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for entry "Memorable Places" 
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Jeff, thank you for an interesting blog entry,

I’m reading and reviewing this as next in line in I write in 24.

Each place you mentioned was different and unique in the memories they each hold for you.

The house at the lake was special for you because it was where you spent much of your formative years and of course because of your grandparents. I can imagine the mixed feelings you must have experienced when you saw the alterations the next owners had done to the place, and at the same time destroying the image you held dear.

The beach was where your wedding took place. Obviously that day was firmly entrenched and to have successfully replicated the table setting and the atmosphere of the previous year was nothing less than astonishing. It showed your true romanticism.

The Railway station in France brought memories of my own to the fore. When we landed in Vietnam as a couple who spoke none of the language and finding few of the population spoke any english, we as you must have done , realised how foreigners must feel when they arrive in the USA or Australia.

The children’s court house held mixed emotions for you and your wife. A place where I’m sure held your lowest to the highest of emotions. Of course I’m happy for you that the final decision at the court made your family official. You must be the best of parents.

Of course the last venue is a place we all relate to as somewhere where magic happens. We all I’m sure imagine that each day at work for you is magic but we all know each job has its downside as yours probably has. But I may be actually wrong and every day of your life at work is amazing. Maybe just don’t burst my bubble😂

Overall a really interesting blog entry. Thank you for sharing.
Sue.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Long Walk  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Genipher, thank you so much for a great read. I smiled through the whole story. It read so true. I can imagine the naivety of a child your age. I gasped when you wrote it had taken about thirty minutes to drive to the strawberry fields. As it was a country road your dad was probably travelling at about 100 kilometres an hour and when you thought it would only take you an hour or so for the return journey I thought “Oh no!”
You described the day wonderfully and I was on the road in the heat of the day with those two little girls wishing with all my heart that all would end well.
You fulfilled the requirements of the prompt with the bolded words but I’m sure it’s some tale you have related many times or at least you remember when you recollect your childhood with your sister. I wonder, did she ever forgive you?
I honestly laughed out loud as I read it.
I was frustrated by the lady who was suspicious of two tired, hot, obviously distressed children though. What on earth did she think was so risky by inviting you inside out of the hot sun. I was pleased you had the sense not to accept the lift offered by the truck driver,your parents had obviously warned you about stranger danger.
A great yarn, well told.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
3
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, Kare, what a delightful trio of stories about the trials of life in the compost heap..

The first Drabble, ‘After the Thaw’ introduced the reader to the renewal phase, a time when the youngster made their appearance. The names are delightful. It was a time of bounty, of reproduction and happiness

The second Drabble was set in a time of great danger. The creatures needed conditions to be perfect to create a home. Summer was the enemy and try as they may they simply couldn’t stand the heat in the kitchen.
But danger lurked as they slithered out of the heap to seek welcome shade and moisture. Only the lucky made it and we were left to mourne those less fortunate.

The third and final story told of the coming ice age. Aggy and Maggie mourned their lost friends and family members but knew they must survive whatever was thrown at them, whether it be flooding or icicles forming on their compost heap. They were nearing the end of their reserves when the compost builder remembered them and gave them shelter. It seemed they would survive to live another day and relate their many hardships to the next generation.

Who would have thought so much life, drama, and danger could possibly occur under a decaying heap of food scraps, grass cuttings and leaves.

Thanks again, Kare, for giving me a light read before bedtime.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
4
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Review of Saul Corn  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello, I’m returning the favour and I’ve just checked on your ‘Trabble.’

I really thought all three stories stood on their own. Each told a story of a part of Saul’s life.

Your stories are each from an historical perspective I know little to nothing about, but have similarities, especially the final one, with the aboriginal stories of the settlement of Australia.

The Europeans declared Australia uninhabited even though the indigenous peoples had lived there for thousands of years. They took their land, their people as slaves and the children away from their mothers too.

A great entry for week eight.
Thanks for sharing your three Drabbles. A good read.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
5
5
Review of INXS X  
for entry "Suicide Blonde" 
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, I’m reviewing this story as next in line at I Write in 24.
Well I must start with saying I really enjoyed the second last paragraph, it made me give a laugh out loud with satisfaction.

The first couple of paragraphs set the scene for an upcoming mystery which promised to unfold if the reader chose to continue.

The club Tango, a place of ill repute, busy at the time of day when most people are at work, having a sandwich at their desks. But the protagonist in this story was intent on fulfilling his secret desire.

