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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kat47/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/14
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1,269 Public Reviews Given
1,501 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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326
326
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.

My overall impression: A beautiful tribute to a loving father. This brought both a smile to my face and tears to my eyes.


What I liked most: This poem flows smoothly-not saying too much or too little. I grew up in that era when Dads weren't that affectionate. I am happy to say my husband has always been loving with our four sons so they are with their children.




Suggestions for change: None




This writing made me feel: You touched my heart and that is what writing is all about. Write on!



Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!

Kat



In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
-Rainer Maria Rilke
327
327
Review of I Miss My Mother  
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.

My overall impression: This stole my heart. You did a lovely job bringing back my memories.


What I liked most: I could feel your pain but also your love; the way you miss your best friend. I identify with that.




Suggestions for change:none




This writing made me feel: How much I miss my own Mom-there is nothing like that Mom-daughter relationship.
When I was a teenager, I couldn't stand her. Then you become a Mom yourself and it becomes so clear. My Mom had Alzhiemer's at the end and didn't know who I was-sad for both of us. You are a wonderful writer-you touched my heart.



Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!

Kat



In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
-Rainer Maria Rilke
328
328
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.

My overall impression: I can identify with this poem, it certainly reflects the way I am feeling.


What I liked most: I detect a feeling of playfulness in this that I enjoy. I relish the choices that being retired gives me.




Suggestions for change: none




This writing made me feel: Like someone else feels like me. I like the changes you make with each "Getting old...."
Overall, this was a fun read. You can't afford to take it too seriously or you would cry and get nothing done. Hang in there!
Being Mayor sounds like a challenging job-I admire you!! Write on.


Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!

Kat



In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
-Rainer Maria Rilke
329
329
Review of That's you  
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.

My overall impression: How sad but true this is. Relationships are like this and there is no control-would we want it?


What I liked most: The truth of it. Your desriptive language, rhyme and rhythm are excellent.




Suggestions for change: none




This writing made me feel: Even if you think someone is the perfect one for you, there is that honeymoon period where all seems lovely and right. As time passes you find a different person, either you settle or leave or possibly grieve for what was. You capture the insecurity of feelings very well.



Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!

Kat



In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
-Rainer Maria Rilke
330
330
Review of Stay  
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.

My overall impression: Beautifully written, read with a lump in my throat-most of us have had this experience.


What I liked most: Your descriptive language and rhyming is excellent poetry. I enjoyed it all especially the following and the last stanza.

The warmth of your smile
Your soul piercing eyes
I just want you awhile
Maybe past sunrise



Suggestions for change: None




This writing made me feel: Like I have been there and you know how I felt. You are talented-continue writing.



Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!

Kat



In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
-Rainer Maria Rilke
331
331
Review of Jaded to life  
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.

My overall impression: You have expressed feelings of depression that we all can relate to at times.


What I liked most: The poem flows with smooth rhyme and rhythm.




Suggestions for change: None




This writing made me feel: I felt this way many times when I cannot write or fail with helping my family.



Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!

Kat



In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
-Rainer Maria Rilke
332
332
Review of The Traveler  
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.

My overall impression: You are a natural storyteller. Once I began reading, I wanted to know what had happened to this man.



What I liked most: Your ability to draw the reader in and describe what is going on.




Suggestions for change: First, you need to break this into paragraphs. It is overwhelming written as it is. Read it over and see how it sounds to you. There are some places where grammar needs brushing up. These are common mistakes and easily repaired.

When his guardian angel comes to him, don't you think he would first offer him a place to stay? Unless he has some divine knowledge, he doesn't know this man. I don't think he would offer him a job right away. Perhaps he does have divine knowledge but, as the reader, I don't know that.




This writing made me feel: Very sorry for this man. It sounds like so many stories you hear today. It rings true. I would love to see some more dialog and paragraph spacing. You are a very good writer. Keep it up and welcome to WDC.



Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!

Kat



In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
-Rainer Maria Rilke
333
333
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.

My overall impression: Fear is what keeps this world from progressing-religion and politics both use it and all of us feel it gripping our inner core.


