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 |  Welcome to The Library. Randomness happens, Studyees. |
 I figured it was about time I started keeping track of silly thoughts or strange things I see from time to time. Sometimes it's vulgar. Sometimes it's sad. And even on some rare occasions, it's a riot!  I think a therapist would have a field day with this...oh wait...I already tried that, to no avail. I guess the rest is up to you. So feel free to stick your takes in The Drop-Off at any time, and don't hold back. Give it to me! Studyees, you get prime real estate in The Library, so make it count. Peace out NOW! 
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You guys rock. No, seriously. Thanks for all the nice comments and stuff yesterday; made me feel a whole lot better.  I should've listened to this yesterday. Awesome lyrics. I tend to forget how good this cd is... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iw7YcxPug1w I think when their new cd comes out it'lll be my next purchase.  "You're so cute when you're slurring your speech, but they're closing the bar and they want us to leave."Now that the weather's been decent, I've developed the awful habit of not being able to make up my mind about anything in the morning. Lately it's been get up, check my email, wait for the regular mail and hang out in front of the house with the upstairs neighbors...I don't really get going until like noon. Terrible. On the other hand, I'm feeling like a big kid in a lot of ways today, so it is without shame I present what is probably my #1 most favorite song of all time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HS7GQFxoHKg&feature=related I think I'm gonna go spend some time in the sun...hope everyone has a super day!  |
| Cuz midgets dancing always puts a smile on my face. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qW0Edq1KqI Do what I can, try as I may...there's no shortages of ex-lovers in this town. The more I try to avoid them, it seems the easier they appear. Went to lunch after the supermarket. Knew I was gonna hafta pass Vinessa's house anyway (and it seems any time I go someplace where I'm gonna hafta pass her house, she's either outside or just pulling in her driveway). Haven't really talked to her since she made a point to come to my house and tell me off last summer. Don't care either way. Like I've mentioned before, sometimes the way the situation ended really eats at me, but I really only think about it when I pass her house or see her driving. A couple minutes of guilt and I'm fine. And I really do avoid walking past her house as much as possible, but sometimes there are no ways around it. So I get to the restaurant...your basic Greek family restaurant, menu's the same as any other place. Place my order, open up the sports section, and the voice of the waitress at the table next to me catches my attention. Fuck, it's Vinessa. Fuck. Check please, table 2. And if that's not bad enough, guess who gets the pleasure of cashing me out? Yup. Awkward small talk ensues.  And honestly, I don't know how I feel about this girl. I really don't. I know I should just forget she even exists. But if she called me up tonight and said "let's hang out" I'd have a hard time saying no. I should just shut up and forget it...too many reasons to think this relationship might be a good idea, and just as many to believe it wouldn't be a good idea. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-bIhCBSrzU&feature=related Ahhh, the priveledge of being a stupid, cuddly boy with a big heart and an excited nature . Why couldn't I just be a dick like every other guy girls bitch about? |
| Yeah. Been a boring day of sorts. Dipped out into the springtime overcast air for an egg sangwich and a massive bowl of mashed potatoes. Then the rain came. And then, the rain came. Then, it rained some more. So I actually managed to take a decent nap. I think I'm finally past the terror naps, finally. But then I woke up, and it was still rainy. And it was a nice, slow rain, but steady enough to keep me grounded. At least it wasn't cold too. Then the rain stopped. The sun had been battling through all day and finally won! I made steps to get some food, but it was too late (and I was too lazy) to get what I wanted, so I settled for Subway. And a compliment from a cute girl that I foolishly didn't persue...according to the sandwich artist, she's got a man but she's been keepin this dude company for over an hour, and he ain't no great shakes. And I had a lot more to say, but G's blog gave me a lot of pause today and made me lose focus. I need to write more shit down. What has kept the day together? I finally got Atmosphere's Sad Clown seasons EP pack in the mail today. 15 more tracks, some of which I haven't heard yet. And they included a lot of nifty shit besides the 3 ep's...stickers, a patch, flyers, even a little mint as a promo for the new cd, with a website I hafta check out. Support your locals and indies people, and they'll love you back. Finally. Off to concoct some new ideas about life. Or maybe have a smoke and get some fitful sleep so tomorrow can be even better. Wish I knew where this optimism is coming from. atmospheresucks.com |
