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493 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Neva,

Love the new handle - Snow Vampire.

I picked your hallowe'en poem as my extra review for this week and I was not disappointed. It made me smile and appreciate the joy of this monthly season - Hallowe'en.
My favourite verses are the first three. They seem to flow as they tell their tale of the Great Zombie Pumpkin, but the last stanza does not flow as well. the first two lines do, but the last two don't make it for me. I am not sure what the issue is. I could just be me. There is just something that sets it apart. I keep wanting to read the 'very' as 'overly" which sounds better to me... but may not work with you syllable count.

I wish you all the best in the contest and wish you all the fun October has to offer - Spookilicious Delights.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of The Flip  
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Mastiff ,

I have the pleasure of reviewing your short story "The Flip as it falls before mine in the I Write in 2019 forum. I see you missed a week... no hard to do as I doubled up last week and have to fix it before the week ended. I think I am on track now... or so I hope.

Overall, your piece was intriguing. Definielty somehting different. The Title works well and the story's pace is well executed.

The main character finds himself 'flipped' into the bodies of younger people in the hopes of staying alive longer... given he has the money to do it.
At one point he is 'flipped' into someone with cancer and only a month to live. He has his manservant make another transfer for him... and this is where I got lost. I don't think this is the story confusing me, I think it is me getting lost as this is not a genre I would normally encounter. I think Clive, his manservant and Doc flip him and thin he has gone into a dying person, but in actuality he has shifted into a robot - no ore flips needed. Clive and the Doc expect to fool the main character, but in fact they are the ones fooled.

As I said, it is an intriguing story and it may be an excellent entry for this particular Twisted' contest. I wish you luck in the contest and look forward to reading more from you in the future.

Thanks for sharing. Happy Writing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
for entry "Wonder
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Tinker ,

I'm Carly - Prepping for NaNoWriMo . I am doing this review as part of WDC 19th Birthday Celebration and it is part of I Writer in 2019.

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 19th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*


It is important to remember that I am not a professional. I am simply one who wishes to learn and grow in my own poetic voice. To do that, I practice my own creations and review the creations of others so that my knowledge can be furthered. That said, I want you to consider my opinion as merely that... your poem is ultimately your creation. Please feel free to use or disregard my advice as you see fit.


Overall Impression:

Such a lovely poem to read on a night so much like the one you portray.
you employ alliteration - 'this evening's stillness Remnants of summer wane'

Form:

This is a free verse poem.

Techniques:

You employ enjambment to give the poem its flow from one line to the next.

Favourite Lines:

Where do I begin... I love the sensory aspects of this poem. The 'cricket serenade', 'cool fingers of air' 'skim my limbs'. I can see those brilliant constellations and it makes me want to breath in the cool, fresh clean air.
I see the plane and like how you included it by only calling it a 'string of blinking red and blue lights'.
I also love the contrast of 'staring in wonder' at the stars versus 'do they wonder who might be down here watching?'

Suggestions:

I see no grammar or spelling concerns.
I believe you have done a good job with your punctuation - though this is a weak area for me.

Additional Comments:

I like how you let the Poet's Place Discussion help you craft your poem and then you entered a contest. Well done. I wish you luck in the contest. It is a winning entry to me.

Thank you for sharing your poem. I enjoyed reading it. I look forward to reading more of your work. Do keep writing.



Sig for Poetic Exploration


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review of More poems...  
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Grieving_Girl ,

I'm Carly - Prepping for NaNoWriMo . I am doing this review as part of Writing.com (WDC) 19th Birthday Celebration and it is part of "Made My Prompt [E] - where we are asked to read and review some new members (Newbies) and welcome them to this wonderful site.

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 19th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*


It is important to remember that I am not a professional. I am simply one who wishes to learn and grow in my own poetic voice. To do that, I practice my own creations and review the creations of others so that my knowledge can be furthered. That said, I want you to consider my opinion as merely that... your poem is ultimately your creation. Please feel free to use or disregard my advice as you see fit.