This philanderer had obviously had many sexual exploits outside of marriage and was intrigued to discover which one of his dalliances had sent him the invitation for a little afternoon delight.

The rest of the paragraphs are detailing the sexual strip tease and dance. I have to say all her moves were described in detail and each move raised his excitement to a level which was almost palpable as the story progressed.

The expose at the end when his wife proves to be the exotic dancer was priceless.

It was obviously written after reading the lyrics to the song, Suicide Blonde. It wasn’t a song with which I was familiar but your story and the song went well together.

Thanks for sharing both the story and the lyrics. It’s a fun read.

Sue.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, Kare, I just read your entry in the Bard’s Hall Contest. As usual I’m in awe of your ability to look at yourself and your life and be able to write critically, honestly. and impationately.
I never understood that song really. “I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me.”
Your blog has made me understand it a little more.

I’ve always said life would be perfect if we could just write other people’s scripts. What I mean by that is if every conversation or argument or apology went the way we wished it could, then maybe that would be paradise.
What made me think of that was your lines: A fantasy we created about people and places. As we like them to be

Life is, or can be for most people, pretty tough. I loved this paragraph:
However, stumbling around in life like a rough stone in a tumbler lead to pieces of me breaking off. Some of those pieces I still mourn. But what's left?

That’s such a great analogy. I’m sure most of us feel that way but don’t have the words to express it. We begin our lives whole, but by the time we’ve almost finished our turn, we’re damaged, often in body but also in soul. We inevitably lose trust and that’s a hard one. But it’s a lesson we all must learn to survive this new world of scammers; those who want to steal our money or our hearts.

But, Kare, we might be missing a few bits which we started our life with but we also gain things. We gain friendships, the ones that are few but precious. We inevitably gain wisdom, not all of us use that wisdom but we have learned so much about life and how it works. Yes, we become cynical, but also see the good in people. And we know ourselves completely and can list our traits, both good and bad, as you did so well.

I enjoyed reading this entry and perhaps now I’m a little nearer to be being me.
Thanks for sharing your beautiful, personal, expose.
Sue.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Kare, because it’s your anniversary this month I invited myself into your portfolio, I hope you don’t mind. I’m always intrigued by your writing style anyway, it’s always different to anyone else’s work I’ve ever read.

Take this contest prompt: write a letter to yourself asking your future plans for the year. The format you used, questioning and then answering yourself was cleverly done. It was sad but at the same time humorous. Maybe it wasn’t intentionally meant to bring even a ghost of a smile but I find life ridiculous at times and I appreciated the irony.

We have little option but to keep putting on foot in front of the other or as you point out the only other choice is number one.

The second rule is the one i liked best:

2. Plan.

Make a plan for the next two years.
What are my options?
Make a plan A, a plan B and be happy; don't worry.
I worry all the time.
See #1 and save yourself some trouble.

It’s a little harsh but it’s true enough. I know it’s hard when your tired, depressed or just can’t see the point of life, but believe me it’s just as hard being that other voice, the one that attempts to lift up, encourage or suggest strategies for life’s improvement.

I like your other voice, the one that doesn’t pull punches.

As always this letter to yourself made me think about your life, my own life and the life of someone I spend many hours a week trying to lift out of a hole.

I never enter the Dear Me contest because most of them and no doubt my own would be bland. But bland is never an adjective I could ever put on any of your work, whether it’s a blog, prose, or poetry.

If I’d have been a judge you would have won first prize, Kare.

Take care, thank you for sharing you personal missive to yourself. I do hope your alter ego’s voice spurred you on to avoid choice number one at all costs.
Sue.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
8
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Review of Grief  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, welcome to WdC, a place where you can share your stories and receive honest feedback if you ask for it.

I found your story on Read and Review and read it through twice. It’s a story told from the heart, beautifully written.

It’s a story of family, not just any family but of your own, unique and special group of people. It’s spans many years, with memories which have been captured in your mind.

Memories are like wisps of fog sometimes and when we try to make them solid, to capture them, turn them into words on a page they may not be exactly as they happened but they are your truth.

Your much loved brother, Andy, held a special place for you and your siblings. He was brave and courageous in so many ways, but fallible and also very sick.

Mental illness affects so many and the effect on those around the mentally ill person can be profound. I can say this as someone who has been dealing with a close family member with the illness for many years.

Your love for Andy shines through in your writing and you’ve been able to see beyond his accusations of actions that never happened and words which were never said.

