jamie's favorite ice cream-vanilla-to go with it. We will do all this-AFTER Cassy's final season basketball game at 6:15-we have tournament next week but then we are done for a bit.

Jamie was born in 2002-at about 3:45 am...on Friday the 13th no less. 2002 was a rough year for me-I lost both of my parents and I have a friend who after I got pregant with Jamie, said that Mom got to heaven and started asking God why I hadn't had another baby yet and wasn't it time (there is 6.5 years between my kids) My pregnancy was ok, but I struggled with grief, depression, and fear of losing my baby-not because I'd ever had a miscarriage or was having issues but because I just was scared I wouldn't survive losing someone else and was afraid to hope all would be well. Jamie gave the OB a run for his money-by 28 weeks they were monitering my blood pressure-which kept going up-very closely and started watching Jamie very closely...so I ended up in the OB's office 2-3 times a week to be placed on a moniter-even back then he didn't hold still and 9 times out of ten they couldn't get a good read on the moniter and would do an ultrasound....lol..everything would be fine and we'd do it again in a few days.

Both of my kids have been my saving grace in losing both my parents so closely together...but there is something to say for having such a little one to hold onto and have no choice but to get out of bed for. That first year, I'm not sure I would have iif it weren't for him. Jamie could..and still can, bring a smile to my heart when nothing else can...he can also break my eardrums faster than one could imagine...lol

Anyway, ornery as he is, as much medical crap as we've battled, and as many times a day I could beat him with wet noodles-he's a bright kid, with a brighter smile.

Happy Birthday Buddy...and thanks God for the gift you gave me 5 years ago.

hugs....thanks for listening.
Vicky

December 11, 2007 at 3:48pm
December 11, 2007 at 3:48pm
#554659
Dec 11, 2007

But I need to release some frustration and I know y'all will just let me.

Jamie's getting sick again. It's not major-but it's been going on and off for about a month. He woke up again this morning complaining of his legs hurting, coughing, stuffy, eye running...nothing new...as I said he's done this on and off for the last month. But when he came home from school he looked a bit pale and under his eyes was a bit puffy...so I called the dr's office. The nurse tried to convince me to not bring him in...while letting me know they'd be happy to see him. I knew going in they were going to probably say it was viral, and therefor a waste of my time even going. But because it's been going on and off for so long I decided I should grab the bulls by the horn...after all...this is how it all starts..we have viral crap, he ends up with a sinus infection and we fight to get rid of it all winter long. Every year they blow me off, until he ends up with a sinus infection-though honestly I do realize there is nothing they can do...its' in the attitude I get from them. I could have taken him to the allergist...who might have been a bit more proactive.....but it's further and I'm less happy with him at the moment over the way things have been handled (or not handled) with Cassy's allergies. I'm ready to chuck both dr's and start over-especially since Riley's testing (children's hospital)shows nothing...so if he's not immunodeficient and he's not got any allergies then why in the heck is he sick all the time?

I'm tired and frustrated and I can see it coming but can do nothing to stop it...I just hope it holds off long enough to get me through finals and his birthday and that either he waits to really get sick until after Christmas or does it next week so it's over before Christmas...I know that's not a good attitude..but it's where I am right now. To me, it's inevitable that what has happened in the previous three years will continue on.

On another note, Jamie is also being monitered, tested, observed..whatever you want to call it...for ADHD etc...his last parent teacher conference was not so good. He's impulsive, overly emotional and not gaining much ground academically-keeping in mind he is in preschool but kindergarten bound. He doesn't socialize well-though he has a wonderful imagination-he just either expects everyone to play with him in his rules or plays on his own. His energy level-which we handle pretty much at home and to me is a little boy with lots of energy-he is after all, only 4. But he's immature and has some issues. I'm not convinced that he has ADHD or any other alphabetical issues but I'm willing to listen-He will not be medicated-regardless of whether they believe he has ADHD or not-not at this point-if, he has ADHD we will consider the necessity in the future-but I don't believe that meds like ritalin should be the first line of defense and they don't solve the problem. Educate me, help me put into place behavior modification and rewards and then if his attention span and energy level are getting in the way of his learning-then we'll talk. I'm not convinced and felt a bit like yesterday was a waste of time..don't get me wrong, I went willingly...but while I can see enough tendencies to question it myself-I don't see enough to believe it for fact. Anyway...

