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245 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of A Necessary Evil  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.0)
The subject matter of this story is enough to give me chills. The whole idea of a world without coffee is a pretty bleak one. Willard wanted a career in which he served customers in a relaxing atmosphere, a place where someone could come and relax. Ultimately things changed for the worse. Instead of coffee making being an art it became a commodity to produce without any pride in the final product.
I would have lined a description of Willard although somehow his name alone conjured up an image.
I really believe there would be a riot if all the coffee beans in the world rotted in the sacks, however no doubt another drug of choice would take its place.
Anyway if Wellard became a lawyer, he would have a more lucrative career.
Thanks for sharing this weirdness. I’ll have nightmares.
Cheers Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Night Thoughts  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a beautiful piece of poetry. It encompasses a life together, long lived with all the highs and lows. What’s left? Just the two of you. The ones that started out together on a journey. Now the journey is coming to its inevitable end, yet still you’re together. The same and yet different. Sharing the same bed, feeling the closeness that only comes with years of familiarity. Simply touching each other gives a sense of security. A feeling that we’re not alone throughout the darkness.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I loved it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Beholden I adore this piece. With your permission I am planning on printing it out to take with me to my weekly writing group. We have endless discussions on sentence structure, including length. I laughed out loud as I read your piece (poem) or whatever you’d like to call it. It proves one can write a sentence as long as one likes so long as it is punctuated correctly. I’m the first to admit my commas are sprinkled throughout my work without angst. Reading out loud is my way of judging where a comma should or ought to be. I love your way of writing most things actually and have been a ‘fan’ for a while. Thank you for sharing this piece, maybe you should put it out there again. The trouble with items once they have settled in to a portfolio they get lost in the ether unless one is inspired to seek out a piece. Usually it’s just luck when one falls over a gem like this.
Cheers Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
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Review of Time  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
The thing I really loved about this piece is the honesty. You have expressed, in such a unique way, the struggles throughout the life of whoever it is you are writing about. It may be yourself, I don’t know. It reminds me of my granddaughter’s difficult journey to find happiness. Unfortunately she’s not there yet, but where there is life there is hope.

The first verse was the most sad. I hate to think of any three year old experiencing mistrust and betrayal.
The fourth verse is heartbreaking although you didn’t spell it out it sounded to me like a cry for help from this fourteen year old, well I hope that’s all it was and not a genuine attempt.
At seventeen she decided to chase down those monsters and face them with a battle cry.
At last, in the ultimate verse, I could breathe, she found happiness, peace and love.

Thank you for sharing this beautiful, insightful piece. It was beautifully written.
Keep on writing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review of Name of Names  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Mastiff As a fellow member of I write 2020 I’m reviewing this piece ‘Name of Names.’
The story kept me interested from the beginning until the end. I’m telling you this because the walking dead and fan fiction is not something I would normally attempt to read. This story however may have changed my mind a little.
The main character is well described from the moment we meet him as a dependent youth escaping from an invasion along side his father. When he realises he is alone is when he begins to grow as a man.

The world in which the story is set is becoming more of a reality as we in 2020 begin to view our fellow human beings as maybe a source of disease and to be avoided. Of course this is nothing like that, as the Zombies or the Undead’s sole aim is to destroy any living human being they come across.
You kept the tension throughout the story which covers several years. The boy grows into a man who has to be forever vigilant.
The ending came as a little light relief when his rescuers renamed him Jesus because of his looks.

I did wonder if this story had been taken from a previously written story. You mentioned that the narrator’s foster father was advising the younger man what to pack for their great escape. What was the reason to make the character a foster father when afterwards you called him Dad and my father? He’d obviously been a big part of the boy’s life as it was he who’d taught him to fight and survive. I would drop the foster-father unless you want to explain what had happened to his real dad.

