PureSciFi's (spacefaction) Reviews

PureSciFi

Review Requests: ON

1,439 Public Reviews Given

1,439 Total Reviews Given

501

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4210840

Review of Friends: The One in the Future

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (2.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello P3charmed,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your third year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I did like it – story wise. But there was a lot of it I didn’t like either. For one thing, where is the Comedy in it. I know it’s an update for a Comedy series. But that doesn’t make this comedy though. At least I don’t think it does.

The Story: This is a story set in the near future with the friends of ‘Friends’ – the television series. I’m not exactly sure how far into the future it is because I didn’t like that show. I kind of remember the main cast, mostly from commercials, and that bar, or was it a restaurant, with the couch in it. But other than that I don’t know much about that show.

Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure. But I think the location for that show was New York City. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories – even the obvious ones like this one. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.

Your Main Character: The main cast of ‘Friends’ are the main characters in this story. But who they are now, and who they are with, are also a big part of this story. Normally, I would say that I am glad that you gave them names. Only in this case I can’t because they already had names. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name. I think it makes them feel more real if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I’m not going to comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing. I disagree with that though. Showing can be shown without dialogue. It’s just how you write it.

Any Last Thoughts: You might think that I didn’t like your story. But I did. Just because it’s fanfiction doesn’t mean it isn’t good – or bad. I read a story because I think I am going to like it. And usually I do – like this one. It’s not you, or this story, it’s me. I just never liked that series.

I liked your story. Keep on writing.

An image donated by [Link To User legerdemain] for use with Anniversary Reviews.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

502

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4210839

Review of Art Detour

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello BeHereBook,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your twelfth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. What I didn’t understand was where the Comedy is at. It doesn’t look like there is any in this story. Did I miss it?

The Story: This is a story about a couple names Janice and Gordon. What exactly they are doing is unknown. Then Darla came in and mentioned something about a tour.

Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story is taking place. I don’t think it was mentioned. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But it’s usually a little bit, if not a lot, more than just that.

Your Main Character: Janice and Gordon are the main characters in this story. But Darla is a big part of it too. I like that you gave them names. Personally, I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There was a lot of dialogue in this story. In fact, about half of it is dialogue. Personally, I try to make all my stories half and half. And a lot of them are like that - now. But quite a few aren’t. If they’re not, then most are mostly dialogue – especially now. As for the dialogue itself, it looked good. At least it did to me.

Any Last Thoughts: What is this story about? I’m still not sure about that. I did like this story. But I didn’t really understand it.

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

503

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4210838

Review of My Favorite Dumb Blond Joke

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello ShiShad,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your ninth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot – especially the answer to his question about the cucumbers. Very amusing. But this is a Comedy Short Story after all. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about a dumb blonde named Ellie. Who really is a dumb blonde. When her Farmer husband asked her to plant some cucumbers in some hills. Her response for not doing it was she couldn’t find any hills. Now that really is dumb – whether they are blonde or not.

Where Your Location Is: The farm that they lived on is the main location in this story. Actually, it the house on that farm. Where in that house is unknown. Personally, I try to have at least one vivid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself – sort of like this one. But usually it a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.

Your Main Character: Ellie is the main character in this story. But her Farmer husband is also a big part of it. Personally, I would have given him a name too. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There was a lot of dialogue in this story. In fact, at least half of it was dialogue. Which I try to do with all of my stories. It often doesn’t work out that way. And if it isn’t then it’s mostly dialogue - now. As for the dialogue in this story, it looked good. At least it did to me.

Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have combined the last two paragraphs together. I don’t like one sentence paragraphs. There has to be at least two per paragraph. But that’s just the way that I write my stories. I don’t think it’s a grammar rule that says you should. In fact, I’m sure there isn’t any.

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

** Image ID #1576301 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

504

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4210834

Review of Maudlin Movie Monster

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (3.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello IdaLin,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your ninth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot – especially the way it ended for Eve and Tracy. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about a couple of young females named Eve and Tracy. At least I think they were young the way they were acting. But I don’t think they were teens though. The two of them loved horror movies. And after they left one of those movies they had a brief scary encounter that ended very badly – for them.

Where Your Location Is: There are basically two locations in this story. The movie theatre they went to and the street they were on after the movie. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count is as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself – sort of like this one. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.