Overall Impression:

Wow!! I can feel the rawness of your emotions and was compelled to do this review. You may be young, but your poem speaks with an old soul - one that is creatively talented and able to find just the right words to make connection to a far larger audience. Whoever this best friend is, he is the one who losses out. Your sensitive heart is born to write. s***ty experiences are the fodder of great poems and stories and though I would not wish anyone awful experiences, I see that you are able to turn your pain into poems that are rich and potent. The writing will help you heal. It is a lifeline that we writers are blessed to have in good times and in the more crumby ones. Hold on and write girl!

Form:

You use a free verse form to convey what your heart most wants... and needs to say.

Techniques:

You use enjambment to give the poem flow as it moves seemlessly from one line to the next.

Favourite Lines:

I love how you pull the word "Remember" in at the beginning of the second stanza and how it wraps around to close the same verse. Well done.
I may be far older than you, but this second verse calls to me... it echoes my own pain - though mine is from a divorce (after 16 years of marriage). Your words have the ability to connect to others, regardless of age. We all struggle and it is at least a comfort to know we are not alone in this suffering. Just know, it does get better... especially when we are able to connect with others.

Suggestions:

I see no spelling or grammar issues of concern.
What can I say... this poem is lovely in its anguish. I hope you can draw some healing from it.

Additional Comments:

Grade eight sucks. You are blessed to have writing as part of your arsenal - to heal you and to create such potent poems. This is partly why they say the pen is mightier than the sword. Stay with it, keep writing and you will find your way through the trials and tribulations of junior high and high school.

I also love your username - monarch.love. Your sentimental, but not puff pastry.

Stay true to yourself. You can get past this. I feel you pain, want to take it away, but I also know it will make you stronger in some way... not that you can see that right now, but eventually it will. Stay strong and definitely keep writing and sharing your work!

Thank you for sharing your poem! I am honoured to have read it. I really enjoyed reading it. I look forward to reading more of your work. Do keep writing.



Sig for Poetic Exploration


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Ji pronounced Jeye .
My name is Carly - Prepping for NaNoWriMo and I am doing this review on behalf of The When We are Nineteen contest {ritem: }.
I have just read short prose piece "The Feeling Of Freedom!, which I found when I went went looking for a Newbie to review and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
I love the contrast of the old life that was harsh and brutal and the new freedom. That freedom comes with hard work and many hours, but it is something that this young couple is willing to handle for each of them to have a better life. I felt the love and joy permeating through the piece.


Characters:
A tired mother, a sweet faced three year old and the woman's husband Dustin. The piece paints a picture of their new life in a way that is heart retching and heart warming at the same time.


Setting:
New York City. In a more working class neighbourhood that is a step up for this family new to America. I could see it.


Plot:
It was a small piece but it packed in a great deal. The plot contrasted the past and also the gratitude and love the family had for their new freedom and each other.


Favourite Part:
I loved the contrast from the character's old life to the new. Though I have never had to experience that sort of situation, I felt the character's emotions regarding her past and her gratitude for the freedom. One suggestion I would suggest is to break your paragraphs up so that contrast is made even more noticeable. Your description of those times is gripping... you should want to show it off.

Great description, particularly in the first sentence: "Rainbow colors blanket New York skies as purple, rose red, golden yellow pierce my tiring eyes."


Suggestions:
One thing I would suggest that would make the reader more likely to read your work is space the paragraphs out to that there is more white space. It is easier on the eyes. You have a great story here, but my poor eyes are getting older and finding crowded pieces a bit too much. Any longer and I might have passed by without experiencing the wonderful story you had to offer. *Bigsmile*

Not sure what "nappy headed baby girl" is.... a nappy to me is a diaper and I'd think you meant diaper headed. *Bigsmile* unless she's being silly. I do get a sense that she is a sweet, charming little cherub of a child... one who is dearly loved by her mother and father.


Additional Comments:
These character's are compelling. I would love a chance to read more... when and if you are willing to delve further into their story. Good luck in the contest.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of Attitude Changes  
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Mastiff .
My name is Carly - Prepping for NaNoWriMo and I am doing this review on behalf of "I Write In 2019 [E].
I have just read your short story "Attitude Changes, which I found when I posted my own entry in the I Write in 2019 forum and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
Interesting story. i found myself drawn in almost from the very beginning. At first I was a little daunted by the length of the piece, but once i got into it, the length din't continue to bother me.
I love the adventurous aspect of the story. I was as taken in as Ruby.