As more of a romantic I’m hoping that one of those female rescuers becomes his lifelong love? No? Okay wrong genre😩
Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed the read.
Cheers Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi, Jeff , thank you for writing such unsettling story, you managed to keep me awake all night.😱
I see this is an old story of yours but believe me it still packs a punch. The moment when the phone began ringing under the sheet of the body on the gurney made my heart leap. The fact it was her husband who had done the shooting was bad enough but when the last two bodies turned out to be her kids was pretty shocking. I read the story to my husband who always, without fail, guesses the twist in stories but even he said he hadn’t seen that coming. So well done on that score.
The only thing that made me doubt the scenario was Carmen working solo. Once she’d received the news of six bodies coming to the morgue all at once she would had needed to call in reinforcements. However that’s nit-picking and for her to be alone worked better for the shock factor.
The last line worked well too in a macabre way. Her family, who missed her so much when she worked such long hours joined her there. Did her husband guess it would be his wife who would have to face this scenario. If so this just adds to the horror.
To say I enjoyed it wouldn’t be true but I certainly will remember it and I guess that’s the true test of a well written story.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Words Whirling 'Round thanks for this lovely story and memory you have of time spent with your dad. You wrote of a time long ago when people accepted goods for services. This story reminds me so much of my husband. He’ll have a go at anything a typical Jack of all trades. The chainsaw incident made me laugh and I read your story out loud to my husband as he eventually had to admit defeat when he couldn’t get his chainsaw to start.
You described your father’s frustration perfectly and in a humorous fashion. As I read out all the steps you mentioned to get the thing started my husband nodded in agreement. He never ended up hitting it with a sledge hammer although I’m sure he must have felt like it. The colourful language was certainly part of the process. I heard it as I passed by the shed, silently.
In the end the chainsaw was put back together appearing as if this a great bargain for someone and dropped off at the local Men’s Shed where it was pounced upon by someone who declared “thanks mate, I can get this going, no problem!”
Thanks for sharing such a lovely story and giving us a smile.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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for entry "Picturesque
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi hullabaloo22 , this piece is written at a time when the earth has been able to take a breather. Mankind has been forced to hide away for a while, to stop the continuous abuse of our planet. This has given our rivers and air time to recover just a little. Unfortunately for the earth and the animals this won’t last and the air will once again be full of fumes from our cars, aircraft and factories.
I liked how you personified the lake in this story, you managed to perfectly convey its antagonism toward the perpetrators who had destroyed the health and beauty of this body of water.
The same thing is happening to our oceans. We are only recently being made aware of how much rubbish and plastic is in the water, killing our sea creatures. We, ourselves are consuming micro plastics into our bodies at a alarming rate which surely must have alarming effects on our health.
Picturesque was a great title for the piece for even if a river, lake or stretch of countryside can be called picturesque underneath the surface unseen damage can be taking place.
As you so aptly stated, the natural world can manage to keep its dirty secrets hidden until it one day it simply can’t any longer.
The tsunami of water, mud, diseases and pollution which engulfs the neighbourhood came as a surprise, nature had its revenge.
I enjoyed reading this, thank you for sharing.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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for entry "Summer
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Prosperous Snow
I read your poem ‘summer’ as part of I Write 2020. It’s apt I should happen to read this on the Summer Solstice day in the Northern hemisphere. Today we are experiencing the Winter Solstice of course here in Australia.
I actually prefer winter to summer and as I read your poem it brought back memories of the extremely hot summer we endured 2019/20. ‘The short night’s sweltering slumber’ made me compare to the good nights sleep I had last night to the many sleepless ones I have in the summer months. Although in your lovely words you mentioned the cooling rain which we were so short of. I saw the selection of words you had to choose from and the word Languorous jumped out at me. That’s such a lovely word and one which I would have had to use!
Thank you for sharing this poem. It’s lovely.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of What's in a Name?  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Odessa Molinari smiling thanks for sharing this flash fiction story. It actually made me smile. I remember the singer Engelbert Humperdinck from years ago. We lived in the UK then and my mother-in-law was a huge fan of his.
Years later when we lived in Australia, as did my husband’s mother, he toured the country. Mother was a very old lady by this time but she wanted to go and see him play live. We took her and she was very excited. When he eventually came out on the stage, she whispered “ Who’s that old man?” She’d forgotten he had aged too!
Thanks for giving me that memory. Of course he had taken that name from Engelbert Humperdinck the German composer. His real name was Arnold Dorsey I think.
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Review of Who Am I?  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Cat, Not Suki Thank you for introducing yourself in this unique manner. It says everything about your individuality. I loved your choice of words to describe yourself. You are, as you so eloquently explain, your own person, someone who needs more than the usual generic descriptions to paint a full picture of YOU.
As you said, you did it in style. Well done.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
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for entry "Lucky Charm
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello hullabaloo22

Thank you for sharing your story. "From Maniac To Melancholia
I hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First ImpressionsOh,I love these kind of stories. When nature gets its revenge.




*StarfishB*Plot
The story begins innocently enough as a rabbit’s foot causes consternation between friends. Kelly is the proud possessor of a lucky rabbits foot. Given to her by her Uncle to give her good fortune and to protect her from adversity. On a walk into the countryside Kelly becomes uneasy as she notices an unusual number of rabbits in her vicinity, they seem decidedly bold too. The scene is set in farmland, a place familiar to the main character. After a benign start the story takes on a creepy feeling as Kelly becomes more alarmed.