| Another overcast day so I'll take my chances with the weather. Before I get on with my life, here's the feel-good-story-of-the-day: http://sports.espn.go.com/ncaa/columns/story?columnist=hays_graham&id=3372631&lp... Me? Trying to wean myself off sleeping meds. Having varying degrees of success. Last night was a complete setback. When I was first having problems, they were giving me 5mg of Ambien. Then 10mg. I'd maybe sleep 3 hours. Not fun. So they switched me to 50mg of Trazedone. Which worked but my body quickly adapted to. So I got bumped up to 100mg, which also worked for a time being. So my doctor suggested 125-150mg a night. I'd sleep through the night but wake up feeling as if I'd had 3 hours of sleep after a Mexican Bender. So I've tried some other things; changed things in my diet, trying to smoke less at night, trying chamomile tea, limiting Mountain Dew after certain hours and trying to keep it down to one a day. Yeah. Look ma your lil boy's all grown up and stuff. Well, I don't know what the hell happened last night. I layed down, tired, and...nothing. I really don't think I fell asleep til 8am, and got up for good at 9:30. And I know it wasn't a good sleep at all. I also woke up with a pain in my right kidney, as if I'd washed down a bottle of gin with 2 liters of tonic water and swallowed a whole lime that my organs just said "fuck this, I'm done with you today." I guess I must've not slept on it wrong or something . I know you're concerned...I am feeling much better this afternoon.I've been sleeping on the loveseat in my spare room too, because it's warmer than my bedroom. Plus the loveseat is super comfy. It reclines, which gives me extra room. And I'm weird. If I sleep facing the the back of the loveseat and get right up against it it's super comfortable; I feel a strange sense of security. If I lay on my back I can put my feet up on the armrest, which I find to be comfortable too. And if I lay on the other side, I can sprawl out if I want. So it's not like I don't have options. I just don't know what the problem is. The other issue I have with sleep is my dreaming. Lately they haven't been epic dreams...more like unrelated snippets, like dream commercials and they're all unrelated and they last like 30 seconds. I know this because in the hour+ of "sleep" I got this morning I had 3 dreams, 2 of which I can recall:  I'm at a bar with my crazy ex-girlfriend (but we're together at the time), and Peter Wolf is hitting on my girlfriend so obviously, not knowing I'm with her. Then he sits down on a staircase next to me, telling me he met this amazingly gorgeous girl and describing my ex to a tee. And that's where it ends. If you don't remember who Peter Wolf is, maybe this jogs your memory:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ea8fOOwfBEs The second one has been a bit of a recurring one lately, but each time it's with a different girl. We're walking through a meadow, me and my girl (who for some reason looks a lot like an updated version of Sigourney Weaver when she was in Ghostbusters...and I don't even like her) hand-in-hand, and she stops, and starts crying. I hug her and ask her what's wrong, and she tells me she has to break up with me. And all I say is "That's ok...it's not me, it's you"  and I walk away to the music of Atmosphere's "Should've Known Better" in the background. Geez, I guess I can be an asshole in my dreams too .OK Rule Of The Day time: When you bring your kids to the library and one's in a stroller, and you want to use the computer next to me with your other kid (breaking the library's "one person per computer"rule), don't park your stroller/infant combo behind me. For the entire length of that video, I was absolutely physically and verbally abused by a one-and-a-half year old...screaming over the video that I couldn't hear, grabbing the knob on the back of my chair, pushing and pulling, whacking me...I should call CPS and tell them I was beaten on by a toddler. But not kid every is bad...on the way to Walgreens yesterday I passed a day care center, and on decent days they take the kids for a walk, and it's cute...they're all holding hands, and chatting, ya know, 3 and 4 year olds being 3 and four year olds. I yield to the street so they can have the sidewalk, and toward the back of the line, the cutest little boy turned and waved to me . I said hi...I think that made my week, really.And since I'm in '80's mode today and feeling like I'm in that sinister "let's see how many songs we can get stuck in peoples' heads today" phase, I offer this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7z9bPrUark4 Not bad by a group named for drug scorers...ok I've seen too many episodes of VH1's Behind The Music. Hope you guys have an awesome weekend. |
