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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nixie9
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3,621 Public Reviews Given
3,660 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Template most of the time, covering setting/plot/characters/conflict/resolution if applicable. For shorter works, I concentrate more on feelings evoked.
I'm good at...
Short story, chapter reviews and in-depth reviews.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi, Romance, mystery, children's, comedy
Least Favorite Genres
Historical
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novel chapters
Least Favorite Item Types
essay, editorial, non-fiction, somebody's homework assignment
I will not review...
*Bulletb* XGC, *Bulletb* Items that are written in a small font with little or no spacing, *Bulletb* I am unable to review any pieces involving abuse of any kind to anyone. I like to keep my corner or the world happy, because I grew beyond my "challenges" of childhood and don't want to look back.
Public Reviews
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1
1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Temperance Stone

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

*Baretree3*
Overall Impression
"The Death of a Writer" is an interesting read about a woman who is failing in life and career.

She has a chance to grow and move forward, but falls into drinking. I was thinking that since she'd accomplished so much perhaps the end of her writing career wouldn't be disastrous. Her writing takes her to different places and gives her a chance to invent and create other worlds. From what I've read here, she might be in jeopardy if she lost that outlet.

I'm not sure about anyone else, but when my writing stalls it depresses me. My negative thoughts overwhelm me, and that is an ugly ride through life.

*Baretree3* Considerations
A name or some other way to identify the character would have made this an easier read. Check out the number of times her or she is used in a sentence. It's distracting.

Notice in the opening sentence how I presented your title with correct capitalization.

*Baretree3* Lasting impression
The realistic and (predictable) closing of her story made sense. What a shame though, for this brilliant woman to rely on alcohol as a means to escape her inability to write. Keep writing!


Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
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2
2
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Lonewolf I found your item here, in the winner's circle. "The Writer's Cramp" Open in new Window.

*Vine1*
Overall impression
It's always my delight when I see your work posted somewhere. Anything you write sticks in my head. Your stories follow the 'rule' of less equals more.

Textbook opening. From the first paragraph the reader is immediately immersed in the story. The foreboding setting set my nerves on edge and then the main character entered because he must. Setting, conflict, protagonist, fit in the exactly correct place. The beginning.

Well chosen strong adjectives enhanced the sense of dread.

*Bulletg*"The Song of Trees" made me think of a 'quote' from Dean Koontz> loosely remembered *Down*
Set up the characters and then send in the monsters.

*Vine1*
Stand outs
flowers bloomed in impossible hues; blues like forgotten skies, reds that bled memory
'The reds that bled' felt like a gut punch.

Watch out for the use of semicolons.

*Vine2*
Lasting impression
A masterful story with vivid imagery and a chilling ending. What more can a reader hope for?

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
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3
3
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Unratable.)
Hi Hibernatin' tato🌲

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


*Baretree3*
Overall Impression
I liked the unique setting for this story. Not many write about mermaids. The central character, Nikola, is established beyond doubt as a shyster. For the reader, the entrance of the serious men set up the take down. The quote at the top alerted the reader. Kids would be the clever ones. So, not much to go on other than the strength of the plot.

*Right* It seems to me this story was difficult to execute, due to the uniqueness. I admire you for taking on this plot.

*Baretree3* Considerations
Many red flags stopped me short. Mistakes will do that. Here's a few examples. Because this is an anniversary review and a celebration, I'll pick out one of two problem areas.

*Bulletg* Moving to Texas had been a last resort. If his illusions didn't sell or the cops arrested him for fraud again.
The second 'sentence' is a phrase that isn't linked to anything.

*Bulletg*"You bet, but you gotta pay twelve bucks to get in."
"Okay, here you go!"
Insert a paragraph break when characters are switched.

*Bulletg* "Good work, Wilma," one of the officers said as they hauled the frauds to their squad car.
Who is Wilma?

*Bulletg*Still, it wasn't like Nikola didn't pay her...
More is less. For example > the pay was decent.


*Baretree3* Lasting impression
I'm conflicted. I liked the originality. The plot ran fast, probably due to word count restrictions. In the end, I'm leaving the story behind with a small smile on my face.

