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2,801 Public Reviews Given
3,468 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
True algorithm ia in response from the reviewed. Honed craft over 17 years. I see the good, with an eye to potential. Will never be/play authority of someone else’s words. That’s left to the master of the work. The artist has the vision; I just react/review, illuminate a fuller perspective to overcome challenges faced with those words. I see responses my reviews as affirming. *has references*
 
To see how I review, my feedback is public. Reviews can be set up through email. This page is limiting. *Smile* I accept review credits if I deserve rank. I accept merit badges as recognition, to be earned not bought…my opinion. I buy to support friends to maintain my shadowed equivalency, not pad. I have low vision, ADHD. it’s tripped me up. I dust off, get back in the game.
I'm good at...
Poetry, psychoanalysis. Ideas and notions on publishing process. I encourage writers with my reviews, look for strengths and give direction on how to make something better. I continue to correspond those who approach, when more to offer. I see what drives, use experience and the overarching mind, connect where each individual’s art derives. Hope to opine where it could take them with their craft. Like to believe, sometimes, before the writer knows themself.
Favorite Genres
nature, love, psychological, spiritual, inspirational, epiphany, emotional, drama, human interest, science, conspiracy, dystopian, fatalistic, speculative. Not cookie cutter fantasy realms or choose your adventure. Action/adventure. Unique, surprise.
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, fan fiction, some fantasy and sci-fi, or anything Lord of the Rings/Game of Thrones-ish.
Favorite Item Types
poetry, short story, essay/opinion/blog
I will not review...
I’m happy receive an email to discuss first. I set this to receive 9k. WDC gets the rest. No page here I know of to collectively or categorically see, compare reviewers for hire. That might be a worthy tool.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of On the Sidelines  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Response poem in review of: "On the Sidelines" 

Get in the Game

I am prosperity, what you've longed for,
Yet on the sidelines, you hesitate, ignore.
Determination's flame brought you to this place,
But sitting idly won't win the life's race.

The ambition's fire inside your heart,
Must be ignited from the very start.
On the bench, your dreams remain confined,
But on the field of action, they're redefined.

Adrenaline surges, your dream's not a dream,
It's a path, a journey, not as distant as it seems.
When opportunity knocks, don't just let it be,
Rise to the occasion, claim your destiny.

In the game of life, you hold the key,
To unlock the door to prosperity.
It's time to step up, embrace the call,
For in action and effort, you'll find your all.

Brian


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
2
2
Review of The Message  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Aelyah ,

Subject: Review and suggestions for The Message from Haven

Your story, "The Message," has compelling elements, drawing readers into a mysterious world. The introduction sets the stage effectively with the year 1456 and a cryptic message. Here are some thoughts to enhance and refine the narrative:

Introspection and Character Depth:
The introspective moments, recalling Dochia and her significance, are poignant. Consider delving deeper into Duncan's emotions and conflict, revealing more about his relationship with Dochia to evoke empathy from the readers. For instance, expand on specific memories that showcase their connection.

Dialogue and Tension:
The dialogue between Duncan and Dochia is crucial for building tension. Ensure that their interaction in the church is charged with suspense and urgency. For example, add more dialogue that conveys the desperation and stakes of the situation.

Pacing and Descriptions:
While the pacing is generally good, balance the introspective moments with action to maintain momentum. Use vivid descriptions to bring the setting to life, especially during Duncan's pursuit after throwing the pouch. Help readers visualize the scenes and feel the urgency.

Character Motivations:
Dive into Duncan's motivation for deciphering the message. Why does he risk so much for Dochia? Unveil more about his background or personal stakes to intensify the reader's investment in his quest.

Plot Clarity and Revelation:
The decoding process is intriguing, but ensure that readers can follow Duncan's thoughts clearly. Add a bit more detail on how he arrives at specific conclusions during the decryption, making it both intellectually engaging and accessible.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
Non-Animated Angel Army Signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
3
3
Review of Worm Meets Apple  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Josh S. ,

"Worm Meets Apple" is a delightful and whimsical exploration of a conversation between a worm and an apple. The poem embraces a comedic tone, weaving humor into the exchange between these unlikely characters. There arevarious elements of the poem I’d like to point out, including its style, theme, form, poetic devices, and other noteworthy aspects.

The style of the poem is marked by its light-hearted and humorous approach. The dialogue between the worm and the apple creates a playful dynamic, engaging readers with the comedic interplay between the two characters. The language is accessible and straightforward, enhancing the overall charm of the piece. The use of dialogue as a narrative device adds a theatrical quality, allowing readers to envision the amusing exchange unfolding.

The main theme centers around the humorous interaction between the worm and the apple, highlighting their contrasting perspectives on status and identity. The poem playfully explores notions of nobility, honor, and pedigree through the whimsical dialogue. The theme aligns with comedic traditions, employing satire to gently poke fun at social hierarchies and notions of superiority.

The form of the poem consists of short, quippy lines that contribute to its rhythmic and comedic quality. The brevity of the lines enhances the pacing, allowing the humor to land with precision. The poem follows a conversational structure, with each character taking turns expressing their thoughts. This conversational style contributes to the comedic flow of the narrative.

Poetic devices, such as rhyme and personification, add to the overall whimsy. The rhyme scheme, evident in lines like "lean" and "green" or "agree" and "pedigree," adds a musicality to the verses. Personifying the apple and the worm imbues them with distinct personalities, creating a relatable and amusing exchange between the two characters.

Suggestion for improvement could involve expanding on these comedic elements and introducing additional layers of humor. Consider incorporating more wordplay, puns, or unexpected twists to enhance the comedic impact. For example, you might explore the absurdity of the worm and apple engaging in a conversation about nobility and pedigree, playing up the incongruity for comedic or ironic effect.

Experiment with variations in line length or structure to emphasize key moments or punchlines within the poem. Adjusting the pacing through strategic line breaks can enhance the overall rhythm and impact of the comedic elements. Readers will take cue from a strategically structed poem.

I found "Worm Meets Apple" to be a charming and humorous piece that should captivate a particular reading audience, with its playful use of dialogue and the depicted comedic and farcical approach to identity. Its light-hearted style and thematic focus can make this an enjoyable and entertaining poem that successfully engages with its comedic intent.

I'm happy to have discovered your poetry that I may lend this feedback.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!


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4
4
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Serendipitypity ,

It’s a little early, but offering a review in recognition of your first anniversary in this writing community.

"Through The Grape Vine" is a thoughtful journey of love, separation, and the enduring connection through the metaphorical grapevine. Let's explore the notable aspects of this heartfelt poem you’ve crafted.

The poem's style is characterized by its lyrical and reflective nature. The choice of language and imagery creates a vivid and emotional landscape. The portrayal of the woman in the sticks, dancing on daisies and swaying through thorns, paints a picture of a complex and vibrant character. The phrase "letters that drove me crazy" conveys the intensity of emotions, introducing an element of longing and desire.

The theme of love is central, and the use of the grapevine as a metaphor adds depth to the narrative. The grapevine becomes more than a physical connection; it symbolizes the enduring thread that ties the narrator to the woman. This theme resonates with readers on a universal level, as many can relate to the complexities and challenges of love, especially when separated by physical distance.

The form of the poem contributes to its emotive impact. The progression from the initial joy and admiration to the heartbreaking separation is well-crafted. The introduction of the north wind and the subsequent temptation add a layer of conflict and tragedy, creating a compelling narrative arc. The poem effectively captures the cyclical nature of love, echoing the ebb and flow of emotions.