*StarfishB* Characters
The only character after the first few sentences is Kelly. Now, I’m presuming that Kelly is female but I may be mistaken.


*StarfishB*Climax
The climax is quite horrific as the rabbits begin to wreak havoc and herd Kelly into an oversized rabbit warren. As the earth begins to fall and trap her, she realises to her horror the rabbits are getting revenge for her possessing the foot of a rabbit and begin to gnaw off her feet. Then they leave her to suffocate in the collapsing tunnel from where she can’t escape.


*StarfishB*Suggestions
I have no suggestions to further this story. I may add that this could be expanded on and would be a worthy entry to the “Screams” Contest.





*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thank you for sharing this story. I will avoid any rabbits feet I may be offered in the future.




Reviewed by Sumojo



Frog in a Hanging Basket

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Gotta Hold On  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Angus
I couldn’t help but make a reply to your heartfelt post. I am so sorry your country is experiencing so much pain this year. I can’t help but agree with you that much of the blame can be placed at the door of your President. Viewed from afar I think what is happening is not surprising after years of mismanagement and divisiveness.
We saw all the events of which you speak shown on our news channels and this has caused a groundswell of protests here in our country too, as it has all over the world. I think it’s a backlash of the fear and lack of control the Coronavirus has caused. People have a desire to feel there is something they can do to take back control after being forced to go into isolation. Of course I feel bad about George Lloyd, it’s terrible, I just wonder if the people are protesting not only about the Black Lives Matters but about everything that has happened this year.
I too am scared for my grandchildren and wonder what sort of world we are leaving them. I’m pleased to be getting to the latter end of my life, the world is changing to a place I no longer recognise.
Thank you so much for writing from your heart. Let’s hope things take a turn for the better in the next year or so.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Rat  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello f.x.keenan

Thank you for sharing your story.
 Rat  (13+)
Not all rats have four legs....
#2222002 by f.x.keenan
I hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First ImpressionsFirst may I welcome you to WdC. I hope you find what you’re looking for here. If it’s support and helpful reviews then you’ve come to right place.
I enjoyed reading The Rat. For such a short story it packed a punch.



*StarfishB*Plot
The story involves a solitary character. He is an unofficial gravedigger. It seems as if he is the “go to” guy if you have a body of which to dispose and you want it to remain disposed of.



*StarfishB* Characters
Tommy Sheehan is the sole character. One would like to know his back story but could jump to the conclusion he’s led an “interesting “ life and not always on the right side of the law. He’d obviously done time in prison which had made him the man he was. He was proud of his ability to ensure his charge disappeared for good. I liked the idea of a manual for disposing of dead bodies, with the number one rule of always doing it alone. It certainly makes sense even though he had to do all the hard work by himself he was assured no one else knew where this rat was buried.



*StarfishB*Climax
He couldn’t over come his curiosity though and unwrapped the body to see who it was. It was someone he knew but felt his death was justified as he kicked him into the grave.




*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thank you for sharing this piece of flash fiction.