I think this was written for a contest, so good job taking on that challenge. *Smile*

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
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4
4
Review of MATCHBOX UNDIES  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Salutations and Congratulations Maid of the Mist Most Macabre

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

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*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
Barbie dolls! I'd forgotten all about them. I remember the fuss, years later, concerning her ridiculous body that gave girls unrealistic wants. Funny, as I kid, Barbie's body only seemed weird in that she had no undergarments. Smart and clever Grandma B rectified that. So sad the undies were lost.

Oops
Being understandably miniscule and almost microscopic ,of Barbie-doll
proportions
misplaced comma

*Bulletg* The paragraphs are off a bit, probably due to word programs disagreeing with each other.

*Asteriskg*Personal reaction
I had the full Barbie Doll kit, complete with carrying case. My next door neighbor was a tom-girl (now there's a label long since discarded). Farther down our circle, where our houses were, I had a friend who loved to play with Barbie dolls. The trouble was trying to sneak that carrying case on the opposite side of my bike in the hopes that my neighbor wouldn't see me. Somehow, she always did and laughed at me.

My sister created clothes for her kids from her husband's castoff suits. She didn't need a pattern. Me? Same problem as you. All I had to do was look at the sewing machine and the bobbin snapped. Is bobbin the right word?

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
You covered everything Barbie from A-Z with subplots ranging from direct personal experience to family interaction. What a fun story to read.

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
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5
5
Review of The Lake  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Salutations and Congratulations Dave Ryan

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

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*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
Way to break my heart. From the first stanza the mood is set. By the end of that stanza, a red flag goes up. The second stanza expounds, and the dreaded reality settles in. Still, the last stanza is a natural conclusion...falling asleep and never waking. And that day was so beautiful. The person passed while in his favourite place, rather than a hospital bed.

The secondary character is implied, no specifics needed. I'm sure most of us are familiar with the meaning. I liked the gentle rhyming scheme and the easy flow of the words that read like a lullaby.

Punctuation is often an issue. No punctuation fits this piece perfectly.

What I didn't understand was the genre win, as none of the genres awarded appeared in the selection.

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
Midst the sunflowers' yellow glow

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
When I think of death it's always dark, as experience has taught me. Thanks for the quiet effect your poem created for me.

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
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6
6
Review of Merry Go Round  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Salutations and Congratulations Wraiths Wheeling Widdershins

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*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
You're right. Life is a merry-go-round, especially if we strive to catch that ring. We're on the same wavelength here.

The quandary is, do we accept what we see, or do we look in mirrors and see countless images of ourselves, people we could/would/ have been had we made different choices, and send out to the universe the wavelength we want to be in harmony with.

The merry-go-round song is sort of a tortured voice, tinny and grating on the nerves. The harmony is discordant, mirroring life. Your prose (reading inside the words) expresses that.

*Asteriskg*
Emotions evoked
I placed myself at a carnival and looked at the pretty horses. Which one did I like the most? Would my parents allow me to ride again if I wanted a different one for a second time around.

That thought works for life itself, as well. The audio book I'm listening to directs my mind to see what I hadn't seen before. For example, walk the same path, maybe in a park one time. At another time, go back, and see what you hadn't before.

I can link this to movies, but in a ha-ha way. I can watch the same movie again and notice what I hadn't seen before.

*AsteriskG*
Observations
Some of the lines rhymed, or nearly rhymed, which gave me pause to read the prose over again and again, seeing what I'd missed before. The end result is always the same. Why not choose a consistent rhyming pattern? And, now to contradict myself, prose is loosely defined.

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
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7
7
Review of Stolen  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Salutations and Congratulations Sarah Rae

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

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*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
Outstanding prose creation for the prompt. When I read it, I liked the double meaning. I'm not sure if that's what you intended, but that's the reaction I had. The light within her was stolen (metaphorical). In the last stanza she opened a door to see the light, which could be read as either truth, although ironic, mostly metaphorical.

The more thought that comes to mind, the more I disregard my double impression. If the first part was metaphorical, then the ending must be as well. My thoughts waver back and forth. I'll stick with the double meaning because that was my first impression.