Characters:
Ruby and her benefactor, Thomas.
Ruby was well defined. I got a real sense of her life and the staleness of it.
The strange caller (Thomas) was a mystery and I found I was still curious about him at the end.


Setting:
Being stuck in a traffic jam during rush hour was described well. I felt the desolation Ruby felt as she went about her life.
I followed her along on her adventure and the pacing was handled smoothly.


Plot:
Interesting... having read the Show, Don't Tell guidelines:
Ruby is annoyed to be in stop-and-go rush hour traffic.
She angrily rejects a call--or calls--from an unknown number on her mobile phone.
A mysterious person in the vehicle in front of her holds up a sign that says, "Answer the phone."
The phone rings, Ruby answers, and her life forever changes.

I got the sense that you did the first and last aspects, but did not incorporate the two middle ones. I am not sure if they were required, but I did not miss them.
I think you handled the situation outlined for you with good pacing and I feel you did a good job showing and not telling the reader what was happening.

I just hope not including the middle two aspects doesn't compromise your chances for winning.

Favourite Part:
I liked that Ruby took a chance... at each and every choice point she considered and went for it. I applaud her.


Suggestions:
I only found two wee slip ups:
'wonderful jobs' I believe should be wonderful job.
'Pretty bad." She relied' - I think you meant replied.


Additional Comments:
I quite liked this story and I wish you luck in winning. I think is definitely a worthy, fun piece.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review of Lavender Lady  
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good morning ridinghhood--p. boutilier !

It's Carly - Prepping for NaNoWriMo and I am here to review your wonderful wee poem as it fall before mine in the I Write in 2019 forum.

I am not certain of what a "mgur" poem is, but I enjoyed it. Your little extra bit at the bottom had me checking out https://www.herbcrafterstarot.com/tarot-blog/air just to see if I could learn more. I've been interested in getting a deck of some cards. I used to have ones, but have misplaced them - though I am more interested in using them to inspire my writing... which is what I believe you have done here. Lovely.

I love the alliteration of "steamy, sensual scent" and the title "Lavender Lady".
I also like the image of "devour(ing) this luxury" and "cherishing present moments".

The overall feeling was one of peace and though I could not smell the lavender, I got the impact of the image that still hangs in my head like its own cherished memory.
Thank you for sharing this and I wish you luck in the contest.
Happy Writing!!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review of The Old Tower  
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi Mastiff ,

I have the pleasure of reviewing your short flash fiction piece as it comes before mine in the I Write in 2019 forum.
I was curious what the prompt was for this and had to do some checking to see it was an older entry. I found it - Prompt for 6/4 - Write a story that includes the words: law, rock, glass. All of those were used and integrated well into the piece, but I thought one of the rules is to highlight those words in some way.

Overall, it was a good wee story... but I was a little confused near the end... I am assuming the office worker was asking the boys not to piss down the pipe that is "cut off above my office" I think it would have been stronger to just leave that part out or say 'it runs into my office and leaves puddles.'

Beyond that i felt it was an interesting tale and worthy of a fun read.

Happy writing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review of Wheel of Fortune  
for entry "June 24, 2019
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi ridinghhood--p. boutilier ,

I am back to add another review to this because I watched a bit of the news last night and found out what you meant by kids in cages. No it makes more sense and I do really like what you managed to get across in your 22 syllables.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review of Wheel of Fortune  
for entry "June 24, 2019
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi ridinghhood--p. boutilier ,

It's Carly - Prepping for NaNoWriMo and I am having the pleasure of reviewing your 24 syllable poem because it comes before mine in the I Write In 2019 forum.

I am having a very dim day... I had to look up the word exurb... but then, I did know what paradigm is.

I did a quick check of syllable counts on https://syllablecounter.net/count and they only gave it 22 syllables. When I first counted out on my fingers I got 23. I have found the use of this syllable counter to be invaluable when it comes to this wonderful contest.

