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51
51
Review of Dinner with Death  
Review by StephB
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, I'm StephB and I am reviewing your story for
 
SURVEY
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR)
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
#1207944 by Writing.Com Support
Thanks for entering.

*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Dinner guests who dont know each other gather for a meal.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the ending. Well done.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue accents the narration. If anything, I would suggest putting the dialogue in a seperate paragraph so it's easier to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might touch on the sense of smell as the dinner keeps getting bigger and bigger.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day?
PLACE: urban setting?

This is something that is not defined but could be clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

The Butler and last guest

I didn't quite understand their motivations. Maybe they were vampires? *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. I might touch on some motivations. Especially on the guests. Why would they show up to a dinner party when they didn't know the host or each other? The strength of the ending bumps this story up to a 4. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph

52
52
Review by StephB
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, I'm StephB and I am reviewing your story for
 
SURVEY
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR)
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
#1207944 by Writing.Com Support
Thanks for entering.

*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

A fairy king is lonely and wants a family so he has minions capture some humans in hopes of passing a fairy test.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the story. I thought it was an interesting and creative spin on the prompt.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited by King Nimbus. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: once upon a time
PLACE: fairy setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

King Nimbus

There's enough here to understand his motivations. He wants to have a family so he throws a huge party to try and adopt some humans. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to make it easy on the eyes to read.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. The ending was solid and fit the story well. The quotation prompt was used well for inspiration. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph
53
53
Review by StephB
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

It's time for the annual Bardtown's celebrations and the townsfolk are opening the time capsule and when they do, a big secret is revealed.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the color coding. It made the prompt stand out from the entry. Poor O'Leary was stunned. So was the mayor.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue drives the story.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scene.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: Bardstown

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Mrs. Writon

Yikes! That's all I'm gonna say. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

The only spelling mistake I noticed was Mrs. Writeon. It's Mrs. Writon in the prompt.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. I thought the vignette was succinct and to the point. The ending was scandalous! Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph
54
54
Review by StephB
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

It's time for the annual Bardtown's celebrations and the townsfolk are opening the time capsule and when they do, a big secret is revealed.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the reaction of the townspeople to the big reveal.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscent. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue drives the story.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scene.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: Bardstown

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Kevin Wyatt David Crane Bard V.

Five ponders his good luck - or, maybe not so good luck. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. I thought the vignette had a good flow. Good use of WDC ML made it easy to read on the eyes. I would have liked to have seen more of a birth mother connection to the town, but there was plenty of drama to pass around. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph
55
55
Review by StephB
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

It's time for the annual Bardtown's celebrations and the townsfolk are opening the time capsule. When they do, a big secret is revealed.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the ending. Definitely a shock!

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited by the librarian. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

The dialogue accents the narration.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scene.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: Bardstown

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

The Librarian

The contents of the letter prove too shocking to Mayor Writon. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. If anything I might suggest spacing paragraphs to make it easier on the eyes at WDC.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader by summing up the prompt. I liked how the ending had a solid connection the characters of Bardstown. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph
56
56
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. I am reviewing this poem for the Angel Army Review Challenge SEP 2020.

*Reading* THE POEM

The poem tells a story of a woman visiting a palm reader.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the word play; it made me pause and read a bit deeper.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "if love could be fire-retardant like my flannel pajamas"

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Nice expression. For me, on the first read, the poem is fun, but on the second read, I saw a deeper meaning, especially in the last stanza with the cozy pajama hiding a deeper emotion underneath.

Reviewed by StephB for the the Angel Army

Review Signature
57
57
Review of LED BY A STAR  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. I am reviewing this poem for the Angel Army Review Challenge SEP 2020.

*Reading* THE POEM

The poem told the story of Christmas and the visit of the three wise men.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the story the poem told. It was upbeat and full of hope.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There was an AABB rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read. Good use of WDC ML using red and green colors to give the poem an accented feel of Christmas.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "the child lay nestled in a bed of straw.." Nice visual here.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Great expression. A heartwarming poem. I have no suggestions for improvement.

Reviewed by StephB for the the Angel Army

Review Signature
58
58
Review of Pointless  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. I am reviewing this item for the Angel Army Review Challenge SEP 2020.

*Reading* THE POEM

The poem takes a look at a tree and changes they must endure.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the word play; it deepened the expression of the poem. There was a rhythmic flow that I experienced when I read the poem. I liked how "If I was a tree" was repeated.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There were some strategic rhymes, but no set patterns.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read. The punctuation accents the flow of the poem.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "if I were a tree, fear should not be
losing my leaves, being seen to my core." Nice visual here.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I like how the poem challenges the reader to think about nature around them.. I have no suggestions for improvement. Great expression.

Reviewed by StephB for the the Angel Army

Review Signature
59
59
Review of The Storms  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. I am reviewing this poem for the Angel Army Review Challenge SEP 2020.

*Reading* THE POEM

The poem dealt was a nightmare involving lightning striking all around -- will it get me?

