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376
376
Review of Buddy  
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)


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2016


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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello Lady Elf,

Seasons Greeting from a fellow Reviewer. This is the time of year when only nice, not naughty, words are given. I hope that I can give you those words in this review. *BigSmile*

As you probably already know, these are just my opinions. If you don't agree with them that's okay.



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your poetry entitled Buddy. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in reading it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is a story about a buddy who died. And the person telling this story who wasn't there for them. Why he wasn’t there is still unknown. How the Buddy died is too. But this a poem. And poems are even more limited than stories are.


Where Your Location Is: There was no location in this story. But that’s not unusual when it comes to poetry. It’s hard to do in a poem. But it’s not impossible. Personally, I would have found a way to do that. I try to have at least one solid location in all of my of stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it was a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: I’m not exactly sue who the main character is in this story. I don’t even know if they are male or female. But I think it’s a male. A name would have helped. Unless it’s a name that can go with either gender. Like the location it's hard to put names into a poem. But I would have found a way. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name. Especially the main ones. I think it makes them feel more real if they have one. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: there is no dialogue in this story. But I’m not surprised about that since this is a poem. I haven’t read a lot of poetry. But what I have I have never read any that Contained dialogue.


Any Last Thoughts: I don’t know too much about poetry. But I have finally tried to write one for another phony contest. If you want to read it it's in my ASA Portfolio – PureSciFiPlus.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.



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377
377
Review of Forest of Thought  
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)


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2016


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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello Blake,

Seasons Greeting from a fellow Reviewer. This is the time of year when only nice, not naughty, words are given. I hope that I can give you those words in this review. *BigSmile*

As you probably already know, these are just my opinions. If you don't agree with them that's okay.



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Fiction story entitled Forest of Thought. And I liked it a whole lot. It kept me interested in reading it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is a story about an older male named Monolo who lived in Costa Rica. He worked in an inventory store of some kind, and lived near a wooded area he frequented as often as he could. Even in the rain he loves to go there.


Where Your Location Is: Of course, this story takes place in Costa Rica. I like that you gave this story a location. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Monolo is the main, and pretty much the only, character in this story. And I like that you gave him a name. A lot, if not most, writers don't. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name. Especially the main ones. I think it makes them feel more real if they have one. But that's just the way that I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I'm not going to comment on that. But there are still some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing. Personally, I disagree with that. I think you can show a story with or without dialogue. It all depends on how you write your paragraphs.


Any Last Thoughts: I noticed you didn’t indent your paragraphs. Personally, would have. There’s nothing wrong if you don’t. I'm pretty sure there isn’t any grammar rules saying that you should. In fact, I’m sure there isn’t. A lot, if not most, writers write like you do. It’s just the way I like to write my stories.



I liked your story a whole lot. Keep on writing.



** Image ID #1964980 Unavailable **




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378
378
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)


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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello Prosperous Snow (Neva),

Seasons Greeting from a fellow Reviewer. This is the time of year when only nice, not naughty, words are given. I hope that I can give you those words in this review. *BigSmile*

As you probably already know, these are just my opinions. If you don't agree with them that's okay.



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Letter, A Letter to My Younger Self, and I liked it a whole lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Letter: This is a letter to your younger self, a ten-year-old you according to your title description, about a warning not to give up when the going gets rough. You wrote it to yourself to remind you that there are going to be some bad times, but even them won’t be too bad. That you are going to be okay. I think you did a very good job with this letter.


What I like best: I’m not exactly sure what I should be saying here because I liked it all. But if I had to choose I guess it would be the part about joining writing.com. I think that’s the best thing I have ever done too. The second best is joining the Power Reviewers too.


Was there anything I didn't like: This really isn’t a dislike because there wasn’t anything I disliked about this Letter. I’m sorry to hear about your mother passing away. I lost my mother in 1997 and my oldest brother in 2013. So, I know what you are going through. You miss her and that you never will.


Any Last Thoughts: I know that I have already reviewed you before. But this is a port Raid and per the Raid Captains multiple reviews are okay. Of course, I think they meant multiples for this Raid. I also know that I didn’t review you because of a Letter. That’s why I am doing this review. If you don’t like this, please let me know and I will never do this again.



I liked your Letter a whole lot. Keep on writing.