Your Main Character: Eve and Tracy are the two main characters. But they were the only ones. The one that they meet on the way home from that movie is also part of it too. In fact, I think they are the main, main character. I like that you gave the females names. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel, I think, more real if they have a name. But that’s just the way I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There’s not a lot of dialogue in this story. But there is quite a bit. And what dialogue there is looked good. At least it did to me.

Any Last Thoughts: I noticed that you have written several other Short Stories. A lot, if not most, are Science Fiction. If it’s okay with you, and I have the chance to do it, can I review some of your other stories.

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

** Image ID #1727519 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

505

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4210829

Review of Dessert

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (3.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Tiger Cub,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your second year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. What I don’t understand about is where was the Comedy?

The Story: This is the story about a female named Melanie. Who went to a dentist named Dr. Lane. Only she wasn’t there for her teeth. Actually in a way she was. Melanie was really there because Dr. Lane was a cute guy. And she loved cute guys. What she did to him was the real reason why she was there - desert.

Where Your Location Is: Dr. Lane’s dentist office is the main, and only, location for this story. At least I think it is. Personally, I try to have at least one vivid location for all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitation is as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself – sort of like this one. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.

Your Main Character: Melanie is the main character in this story. But Dr. Lane is also a big part of it. I like that you gave them names. Personally, I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There was a lot of dialogue in this story. And what dialogue there was looked good. At least it did to me.

Any Last Thoughts: I know Melanie joked a little bit while talking with Dr. Lane. Is that the Comedy in this story?

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

A new Anniversary Review signature to use, courtesy of [Link To User legerdemain]

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

506

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4210826

Review of Finicky Eater

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Mikey_Greybeard,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. But I am confused about it a little. Where is the comedy in this?

The Story: This is a story about a baby named Barry. Who has just eaten some applesauce for the first time. At least it reads like that’s what it’s about. Am I wrong about that?

Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. But it sounds like it in a kitchen somewhere. I think it is where they are at. Personally, I try to have at least one location in all of my stories. It depends on the word Count limitations as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.

Your Main Character: Most readers, and writers, would consider the parents of Barry to the main characters in this story. And in this story that may be true. But to me it doesn’t matter who the character is, or how old they are, it’s who in the story the longest that is the main character to me. I glad that you gave Barry a name. Personally, I would have given them all names. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write my story.

How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But there was some. And what dialogue there was looked good. At least it did to me.

Any Last Thoughts: I noticed that you have several other Short Stories – a lot of them, if not most, are Science Fiction. If I have the time to do it, I would like to review some of the too. The reason why I am asking this is because when I first started reviewing I reviewed someone a lot. Probably more than I should have. And they didn’t like it too much. So now I ask before I review someone more than once.

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

507

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4210825

Review of February

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR

| (3.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Deja Vu Again,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eleventh year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot – especially how you ended it. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about a snowman. Only that isn’t known until the end of the story. But that’s where the comedy of it comes in. At least I hope it’s a snowman. It sounds like it is one. If it isn’t then what is the real reason why he’s losing his head?

Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. But it reads like it happened in the back yard of a house. Personally, I tried to have at least one vivid location in all of my stories. It depends on the Word Count limitation as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it just the location itself. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.

Your Main Character: The snowman is the main character in this story. But the kids are also a big part of it. Personally, I would have given him a name. I understand why you didn’t do it. But I would have still found a way to give him a name. That’s because I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. but that’s just the way that I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There is no dialogue in this story. So I’m not going to comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who still might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing. Personally, I disagree with them. I think you can show a story without dialogue. It’s all in the way you write it.

Any Last Thoughts: I think that you did a good job with this story. Do you have any other stories like this one? If you do, and I have the time to do it, I would like to review some of them too.

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

Image #1900405 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

508

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4210823

Review of Life's been good to me so far

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Hyperiongate,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot – especially how it ended. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about a baby. Only we don’t know that it’s a baby until the end of it. That’s what makes this comedy short so good.

Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. But it sounds like it in a kitchen. Personally, I try to have at least one vivid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are, like this one, as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But it’s usually a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.