It all makes sense to me until the last line - "kids in cages". I am not up on american politics, but I know enough to dislike 'he who cannot be named' without gagging... So, being Canadian, I apologize for not getting it. Maybe when I am not so tired... but a little clarity for this poor soul would be kindness.

I like your use of the tarot cards. I am toying with the idea of buying some, since I can't find the set I bought years ago and have misplaced. I think they are excellent for helping you find a prompt.. and getting you thinking about all sorts of things.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review of Summer Splendor  
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi IceSkating SugarCube ,
I am Carly - Prepping for NaNoWriMo and I have the pleasure of reviewing your poem as it falls bfore mine in the I Write in 2019 forum.

This is a new style for me... apparently Welsh poetic styles are all the rage this week - this is the second one I have done. *Bigsmile*

I appreciate the fact that you included a dropnote with the poetic form's guidelines. That was very helpful and considerate.

I felt you did a lovely job capturing the essence of summer fun. I believe you held to the rhyming pattern and the syllable counts. I see no spelling or grammatical concerns or issues.

I wish you all the best in the contest!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review of Honing the Craft  
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Tinker ,
This is a poetic form I am unfamiliar with, but I really like it. It seems quite challenging. The rhyming pattern is intriguing - Line 1 and Line 2 at the end, then again in the middle of Line 3. I think you do an excellent job of using rhymes that are fresh. Well done.
I like the poems message - which I interpret as a dancer finding that age is beginning to challenge their body in ways that youth did not. As I age I find I can relate to the body not being as "quick and strong, with time has mellowed" That is a nice way to put it. One does not need to be a dancer to feel the aging come into your life.
Thank you for sharing your words.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
for entry "A Brand New Ending
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi ruwth ,

It's Carly - Prepping for NaNoWriMo and I have the pleasure of reviewing you tiny piece. Interesting contest - 140 characters. I popped this into a couple of counters and one claimed 32 words, 115 characters (without spaces) and 146 characters (with spaces). So I would say it falls within the guidelines of the contest.
A story in 149 characters seems a bit extreme, but doable. I need to read a few more of these to see if a story emerges or simply a tweet of happenings. I liked yours and I wish you well in the contest.

I enjoyed the author's notes you provided. They are thought provoking.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review of Wheel of Fortune  
for entry "May 8, 2019
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi ridinghhood--p. boutilier ,

I'm Carly - Prepping for NaNoWriMo and I have the pleasure of review your entry to the I Write In 2019 forum. I hadn't realized we could use blog posts... but then again is it a lovely poem. I appreciate the author's notes at the bottom of your poem as they helped a great deal. I had not heard of Baba Yaga or her cat before. It sounds like something I may want to look into in the future.
I also looked up the #metoo movement. Thank you for that as well.
I like the idea of using Tarot Cards to give you inspiration for your blog - it always amazes me what can come from a prompt of that nature.

I enjoyed the poem - it was simple, yet profound in its essence. I really liked the little pictures you wove into the piece to keep it light considering the topic of saving innocent girls. Thank you for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review of The Wood Nymph  
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Ken!
I have the plesure of reviewing your piece for the I Write In 2019 Challenge as it comes before mine in the forum.
I find myself mesmerized by the potency and perfection of your lyrical poetry. Absolutely beautiful. I could see the wood Nymph awakening. I love how you wound the description within the poem's magic.It drew me in as much as her creation did. Lovely.
Your rhymes are fresh within the traditional quatrain frame. The poem takes on a life of its own as you paint the brush strokes of her creation... and her time to sleep once again.
I take my hat off to you. Another beauty.
I also appreciate the information at the bottom of your poem.
I wish you luck in the contest... I am hoping to entry that contest as well, but you have set the bar very high as always. Thank you so much for sharing your work! It is always a pleasure to read.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Detective
I am Carly - Prepping for NaNoWriMo and I have the privileged of reviewing your poem as it falls before mine on the I Write In 2019.
I love the images you bring to the piece - the birds and the warming sun. Those are things I love about April, but I can see where it is the cruelest month in that it is slow to warm up... and snow is not out of the forecast. Last year we had one ice storm that closed the schools - it was the only school closer day for the whole year! It was two weeks into the month and I have friends who live farther north and they were snowed in the last weekend of April. So I would say the unexpected nature of the month causes it to be 'cruel'. We want the warmth of spring... but it is not coming as fast as we would like.
I think your poem is quite beautiful. I wish you good luck in the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
Review of Oregon  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi Mastiff

I am Carly and I have the pleasure of reviewing your piece as it falls before mine in the I Write in 2019 forum.

I see you have entered the Verdant Poetry contest as well. I am also pleased to see you did 3 poems. I am not sure if that is the way of things, but I did two and called it a pair of lady slippers. So I am glad to see you went with more as well.

I wasn't familiar with this form and I am still not certain if I carried it off correctly. Three short lines with internal rhymes...I see some internal rhymes within your poem, but not in every line. Then I wasn't sure if each of your three parts were separate parts of the poem. I am even more confused about this form. So I am not sure what to say... I like your poem and I wish you the best in the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review of Wheel of Fortune  
for entry "February 7, 2019
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi ridinghhood--p. boutilier ,

It's Carly - Prepping for NaNoWriMo and I have the opportunity to review your poem because it was just before mine in the I Write forum.

I love this 24 syllable poetry contest. I gather you were a winner and I can see why. The only draw back was that I had to look the word aureate up. I like using the dropnote feature and poking the definition in at the bottom of the piece.

Aside from that I felt that your poem conveyed the beauty of the table and its ornate display.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Kellie Burke ,

My name is Carly - Prepping for NaNoWriMo and I found your short piece in the I Write forum before mine. I have the pleasure of reviewing your work this week.

This had me smiling before I even started to read it. This was all it took - "A television talk show host interviews Cupid about this new autobiography about his life."

I found one small misprint - "If you had thoroughly ready the entire book" ready should be read.

I liked this part: ""Speaking of love, did you ever hit someone by an accident and they ended up falling for someone else?"

"Brad and Angelina; I accidentally poked him with the point of my arrow while I was at a private party. He was still with Jennifer at the time. That was a mistake on my part."" My only issue with it is the first sentence - by accident would work better than 'by an accident'.

I wish you good luck in the contest.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review of 5k My Way  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Dominique .
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of I Write in 2019 and "Gang's Monthly Review Board [13+].
I have just read your short story "5k My Way, which I found when I posted my own entry to Week #4 of the I Write In 2019 forum and found yours to be the one before mine and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
I liked this story. It had a bit of a 'tortoise and the hare' kind of feel at one point. I liked the idea of Troy coming out on top. His persistence and focus has paid off. Even an idiot like Mike was not able to through him off his stride for too long.


Characters:
The main character is Troy a young man who has cerebral palsy.
The other character is Mike a football player who has been told that he must participate in this race and he is a bully. He is definitely someone you want to see get what's coming to him.


Setting:
A beautiful sunny day in some kind of park with an 5K race being done. There is a bit of a party atmosphere - smells of popcorn and hot dogs.


Plot:
Troy has prepared himself to run his first big race - a 5K race for Cerebral Palsy. At the beginning of the race we are introduced to the two boys. We see how mean Mike is, but we also see Troy's determination to do his best.
The pace is well handled. Troy 'stumbles' and loses some focus when he catches up and passes Mike, but he is able to refocus himself by thinking of his father.
The reader is right there along with Troy.


Favourite Part:
I like the parts where Troy is able to focus inward and keep his steady pace with his breathing and body connection.

I also like that he is surprised about winning.


Suggestions:
Some confusion here: "He felt the soft earth underfoot, and every so often a twig snapped under his feet. Troys daily runs paid off as he ran with ease across the blacktop." Is he on soft ground or blacktop? Just a bit of clarity is all it needs.

I also got jarred out of the story when the cops showed up and arrested Mike. I am thinking a less extreme situation would make it more plausible... something like having his coach put him on suspension from the team or maybe even thrown off the team.

Additional Comments:
Apart from the cops showing up, I think it was an excellent story. A great transformation story of a man with cerebral palsy winning a 5K race. To me that is within the realm of believe-ablility.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
for entry "A Snow Angel and...
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
A cute wee story ruwth . Whether true or not is brought a smile to my face and lifted my spirits. A good wee tale can do that. *BigSmile*

I have never tired this contest so I don't know the details or expectations, but I wish you good luck.

