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1,575 Public Reviews Given
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Review of Dragon-male  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Your use of first person narration develops the premise and unfolding events quite well. I was enthralled. I loved the elements of your story. They add intrigue, mystery and an emotional twist. For some reason I thought the narrating character was a girl. Great job and happy WDC anniversary! You totally deserved the ribbon!


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Review of It Had to Happen  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Before I go any further I need to say something, slow down! Everything that happened was so juxtaposed. Through the middle segment it was “he did this, he did that” and so on. It seems there is no danger as he takes out all the guards one after another with a whim. Even in action stories there must be exposition to ground the situation and the plot. From the beginning and part of the middle you did a good job with Szaro and his accent that helped to characterize him as a villain. I suggest you go through the action and ad some thoughts that bond might be having or have some more setting description. Anyway, I thought this was very well imagined and that you deserved the honorable mention! Happy WDC anniversary!

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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Man, you did a good job with this! It was easy to follow and you instantly drew me into the mind of the narrator. The emotion is strong and well versed. I like how you give the emphasis to the heart of the matter when you ended it with “this is me and this is my moment!” rather than saying who won. I have no suggestions. Happy WDC anniversary!


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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Your poem has potential just be the style and mood. Yet it lacks the elements that typically define a poem. These include imagery, metaphor simile and other things. Also the meter was a little out of sync and it was slightly hard to catch the rhyming. Nevertheless, this is just my dissection of your poem and may not be needed if you choose so. Happy WDC anniversary!


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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was a splendid and had strong imagery. Nice allusion to Ophelia. The lovely imagery kind of stops in mid portion and turns into a course of events. It is very nice if that is what you were going for. I think ending it with more of your very good sense of imagery would have made it more affective. Nevertheless I loved the whole thing! Great poem! Thanks for sharing and happy WDC anniversary!

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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I liked how this sounded. I can’t give any constructive suggestions because prose poetry is not my forte. I do not believe I have ever written one. I thought it was smart how you put those captions the start of each stanza to guide the reader into a deep narration. I understood that it was a love poem? Am I right? Thanks for sharing!
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Very good man! I have nothing but compliments; I found no errors or typos. I love how so intricately expose Colt’s feelings and thoughts. You really made me experience the events that took place. I do wonder if he was legitimately guilty, that was a little fuzzy. Was he justifying himself as being innocent when he was guilty or not? Well, you probably intended this to be a little obscure so great job to you! You deserve the ribbon! And congrats for making into the Short Stories editor’s picks!
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This is reminiscent of the classic War of The Worlds scare decades ago, but I think everyone will think that. For such a short piece you did a good job of evoking interest. I love the humor too when you gave that punch line at the end. How could they tell it was a baby dragon though? Also, if a dragon was big enough to block out the sun for two hours, it would have to be really big, like over three times the size of the Titanic and I don’t believe that people would think that is too big even for a dragon. Good job man! Happy WDC anniversary!

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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
First, I’ll point out the only typo in your narration. In the sentence below you would correct it by saying “The scientist tries to find the girl and makes...”

The scientist tries finds the girl and makes...

You raise a good point and I agree with you. The Bible says “What a man seeks is unfailing love.” Only God’s Son can do that. I have not heard of this movie, but it sounds thought provoking. It is similar to a psychological thriller in a way. So did you see this in theatres? Oh, and happy WDC anniversary!

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Review of The Raven  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I loved this poem. I had to read the pome twice to get that the raven is a person. You could also make it state of mind or something. My favorite lines were “A secret place where souls are kept,/And dreams are cherished too./That’s the place he’s taken it/The soul/I search for. It creates a kind of arid darkness that is peaceful and elusive. I think it would be more emotional if the person speaking never is reunited with the raven. Happy WDC anniversary!


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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Needless to say, this is not a thing that can be critiqued seeing it is a personal testimony. Going to heaven is dependent also on taking up your cross daily and following Christ. Jesus says that if you do not do so than you are not worthy of Him. Again it is written “he that looks back is not worthy of Me.” People think that if you just believe than you guaranteed heaven. The Bible also says “Work out your salvation with fear and trembling.” US Christians are too complacent and generally slothful. Slothfulness is a sin and the Bible says that if you are luke-warm, He will spew us out of His mouth. We must “strive to enter into the narrow gate.” Thanks for the note. It raised a good point. Happy WDC anniversary.

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Review of What's In A Name?  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
The saying what’s’ in a name is an old adage. But names mean something. It is kind of like the saying “You can’t judge a book by its cover.” But you can if there is a title. A name can build us up and tear us down. At the end of this piece, do you refer to the Book of Life? Anyway, this was a unique monologue and it presents a valid point. Happy WDC anniversary!

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Review of Midnight Bird  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow, this was great. I found no errors. One thing that you had was how easy it was to follow such emotional and nostalgic content. Most prose poems are too obscure in my opinion. The midnight bird is a very affective metaphor. You’re very good at poetry. My favorite part was the whole fifth stanza. It presents an ultimatum of a heart at a loss. Happy WDC anniversary!

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Review of Special Light  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I did like this, but it was a little blocky. You move a little fast when you go through these scientific facets. It gets kind of juxtaposed. It’s brilliantly written but maybe more explanation would help those who are not so “tech savvy.” To me, the biggest characteristic was the suspense. You did this well I think. It is amazing how so many things were going through Albert’s mind. He must have been very smart. Also try to break this into smaller paragraphs and lines. The big block is overwhelming to the eye. Happy WDC anniversary!