Your Main Character: The main character in this story is the baby. But his mother is also a big part of it. Personally, I would have given them names. I try to give all of my characters a name. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who still might. And at least one that would consider this telling instead of showing. What I am wondering about though is how a baby is telling this story. Is he thinking about all this?

Any Last Thoughts: I have noticed you have written a bunch of other Short Stories – a lot, if not most, are Science Fiction. And I was wondering, if I get the chance to do it, can I review them too. The reason why I ask is because when I started reviewing I review one member a lot. Probably way too much. And it didn’t go so good. So now I ask before I review someone more than once.

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

Image #1576301 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

509

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4205203

Review of Smile

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (2.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello ToffeeandTeal,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your third year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I’m a little confused about this story. I’m not even sure it is a story. Don’t get me wrong I did like your story. I just don’t understand it. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about smiling. One paragraph after another dealt with that expression. It’s the only thing that might connect this into a story. At least I think that’s what’s going on with this story. But I’m not sure about that.

Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. There doesn’t seem to be one. Personally, I try to have at least one specific location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.

Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main, and looks like the only, character in this story. I’m not even sure what gender they are. Personally, I would have given them a name. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It helps to establish gender for one thing. But mostly I do it because it makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name.

How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story – unless these paragraphs are considered thoughts. Which I do consider dialogue. If they are thoughts, then they either need to be in italics or they need single quotation marks. The preferred method at the moment seems to be using italics for thoughts.

Any Last Thoughts: I noticed that you started several of your sentences with the same word sentence after sentence. Personally, I don’t do that. There has to be at least two sentences before I us a word again. The same is true for paragraphs too. But that’s just me. That’s how I like to write my stories. I don’t think it’s a grammar rule that says that you should. In fact, I’m sure it isn’t.

I liked your story. Keep on writing.

** Image ID #2022804 Unavailable **

** Image ID #1576297 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

510

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4205201

Review of The Monster Inside

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Khalida,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your ninth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a whole lot. It kept me interested in it from being to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about someone, I’m not sure if they are male or female, who has a demon within them. A demon that eventually got out. How did it get in them? Where is it now? What kind of a demon is it? These questions, and more, still need to be answered.

Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. It’s not really mentioned in this story. Personally, I try to have at least one specific location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Somethings it’s just the location itself. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.

Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main character in it. But their parents are a close second. Personally, I would have given them all names. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way I like to write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But there was some. And what there was looked good. At least it did to me. Personally, I try to keep my stories half and half. Half dialogue and half what I call action. I try to do it. And most of the time I do it. But not all of them. There are some that look a lot like this one – if not worse.

Any Last Thoughts: I noticed you started one or more paragraphs with the word ‘And.’ And I didn’t think that was a grammar rule against it. But according to at least one Contest Judge it is.

I liked your story a whole lot. Keep on writing.

Image #1727519 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

511

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4205200

Review of Spaceship

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (2.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Alisha,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your third year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it. But I also had a lot of trouble reading it too. It did keep me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is the story about a boy who killed an alien only because they were an alien. And what happened to him because of that death. That death was in a long line of killings.

Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. I know it’s a village somewhere. But not where that village is at. Personally, I try to have at least one vivid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than just that.

Your Main Character: The boy is the main character in this story. Personally, I would have given this boy a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I like to write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There is no dialogue in this story. So I’m not going to comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who still might do it. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.

Any Last Thoughts: I think I noticed that you may have made a few mistakes in spelling or missing words. You might want to re-read this story. Personally, I would have separated the paragraphs by a space. I don’t think that it’s a grammar rule that says that you should do it. But I think a story is easier to read it if it is.

I liked your story. Keep on writing.

Image #1727524 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

512

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4205198

Review of Squiggley and Wiggley

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello LoralaiG,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your ninth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a whole lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This a story about a boy named George who gets trapped in a forest. Where he met a monster who needed his help to eat. Actually, the monster did eat exactly. It was more like he licked up what George threw up. What I don’t understand about this story is why was George trapped? Why couldn’t he just leave the forest?

Where Your Location Is: the main location in this story is the forest where the monster lived. But the last paragraph dealt with him telling his classmates what happened to him. Personally, I try to have at least one solid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself – sort of like this one. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than just that.