| Overcast. Me or the weather? You decide. Wish the clouds would make up their mind so I can make up mine. So I sat for a couple hours yesterday, working on posting more of "Cabin Fever"  and doing a few reviews. No emails, no big deal. Wasn't expecting any, sittin' on a lackluster blog entry (that apparenty served only to give Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm  the munchies at 3am her time, 4am my time...like my blog is some kind of cyber hippie-lettuce). So I went home, fiddled with the newspaper crosswords (I know...DORK! Now if you all roll your eyes at the same time, maybe the earth's rotation will reverse.) and logged back on for the hell of it, maybe an hour later. Only to find I have 16 new emails. ! Two more while I was checkin'. And 5 more when I got up this morning with another 4 after lunch. Haven't seen numbers like that in awhile. An unexplained phenomenon, like everyone jumped on the bus at the same time. Awesome and humbling. Stop by and say hi to someone new to this little internet crawlspace known as my blog, AXiLeA  ...she's new to blogging and is very talented, so give her some encouragement.Anyways, I was talking to my friend Nicole in NC (sup Goldfish) earlier and she was telling me about how her fiancé is going back to school and enrolling at ITT. Which got me thinking, so I pressed her for some details and info. There's ITT locations up here, and I've got some experience w/computers, electronics and technology...maybe now's the time to go back to school and get a degree finally. ITT is pricey, but they offer a nice upside, plus I figure in my situation I might be able to get grants or tuition assistance. Can't hurt to look into it. The downsides? The closest campus isn't that easy for me to get to, and I'm still gonna need employment. Say I luck out and manage to find a full-time job...all I know is retail sales and management...can I wrap that around school? And it's been over ten years since I've been in a classroom for something other than court-ordered traffic school (which I've taken enough times that I could practically teach it ). Can I handle that, in a younger crowd? I'm gonna hafta do some looking into this. Bleh. The sun and clouds are playing pattycake up there and there's no hope for a winner. Guess my perma-scowl is staying in today. I'm off to your blogs...keep those emails comin' and I hope y'alls have a kickass day. Peace. |
| Mhm. Not on the menu. I woke up this morning with a weird taste for Polish sausage. I only eat it a couple times a year. And being that this was once a big Polish community, it shouldn't be that hard to find. And if not, I'd settle for Italian sausage...which I never eat. I know if I go to Frosty's, the seasonal hot dog/ice cream stand, I'll have my choice of Polish and Italian. But I don't feel like sitting outside to eat; it's way too chilly (and like Julie D - PUBLISHED! said, you'd think with the month of May around the corner it wouldn't be so cold...guess not, since it's the end of April and I'm still dressing in layers). So I figure The Dutch Mill has to have it, since they're a little Texas Hots place with a full menu. Plus they're reasonable. And cute waitresses are always a bonus . I sit down, start flipping through the menu...alas, no sausage of any kind. None. Unless you count hot dogs. I don't. So now I'm sitting here ready to pass out from what possibly could've been the largest hot turkey sandwich ever ingested. Should've passed up the apple pie, or at least asked for them to warm it up. Since I'm in this '90's kick, here's something from back in the day...living on my own for the first time, watching MTV2 (when they too only played videos, of bands we'd never heard of) til the wee hours and drinking microbrews we'd never heard of before with Dave. Good times. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rQmB7SCrzc Viva la vinyl. "Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow." |
| Because here, flannel never goes out of style. I had no reason to blog today. Nor reason to eat. Eating's not doing me any good again lately, as my body rejected my attempt at healthy eating yesterday. Turned me in to a bad citizen; I skipped the village board meeting. So yeah, wasn't gonna chime in today cuz I'm just in a lousy mood, it's cold out, and I'm in desparate need of a life makeover. See, I rock comfy clothes. I don't mind dressing up, but I'm not down with the flannel over the sweater over the tee. Or the blood-stained jeans from I-don't-know-what-the-fuck-happened-there. Or the hair that's trying to bring the 90's back. When I was a kid my hair grew fast. Then it couldn't grow fast enough...by the time it got to where I wanted it I couldn't wait to cut it off. I can say this for sure: It's time to do laundry, as I've burned through most of the clothes I like (and I own more clothes than necessary). And war on the idiots at Burgrrr King for making me wait and wait and wait only to set me up with the wrong sangwich...thanx for the coupons. And war on the old lady behind me who couldn't wait to place her order as I was placing mine that she kept creeping closer and closer til she was practically in my earhole. And peace to the old lady with the enormous glasses sunday at Rite Aid with her cart full of spices and ramen noodles like the world's gonna end, for telling me to skip you in line so I could get my Mountain Dew on. A lovely gesture. IF I WERE AT THE LIBRARY: These would be your soundtracks to this entry: "Down With The King" by Run DMC and "Outshined" by Soundgarden Peace out. Boycott Idiocity whenever possible and/or prevalent. |