I"m supposed to be studying for my algebra final. I'm so frustrated it almost seems moot. I just want some answers....

We won't go into Cassy....lol...she's 11, hormonal and has an attitude..mostly not too bad but through in school frustrations and it can go over the top.

Well, I've put you all through enough..and I"m sorry to come back and whine. I do know how blessed I am-I recognize that God is large and in charge. Just keep swimming.

hugs to you all
Vicky
December 9, 2007 at 7:26pm
December 9, 2007 at 7:26pm
#554231
Dec 9, 2007

I will be gone for a few days...my algebra final is Wed morning and my final English paper is due by Friday....that's all I really have left and then I'm off school for a month.

Meanwhile-I'd still love to have a few more stories for the Blogville News section I'm doing-just drop it by my inbox-I'll try to check in before Wed.

Hope all is well in your neck of the woods. Please keep me in your prayers as I prepare for this test....I really would like to keep my A..but I've struggled alot with the last 3 sections we've studied.

thanks

hugs
Vicky
December 6, 2007 at 5:17pm
December 6, 2007 at 5:17pm
#553745
Dec 6, 2007

I'm in a mood and a half....squared. I will spare you the whining and the venting. I've done enough of it today-and even have a headache from crying on and off. It's nothing major..just an accumulation of nerves, frustrations, life, and me. What I will say is that I appreciate those of you who have sent me your stories...David McClain , purtycurls , *Barbara Maria* , and Uncle Egbert . From the bottom of my heart, I say thank you. That makes 5..including mine...surely there's a few more who want to see their name in print, want to share their joy or horror from holiday's past...a poem, an anecdote, a story, a song-whatever strikes your fancy. I'm excited...really excited to do this...so help a girl out, huh? Thanks...I promise I'll quit bugging y'all about it soon enough.

Since I"m not whining, I'm going to instead share with you three funny Jamie stories....

1. Tuesday when he came home from school (preschool-headstart), as he got off the bus, the busdriver gave him 2 stamps on his hand....because he had been very good. He couldn't wait to tell Daddy or Cassy-but Cassy was at school and Mike was at work. He was rather disappointed until I told him we could CALL daddy. So we did. I dialed, waited for Mike to answer, and told him Jamie wanted to talk to him. As I handed Jamie the phone, he farted. The first words out of his mouth were not "Hi Daddy" or to tell him about the stamps...his first words to Mike were-"OH, that was just my butt". Mike died laughing. Jamie almost didn't get to tell him about the stamps...lol

2. Later that afternoon-out of the blue and for no reason I can discover-Jamie looked at me and in a very grumpy and accusative voice said to me "I wanted to be bald like my grandpa!" I was speechless for a moment, tried to find out why and ended up apologizing because he isn't bald...lol

3. We got snow yesterday. Our first of the season. Jamie woke up very very grumpy. Until I showed him it had snowed. Then he was ecstatic. He wanted to go play in teh snow instead of going to school-of course that didn't happen. But the minute he got off the bus, he was ready to play. We came inside, went to the bathroom-got on his snowsuit, gloves, etc. Jamie doesn't have snowboots..it's not in the budget, it's on the Christmas list-but especially since he doens't have to walk much of anywhere in it..etc..and it hadn't snow...its' been far from a priority. SO...we wrapped walmart bags over his shoes and taped them to the inside of his snowsuit. worked well for no longer than he was out there. Anyway..he loves to eat snow...I keep trying to tell him not too..but he doens't listen much. I took some pics...though I can't share here...and he made a snow angel. At one point, I turned away and as I did..he decided to eat snow off of a bush...with his mouth...picture pointy branch and Jamie trying to use it like a spoon...while it's attached to the bush....I was afraid he was going to gag himself..lol
Ok, well the kids now want to go out in the snow together...and Mike will be home soon..have to figure out supper as well. I'll try to get around later this evening.

hugs
Vicky
December 5, 2007 at 2:55pm
December 5, 2007 at 2:55pm
#553541
Dec 5, 2007

Yesterday I posted a request for your favorite Christmas/Kwanza/Hannukah or your worst...it doesn't have to be long..it can just be a couple of sentences....it can be a poem....I know we are all busy....but PLEASE just shout out that you are going to send me something.....then send it to me so I don't have to come personally begging to each and every blog!

threat-check

(this is not beneath me...but I'd hate to fail my algebra final because I spent too much time begging in each blog for stories...) I have received one...thanks to David McClain . Thanks Tor for helping me and the Blogville News out. :)

guilt-check. :)