Reviewed by Sumojo



Frog in a Hanging Basket

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
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Review of One Day...maybe  
Review by Sumojo
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for your piece. I agree with everything you wrote and so eloquently. The media have much to answer for.
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello ruwth Thank you for sharing your poem in the I write 2020 Challenge.
I always enjoy reading your work and this piece is no exception. There is a world of truth in these words and it isn’t until one personally experiences some of these changes that happen throughout, our lives one can truly appreciate the truth.
I’ve experienced many of these changes and still have a few to go, but no doubt if I’m lucky then these too I’ll adjust in time.
Thanks again for sharing. I hope you did well in the Contest.
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for entry "Road Forks
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Jeff, I’m reviewing this as part of I write 2020 and also as a fellow contributor in the 30 day blogging challenge.
To leave your dream job in search of better pay and conditions was certainly an understandable one. You couldn’t see anything changing or improving in the near future. Your choice to go for a start up company was risky though and one that must have given you a few sleepless nights. Start ups are notoriously fragile, you obviously felt you had no choice as every day at Marvel was making you more frustrated. Therefore I think the choice was made for you, for your own mental and physical health the need to remove yourself from the stress was the best plan.
Ironically your previous employers realised your value to their company and you were invited back, this time at the pay you’d asked for previously.
It was probably worth the inevitable worry and concern you no doubt experienced to be asked to return.
My fork in the road was to decide whether to leave our country of birth. We had family, two thriving businesses and yet my husband wasn’t happy in England. So we took a huge leap of faith, sold up everything we owned and emigrated to Australia where we knew no one. That was 48 years ago and on reflection we made the right decision.
Check out Robert Waltz’s blog on the prompt. He has an interesting theory which I’m not sure I subscribe to. He seems to think we have no say in our decisions. They are made for us.
Anyway I really enjoyed reading about your dilemma and how it all turned out.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
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for entry "Cooking Submissive
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Jeff, I enjoyed reading about your culinary skills. Even the best of cooks have failures in the kitchen and it sounds as if you’re a good a cook as most of us. Seasoning usually refers simply to salt and pepper. Adding herbs must be called something else, these are always in the main body of the recipe. Salt is such a personal taste. I never add extra salt at the table whereas my daughter always adds salt to everything before even tasting and eating, which is a strange habit. I always give her the warning about high blood pressure and heart attacks and too much salt but to no avail.
What a lovely tradition to make a cake for someone every year. It’s amazing you only need to do something a couple of times and before you know it you’re locked into it.
It reminds me of buying an ornament of an elephant whilst travelling in a India and before I knew it everyone bought me elephants as presents, as apparently I COLLECT them!
The cakes you have made over the years all sound delicious but the fact you can remember them all impresses me the most.
I’ve made what seems like thousands of birthday in my life. The job always fell to me. That’s certainly not because I’m a master baker by any means. It’s just that no one else wanted the job and let’s face it children don’t care what it looks like so long it has candles and tastes good.
Thanks for sharing your kitchen experiences.
Cheers Sue
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Review of Getting Lucky  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Blimprider

Thank you for sharing your story. "Getting Lucky I hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
I was hooked from the first moment. Impelled to keep reading to discover what may happen to poor George. I wasn’t disappointed.



*StarfishB*Plot
This story is a tale of one man’s boring, disappointing and dissatisfying life. Until at last something unexpected occurs, making him feel both uncomfortable yet excited. A strange woman seems to be inexplicably drawn to him. As much as George tries to avoid her she seeks him out.



*StarfishB* Characters
The main character is George, one wants to preclude his name with Poor George. Nothing has ever gone right for him throughout his life and he is resigned to nothing changing. He is a non descriptive, boring man, yet underneath this demeanour he has long buried desires of which he himself is hardly aware.
The femme fatale, Angelique, is beautiful, charming and dangerous. She spins her web of seduction and Poor George has no chance of escape.



*StarfishB*Climax
The ending was surprisingly shocking and one felt for Poor George as he is enveloped in bat like wings and sucked dry.


*StarfishB*Parting Comments
There was much to enjoy about this story. It was strangely erotic although very subtly so.
One thing for sure is that George’s life trajectory certainly fulfilled the bumper sticker prophecy. ‘Life sucks and then you die’ You tied that in nicely. Well done.




Reviewed by Sumojo



Frog in a Hanging Basket

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Carly I’m reviewing your story "Conflict's Brewing as part of ‘I write 2020’ and also as a fellow classmate in ‘HSP’
I really liked the conflict between your two lovers that you have introduced this week. You certainly filled the brief of week three. How will they manage conflict? What are their different styles? Is their relationship strong enough?
It’s always builds tension when the reader knows the intentions of a character before the character who is most affected. These two, Ryan and Arlynn are both strong and interesting with distinctive personalities. I’m looking forward to reading more of their relationship as they move forward.
Cheers Sue
21
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Review of magpies  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Charlie Carrol I saw your request on “Please Review” and decided to check it out.

Thank you for sharing your story. "magpiesI hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
This really well written story took me to a place I wasn’t prepared for. I hadn’t before heard of the superstition of saluting the magpie to ward off bad luck. Maybe it’s just one pertaining to the Navy?



*StarfishB*Plot
The story is about a boy’s confusion after the death of his father and consequent despair of his mother. He tries to make sense of his new reality.
There are some really good lines such as: She moves her mouth. Maybe it was a smile in another life and ...its beady eyes boring a hole into my soul


*StarfishB* Characters
The child is the narrator of this story. We are privy to his thoughts and confusion. The mother seems to be stuck in her grief after the death of her husband and the boy’s father. We get the impression she is mentally unwell but really have no suspicion she may have had a hand in his death.



*StarfishB*Climax
The climax was actually shocking. The boy decides to face his fears of magpies and stumbles on the remains of his father. The reader is left feeling fearful for the child as he seeks an explanation. The last line gave me shivers.



*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thank you for requesting a review, I look forward to reading more of your writing. Thanks for sharing.





Reviewed by Sumojo



Frog in a Hanging Basket

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review of Room  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello Odessa Molinari smiling I am reviewing this story as part of I Write 2020.