| Greetings from the land of rusted Tempos and busted personalities. It's cold and rainy. I can already feel it's gonna be a long week. I want to scream. I love my family, but somewhere along the line a few chromosomes must've been omitted from our DNA. My aunt calls me late last night to confirm the 9-10am pick-up time for my dad's end table. I don't know why, because she was in the background when my dad called earlier. So we set the plans and set up a few other arrangements. All set, right? Like I said before, if it were only that simple, I would not be sitting here. I make sure to point out that since it wouldn't fit in Dad's Kia Sephia, it would be best to either bring their pickup or even better, their Ford Explorer. "Ok honey," in my aunt's sweet voice. "Love ya, see ya in the morning." Not a mention of anything else. Sweet. Lug the cabinet to the door and go to bed. My aunt calls this morning to tell me she's on her way. Ahhh, the inevitable change of plans. My dad somehow is destined not to have this thing.  She asked me if I heard about my uncle's father going in the hospital and being moved to an assisted-living facility. Of course not; she would've been the one to tell me. My uncle's sister is in town and she's using the Explorer, doesn't have her cell on or something and can't be tracked down. Wonderful. They roll up in my aunt's Chevy Cavalier. Fucking Cavalier! Are you kidding me? But she swears there's more room than my dad's car. Which is true. But it's still not enough. Uncle Ron pops the trunk after we try the side doors, takes one look and says "forget it."  Did I mention that part of the conversation involved me measuring the table thingey so they had the dimensions? Yeah. I want my dad to have this thing. With the price of gas these days, it's not exactly cheap to be driving back and forth from the city and coming home empty-handed. Granted, a few minor details were accomplished, but that's not the point. The point is, I'm one bad mood away from taking an axe to this wooden monstrosity and turning it into a bonfire. My living room is large enough that it's certainly not in my way, but c'mon. It's not of any use or value to me, the man needs it more than I do, and I'm bloody sick of looking at it. And it's not easy getting this thing in and out of the house, up and down the driveway, then struggling to jam it into a vehicle. If and when he finally gets this table, he better have it bronzed or something. It will be quite the achievement. And the weather's not going to get any better throughout the week. I can already see my mood in the rear-view. The sun went away and took my smile with it. Eh, at least I still have my music. Hope it's sunny wherever you are. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJ1gLYCvcOo&feature=related "Like just getting out of there is gonna get me outta this." |
| There is not a single muscle on my person that doesn't still hurt today from the whole Clean Up activities. I never factored in the "up and down" of it all. Nor my sunstroke getabilaty factor, and its carryover effects. So my back feels slightly less than wonderful y'all. And I won't even get into the tearyness that I almost had over my last entry, or the music I listen to. |
| I was getting kinda nervous. Dad was supposed to call me during the week about the end table he was supposed to pick up last saturday (and I'm not repeating that debacle...it's last saturday's entry, scroll back if ya missed it). I always get a little nervous when someone says they're gonna call and don't, but I get a little more so with him...if and when tragedy strikes, I'm usually the last one to know. Got up this morning and waited around for a little bit, because he mentioned possibly getting it today. But I really didn't want to wait around, he never called and I was getting kinda hungry, so I slashed legs on the way to the '50's Diner for breakfast. And I haven't been there in quite awhile. They're a tad pricey and a lot of times this tiny little trailer is mobbed for breakfast. But the people who own it are genuinely nice people; they're locals too and you can see them out just about anywhere, grocery shopping or even at a bar (in fact I've partied with them and their daughter a couple times at the karaoke bar...it was funny when I'd go in there after another late night of too many barley sodas, forgetting they worked there and being greeted with "Hey! Looked like you had a good time last night!" and me being too hungover to remember I was gonna see them for breakfast). But I digress...they even remembered my usual order; decaf coffee, glass of water, 2 eggs over easy, 2 strips of bacon, wheat toast and mashed potatoes with gravy instead of the homefries (don't judge me! Mashed potatoes with breakfast is healthier than french fries, and I don't like homefries or hash browns much. No playa-hatin' on my potato selection!). The good news is the old man finally called. The better news is that my aunt and uncle are coming to pick it up tomorrow between the ungodly early hours of 9 and 10AM. The best news? He stopped at the Indian Reservation to get me some cigarettes. Oh yeah, he's doin' well too. I often wonder over the last few years if my dad's trying to make up for not being around when I was a kid. He buys me smokes, he's giving me his car, he hugs me and says he loves me, little stuff. Calls me buddy. Different from a guy who I think spent his entire 30's either drunk, angry, or both. Or semi-existant. I'm not complaining; I think it's great. No use in crying over spilt beer. I'm glad he's still around. So I know you're probably never going to see this, but I love you too dad. "Given To You" I know we all have these different backgrounds and not everyone is lucky enough to share the same sentiments that I have today. Just promise me you'll tell someone you're close to, someone you might not always say it to, that you love them. They'll appreciate you for it. Sorry to get all cheesy today. 32 years and I'm still trying to figure this place in my head out sometimes. I know the title is a Nirvana lyric, but the clips aren't. This goes out to anyone who's ever felt different or freakish. It's the best version I could find, but it blows away the acoustic version I'm familiar with. And no, it's not Atmosphere today. Oh yeah, and to dads and sons too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ujCcmUMr30&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6L3hdhCkJqE Because turntabling is a lost art in the era of radio ringtone rap. Support your local DJ's. Honk if you love peace and quiet. |
| I paid my moral pennance to Mother Earth this morning...I guess it really pisses her off when I flick my cigarette butts on her roadways. Clean Up Depew Day went well, but I swear I've never picked up more butts in my life. And I know they weren't mine because I'm never in the area I was working in. Big turnout this year too. Good to see a lot of young people there helping out, even if they were mostly there to fulfill their community service requirement before graduation (which I think is a good idea, making kids do community service...it's a good way to foster good habits that hopefully last long after commencement). I even got my picture taken along with 2 of the village trustees; if it makes the community paper next week I'll try to post a link. But hobnobbing with the local politicians is interesting. You know they're always nice and friendly in a public setting. And you also know they're twisting a knife in someone's back when you get them alone. My landlord, for example. Great guy. Known him for years. He's been a trustee for a long time and he knows a lot of people. He's always got a story for me when he picks up the rent, be it about the village, people he knows, or even the place I live in, which was converted from a bar he used to own. And I'm polite. I listen, and I really don't mind his stories, even if some I've heard before. Get him out in public, at a social event, and he's a chatterbox like you wouldn't believe. I see it and don't think anything of it, but I can see how people can get annoyed by him. I really thought at one point the mayor was gonna slug him for putting the chips and Doritos and other munchies out before the hot dogs and pizza were ready (and I really don't blame him...it's the customer service in him that goes back to his barkeep days, plus the earlier the food's out means it's likely there'll be a lot less left over). I overheard several people talking slight smack about my man. But it's politics. I keep my mouth shut because you never really know who knows who and who knows what. And if I ever decide to get any further involved with the village, I don't want people talking shit about me. It's not my business to get all involved with other people's feelings toward each other (unless it's blatant or harmfully disrespectful...that's different). My question is this: is it really human nature to seek out the flaws in people and highlight them to others behind someone's back? I'm sure I've even done it at some point, and perhaps I didn't even know if I was doing it. I know I can say some pretty stupid things at the worst possible times, but I'm especially careful around certain groups of people and today was that day. So that's it. Got some sun, a little color on my skin. I did a good thing for the village and the earth. The humidity has officially returned and I'm hoping I make it home before the thunderstorms they're advising us may or may not happen. And I can make it home in time to pay the rent and catch another story from my landlord . Off to your blogs then...hope it's a beautiful day for everyone. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZvyPe9Ox-4 |
| you paint that shit gold! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkAoKZLMZ1M&NR=1 New album is really growing on me...different than his older stuff, but lyrically stronger. Now if only the cd I ordered online over 3 weeks ago would come in. Sorry, don't have much to say today. I guess I've been behaving myself.  |
| Here's the soundtrack to today's entry... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfrNF9GOMUs I tell people I'm from Buffalo, which isn't a total lie. I was born in the city, and it gets more name-recognition than Depew (and if I tell people I live in New York, they usually assume New York City, which is at the opposite end of the state). I grew up in Cheektowaga, a first-ring suburb on the city border, and live in the village of Depew now, which actually lies within the towns of Cheektowaga and Lancaster (I know Kåre Enga in Udon Thani  knows where I'm coming from). Cheektowaga has probably the area's largest mall, and it occured to me yesterday, the mall serves as an unofficial border, or more appropriately, a barrier. I live on the #6 bus route. It covers Broadway Ave. from the village of Lancaster (yes, Lancaster has both a town and a village), through Cheektowaga, straight to downtown Buffalo with a detour to the train station and the mall. It pains me to say this and I'm pretty sure I've touched on this before, so smack me if you've heard this before. Segregation is alive and well in Western New York (and if it's happening here, it's gotta be happening in a lot of other places too). The biggest example here has got to be the #6 bus to the mall. Outbound (coming from the city), all the black kids get off at the mall and all the white folk get on to go to Depew and Lancaster. And inbound, the whites get off at the mall and the black kids board the bus to go back to the city. I see this every time I go to the mall. Why is that? Is living in the city so deplorable for white people? Is the economy so bad that black people can't or won't get out of the city? The area is so stagnant, the divides so deep. It's a terrible reality. I have to reiterate, I am not racist. I don't look at people and think "black" or "Korean" or "Jewish" or "illiterate" or "lesbian" or "fat" or "depressed". I look at you and say "human". That said, what is the black mayor of Buffalo, the black governor of New York, or the white president of the United States doing to promote racial unity? I see no proof. It's sad to think that while yes, it was a whole lot worse in the '50's and '60's, my potential children are basically going to grow up in the same world I grew up in. White leaders don't see the problem, and black leaders don't get the support they need. Changes need to be made, but no one knows how. I read the other day in chicochica 's blog about how technology has changed and developed since we were kids and what neat things are going to be around when her kids get older. Perhaps they'll invent a way to ensure that the world is 100% racially and religiously harmonius, and there's a cease in all forms of bigotry across the board (in regards to race, gender, religion, sexual preference, etc). I know...if you're going to dream, dream big. One for the road...the video looks like it was transferred from an old VHS-C camera, but the song is phenomenal... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJW_Vq-SE_0  |
| I'm just saying goodnight. Something to do when you're smoking that last late-nite cigarette. May as well scare you off now. Tomorrow's entry will consist of the new Atmosphere cd, my failures in life, the bitters I have in this community, and racial apathathy. The only race I run in is the human one. |
| On any given day, I am one of two things: wildly outgoing, or extremely introverted. More often than not, I'm a walking hermit. If I want to talk to a random stranger, I will. But I generally keep to myself. Don't bother me and I won't bother you. Clue number one that I wish to be avoided on certain days: once I feel the conversation has reached the end-point and I've walked away (and I'm a pretty good judge of that), that's your cue to stop talking. Some people get it. And some are too busy flapping their gums to notice I've begun the tune-out process. And clue number two that reeks of "I don't wanna hear it today" sentiments: when I've got my headphones on, I'm probably not interested in your world-view. Selfish? Yes. But it's my time. Clue number three, you'd think would be a given. Surprisingly enough, it's not and that's what irritates me the most. My face is buried in the newspaper, there's a sandwich in my hand and my mouth's full of yummy tasty goodness. Nothing about this picture should lend anyone to thinking that I care about what's on their mind. Where people sit in restaurants often affects where I sit. I will attempt to sit somewhere where I won't be making eye-contact with anyone more than I have to, while also being able to keep an eye on the door. I know, it's weird, but you'll have that. So here's where my day gets off to a less than stellar start. The Deli is uncommonly busy today (business has been picking up, which is good and I don't mind the wait there). One of the creepy library regulars walks in. I keep to myself at the library more often than not; these people don't really excite me. And I've seen this guy often enough to know that I'm not too interested in much of what he has to say. My mistake was not having my headphones on. But I wanted to be sure I could hear when the shopkeep was ready to take my order. I kept one ear to the music and one