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451
451
Review by PureSciFi
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Rated: E | (3.0)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello UncleKenny,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your ninth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Fiction story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. What I liked most about it was the fact that dreams can come true.


The Story: This is a story about someone, I’m not sure about the gender, who is about to die. When they do they want to return as a Golden Retriever. Which is exactly what happened to them.


Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. I know once he returns as a Golden Retriever he’s in Joan’s house. But before death, I’m not sure. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself – sort of like Joan’s house is in this one. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Whoever came back as a Golden Retriever is the main character in this story. Their family is also a big part of it. Personally, I would have given them a name too. I try to do that with all of my characters. Especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real if they have a name. At least that’s what I think.


How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. In fact, the promise that they would come back as a Golden Retriever was the only bit of dialogue in this story. And that dialogue looked good to me.


Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have indented these paragraphs. I don’t think that it’s a grammar rule that says that you should do it. In fact, I’m sure that there isn’t. A lot of writers, maybe even most of them, don’t do it. It’s just the way that I like to write my stories.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.



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452
452
Review of Visitor  
Review by PureSciFi
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello fangfluffy,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your thirteenth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Fiction Story. And I liked it very much. It kept me interested in reading it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. What I liked the best about this story are the giant hand and the swatting.


The Story: This is a story about a group of space explorers who are studying a small blue-green planet. While exploring it a giant hand swatted at least one of them out of existence.


Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. But from what I have read it I would say it’s a spaceship of some kind. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Whoever is telling that story is the main character in this story. Personally, I would have given this person a name. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real if they have one. At least that’s what I think.


How They Spoke to Me: The only bit of dialogue is at the end of this story. And it’s only a thought. It said that it was. but it was written as dialogue. Instead of the quotation marks, I think it should have been in italics. That’s what I have been reviewed on as what should be done with thoughts.


Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have indented these paragraphs. I don’t think that it’s a grammar rule that says that you should do that. In fact, I’m sure that it isn’t. a lot of writers, maybe even most of them, don’t do it. It’s just the way that I like to write. I also noticed you started a couple of paragraphs with the same word. Personally, I wouldn’t do that. There have to be at least two paragraphs before I would use a word again. Once again, that’s just the way I write my stories.



I liked your story very much. Keep on writing.



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453
453
Review by PureSciFi
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Rated: ASR | (4.0)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello Laurence Lancaster,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your ninth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop until I finished it. At first, I was wondering what made this story Science Fiction or Fantasy. But by the end of it, I wasn’t wondering anymore.


The Story: This is a story about a male named Cole who can’t sleep. So he goes down to his basement to get some work done. While there his mate, Cassie, of one year came down to seen him. A mate who turned out to be an Android.


Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where the location for this story takes place. I know it’s in a house somewhere. But I don’t know where that house is at. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Cole is the main character in this story. But Cassie is also a big part of this story. I’m glad you gave them names. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. I think it makes them feel more real if they have one.


How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But there was some. And what dialogue there is looked good. At least it did t me.


Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have indented most of the paragraphs in this story. The only ones I probably wouldn’t have are the hyphenated sentences/paragraphs right after the dialogue that started C-A-S-I. I don’t think that it’s a grammar rule that says that you should. In fact, I’m sure there isn’t. A lot of writers, maybe even most of them, prefer not indent. It’s just the way that I like to write my stories.



I liked your story very much. Keep on writing.



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454
454
Review of Encounter  
Review by PureSciFi
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello Tom Terrific,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your tenth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. Personally, I would have separated the two paragraphs by a space. But I don’t think that it’s a grammar rule that says that you should do it. It’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


The Story: This is a story about a male who was trying to get back to his spaceship alive. The whereabouts of his misworded pregnant mate was unknown. It didn’t look like he would be able to do it. The enemy made it appear he wouldn’t. But in the end, it was the enemy that ended up being killed.


Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. From what I read it read like they were outside near a landed spaceship. Whether that spaceship was at a SpacePort of some kind or in the middle of a field or somewhere else is still unknown. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what the Word Count is as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Whoever thinks they are about to be killed is the main character in this story. Personally, I would have given him a name. The mate and enemy too. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real if they have a name. At least I think it does. But that’s just the way I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: What dialogue. There wasn’t any dialogue in this story. So I’m not going to comment on that. But there are a few Reviewers who still might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing. Personally, I disagree with that. I think you can show a story without dialogue. It depends on how you write your paragraphs.


Any Last Thoughts: I noticed that you started out several sentences with the same word one after another. Personally, I don’t do that. There have to be at least two words before I use a word to start a sentence again. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.



I liked your story very much. Keep on writing.



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455
455
Review by PureSciFi
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Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello Togofred,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your ninth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. But it was a little bit hard to read. I had a lot of trouble reading it.


The Story: This is a story about a SuperHero by the name of Pyro who is in a battle with his archenemy Iron Fist. They are in the middle of that battle when a meteorite interrupts it. A meteorite that Iron Fist uses to his advantage.


Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. I know it’s outside, but that’s all I know at the moment. Personally, I try to have at least one solid, vivid, location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot more, than that.


Your Main Character: Pyro and Iron Fist are both the main characters in this story. I’m glad you gave them names. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name. I think it makes them feel more real if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But there was some. Most of it was action. What dialogue there was did look good. At least it did to me.


Any Last Thoughts: The only possible problem that I read in this story was the sentence about the protagonist. I don’t think that should be there. Personally, I would also have broken up this one large paragraph into two, maybe even three or four, separate paragraphs. I’m not sure if it’s a grammar rule that says that you should do it. But I think that it’s easier to read it if you do. I know it is for me.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.



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456
456
Review of From The Darkness  
Review by PureSciFi
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Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello The Suffering,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your ninth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I did like it a lot. But I was a little bit confused by it too. For one thing, it was one big paragraph. Personally, I would have separated it into two, maybe even three or four, paragraphs. Don’t get me wrong, I did like it. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. But it was a little hard to read while doing it.


The Story: This isn’t really a story to me. It reads more like an Introduction to a story. Maybe even a rough outline to one. As this Novel progresses maybe the real story will come out.


Where Your Location Is: The location of this story takes place on Earth and the other eleven planets that surround it. What happened to the other three planets? Will that be explained in future Chapters? Did this take place at the beginning of our solar system? Are you saying there were Twelve planets in our solar system at one time? How do you know this truth? Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I can put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: There are no characters in this story. At least there aren’t any so far. Who is this story about? What is their name? Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name. I think it makes them feel more real if they have one. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.



How They Spoke to Me: What dialogue. There isn’t any in this story so far. So I’m not going to comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who still might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing. Which I don’t agree with. I think you can show a story without dialogue. It depends on how you write your paragraphs.


Any Last Thoughts: I’m curious about something. Why did you categorize this as a Short Story when it’s the beginning of a Novel? You even said at the beginning of it that it was Chapter One, Part One, of a Novel.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.



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457
457
Review of Time Warped  
Review by PureSciFi
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Rated: ASR | (4.0)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello vivacious,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eleventh year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is a story about a boy named Freddie who is about to enter some kind of a time warp field with his mother. He father soon joined them. But he ended up ninety years beyond them. And they were both dead.


Where Your Location Is: The moon is the main, and only, location for this story. Where they go once they enter that time warp is unknown. They might have stayed where they were or returned to the Earth or ended up somewhere else. Personally, I like to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself – sort of like this story. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Freddie is the main character in this story. But his mother and father, Henry, are also a big part of it. I am glad that you gave Freddie and Henry names. But I am wondering why you didn’t give one to your mother. It would have cut down on your Word Count a little if you had. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. I think that it makes them feel more real if they have one. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But there was a little. And what dialogue there was looked good. At least it did to me.


Any Last Thoughts: What contest was this story for? Was it the one-hundred-word contest? The reason why I ask is because there are a few questions that need to be answered but weren’t. like what the time warp looked like? Where did they go? Why was that part of the moon so deadly? Things like that.



I liked your story very much. Keep on writing.



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458
Review by PureSciFi
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Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello Paradoxical,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your seventh year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Fiction story. And I like it a whole lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is a story about a male, at least I think they are a male, who has come up from a dive into an underground cavern. In that cavern, there was a party going on. It appeared to be a satanic party of some kind. But it could have been a weird costume party too.


Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is the cavern that the skin diver found himself or herself in. You did pretty well in describing this location. And I like that. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself – sort of like this one. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot more, than that.


Your Main Character: Whoever this skin diver is, of course, is the main character in this story. Personally, I would have given the main character a name. Probably some of the others - if not all of them. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real if they have one. At least that’s what I think.


How They Spoke to Me: About half of this story was dialogue. And I like that. Personally, I try to have about half and half with my dialogue in all of my stories. If it’s not, then it’s usually dominated by dialogue. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


Any Last Thoughts: I’m not sure what that last few words in this story mean. They don’t make any sense to me. What does ‘scene’ mean?



I liked your story a whole lot. Keep on writing.



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459
459
Review by PureSciFi
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Rated: E | (3.5)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello Lost In Depth,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fourth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a whole lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is a story about a male named Quintin who is on a treasure hunt with his master. At least it reads like that. They have just exited from a forest. And they were about to go back into it.

Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is the forest they just exited and it’s surroundings. I think you did a pretty good job with describing the location in this story. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitation is as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it’s a little bit more, if not a lot more than that.


Your Main Character: Quintin is, of course, the main character in this story. But his master is also a big part of it. Personally, I would have given his master a name too. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real if they have one. At least I think it is. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There is only one word of dialogue in this story. And it looks good to me. That one word might not be enough for most, if not all of them, Reviewers. But I’m not one of them. They still might consider this story telling instead of showing. I disagree with that too. You can
still show a story without dialogue. It just the way that you write your paragraphs.

Any Last Thoughts: I think I noticed a couple of misspelled words like ‘if’ instead of ‘of’ and a couple of missing words. You might want to re-read this story again.



I liked your story a whole lot. Keep on writing.



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460
Review by PureSciFi
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Rated: E | (3.0)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello Lightspeed555,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading you Fiction story. And I did like it a lot – what I could understand of it. Which wasn’t much until the last paragraph. Don’t get me wrong, I did like it. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is a background story about the creation of the universe – and the Earth itself. In fact, almost this entire story is about that creation. Which makes it read more like an Essay or an Article to me. The only thing that makes this a story is the last paragraph in it. Is that enough to make it a story? I don’t think so.


Where Your Location Is: Wherever the male is at in that last paragraph is the main location. Some would say that the universe is the location for this story. Even if those facts were correct, which they aren’t, I still don’t consider that a location. Personally, I try to have at least one solid, vivid, location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But it’s usually a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: The male in this story is the main, and only, character in it. But he only appeared in the last paragraph of this story. And he didn’t even have a name. Personally, I would have given him a name. I try to do that with all of my characters. Especially the main ones.


How They Spoke to Me: What dialogue. There was no dialogue in this story. So I’m not going to comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who still might. And there is at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.


Any Last Thoughts: Is this the very beginning of a longer story – maybe even a Novel? That would explain the last paragraph. If so, has it progressed into that story?



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.



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Review by PureSciFi
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Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello HachiDommi,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your sixth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Fiction story. And I like it a lot – what I could understand of it. But it was a little bit confusing to me. It did keep me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. But it was a little hard to read it, though. I think you have the making of a good story here. It just needs a little fine-tuning. At least that’s my opinion.


The Story: I’m not exactly sure what the story is when it comes to this story. There is a lot of explaining in it, but that’s all it is. This reads to me like an outline to a longer, maybe even a Novel, story. Is that what this story is really about?


Where Your Location Is: The different countries on this alien planet are the location for this story. But what the countries look like exactly is unknown at the moment. There is a little about food, resources etc., but not much. Personally, I like to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But it’s usually a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: There aren’t any main characters in this story. At least not yet. Unless the different countries are considered the main characters. Personally, I don’t consider countries as characters. But that might just be me. I think characters should be individuals – whether it people, animals or aliens. Also, I think these individuals should have names. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. I think it makes them feel more real if they have one.


How They Spoke to Me: What dialogue? There wasn’t any dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are still some Reviewers who still might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.


Any Last Thoughts: Was this an outline for a future longer story like a Novel? If so, have you expanded into a longer story?



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.



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Review by PureSciFi
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Rated: ASR | (3.5)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello CaminoReal,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a whole lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started writing it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This was a story about a male named Edward who was on an airplane that was about to crash. Only he really wasn’t on any airplane. It was a simulation. At first, I didn’t know why this was classified as a Science Fiction story. But then it went into the second part. And there it was.


Where Your Location Is: The main location in this story was the airplane. But that wasn’t the only one. Where the simulation was at is also a location. A little more detail about that location would have been nice. But I understand why you didn’t – especially if there was a Word Count limitation with this story.


Your Main Character: Edward was, of course, the main character in this story. But the Flight Attendant and the Simulation Assistant was also in this story. I like that you gave Edward a name. But I would have given the other two names too. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. I think it makes them feel more real if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But what dialogue there was looked pretty good. At least it did to me. I think you made a few mistakes within them, though. You might want to re-read this again.


Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have placed a space between all of my paragraphs. I don’t think that it’s a grammar rule that says you should do it. But I think it makes it easier to read if you do it. You only didn’t do that once in this story that I noticed. And that could be because of the way you formatted it. That’s one of the reasons I indent all of my stories. It helps me see paragraphs like this. I usually have at least one or two that I wouldn’t catch if I didn’t proofread my Item while creating it.



I liked your story a whole lot. Keep on writing.



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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello Sum1,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your sixth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very, very much. I’m not just saying that because of who you are either. I really did like it that much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is a story about a couple of guys who are in the Navy. On this particular day it was their turn to go in the Tear Gas Chamber. And at least one of them was refusing to do it. Which is the one mistake, I think, you made in this story. I was in the Navy. You don’t have a choice about going in there.


Where Your Location Is: The boot camp is the main, and only, location for this story. I like that you gave your story a location. Personally, I try to have at least one location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations is as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot more, than that.


Your Main Character: Ted and John are the two main characters in this story. But there are several others. I like that you gave them names. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There was a lot of dialogue in this story. In fact, most of it is dialogue. Personally, I try to do half and half when it comes to dialogue and non-dialogue. As for the dialogue itself, it looked pretty good. At least it did to me. The only problem you might have with this story is that most Reviewers would think this repetition by using the same phrase over and over again. I do that a lot too – in both my stories and my reviews.


Any Last Thoughts: I noticed that you used the same word, in this case a name, to start one paragraph after another. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Most writers do that. I’m not one of them. Personally, I don’t do that. There has to be at least two paragraphs, or sentences, before I use a word again. But that’s just the way I like to write my stories.



I liked your story very, very much. Keep on writing.



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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello TheMovieChannel,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is a story about a fifteen-year-old who has a drug problem. She is about to enter a clinic for the next three months to get over that problem. At first I thought she was a him – especially when she mentioned her little younger sister. Then you gave her a name and I realized she was a she.


Where Your Location Is: The clinic waiting room is the main location in this story. Where they lived was briefly mentioned. But it was only mentioned. I liked that you gave your story a solid location. Personally, I try to have at least one vivid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But it’s usually a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: June is the main character in this story. But his mother is also a big part of this story. Even his younger sister is part of in. Personally, I would have given the mother and sister a name too. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: About half of this story was dialogue. And I like that. I try to have about half and half in all of my stories too. If they aren’t then it’s mostly dialogue. I’m getting better at making them half and half. As for the dialogue itself, it looked good. At least it did to me.


Any Last Thoughts: I’m curious about how old the younger sister was. The reason why I ask is because her age determines why she was snooping in her sister’s bedroom. She could be doing it is because she idolizes her. Or it could be that she wanted to get her into trouble. It all depends on her age.



I liked your story very much. Keep on writing.



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Review of The Last Cynthia  
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello Blue_Memphis,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your sixth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a whole lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop it until I finished it.


The Story: This is a story about a man, name unknown, who is an Multiple Earth dimensional travel. But it’s not really about the traveling. It’s about Cynthia. The Girl. He is in love with her. But he’s not the only one. So is multiple him. One of him is a serial killer. Who is after only one person – Cynthia. He’s going to kill all them. The other him band together to stop him.


Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where the location is for this story. He mentions traveling to different Earths. But not the locations once he gets there. Where did he keep his Planet Jumper when he wasn’t on another Earth? That would have been a location. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitation are as how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it just the location itself. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main character in this story. But he did have a name. the only name mentioned was Cynthia. Personally, I would have given him a name too. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I’m not going to comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might still do it. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.


Any Last Thoughts: It looks like you might have made at least one mistake when it comes to spelling. But there might be one or two more. The one that I noticed was ‘snaked.’ I think you meant ‘sneaked.’ You might want to re-read it again.



I liked your story a whole lot. Keep on writing.



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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello Geoff,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your second year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading you Short Story. And I did like it a lot. But I’m a little confused about it because of the title. It did keep me interested in it from beginning to end though. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is a story about two very wealthy males who are talking about getting ever wealthier by buying some other countries. When I first started reading this I thought that one, or both, of them were the butler in the title. Then when you brought in the butler I thought maybe he was going to kill them and become filthy rich. Is that’s what’s going to happen with this story?


Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is the living room, study, den etc. where these two males are talking. From the description of where surrounding it sounds like it’s a living room. But it also could be one of the others too. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as too how much detail I put into it. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Arthur and Paul are the two main characters in this story. But they weren’t the only ones. So was the butler – James. I like that you gave them names. Personally, I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if you have a name. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But about half of it was though. What dialogue there was looked good. At least it did to me.


Any Last Thoughts: I’m still a little confused about this Short Story. It’s categorized as a Short Story. But it looks more like a beginning of a Novel – especially how it ended. Why did you categorize this as a Short Story.? Is this the beginning of a Novel? Have you continued this story?

It looks like you might have used both Present and Past Tenses in this story. You might want to re-read this story.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.



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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello October,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eleventh year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I did like it. But it was a little bit confusing to me. It did keep my interest from beginning to end though. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is a story about a female who is remembering the male she loved – loves. And she’s doing it in the rain. What I don’t understand is what this story has to do with Summer. There is no reference to it in this story. Am I wrong about that?


Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure what the location is for this story. I know it’s outside in the rain somewhere. But I’m not sure where that somewhere is at. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Whoever this female is she is the main, and only, character in this story. Personally, I would have given her a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There is no dialogue in this story. So I’m not going to comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who still might do it. And there is at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.


Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have separated these paragraphs by a space. I don’t think that it’s a grammar rule that says that you should. In fact, I’m sure there isn’t because a lot of writers do it that way. But I think it’s easier to read a story if you do.



I did like your story. Keep on writing.



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#1300305 by Maryann




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Hello live_laugh_lovewriting,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your second year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I did like it a lot. But I was a little confused about it too. It did keep my interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is a story about a teenage boy, I think, who is spending his Summer vacation looking at the world below the cliff that he’s on. Not only is he looking he’s also taking some death chances by looking over that cliff.


Where Your Location Is: The cliff that he, if it is a he, is at is the location for this story. I think you did a pretty good job at describing this location. Personally, I try to have one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count is as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But it’s usually a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main, and only, character in this story. Personally, I would have given them a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories. In this story, a name would have given your character a gender. Unless it was one of those who could be either gender.


How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I’m not going to comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who still might do it. And there is at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.


Any Last Thoughts: I noticed that you wrote this story in present tense. Which is very hard to do. I’ve tried to do it myself a couple of times. But it didn’t work out so good. I didn’t notice any past tenses. That doesn’t mean there aren’t any. You might want to check into that – just in case we both missed any.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.



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Rated: E | (4.0)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Summer Fun shared image


Hello Marissa,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is about a boy, name unknown, who just get home to start his Summer vacation when he is hit over the head by a masked individual. That’s just the beginning of this story.


Where Your Location Is: The main location for this story is the house he and his mom lived in. But the school, and the school bus, are also a big part of this story.


Your Main Character: Whoever this boy is he’s the main, and pretty much the only one at the moment, character of this story. Personally, I would have given him a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name.


How They Spoke to Me: There isn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But there is some. And what dialogue there is looked good. At least it did to me.


Any Last Thoughts: I am curious about something. You classified this as a Short Story. But it looks more like Part One of the first Chapter in a Novel. Even your title and paragraph about Reviews said that. Did this ever expand into a Novel?



I liked your story very much. Keep on writing.



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Review of Summer Fun 1965  
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#1300305 by Maryann




Summer Fun shared image


Hello tonilove,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your seventh year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I did like it. But it was a little hard for me to read though. It did keep me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is a story about a young girl, I’m not sure exactly what her age is, who likes to play the game of ‘Tag’ in a nearby field. By the way she was acting, and the game itself, I would say that her age, their ages, where upper childhood or preteens. Are they still called that or is it tweens now? They may have been early teens too.


Where Your Location Is: The location for this story was the field they played ‘Tag’ in. Where this field is at is unknown. Personally, I try to have at least one vivid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into it. Sometimes it’s just the location itself – sort of like this one. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Of course, the girl who is telling this story is the main character in it. Personally, I would have given her a name too. The only name that was given was Johnny. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main one. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t much dialogue in this story. In fact, it was only that one line repeated several times. A lot of Reviewers would consider this repetition.


Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have separated the paragraphs with a space. I’m not sure if it’s a grammar rule that says you should. But I think it’s easier to read a story if you do.



I did like your story - even though it probably didn’t sound like I did. Keep on writing.



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#1300305 by Maryann




Summer Fun shared image


Hello tYpO starring as T.Boilerman,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your ninth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is a story about a teenager named Dave who spent his Summer vacation reading instead of going to Maui, Australia and Thailand. Of course, when they met at the end of that Summer he told his friends he visited Missouri and Mississippi.


Where Your Location Is: The main location for this story is wherever Dave read Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. But where he and his friends met before and after that Summer is also a location. So is Maui, Australia, Thailand, Missouri and Mississippi too – sort of. Only not physically with them.


Your Main Character: Dave is the main character in this story. But his friends Sharon, Billie and Ken are also a big part of this story. I’m glad that you gave them names. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. I think that it makes them feel more real if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But there was a little. And what dialogue there was looked good. At least it did to me.


Any Last Thoughts: The only mistake that I think that you might have made is when you capitalized dad. I don’t think that it’s supposed to be capitalized.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.



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#1300305 by Maryann




Summer Fun shared image


Hello Lil Miss Sarcastic,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I like it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is a story about a girl, age unknown, who is observing the world around her from a window. From what she wrote about in that first paragraph it read like she wasn’t just reflecting from that particular day. But from what happened all Summer long. Is there a reason why she spent her Summer staring out a window?


Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. If I read this right the window belonged to a house on a sometimes busy street. But I’m not even sure about that. Personally, I try to have at least one specific location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into it. Sometimes it’s just the location itself – sort of like this one. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Of course, the girl in this story is the main, and only, character in this story. Personally, I would have given this girl a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I’m not going to comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who still might do it. And there is at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.


Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I wouldn’t have started a paragraph with the same word one paragraph after another. There has to be at least two paragraphs before I us the same word again. The same is true when it comes to sentences too. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.



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Rated: E | (3.0)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Summer Fun shared image


Hello bluehats#5,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eleventh year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is a story about someone, not sure if it’s a male or female, who is riding on a train home after attending their father’s funeral. While on that train they see a fire and people dancing around in.


Where Your Location Is: The train that they are on is the main location for this story. But the mention of where that train was at, Rocky Mountains, is also a location too. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into it. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But it’s usually a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main character in it. Personally, I would have given them a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name.


How They Spoke to Me: There is no dialogue in this story. So I’m not going to comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who still might do it. And there is at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.


Any Last Thoughts: Who is this someone? Are they male or female? A name would probably solve all that. Unless it’s a name that can go with either gender.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.



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#1300305 by Maryann




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Hello Emilyisawesomeagain,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your seventh year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is a story about a female named Melanie. Who has gone to the beach to get a suntan like all of her friends. What she really gets is a lot worse.


Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is the beach that Melanie is at. Where exactly this beach is at is unknown. Is that because of a Word Count limitation? Personally, I try to have at least one vivid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into it. Sometimes it’s just the location itself – sort of like this one. But it’s usually a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Melanie is of course the main character, the only one, in this story. I’m glad that you gave her a name. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. I think it makes them feel more real if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I’m not going to comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who still might do that. And there is at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.


Any Last Thoughts: I am curious about one thing. What is the age of Melanie? Personally, I like to give my characters an age when it comes to kids and teenagers. Sometimes I usage an age range with the adults – but not too often. An age for Melanie would have been nice. It read like she was a teenager. But I’m not sure about that for sure.



I liked your story very much. Keep on writing.



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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of The Last Leaf  
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*



GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann




Hello ladypsych26,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your seventh year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Poetry. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. Good job.


What I Liked the Most: This poem rhymed. That’s why I liked it as much as I did. If I ever do write a poem that the kind of a poem I will write. What I don’t understand about it though is that only part of each section rhymes. Is that the normal way to write a poem now or is it just the way that you like to write them?


Did I Dislike Anything About This: There’s nothing really wrong with the way that you wrote this. But it was a little bit confusing. At least it was to me. I know it’s about a leaf, tree and a storm. But I’m not even sure about that. Maybe what this poem needs is a story within it. It looks like just a bunch of words put together to me. I know that when it comes to Poetry a story isn’t needed. But this time I think it would help it. It makes a poem easier to read and understand, I think, if there is a story involved.

Any Last Thoughts: I’m not a big fan of Poetry. Probably because I couldn’t write a poem if my life depended on it. I have thought about trying it though. With all the Poetry out there I thought I would give it a try at reviewing. And I’m glad I did with this poem. I think you did a good job with this one. A very good job.



I liked your poem a lot. Keep on writing.


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