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Review of Dissatisfaction  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
The only errors I saw were the space between line two and three and also the last two lines that are not space like the rest of the story. I kind of dislike the guy. It seems that he is the only one who has a problem. It was sad to see such love dwindle away like that. Good job with prompt in bold. I’ve done a few of those for the Writer’s Cramp myself. Happy WDC anniversary!

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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I spotted two blips. With the sentence below, omit the words “of the bed”

. He turned on the lamp beside his bed and sat at the edge of the bed

With this next one below “I will wreak you down” is stilted. Choose another word than wreak.

I will wreak you down with the ferocity of an obsession, but slowly enough to watch you crumble

You did a decent job considering the required brevity. The part I liked best was when the guy answers the phone the lights go on and off, very spooky. Was the voice on the phone supposed to be a form of his inner criticism and dark side? I did not get exactly who the voice was otherwise. Nice job and have a happy WDC birthday!

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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is so true. Like it says in the Bible “Yesterday is gone and tomorrow will soon be today.” If I understand it correctly, the last stanza addresses how simply being alive now does not mean you will live in the future. I may be wrong, but a lot of poems are open to interpretation. I do not know if this is one of them. Congrats on focusing on so many facets concerning time and our place in it in such a small poem. Happy WDC anniversary!

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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
First I will address the inconstancies. I have pointed out two of them but there are more. Bellow my comments are in parenthesis.

( With the sentence below, turn “grasses” into “grass.” Next, you cannot stumble over hills like rocks. You may want to say “Two boys ran laughing through the thick grass towards the lonely tree, struggling up and down hills while stumbling over rocks.”)

Two boys ran laughing through the thick grasses towards the lonely tree, stumbling over hidden rocks and hills.

(Here, you simply need “trees” to be ”tree’s.”)

Here, the long grass died out to a dusty clearing with the great trees thick trunk sitting proudly in the center.

These are simple sentence level mistakes easily taken care of so no worries. I think the story really picks up at the end which is obviously the climax. Enden’s dire situation introduces great suspense. The dripping blood is very visual. You hooked me at the and with the mysterious prey. It appears that you killed off Enden. That adds a degree of intrigue. These are my assessments so look over them yourself. Happy WDC anniversary!



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Review of Nightmare  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This story has description, a lot of description! At times the story seems like a tale of pure emotion and picture. However the storyline is not very perceivable. But you do have the description aspect of writing down pat. Try throwing in some dialog; I would love to see that! These comments are my opinion. Feel free to disregard anything. Happy WDC anniversary!

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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I do not remember what repeating a line at times within a poem is called. I noticed how you switched from first person plural to singular first person in the last two stanzas. Is this meant to infer a sense of longing and loneliness? Like I say to all people who do poetry in couplets and such, the more conventional method is prose poetry. I am not used to that kind of poetry myself. I would love to see this in prose form with proper rhythm and line breaks. I pale at both of those. I have always done couplet poetry with sing song rhymes but as my old writing professor told me, people look for prose style more. I think your poem was wonderful and I loved the rhyme scheme. The above statements are what I tell all makers of these kinds of poems. That is what society likes apparently. Eh, but who cares as long as people enjoy it! Happy WDC anniversary!

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Review of My Senior Moments  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very funny. The last line was my favorite. I’ve noticed that my mom has senior moments these days, just a few. She is naturally distracted but there are times when she will lose track where we are going in her truck when she is talking. You certainly deserved the ribbon. But like the verses in the Bible that says “Do no despise your mother when she is old.” I also like when you said “George says getting old is a lot of fun. You get to meet new people everyday. He wakes up every morning to a new woman, but all his women have the same name (Penny). But with his multiple personalities, I never know who I'm talking to.” That was quite humorous! Happy WDC anniversary!

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Review of Heart  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I must say, your poetry is very developed which is obvious from you bio-block. I’ve heard from other people that writing was a literal life saver. It is a healthy way to expel inner troubles like you know. But sometimes it takes this kind of pain to produce such beauty. Have you ever thought of publishing?

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Review of Laughter  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Laughter is an ancient medicine. It even says so in the Bible. I like people who are light hearted and do not take life too seriously. I wonder why we sometimes stress out over small things. I like how you said; I was truly the luckiest person ever/ To be alive. Some people say life is meaningless and search for an answer. Just living is a reason to go on! Life is a gift from God mean to be enjoyed to its fullest. Laughter is an expression of life. Good poem.


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Review of Magdalen in Lent  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Although I think I partially got your poem, it sounded wonderful! Pretty good for a first attempt. You definitely created a lovely abstract poem. Like I said it is a bit overly obscure. Sometimes you have to spell things out for the more laymen so they get what you are saying. I am not very good at prose so I cannot say much. I’m a couplet rhyming person but I realize prose is more contemporary. One of my writing professors told me that. Good job and happy WDC anniversary!

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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
You have a very provoking mind to have delved into the POV of a butterfly. It was brief but that did not hinder this. I really don’t know what to say. It is what it is and I mean that in a good way. This is also vivid more so than most pieces I read. I have no suggestions for improvement. I suppose it could be better but only you can do that. Keep writing and happy WDC anniversary!


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