Your Main Character: George is of course the main character in this story. But the monster is a close second. I like that you gave George a name. Personally, I would have given the monster a name too. Probably a female one. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way I like to write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There isn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But there is some. And what dialogue there is it looked good. At least it did to me.

Any Last Thoughts: I think you might have missed a few words in this story. You might want to check that out. Personally, I would have separated the paragraphs by a space too. I don’t think that it’s a grammar rule that says that you should. But I think it easier to read if you do it. One more thing you might want to check out. And that’s your indent. It looks three or more times longer than it should. Personally, I only indent five space. I don’t think there is a grammar rule that says it should be like that. That’s just the way I like to write my stories.

I liked your story a whole lot. Keep on writing.

** Image ID #2022804 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

513

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4205195

Review of DFF Entry 3/20: Wish you were here

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello humblebe,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your sixth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about a male named Lloyd who is about the leave Earth for Pluto. Which is no longer a planet. At least I think that’s what this story is about. But I’m not sure about that.

Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where the location for this story takes place. It sounds like they might have been at a space port of some kind. But I’m not sure about that. I’m also not sure if that was the only location in this story. Personally, I try to have at least one vivid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitation as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.

Your Main Character: Lloyd is the main character in this story. But violet is right behind him. I like that you gave them names. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. but that’s just the way I like to write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But what dialogue there was looked good. At least it did to me.

Any Last Thoughts: I know that this is set in our future. It read like it was way into the future. How far into the future I’m not sure?

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

Image #1999316 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

514

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4205187

Review of Race Against the Tornado

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Seshaya,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your sixth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just got finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about a male alien rancher. Who after making sure his frightened animals were safe he headed for the safety of his shelter under his homestead to wait out a planet-wide storm with his wife and youngest child for several days.

Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is the ranch, or whatever it’s called on that planet, where the alien rancher lives. A little more detail about this place would have been nice. But I understand why you did it – if there was a Word Count limitation with this story. Personally, I like to have at least on vivid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitation are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself – sort of like this one is. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.

Your Main Character: Whoever the rancher is he’s the main character in this story. Pretty much the only one. The wife and his four kids are mentioned. But that’s the only thing they are – mentioned. Personally, I would have given him a name. Probably all of them. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way I like to write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I’m not going to comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who still might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.

Any Last Thoughts: I liked that you created an alien planet. A little bit more about them would have been nice though.

I liked your story very much. Keep on writing.

Image #1900405 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

515

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4204893

Review of Sunday Night Light Show

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Stephen Wylie,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your ninth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a whole lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about two males, Davis and Seb, who are about to have a close encounter of the weird kind. The weird part is that’s not them that are about to be abducted. It’s their truck.

Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. But from what I read it looks like it’s a back road in the middle of nowhere. Personally, I try to have at least one location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.

Your Main Character: Davis and Seb are both the main characters in this story. I like that you gave them names. Personally, I would have made one of them a female. But that’s the way that I write my stories – I always try to even things out when it comes to male and female characters. I also try to give all of my character’s a names – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name.

How They Spoke to Me: There was quite a bit of dialogue in this story. But there is a lot of non-dialogue too. I think you did a good job of balancing it out between the two types. As for the dialogue itself, it looked pretty good. At least it did to me.

Any Last Thoughts: I noticed that you categorized this story as a holiday genre story. But I didn’t see any holiday part of it. Did I miss that part?

I liked your story a whole lot. Keep on writing.

Image #1576301 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

516

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4204892

Review of In my mind

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Briteni,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your third year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about a male who is about to be, or has just been, convicted of being involved in a rebellion against time. At least that’s the way it reads to me. I’m just now sure if it’s a male or a female.

Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place – except it’s in a different universe. But from what I read it looks like it’s a prison of some kind. Only it’s not a normal prison. It’s more like a personal prison to me. Personally, I try to have at least one vivid location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations is as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.

Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main, and only, character in this story. Personally, I would have given them a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name.

How They Spoke to Me: There is no dialogue in this story. So I won’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.

Any Last Thoughts: I noticed that you started a sentence with the same word one after another. Personally, I don’t do that. To me, there has to be at least two other words that start a sentence, and paragraphs too, before I use the same word again. But that’s just me. That’s the way that I write my stories.

I liked your story very much. Keep on writing.