The poetic devices employed, such as alliteration in "Softly spoken and ailment based in stride," enhance the rhythmic quality of the poem. This line, in particular, conveys the gentleness of the north wind and introduces an element of inevitability. The use of personification in "The sun, ungainly in its rays, could bear no soul" adds a touch of melancholy, depicting the emotional impact of the woman's departure.

The symbolism of the Mastaba as a resting place for the woman and her Kingsman adds a layer of cultural and historical richness. It invites readers to contemplate the significance of this choice and reflects on the complexity of life and death.

A suggestion for improvement could involve exploring more vivid sensory details in the initial stages of the poem. Providing specific images or moments that capture the essence of the woman's presence in the sticks could further enhance the reader's connection to the characters and setting.

I say this often: Consider experimenting with line breaks and stanza structures to emphasize certain emotions or shifts in the narrative. For instance, breaking lines during moments of tension or realization can enhance the poem's rhythm and impact.

"Through The Grape Vine" is a beautifully crafted exploration of love, loss, and the enduring connections that persist even beyond physical separation. Its rich imagery, emotional depth, and skillful use of metaphor make it a resonant and memorable piece. A pleasure to have read your writing that I might offer this feedback. Have a happy anniversary, too.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
abd Anniversary Reviewer
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5
5
Review of Within  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Jamie Gonzalez ,

It’s your second WDC Anniversary coming up! Being such, I dug into your writing here to see if I can offer a review in recognition. Let's explore the depths of the poem "Within," a profound and emotive piece that speaks to the weight of self-created worlds and the beauty found within darkness.

The poem's style is marked by its simplicity and raw emotive power. The use of short, impactful lines contributes to the intensity of the emotions conveyed. The brevity of each line mirrors the weight carried by the speaker, creating a palpable sense of heaviness. This style effectively conveys the internal struggle and the burden the speaker bears.

The theme of darkness is pervasive, woven throughout the verses to create a vivid and enchanting portrayal. Darkness is not merely absence but a presence in itself, described as "beautiful and enchanting." This nuanced exploration of darkness as a reflection of the soul adds layers to the theme. It invites readers to contemplate the multifaceted nature of the speaker's internal world.

The form of the poem, particularly the use of short lines and stanzas, enhances its impact. The fragmentation mirrors the fractured nature of the speaker's thoughts and emotions. Each short stanza feels like a glimpse into the inner workings of the mind, creating an intimate connection between the speaker and the reader.

The metaphor of late books in a library waiting to be put back in their place is a striking and relatable image. It captures the weight of unresolved decisions and choices, stacking up like overdue books. This metaphor effectively conveys the sense of responsibility and the looming threat of consequences, enhancing the thematic depth.

Poetic devices, such as personification in "Each book telling my story," bring a vividness to the narrative. The books become witnesses, each with its own perspective, pages, paragraphs, and words contributing to the intricate layers of the speaker's identity. This personification breathes life into the metaphor, making it more than a mere analogy.

Suggestion for improvement might involve exploring opportunities to delve deeper into specific emotions or experiences that contribute to the heavy weight carried by the speaker. Consider expanding on the nuances of the beautiful darkness, providing readers with more insight into the complexities of the speaker's inner world.

Experiment with varied line lengths or structures to add a rhythmic dynamic to the poem. For instance, a longer, flowing line could contrast with the shorter, impactful lines, creating a sense of ebb and flow that mirrors the emotional landscape.

It was great considering, "Within,” a compelling exploration of the burdens we carry, and the beauty found within our own internal darkness. Its raw emotive power, vivid and stark imagery, plus effective use of metaphor, creates a resonant and thought-provoking offering that many can deeply connect with here.

It was a pleasure getting to know your writing and offering comment. Have a great anniversary month.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
6
6
Review of Bridges  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary inkerod ,

I took a look at your webpages and found plenty to review, to here now acknowledge your first anniversary at WDC with some reviews. Let's delve into "Bridges," which is a captivating narrative poem that weaves together themes of isolation, division, and the consequences of a hardened heart. The poem unfolds with a storytelling quality, blending vivid characters and an intriguing plotline.

The style of "Bridges" is marked by its narrative clarity, offering a distinct voice that carries the reader through the life and transformation of Harman. You, as poet, employ a conversational tone, allowing the reading audience to connect with the unfolding drama. The use of rhyming couplets adds a rhythmic quality to the verses, contributing to the poem's storytelling charm.

The overarching theme revolves around the consequences of Harman's aversion to bridges, both literal and metaphorical. The poem explores the impact of isolation, stubbornness, and the choices we make that shape our destinies. Harman's rejection of bridges becomes symbolic of his resistance to connections and the walls he builds around himself.

The form of your poem, utilizing rhyming couplets and a steady narrative flow, does well to enhance the storytelling aspect. The use of dialogue, such as Harman's defiant shouts, adds dynamism to the narrative, making readers feel the tension of the moment. The structured rhyme scheme aids in the poem's overall cohesion, providing a melodic quality to the unfolding tale.

Poetic devices, including metaphors and vivid imagery, enrich the narrative. The line "Something there is that doesn't love a wall" serves as a literary allusion, referencing Robert Frost's poem "Mending Wall." This adds depth to the narrative, inviting readers to consider the broader implications of Harman's resistance to bridges.

Suggestion for improvement might involve exploring opportunities to deepen the emotional impact of Harman's journey. Consider really getting into Harman's internal thoughts and emotions, provide readers with some deeper insights into the motivations behind his choices. This could further humanize the character and foster a stronger empathetic connection with those who approach this poem..

Experimenting with varying the length and structure of sentences to create dynamic pacing might also be useful, especially during pivotal moments in the narrative that could use extra emphasis. For instance, consider shorter, impactful sentences to further the intensity of Harman's shouts and the climactic scenes.

In conclusion, "Bridges" is a captivating narrative that explores themes of isolation and the consequences of resisting connections. Its storytelling charm, combined with effective use of rhyme and metaphor, makes it an engaging piece that prompts reflection on the impact of our choices. It also offers something for well-read poetry aficionados who can see the deeper connections.

A pleasure to have found you and your writing during your anniversary month.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!


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7
7
Review of The Sea  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Annivery ~WhoMe???~ ,

I read and considered the verses of "The Sea," a poem with interesting nature that immediately draws me into contemplation. The opening stanza, "Eighteen years, and here am I, caught between ocean and endless sky," sets the stage with a sense of temporal reflection, encapsulating a significant span of life within the vast expanse of the sea and sky. The juxtaposition of the finite "eighteen years" against the infinite "endless sky" creates a nuanced tension, hinting at the profound experiences awaiting exploration.

The thematic interplay between man and the sea surfaces in the second stanza, resonating with echoes of maritime lore and timeless tales of seafaring adventures. The anticipation is palpable as the speaker lies in wait, attuned to the mesmerizing call of the waves. This moment captures the essence of a universal yearning for exploration and connection with the enigmatic forces of nature.

Stylistically, the poem employs a rhythmic cadence that mirrors the ebb and flow of ocean waves. The simplicity of language enhances the accessibility of the narrative, allowing readers to seamlessly connect with the speaker's journey. However, the deliberate choice of words, such as "beckoned" and "loud fog horn," injects a layer of depth, inviting readers to consider the emotional undertones beneath the surface.

The recurring motif of the sea, framed as a lifelong companion, intensifies the speaker's emotional attachment. The lighthouse and its "loud fog horn" symbolize a navigational beacon, underscoring the enduring presence of the sea throughout the speaker's life. This thematic consistency reinforces the poem's cohesion and contributes to its resonance.

In terms of poetic devices, the use of personification is notable. Describing the sea as having the agency to "beckon" and casting nets as if preparing a home lends the natural elements a sense of intentionality. This anthropomorphic approach adds a layer of complexity, transforming the sea from a mere setting into a dynamic character with its own desires and actions.