You have written a fitting story of his and your life. Of a childhood, not perfect, but filled with love.

This is my favourite paragraph: But there, just out of the corner of his eye, when he glanced at me, with a devilish grin on his face would be Andy. Standing completely confident in himself, astride the highest point of Faulkner’s bridge, looking every inch the Coen boy, frozen at least for my lifetime as a memory of who he was.

This memory jumps off the page. I can see him standing on that bridge.

There are a couple of words which may or may not be incorrect.
crochet was a contact sport Did you mean croquet?

We all huddled around a huge trussell table, giving thanks for our food.. Did you mean trestle table?

I couldn’t see any grammatical errors, although there may be some but I was so caught up in the story of Andy and your family I could have missed them.

The one thing I’ll take away from reading the story was your undying love and the lines: Because he never lost the ability to see past his illness. He never forgot how to love.

Thank you so much for sharing. I felt honoured to read and review it.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of 'I hear no news'  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi, Kare, I see that June 2005 is your anniversary. Congratulations on nearly 20 years at WdC.

I read the list you posted on Newsfeed today. It includes some of the many poems you wrote in 2005. Some had over 200 comments! I should imagine receiving that many comments these days would be remarkable by any standard; I’ve never had anywhere near so many personally and would be delighted to have such a reach.

You asked for thoughts on the least read or commented on poems and this one, Epistle to a Friend, caught my eye.

I can’t honestly say I completely understood the words, other than to say it felt a little like reading Shakespeare. I have a better understanding of the bard now but at school I felt out of my depth.

I read and reread the beautiful words in an attempt to grasp the full meaning, something I could take from the poem which pertained to my own life.

A line which called to me was If ignorance be bliss, then this be heaven! This line I can relate to. So many times my conscience has nudged me to call or write to find out the latest news, (drama) and yet I’ve put it off, delayed the inevitable, just for a little while longer.

I know I shouldn’t ask to be drip fed, to have your words explained, so I’ll just revel in their eloquence.
Sue.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of First year  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Kare, as a great grandmother I’ve witness so many firsts. Yet the magic still remains. I’m still brought to tears when I hold another newborn. That strong grip from tiny fingers as they hold on as if their very existence depends upon it. They are so perfect. Perfect features, fingers, toes and skin. It’s more than magic this miracle of birth, this natural urge to get from the floor onto tiny feet, no matter how many painful bumps and trips. To walk upright, balancing precariously, parental hands at the ready to catch.
Thank you for your beautifully written words which have reminded me of all those moments.
Next week we welcome our sixth great grandchild and once again I’ll breathe in that scent of innocence, of newness, of a future still to be written.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Night and Day  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, Ned, I found this story which you wrote some years ago in the Read and Review forum.

It was a great little story of two people destined by fate to collide for just a few moments, and with what I might add was with an explosive result.

It kept me guessing the whole time as to what would happen when Annabelle and Erasmus eventually met. I certainly didn’t guess the ending.

Poor Erasmus- I love the character’s name by the way- his heart was full of darkness and hatred. Annabelle on the other hand was the opposite, she could only see love and passion. Her longing and desires almost melted Erasmus’s cold dark heart.

But alas too late. Annabelle never got the chance to show Erasmus the love she had to share, to change him, to make him a better version of himself.

{When you wrote Annabelle hurried to chase her airborne scarf before it blew into the heavy morning traffic. She didn’t make it.
My first thought she’d been run over and killed. Was this your intention?
If it wasn’t perhaps you’d consider adding she didn’t make it in time before the scarf blew out of her reach.

Erasmus was a troubled man as are all those who hate the world so much they seek to destroy. Perhaps it would have taken more than the love of Annabelle to change him. But we’ll never know. Thank you for sharing.
Sue.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, it’s a coincidence I get to review this sweet story of childhood innocence and pure joy as the next in line for I Write in 24. The reason being the weather here in Perth Western Australia has been so windy today and I said to my husband that it was good kite flying weather.

Kite flying is something I’ve not had the pleasure of doing for many years. Although we have children of kite flying ages in the family, sadly it’s not something that excites them.

When I was young we used to make our own. Finding two suitable sticks, covering them with paper and fashioning a tail with bows.

Thank you so much for writing this story and taking me back to happy times. It was probably written for the Daily Flash Fiction contest. You certainly fulfilled the requirements with the word count and the three word prompts.

