This review reflects my opinion only, and I am not a writing expert. I do hope you find something that is interesting or helpful to you. I've read a few more of your stories and I thought that the stories that you have here are really beautiful.
FIRST IMPRESSION : This is a good spooky story. I especially liked the dialogues.
THE STORY:This is a story of a young boy Kyle who was killed by a terrorist Josh . Kyle returned as a ghost. Then suddenly a man in a black coat approached. He made a deal with Kyle. Upon seeing his name in the list Kyle requested the man to give him one more chance. But the man Kyle soul replaced with lilitu’ soul.
FAVOURITE PART:” The corners of the mans lips went up slightly "I'm sorry, but you're soul is already sealed to go through those doors. Its on the list." He materialized a clipboard out of thin are and tapped about half way down the page with his pen. "You're right here." He turned the clipboard over and I could see my name written in a slot in what looked like my own hand writing. My eyes bulged with fear when I looked back up at the door and the loss it represented”
Dialogues : Dialogue floated beautifully between the characters and they wasn't boring at all.
SETTING :The story is setting in modern time
CHARACTERS: All the characters are well developed. I especially liked the character “Kyle”. You crafted him so beautifully.
SUGGESTION I like the way how you wrote this story. Dialogues flowed beautifully. I understand this is the first chapter that’s why too many events have been happening here. I think it may fit on the next chapters later on. I learned that a story without enough description is missing something. The description gives your story the life it needs. So, I think in some places you need to give some descriptions. I think you can add some monsters/demons characters to make it more interesting. Otherwise, it’s a beautiful story.
I can’t wait to read another chapter from you. I enjoyed it reading.
: The title caught my eyes. I just read it form review request page. You wrote down your thought beautifully that made me read your story to the end.
: People have long been thinking about living in red planet Mars. The fourth planet from sun. Its temperature is much like our earth. Although, some believe that the It’s freezing temperature, and atmosphere still not suitable for human habitation. Yet people are trying to make the planet Mars as a second planet for us.
: I can see the reflection of thought in your science fiction. I like the images you have painted here.
I liked the character “Nathan”. You have good descriptions of your characters.
I'd have liked to have seen a bit more from some of the characters – especially Kumar Hassan.
I think if you add some more Chapters that would be interesting.
}: This is a good piece of story. Keep writing. You are an awesome writer.
I read your poem.
I like this poem because each stanza is beautiful. The poem is beautiful not only because it brings innovative life in words but also captures the moment of life. Being with nature is really wonderful.
Here you are crafted all those by some good word choice. greens in sunlit hours, Flash floods wash out roads, Worms appear on sidewalks, children clad in rain gear splish-splash and jump all the nature images creates a beautiful picture. It is just like entering a world of different rhythm. I like the repeated line " April showers bring more than May flowers."
I found you put the Punctuations where they are needed. Though I am not a writing expert and I learned that commas, periods, colons, and dashes signal the reader to pause briefly and absorb the significance of an image or thought.
I enjoyed reading your poem.
These are my thoughts and ideas alone. I hope you found them helpful. Not all of us see writing or any one piece in the same light. Please take what helps you from my comments and ignore the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read and review your writing. Keep up the good work, and best of luck with all of your writing.
It's been a pleasure to review your poem on behalf of Simply Positive Group. This review reflects my opinion only, and I am not a writing expert
Initial Impression :I like this gratitude poem. It is a beautiful poem for a heartfelt friendship. Friends are like treasures. A true friend's memories embedded in our hearts forever. I think Cathy too was very lucky to got a friends like you. I like the last three lines.
"I have treasured the good times so I'm prepared.
My tears for you I must swallow
For this path you take I can't follow
I enjoyed reading your poem very much."
This is a cute story. I like the beautiful images you have painted here. The way you wrote this piece kept me reading to the end. Thank you for sharing.
Once upon a time there was a fox. Everyday, he used to steal a chicken from a chicken farm and ate his fill. One day, he watched the news on TV that the chicken had bird flu_. Because of that, he stopped eating chicken. Until finally, he came to know that the chicken were vaccinated.
