Overall impression: Wonderful! I love the country girl's view on life. I didn't grow up in the country but I lived in Detoit until I was 17 and ran away to the country and love it so much.
Senses: You showed the senses in all ways. I could smell the city and the country...good job.
Emotion: Great!
Grammer: Good job!
I am not an expert so please don't be upset if your review is not as suspected. Grammer is hard for me, too. I've been out of school for awhile.
Be Diane..just trying to be me. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Wonderful, Sophie! I also loved your writing in the Spirituality letter. I've canoed quite a bit in my life and really miss it since my husband has become disabled but you brought it all back to me especially your discriptions of nature and the river. I remember when I first started and my husband told me the most valuable lesson: When you see a rock in the river you cannot paddle on the side the rock is on so you take your paddle, put it on the other side of the canoe and pull the paddle towards you. What a spiritual awakening I had at that moment when I read your article and remembered that vaulable tip, so in life when graced with an obstacle pull your strengh from the other side in order to gear yourself away from the rock to the right of you. Without your article I wouldn't have remembered that nor would I have been able to share this with you. Good job!
I plan to get the book you memtioned, Spiritual Literacy, have you ever read "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron? It's really good as well. I used to work in a wonderful, spiritual place, Camp McDowell, an Episcopal Camp and Conference Center. Many things happened and I had to leave my job. I miss the spirituality from the camp and it's positive people.
Overall impression: Really wonderful because in all of us, if no one lies, there is a past you don't want to remember and it does catch up with us all. Good job. The poetry is intense.
Senses: Great! I found it loaded with pain and hurt. Red blood and a past that can not heal.
Emotion: Full of what life is about.
Grammer: Good.
I am not an expert so please don't be upset if your review is not as suspected. Grammer is hard for me, too. I've been out of school for awhile.
Be Diane..just trying to be me. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Overall impression: I liked it and I know that it is needed in this day and time. I used to think Yoga was bull until I did it and hey, it really does take some energy to know how to relax but once you do it feels great.
Senses: I thought we could have felt more of how we feel as we go to the relax state of mind.
Emotion: Very good on what's included in the poem. I felt more like it was just an essay but lacking more words on how to relax. I would think if you turned it around into an essay it would do really good.
Grammer: Fine.
I am not an expert so please don't be upset if your review is not as suspected. Grammer is hard for me, too. I've been out of school for awhile.
Be Diane..just trying to be me. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
This has got to be the best idea I've ever seen at writing.com. I compare it to real butter with freshly made hot bread. There are so many of us on here where life has dealt us a hand with little money. I had to leave my job because my husband had a near fatal accident. How could I have known that such a horrible thing could produce a person who finally has the time to write?
Thanks and here are some GP's to get the ball rollin' in this here contest! LOL
Diane
Overall impression: I don't usually like fantasy but I really enjoyed reading this because I guess I never left the fantasy of childhood. I enjoyed the story also because it had my favorite, a dog, featured in the story! Good job.
Senses: I felt the thrill of the unknown in your story. I always have my senses up and aware in the forest!
Emotion: Powerful for a fantasy story especially the sword fight at the beginning.
Grammer: Didn't se any mistakes!
I am not an expert so please don't be upset if your review is not as suspected. Grammer is hard for me, too. I've been out of school for awhile.
Be Diane..just trying to be me. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Overall impression: I was very surprised at my reaction to this short story. I don't really care for ghost stories but I really loved this. It read really well and was great.
Senses: It appealed to me and gave me a reason to read different genres' instead of staying within the same box.
Emotion: A non-scary feeling but still a feeling of the ghostly presence always brings about something non familiar.
Grammer: I saw no mistakes.
I am not an expert so please don't be upset if your review is not as suspected. Grammer is hard for me, too. I've been out of school for awhile.
Be Diane..just trying to be me. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Overall impression: I loved it and how many of us long to go back. I read something one time in the interview with God and God says, "Why do children spend all their time wanting to grow up and adults spend all their time wanting to be children. You really pushed your point and for that you are to be commended.
Senses: I felt your feelings in your poem. excellent!
Emotion: Full and brimming over!
Grammer: Good.
I am not an expert so please don't be upset if your review is not as suspected. Grammer is hard for me, too. I've been out of school for awhile.
Be Diane..just trying to be me. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Is there some days when all you want to do is to review instead of write? When your heart and will seems so broken down all you want to do is read what someone else has written and just take a break from it all? When you are reading for enjoyment Joyce Myers book on addiction because you want people to like you? Or Gas Light Effect that causes people that you love to do a number on your head? That's where I'm at and it isn't a good place to be because I am not creating. I'm just standing still waiting for the bomb to hit just like the poor people in the other countries facing death straight in the eye. We need to pray for them all. Our needs are so low compaired to theirs; we live in a free country where you can have as many children as you would like, in China, only one? We take our freedom forgranted as we do many sunshining days. Let's gather together as a community and try to enjoy every moment.
Diane
Overall impression: Wonderful poem wrote in just the right way that a Dad should feel about his precious daughter. Dad and daughter are hard relationships and it looks like yours was a great one.
Senses: I felt and sensed everything going on in your mind.
Emotion: Full! It was beyond emotion just touched me deep in my heart.
Grammer: Great!
I am not an expert so please don't be upset if your review is not as suspected. Grammer is hard for me, too. I've been out of school for awhile.
Be Diane..just trying to be me. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Overall impression: A wonderful read. It brought me into the story wanting him to get adopted as well as me. Recently my Aunt passed away and Donnie was like a brother to me. He was passed illgely from home to home so he stayed the longest with my Aunt and Uncle. It would have really made a difference in her life if they could have gotten together. So my heart is so with the orphan.
Senses: It hit the senses so well. I even smelled the cologne he smelled at one time.