As a suggestion, consider experimenting with metaphorical language which could enhance the poem's vividness. For instance, comparing the waves to storytellers weaving tales of the sea could infuse additional layers of imagery and metaphor, enriching the reader's experience. Suggestions if you consider revision, which by the time I find these pieces, most are not.

Glad to have happened upon you with your upcoming WDC Anniversary. It's been eighteen years, though I don't see you about as much anymore. Thanks for sharing your writing with the community.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!


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8
8
Review of Passing  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary crimsonette ,

An entire decade a member on this website and I stumbled into your writing looking for prose poems to read. So, to celebrate your account anniversary this month, a review of this particular offering.

Your prose poem "Passing" is a poignant contemplation of the cycle of life and significance of the moments between birth and death. The opening lines immediately draw the reader into a contemplative space, evoking emotions associated with loss and the transient nature of existence. The language is straightforward yet infused with a deep sense of reflection.

Your style is marked by simplicity and a directness of expression that enhances the emotional resonance of the poem. The use of imperative verbs in the opening lines, such as "Roll the stone," and "wipe away the tears," adds a sense of urgency, prompting the reader to engage with the themes of mortality and grief. The concise and declarative sentences contribute to the overall impact, allowing each statement to stand with its own emotional weight.

The theme revolves around the inevitability of death and the importance of cherishing the time spent between birth and passing. The metaphor of rolling a stone in front of a tomb symbolizes the finality of death, while the emphasis on celebrating shared time reflects a positive perspective on remembering the deceased. The poem encourages a focus on happy memories, laughter, love, and joy as enduring elements that outlast the physical presence of a loved one.

Formally, the prose poem structure allows for a fluid exploration of the theme, unencumbered by traditional verse constraints. The seamless flow of sentences mirrors the continuous nature of life and death, emphasizing the cyclical aspect of existence. Consider experimenting with brief pauses or varied sentence structures to introduce subtle shifts in rhythm, adding a dynamic quality to the contemplative narrative.

Poetic devices, such as metaphor and repetition, contribute to the emotional depth of the poem. The metaphor of rolling a stone in front of a tomb serves as a powerful image, encapsulating the finality of death. The repetition of phrases like "wipe away the tears" and "now is not the time to cry" creates a rhythmic refrain, underscoring the poem's emotional guidance. To further enrich the poetic elements, consider exploring variations in language or introducing subtle symbolism that enhances the layers of meaning within the contemplative exploration.

This introspective piece reflects on the transient nature of life, urging readers to focus on the positive aspects of shared experiences. Continue to experiment with poetic devices to deepen that emotional and thematic resonance. Your ability to convey profound reflections with simplicity and directness showcases a keen sensitivity to the human experience.

A pleasure. Happy Anniversary!

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!


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9
9
Review of Closest Friend  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Burntpoet ,

Your prose poem, "Closest Friend,” offers a surreal and whimsical journey through vividly imagined landscapes, invoking a sense of playful chaos and linguistic exploration. The opening lines immediately thrust the reader into a fantastical realm, where goats moo amidst fields of ginger and bread pudding. The use of unexpected and whimsical imagery sets the stage for a unique and imaginative narrative. The prose opens with a cascade of absurd and fantastical elements, evoking a dreamlike atmosphere.

Your style is characterized by its unrestrained and whimsical use of language, creating a kaleidoscopic tapestry of images and sensations. The melding of seemingly unrelated elements, such as goats, ginger, and a giant yet fertile toilet, contributes to the overall surreal quality of the prose. The playful tone is enhanced by phrases like "swash-buckling knees and tomato," which blend humor and creativity. This style invites readers to revel in the unpredictable nature of the narrative, embracing the chaotic beauty of imagination.

The theme of imaginative exploration and the interplay of seemingly disparate elements weave through the prose. The use of fantastical imagery creates a sense of whimsy and unpredictability, inviting readers to suspend disbelief and engage with the narrative on a creative level. The theme emphasizes the boundless nature of the imagination and the joy found in the unexpected connections between diverse concepts.

Formally, the prose piece adopts a free-flowing structure, unconstrained by traditional punctuation or line breaks. This form allows for a continuous stream of consciousness, mirroring the unrestrained nature of imagination. Consider experimenting with brief pauses or varied sentence structures to introduce moments of emphasis or rhythm, adding a dynamic quality to the narrative.

Poetic devices, such as alliteration and unexpected juxtapositions, play a significant role in enhancing the whimsical atmosphere. The alliteration in "swash-buckling knees" adds a rhythmic quality, contributing to the playfulness of the prose. The unexpected juxtaposition of elements, like "ginger and bread pudding," creates surprise and engages the reader's imagination. To further enrich the poetic elements, consider exploring metaphorical language or symbolic connections within the fantastical imagery.

"Closest Friend" is a delightful journey through a realm of creative imagination, celebrating the joy found in linguistic play and unexpected connections. Consider refining the form to enhance its dynamic quality, and continue to explore poetic devices to deepen the imaginative and thematic resonance. Your ability to craft a whimsical and unpredictable narrative showcases a keen sense of creativity.

It was treat to discover thieving your writing after 22 years on Writing.Com. Happy Anniversary!

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!


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10
10
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Peremos ,

"Humanity’s Last Funeral" invites me into a contemplative space, reflecting on the passing of humanity and the Earth's response to our absence. The poem considers themes of mortality, nature's resilience, and the enduring connection between humans and their home. Im interested in exploring various elements of this piece, including its style, theme, form, poetic devices, and any noteworthy aspects that should come up.

The style of your poem is marked by an introspective and reflective tone, inviting readers like me who ponder as well the consequences of humanity's departure and the Earth's subsequent transformation. The language is poignant, while conveying a sense of melancholy and nostalgia. The use of vivid imagery, such as "The Earth laments" and "Raindrops join in," creates a visual and sensory experience that enhances the emotional impact of your proferred poem.

The overarching theme seems to revolve around the cyclical nature of life and death, framed within the context of humanity's impact on the Earth. The poem contemplates the Earth's mourning for the loss of human presence and the subsequent renewal of nature in our absence. It explores the idea of a world thriving without human interference, presenting a bittersweet reflection on our fleeting existence. For some, this might be considered a reverence for this planet, that if it isn’t taken care of, all will die. And, humankind is responsible and clearly in the way of restoring what earth gives to sustain life. Another check in the AI column to terminate our species.

The form of the poem consists of quatrains with a consistent rhyme scheme, contributing to its rhythmic and melodic quality. The regularity of the form enhances the flow of the narrative and provides a sense of continuity, mirroring the cyclical themes within the poem. The use of enjambment, such as in "Raindrops join in, completing the scene," creates a seamless transition between lines, contributing to the fluidity of your poem.

Poetic devices, including personification and metaphor, enrich the poem with evocative imagery and emotional depth. The Earth is personified as a mourning entity, lamenting humanity's final act and offering its own flowers in response. The imagery of wind swaying leaves and raindrops joining in a harmonious melody imbues the Earth with a sense of agency and emotional expression. Earth likely will outlive man at the current rate of consumption. I’m reminded the urgency of the situation is very real.

Suggestion for improvement could involve exploring additional facets of the Earth's transformation in the absence of humanity. Consider looking at specific examples of nature reclaiming spaces or thriving anew. This could further emphasize the poem's themes and provide readers with a more immersive experience of the Earth's post-human landscape. I can envision something opening with various locations around the world, quieted, except peaceful in continuation. Silence, as if a camera cuts to every corner of the world. If a write like a script, something otherwise. Reviewing helps me stir new notions of what to write. This inspires creative juices for others.