I'm struggling a bit today-I know what's new

cynicism-check

Today I'm struggling with finding God's will-no, that's not true-I'm having trouble believing that I understand God's will to be what I think it is..and even more trouble following it. It's uncomfortable and scary. While I am, with spousal support-trying to submit to God's will-it's difficult and not being done with a trusting heart. One of these decisions includes some financial stuff-already tight and scared to death with how we can make it-yet what choice do I really have? Yes, I can walk away from what I truly believe is the Almighty's will...and strive to figure it out on my own-but that doesn't grow my relationship with Him and it doesn't guarantee a fix. Trusting Him means letting go of something I believe can help us financially-but who better to help us than God? He knows what lies ahead. But I tend to second guess myself. And it's not an easy time of year for me to begin with. I'm looking at the next few weeks, wondering desperately how we are going to make it and yet,as purtycurls keeps reminding me (thanks hun, you don't know how much the common sense helps) God hasn't brought me this far to drop me on my ass. I know God is able and capable and has promised that He will take care of me. I believe this with my entire being. So why am I so scared?
Well- there was once an entry entitled "I am a Control Freak" You can go back and find it if you'd like to see the actual admission. I want to know how it's going to work. I want reassurance that it's going to work and know when thank you very much. I know that's not the way He works and I know I'll be calmer if I focus somewhere else. BUT BUT BUT...I'm not calmer, I pray He will give me that peace. Besides..who wants to focus for the algebra final? lol

Say some prayers for me please. Hugs are good too..lol

Onto other things...I have good news...for once this week..lol

I just posted a new item in my port....I meant to before now but had forgotten.
"Invalid Item

This is a paper I turned in back in October. I got my grade..finally today..and got a 98/100!!! I'm so excited. I'm hoping I do as well on the last one I wrote. It's already been posted in my port. "Invalid Item. There is an entire folder for my school stuff. Either people are afraid to rate it-or don't want to have to review it as well..lol cause most of it's been read, but not rated..not that I care...I figure my prof's know what they are doing and I'm making decent grades. But I wanted to share my grades with y'all. I"ll let ya know for sure when they are all tallied....9 days left.

shameless plug-check check

I hope everyone is doing well. I"ve subjected ya'll to enough for today. I'll be around to visit as I can.

hugs and blessings
Vicky
December 4, 2007 at 1:44pm
December 4, 2007 at 1:44pm
#553345
Dec 4, 2007

Yes, I'm actually here two days in a row! LOL

Not in a good mood. Some punk got into my car, stole my wallet..no money, but all ss cards (I had to have them last week and forgot to put them back in teh safe) my drivers license, and the kid's insurance cards. It's handled, but it's upsetting nonetheless.

I have a favor to ask of all you who stop in and read...even if you normally wouldn't....could you please email with either your favorite Christmas/Kwanza/Hannukah(sp) memory-or your worst-or both. It's for a project I"m working on for the Blogville News...scarily Queen Scarlett excepted my offer..and now I need you all...but please email me and don't put it in the comments here because we don't want EVERYONE to have already read your story when the news comes out do we?

Thanks in advance...I promise, you'll get full credit for your story-unless you'd like to remain anonymous (I can't spell today for anything and that sucks..lol)

Ok...I'm off. I'm supposed to be working on schoolwork, but I've got so much on my mind and I'm so frustrated I can't see straight.

I"ll be back soon to hear your stories!

hugs
Vicky
December 3, 2007 at 3:03pm
December 3, 2007 at 3:03pm
#553185
Dec 3, 2007

Before I start ranting I'm going to say "Hi there! How ya doing? Glad to see you!" I'm also going to tell you that I miss you all. Two more weeks to go and I will be on vacation from school for a month. I'm hoping to get lots of writing done..but I have to warn you that the apartment is most definitely in need of a good cleaning and my children (who get out a week after I do and go back a week before I do..) need some good mom time. Still, I imagine I'll be around much more.


Onto my rant. *grin*

In today's Indianapolis Star online there was an opinion article. You can find it here-
http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007712030330

This is not the first time in the last week I've read a similar article in the Indpls Star...it's a hot topic right now. But today, with Jamie home, and only the basics of schoolwork getting done, I did something I shouldn't have done-I read people's comments.