What I liked most: Most of us can identify with this. I want to know more about these people so I will stop, ask and give them some money. If it is going for drugs, that is a kind of comfort also. If you are hooked and have to suffer withdrawal that can actually kill a person.




Suggestions for change: None. Most of us feel just like you and if I had my grandchild with me, I probably wouldn't stop.




This writing made me feel: Sad for a world that is frightened of other people. Excellent writing on a subject we don't like to acknowledge.



Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!

Kat



In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
-Rainer Maria Rilke
334
334
Review of Always Autumn  
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.

My overall impression: This is a wonderful inspiring read. I finished it with tears in my eyes.


What I liked most: The language is so real I felt like I was there. I could feel the cool breeze, the smells of the season and sense their love.




Suggestions for change: none




This writing made me feel: You are a very talented writer and this poem left me wanting more.



Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!

Kat



In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
-Rainer Maria Rilke
335
335
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.

My overall impression: I love this poem. Your descriptions are perfect and the love felt is so real.


What I liked most:
And the way the sun creeps in through the window
And lights up your gray-blue eyes.
They get silver flecks around the edges.

My favorite is the last part ( a perfect stanza alone)
And I’m okay with waiting ‘til you get back.
But that doesn’t mean
That I am ever going to let go of your hand
When you return
To tell me what you found.




Suggestions for change: I would break it into stanzas to focus closer.




This writing made me feel: The love and sadness felt by this person, the descriptions were perfect.



Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!

Kat



In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
-Rainer Maria Rilke
336
336
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.

My overall impression: A delightful story of love and suspense.


What I liked most: The pace; it moved along with just the right timing. It grabbed me from the beginning and I loved the ending.




Suggestions for change: You have a couple of errors. My feet drove me to her by thems elves.

I feel like a hen watching the duckling she hatched, go swimming off in water. (this didn't quite make sense as written).


This writing made me feel: The love a mother feels for a child, the indescribable fright of losing that child and the wonder we all experience with our children.



Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!

Kat



In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
-Rainer Maria Rilke
337
337
Review of Last Visit  
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.

My overall impression: A short piece that needs editing yet keeps the reader interested. I wanted to find out who this important person in their life was and what was wrong.


What I liked most: This had a very dramatic ending that took my breath away. I really liked the last paragraph-very good writing.





Suggestions for change: Go back and check your grammar and spelling.




This writing made me feel: Interested in reading more from you. Keep writing but if you want people to hang in there with you on a longer piece, you need to edit, edit and edit. This is a continuous process that I am still struggle with. Welcome to WDC.



Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!

Kat



In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
-Rainer Maria Rilke
338
338
Review of A Lost Cause  
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.

My overall impression: This story has the potential for being a great piece of writing.


What I liked most: Your characters come to life and that is the essence of good writing. The emotions of disapointment and fear from the daughter stand out.




Suggestions for change: Your story needs editing. Spelling mistakes and grammar errors along with paragraph construction keep it from shining.




This writing made me feel: I would love to read it again after some editing. You are very talented.



Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!

Kat



In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
-Rainer Maria Rilke
339
339
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.

My overall impression: I loved this well written short, to the point lesson we can all learn from.


What I liked most: It is subtle but powerful.




Suggestions for change: I would have liked to know more about both women. I am almost sixty and occasionally walk with neighbors but we do slow down and talk. Your character reminds me of my Grandma in her eighties walking to a strip mall for groceries in MI. I was a child and had to run to keep up with her. She would say "no time to waste-things to do".




This writing made me feel: like smiling



Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!

Kat



In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
-Rainer Maria Rilke
340
340
Review of Trayvon Martin  
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.

My overall impression: You found the words I have been searching for to explain this senseless act


What I liked most: The intensity of feelings- I love the last stanza-so steeped in human truth
Until
We learn
That you are
Me and I am you
Nothing changes; generational hatred grows and festers onward
A never ending cycle lest mankind breaks free from those chains that hinder.





Suggestions for change: None




This writing made me feel: a combination of loss-for a young life-the absense in his parents' life, the loss of compassion and rationale



Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!

Kat



In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
-Rainer Maria Rilke
341
341
Review of WINTER YEARS  
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
So sad, what age does to our bodies-inside is the heart of a yung girl with hopes and dreams. If only people could see.
Kat
342
342
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.