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the word play; it deepened the expression of the poem. I pictured someone like me, helpless, in the dark, trying to avoid the lightning.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There were some strategic rhymes in the last sentences of each stanza.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "caught in the wind, round and round it's swirling."

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I liked the use of short, concise words to increase in the urgency in the tone of the poem. I have no suggestions for improvement.

Reviewed by StephB for the the Angel Army

Review Signature
60
60
Review of The Snow Queen  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. I am reviewing this poem for the Angel Army Challenge SEP 2020.

*Reading* THE POEM

The poem is about a snow/winter queen who rules over a barren land.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the poem framed the life of the queen.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem with no specific rythme scheme, but there are rythmes.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "the dusty field, the muddy road, that garden had once been hoed." It paints a vivid scene in my mind as a reader.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Nice expression. I like the poem challenges the reader to think about the life the snow/winter queen led and fill in the blanks. I have no suggestions for improvement.

Reviewed by StephB for the the Angel Army

Review Signature
61
61
Review of I Remember  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. I am reviewing this poem for the Angel Army Challenge SEP 2020.

*Reading* THE POEM

The poem takes a heartbreaking look at how Alzheimer's effects the person who has it, and the caregiver.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

Another solid poem that tells a story. Good emotional expression.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem with an BB rythme scheme. I liked the rythmic flow of the stanzas.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked the stanza: "No longer you remember..." as it paints a visual picture as to how Alzhiemers robs one of memories.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Nice word play. The poem evokes emotion in an effortless way. I have no suggestions for improvement.

Reviewed by StephB for the the Angel Army

Review Signature
62
62
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. I am reviewing this poem for the Angel Army Newbie Challenge SEP 2020.

*Reading* THE ESSAY

The essay makes the arugment that women should consider and enter more technological fields.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the author suggested that men should mentor/teach women in the field. For me, I think it's a win/win in that it brings people together to build mutual respect.

*Star* POWER OF ARUGMENT

I would suggest using specific examples to add to the power of the arugment. I searched for "women in a tech field personal stories" and I found a bunch of personal stories that would resonate with readers.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a light edit for punctuation. I would also create a few more paragraphs to to highlight the points the author wants to stick out.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's an opportunity to talk about specific tech, but mostly tech is talked about in general.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. There's a lot of potential to be developed. It's a good topic to explore.

Reviewed by StephB for the the Angel Army

Review Signature
63
63
Review of Our World Changed  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. I am reviewing this poem for the Angel Army Newbie Challenge SEP 2020.

*Reading* THE POEM

The poem tells the story of Sept. 11th and asks all to Never Forget.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the use of the repeating stanza that started with, "Lord please don't let this old word forget..."

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There is a AABB rythme scheme in all the stanzas.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a light edit for punctuation to assist with the natural flow of the poem. The poem is easy to read. One additional note: I would use terrorists' which is plural. terrorist's is single use.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "heroes can see past the terrorists' game"

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mention above. Good expression that evokes an emotional response from the reader.

Reviewed by StephB for the the Angel Army

Review Signature
64
64
Review of The End  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. I am reviewing this poem for the Angel Army Newbie Challenge SEP 2020.

*Reading* THE POEM

A look at death and a comparison of reading a good book, having a good end.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the comparison and how the poem compared life/death to reading a book.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There were no rhymes.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. If anything, I might suggest a light edit for puncutation to assist the flow of the poem. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "a young rose blooms then deteriorates."

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. Nice expression.

Reviewed by StephB for the the Angel Army

Review Signature
65
65
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. I am reviewing this poem for the Angel Army Newbie Challenge SEP 2020.

*Reading* THE POEM

The night wraps the author in a warm embrace and yet, is it as warm as it implies? The author explores this question.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the word play; it deepened the expression of the poem.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There were some strategic rhymes, but no set patterns.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a light edit for punctuation/capitalization as I think it will assist the flow in which the reader reads the poem. I am curious about the capitalization and lack of capitalization of "i" in the poem. I think the lower case "i" would be served by stronger punctuation. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "The moon is smiling, the sky is clear."

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. Good expression.

Reviewed by StephB for the the Angel Army

Review Signature
66
66
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. I am reviewing this poem for the Angel Army Newbie Challenge SEP 2020.

*Reading* THE POEM

A heartfelt, inspirational poem that reminds the reader that you are never alone.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the word play; it deepened the expression of the poem. There was a rhythmic flow that I experienced when I read the poem.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. The 1st and 3rd stanza of each line stanza rythmed.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. Punctuation was light, but appropriate. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked the opening line: "You are not alone, you never walk alone." Right away it sets a tone for the poem which is hopeful and upbeat.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I liked how the poem came full circle using a nature motif. The wind offers whispers for us -- we cannot be afraid to listen. Great expression!

Reviewed by StephB for the the Angel Army

Review Signature
67
67
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. I am reviewing a newbie for the Angel Army Challenge for SEP 2020.

*Reading* THE POEM

The poem talks about love and it's effects on one's soul.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the idea of love being eternal and than exploring that dynamic.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem.

*Star* MECHANICS

The poem is easy to read. The first line of every sentence is capitalized. I might suggest some punctuation, only in that would assist the reader with rhythm and flow.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked the opening line. It grabbed my attention right away.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

This is the type of poem that you can really expand, especially with the ocean comparison. Love is such a powerful topic for a poem. The ending could have had an ocean reference tying it back to the beginning.

Reviewed by StephB for the Angel Army.

Review Signature
68
68
Review by StephB
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

The poem talks of sharing experiences and friendship.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I think a lot of readers can relate with similar experiences.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There was no set rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

Capitalization is not standard and the only punctuation is at the end of the poem. If anything I might suggest a light edit for punctuation and words that need a space. (example: Eachother) The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Useless talk" as it implies more than the words suggest.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Every expressive and from the heart.


Reviewed by StephB


Glowing Steph
69
69
Review by StephB
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE ESSAY

A look at how the struggle is real to answer the daily question: "What's for dinner?"

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I have struggled with this question for years. And the author nailed it!! I work all day, I'm exhausted. I have no energy to put dinner together so it's "let's order out!" This essay was written in 2004 but it's still relevant in 2020!

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I loved the use of WDC. It made the essay easy to read.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. I loved how the author reviewed the daily challenges of dinner and then offered a solution with the crock pot. I have one, I don't use it enough. For now I'm just trying to hang in there.


Glowing Steph
70
70
Review by StephB
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE HOW-TO

A great instructional "how-to" on post a product review on WDC.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how easy the directions were to follow.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I loved the use of WDC. It made piece easy to read.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. I thought this is a very instructional how-to/advice on product reviews. Very informative!


Glowing Steph
71
71
Review by StephB
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE ESSAY

A look at how Hooves aka tHiNg approaches reviews and gives tips on what to look for in a good review.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the bit on how to react to a review, be it good or bad. It's solid advice.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I loved the use of WDC. It made the essay easy to read.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. I agree that a review should encourage you as a writer. This is a good essay to read if you're starting out here on WDC because it frames how one should approach the critics. As usual, Hooves unique imagination and creativity shines through. Expressive and honest.


Glowing Steph
72
72
Review of Human Mommy  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Chewy is a very active dog.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the ending. It was very sweet.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by Chewy's human mommy. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately. If anything I might suggest flipping the script and having Chewy be in the 1st person, or use straight dailogue between Chewy and his mommy.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a nice blend of dialogue and narration. I might suggest putting Chewy's dialogue in italics, just to separate it from the narrator.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. The challenge to set the descriptions in the context of the dialogue. I can picture Chewy's world in my reader's eye.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: house

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Chewy

Chewy is a sweet dog with a good heart. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. A nice day in the life story. The opening enages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Glowing Steph
73
73
Review of Misty  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

A day in the life of Misty and Sammy.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the author captured the everyday drama in the life of dogs.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person by Misty and Sammy. There is a line break used appropriately for the narration shift. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. It feels very natural and organic to the story.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. The challenge to set the descriptions in the context of the dialogue. I can easily picture a house with two loving pets who like to play ball and eat doggie treats.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day?
PLACE: house

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Misty and Sammy

They are two heartwarming dogs who bring happiness. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation. You use exclaimation points a lot which makes the story feel a little melodramaic.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

If anything I might clarify if Julie owns both dogs. I wasn't certain on that point. The opening enages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Another signature - Terrace Gardens
74
74
Review of Free Will  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Eight cats and a human ponder the question, "Are our actions predetermined?"

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the creativity behind the story.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the 3rd person limited from the human's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

The prompt is to create a dialogue between the internal voice of a pet and their human. The human tries to figure out which of the cats turned on the AC.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. This can be a challenge because the descriptions need to organically fit the dialogue. What I liked is how the author used the actions of the cats throughout the day which allowed me, the reader, to picture what they were up to.
*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: house

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Human and the cats

There's a little snippet that features all the cats. There's Sammy, Nirvana, Jachin, Orion, Boaz, Xiaolong, Saith and Serendipity. All have their own unique personality. If anything I think the personality in the narration and not the dialogue. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. The cats (and human) tackle a really loaded question. A very entertaining vignette. Word count was not listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Glowing Steph
75
75
Review of Wanna play?  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Arie just wants to play.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the dialogue was very succinct and easy to figure out.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the 1st person by Arie. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

The prompt is to create a dialogue between the internal voice of a pet and their human. I thought the dialogue was very organic and natural.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. This can be a challenge because the descriptions need to organically fit the dialogue. I like how the dialogue implies that Arie and his human are outside. I'm picturing a dog park, but honestly, it would be anywhere outside.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: outside

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Arie

Arie is a playful dog. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. I have suggestion. As written: "Arie, Common, I don't have all day!" The correct spelling would be, "Arie, Come on (or C'mon), I don't have all day!"

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. I could easily picture a playful dog giving their human a hard time. A very entertaining vignette. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph
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