First, for those of you who really didn't want to go read the article-it's on childhood poverty in Indiana-and discusses the fact that Indiana is the 11th worst state in the nation in regards to child poverty..and that one in 5 children lives below the poverty level. Now it also mentions unwed teen mothers, low education, etc...and while I don't disagree that those are definitely factors for some...it's not a factor for all. In fact, in an article from last week's paper- which, if you are interested you can see-here- http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007711260385 states that not only does 1 in 5 children live in poverty but forty percent of children live in families that fall below 200% of the poverty level-that's $41,000 a year for a family of four-more than we make-which means we fall into that slot.

Now, understand. I'm not bothered by the article. As a matter of fact, it makes me feel a little better-after all we are certainly not alone in our struggle. However, as I said...I stopped to read comments from other readers...and the judgmental tone and the assinine suggestions made me boil. You know, I"m aware that people exist who milk the system. I'm aware that there ARE people who have children every few years (or at least attempt to time it that way) so they can stay on TANF or ADC or whatever. I'm aware that there is truly a problem in this entire country of babies being born to babies...and that needs to stop. And yet...some of the "suggestions" went so far as to say the reason there is a problem and people rely on the government so frequently is because there is no shame, no stigma to it. That parents who are on welfare and have another child should have their children removed from their homes and placed in foster care and be made to get a job. That's not going to require less funds from the government but MORE. And there are rules in place to prevent some of the abuse. Does it still happen...absolutely. But the majority of people-whether they be single parents or one with two parents-are getting government assistance in order to survive. In order to provide for their families. Many are trying to make a better life. And then there are those who fall through the cracks...those who fall at that 200% below poverty level..sorry a family of four who makes $41,000 DOES not qualify for much, if any government assistance. I won't name how much we make..but it is substantially less than that...and my kids qualify for health care.and reduced lunch and free textbooks. We also qualified this year for some winter heating assistance. That's it. I'd love to make a change to our families' finances..and we are slowly but I can't work right now..between school and Jamie's health-I never know if or when he's going to be sick..and while I hope we are through the worst of it and he's going to remain healthy...I don't know that yet...I'm trying to find a job in the evenings or nights....but it's not an easy thing to find...

Anyway, my point to this whole thing is that I should never read other people's comments from the paper-and I shouldn't go back and read their comments when I make one..cause now I"m even more ticked. Guess when you get down in the mud to roll with the pigs you are going to get dirty.

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is my response that I wrote-the comment that I left.


Part of my response and the emotions that go with it are because we are struggling to survive, we are trying to make ends meet, we are trying but barely surviving. I don't know how we are going to celebrate Mike's graduation or Jamie's birthday. I don't know how we are going to pay the bills and eat for the next two weeks. I know we will manage, God always provides a way...I"m just a little down and frustrated because there are so many things I want to do to celebrate and can't. Make's you more aware of what is truly important though. I am blessed enough that we are getting some help for Christmas..it doesnt' make me happy that we have to rely on it but I am eternally grateful that we are getting it. God is good. I have seen first hand His power and love and know that truly, all things are possible through Him. I know He has seen us through worse...it's rather scary at times though.

And yes, finances would be better if we dropped the internet..but then I couldn't take my courses online-and that would mean the gas to go back and forth to class, a sitter for my kids while I'm in class, etc. We've weighed the options, trying to figure out how to best make it work. We are not trying to be frivilous.


Onto other things.

Today would have been my parents wedding anniversary. They would have been married for 42 years. They've been gone for almost 6. They divorced in 1992 so technically it doesn't really matter...but it matters to me.

Jamie's birthday is Dec 13. He'll be 5. We go next Monday to have some testing done. He's having some behavior and school issues....I won't go into it here..his privacy etc.

Mike graduates from college on Dec 15th. I am so proud of him. He's worked so hard and I hope he is proud of himself too.


I know God is close and I know He's holding us and protecting us but I'm scared. I don't know how we are going to make it over the next month. Anyone who has any info on ways to make money from home...legitimate ones please....email me ..I'd be very appreciative.

God bless you all...know that you are in my thoughts on prayers even when I'm not here much.
November 7, 2007 at 5:27pm
November 7, 2007 at 5:27pm
#547547
November 7, 2007

This week I have a writing assessment due in Spanish class. I've written it, I've sent it to my sister who is proofing it..but if any of you care to take a look I'd be very appreciative. Please keep in mind this is a first year, first semester class. We only write in present tense, only know very basic verb conjugations and the theme was given to us.