My overall impression: Your writing always touches my heart in some way and that is what good writers do. This was humorous and I could relate to it.


What I liked most: Your style of writing is to bring the reader in, give them just the right amount of material to create interest and close at the right time. I admire that. Thanks for another good read.




Suggestions for change: None




This writing made me feel: in touch with another person that looks at life similar to the way I do and gave me something to think about



Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!

Kat



In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
-Rainer Maria Rilke
343
343
Review of The Promise  
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.

My overall impression: What a sad and beautifully written piece. I sit here with tears in my eyes and memories of my own parents. You are a very talented poet; the substance, rhyme and rhythm are excellent.


What I liked most: the emotional writing tugs at the heart strings, the thought of finding him lying on the ground made my heart jump-the ending when it is time for him to come home and he is welcome and receptive




Suggestions for change: none




This writing made me feel: my Mom had Alzheimer's and I have written several poems etc. It is so very hard to watch your parents age and now discovering what strength it takes to weather your own mortality



Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!

Kat



In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
-Rainer Maria Rilke
344
344
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I really like what this says, the metaphor is good writing. I feel you left out the I. O. U.'s but there was a lot that could have been included. No errors in punctuation or spelling. It flows and makes a great statement. Write on.
Kat
345
345
Review of Touch  
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is filled with beautiful meanings. It just needs some fine tuning.
Like a ocean fill me tides-perhaps, Like a ocean flows with tides.
I love the following:
From a mother to her child,

It is soft, gentle and mild,

From a lover to his beloved,

It may arouse feelings wild,

From a brother to his brother,

It gives a feeling of being tied,

One problem here- It gives a feeling of being unite- you need to add a d to this so it reads 'to be united', I believe.

You finish it very well.

Write on.
Kat
346
346
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ah, the beauty of a poem that tugs at the heart and brings a smile to your lips. This is one. I love it. You have captured Alone as love pure and sweet.
Write on, talented author.
Kat
347
347
Review of April's Story  
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.

My overall impression: The subject of this story left me feeling very upset. You did a good job at building the sequence up until the sad conclusion.

What I liked most: The fact that this child carried so much about her friend.


Suggestions for change:
I became very confused at the point where Morgan asked her friend about the bites and she tells her what happened. She ends it with the following:
When I went home I told my dad "and he said it would be okay".
The story continues with:
The days passed, and gradually you could see other parts of April's body becoming bruised. The next day, April wasn't at school. I told my dad, and he said he would go talk to a teacher on Monday. I agreed.

When Monday came instead of just dropping me off like usual, my dad told me to stay in the car.................................
I'd have thought the father would have reported it immediately to someone besides the teacher but it says "days passed, and gradually you could see other parts of April's body becoming bruised. Wasn't she covering her arms anymore? The next day, April wasn't at school."
The sequence of time did not make sense. Which Monday did he tell the teacher so the authorities could do something?


This writing made me feel: It sounds like this little girl died. So sad that someone besides another child noticed her long sleeves.


Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!

Kat



In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
-Rainer Maria Rilke
348
348
Review of The Sound  
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This was great. I had to alternate between laughing and feeling sorry for this poor guy. Talk about bad luck! You are a very talented writer and I really enjoyed this fast paced believable story. I did not notice any errors. You certainly made my day better because I have something to compare it to. Write on!
Kat
349
349
Review of More Than Lust  
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
There is a lot of feeling in this poem. My sugggestions would be to trim it down, take out any unecessary words.

If I wrote you a song,

would you believe ( that) I will never leave? Remove 'that'.

How about (I) hold you, dry your tears,

(take away) all your fears?

Just some suggestions.

Keep writing.

Kat
350
350
Review of I am a veteran  
Review by Redtowrite
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thank you for serving our country. Two of my sons are in the service, one is on disability from an injury received in Iraq. This is short but covers all the bases. Since there is not a draft, it takes a certain kind of person to stand up and support our country. I wish we didn't have to fight at all and look forward to a world without wars. Thanks for this declaration and the way it is written and thanks for proudly serving. Write on!
Kat
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