Emotion: So many emotions stirring within me. I remember children waiting for their own parents to come and pick them up so sad.
Grammer: I saw no mistakes!
I am not an expert so please don't be upset if your review is not as suspected. Grammer is hard for me, too. I've been out of school for awhile.
Be Diane..just trying to be me. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Overall impression:It was great as a love poem to a person romantically. There is more to love as you have shown than to just say the words.
Senses: You really impressed me with this poem in using feeling the breath of the person who gives us the words we long to hear.
Emotion: I felt it to the coar of my being but I really want to hear those words from my other loved ones too. My Mom hasn't come out and said I love you. I'm 53 but I always tell my children I love them.
Grammer: I don't grade in poetry because I think it is what a person feels not something that should be torn apart for grammer.
I am not an expert so please don't be upset if your review is not as suspected. Grammer is hard for me, too. I've been out of school for awhile. Do know I wear my heart on my shoulders so what I write is what is the truth to me.
Be Diane..just trying to be me. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
CountryMom, I always seem drawn back to you in my 3 years on writing.com and I am always amazed at the simplicity of your writing that touches my heart on a level I sometimes don't understand. You have painted a picture of your home with words that spar at my senses. It is something my grandmother would have said about her little home in the south. She would always talk about it when we lived in the north and I was determined one day I would bring her back to it, kind of like the movie, "Trip to the Bountiful." What a wonderful film that was and you need to watch it if you haven't already.
Thanks again for sharing your writing which so clearly reflects the person and the writer in you.
Diane
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This is a wonderful way of allowing people to express their need for prayer in private. The truly awesome prayers are in the cloest where no one knows them and they are alie and doing well in there...annointed with oil, prayer, and thanksgiving.
May God bless you and I would like to join your group also.
A great story. It took me back to a good, simple time when I visited the south in the summer. Being from Detroit I felt all the south did was take part in primitive ways that would eventually get you killed or at least very scared up. You put me right in the moment, the place, very real and uplifting, right down to the part where you thought eventually Lauren would tell on you because she had a sixth sense that you others didn't have; probably from going down too many hills!!
What a wonderful tribute to someone that was loved so much. You did a great job in potraying the love between a man and a woman. I love the saying that ya'll were broke but never poor. There is sure a difference. Is this based on a personal experience? It's just a beautiful poem. Keep writing...Diane
What attracted me to the piece: I saw your port on the testimony board. I read it nearly everytime and sometimes I am just drawn in by what is written.
What impressed me the most: I think everyone of us has endured family reunions. They are nice but like the poem shows, not tells, there are other thoughts behind the scene. The good part is that you don't tell you show. That shows your true ability as a writer. showing not just telling your story or poem.
How about grammer: Look good to me!
Overall: Keep writing! Diane
Each new day is a blank page in the diary of your life. The secret of success if in turning that diary into the best story you possibly can.” Douglas Pagels
What attracted me to the piece: I think I am always drawed toward a story about Mama. I have always loved old movies like "I Remember Mama," and others along that line.
What impressed me the most: The details. You did an excellent job with everything. The only sense left out was the sense of smell. I didn't mind though because the story was so good.
How about grammer: I saw no mistakes.
Overall: Keep writing!
Each new day is a blank page in the diary of your life. The secret of success if in turning that diary into the best story you possibly can.” Douglas Pagels
You did a good job in expressing your feelings toward the child who died of SIDS. I did a poem: Adam in remembrence of my friend's son who died of SIDS. It's such a hard thing to understand and I don't feel like we can understand. Maybe some things are not for us to understand. Only one thing on grammer; remember always to captilize Him, He, ect. if it is referring to the Lord.
Diane
Keep writing
Wonderful essay because it speaks from your heart and mine. If you hadn't of wrote that article soon I would have wrote it wyself because it is the way I think. Well, sounds good to me for preaching to people who think we are all praying to someone different. I've always thought the same thing. We are all a part of something really big! I think one day we will find out how close we are; like my daughter who was in a beauty pageant when she was in the 2nd grade. She was talking to a black girl; the only one in the contest. Kim came up to me and wanted to let me know her palms were the same. I told her our hearts were too.
Keep writing..you are good!
Diane
I was really caught up in this article but I was expecting more. I didn't see any of the title or rather phrase in there: He that cheats me once, shame on you. He that cheats me twice, shame on me. It did make me feel good in the first 2 paragraphs that I did at an early age tell my daughter that fairy tales were just that: Fairy Tales. I did make her youth in college rotten because of men. A little work on bringing this article all together and it would be perfect.
Thanks,
Diane
Overall impression of the writing: Wonderful content. I can see the love of your Father in the poem. You are very lucky to have had a father who meant so much.
Grammar: Not sure on the word chose
What I liked best about the piece: The fact that it felt so real.
Improvements: I would put a little more detail in the poem; showing what made you so close. Was you his little girl? Did he take you places? Something along those lines.
Remember what my English 101 instructor said, "Writing is about rewriting, rewriting, and more rewriting. Also, I know students in medical school who can't spell. You have an editor when you get to be a big time writer!"
I love it!~ I thought I was the only one in the whole wide world who has a love for pencils and pens. When they begin to fail me I hold it personal. How could they do this to me after I have been so kind. When I worked I went around and stole my pencils back before anyone came into the office. They were mine. Another thing is the fact that most did not like my pen because they smeared.
Anyone who loves, pen, pencils, and paper should be separtate from the norm because they most certaly are artist, one who writes or more.
Good job!
Di
Oh, so right. It's ashame that we don't find out until we are at the breakfast table we find out we didn't lock the door the night before. At least our children know we loved each other at one time, before we were married for 30 years and just look back at the fun.
Diane
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Keep writing! Diane