Mina
Fill in the Blanks (E) Here's a different type of short story to challenge the reader to help complete. Good Luck #2123141 by Bubblegum Jones
I just read this poem from nature genre list. I especially like this poem. The last stanza was my absolute favorite. Your poem flowed beautifully with your crafted words. The tone of this poem is soothing. You beautifully put your feelings into words. I admire every word choice.
My favorite:
“Luminescence, like a soft blush,
reveals our surroundings through our heart's glow,
illuminating that we are more than ourselves.
Discovered in solitude ... Hush.”
It's been a pleasure to review your poem on behalf of the “"The WDC Angel Army" . This review reflects my opinion only, and I am not a writing expert. I do hope you find something that is interesting or helpful to you.
Initial Impression:This is a beautiful gratitude poem
Favorite lines: She is your mother with all her heart for you
You are more important for her than she is for you
Suggestions:I think you need to capitalize all the first word in each line. Overall Impression : Beautiful poem. Keep writing.
It's been a pleasure to review your article on behalf of the “"The WDC Angel Army" . This review reflects my opinion only, and I am not a writing expert. I do hope you find something that is interesting or helpful to you.
FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a good piece of write with a lot of important information.
THE ARTICLE : the disease cancer is like a monster. Every year many people die this terrible disease. In today’s world, science and technology are moving so fast. Maybe some day we will find the way to beat this disease. The scientists are studying to find ways to prevent cancer. From this piece, I learned which foods prevent cancer. I learned that Greek Yogurt, omega-3, Chickpeas, Dark green leafy vegetables, Dandelions can help to fight cancer cells.
FAVOURITE PART Nuts, almonds for example with the inner "skin" on. That is where the cancer kicking agent is. It only takes a small handful of these cancer-fighting warriors to help prevent cancer from starting.
SUGGESTION A little bit of editing could make this piece more interesting. You can use writing ML. You need to put a paragraph break
OVERALL IMPRESSION: This is good piece of write. I learned many from this piece. Thank you for sharing. Keep writing.
I especially like this poem. The last two stanzas were my absolute favorite. Your poem flowed beautifully with your crafted words. The tone of this poem is soothing. You beautifully put your feelings into words. I admire every word choice.
My favorite:
“Like the sky she's boundless, and free
to be at the edge of terminus
where the ominous, stands obvious
of life with me”
I read your story. It's been a pleasure to review you on behalf of "Sipmly Positive Group."
FIRST IMPRESSION : This is a good story. You wrote this story from a cat's point of view.
THE STORY:I like the way how you wrote this story to observe their behaviors. Especially I like the dialogues of this story. It floated beautifully between the characters.
You have good descriptions of your characters. I like the ending. I understood your story has written for a contest so you focus on that part. I think it followed the prompt.
FAVOURITE PART:” I worked on those treats all night, but I couldn't get it open. I could smell them. Almost taste them. I was so aggravated, it woke me up. It was early, I know. But if he would have listened to me last night, he wouldn't have had to listen to me this morning!”
These are my thoughts and ideas alone. Keep up the good work, and best of luck with all of your writing.
I see that you have Anniversary this month. I am now reviewing one of your work.
This is a good piece of work. I love the description and the presentation of your work about “Audrey Hepburn”. I always love to watch old movies and Audrey is my favorite and I love watching her movies too. I have seen many of her movies, especially I have seen Roman holiday several times. This is a beautiful movie. She acts well in the role of Princess Ann. She was the role model for girls in her time.
I learned many about Audrey Hepburn from this piece. I learned that she was married twice. She is considered a Fashion Icon. She was a singer. Thank for sharing.
These are my thoughts and ideas alone. Happy Writing!
Initial Impression: I like the overall concept . Thanks for sharing this important message.
Theme and Creativity: I appreciate the simplicity and the rhyming of this poem. Your rhyming scheme is absolutely beautiful. It flowed beautifully with your crafted words. The tone is soothing.
Favorite lines:
I like your poem because you have original thought in your writing.
Although it sometimes causes them to have moments of dismay,
They will take on the burdens, shouldering the blame,
The nice guys have their bragging rights to claim,
They are triumphant over chaos, at the end of the day.