Thank you for sharing your story. "RoomI hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
I liked the idea of the story. Someone alone in a room trying desperately to defuse an explosive devise.



*StarfishB*Plot
The name of this person is undisclosed to the reader. The circumstances as to how he/she found themselves in the predicament weren’t described but the story comprises of them trying to save their lives in a limited time to defuse the bomb. The ending wasn’t what they’d set out to achieve unfortunately.


*StarfishB* Characters
There is just the one character beside a muffled would be assistant. As I mentioned previously this character is difficult if not impossible to describe.



*StarfishB*Climax
The whole aim of the story is to lead the reader on the journey toward the climax with the counting down of the seconds remaining before the inevitable explosion.


*StarfishB*Suggestions
I liked the concept of the story. This could have successfully been expanded. I needed to know more. Who was the would be bomb defuser? How much damage would the explosion cause? The main character was no expert by any means so why didn’t the guy from bomb disposal enter the room and do the job?
In the first paragraph you wrote:I entered the room with my gun drawn. The next sentence starts: It was empty.. This made me at first thing that the gun was empty. the room was empty reads better.



*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thank you for sharing the story, I hope you did well in the Screams contest.





Reviewed by Sumojo



Frog in a Hanging Basket

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
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Review of What I Am  
Review by Sumojo
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for sharing this piece of yours. I liked it very much. Did you write as a rap song?

Well done, you have a great insight into yourself, inside and out.

Cheers Sue
24
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Review of Farewell Pauline  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello nicole

Thank you for sharing your story. "Farewell PaulineI hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
A gentle story, beautifully written with a hint of humour which lightens the subject matter. The fourth paragraph was witty and caused a smile on this readers dial😀



*StarfishB*Plot
The story is about a friendship which ends too soon when Pauline the title character dies suddenly



*StarfishB* Characters
The narrator tells the story beautifully, but in a raw fashion. I read the story through a couple of times and found I wasn’t able to form a picture of the narrator. Male or female? I guess a male but their friendship seemed more of a female to female one. One gets the feeling that ‘The Duke’ public house is a character in its own right, if only it could tell about the history and the people who have walked it’s ancient boards. Geoff was well characterised, his size and gentleness along with a melancholy from losing his partner.



*StarfishB*Climax
This story doesn’t really have an ending, which is as it should be. It’s about a time in the narrator’s life causing him to stop, pause a while to consider life before getting on with it.


*StarfishB*Suggestions So, eventually they moved in together and big Geoff converted her to darts, and she joined the team. And I couldn’t begin to imagine what pain he must be going through now. I suggest after the team, and ... The spelling of god damn, should be one word goddamn.




*StarfishB*Parting Comments
I loved this story, the setting seemed familiar to me having lived in the UK around working men’s pubs and clubs. You mentioned Irish Sea, so maybe this is set in Ireland? Thanks for sharing.




Reviewed by Sumojo



Frog in a Hanging Basket

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
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Review of Fate Tempted  
Review by Sumojo
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Drake

Thank you for sharing your story. "Fate Tempted I hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
I was tempted to read this story by the title, Fate Tempted! Having read the story I thought the title was a good choice.




*StarfishB*Plot
The story is set in a time after a war. What appears to be a victory on the surface has not apparently pleased the Warlord.
What can it be that has displeased him so much? He was faced by a vision in the mirror of love. An image of the Elven Princess is displayed which tells the Warlord he is fated to be enthralled by her. Being the type of character he is, he doesn’t want anyone or anything dictating his future.
He believes that accepting fate is a weakness and being the control freak he is destroys the mirror.
His underling Killian is horrified at his actions but is told when given a choice between fate or chaos always choice the latter.




*StarfishB* Characters
The Warlord is depicted and described well. We know his size and strength when he carelessly throws the dagger and yet it impales in the wall.
Killian is the person who tries to diffuse the situation. We are not given much of a description and what sex Killian is. I thought she was a young girl.




*StarfishB*Climax
The story wraps up with the Warlord getting back his control. He is not one to wait and see what the fates have in store but prefers Chaos. He can cause the chaos by deciding what action will be taken to restore order even if in the process his people may be inconvenienced





*StarfishB*Parting Comments
This story could be relevant in the crisis the world is facing today. In trying to make sense out of the disruptions the Coronavirus is causing we first need chaos. People are inconvenienced, travel disruptions, food shortages and gatherings denied. We are not accepting fate but fighting back by instigating chaos.
I loved this little story. You painted a good scene with few words. Well done.




Reviewed by Sumojo



Frog in a Hanging Basket

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