Merry Christmas.

My mother and I are celebrating Advent with a different tea each day... a nice way to end the day. Cheers.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
In affiliation with Poetic Exploration  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi ruwth ,
It's Carly - Prepping for NaNoWriMo and I get to review your wee poem for the 24 Syllables contest.

I loved that you captured a moment within the 24 syllables that has great meaning for you... thank you for sharing that Laurel is your father in law. He will be forever held in high esteem within your words and thoughts.
I did have to look up the word rapacious - an adjective meaning to be "aggressively greedy or grasping." Very cool word choice - 3 syllables used right there.
You use the word lovingly in your prayer. We all want an easy way for our dying - both for them, for us and for all the ones who loved them.
May God bless you and keep you within his loving arms as you move through this time.

I count 25 or 26 syllables (depending on how I say being), but I still really like the poem and think it touches on the moment with tenderness.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review of Tofurkey Day  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Prosperous Snow Thankful .
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of I Write for 2018 and "Gang's Monthly Review Board [13+].
I have just read your short piece "Tofurkey Day, which I found when I posted my own entry for week #44 to the forum and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
This gave me a good laugh and reminded me of my own family dinners. For that I had to give you the full five stars. The story held me and I ambled right along with you.


Characters:
A husband and wife, team


Setting:
The setting was in the kitchen of the couple.


Plot:
It is a tale of Thanksgiving proportions. Nicely told in that the pacing was spot on and the humour was definitely there... one must always have humoour when dealing with family at Thanksgiving. Humour helps digest that turnkey and all its fixings.


Favourite Part:
There were quite a few parts I enjoyed. I think the fire alarm as a backup cooking timer was great - it iis like that at our house... if fact when it goes off we all yell "Dinner's Ready!"
The comment about her husband thinking the turkey was just spelled wrong was also a hoot.
I also liked it when she had to use a little creativity and cursing to get thee turnkey into the oven. Been there done that!
"That isn't the way you baste a turkey. I think the foam is poisonous." This had me laughing!


Suggestions:
I see no spelling or grammar concerns.
I would say "Sweet Heart is one word - sweetheart. Though I can understand you may have stretched it out to show his frustration at having been awakened by the fire.


Additional Comments:
I loved the real authentic-ness of this piece. it could have been something that happened at my place!
Giood luck in the contest.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
Review of Wheel of Fortune  
for entry "October 16, 2018
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi ridinghhood--p. boutilier ,

I have the pleasure of reviewing your small poem as it is before mine in the I Write in 2018 forum.

There is a darkness in this poem that reflects the feelings I am having... over another topic - that of the holocaust as depicted in the novel The Storyteller by Jodi Pocoult.
I see the invisible lines of history and the bands of it repeating itself. Things said by a current 'Maliciousness-in-Chief echo that of Hitler, But it is not only that genocide.... that was the killing of innocents, but we all have histories of such atrocities. Canada had its residential schools - a kind of cultural genocide which also hurts my heart. We still owe apologies and need to find a way to help those whose families were damaged by the cruelty they suffered.
I swim to find the light... to see the hope. I, and each of us, can make a choice to be that hope. The future does not have to be so bleak. Love can prevail.
Idiots with too much power can be put in their place.... so that they cannot damage anymore than they already have.

I have no idea if your poem is for a contest, but I appreciate the sentiment. Thank you for sharing. Sorry for my extra rant... but that's where my head went. Poems really can take you places.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
for entry "haiku 2018 #38
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey Tinker ,
I have the honour of reading your haiku as it was posted before my Week #40 entry into the I Write for 2018 contest.
I quite like the snapshot of autumn life you captured. I will admit, I had to look 'prinked' because I was not sure what it meant. It works.
I really liked the image of the 'rain slicked two lane road'. I have a soft spot for 'autumn passage' as well because I like those trails and pathways into crisp, colourful areas. Fall is a favourite time of year for me.
Good luck in the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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