Overall Impression: This I like the overall concept . Thanks for sharing this important message.
I read your poem from the nature genre list. I love this acrostic poem of autumn. It describes how beauty lies in everything. Each season brings different looks and beauty.
I like the beautiful nature picture you painted here. Leaves yellowish and brown,squirrels, dog all things blended together creates a beautiful natural picture. This poem flowed beautifully with your crafted words.
Favorite lines:
"In autumn grounds are full of
Leaves yellowish and brown,
On which squirrels jump and run,
Venturing across ground."
This is a lovely poem. I enjoyed it reading. I learned how to write a poem in abcb, 7-6-7-6 format. Thank you for sharing. Happy to meet a writer like you.
This is good piece of write. I like the way you put your feelings into words. I feel your pain I could totally relate your poem. The tone is soothing. The poem flowed beautifully with your crafted words.
Favorite lines:
We’re siblings living worlds apart
But you will live in my heart.
Miss you bro, but surely know
Within hearts our bindings grow.
These are my thoughts and ideas alone. Thank you for allowing me to read and review your writing. Keep up the good work, and best of luck with all of your writing.
I am reviewing you on behalf of ""Angel Review Forum" . This review is for"a very Wodehouse challenge" " Initial Impression: This is a wonderful piece of write beautifully told and written.
The Essay: I love this piece because main thought of this piece is about a book The Giving Tree. It’s written so beautifully that kept me reading to the end. I especially liked the introduction of the essay “I am moderately musical, moderately creative, moderately introverted, moderately liberal, moderately feminist, and moderately lazy”. I like how you wrote all your thoughts beautifully. I like the descriptions and presentation of your essay. I know that you wrote this essay for a contest “Essay Contest Prompt: If your house was on fire, what book would you take and why?” and I think you did a great job.
Suggestions :I didn’t find any mistakes.
}Overall Impression: I enjoyed it reading. I am glad to meet a writer like you.
These are my thoughts and ideas alone. Keep up the good work, and best of luck with all of your writing.
First impression: This is a wonderful poem. The title caught my eye.
the poem:This is a good poem packed with message. Concept is unique. This poem is beautiful inside every line. I love this piece especially the last stanza.
The above is false
untrue, unreal
The belief of Society
artificial, a fluke
All it takes is the wild
untainted, untouched
To bring us to ourselves.
I look forward to read more of your write.
These are my thoughts and ideas alone. Keep up the good work, and best of luck with all of your writing.
I am reviewing you on behalf of ""Angel Review Forum" . This review is for[item:1280691} "
First impression: Lovely poem. I like the beautiful nature picture you have painted here.
the poem: The poem is about spring. In spring nature looks charming and many kinds of beautiful flowers bloom during this season. The lovely roses win our hearts. I like the wording of this poem.
What I liked:
A rain of death has come forth,
Flowing through my nose, and pelting my eyes.
Suggestions:You need to put some line break to flow your poem.
I learned that a line break is a poetic device which is used to focus the reader's attention. Though I am not a writing expert but I think you can write like this
The age of beauty is over.
The time of yellow sickness has come.
A rain of death has come forth,
Flowing through my nose, and pelting my eyes.
I mustn't leave the safety of my home,
Until the storm is over.
Oh, how I long for those days of frost and snow,
Those days of red and green. But nay, that is behind me now.
All that awaits is a time of heat and illness.
Even when the rain of death ends,
The sun will blaze upon my back,
Burning my skin and blinding my eyes.
As I forever search for the fair maiden of winter
Overall: I enjoyed reading your poem. Thanks for sharing. It’s a wonderful poem
These are my thoughts and ideas alone. Keep up the good work, and best of luck with all of your writing.
First impression: This is a wonderful poem. The title caught my eye. I watched a film named love comes softly. It’s a wonderful movie. Your poem is as beautiful as the film. It touched me.
the poem: The poem is significant. I like the way how you put your feelings into words. You have lovely romantic thoughts inside every line. Yes, sometimes love is not a firework it come softly.
I like the rhyming of this poem. Your rhyming scheme (a,a,a,x) is absolutely beautiful. It flows beautifully that kept me reading. The tone is soothing. I like how each stanza ended with the same phrase “love comes softly”.