Image #1576297 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

517

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4204891

Review of The SuperPowered Ape

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (2.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello ContentWriter,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your tenth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your very short, Short Story. And I liked it. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is the story about an animal who comes out of a rainforest. At least I think that it’s an animal. It sure does read like it is.

Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is of course the rainforest. You could have go into a little bit more detail about it. But I can understand that – if you had a Word Count limitation problem with this story. Personally, I try to have at least one location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself – like this one. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.

Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main character in this story. But the animal is the real main character here. Personally, I would have given them a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t any dialogue in this story. So I won’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who still might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.

Any Last Thoughts: Was there a Word Count limitation for this story? Is this the beginning of something more – like a longer Short Story or a novel. The reason why I asked you that is because it looks like this story just ended.

I liked your story. Keep on writing.

** Image ID #2022804 Unavailable **

** Image ID #1727523 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

518

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4204882

Review of The Lights in the Basement

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello millhouse,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your tenth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about a weird family that recently moved into that neighborhood. A family that is so weird a neighbor had to check them out. Which was the biggest mistake they ever made.

Where Your Location Is: The main location for this story is the weird family’s house. True, the bedroom of the house across the street, and the neighborhood itself, are mentioned too. But that’s all they were – mentioned. The focus is on that weird house.

Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main character in it. But Victor and Elizabeth are a close second – or is it second and third. I like that you gave them names. But not that you didn’t give the snoop a name. I’m not even sure what the gender is of the nosy neighbor. Personally, I would have given them a name too. I try to do that with all my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: Except for the last paragraph, few sentences, there wasn’t any dialogue in this story. What dialogue there was looked good though. At least it did to me.

Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have separated the paragraphs with a space between them. I don’t think that it’s a grammar rule they you should do that. But I think it’s easier to read a story if you do.

I liked your story very much. Keep on writing.

Image #1998893 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

519

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4204881

Review of Nightmare and The Destroyer

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (3.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello grace washington,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your seventh year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading this Short Story. And I liked it a whole lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about a knight named Nightmare. At least I think he was a knight. The way he’s described it sure sound like he is one. It read like he was on some kind of a mission - or was it quest back in those days. But I’m not exactly sure about that. About halfway through it the story seemed to shift into another direction. They were both still connected. But it was hard to see that. Personally, I would have written it in two parts with a divider separating them.

Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure when this story takes place. But it reads like it’s back in the old days when knight, Kings, castles etc. took place. Personally, I try to have at least one specific location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But it’s usually a little bit, if not a lot, more than just that.

Your Main Character: Nightmare is the main character in this story. But The Destroyer is right behind him. I like that you gave them names. Personally, I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real if they have a name. But that’s just the way I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There was a lot of dialogue in this story. And what dialogue there was looked good. At least it did to me. True, at first I didn’t think there would be any dialogue. But then when it switched scenes it did.

Any Last Thoughts: Was this part of a Short Story competition? The reason why I asked you that is because this story just ends. There is no real ending to it. Was there a Word Count limitation in regards to this story?

I liked your story a whole lot. Keep on writing.

** Image ID #2022804 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

520

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4204878

Review of A Dragon Hunter's Morning

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

Hello Ledan,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your seventh year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I like it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about a male named Daniel. Who is a Dragon Hunter. I didn’t know that until almost the end of the story. But I liked that. It’s one of the reasons why I kept reading it. I wanted to know who Daniel really was.

Where Your Location Is: The location for this is either a house somewhere or an apartment. I’m not exactly sure where it is. Personally, I try to have at least one location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself – sort of like this one is. But usually it’s a little more, if not a lot more, than that.

Your Main Character: Daniel is the main, and only, character in this story. I’m glad that you gave him a name. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name. I think it makes them feel more real if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write.

How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t very much dialogue in this story. In fact, the only dialogue in this story is at the beginning of this story. What dialogue there was looked good. At least it did to me.

Any Last Thoughts: The only mistake that I think you might have made was when you wrote ‘king’ instead of ‘kind.’ You might want to look into that.

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

Image #1999317 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

521

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4195372

Review of Margot in the Park

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello James Simon,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your tenth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. At least what I could understand of it I did. But I was a little confused about most of it.

The Story: I’m not exactly sure what this story is about. I know it’s supposed to be a romance/love story. But I’m not even sure about that.