You might be able to experiment with variations in line length or structure to emphasize key moments or emotions within the poem. Adjusting the pacing through strategic line breaks can enhance the overall rhythm and impact of the poem, guiding readers through the emotional landscape you've crafted. Just to consider for this or anything you write that clearly demonstrates messages/concepts to your readers.

"Humanity’s Last Funeral" strikes one as a contemplative and poignant exploration of the Earth's response to the end of human existence. Its introspective style, evocative imagery, and thematic depth make it a reflective piece that prompts readers to consider the interplay between humanity and the natural world.

A dark and intriguing journey for a reader to consume and internalize. Thank you for sharing.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
11
11
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Hmm? ,

"Weathering the Swan"  unfolds as a poignant prose poem, weaving themes of vulnerability, resilience, and the unpredictable nature of emotional storms. The opening lines immediately evoke a vivid image of a swan in distress, falling like a drugged creature with flapping wings and honking. This surreal and striking imagery sets the stage for a narrative that delves into the complexities of emotional states. The choice of the swan as a metaphor adds an elegant yet fragile layer to the piece.

Your style is characterized by a seamless blend of evocative language and emotional resonance. The metaphorical use of a swan falling, juxtaposed with the sickly warmth of paralysis, creates a visceral experience for the reader. The repetition of "Inner calmness defends" offers a rhythmic quality, emphasizing the internal struggle against the impending storm. Collectively, this invites readers to immerse themselves in this emotional landscape, connecting with the vulnerability expressed in the proffered prose.

The theme revolves around the unpredictable nature of emotional experiences and the resilience required to weather internal storms. The swan becomes a metaphor for vulnerability, and the calmness before the storm represents a fragile tranquility. The acknowledgment that we can't control the weather but can choose appropriate responses resonates with your well-developed theme of accepting the ebb and flow of emotions. This theme invites introspection of a delicate balance depicted between vulnerability and resilience.

Formally, the prose poem structure allows for a fluid exploration of emotions, with the metaphor of weather serving as a cohesive thread throughout the piece. The fragmented structure captures the unpredictability of emotional states, mirroring the sudden shifts in weather. To enhance the form, consider experimenting with your line breaks or varied sentence structures that could introduce subtle shifts in pacing, emphasizing the emotional intensity of this piece.

Poetic devices, particularly metaphor and repetition, contribute to the emotional depth of your poem. The swan metaphor serves as a powerful symbol, encapsulating vulnerability and the struggle against internal turmoil. The repetition of "Inner calmness defends" emphasizes the internal conflict, creating a rhythmic refrain that echoes the resilience within. To further enrich these poetic elements, consider exploring variations in language or introducing subtle symbolism that enhances the layers of your poem’s meaning.

Beautifully crafted exploration of vulnerability and resilience in your prose piece that well employs metaphoric and emotive language. It may have been some time, and it’s not likely there will be any edit, but consider how refining can enhance its dynamic quality, while experimenting with poetic devices to deepen the emotional and thematic resonance. Your ability to convey complex emotions through vivid imagery showcases a keen sensitivity to the craft.

A pleasure to read and consider for this feedback. Happy accountvanniversary.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
12
12
Review of Sad Faces  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Lyons Valentine ,

"Sad Faces" is a telling poem about isolation and the inability to find happiness. It navigates on themes of loneliness, nostalgia, and the desire for connection. The juxtaposition of sad faces and the longing for a return to happier times creates a powerful emotional undertone. There are various elements at play here, looking at style, theme, form, poetic devices, and otger noteworthy items.

The style of the poem is characterized by its stark and emotive language, effectively conveying the speaker's deep sense of isolation and the yearning for a return to happier days. The repetition of "sad faces" and the contrasting memories of friendship accentuate the emotional weight of the piece. The poem's simplicity contributes to its raw and unfiltered expression of complex emotions. It borders on madness and imagery as grotesque as self-harming or perhaps another by using a knife to fashion a smile. Perhaps, commentary on fake or false smiles.

The overarching theme revolves around the impact of loneliness and the struggle to find solace in the face of sadness. The poem explores the transformation of familiar faces from sources of comfort to symbols of isolation. Perhaps, one can feel forgotten, neglected abd more. Like mother is the only place tomyurn, with a letter (from college?) The plea for the faces to "smile once again" and the desire to carve a smile demonstrate an attempt to reclaim a sense of connection and joy, but not so playfully. (College is a place for young people to feel isolated and alone. Sadness could turn to madness, or the poet’s pen.)

The form of the poem is notable for its straightforward structure, consisting of short and direct lines. The concise nature of each stanza adds to the poem's impact, allowing the emotions to be expressed with immediacy. The use of rhyme, particularly in lines like "smile" and "while," contributes to the poem's rhythmic quality, underscoring the emotional cadence.

Poetic devices, including repetition and symbolism, enhance the emotional resonance of the piece. The repetition of "sad faces" creates a haunting refrain, emphasizing the pervasive nature of loneliness. The act of carving a smile with a knife serves as a powerful metaphor, highlighting the painful effort to create a facade of happiness amid internal struggles.

One suggestion I could offer for improvement would involve exploring additional sensory details or vivid imagery to immerse readers in the emotional landscape. Consider incorporating metaphors or similes that paint a more vivid picture, or can assign something more concrete to that of the speaker's emotions, providing readers with a deeper understanding of the internal turmoil.

Experiment with variations in line length or structure to emphasize key moments or emotions within the poem. Adjusting the pacing through strategic line breaks can enhance the overall rhythm and impact of the emotional journey you've crafted. It can demonstrate where to stress key words or passages. Something I do to demonstrate this is imagine the poem read aloud. I often need to actually hear my words spoken, rather than internalize. It’s here where I can put myself in the reader’s shoes.

You have a poignant exploration of loneliness and the complexities of human emotion shown here, which I and many can relate. Its raw and emotive style, coupled with a powerful theme, makes it a compelling piece that resonates with this reader's own experiences of longing and isolation.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer
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13
13
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Redtowrite ,

I stumbled into your poetry once again and felt a strong compulsion to acknowledge this poem. I’m also noting this is your 18th year at WDC, so I offer a review in acknowledgment.

I've immersed myself in your heartfelt poem, "God Loans us Children," (nice title, BTW) and found a tender exploration of the joys, wonders, and blessings that accompany us on that journey of parenthood. Since discovering in the WDC public listing pages, I thought I’d respond to how your effort effects various elements in your offered writing, including its style, theme, form, poetic devices, and other noteworthy aspects.

The style of the poem I have characterized from its warm and affectionate tone, reflecting the sentiments of love and appreciation for the beauty inherent in life and the gift of a child. The repeated refrain, "Come away sweet love," creates a sense of intimacy and invites the reader to join the speaker in embracing the moments of joy and wonder. The language is lyrical, and the use of vivid imagery enhances the emotional resonance of the poem.

The overarching theme revolves around the profound blessings of life, love, and parenthood. The poem celebrates the beauty of nature, the delights found in everyday experiences, and the extraordinary gift of a child. It unfolds like a gentle hymn, expressing gratitude for the treasures bestowed upon the speaker by the divine, especially in the form of their child, James. The theme resonates with universal emotions, making the poem relatable to readers who have experienced or witnessed the transformative power of parenthood.

The form of the poem is marked by short stanzas and a consistent refrain, contributing to its rhythmic and melodic quality. The repetitive structure adds a musicality that echoes the enduring nature of love and the cyclical rhythms of life. The use of enjambment, such as in "No rush, honor beauty," creates a fluidity that mirrors the flowing nature of life's moments, each leading seamlessly into the next.

Poetic devices, including metaphors and personification, infuse the poem with vivid imagery and emotional depth. The morning breaking as "golden morning breaks" personifies the dawn, imbuing it with a sense of preciousness and warmth. The description of James as a "new oak with deep roots" is a powerful metaphor that conveys strength, resilience, and the promise of growth. The child is portrayed as a seedling with the potential to become a magnificent tree.

Suggestion for improvement:
One area could involve exploring additional metaphors or symbolic elements to further enrich the imagery. Consider incorporating specific details or scenes that evoke the joys and challenges of parenthood, providing readers with a more immersive experience. For instance, you could delve into specific interactions with James that highlight the uniqueness of his personality and the depth of the parent-child bond.

Consider experimenting with variations in line length or structure to emphasize key moments or emotions within the poem. Adjusting the pacing through strategic line breaks can enhance the overall rhythm and impact of the poem, guiding readers through the emotional landscape you've crafted.

Overall, this poem is a beautiful and heartfelt ode to the blessings of life, love, and parenthood. The way you use lyrical style, evocative imagery, and universal themes makes it a resonant piece. And, as a parent myself, see how you are capturing the essence of familial joy and pride felt with that profound impact a child's presence has on our lives.

Great to read and review you. Enjoy that 18th anniversary here, coming up!

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer
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14
14
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary bigdaddy2012, *BalloonG*

I personify inanimate objects all the time and could relate with the humorous approach to this piece, something that I wasn’t looking for in the Writing.Com search engine, while looking for items to review. Also, happened to notice your anniversary is today.

I found your raw effort here engaging, with this comedic and heavily personified poem, "Hundred Dollar Bill." The personification of the currency adds a whimsical touch, and the poem unfolds with a playful tone that explores the dynamic relationship between the speaker (the hundred dollar bill) and its human companion. I’m going to consider several elements of ‘Bill’, including style, theme, form, poetic devices, and some noteworthy aspects.

The poem's style is characterized by its light-hearted and humorous approach, utilizing personification to give life to the hundred dollar bill. The playful tone sets the stage for a whimsical exploration of the bill's role in the speaker's life. The use of casual and conversational language contributes to the accessible and relatable nature of the poem. Lines like "When you flash me, I can get you a good deal" and "But you will find another named hundred dollar bill" create a humorous dialogue between the bill and its human counterpart.

The theme revolves around the transient nature of currency and the fleeting connections formed with each transaction. The speaker, personified as the hundred dollar bill, reflects on the moments of joy and utility it brings to its possessor. The poem explores the cyclical nature of currency exchange, where the bill acknowledges its temporary role in providing happiness and fulfilling needs.

The form of the poem aligns with a light comedic style, employing rhyming couplets that enhance the playful rhythm. The rhyme scheme contributes to the poem's musicality, creating a whimsical and entertaining atmosphere. The brevity of each line and the concise structure contribute to the accessibility of the poem, making it suitable for a wide audience.

The use of personification is a standout poetic device in this piece. By giving human attributes and characteristics to the hundred dollar bill, you create a relatable and amusing narrative. The bill becomes a character with its own personality, capable of bringing joy, making deals, and even experiencing a sense of lighthearted resignation when acknowledging that it will be spent and replaced.

Suggestion for improvement could involve exploring additional facets of the relationship between the speaker and the hundred dollar bill. Are there specific memories or transactions that stand out in the speaker's mind? Incorporating vivid and humorous anecdotes could further enrich the poem, allowing your readership to connect more deeply with the comedic narrative.

Consider experimenting with variations in pacing or delivery during a live performance. The rhythm of the poem provides an opportunity for comedic timing, and adjusting the delivery can enhance the overall comedic effect. Emphasizing certain lines or creating pauses for comedic effect could elevate the performance aspect of the poem.

Now, "Hundred Dollar Bill" is a delightful and entertaining poem that infuses humor into the personification of currency. Its playful tone, accessible language, and clever personification make it an enjoyable read with a comedic twist.

Great potential with comedy with personified efforts like this. Thanks for sharing and giving me a glimpse of myself. Also, enjoy your twelfth year here on this writing website.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power
and Anniversary Reviewer
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Review of The Rope  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello Holy Hot Pocket! ,

I didn’t go looking for slam poetry in the WDC search engine but was caught by the title and captivated by its layout and theme.

With the opportunity to explore your rhythmic slam poem, "The Rope," I found a powerful and poignant piece that supplies themes of love, betrayal, and the impact of external influences on one's choices. I’ve navigated through the various elements, including style, theme, form, poetic devices, and any notable aspects to provide response.

The rhythmic and percussive quality of your slam poem creates a compelling oral performance. The repetition of phrases like "To look beyond the wall of shame" and "He asked Them to tell things of love" establishes a distinctive rhythm, lending itself well to the slam poetry genre. This rhythmic quality contributes to the poem's performance, enhancing its impact when spoken aloud.

The theme of the poem unfolds with a narrative of love and deception, exploring the consequences of succumbing to societal expectations and external pressures. The wall of shame becomes a metaphor for societal norms, and the speaker grapples with the consequences of looking beyond it. The repetition of the phrase "He asked Them to tell things of love" emphasizes the speaker's quest for genuine connection amid a distorted narrative.

The form of the poem aligns with the characteristics of slam poetry, utilizing repetition, rhythm, and a conversational tone. The poem's structure captures the audience's attention, drawing them into the unfolding drama. The use of short, impactful lines enhances the poem's accessibility and contributes to its effectiveness in a spoken context.

Poetic devices, such as metaphor and repetition, play a crucial role in conveying the emotional and thematic depth of the poem. The metaphor of the rope, initially presented as an escape route, takes on a tragic twist as it transforms into a noose. This evolution serves as a powerful metaphor for the unintended consequences of seeking refuge from societal expectations.

The dialogue between the speaker and external influences adds a dynamic layer to the poem. The contrast between the speaker's desire for love and the external voices pushing for alternative desires creates tension and highlights the struggle for authentic connection amid societal pressures.

Suggestions for improvement could involve further exploring the emotional nuances of the speaker's journey. How does the speaker grapple with the conflicting messages about love and desire? Adding more introspective moments could deepen the audience's connection to the speaker's internal struggles.

Additionally, consider experimenting with vocal emphasis and pacing during performance. Slam poetry thrives on the synergy of words and delivery. Playing with variations in volume, tone, and pace can enhance the poem's impact during a live performance.

As a resonant slam poem, you masterfully employ rhythm, repetition, and metaphor to explore the complexities of love and societal expectations. Its emotive delivery and thematic depth make it a compelling piece in the slam poetry genre.

It was an unexpected pleasure to have stumbled into this piece of writing today.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
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Review of Blank Verse  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Beholden ,

I went to the search engine today to only find 34 references to blank verse poems on the WDC website. Ironically, yours was and was not one of them.

I've engaged with your "Blank Verse" statement poem, which intriguingly reflects on the distinctions between free and blank verse. Allow me to resound here about stylistic, thematic, and formal aspects of your poem, highlighting noteworthy elements and offering suggestions where relevant.

Your poem opens with a casual, conversational tone, immediately drawing readers into a moment of introspection. The personal touch, particularly the mention of a discussion with your wife about poetry, adds an intimate layer to the poem. This conversational style resonates well with the theme of exploring one's own poetic preferences and understanding.

The theme of this offering, unraveling the difference between free and blank verse, is both enlightening and accessible. The way you navigate this theme through casual dialogue allows readers to feel like they're part of a friendly exchange. The revelation that you've been writing blank verse rather than free verse all your life adds a touch of self-discovery to the narrative.

The form of the poem mirrors its subject matter, utilizing free verse to discuss free and blank verse. The irony of employing free verse to explore the distinctions between free and blank verse is clever and adds a layer of playful self-awareness to the poem. The line count of 15 reflects a concise and focused exploration, keeping the reader engaged without unnecessary embellishments.

Your use of enjambment is effective in maintaining the conversational flow. For example, the enjambment in "You might think that this means I should abandon / the forces of free versifiers" propels the reader seamlessly from one thought to the next. This technique enhances the natural rhythm of the poem, creating an easy and engaging reading experience.

To enrich the poem, you might also consider specific examples or characteristics of blank verse that resonate with you. For instance, you could explore the impact of adhering to meter in your writing and how it shapes the poetic expression. Providing concrete instances or personal experiences related to blank verse could further connect readers to your perspective.

Experimenting with varied punctuation or line breaks could add emphasis and guide the reader's attention. For instance, strategically placed commas or line breaks can create pauses here that might allow a reader to absorb and reflect on key statements in the poem.

To give you an idea of what I mean, a few places where breaks or pauses might enhanc impact:

"when it occurred to me that all my life I had been writing"
- Potential adjustment: Consider breaking this line after "me," creating a pause that emphasizes the moment of realization and self-reflection.

"I’ll count myself among the ranks of freedom’s staunchest penmen."
- Potential adjustment: A pause after "ranks" could highlight the declaration of aligning with freedom in poetic expression.

You does use hyphens effectively to separate statements that allow pauses, depending on how its read aloud or consumed within. With breaks, you can guide a reader through the poem with those intentional pauses for consumption and reflection of significant moments of realization and declaration. It can enhance the overall rhythm and emphasis within the poem.

Lastly, that title could be more evocative for discriminating minds who might pass over, rather than peruse. It should encapsulate the essence of the poem effectively. A title that captures the theme of the distinctions between free and blank verse while maintaining the conversational tone could serve as an inviting entry point for readers.

As always, a joy to find your poetry that I might have a chance to share my reaction. This is indeed within one’s own scope, as you stated at the end. But, it will allow other writers like me to join in the conversation. I have to give this five stars because of how you derive and illuminate this topic that can benefit others who might approach.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
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17
17
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~ A Newbie Review ~~~
by He’s Brian K Compton


Hello Harvey,

I've taken a look into into your blank verse poem, "A poem of a soulless mind," and it's a poignant exploration of self-reflection, identity, and the impact of a seemingly absent past. And you said it was “quite poorly written unfortunately.” Don’t sell yourself short. Most poems like this have raw potential. Just keep up with it and believe that, after each poem you write, you’ll have developed an even more experienced write than the last. Let's delve into the elements of style, theme, form, and poetic devices that make this poem resonate with a reader.

Your choice of blank verse, with its unrhymed iambic pentameter, lends a sense of natural speech to the poem. This form allows for a flowing and conversational rhythm, which complements the introspective nature of the verses. The language is direct and unadorned, yet it carries a weight that intensifies the emotional resonance of the themes you have explored.

The theme of feeling out of place, disconnected from a conventional childhood, is palpable throughout the poem. Something with which I relate. The lines "Always treated like someone way older / I never felt like a child I was" capture the essence of a dissonance between external expectations and internal experience. The portrayal of the speaker's mind as a "beast stuck in a human's body" evokes a profound sense of alienation and discord quite expressively

The poem navigates a deep introspective journey, pondering the absence of certain fundamental experiences and expressions of empathy. The lines "I was never taught such things / As how to comfort one who's crying" encapsulate a poignant yearning for understanding and support, both from oneself and others. This emotional vulnerability is a powerful aspect of your poem, inviting readers to empathize with the speaker's internal struggles.

Your use of enjambment does effectively propel the narrative forward and lends a sense of urgency. For example, the enjambment in "I never felt like a child I was / My mind never fit inside a body" creates a seamless flow between these reflections, emphasizing the interconnectedness of the speaker's identity and experiences. This technique contributes to the overall fluidity of this blank verse.

To deepen the impact, consider expanding on the emotional landscape of the speaker. How does the internal conflict manifest in their daily life and relationships? Adding a stanza that reveals the emotional nuances of the speaker's journey could provide readers with a more connected relation annd understanding of these depicted struggles.

Experimenting with varied punctuation or line breaks could enhance the rhythm and emphasize certain phrases in this blank verse. For instance, strategically placed commas, or line breaks, could create pauses that allow readers to absorb, and reflect, on key moments in the poem. Just a smattering.

Today, I’m discussing poem titles, which you could revisit with yours. It’s to ensure that lead-in encapsulates the essence of the poem effectively. A title that hints at the themes of self-discovery, internal conflict, or yearning for connection might offer readers a more resonant entry point into the poem. Sometimes, boiling down a poem in essence to create a title is like the tiniest poem of all, when you think about it. With your title, it looks more of a description line.

I had a great time discovering, consuming and producing response to your deserving poem. Great to see new writers among us with such creativity in our writing community.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
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Review of The Tree  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Lester,

I found myself immersing in your free verse poem, "The Tree," with it's captivating exploration of nature, identity, and the contrasting experiences of growth. I have some reflections to share about your style, theme, form, and the poetic devices employed.

Your poem begins with a vivid portrayal of two trees, each embodying distinct qualities and eliciting different emotions. The use of personification is striking, attributing human characteristics to the trees. The phrase "Choked in the slender neck by three prongs" creates an immediate sense of constraint and imposition on the first tree, establishing a tone of burden and control.

The juxtaposition between the "Erect and tall" young tree and the "Knobbly, short and stout" tree evokes a strong visual contrast. This duality sets the stage for a contemplative examination of conformity versus individuality, dependency versus autonomy. The vivid imagery, such as "shaggy, fly-away strands of leafy branch" and the mention of the trees' physical characteristics, allows the reader to envision the scenes with clarity.

The theme of societal expectations and the impact of external influences on identity is palpable. The image of the young tree being "spoon-fed, in the dependence of a newborn" is potent, conveying a sense of vulnerability and indoctrination. The phrase "And the young, mirthless tree stands today / With the grace-" introduces a subtle irony, as the grace mentioned appears to be learned mechanically rather than inherently felt.

The contrasting scene of the second tree in a space where children play adds another layer to the narrative. This tree, described as "joyous, single entity" and "prong-free, provocative," presents a stark alternative to the constrained young tree. The notion of a space where children play suggests freedom, spontaneity, and a lack of societal constraints.

Poetic devices such as alliteration and internal rhyme contribute to the musicality of the poem. For example, the repetition of the "s" sound in "slimness of a budding youth," "slender neck," and "suggestions leech" creates a subtle but effective rhythm, enhancing the flow of the verses. These devices add a layer of texture to the language and engage the reader through auditory elements.

To enhance the poem, you might consider expanding on the emotional landscape of the young tree. How does it feel to be confined and shaped by external influences? Adding a stanza that delves into the tree's internal experience could provide readers with a more empathetic connection to the subject.

Experimenting with line breaks and stanza structure could also offer opportunities to emphasize certain ideas or create visual pauses. For instance, breaking the lines strategically can guide the reader's attention to key moments or reflections in the poem.

I’m not the best at titling my own writing, but you may reconsider yours here to ensure it encapsulates the essence of the poem effectively. A title that hints at the dichotomy between conformity and individuality or the impact of societal expectations on identity could provide readers with a more insightful entry point into the poem. Also, description line is a great way to tease. I was amused by what you offered, getting my attention.

This was a pleasure to have discovered this free verse offering to consider for this feedback.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
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19
19
Review of Grace  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello jpnordstrom ,

I went hunting for blank verse and feel like this is something I could play around with, seeing what you’ve done here.

You caught my eye with the description, ‘iambic pentameter blank verse’, and got to see what it entails. "Grace” impressed just by the elegance of the chosen form and the depth of which its thematic exploration reveals. I found a detailed response, focusing on style, theme, form, and poetic devices, was something I could tackle, to help me comprehend and learn.

Your adherence to iambic pentameter is commendable, providing this poem with a steady and rhythmic flow. The structured metrical pattern contributes to the overall gracefulness of the piece, reinforcing its thematic elements, and allowing for a sense of continuity. The consistent ten-syllable lines create a natural cadence, guiding this reader through the narrative with that measured pace.

The theme of grace, explored within the context of heaven, despair, and the redemption of the lost, adds a layer of complexity to the poem. The juxtaposition of "saints of heaven's fatal light" with the imagery of an "image of despair" sets the tone for a profound contemplation on the nature of divine mercy. The contrast between the darkness of despair and the crimson glow of grace creates a vivid visual and emotional spectrum within the poem.

Your use of language is evocative and rich in imagery. Phrases like "implore an image of despair," "hands with crimson glow," and "dark intension's wreak of death" contribute to the atmospheric quality of the poem. The images are potent and resonate with the thematic elements, enhancing the reader's engagement with the subject matter.

The form of blank verse allows for flexibility in expression, and you utilize this freedom effectively. The enjambment in "Then grace was placed / in reach of me" spans two lines, creating emphasis on the action of grace being bestowed. The strategic use of caesura, as in "a debt surpassing that of wealth / was paid on my behalf," provides a pause that underscores the weight and significance of the debt being paid.

Suggestions for improvement could involve exploring additional nuances within the thematic exploration. Consider expanding on the experience of receiving grace — what does it feel like, and how does it transform the narrator? Adding a couple of lines to further depict the personal and emotional impact of grace could deepen the reader's connection to the poem.

You might want to try experimenting with varying the sentence structure to create emphasis or suspense. For instance, breaking a long sentence into shorter fragments or combining shorter sentences into a longer one can alter the pacing and add dynamic shifts to the poem. Now for a syllable count requirement, this isn’t required. But, if deviating…

Lastly, review the title to ensure it encapsulates the essence of the poem effectively. A title that resonates with the themes of redemption, divine intervention, or mercy could provide readers with a more insightful entry point into the poem.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!


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20
20
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings Claus,

I stumbled into your poem looking for examples of blank verse to review. Your description line intrigued me as a fellow poet.

It was a pleasure engaging with your aphoristic, blank verse offering, "Waiting, waiting…," and found it to be a thought-provoking exploration of belief, fear, and the passage of time. I have some reflections on the style, theme, and form of your poem to share.

Your choice of a blank verse form aligns well with the introspective and contemplative nature of the poem. The absence of rhyme and the use of iambic pentameter create a natural and conversational rhythm. This rhythmic quality allows the words to flow smoothly, inviting the reader to reflect on the profound ideas presented. The lack of a strict rhyme scheme contributes to the free-flowing and reflective tone.

The theme of evolving beliefs and fears as one ages is compelling. The progression from disbelief in God at twenty to eagerly anticipating one's fiftieth birthday encapsulates a journey of personal growth and changing perspectives. The brevity and directness of each statement, reminiscent of aphorisms, lend weight to the reflections, making them impactful.

The juxtaposition of belief and fear creates a nuanced exploration of one's evolving relationship with the divine and humanity. The stark contrast between "believing in God" and "fearing God" suggests a shift from religious faith to a more nuanced understanding or acceptance. Similarly, the transition from "believing in Man" to a state of non-belief adds layers to the narrative, reflecting on the complexities of human relationships and societal structures. There’s a bit of irony at play, as well, pertaining to this progression by the decade.

In terms of poetic devices, the use of enjambment, especially in the first two lines, adds a sense of continuity and fluidity to the poem. The running thought from "When I turned twenty" to "fiftieth Birthday" without a break mirrors the seamless passage of time and the continuous process of self-discovery.

To further enhance this piece, you might also consider exploring the emotions associated with these shifts in belief and fear. Adding a line or two that delves into the emotional landscape could offer potential readers a more vivid and relatable experience for the reader. For example, you could express the emotional weight of discarding or embracing beliefs and fears at different stages of life.

You might also consider playing with line breaks to emphasize certain words or ideas. Experimenting with the placement of line breaks can create emphasis on key words/sections and guide the reader's attention. For instance, breaking "Now I'm eagerly looking forward" into two lines could accentuate the eagerness and anticipation. Italicize is another option.

I might be a bit of a stickler lately about titles. Your title could better encapsulate the essence of this poem more effectively. A title that hints at the anticipation and reflection embedded in the verses could draw readers in more effectively. I did like the introduction line, which can also serve to tempt a reader. What you offer in that line is like something I would place at the end of a poem, so as not to bias a reader, but let discover for themselves. Teasing and foreboding in that line could help set this up.

It was a unique experience considering this poem and would like to dabble in something like this for my own future poetry pursuits. Thanks for sharing here.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!


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21
21
Review of Distant Shores  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello zpetko ,

I had the pleasure of reading your Pensee form poetry, "Distant Shores," and appreciate the unique structure and contemplative atmosphere it evokes. I was inspired by this form that I never knew. I’ll lend my thoughts on the style, theme, and form of your poem.

Your choice of the Pensee form is intriguing, thought apparently a writing prompt from Pond Poetry. The Pensee adds a distinctive touch to the poem you constructed. The disciplined structure, with specific syllable counts for each line, gives the poem a measured and rhythmic quality. This structured form contrasts beautifully with the theme of "Distant Shores," creating a sense of order within the vastness and unpredictability of the sea.

The theme of capturing a wondrous and childlike pastime in a bottle, destined to travel the sea, is enchanting. It resonates with the innocence and curiosity of childhood, and the imagery of "ageless adventures of silence" suggests a timeless quality to the bottled memories. The Latin phrase "incompertus unda" adds an air of mystery and universality, enhancing the sense of the sea as an enigmatic force.

In terms of poetic devices, your use of alliteration in "ageless adventures" and "silence" adds a musical quality to the poem. The repetition of the 's' sound creates a soothing and rhythmic effect, mirroring the gentle movements of the sea. This subtle use of sound devices enhances the overall sensory experience of the poem.

Suggestions for improvement could involve exploring the emotional depth of the poem. Consider delving into the feelings associated with bottling past memories and sending them off to distant shores. Developing a line that expresses the emotions or reflections tied to this act could add a layer of complexity to the poem.

I considered you might want to experiment with varying the imagery in the action and setting lines. While the sea is the overarching theme, describing specific elements of the action and setting could enrich our perception of mental imagery. For instance, you could detail the waves' movement or the colors of the distant shores to provide a more vivid picture.

Lastly, you may want to consider revisiting the title. "Distant Shores" is fitting, but you could explore titles that encapsulate the essence of the poem's message or theme to draw interest, to let us look past that introduction with something that could better hook a potential reader. Even the description line could be used to tease us about theme or forboding. A title that sparks curiosity or invites us to ponder the mysteries of the sea could enhance the poem's appeal.

It was a pleasure to discover this piece with a form I had yet to meet, which will prompt me to give it a try, as well.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
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22
22
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Dear Simple Dykie ,

Greetings! I've read your sci-fi short story, "Unexpected Consequences," and it presents an intriguing premise with intergalactic slavers facing unexpected challenges on an uncharted planet. I took in consideration some aspects of your story and compiled this response.

On Opening Paragraphs:
Your opening paragraphs effectively set the stage by introducing the Pern ship, its crew, and their cruel nature. The mention of the uncharted planet sparks curiosity, and the physical descriptions of the characters create vivid images. However, the introduction of Brillya's mating cycle might benefit from a smoother integration into the narrative to avoid a momentary shift in tone.

On Hook and Theme:
The story's hook lies in the anticipation of the Pern crew encountering the unknown on the uncharted planet. The theme of unexpected consequences unfolds organically, piquing the reader's interest in how the slavers will navigate the challenges ahead.

On Story Elements:
Your narrative does well to incorporate necessary story elements, such as personal conflicts among the crew, technological details (gravitational compensators), and the description of the planet's unique ecosystem. These elements and more contribute to the richness of the story world you are developing.

As To The Ending:
The unexpected turn of events in the daycare center added a fascinating layer to your story. Spoiler: The revelation that the Pern raiding party mistook a settlement for a warrior training ground, and the subsequent danger posed by the childlike inhabitants, brings about an unexpected twist to impact this story setting, beginning. The ending at this point leaves room for exploration of consequences and potential moral dilemmas.

Further Suggestions:

1. Smooth Transition: Ensure a smooth transition when introducing elements like Brillya's mating cycle. Perhaps integrate it into a broader context of crew dynamics, or use a moment that doesn't disrupt the flow of your ongoing central narrative.

-Example: Instead of interrupting the scene, consider mentioning Brillya's mating cycle during a lighthearted conversation among the crew, creating a more natural flow.

2. Character Development: Explore the characters' internal thoughts and emotions further, especially Captain Prell. This will enhance reader connection and engagement.

-Example: Provide insight into Captain Prell's mindset as he witnesses Brid's attack, giving readers a deeper understanding of his resultant reactions.

3. Build Tension: Increase tension during the raiding party's approach to the settlement. Make the readers feel the anticipation and danger more intensely

-Example: Describe the palpable tension among the crew as they cloak themselves, heightening the suspense before the unexpected encounter.

Closing Words:
"Unexpected Consequences" holds promise with its imaginative premise and engaging storytelling. Building on character emotions and refining transitions will elevate the narrative going forward. Keep up the excellent work, and I look forward to seeing more.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
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23
23
for entry "Once was" 
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Stormy Lady ,

"Once was" opens with a poignant reflection on the transient nature of life and love, employing concise and stark imagery to convey the inevitable passage of time and change. The brevity of each stanza mirrors the brevity of the moments described, emphasizing the fleeting nature of warmth, color, strength, and melody.

Stylistically, the poem embraces simplicity and directness, allowing the stark contrast between past and present to resonate with clarity. The use of repetition with "once was" serves as a powerful refrain, creating a rhythmic cadence that underscores the theme of transience. Each couplet acts as a snapshot, capturing the essence of what once was and juxtaposing it with the stark reality of what is now.

Thematically, the poem revolves around the universal theme of impermanence and the inevitability of change. The progression from warmth to coldness, color to aging, strength to brokenness, and song to silence paints a vivid portrait of the inevitable cycle of life. The emotional resonance lies in the simplicity of the language, making it relatable and evoking a contemplative response from the reader.

Poetic devices, such as metaphor and personification, enhance the impact of the poem. The wind becomes a symbol of change, shifting from warm to cold, mirroring the emotional shift in the speaker's reflections. Similarly, the aging flower and the broken love serve as powerful metaphors for the passage of time and the fragility of human connections.

Suggestions for further refinement might include exploring additional sensory details to deepen the emotional impact. Describing the sensations of warmth turning to coldness or the visual transformation of a colorful flower into an old one could enhance the reader's connection to the evolving imagery. Additionally, considering variations in line length or experimenting with stanza breaks could add a dynamic element to the form, further accentuating the emotional nuances within each couplet.

I hope we have you back. You are missed. A belated anniversary celebration of your impact on this internet community.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army
and Account Anniversary Reviewer
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
24
24
for entry "Yet" 
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Stormy Lady ,

I’m on a review raid of your portfolio, acknowledging your 23 years at WDC. Now, in "Yet," the poet crafts a vivid portrayal of a man through contrasting elements, unraveling the complexity of his character and the lasting impact he leaves. The opening lines invite a reader into a dreamlike introspection, using the act of closing one's eyes as a gateway to explore the layers of this man's essence.

Stylistically, the poem employs a concise and rhythmic structure that mirrors the brevity of the encounters described. The deliberate use of contrasting conjunctions like "but" and "yet" establishes a pattern, emphasizing the duality inherent in the man's attributes. The juxtaposition of seemingly contradictory qualities, such as the strength and kindness in his voice or the brevity and lasting impact of his presence, adds depth to the portrayal.

Thematically, the poem explores the multifaceted nature of human experience and connections. The title "Yet" becomes a powerful motif, encapsulating the essence of the man's character and the paradoxical nature of his existence. The interplay between opposites, like strength and gentleness, wisdom and seeking, passion and brevity, weaves a nuanced narrative that resonates with the complexities of relationships and fleeting moments.

Poetic devices, such as imagery and personification, enhance the reader's engagement with the text. The hands that "showed how he worked" and were "gentle to the touch" create a tactile and visual image, bringing the man to life in the reader's imagination. The eyes, described as "full of unseen wonder," personify curiosity and mystery, inviting interpretation and contemplation.

Suggestions for improvement may involve expanding on specific instances or memories that encapsulate the man's character. Little is truly known, as he could benefit from further dimension, especially on someone, like the narrator. Providing concrete examples of the wisdom in his words or the passion in his kiss could amplify the emotional impact of the poem. Perhaps, considering variations in line length or experimenting with rhyme schemes could add a dynamic element to the structure.

Well, I hope my little raid will be discovered by you. Hope all is well, come back soon.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army
and Anniversary Reviewer
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
25
25
for entry "Rainy Night" 
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Stormy Lady ,,

I’m on a review raid of your portfolio, acknowledging your 23 years at WDC. "Rainy Night" unfolds as a sensory tapestry, painting an intimate scene through the evocative interplay of words. The poem begins with a concise enumeration of atmospheric elements—soft music, gentle rain, crackling fire, and champagne—setting the stage for a sensory journey that unfolds with rhythmic grace.

Stylistically, your poem embraces simplicity and repetition, creating a hypnotic cadence that mirrors the rhythmic patter of raindrops. The repeated refrain of "Soft music, Gentle rain, Crackling fire, And champagne" not only establishes a musical quality but also serves as a structural device, anchoring the reader in the sensory experience. This repetition contributes to the immersive nature of the poem, enhancing the reader's ability to feel the ambiance described.

Thematically, this piece revolves around the essence of a romantic encounter on a rainy night. The juxtaposition of elements like "rolling thunder" and "playful night" captures the dual nature of the scene—both charged with energy and infused with a sense of delight. The progression from "enchanted smiles" to "delightful sin" hints at the transformative and sensual nature of the moment, portraying love as a nuanced interplay of emotions.

Poetic devices, such as alliteration create a harmonious flow, mirroring the seamless blending of elements in the scene. The use of personification, as seen in "passions soaring" and "raging fires," imbues abstract concepts with vivid life, intensifying the emotional landscape of the poem. There may be more opportunities to play with the sounds through other poetic devices.

Suggestions for enhancement might include expanding on specific details within the scene to deepen the reader's connection to the moment. Describing the aroma of the rain, the warmth of the fire, or the taste of the champagne could amplify the sensory experience. Also, considering variations in line length or experimenting with stanza breaks could add a dynamic element to the form, further complementing the ebb and flow of the depicted night.

All in all, an impactful poem that visually and harmonically come together. A pleasure.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army
and Aniversary Reviewer
Image #1364670 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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