What I liked:
Fleeting doubts inside possess
a gathering of emptiness
upon which feelings never rest
love comes softly
Suggestions: I didn’t find any mistakes. I like the message that when we least expect it, we can find someone.
Overall: I enjoyed reading your poem. Thanks for sharing. It’s a wonderful poem
These are my thoughts and ideas alone. Keep up the good work, and best of luck with all of your writing.
It's been pleasure to review your story on behalf of the “The Earth day Challenge”. I am not a writing expert and this review is my opinion only.
You have written a very good piece of story; I liked the way you told the story with very clear descriptions and presentation. It is easy to read. I like this monologue based story. The story starts very beautifully with a thoughtful quote “The older you get, the more you give in to gravity.” You have original thoughts in your story.
The story:
The story is about an old man who lost his wife Marian many years ago. The old man used to visit the nearby park every day. One day he found a little puppy in the park. He named it Max after his dead friend.
Characters:
All the characters are well developed. I like these characters. You crafted them beautifully.
Dialogue : Dioulouge floated beautifully between the characters.
Favourite part: “ There are so many colors in nature. I look around now from this bench and I see them, but there are colors our eyes cannot see nor our minds can fathom. Does forgiveness have a color, Marian? I believe it does. I believe the color of forgiveness cannot be found in any flower, tree, or bird. But it can paint the hearts of old men. Not any impossibility exists from uniting the three of us in a higher realm. That’s what I believe Marian. That’s why I’ll always wear your ring. “
Suggestions:
I think you can make a bigger story from this piece. That would be very interesting.
This is an amazing thoughtful story and the ending was brilliant. I enjoyed it reading.
I just read your poem.I am reviewing you on behalf of the “The Earth day Challenge”. I am not a writing expert and this review is my opinion only.
I like your Haiku Sonnet poem.
The way you wrote this poem keeps me reading it from the beginning to the end. I like how every third line ended with the same phrase “The season is ripe.”
This poem is unique and flows beautifully with your crafted words. Your rhyming scheme makes this poem more interesting. I like the last stanza
"In Mother Nature's new clothes,
the earth celebrates rebirth."
You used the Punctuation marks which help the readers to read it smoothly. I learned how to write Haiku Sonnet.
This is a wonderful poem especially I like the ending.
Initial Impression : This is a wonderful piece of write with a unique concept. I like the proverbs. The title caught my eye.
The poem : We the human being rules the sea, air and land. Every day we constructed buildings and industry for our own comfort. Sadly we don't pay the respect that she deserves; we don’t think what will happen to our next generation. We pollute the air and water with toxic gases. I hope a day will come when all of us will start caring about the environment and nature to forget our personal matters.
Theme and Creativity:I love this piece because main thought of this piece is about our mother nature. It’s written so beautifully that kept me reading to the end. It describes lot of problems created by us (the human being).
Favorite part: "I am alarmed by the "need for greed" in oil and coal to be the end to all means for energy. I am disturbed by the pipeline leaks that continue to take place that destroy the earth, wildlife, and human lives, all of which can never be replaced."
Suggestions :I didn’t find any mistakes.
Overall Impression: . I enjoyed it reading.
These are my thoughts and ideas alone. Keep up the good work, and best of luck with all of your writing.
Happy Writing!
Mina
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: The title caught my eyes. I just read it form review request page. You wrote down your thought beautifully that made me read your story to the end. 
: People have long been thinking about living in red planet Mars. The fourth planet from sun. Its temperature is much like our earth. Although, some believe that the It’s freezing temperature, and atmosphere still not suitable for human habitation. Yet people are trying to make the planet Mars as a second planet for us.
: I can see the reflection of thought in your science fiction. I like the images you have painted here. 
I liked the character “Nathan”. You have good descriptions of your characters.
}: This is a good piece of story. Keep writing. You are an awesome writer.
OVERALL IMPRESSION: This is good piece of write. I learned many from this piece. Thank you for sharing. Keep writing. 
Suggestions :
}Overall Impression: 
First impression: This is a wonderful poem. The title caught my eye. 