How sad that when the light first returned she found the need to hide it, lest it be stolen again. The last paragraph was triumphant.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
I know who the charmer was in my life. The destruction of me lasted for years, and most of it was never noticed until a catastrophe hit, and the full impact broke me. I work every day to return to my place of serenity. Thanks for giving me a moment to ponder.

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
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8
8
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Salutations and Congratulations THANKFUL SONALI Party Hopping!


*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
Your prose was simply beautiful in the telling of a broken engagement. A disaster painted in careful phrasing.

I like roses to symbolize romance, mostly because of the thorns that reveal their true personality.

The first and last stanza are the same for a particular form of poetry? I write free verse, and have no idea of any specifics. At any rate, the prose flowed flawlessly.

If you will indulge me, your prose reminded me of a former marriage. As I read, the same thoughts circled in my brain. It actually hurt to immerse myself in the verses, nodding my head as I continued.

My first husband was so incredibly sweet on the outside, at least in the beginning, but that didn't last long. I stayed married for fourteen miserable years. I'm not a fan of 'lessons learned' to help later. A few years after the first, I married a guy who also treated me badly.

Think about putting that well-deserved, beautiful Quill image at the top of the page. *Wink*

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
Only the thorns are seen
Is this what it looks like,
the ending of a dream?

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
I could never throw something from nature onto a rubbish heap, even though we're only talking about symbolism here. I would have to return it to earth, where it could decompose in a familiar environment, among friends.

The repetition of the first and last stanza closed the poem like a tragic book. The phrasing was exceptionally powerful that way.

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
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9
9
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Salutations and Congratulations elizjohn

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*Asteriskg*
Why did I choose to review this prose?

*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
For some reason, I'm drawn to tragic stories or prose/poems. I'm in a dark place, and here shall I dwell. Happy endings depress me, although I don't begrudge anyone their happiness or their need if they love happy endings to writings. (Note my overuse of the word love. It was intentional.)

Your prose isn't precisely dark. I found it interesting, but not compelling. No emotions were evoked. The poem was beautiful, especially the first few lines. I did have to read them twice. The thumbnail image led me to believe that the phantom could write on a piece of paper.

I liked the consistent no punctuation approach. Do you want to finalize the prose with a full stop?

In poetry, it can be difficult for a reader to connect. Your brief description defines the motive; a response to something sent to you. That could be the reason for lack of connection.

Poems are sometimes personal, like this one, and that can create the disconnection.

*Asteriskg*
Considerations
*Bulleto*and you take with you your verse
Rewording this sentence is necessary.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
Please remember, I am only one person with an opinion. Although the remarks above may feel like an attack, I meant no such thing. Rather, I explored my own feelings by reading the prose. *Checkg*

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
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10
10
Review of It’s A Mess  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Salutations and Congratulations Whiskerfacedrinkingcider

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

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*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
I like the honesty and nonjudgmental nature of this piece. It's so easy to look back, or forwards, or in the present, to constantly bemoan our perception of where we've messed up. I've learned that expectations lead to disaster. That's why I write for myself, trying (and not always succeeding) to dwell on 'what will others think' when I'm working on a particular piece. What flows from me stems from some version of personal experience.

It's good that you can laugh at 'prior you' but now I'll contradict myself. I'd still be careful in judging. What made sense years ago may seem foolish now, but it's important to accept with grace and compassion who we once were.

How wonderful and exciting to step out of your comfort zone. I write what comes to mind, and usually delete anything that flops. I created a 'book' set to private where I begin stories/poems or whatever I'm unsure of. I save the mediocre ones because parts of them may be useful for something.

*Bulletg* Going forward, consider using a larger font.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
Enjoying yourself and the writing process is the key to keeping one's sanity intact. Your last statement was one I applaud. That's a fantastic cap to complete your entry. You were never a mess. You were who you were. Now you're here being you.

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
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11
11
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Salutations and Congratulations AnaStar

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

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*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
"The Astral Collection" story shocked me. The first sentence made no sense at all (good job) and the reader was gently propelled forwards to the conclusion. At first, the story confused me and then I read the brief description that didn't give away the story, but that's when the big ah-ha came to me.

Though it's an unprofessional mark, my overall take was "How cool was that story?"

The mom is a super-mom, taking the items as they come, apparently having done this several times before. Hence the collection.

*Asteriskg*
Oops
All the first letters in the title should be capitalized, as indicated in the beginning and corrected here.

*Right* "The Astral Connection"


*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
Brace yourself for a silly worry on my part. I was dismayed because the mom taped the designation inside the ashtray, ruining the value. All I saw in my mind was a sticky residue.

Such a beautiful and unique story that entertained me as well as it provoked me.

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
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12
12
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Salutations and Congratulations

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

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*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
My take on this poem was entirely different from the intended message. Rather than thinking'outside' my mind turned inwards. The rocking chair was my safe place, but it's been lost amid turbulent thoughts.

The noises at night while camping brought to mind my terrible and paranoid personality. For me, there's always a creepy noise from somewhere, which I can never identify.

*Asteriskg*
Exploration
The poem begins peacefully, gradually leading the reader towards another scenario. What the husband thought was never expressed to his wife. Therefore, he's responsible for his unpleasant experience.

Kudos for your character who fought against his natural fear of something realistic, so well expressed in the final stanza.

The third stanza is missing a period, in contrast to all the other verses.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
While my take on the poem wasn't expected, I wanted to share it anyway. I like it when readers connect with my work, seeing something I did not.

Congrats on the publication.

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
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13
13
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Joto-Kai I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

Review sig

*Skull* Reader beware. Walk into this prologue and hope you'll be able to get out.


*Vine1*
Overall impression
You pulled me in with the first sentence. It created a sense of quiet unsettling. The words seemed to be positive, but along the way Gregor passes some people who run and hide from him when they see the flower. I think the woman by the side of the road is feared for selling the flowers, but Gregor found his own. I breathed a bit later.

Then I was so frustrated when Gregor couldn't speak his mind. Ismona was clearly waiting for him to declare his love. Men can be so clueless. Or frightened by beauty.

From there, the plot shifts from uneasiness to foreboding. The words chosen created that bleak atmosphere. Honestly, I was scared.

Obviously, the implications of the prolouge are the teasers. I have a few questions, which I'm sure, will be answered in chapters to come. You're off to a splendorous start. If there are more chapters, maybe include a link to the next chapter.

*Vine1*
Observations/oops
The deed is done; I don't need your advice."
Missing quotation marks at the beginning of this sentence.

And For you, let it be a delight."
(for) should not be capitalized.

*Heart*
Favorite sentence, and the one following. So graphic, so disturbing.
The words slithered in his memory, into the depths of his past.

*Vine2*
Lasting impression
Master Soren alone will live. What is his end game?

A chilling conclusion. Expertly written.

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
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14
14
Review of Destiny  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Sumojo I found your item while cruising through random reviewing. How do I always end up in your port? Now you have to endure another review from me.

*Vine1*
Favorite line
“I followed the cloud,” she explained, “what does it mean?”
That one sentence encapsulates the story's essence. But even from the beginning, the reader sympathizes with her. Six brothers? And poor Sarah is relegated to the work expected from a female.

Had the prompt words not been in bold, I'd never have noticed them. How in the world did you find such a unique plot?

Next, we see Sarah's bravery. She's never rebelled against her circumstances, yet she's not happy with being rated less than. Deep within her is a knowing, and she has no hesitation in beginning her journey without questioning the exact conclusion of her quest.

*Vine1*
Observations
Sentence three, first paragraph, is nearly a run-on.

*Vine2*
Lasting impression
Being the sister with three brothers, all I have to say is, ha-ha, guys. Little sister exceeded you, yet still maintained her innocence.

A lovely story.

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
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15
15
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings, BScholl I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Star* Stacy’s 'mommy alarm' started ringing. Something was up, and she knew it wasn’t good.
This sentence describes every moment of my son's toddler years. I called him my wild child. The title "Demon Child" seems harsh to me.

*Vine1*
Overall impression
The first sentence sets the mood (tense) and shouts reader beware. Stacy has a keen insight into Wesley from past experiences, and she's always on guard. Wesley's any mothers' nightmare. A mother of a child like this knows that Stacy's brief distraction spells doom. I like how this sentence neatly slots inside the narrative.

Consider using italics for the first part of the sentence.
*Star* That was her mistake, she told herself later.

*Vine1*
Observations/oops
I have to release an observation before I begin the review. Why was there pepper in the car?

Also
The windows were all rolled down, but Stacy kept a leery eye on him.
Try as I might, this sentence makes no sense to me. How do rolled down windows match up with Stacy's leery eye?

*Vine2*
Lasting impression
Despite my objections noted above, I ended up with a smile on my face. Cute story.
Congrats on the win. Maybe everyone else understood what I could not.

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
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16
16
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Greetings maggie Nixie here.
I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

Review sig


*Gembl*
Overall impression
A fun read and a quirky little poem.

The title is fantastically appropriate. The unique title caught my eye. What happens is still a surprise, but consider not giving away the content by ending with (disappear).

I can imagine reading this story to my grandchildren, when they were younger. If a kid is learning colors, this story would also be helpful.

I had to laugh when the kid yelled (never). It brought to mind my mom's advice, never say never.

You made me laugh again in the 7th stanza. How you showed the kid's reaction was simple and descriptive. Beginning with

I had to leave the classroom...

*Gembl*
Observations/oops
The poem could benefit from a once-over to catch minor blips like misplaced commas.

The colours are my friend!
friends

I thought about the words I 'd said, *Right* I'd

*Gembl*
Lasting impression
Your poem is uplifting, something we all need as the world turns and turns again, until no one knows what's right or wrong.

*Gembl*
Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
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17
17
Review of Readjusted  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Salutations and Congratulations Sumojo

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*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
"Readjusted" is a story which has only seven lines. However, it's one of those stories that reminds us to be concise and remember that less is more. The first sentence is an innuendo, a glimpse into the plot. As the story goes, each sentence builds on the other, giving us a broader picture. I can relate, so, Sue, you'll have to endure a short recollection.

*Asteriskg*
Personal Connection
Freshman year in college, I was dating a guy on the guy's side of the dorm. We had just entered the restaurant, when close on my date's heels was the guy's roommate. Buzz kill. Except the roomie pulled out my chair and charmed me as we ate our pizza. The guy I was dating bored me and ignored me. The roommate was so incredibly sweet, that, after college, we married.

Watch out for those men who spoon themselves into your life. The ones who make you smile every day. My ex is (was) a psychopath who terrorized in subtle ways, until he nearly broke me. I didn't want a divorce. Was I intentionally blind or naive? A bit of both. On top of everything else, years and years of being mentally tortured, I learned he was a drug dealer. 14 years later, I finally divorced him.

*Questiong* The formatting was a bit off. A paragraph after the first few sentences seems appropriate. Was this written in a different program and then c/p over here? That will mess with formatting. Or delete that line break and keep all the sentences together.

(Was) isn't a passive verb. But the many times it was presented seemed redundant. Let me take a wild guess here. Was "Readjustment" written for a specific contest?

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
Should the third sentence be the first, introducing the main character, or was it intentionally written to be obscure? The title and brief description fit the story without spoiling the surprise. The title was exceptionally astute and enticing. Very nicely done.

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
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18
18
Review of Chapter One  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Salutations and Congratulations Dan Hiestand

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*Asteriskg*
The draw
I liked the title and brief description. There's a soft spot in my heart for outriders, (which my eyes at first saw as outliers) or anyone living on the edge, doing jobs that no one spoke of.

*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
Due to the small font, I nearly passed on reviewing this chapter. But there was enough white space, easing eye-strain.

I admired the presentation, with the dividers so captivating, sectioning chunks of story from one another. One may have questioned why the story began 10 years later, as I did. That small font...words ran together, making it easy to miss something important...why the story began 10 years later.

There is so much material here to dwell upon, it's almost too much to absorb. And there's so much telling...

A suggestion. The second part of the story is far more interesting than the first, which left me unimpressed.

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
What an amazing this sentence would have been as an opening scene.
The frozen night sky was on fire, blistering with the terrible beauty of magical warfare and splashing the plain in colors no one living had witnessed before.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
I did click on the second chapter, hoping for some clarity. But by then, my eyes were burning. Seeing that this was written years ago, I doubt another review would be of interest to you.

At any rate, there are nuggets of gold easily missed, too many important details running together. And characters unclear as to appearance and importance. I couldn't appreciate the pecking order of who was in charge. Mostly, I see potential.

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Nixie
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19
19
Review of Bella  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Salutations and Congratulations Gratefully IE

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*Star* I found something else to review in your portfolio. The title "Bella" was the name for my son's service dog. She helped him deal with his PTSD, so I was naturally drawn to the story.


*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
"Bella" is a tail (purposely spelled that way. ha ha.) of relationships building between a dog, a puppy, and a married couple. Natasha was my favorite character, although I felt a close second connection to Bella, who knew the puppy was the right choice for her.

Animal shelters break my heart—all those dogs barking and hoping for a home. And once again, we 'hear' from Bella, who mourns the situation.

The descriptions of everything, and Natasha's narration, kept me smack-dab in the scene.

Fantastic presentation with an enlarged font and perfect amounts of white space.

*Asteriskg*
Questions
Carhartts (?)
I had no idea what Carhartts were, so I googled it. The clothing they make seemed suited to cold weather. But what do I know? Consider a footnote or a drop down menu to explain the term for dummies like me. I bet it's a regional term.

Bella grumbles but stays seated, shifting her weight from one front paw to the other.
I can't picture this. Shouldn't she be standing up? Am I missing something?

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
Are readers and reviewers ready for a special story to read? Go no farther. You've found the ideal place right here.

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Nixie
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20
20
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Salutations and Congratulations {huser:

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*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
The optimism expressed here sheds a new light on what life hands us. But it's not true for me. Every morning when I wake, anxiety, with a double x, floods my brain. If that means I'm alive, well, that doesn't mean I'm optimistic and grateful for my life. It means Oh no. Not another day to go wrong.
 I'm alive but, due to circumstances beyond my control, I'm not living.

Clothes that no longer fit make me feel guilty that I'm not exercising. The mess around me doesn't mean I had friends at my house. I have no friends.

*Asteriskg*
Questions
Has the world started a new trend? Do we now abbreviate you to u? or "you are' to u r? I'd imagine seeing that in a social media post, but not here, where we're all striving to become better writers.

The fact is that there is no chance of another life.!
Choose either a period or an exclamation mark, but not both.

You will never get out of it alive........
Ellipses are restricted to three dots.

For what it's worth...
The title "Live it, Love it, and Enjoy it." needs correction, as indicated here.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
Nothing I've written is meant to disparage your work. I appreciate the take on finding joy and optimism that overturned depression and feeling miserable.
It's my choice to make a difference for myself. I am responsible for my feelings.

Thank you for your wise words that will inspire people.

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Nixie
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21
21
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Salutations and Congratulations amy-Finally writing a novel.

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*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
Why did I choose to read "The Bluebird Hotel"? I liked the title.

My mind came alive as I read the first descriptive paragraph. Such vividness in the words placed me there. As the plot progressed, more and more of the hotel was revealed. I wasn't overly alarmed, merely curious and wishing it were me seeing and experiencing the interstices of the hotel.

My alarm went off when the receptionist was described. What was truly in her smile was truly a warning.

*Asteriskg*
Let's talk it out ▼

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
The final paragraph was a let down, going out with a sigh, something of little interest to the reader. In the beginning there was more showing that created a feeling of intimacy between the reader and the words.

*Blueberry* I would have enjoyed staying in the hotel to draw my own conclusions. It sounds inviting to me. Keep writing!

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22
22
Review of Nature's Band  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Salutations and Congratulations D.L. Robinson

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*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
"Nature's Band" is an expressive and unique prose written to delight the reader. I find nature soothing but have never thought about the concept of the sounds being a band. Absolutely beautiful, full of sensory experiences.

The italicized words add an elegant flaunt to the overall appearance. The one problem is the small font. If I read some of my older pieces, the font has not been increased, and maybe that's what happened here.

Anyway, as a demonstration of sorts, at first glance I read
Babies' eyes at birth. and saw : Barbie's eyes at birth.
I knew that made no sense, so I squinted more, until I saw (babies).

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
I liked the last stanza for I long to be in a place where no other stands. People annoy me. My favorite 'nature vision' is of mountains and lakes. My dream world left behind when I had to move.

Here, the frogs sing in chorus. Small ones begin, and one by one, the others join, until the bullfrog croaks. Silence hangs for a bit before the chorus begins again.

I miss the crickets' song.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
Thank you for sharing your work and changing my mood from blah to awe.

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Nixie
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23
23
Review of Winter in Hamburg  Open in new Window.
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Salutations and Congratulations Gratefully IE

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*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
Well, after reading the last few lines, my eyes are burning with held-back tears.

"Winter in Hamburg" takes the reader along with mom and daughter in this poignant story. The characters are equally endearing. I can't choose a favorite. Each one needs the other to show the reader what's being observed. Peppered with emotions, both sad and happy, we're not only traveling with the words, we're riding a roller-coaster of emotions.

I am proud of the daughter, meaning yourself?, for fulfilling her mother's wish. I've always wanted to visit Germany, and with a native speaker in tow, I would be able to avoid all the tourist shops, and instead, visit a more intimate experience.

Having googled Hamburg, the pictures looked far more commercialized than I expected. Americanism is spreading, unfortunately.

The words written in German are translated in the foot notes. I know a bit of the language, and surprised myself because I understood most of them (or their intent).

The font size and generous spacing make this an easy read for everyone, and also for those of us who are old(er).

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
I laugh at her excitement over a good cup of coffee, but that’s Mom for you.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
I want to thank you for the marvelous word journey because I'll never see Germany for myself. I have a feeling you'll win a Quill for this beautiful story.

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Nixie
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24
24
Review of Paige and Donnie  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Salutations and Congratulations tracker

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*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
"Paige and Donnie" promised to deliver a powerful tale. The vagueness gave hope. It's a sad story that desperately needs dialogue. Rather than telling a story, the reader likes to experience the story. They want to feel as Paige felt.

Donnie is a secondary character who is also sadly lacking. Who was he? What did either character look like. Show us how the couple interacted.

The first paragraph is a non-starter. The sequence makes no sense, and there's nothing exciting going on. Nothing to urge the reader to continue. All writers have is the opportunity to snag the readers attention in the first sentence or paragraph.

*Asteriskg*
Oops
Fourth *Paragraph* Noone was around > No one

Fifth *Paragraph*
*ExclaimBr* All punctuation inside quotation marks.

“You are coming with me, Paige”, >
“You are coming with me, Paige,"

and think about the trouble you caused”.
and think about the trouble you caused."

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
You have a valiant try here. Going forward, if my ideas work for you, try and try again. It's our oops-es that make us better writers.

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Nixie
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25
25
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Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Salutations and Congratulations turtlemoon-dohi


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*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
"Rain's Healing Sound" is a beautiful and informative poem. I hope it's okay to write informally how much Native Americans fascinate me.

The cover art is poignant and spiritually moving. I wonder what this poem would look like if the full image was at the top. I'll admit it's a wondrous surprise to discover the image at the end of the poem.

As a kid, we lived in the Mohawk Valley, in NYS. Spooky occurrences happened all the time. All four of my siblings, and even my parents, experienced supernatural times that couldn't be explained. My memory is sketchy, but I think my dad later discovered that our house was built on the Mohawks grave. To this day, I feel awful about that.

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
This sentence makes so much more sense to me, sidestepping some traditional beliefs.

Traditional drummers sing love notes to Great Mystery.
Echoes of trilling travel to the skies, as a plea for life's harmony.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
I find the rain to be healing. I don't even carry an umbrella. Rain is like a gift for me. Thanks to you for expressing my thoughts so movingly.

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Nixie
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