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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/k5rakitan/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/12
Review Requests: ON
5,624 Public Reviews Given
5,624 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I'm the lead editor for a small independent press, but I am on maternity leave for the next several years and thus not accepting submissions. I'll tell you my professional opinion on first chapters or short pieces and whether I would have accepted it or rejected it if I was looking for work. I've dealt most with controversial speculative fiction, and I'm most interested in polyamory a.k.a consensual non-monogamy.
Favorite Genres
Science Fiction, Historical Fiction, Fantasy, Romance, Dystopia, Erotica
Least Favorite Genres
stream of consciousness
Favorite Item Types
Short Stories, Novels, Fraternal Polyandry
Public Reviews
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Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

You've painted a powerful picture in just a few short words. This also reminds me of some things I've been through in my life.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
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Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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Review of Zoned Out  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

Thanks for sharing these deeply personal thoughts. Writing about these things is a great way to process your feelings and let others who have had similar experiences know they are not alone.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thanks for requesting my review!

This put a delightful image in my mind. The piece really cheered me up!

The poem seemed to drop its rhythm with "That Panda wasn't pushing" but then the rhythm picked up again in the last line. I can't think of how to rework those few words without changing the rest of the line as well.
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Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This was a delightful bite-sized chill. A little late for Halloween, but still enjoyable.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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280
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

I used my internet browser to translate this to English, so I will not comment on the grammar.

Thanks for sharing these updates, though it could have used more detail.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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Review of My little angel  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

Thanks for sharing these deeply personal thoughts. Writing about these things is a great way to process your feelings and let others who have had similar experiences know they are not alone.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a brave start. Keep practicing, and I am sure you will improve rapidly.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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Review of starlit bullet  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

You expressed some very powerful feelings in just a few lines. She must have been an absolutely stellar person to inspire this.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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Review of ***  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is absolutely beautiful. I like the use of second person in this poem.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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Review of Just by chance  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a cute start. The writing style was very clear, and the characters felt real.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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Review of For George,  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a beautiful, heartwarming story. It's a refreshing read after all the Halloween content that has been on this site lately.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

You've put a lot of detail here, perhaps too much towards the end if you desire privacy and don't want an identity thief to grab a copy of your birth certificate.

Try avoiding forms of the verb “to be” such as is, are, was, were, etc. This is known as passive language. Using more colorful verbs can greatly strengthen your writing.

Example:
"My dad grew up in St. Joseph, MO, and he had a Christian family and he was raised Christian even though he wasn’t really into church like the rest of his family there."
-->
My dad grew up in St. Joseph, MO. His Christian family raised him with Christian values, but he didn't enjoy church.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This provides a lot of food for thought. On the insanity one, I'd like to point out that change can take a long time when it comes to living things. Have you ever planted an avocado seed and expected avocados the next morning? It can take four or more years to see the fruits of your labor. Even if the seed sprouts, there's no guarantee the plant will survive to adulthood. Modern expertise helps, but there are no guarantees in life.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

Thanks for sharing these deeply personal thoughts. Writing about these things is a great way to process your feelings and let others who have had similar experiences know they are not alone.

It brings to mind a few people I know, but I'm fortunate it does not describe any of them to a T. They've never insulted me in front of others, only privately.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

I used my internet browser to translate this to English, so I will not comment on the grammar.

This sounds like a delightful work. I hope it touches many people and helps them strive to be better people.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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Review of Free Fall  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This was very clearly written. If you could read this aloud and add a couple of simple slides, this would make an excellent YouTube Kids video.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a delightfully elegant poem. I sometimes wish my husband could be romantic in this way, but then again, that's why I insisted on an open marriage. Then again, taking care of a toddler doesn't exactly leave much time for dating.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a lovely bestiary list. Is this an outline for a story you are writing or a summary of something already written?

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This was a pleasant read and good practice in setting the scene. However, stories need conflict to hold a reader's attention. If you want to keep the conflict on the "typical morning" level, I recommend tossing in a toddler.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.5)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is sad and sweet at the same time. I'd like to question the word choice on "people" instead of "humans" because here the birds are displaying the characteristics of people, and in fact they are acting more like people than the animals who are taking their home away. I like to remind my son often that humans are animals so he can develop a greater appreciation for all living things.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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Review of What To Do  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

I like writing in cursive as well, but I don't think it's a terrible thing to remove from schools. I'd like to encourage my son to learn it and teach him if he's willing, but I'm not going to give him any consequences if that's not a subject he's interested in. I think it would impress his teachers in middle school and high school if he's the only one using cursive on assignments, but there are other ways he can impress people. He did like this video when I showed it to him: https://youtu.be/CC5LNdLI00U

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

I like the in-your-face writing style, though one thing I've never appreciated about pop culture is the obsession with material goods. I want a planet where my son will have clean air and water far more than I want a Bugatti. I'm more a fan of Greta Thunberg than I am of any pop singer. Also, this piece ends mid-sentence.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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Review of Hawayein  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

I used my internet browser to translate this to English, so I will not comment on the grammar.

This expresses some powerful emotions and provides a lot of food for thought. Thanks for sharing!

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

I like this fresh perspective on a classic story. Wolves are some of the most beautiful animals on our planet, too!

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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Review of Antarctica  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

Learning about these things never stops hurting. This is why I can't bring myself to get a drivers license. I'm over 30, and I had a permit in my early twenties after intense pressure from my ex-boyfriend and family. During that time, a doctor wrote me a prescription for antidepressants. I got a second opinion from a therapist and decided not to take the pills.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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