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#1344562 by Not Available.


Other than that, things have been fine, crazy but fine.

So how are all of you?

I'm on vacation from Dec 14-Jan 14....I'm hoping to be on much more during that time. I've missed you all.

Drop me a line here or email me at hoosiermomma2@msn.com but let me know you are from here.

thanks and sending hugs
Vicky
October 22, 2007 at 12:16pm
October 22, 2007 at 12:16pm
#543520
Oct 22, 2007

It's been chaos here...how is it in your world?

Jamie was sick again last week-I won't go there right now..he's fine now but it's been a rough week. Mike was down with Vertigo, Jamie was down sick, and I didnt' sleep Tuesday night because of a bad tooth...Wed I went to the dentist and found out the trouble was my wisdon teeth and in about an hour they will be removing three of them...say a prayer for me..I'll check back in when I can.

School is going ok, I've got an A in 4 out of 5 classes..we are a little more than half way through the semester and I'm going to be glad for summer break.

Well, I need to finish getting ready to leave. Take care, and I promise to try to get around to everyone soon.

hugs and blessings
Vicky
October 10, 2007 at 11:43pm
October 10, 2007 at 11:43pm
#540910
10-10-2007

I am still very much alive! I'm sorry to have worried anyone..life's just been very crazy.

On the Jamie front..I don't know much...the test results were all normal-this I got from the nurse, whom I had to call because no one called me and it's been almost a month. He's been healthy other than a runny nose..but it's progress...maybe getting him out of the house did the trick.

On the school front...what can I say...5 classes is a lot. I'm doing fairly well but it's ALOT of work...to keep up, to stay there....I've got an A in 4 of my classes..the other one I missed doing the first speech because Jamie was sick, but got an 84 on the second speech and an 92 on the test...there are also some discussion board questions and I've gotten either 10/10 or 8/10 on all of them (6 graded so far). We are at mid term almost...so I'm halfway there..and then I'll get like a month off between semesters so that will be awesome!

My sister is doing ok...the new meds she is on seems to be helping and while the headache is not gone, it's much better.

Say a prayer for all of us as we continue to adjust to the move..and as the stresses of the move are starting to pop up with the kids.

Cassy started basketball practice last week and is on student council as well...end of the grading period is Friday and report cards will be out next week. She was doing well at midterm...but we also have had a few hiccups in that road..as she learns about responsibility and that she has to study to pass...let's hope her grades didn't take too big of a hit in that lesson because the school requires her to maintain a B- average to stay on student council..and we require a B average to stay on the basketball team...I know it seems harsh but if she's choosing to (and it's a choice) to slack off of her school work then she doesn't earn the privelege of being on a sports team...I struggle with this becasue she needs the physical activity and it's good for her self esteem...but at the same time, when she's missing 9 out of 29 on a math homework assignment..and it's not because she doesn't understand but because of careless mistakes (per her teacher) I don't feel sorry for her. When she gets a D on her social studies quiz because she didn't bring home the study guide...I don't feel sorry for her. She's a good, bright, and capable student...She's also good at sports and I want to encourage both...but if she can't handle the workload without sports..or chooses not to..then how can she handle it with sports...UG>..could someone write me an instruction manual please??!! lol

We were at our old church this evening...a friend of mine watched Jamie today (long story) and I met her there to pick him up. Both kids had meltdowns about not staying for class (we did stay for singing). I wanted to stay too but with the 45 min trip home...the fact that it was already 7 and we hadn't eaten....I had to be the resposible one..I didn't want to be...so Jamie threw a fit in the fellowship hall (and told me he was going home with someone else) and Cassy pouted 3/4 of the way home...They both miss the comfort, their friends, and the atmosphere. They've been going to an AWANA program on Wed night's but it's not the same, they are struggling to adjust, trying to make new friends..we haven't found a church close by and it's tough. Then my daughter gets mad becasue she never gets to choose to just drop everything and go see her friends...she's apprently under the impression that I do...the mind of an 11 year old...she thinks my life is all fun, I get to do what I want and see who I want...when most days I can't even go to the grocery store until Mike gets home because I don't have a car. I split my days between housework and schoolwork, and the kids and mike once they are home. Yes, sometimes I choose to watch an hour of tv during the day.but most of the time it's not even on. She's struggling with missing everyone...and struggline wanting more freedom...yet she chooses not to act responsibly and just doesn't seem to get it...UGGH...sorry..I know I'm a bit all over the place. She's a great kid, with a great heart and a huge amount of potential. I told her all she had to do, if she wanted changes was be responsible, and talk to me about what she'd like..I'll listen, and I'm willing to compromise...but sometimes as a parent, you have to be the bad guy. It sucks but it's reality. Enough of that.