Where Your Location Is: Like the storyline above I’m not sure what the location is in this story. The New York Times Sunday Edition indicates that it’s taking place in New York. And it probably is. But it could be somewhere else. You can live almost, of not anywhere, anywhere and get the New York Times.

Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main character in it. Personally, I would have given them a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There isn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But there is a little. And what there was looked good. At least it did to me.

Any Last Thoughts: What is this story about. I have re-read this story two more times. And I’m still not sure what it is.

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

** Image ID #2022804 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

522

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4195370

Review of Rain

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello alexietrillisyst,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fourth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: I’m not exactly sure what this story is about. I know it’s about someone named Michael, Raphael and Alex. But what it’s all about I’m not sure. How they are involved with each other is a little confusing.

Where Your Location Is: Like the storyline above I’m not sure what the location is for this story. It doesn’t look like there is any. Personally, I try to have at least one location for all of my stories. How much detail I put into them depends on what the Word Count Limitation is. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.

Your Main Character: Michael, Raphael and Alex are the characters in this story. But I think Michael is the main one though. One of the reasons, maybe even the only one, I liked this story is because you gave them names. Personally, I try to do that with all of my characters – especially with the main ones. I think it makes them feel more real if they have a name.

How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But there was some. And what there was looked good. At least it did to me.

Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I wouldn’t have started one or more sentences with the same word. There has to be at least two other words starting a sentence before I re-use one. The same is true about paragraphs too. But that’s just the way I write my stories.

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

** Image ID #2022804 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

523

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4195369

Review of The Stacks

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Jeff,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your thirteen year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a whole lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it

The Story: This is a story about a couple named Rowan and Kyle. They were at a library. And she bragged him to a dark park of an upper floor to kiss him. But that’s all they did. Only that was all about to change.

Where Your Location Is: A library is the main location in this story. I’m not exactly where this library is at. But it read like it’s a college or university somewhere.

Your Main Character: Rowan and Kyle are the main characters in this story. One of the reasons, if not the only one, I liked this story is because you gave them names. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But there was some. And what there was looked good. At least it did to me.

Any Last Thoughts: I know how you feel about Word Count Limitations. I’m involved with several Contest too.

I liked your story a whole lot. Keep on writing.

** Image ID #2022804 Unavailable **

** Image ID #1576301 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

524

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4195367

Review of Anniversary Flowers

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Herb Kilstoye,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your first year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very, very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about a male named John Pierce. Who delivered flowers for a florist. He was also mentally challenged. But I’m not exactly sure what that has to do with the story. The story is really about John delivering some flowers to Candace from her dead husband of two weeks. He ordered them six months ago for their anniversary because he knew he would be deployed during that time.

Where Your Location Is: The location for this story takes place at Burleson’s bakery. At least most of it does.

Your Main Character: John and Candace are both the main characters of this story. But mostly Candace because it was her husband who sent John there with the flowers. One of the things I like best about this story is that you gave them names. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. I think it makes them feel more real if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There was a lot of dialogue in this story. About half of it was dialogue. And what dialogue there was looked good. At least it did to me.

Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have separated the non-note paragraphs with a Space – and two Spaces before and after the note. I don’t think that it is a grammar rule that you should do that. But I think it makes a story easier to read it is. That’s just the way I write my stories though.

I liked your story very, very much. Keep on writing.

** Image ID #2022804 Unavailable **

** Image ID #1576297 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

525

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4195365

Review of Love At First Sight

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello le0pardluver,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your tenth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about a girl who wants a boyfriend. At least I thinks it’s a girl. But it could be a boy. Whoever it is, a name would have solved that gender problem, is looking forward to their summer vacation.

Where Your Location Is: The school that they are about to get out of for the summer is the location for this story. A little bit more detail about this location would have been nice. But not necessary. Personally, I try to have a least one location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count Limitations are as to how much detail I put into them. Sometimes it’s just the location itself – sort of like this one. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.

Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main character in this story. Personally, I would have given them a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name.

How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But there was some. And what there was looked good. At least it did to me.

Any Last Thoughts: I noticed that you made a few mistakes with spelling and capitalization. You might want to re-read this story.

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

** Image ID #2022804 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .