This had some really cute parts in it. i like the voice you use in it -- very natual.
We are only 15 minutes into the - i would write out fifteen.
I think it would visually and with readiblity hlep if you broke the paragraph up. It would hlep the reader - you could do it when you say the parts about back to the mission, etc.
Hi! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled across it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it. This is your baby to raise. My opinion is offered with respect and the best intentions.
Overall Impression:
The description and emotion in this piece is gripping. I could feel the coolness of the glass of the window before you even said the words, that is how well you brought me into the scene.
Improvement Areas:
Grammar/Spelling:
My Favorite Part:
I get the feeling that at the end you recognize that sometimes are imagination can be more fulfulling than what is truly there.
Wonderfully written. Suggestions:
Thank you for sharing your writing. I'm always amazed at the talent on this site! Audra
Hi! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled across it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it. This is your baby to raise. My opinion is offered with respect and the best intentions.
Overall Impression:
This is a gem - I love how your words and tone can always take me to another place even when my 12 year old is playing rock band as loud as possible.
another talent you have is making me like genres that i'm not usually fond of. I think it's the humor you put in them.
Improvement Areas:
Grammar/Spelling:
spending most of his thirty seven years behind - i would hyphenate thirty-seven - but it's really no biggie
My Favorite Part:
I can't pick out a favorite - i laughed at so many of the little one liners you smoothly slide in there. -- they are so unexpected and priceless.
Suggestions:
Thank you for sharing your writing. I'm always amazed at the talent on this site! Audra
Hi! I'm reviewing this on behalf Images In Ink Fan Club. Congratulations on your recent nomination to "The Robert Frost Package for you, which includes a total of 9 reviews!! I'm ecstatic you were chosen for this honor.
Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it. This is your baby to raise. My opinion is offered with respect and the best intentions.
Overall Impression:
I remember this prompt well -- you've taken such a fun take on it -- almost makes me embarrassed for being so evil in mine. lol
The rhyme and originiality is excellent. Improvement Areas:
Grammar/Spelling:
My Favorite Part:
I love the ending - i did literally laugh out loud.
Hi! I'm reviewing this on behalf Images In Ink Fan Club. Congratulations on your recent nomination to "The Ink Blot Author Fan Club". Your fan, drjim, has requested the Robert Frost Package for you, which includes a total of 9 reviews!! I'm ecstatic you were chosen for this honor.
Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it. This is your baby to raise. My opinion is offered with respect and the best intentions.
Overall Impression:
This is exactly what flash fiction should be in my book. It is intriguing and complete. It takes you to another place briefly.
Improvement Areas:
He said a young woman who had congenital heart disease received Hannah's heart and is recovering - i would use "was" instead of "is" to keep the tense consistent.
Grammar/Spelling:
Hannah so loved life, therefore, there is an extra space before so
only did I lose my wife; I was told by the doctors that my daughter may - semicolon should be a colon
Audrey in a special home for autistic children, - extra space before special
My Favorite Part:
I love the twist at the end. It is almost a karma thing -- it is simply beautiful.
Hi! I'm reviewing this on behalf Images In Ink Fan Club. Congratulations on your recent nomination to "The Ink Blot Author Fan Club". Your fan, , has requested the Poe Package for you, which includes a total of 9 reviews!! I'm ecstatic you were chosen for this honor.
Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it. This is your baby to raise. My opinion is offered with respect and the best intentions.
Overall Impression:
This is a very inspiring poem about all that is available to us. It demonstrates great faith and wisdom.
My Favorite Part:
I love how you address that fear need not be in our lives because everything has been taken care of. This is especially wonderful to read around our current Easter season.
Hi! I'm reviewing this on behalf Images In Ink Fan Club. Congratulations on your recent nomination to "The Ink Blot Author Fan Club". Your fan, Stephanie Grace, has requested the Poe Package for you, which includes a total of 9 reviews!! I'm ecstatic you were chosen for this honor.
Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it. This is your baby to raise. My opinion is offered with respect and the best intentions.
Overall Impression:
I love the beauty of this piece both through the words and the visual of the sigs mixed with it.
Improvement Areas:
Grammar/Spelling:
She instills peace to the brokenhearted;
love to a world filled with despair - in my opinion, this should be a comma instead of a semicolon.
My Favorite Part:
The last stanza is my favorite - it offers hope against great obstacles. -
because of her propensity for smart-ass answers - i love this!!!
In fact, I love all of this - i'm laughing and i haven't even gotten to number 1 -- my students make fun of a teacher that talks in third person so when you wrote that you hate that too i had to laugh.
15. I’m a perfect size 6, but I keep it covered in a layer of fat so it won’t get scratched. - awesome!
Kay, I loved this -- you gave me a true laugh today - - I happen to be a sarcastic lover - it was a survival tool growing up .
This was terrible sad and disturbing but very well written. You immeditately grabbed my attention.
On police siren - you have an apostrophe - i don't think it needs one - police isn't owning siren it's used as an adjective to describe what kind of siren.
A mother sacrificing her son is beyond my comprehension; it gives me chills. Which i'm sure is the intent.
Hi! I'm reviewing this on behalf Images In Ink Fan Club. Congratulations on your recent nomination to "The Ink Blot Author Fan Club". Your fan, Broken Heart Poetry and stacylynn71 has requested the EBB Package for you, which includes a total of 9 reviews!! I'm ecstatic you were chosen for this honor.
Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it. This is your baby to raise. My opinion is offered with respect and the best intentions.
Overall Impression:
First off, that sig is beyond freaky and hilarious. Immediately, I was like, "Oh my, hunter is at it again."
I always appreciate that I learn some vocabulary when I read your work. I like being entertained and educated at once.
Improvement Areas:
Grammar/Spelling:
An pious old cleric An/A
My Favorite Part:
The ending was hilarious of course! A nice touch and visual.
Hi! I'm reviewing this on behalf Images In Ink Fan Club. Congratulations on your recent nomination to "The Ink Blot Author Fan Club". Your fan requested the Sylvia Plath Package for you, which includes a total of 9 reviews!! I'm ecstatic you were chosen for this honor.
Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it. This is your baby to raise. My opinion is offered with respect and the best intentions.
Overall Impression:
This is adorable! I can't wait until my nephews wake up so i can read it to them. You are very imaginative and use such a great and appropriate vocabulary for kids.
Improvement Areas:
Grammar/Spelling:
way home the only one who payed any attention to - payed/paid
My Favorite Part:
The visual of tears running down the fuzzy face was descriptive and touching in a very subtle way.
Hi! I'm reviewing this on behalf Images In Ink Fan Club. Congratulations on your recent nomination to "The Ink Blot Author Fan Club". Your fan requested the Sylvia Plath Package for you, which includes a total of 9 reviews!! I'm ecstatic you were chosen for this honor.
Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it. This is your baby to raise. My opinion is offered with respect and the best intentions.
Overall Impression:
Great introductory stanza - i was smiling right away.
This is soooooooo cute. I can actually seeing a child thinking these things. You've really put yourself in the child's position and mind set.
Improvement Areas:
Grammar/Spelling:
My Favorite Part:
The end! I hate spiders - squish him, squish him!
The rhyme and rhythm is also flawless. It reads very smoothly.
Hi! I'm reviewing this on behalf Images In Ink Fan Club. Congratulations on your recent nomination to "The Ink Blot Author Fan Club". Your fan requested the Sylvia Plath Package for you, which includes a total of 9 reviews!! I'm ecstatic you were chosen for this honor.
Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it. This is your baby to raise. My opinion is offered with respect and the best intentions.
Overall Impression:
This is an interesting story and creative look at technology.
Improvement Areas:
This is a cute story. I think with a good edit it would be a homerun!
Grammar/Spelling:
“Food.” He said to it. "Food," he said to it.
SANDWICH YOU MORNONIC PIECE OF s***!” moronic
My Favorite Part:
The part about the toilet made me laugh out loud. It was inventive and visual - I could see the frustration in the man.
Hi! I'm reviewing this on behalf Images In Ink Fan Club. Congratulations on your recent nomination to "The Ink Blot Author Fan Club". Your fan requested the Sylvia Plath Package for you, which includes a total of 9 reviews!! I'm ecstatic you were chosen for this honor.
Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it. This is your baby to raise. My opinion is offered with respect and the best intentions.
Overall Impression:
This is a subject which I'm sure many have struggled with. I've had kids in my classes tell me they learn more life skills from Sims than by their studies.
Improvement Areas:
I got a little lost in the whole mommy thing. Perhaps a little more background would clear that up.
Grammar/Spelling:
and you actually seem them date and things like that but I digress. - seem/see
teachers life is that she gets paid decent and even the possibility - teacher's life
Letting all of these people down is unfair on them and that - i would use to instead of on
My Favorite Part:
Your concluding paragraph was honest and well written.
Hi! I'm reviewing this on behalf Images In Ink Fan Club. Congratulations on your recent nomination to "The Ink Blot Author Fan Club". Your fan, Images in Ink, has requested the Poe Package for your, which includes a total of 9 reviews!! I'm ecstatic you were chosen for this honor.
Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it. This is your baby to raise. My opinion is offered with respect and the best intentions.
Overall Impression:
Great story with a twist I wasn't expecting. The characters of the man and woman were unique and I enjoyed the different portrayal of "good and evil."
Improvement Areas:
Grammar/Spelling:
small bills had been spent at the dinner - I think you mean diner instead of dinner
My Favorite Part:
hunched his shoulders, ducked his head and began to soldier his way towards the station - This was very visual not only in description but in action.
Suggestions:
YOu have this in the "other" section - I would move it to short story.
Hi! I'm reviewing this on behalf Images In Ink Fan Club. Congratulations on your recent nomination to "The Ink Blot Author Fan Club". Your fan has requested the Sylvia Plath Package for your, which includes a total of 9 reviews!! I'm ecstatic you were chosen for this honor.
Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it. This is your baby to raise. My opinion is offered with respect and the best intentions.
Overall Impression:
I love your first line - priceless.
Excellent first goal -- one i need to consider for myself
You have some great similies and metaphors that illustrate your points wonderfully.
Improvement Areas:
Grammar/Spelling:
My Favorite Part:
Such a personal piece. I think what i like most about it is though it is personal it spoke to me as well, and provided inspiration and truths that are hard to admit at times.
"You're CRAZY!", - "You're CRAZY!" Jed yelled (no comma since you already have the exclamation point)
Wow this is really kind of scary, and yet true to life - not only in regard to the economy but to teenagers' attitudes and thoughts.
I know this is a flash fiction piece, but i would love fo see an expansion of it. I think it could make a great full story. You've really peaked my interest.
Hi! I'm reviewing this on behalf Images In Ink Fan Club. Congratulations on your recent nomination to "The Ink Blot Author Fan Club". Your fan has requested the EBB Package for your, which includes a total of 9 reviews!! I'm ecstatic you were chosen for this honor.
Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it. This is your baby to raise. My opinion is offered with respect and the best intentions.
Overall Impression:
Delightfully demented. However, I think I'll read itnext time when I"m not eating, but I should have known better. lol.
I really like your timing with this piece. It builds smooth and steady, kind of like taking step by step somewhere you are scared to go to.
Improvement Areas:
Grammar/Spelling:
My Favorite Part:
I feel maggots kiss me tenderly.
Their cool lust touches my flesh. - makes me want to turn away and keep reading all at the same time.
As a teacher I wish I could get this poems feelsings through to my students. But yet, I remember being a teen and the feeling of "all the time in the world'. Your writing takes me back there and to the moments when i thing of what ifs.
You might want to check this : dependants may = I thought it was dependents but i could be wrong.
Hi! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled across it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it. This is your baby to raise. My opinion is offered with respect and the best intentions.
Overall Impression:
Another great poem! I could truly feel this from the heart. It is so relatable too. Who hasn't sought proof or reassurance at one time or another? You have voiced it poignantly.
Improvement Areas:
none
Grammar/Spelling:
nada
My Favorite Part:
let me see inside my heart,
an ending to this pain. - this is so raw and true. I could feel the need to relieve the pain and replace it with strong faith and love. This really moved me.
Suggestions:
Thank you for sharing your writing. I'm always amazed at the talent on this site! Audra
Hi! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled across it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it. This is your baby to raise. My opinion is offered with respect and the best intentions.
Overall Impression:
I have to say after reading two of your poems, that I can tell you have a talent for rhyme. It seems effortless in your writing.
The topic - you painted a very viivd, and sadly realistic picture. I feel the strength in this piece and I think it is inspiring for embracing the differences we all possess.
Improvement Areas:
Grammar/Spelling:
My Favorite Part:
I have to say my favorite part is just the message. One thing it did make me think of, is how sometimes differences are celebrated but others they are scorned. He gets to make this distinction? Oops, I'm rambliing.
It was a well-expressed and important writing. Suggestions:
Thank you for sharing your writing. I'm always amazed at the talent on this site! Audra
Hi! I'm reviewing this on behalf Images In Ink Fan Club. Congratulations on your recent nomination to "The Ink Blot Author Fan Club". Your fan, stacylynn1, has requested the Maya Angelou Package for your, which includes a total of 9 reviews!! I'm ecstatic you were chosen for this honor.
Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it. This is your baby to raise. My opinion is offered with respect and the best intentions.
Overall Impression:
I had to check this out as it is currently my favorite form of poetry to write. You've done it wonderfully, as I knew you would. I"ve loved the story you've told. It was enchanting and entertaining.
Improvement Areas:
Grammar/Spelling:
My Favorite Part:
Eyes filled with mirth watched him from the shadows.
Fingers tapped restlessly upon gossamer wings as she - i thougt the description and word choice here really gave the piece a mythical type feel.
The alternating colors was a great idea - very effective.
Suggestions:
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