Mike is doing well. He's halfway through his 2 classes as well..then he's done and will have his degree. He's happy at work, adjusting somewhat with the move and is the love of my life.

I'll be posting my most recent English paper for review and help...soon...I got an 88 on the last one..not bad but could be better. I'm trying so hard to make the dean's list.

Well, I've rambled at y'all enough. Take care of you. I pray God blesses each one of you in a special way and touches your hearts where you need it most.

blessings and peace
Vicky
September 28, 2007 at 5:45pm
September 28, 2007 at 5:45pm
#538309
Sept 28, 2007

It's been a rough week around here...lots of things going on and I've been an emotional mess. I thank all of you who have stopped by, emailed, or just been praying.

I have no news yet from Riley..if they don't call me by Thursday this week, I will be calling them, I've tried to be patient but I'm out of patience. He appears to have made it through a cold he had last week...probably the first time it didnt' turn into a sinus infection ever..so maybe the move was a very good thing.

Motivationally I"ve just not been there this week..I still have a lot of work to finish for school, so assuming the computer behaves, that's what I'll be doing this evening-finances and life's stresses are the cause..I'm trying to focus on God and all he's done for us...but I'm not doing very well wiht it this week...

Now a praise-it's about time y'all get to do more than listen to me whine...lol

My sister saw the vascular neurosurgeon today and he said that the mass is far less trouble than the original neurosurgeon thought. He does not feel surgery is needed...and would do more harm than good. The mass is a capilary (sp) hermangioma-which Jamie has one on his forearm....but hers is internal..and that if it bleeds again it won't be a danger...they will keep an eye on things..but...no surgery...praise be to God.

She is still having headaches, but he feels it's due to the degenerative disc disease in her neck..because of the location...she sees a neurologist on Monday and needs to see an orthopedic dr as well.

Well, that's all for now...know that y'all are in my thoughts and prayers
hugs
Vicky


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
September 21, 2007 at 12:21pm
September 21, 2007 at 12:21pm
#536691
Sept 21, 2007

Sorry I haven't updated much..it's been a crazy week. I have 2 tests, a paper, a narrative, and a speech to write and give. We've also had 2 things going on at Jamie's school..an ice cream social and a parent meeting..2 different nights.

I got a 96 on my algebra test...I'm very excited.

Jamie is getting another sinus infection. He's snotty and congested but they are holding off doing anything...I suppose there's not much they can do right now..it's in the early stages..but I know where it's going and wish they'd do something.

I have no results yet from Riley...I'm guessing it may be another week or so..some of those labs take a while. We did do the sweat test this past Monday..the lady who did it said that its results would be back that afternoon and the dr would have a hard copy of the results in the chart on Tuesday..and said generally if there is even a borderline possibility they would call within 24 hours to schedule follow up. I guess no news is good news.

My sister is having some major problems...she has a 1.4 cm mass on her brain...it's an old bleed according to the MRI ..she sees a vascular neurosurgeon on the 28th..this all started becasue she's had major headaches constantly for almost 7 weeks. The mass is not the cause..now they are saying she has degenerative disc disease in her neck but nothing they give her for the pain seems to touch it. she feels like heck, is barely functioning at work...and is worried about the most likely brain surgery to remove the mass-she's seen 1 neurosurgeon..he's sending her to the vascular one but said he thought she'd end up having surgery. She has a clotting disorder called Von Willabrands (sp) and that makes everything even mor difficult...I mean, they have a blood product they can give her to help with the clotting during and after surgery but it's just so much....prayers please majorly.

Ok..I haven't showered yet and need to get to my algebra homework. I'll try to pop back in later.

hugs and blessings

thanks to all who have stopped by or touched base...you don't know how much your love and support mean.
hugs
Vicky
September 14, 2007 at 4:21pm
September 14, 2007 at 4:21pm
#535164
Sept 14, 2007

Ok, a quick update on Jamie...the sweat test has been moved, at my request to this Monday instead of the following...Riley won't call with any info until all of the tests are done and the results are back...waiting another week and then having to wait for however long it all takes to be worked up..just wasn't going well....she hadn't originally offered me this Monday...so I called and asked if that had anything closer than the 24th...it's taken some rearranging on our parts to get him in for it (because it's a VERY early appointment) but it will be well worth it.