** Image ID #1976760 Unavailable **




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379
379
Review of For my Country  
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)


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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello sleeky_basileus,

Seasons Greeting from a fellow Reviewer. This is the time of year when only nice, not naughty, words are given. I hope that I can give you those words in this review. *BigSmile*

As you probably already know, these are just my opinions. If you don't agree with them that's okay.



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.


Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Essay, For my Country, and I liked it a whole lot. It kept me interested in reading it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. Good job.


The Essay: At first I have to admit that I didn’t think that I was going to like this because I’m not really into essays. But I wanted to try something different. So, I decided to try this. Who knows maybe next year I will review nothing but Essays.


What I like best: I’m not sure what I liked the best because I liked it all. If I had to choose something I guess it would be that it’s very patriotic. And I like that.


Was there anything that I didn’t like: Some, if not a lot of readers, might find this hard to read. It is pretty sophisticated. Of course, that might be just me. After all, those who like to read Essays probably won’t think this is so sophisticated as I do.


Any Last Thoughts: I don’t know too much about Essays. Can you indent them? Personally, I like to Indent all my Short Stories and Novels. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.



I liked your Essay a whole lot. Keep on writing.


** Image ID #1964980 Unavailable **




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380
380
Review of Images  
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)


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2016


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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello Steve have funds for Premium!,

Seasons Greeting from a fellow Reviewer. This is the time of year when only nice, not naughty, words are given. I hope that I can give you those words in this review. *BigSmile*

As you probably already know, these are just my opinions. If you don't agree with them that's okay.



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I liked your images very much. In fact, I couldn’t decide on just one to do. So, I decided to review all of them.


The Image(s): These aren’t classified as images. They are Clip Art. Which still makes them images. But they aren’t actually images. Personally, I think that they are images. Especially since most of them are images.


What I like best: That’s an easy answer. I liked it all. If I had to choose just one, it would have to be one of them with an actual picture within it. The only problem I have is which one do I choose. I don’t think I can choose. That’s why I am reviewing all of them.


Was there anything I didn't like: There really wasn’t any images that I didn’t like. If I did have to choose it would be one of them that didn’t have a picture within it. But like the ones with pictures I can’t choose which one I like the least.


Any Last Thoughts: I notice the ones that didn’t have a picture within them had a story. They did have a picture. But it wasn’t an image. I’ve never seen anything like that before. I have seen ones with a few words. In fact, I have created a few like that. And I’m about to increase that soon. But I haven’t seen any stories until now.



I liked your image(s) very much. Keep on writing.



** Image ID #1798477 Unavailable **




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381
381
Review of Images  
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)


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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello Charlie.,

Seasons Greeting from a fellow Reviewer. This is the time of year when only nice, not naughty, words are given. I hope that I can give you those words in this review. *BigSmile*

As you probably already know, these are just my opinions. If you don't agree with them that's okay.



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I liked these images very much. In fact, I liked them so much I couldn’t pick just one to review. So, I decided to review them all.


The Image(s): Most of these aren’t exactly images to me. An image to me is a picture of something. They are either Signatures or Clip Art with one that’s actually a photograph. And most of the Signatures or Clip Art aren’t pictures.


What I like best: Like I already wrote I couldn’t decide on only one image because I liked them all. But if I had to choose one it would probably be the Siggy Signatures. Yes, I know that’s really three signatures. But they are all related. So are the Skull sigs. Which I also liked a whole lot too.


Was there anything I didn't like: I’m not sure how to respond to this. I didn’t really dislike any of these images. But once again if I had to choose any it would be the ones that aren’t actually images to me.


Any Last Thoughts: I also noticed that I have reviewed you before. But it wasn’t an image, though. That’s why I decided to review these this time. That, and per our Raid Captains multiple reviews are okay this month. If it’s not please let me know and I won’t do it again.




I liked your image(s) very much. Keep on writing.



** Image ID #1976760 Unavailable **




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382
382
Review of Images  
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)


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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello Jeff,

Seasons Greeting from a fellow Reviewer. This is the time of year when only nice, not naughty, words are given. I hope that I can give you those words in this review. *BigSmile*

As you probably already know, these are just my opinions. If you don't agree with them that's okay.



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I liked these images very much. In fact, I liked them so much I couldn’t pick just one to review. So, I decided to review them all. I also noticed that I have reviewed you before. But it wasn’t an image, though. That’s why I decided to review these this time. That, and per our Raid Captains multiple reviews are okay this month. If it’s not please let me know and I won’t do it again.


The Image(s): The first thing that I noticed about these images is that about half of them are images for the Short Shot Contest. And the other half were Logo/Texts. I liked the Short Shot images the most. Not just because I have entered several of the contests. But because they are more like what I consider images than the Logo/Texts are.


What I like best: Like I just wrote I like the Short Shot images the best. Don’t get me wrong, I liked the Logo/Text images too. Just not quite as much.


Was there anything I didn't like: It’s not really a dislike, but the Logo/Texts aren’t as good as the Short Shot ones are. The Logo/Texts images that look like medal or awards are better than the animated that aren’t actually animating ones.


Any Last Thoughts: I also noticed that not all of your images are either Short Shot or Logo/Texts ones. You also had an Album one. Which read more like a folder than an image in the description. Is an Album the same as a folder when it comes to images? The other image not related to the first two is the Illustration one. At first I thought it was a self-portrait. But after looking at it, the title, and the description several times I realized it wasn’t.



I liked your image(s) very much. Keep on writing.



** Image ID #1964980 Unavailable **




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383
383
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello Hatfield of AotC,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your twelfth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading you Fiction story, (working title) Klingon Volleyball, and I liked it a whole lot. It kept me interested in reading it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. I’m not a big fan of writing Fanfiction, even though I have written several stories based on titles for the crooked Prompt Me Trekly contest, but I do like to read these type of stories.


The Story: This isn’t really a story to me. It reads more like a newspaper story than a Short Story or in this particular genre a Fiction story. Whether it is a story or not it was about an upcoming volleyball game in which the Klingons would be participating in for the first time.


Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. But it reads like whoever is writing this story for the newspaper is reading it out loud to themselves. Is that what they are doing? Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Whoever wrote this newspaper story is the main character in it. At least I think they are. But I’m not sure about that. It could be the Klingons or even the volleyball game itself. Yes, a sport and be a main character if the story is about that. And this reads like it is. Personally, I would have given this character a name. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real to me if they have one. But that’s just the way I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There really wasn’t any dialogue in this story. Unless he’s reading it to themselves. Then all of it is dialogue. Since it wasn’t written like that I’m not going to comment on the dialogue. But there are some Reviewers who still might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing. Personally, I disagree with that. I think you can tell a story with or without dialogue. It all depends on how you write your paragraphs.


Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I wouldn’t have put ‘(working title)’ in the title. I would have just stuck with ‘Klingon Volleyball’ as my title. Even if I change my mind later, which I often do, I think it looks more professional without it. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.



I liked your story a whole lot. Keep on writing.



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384
384
Review of World Of Darkness  
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello Nightscribe,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Fiction story, World of Darkness, and I did like it. It kept me interested in reading it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. But I did have some trouble reading it. Mostly because of all the capitalization, punctuation, and misspelling errors within it.


The Story: I’m not exactly sure what this story is about. I know it’s about darkness where Legent was looking for a female named Bria, but other than that I’m not sure. What was this story about? Why was there darkness everywhere? How did it start? What was the solution to it? None of those questions were answered.


Where Your Location Is: The location for this story was Littleton. I like that you gave your story a location. A lot of writers, if not most of them, don’t do that. You could have given us a little bit more detail in this story, but I understand why you didn’t if there was a Word Count limitation. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself – sort of like this one. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Both Legend and Bria are the main characters of this story. I like that you gave them names. A lot of writers, if not most of them, don’t do that. Personally, I would have given that person a name too. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real to me if they have a name. that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t too much dialogue in this story, but there was some. What dialogue there was looked good. At least it did to me.


Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have separated this one paragraph into two, maybe even three or four, paragraphs. There’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t think that it’s a grammar rule that says that you should do it. In fact, I’m sure there isn’t. a lot of writers, if not most of them, write like you did in this story.



I liked your story. Keep on writing.



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385
385
Review of THIS ANIMAL  
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello thomas_irving2006,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your seventh year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Fiction story, THIS ANIMAL, and I did like it. It kept me interested in reading it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. I did have a lot of trouble read it. Mostly because this isn’t a fiction story. It’s a poem.


The Story: This is a story about a very dangerous animal that was on the loose. An animal that needed to be feared. At least that what it read like to me.


Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. Since it’s Science Fiction genre wise it’s probably Earth or an Earth related colony, ship etc. but I’m not sure. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this poem is the main character in this story. Personally, I would have given this person a name. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real to me if they have one. That’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I’m not going to comment on that, but there are some Reviewers who still might, and at least one Reviewer who would consider this story telling instead of showing. Personally, I disagree with that. I think you can show a story with or without dialogue. It all depends on how you write your paragraphs.


Any Last Thoughts: I am curious about one thing. Why did you categorize this as Fiction when it’s a poem?



I liked your story. Keep on writing.



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386
386
Review of the beginning  
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello Juxston,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your ninth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your fiction story, The Beginning, and I did liked it. It kept me interested in reading it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. But I was a little bit confused by it. What I am mostly confused about is how this is a Science Fiction or a Fantasy story. Is it because this story is about an alien?


The Story: This is a story about a male named Zeek. He’s reflecting on a heavy night of drinking and how he’s dealing with it in the morning. At least that’s what it reads like to me.


Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. I know it’s either an apartment or a house, but I’m not sure which one it is. It could also be a townhouse, condo, or mobile home. Personally, I would have gone into a little bit more detail where this location is taking place. I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Of course, Zeek is the main character in this story. In fact, he’s the only one. I like that you gave him a name. A lot of writers, if not most of them, don’t do that. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. I think that it makes them feel more real if they have a name. That’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There was only one line of dialogue in this story and it looked pretty good. At least it did to me. I’m not sure but that one line might not be enough for most, if not all, of the other Reviewers. They might consider this story telling instead of showing. Personally, I disagree with that. I think you can show a story with or without dialogue. It all depends on how you write your paragraphs.


Any Last Thoughts: Was this an entry into a Word Count Limitation Contest like 55 Words? Is that why you didn’t go into too much detail about where he lived? It sure does read like one.



I liked your story. Keep on writing.



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387
387
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Welcome to "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
*Jackolantern* *Pumpkin* *Leafo* Fall into Hallow-Scream Raid *Jackolantern* *Pumpkin* *Leafo*


Hello BenTreeleaf,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eleventh year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Fiction Horror/Scary story, The Place, part II, and I liked it very much. It kept me interested in reading it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. What I liked the best was the Suspense and the Mystery. It kept me in suspense all the way through it. The mystery is still a mystery to me. Maybe I need to read part one first or is it in future parts?


The Story: This is the story about a male who may or may not be a boy. He’s trapped in a torture chamber of some kind. Why is he there? How did he get there? Was that answered in part one or in future parts? Are these parts part of a bigger Short Story or maybe even a Novel?


Where Your Location Is: A torture chamber is mentioned in the first part, no pun intended, of your story. Then an almost normal looking room in the second. I think you did a very good job at describing these locations. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Is it Zack or his torturer who is the main character in this story. I think it’s both. Zack is in it a little bit more than his torturer. So, a lot of Reviewers might think the torturer is the main character. Then again, a lot wouldn’t because of who he is or what he looks like. Personally, I disagree with that. It doesn’t matter to me if they are human, alien, or an animal to me it’s whoever is in it the most. They are the main characters. If it’s close I mention them both or all. What I would have done differently was give the torturer a name too. It could be something generic like ‘Terrane the Torturer’ or something worse. Personally, I try to give all my characters a name – especially the main ones. I think that it makes them feel more if they have one. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There was quite a bit of dialogue in this story. And the dialogue itself looked good. At least it did to me. The only thing I probably would have done differently was to separate that first paragraph into several smaller ones. Especially when it comes to the dialogue. I think it should have its own paragraph. My only limitation is that there must be at least two sentences in my paragraph. It doesn’t matter if it’s dialogue or not. What does matter is that there are at least two of them. Once again, that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


Any Last Thoughts: I am curious about something. Why did you break this story into parts? Was there a Word Count limitation involved? Is that why this part seemed to just suddenly end? I know that there was a part one and two. But are there any other parts. Have you turned this into a bigger Short Story or a Novel yet? I know that’s this is a lot of questions. But that’s just the Mystery writer in me.


I liked your story very much. Keep on writing.



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388
388
Review of The creature  
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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#1300305 by Maryann




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Hello Mimulous,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your twelfth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Fiction Horror/Scary story, The Creature, and I liked it very, very much. It kept me interested in reading it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until finished it. What I liked best about it was the suspense. It kept me in suspense as to who this creature was all the way through it.


The Story: This is a story about someone who is in fear from an attack by a creature. At least that’s what it read like. I think this someone was female. Probably a preteen or early teen. She may have been a little younger or older. I think it’s a she because of who the creature turns out to be. Am I right about her gender and her age?


Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. But if I’m right about her gender and age I would say it’s a bedroom. Even if I am wrong about that from what I read it’s still probably a bedroom. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main character in it. Unless you want to count the creature too. I probably would. But most Reviewers wouldn’t. Since it’s not human, alien etc. it can’t be a character. I would have also given them a name. but there are a lot of writer, maybe even most of them, who don’t. Personally, I try to give all my characters a name – especially the main ones. I think it makes them feel more real if they have one. But that’s just the way I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So, I’m not going to comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who still might do it. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing. Personally, I disagree with that. I think that you can show a story with or without dialogue. It all depends on how you write your paragraphs.


Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have indented these one sentence paragraphs. I don’t think that it’s a grammar rule that says you should do it. In fact, I’m sure there isn’t. A lot of writers, maybe even most of them, write like you do. Personally, I wouldn’t have made them one sentence paragraphs either. For me there must be at least two sentences to be a paragraph. But that’s just the way I like to write my stories.



I liked your story very, very much. Keep on writing.



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389
Review of Lost Souls  
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Welcome to "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
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Hello Abawida,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your seventh year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Fiction Horror/scary story, Lost Souls, and I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in reading it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. But I did have a lot of trouble reading it. I had to read some of it a couple of times.


The Story: I’m still not exactly sure what this story is about. I know it’s about two individual. And one of them is a female. I’m not sure what gender the other one is. But I think it’s a male. What was this story supposed to be about?


Where Your Location Is: Like the story itself, I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. There doesn’t seem to be any location in this story. I’m sure there is one. But I couldn’t read it. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: I know that there is a female in this story. And she is a main character in it. But she’s not the only one. There is someone else I think is a male. Whoever they are they are also a main character in this story. Names would have helped identify who these characters are. Unless they are names that fit either gender. Personally, I try to give all my characters a name – especially the main ones. I think that it makes them feel more real if they have name. But that’s just the way I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There was a lot of dialogue in this story. In fact, most of it was dialogue. And I like that. I try to have all my stories about half/half. If I can’t then it is dominated by dialogue. A lot of Reviewers think that this is telling instead of showing. But I disagree with that. I think that you can show a story with or without dialogue. It all depends on how you write your paragraphs.


Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have indented these paragraphs. I don’t think that it’s a grammar rule that says that you should do it. In fact, I’m sure there isn’t. A lot of writers, if not most of them, write like you do. I’m just not one of them.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.



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390
390
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Welcome to "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
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Hello Nekrott,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your sixth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Fiction Horror/Scary story, prisoner of the void, and I did like it. But I had a lot of trouble reading it. It didn’t may any sense to me. The biggest problem I read was the lack of capitalization. There wasn’t any. True, that isn’t a drawback to being able to read your story. But it is still a problem with this story.


The Story: I’m not exactly sure what this story is about. Like the capitalization there doesn’t seem to be any. I think it’s a story about a female trying to survive in a post disaster era. Is that what this story is about? What is this story about?


Where Your Location Is: It looks like this story takes place in the wastelands. Where exactly these wastelands are being unknown. I’m not even sure about that. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Whoever is trying to live in this story is the main character. I’m not even sure if it is a male or female. But I think it’s a female. A name would help to identify the gender. Unless it’s a name that can go for both
Genders. Personally, I try to give all my characters a name – especially the main ones. I think that it makes them feel more real if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There is no dialogue in this story. So, I’m not going to comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who still might do it. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing. Personally, I disagree with that. I think you can show a story with or without dialogue. It all depends on how you write your paragraphs.


Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have indented these paragraphs. I don’t think it’s a grammar rule that says that you should do it. In fact, I’m sure there isn’t. A lot of writers, if not most of them, write like you do. I’m just not one of them.



I did liked your story. Keep on writing.