to my surroundings. Sure enough, dude approaches me. Ugh. And not even with a hello or anything. Big, big turn-off. "So, ever notice how the regulars at the library never really talk to one another or say hi?" Homes, do you even realize what you just said? Did you hear the words that just came out of your mouth? I tell him straight up, I prefer to keep to myself when I'm there. Chances are I'm busy anyway. He goes on, changing the subject a few times. And every answer I give him seems to take him onto another tangent. After five minutes I know more about this man than I care to...political leanings, his disability (a reaction to a prescription gave him a seizure), how he gets by...personal details. Some days I might be up for it. Today, no. When I go out to eat, I want to read the paper and enjoy my lunch in peace. I place my order, sit down, eat my soup and crack the paper open. With my head very much directly, intently, pointed in the newspaper's crease. And sure enough, this cat sits across from me at another table. Keeps asking me questions. Won't shut the fuck up, and doesn't get the hint that I don't want to talk to him. He even offers me a cd of an audio journal he kept while studying in Prague. Ugh. It might be interesting. Then again, little more of this guy is interesting. I'm cursing the fact that I'm a ridiculously slow eater. Then he gets up and starts wandering around outside. Great. There goes my hope that he's a faster eater than I. He comes back, finishes up, rattles off a few more questions about the New York government, and I feign ignorancy...if he'd word the questions in such a way that weren't as if he were expecting a certain answer, I might engage him. But I'm clearly giving off the scent of "I want no part of it". I'm an anti-social prick. Finally, he leaves. I get to enjoy what little of my sandwich remains in peace. I really don't hate people. Sometimes I just want to be left the fuck alone. Is that so wrong? I didn't pay $7 for my soup and sandwich to also get the Spanish Inquisition from a random stranger. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMlPVpXtkJY Needed a little chuckle. There it is. Enjoy your lunches peacefully folks. |
Special shouts to Julie D - PUBLISHED! and In Your Dirtiest Pants for plugging me yesterday...go read their blogs if you haven't already (but only after you've read mine first ).And Julie, thanks especially for reminding me how bad the 80's were. Some of you weren't old enough to remember them. Consider yourselves lucky. Speaking of the 80's, was flipping through my cd's and realized I'd totally forgotten how badass cool this song was back in the day. I'll give ya the censored version. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljB4kYSnxHQ Anyone know where I can get a Public Enemy t-shirt like the one Scott Ian is wearing? That'd be sweet. And no, this song is not about my ego getting out of control .More plugs: larsony_1 has a new poem, "Invalid Item" . Check it out. Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm has a new quiz, "Invalid Item" with big prizes. Atmosphere's new cd comes out today! "When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold."Anybody ever take a look at their past entries? I was just looking over some older ones earlier. Kinda interesting, the things you thought you were thinking that day. Just sayin'. Slow day today, can't ya tell? I think I need to get me a Mountain Dew. Hope everyone's having a fantastic day!  |
| These computers in the library are really pissing me off. It's taken me a half hour just to send one freakin stinkin email. My phone is processing my blog and that of everyone else's so much faster. So much for the fancy new computers. The effing dvd/cdrw drives aren't even functional!! WTF!! I suppose I shouldn't be bitching about contests and stuff. I forget that when I used to win contests regularly, this place was called stories.com and there weren't so many members. I did manage to take first place in "Invalid Item" , although it's not really a writing contest per se. Still, I won. So take that. I'm hesitant to type anything more, because I'm just amazed that this screen even opened. But the new pizza place down the street from me is pretty decent. Good prices but small slices. Hope it stays open...but they're really in a lousy location (it's probably been 10 different pizza places in the last 15 years, but it's Buffalo...there's pizza places on every other block). Alright this computer's driving me batshit. I've switched twice already and it's really harshening any bit of good mood I had earlier. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_SxkEisG7c |
| "Slow and low, that is the tempo" "I got the skills to pay the bills" "I'm tired of driving, it's due time that I walk about" This always puts me in a good mood. Not that I need the help today. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBZYBL0KYdI But I think I needed to hear it one more time. Slow and low...the tempo of my day. Not much going on. Saw some people I really didn't care to, but it's cool. Remember cute Rite-Aid girl? Saw her today on my way to the library, walking on the other side of the street. She waved. Shoulda engaged her in conversation. She looked good. I didn't do a damn thing but cutely wave back. C'est la vie. (and I don't remember what that means, but I know the feeling of it is fitting) I have to get this out of the way as the storm clouds roll in and the wind kicks up...I forgot how good this cd is and I only pull it out around the same time of the year when the weather breaks. A seasonal listen, if you will...just like early REM sounds better in the fall... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0y5UeiRQiBs The song just reminds me of good spring times and warm weather. Loud, noisy, melodic and controlled spasms. Just like me . |
| I so want to read this book. But I can't. The Sound And The Fury by William Faulkner. Too many names/characters right off the bat. Bad punctuation. Indentations at the weirdest times. N-bombs dropped whenever. It's like reading me without the racial undertones. Unsettling and unable to be kept up with. I can't get into it. Help me! I was told I'd like it! Ashley, if you want this I'll pass it along. Considered buying a 2nd copy (at 50 cents) just to mail it to ya. But it's that bad. At least to me. In other news...I entered poetry 2 contests lately, and I don't have much of a chance in either one. G's contest, with "Lincoln Penny" . I apologize at this moment for not being astute enough for having the links to these contests. But her review was honest and beautiful. She got it. Now if only I could get her into some of what I listen to!  Then there's Sensual Roses' prompt contest. "Sand and Water" which got me a nice review and praise for the free verse, but knocked for choppiness. Lauded as a potential for lyrics, but smacked for not being singable (to an extent). Ummm, it's free verse...don't front on me and tell me what I already know. Maybe free verse isn't as free as it used to be. Peace homies, and to Faulkner. |
| Pops called me up last night to see if I was gonna be around today. He was finally gonna stop by and pick up the end table/cabinet-y kinda thing I've been waiting to give him. Finally that thing is out of my living room . Not so fast. If it were that easy, I wouldn't be sitting here. Obstacle 1: The upstairs neighbor's car is in the driveway. Not a big deal...there's enough room to get past it if we lift it, and it's not that heavy. If I thought it would've been a problem, I would've asked the neighbors to move it. But why bother them if we can get by? Problem solved. Obstacle 2: Why Dad Why? Dad drives a Kia Sephia. Decent little car. Decent little car  . Why not bring my uncle's pick up truck? That would've been too easy. Still, dad's convinced we can get it in the back seat. But this piece of furniture is big. And square. And no. Obstacle 3: The front seat is bigger and opens wider anyway Dad. I've moved enough tv's into cars. I know this. So I push the seat back and recline it. And Dad's banging away with this thing. Angle it! Angle it! Amazingly, the large-object-in-a-small-car concept isn't working out very well so far. Obstacle 4: We were hoping to avoid the trunk. Dad's got a bad back and don't want him to have to bend and pull this thing out of the trunk. Turns out I have nothing to worry about, because the trunk opening is about the size of a mailbox...not the whole mailbox, but the drawer where you deposit your mail. It rested comfortably, with about 95% of the cabinet OUTSIDE the trunk. Even if we bungeed the hell out of it and secured it the best we could, I'd have trouble trusting him taking it down the block, let alone the 20 minute thruway ride home. I can just see him navigating the curves on the 198 at 50-60mph. Tomorrow's headline: "Elderly Woman Killed In Freak Collision With End Table On Rte. 198." Plus, one never really gets the sense of passenger comfort when Dad's behind the wheel, if ya know what I mean .So I'm stuck with this thing in my living room again for another week. At least. He wants to try again next saturday, this time with the pick up truck. But I've got plans next saturday...we'll see . Now remember, we tried 2 doors and the trunk, trying every possible angle. I'm sure we dinged it once or twice. So we're standing there, and what does he tell me? "I'm having my mechanic look for a truck for me, so when I get one I'll give you this car." I might not've tried so hard to get the furniture in there then! Still, it's a free car. Can't complain. It's a little beat up, has a lot of miles on it, but it runs and is in otherwise decent shape. Except for the hood, which is dented like mad, thanks to whatever my dad hit with it. What did I say about passenger comfort?  Today is National Indie Record Store Awareness Day! I know! In honor, this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HULj4OyA73g and a little something for my spanish friends (we gotta show them a little amor too!): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJSmGMi6keo For English, press or say "English": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVv5sIY57TA&feature=related Have a great day! |
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