Also...I have placed 2 papers in my "Invalid Item folder.
The first is
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1316824 by Not Available.
for my English course and the other is
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1318749 by Not Available.
of anyone has a chance to look at either one and give me some feedback I'd appreciate it. The second one doesn't seem much like a mission statement but the topics I touched on were ones required by the assignment...

thanks y'all...busy weekend ahead...so I'm trying to get all of my work for school out of the way.

Do y'all know how much I appreciate being able to come here and vent and share with you?

praying as always for you
hugs
Vicky
September 13, 2007 at 10:41pm
September 13, 2007 at 10:41pm
#535006
Sept 13, 2007

First a wow and a thanks for those who have sent me C notes and gp's...what a suprise to log into!!! Not sure why, but thanks for the love, support and smiles.

Onto Jamie....We had our visit at the children's hospital today...no real news...lots of labs....including one for cystic fibrosis...which is one the dr is a little suspicious of..which makes mom very nervous...if he's got it..it's mild...or we'd have found out about it before now...but...big sigh....it's scary and worrisome and the drive there and back was quite nervewracking.

Prayers for him...for answers and for grace. Prayers for my sister who's having some issues...I won't go into details here...but she could use the prayers..

I'm wiped..have lots of schoolwork to finish tomorrow and my nerves are just completely fried. We have a busy weekend..and my little princess will be 11 on Monday....

I'll update again when I get the chance...I'm hoping to get some writing (besides the blog) posted here soon...but between school and everything I else I barely have time to think..let alone write.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all
hugs
Vicky
September 9, 2007 at 8:10pm
September 9, 2007 at 8:10pm
#534054
9-9-07

So sorry I haven't been around..between Jamie being sick and school things are just nuts. He is better..temp broke as of Friday (he last ran one Thursday afternoon). The sinus ct scan was normal, bloodwork was normal...we go see Riley Children's Hospital outpatient infectious disease clinic on Thursday to start trying to figure out why.

My sister had the kids this past weekend...my beloved and I had some time alone...which despite the fact we both had a lot of schoolwork was enjoyable. Thanks so much to my sister..the kids had a great time too!

Well, gotta run..I finished my English paper..but my husband has an assignment..and I have one I need his help with..both due by midnight.

uggh

hugs
Vicky
September 5, 2007 at 2:57pm
September 5, 2007 at 2:57pm
#533052
I come to each of you now begging you to pray for Jamie and for us...I don't mean to be melodramatic....but he's sick again...out of the hospital for a month and now he's doing the same thing again...high fevers for no apparent reason (the last 4 days).....blood work is normal...and in between bouts of fever he acts ok..though cranky and demandning more and more as this lingers.....temps have been as high as 104.2 axilarry. Dr.'s office is referring us to Riley outpatient immunology but we are twiddling our thumbs waiting for the referral, waiting for Riley to call back...waiting on medicaid to ok the sinus ct scan the dr wants to rule out another sinus infection....and I'm exhausted...and at the end of my rope...I sit herei n tears, not knowing what to do, feeling like I'm fighting this battle alone. I KNOW God is on our side...but I need your prayers for Jamie and for me...to intercede...to make people pay attention and get Jamie where he needs to be to figure out what in the heck is going on.....I beg your prayers....

thanks
Vicky
September 3, 2007 at 6:46pm
September 3, 2007 at 6:46pm
#532610
Sept 3, 2007

I need your help. I have a paper due next Sunday by midnight..in that I have to include an interview. The paper is just a rough draft...it's an explanation paper on the career I intend to pursue after I graduate...I chose journalism...though I'm not positive that's where I'll end up...I know one "journalist" who writes for a local paper..emailed her with an interview request and got no response..so here's what I need


I need a journalist-which loosely could be any of you...but for the purposes of this paper..someone who has been paid to write an article, an online journal, etc...that would allow me to interview them either via email or IM...holler at me and let me know who you are...PLEASE!!!!

thanks
Vicky
August 29, 2007 at 4:41pm
August 29, 2007 at 4:41pm
#531456
August29, 2007

Below is what I hope is my final draft of my communications speech..thanks so much to those of you who helped me to edit it previously...I'd love for ya'll to take a look and if something majorly jumps out let me know...please...