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391
391
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Welcome to "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
*Jackolantern* *Pumpkin* *Leafo* Fall into Hallow-Scream Raid *Jackolantern* *Pumpkin* *Leafo*


Hello graecyn,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fourth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Fiction Horror/Scary story, Like Scarlet Velvet, and I liked it a whole lot. It kept me interested in reading it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. What I liked best about it was the suspense. It kept me in suspense all the way through it.


The Story: This is a story about a female, name unknown, who is running from someone. That someone turned out to be a vampire. A vampire that catches up to her. In fact, she ran right into him. That’s the last thing she did. I’m not a big fan of vampire stories. But I think you did a very good job with this story.


Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. I know it’s an alley in London. But I’m not sure what part of London it is. A little bit more detail would have been nice. I understand why you didn’t. Word Count limitations can be a big problem sometimes. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself – sort of like this one. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Whoever this female is she is the main character in this story. But the vampire is also a main character. A name for them would have been nice too. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. I think that it makes them feel more real if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I’m not going to comment on that. But there are still some Reviewers who might do it. And at least one Reviewer who would think this telling instead of showing. Personally, I disagree with that. I think that you can show a story with or without dialogue. It all depends on how you write your paragraphs.


Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have indented these paragraphs. I don’t think that it’s a grammar rule that says that you should. In fact, I’m sure there isn’t. A lot of writers, if not most of them, write like you do. I’m just not one of them.



I liked your story a whole lot. Keep on writing.



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392
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Welcome to "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
*Jackolantern* *Pumpkin* *Leafo* Fall into Hallow-Scream Raid *Jackolantern* *Pumpkin* *Leafo*


Hello elle,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your seventh year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Fiction Horror/Scary story, Don’t Close Your Eyes, and I did like it. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. Which isn’t saying too much for this story since is it so short. It gives a new meaning to Short Story. Maybe that’s why you categorized it as Fiction.


The Story: This is a story about someone who find themselves in a situation that they have to escape from. I’m not exactly sure who is ‘telling’ this story, what their gender is, or how old they are. All that would have been helpful and nice to know. I think you have a beginning of a good story here. It just needs to be stretched out a lot. Did you expand on this story?


Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure were this story takes place. There doesn’t seem to be one for this story. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. True, that isn’t always easy to do, but it can be done. For me, it all depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Whoever is ‘telling’ this story is the main, and only, character in this story. Personally, I would have given them a name – especially the main ones. I try to do that with all of my stories. It makes them feel more real if they have one. At least I think that they do. But that’s just my opinion.

How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I’m not going to comment on that. But there are some
Reviewers who still might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this story telling instead of showing. Which is a definitely a no-no. Personally, I disagree with that. I think you can show a story with or without dialogue. It all depends on how you write your paragraphs.


Any Last Thoughts: It looks like you have a major problem with sentence structure, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling. You might want to check that out.



I did like your story. Keep on writing.



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393
393
Review of The ham  
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello quanabowser,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fourth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Fiction story, The Ham, and I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in reading it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is a Detective story about a young female named Alee who invited her neighbor Harry over for a Christmas ham dinner made by her grandma. Everything was going well until they started eating the molasses ham. Harry was allergic to molasses. As a result, he died on Christmas day.


Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. It reads like it’s a house or an apartment. But I’m not sure which one it is. It’s probably a house, but it could be an apartment too. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Alee is the main character in this story. But her grandma and Harry are a big part of it too. I like that you gave Alee and Harry a name, but you didn’t give one for Alee’s grandma. Was there a reason for that? Personally, I would have given her a name too. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real if they have a name. At least that’s what I think.


How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But there was some. And what dialogue there was looked good to me.


Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have separated this one paragraph into two, maybe even three or four, paragraphs. Especially when it comes to the parts with the dialogue. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.




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394
394
Review of Maiming the Rose  
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello Risingmoon123,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your sixth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Fiction story, Maiming the Rose, and I did like it. It kept me interested in reading it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. But I did have a lot of trouble reading it, though. Mostly because this really isn’t a story. It’s a poem.


The Story: I’m not exactly sure what this Crime/Gangster is about. There doesn’t seem to be any story here. What was this story about?


Where Your Location Is: Once again, I’m not sure what the location is for this story. I’m sure there is one, but I can’t read it. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: What character? I’m not sure about this part of the story either. I guess whoever is ‘telling’ this ‘story’ is the main character in it. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real if they have a name. At least that’s what I think.


How They Spoke to Me: There was a quote mentioned in this story. But there was no dialogue. So I’m not going to comment on that. There are still some Reviewers who might. And there is at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing. Personally, I disagree with that. I think you can show a story with or without dialogue. It all depends on how you write your paragraphs.


Any Last Thoughts: I am curious about one thing. Why did you categorize this as a Fiction story instead of a poem?



I liked your story. Keep on writing.




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395
395
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello Audrey Dillinger,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Fiction story, EXCERPT: MURDER OF CROWS, and I did like it. It kept me interested in reading it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. But I did have a lot of trouble reading it. Maybe it’s just too sophisticated for me.


The Story: I’m not exactly sure what this Mystery story is about. It read like it had something to do with experimentation with emotions. So far those emotions weren’t too scary. But what about pain and fear. What is going to happen when they check that out too? Is that what this story is about?


Where Your Location Is: Once again, I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. If I’m right about this being an experimentation story the location for this story is probably a lab of some kind. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much details I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Bex, Bastion, and Dr. Willis are the characters in this story. And I like that you gave them names. A lot of writers, if not most of them, don’t. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. I think that it makes them feel more real if they have a name. But that’s just the way I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But there was some. And what dialogue there was looked good. At least it did to me.


Any Last Thoughts: I noticed that you had three, maybe even four or five, spaces between paragraphs. I’m not for sure, but I don’t think that you should use more than one space between paragraphs. You might want to check into that.



I liked your story. Keep on writing.




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396
396
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello Lourtney,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your second year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Fiction story, The Hated Hunter, and I liked it a whole lot. It kept me interested in reading it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. What I liked the most about this story was the suspense within it.


The Story: This is a Detective story about four early teens who responded to a scream they heard in the woods behind one of their houses. At least I think they are teens about thirteen to fifteen. But they could preteen, or is it tweens now, too. Whoever they are and whatever their ages are they go into the woods in response to that scream only to find a woman yelling because her pet deer needed help.


Where Your Location Is: A little of this story takes place at the house where at least one of the youngsters lived. But most of it takes place in the wooded area behind that house. I think you did a very good job with this location description. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: I’m not exactly sure who the main character is in this story. I know that Alex and John are two of them. But the other two youngsters and the woman they respond to don’t have one. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially for the main ones. I think that it makes them more real if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But there was some. And what dialogue there was looked good. At least it did to me.


Any Last Thoughts: I am not an expert when it comes to punctuation. In fact, up until recently when I started using grammarly I was one of the worst. But most of my grammar problem was with commas and tenses. When it comes to sentence structure I’m pretty sure you didn’t put a period at the end of a sentence. You did do it. But it reads like you could have placed one in some of those sentences making them two sentences.



I liked your story a whole lot. Keep on writing.




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397
397
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello TS,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your second year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Fiction story, This Idea that I Had, and I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in reading it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is a story about a male who is asked to do some research on his laptop by his father. It sounds like this male might be a teenager. Maybe even an early teen or a preteen, or is it tween now, but I’m not sure about that. While doing that research the male found out something shocking about his father. He found out his father was married at least once before he married her mother.


Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. I know that it’s a room somewhere in a house or an apartment. But I’m not sure what kind of room that was. It was probably a bedroom, but it could have been wherever the laptop was. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main character in it. But his father, Michael B. Sharp, was a big part of it too. Who is this male? What is his name? You gave one, indirectly, for his father. But you didn’t for him. Personally, I would have given him a name too. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially my main ones. It makes them feel more real if they have a name. At least that’s what I think.


How They Spoke to Me: There was a lot of dialogue in this story. And What dialogue there was looked good to me.


Any Last Thoughts: I noticed that there was a lot of single sentence paragraphs in this story. And there is nothing wrong with that. I’m sure it’s not a grammar rule that says that you should. A lot of writers, if not most of them, write like you do. But I’m not one of them. There have to be at least two sentences in all of my paragraphs. It doesn’t matter if it’s dialogue or not as long as there are at least two of them.

I’m also curious about something else. I know that you have a Word Count limitations with this story. Is that why you ended it the way you did? The reason why I ask is because this story doesn’t seem to have an ending. At least it didn’t to me.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.



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398
398
Review of A nightmare  
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello horrorine,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Fiction story, A Nightmare, and I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in reading it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished. What I liked most about this story was that it kept me in suspense all the way through it.


The Story: This is a Mystery story about a doctor named Dr. Shrivastava who is having a bad dream. But it’s not just a bad dream. It’s a nightmare involving his clients. Exactly what kind of doctor he was is still unknown. But from what I read it read like some kind of a psychiatrist aka a shrink.


Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. I know in his dream it’s a clinic. But since it’s a dream is that the main location? If not then it’s where Dr. Shrivastava is having his nightmare. It’s probably his bedroom. But I’m not sure about that. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: Of course, Dr. Shrivastava is the main character in this story. And I like that you gave him a name – sort of. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. I think that it makes them feel more real if they have a name. but that’s just the way to I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There was only the one line of dialogue at the end of this story. In fact, it was the last line of this story. I have nothing wrong with there only being one line of dialogue in this story. But there is some Reviewer who still might. And there is at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing. Personally, I disagree with that. I think you can show with or without dialogue. It all depends on how you write your paragraphs.


Any Last Thoughts: I noticed that you didn’t capitalize dr shrivastava the first time you mentioned him. And only capitalized Dr after that. You also forgot the period after Dr. too. I’m not an expert when it comes to grammar. In fact, I’m one of the worst offenders. Up until recently when I started using grammarly. But capitalization and abbreviations weren't one of my grammar problems. For me, it was commas and tenses. I could be wrong about all this. But I don’t think that I am. You might want to check that out.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.



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399
399
Review of Demon Child  
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello jesspanne,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your third year too with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Fiction story, Demon Child, and I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in reading it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. But it was a little bit hard to read. Mostly because of the spacing. Personally, I would have spaced between paragraphs. I don’t think it’s a grammar rule that says that you should do that. In fact, I’m sure there isn’t. There are a lot of writers who write like you do. But I think that it makes a story easier to read if you did do it. At least it is for me.


The Story: This is a story about a little girl who thinks that she is a monster. Her age and name are unknown. So is the boy in this story. But he sounds a little, if not a lot, older than her. Maybe even an adult because he refers to her as a little girl. Why does she think she is a monster? How can she give someone hellish nightmares? The answer to those questions, probably more, are unknown too.


Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. I know it’s in a wooded area somewhere. But I’m not sure where that somewhere is. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself – sort of like this one. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.


Your Main Character: The little girl and the boy are the main characters in this story. What are their ages – especially the little girl? Personally, I would have given her an age. I usually don’t do it with the adults in my stories. But I do with children. A name would have been nice too. Personally, I would have given them a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially with the main ones. It makes them feel more real if they have a name. At least that’s what I think.


How They Spoke to Me: There was a lot of dialogue in this story. In fact, about half of it was dialogue. And I like that. I try to have all of my stories be half/half. If they aren’t then it’s usually dominated by dialogue. As for the dialogue in this story, it looked pretty good to me.


Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have separated these paragraphs with one space in between them. I don’t think that it’s a grammar rule that says that you should do it. In fact, I’m sure there isn’t. A lot of writers, if not most of them, write like you do. I just think that it’s easier to read if you do it. At least it is for me.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.



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400
400
Review of Homecoming  
Review by PureSciFi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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#1300305 by Maryann




Hello D-train,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your third year too with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Fiction story, Homecoming, and I liked it very, very much. It kept me in suspense from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. What I liked the most about this story was how it ended. Great job.


The Story: This is a Mystery story about a couple on their way home from a first date. It read like they had gone to a dance. But it was after the dance when they went to have a little fun that he discovered her big secret.


Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is the jeep that the couple is in. But where that jeep is at is unknown. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. Usually, it’s a little bit, if not a lot more than that.


Your Main Character: Of course, the couple is the main characters in this story. Their names are unknown. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. I think it makes them feel more real if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There is only one line of dialogue. But it is repeated three times. The last time it was extended a few words. As for the dialogue itself, it looked pretty good. At least it did to me.


Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have separated this one paragraph into two, maybe even three or four, paragraphs. I don’t think that it’s a grammar rule that says that you should do it. In fact, I’m sure it isn’t. A lot of writers, if not most of them, write like you do. That’s just the way that I like to write my stories.



I liked your story very, very much. Keep on writing.



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