College and full time motherhood is hard...I'm overwhelmed and afraid I won't be able to handle it...but I'm plugging along.





Good Afternoon. My name is Vicky and I’m an English Communications Major at Ivy Tech Community College. I am currently in my first semester, taking courses online from our home in Plainfield Indiana. My husband Mike and I have been married for fourteen years. He is the love of my life, my rock and my best friend. We have two children. Cassy is almost eleven and is active in softball and 4H. James, is four-he enjoys playing outdoors, riding his bike, and protecting all of us with his sword.

I was born the younger of two children of lower middle class parents. I weighed in at 3 ½ lbs and was born 6 weeks early. Delivered at 7:05pm and baptized at 2:05 am because of my prematurity; my head fit into my father’s hand. The hat I wore when I was brought home, I later used as part of my doll’s clothing, although I’m sure she didn’t cry or fill diapers at the same rate as I had.

I came from miraculous beginnings; both of my parents were disabled. She had influenza meningitis at the age of 7. The fever from this was so high it burnt brain cells so that she became a c5-7 quadraplegic. My father was born with a disease that ate away the ball and socket of his hip…both of them could very easily have lost their lives; however, God had other plans for both of them. They met in a school for the handicapped in Indianapolis and later married, though neither of their families were happy about it. They divorced when I was eighteen but were friends and supporters of one another until they died.

One of the first lessons I remember learning from my mom was to love and accept everyone for who they were despite what they looked like, what color their skin or if they had a disability. She taught me I should find out who people were on the inside before making a decision about them. And she knew all about it…because of her disability she was judged many times, treated as if because her body didn’t work, neither did her brain.

While I learned very early not to judge, I learned almost as quickly that I would be judged by what I looked like, what I wore, how I sounded, who my family was. I became very self- protective at a very young age, choosing not to share much with those I did not trust completely, and trusting very few people. This is a habit that I struggle very hard with in adulthood, but one my writing is helping to cure.



Five years ago, I lost both of my parents. Feeling much like an orphan and wallowing heavily in grief, I was led back to church. An experience, which turned out to be my saving grace, in more ways than one. The church community became my family. The pastor at that time opened my eyes to the things I would need to do to heal, both from the losses I’d recently had and from the lies I’d accepted as truth all of my life. It was in this environment I also discovered that I could touch people’s lives and hearts through my writing.

I now belong to an online writing group. This has been a great source of support, and encouragement, and growth. Allowing me to feel like I’ve made an impact in others lives. I have shared my faith, my experiences, my opinions, and my mistakes. Those involved in the group make me feel like I CAN write and that I SHOULD be writing. This group has allowed me to be involved in contests and pushed me to write in genres I wouldn’t have normally considered-one being poetry. I have learned to edit and review other people’s writing. I have also learned that just because someone critiques my writing, it doesn’t mean they are criticizing me.

Occasionally I have trouble with this -partially because my writings are part of who I am.

So who am I?

I am a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter and a friend.

I am a singer, a student, a teacher, a writer and a child of God.


While I battle my own demons and wage war against the past, I also know that who I am is defined not by my faults and my failures but by the gifts my Father in Heaven has given to me. Each day is a fresh start, each page is blank, I don’t have to judge myself by the world’s standards. God has created me free and new.


Thanks for your time

hugs
Vicky
August 25, 2007 at 10:18pm
August 25, 2007 at 10:18pm
#530682
August 25, 2007

I have a BIG favor to ask y'all. I have to give a speech for my Com 101 class next week...and I need some help.

It's here "Invalid Item

I need some input, grammar (not so much punctuation since it will be spoken) but word style, how to stretch it a bit, etc....I'm at 2:40 needs to be 3-4..and I'd be happier with 3:30 to have a cushion. I will be giving this speech probably on Thursday for some friends..it will be video taped and then digitally sent (we hope...don't ask me how..hubby is working on that one) It's been a long time since I did a speech....and I'd really appreciate your input.

Things here are going ok...heading back to the house tomorrow after church to do a few things, pick up a few things...etc....will touch base back here tomorrow evening...

thanks a bunch...in advance..hope y'all are doing well

You are in my prayers....and if you have a prayer request...drop me a line...just in case I don't get around to ya....chaos here and all

hugs and blessings
Vicky

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