Your description of flying a kite was very visual, the way a kite can nose dive suddenly and how the mother chased it as it taunted and teased, just out of reach. I could visualise it clearly.

You wrote: She pulled the pink band out of her hair and wrapped it around her wrist. You could have continued with this sentence, if you weren’t restricted by the word count, and explained how she tied the string to the hairband before securing it around her wrist.

Thank you for sharing a memory of kite flying with your children and sparking memories of my own.
Sue.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Ayla, I can’t tell you how interested I was to read your views of being alone. I’ve always craved at least a little time alone each day, and when I was constantly surrounded by children with no ‘me’ time I felt very stressed much of the time.

You wrote: In the presence of others, we're never entirely ourselves. I so agree with that sentence, but have wondered many times in the past if others even think about or ponder on that philosophical question. Do they realise they wear different masks? Do they ask the question you pose: "What is the mask, and what is me?"

Even to one’s partner, lover, or lifelong friend can we be really and truly oneself?

Have you found you use different personas depending on the situation?
I definitely use what my kids used to call my telephone voice to call businesses, the doctor etc., but when speaking to a friend I’m often the person who is upbeat, often to my own detriment.

I’ve never lived alone in all my almost eighty years of life, except for eight months when my husband worked away. During that time I actually lived (survived) on Subways such was my delight in not having to cook for anyone else. So was that when I was the real me?

At least we have our internal thoughts no one can access. Perhaps that’s where our true self lies.

In the television show, Alone, it’s not usually the hardships which eventually break the contestants, it’s being completely alone. Human beings are not meant to be alone. Perhaps we need others to truly be able to know ourselves, to differentiate ourselves from others.

Your piece was definitely thought provoking and I thank you for sharing your thoughts.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, Intuey, I found this story on the Read and Review forum.

Your title, ‘The Voice on the Back of the Wind,’ intrigued me enough to carry on reading. Your choice of text was different too, but it suited the tone of voice of the character who is relating the story. It was as if she had decided to reveal what had happened using an old typewriter.

I loved the narrator’s voice and the accent. It was as if she was telling a secret she’d been keeping for a long time and something, perhaps the voices on the back of the wind, were encouraging her to warn others to not stop listening at their peril.

There was only one line which I thought sounded as if it could have been written differently Dug a hole as deep as we were able to, over four days long. We dug and dug and dug. Maybe think of starting the sentence with Over four days long we dug a hole as deep as we were able to…

The story kept me on edge the whole time. I was sure even though they made sure ‘daddy,’ was truly dead, he was going to crawl right back out of that deep hole.

Thank you for sharing a tale of nature’s healing powers as well as her darker side.

Sue.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
15
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Review of viking funeral  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi, Charlie, I found this prose/poetry in the Please Review site.

You described the piece as a stream of consciousness and I could feel your pain.

The words were obviously written on the page quickly without much thought, as if writing them thus would transfer your hurt onto the paper.

The first line I knew it would hurt to yank the knife out but I didn’t know I’d miss it there. describes that angst perfectly.

You continue in that same vein, you speak of flesh missing even when it’s something as simple as having a body piercing. It’s a good analogy, a physical assault on your body being the same as the assault you feel to your soul, your heart.

All the way through the piece you find other ways of describing the hole you have in your body as if it is an actual injury. It’s quite confrontational to read your words. It’s as if you’re describing an actual fight or bloody battle with your lost lover.

I hope by being able to express your pain, anger and betrayal in this format you can find an acceptance of your new reality.

I can’t say I enjoyed reading about the end of your relationship but I surmised it wasn’t written for the enjoyment of others or even for yourself. Hopefully it was cathartic and you can start the healing which will inevitably occur.
I didn’t get the meaning of the title until the end and realised it was fitting.
Good luck in the future. Keep on writing.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Letting go  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, Kare, thank you for sharing this beautiful prose. I read it several times, each time it resonated more.
I loved all the separate pieces and yet it was the second, ‘letting go of sadness,’ which brought me to tears. this letting go, this grieving, your hand slipping out of mine, your heart beating out of time, stopped forever. Is this my greatest sadness? These lines tugged at my heart and also the usually dormant fear of losing the person I’ve known intimately for over sixty years. It’s inevitably scares me.
The prose-poem begins in an upbeat manner, not obsessing about the could'ves, would'ves, should'ves, just letting go of balloons to pursue their dreams while walking through these dappled days of reality, feet to the ground, embracing small miracles along the way.
The words lifted me, made me want to go outside and release a balloon and watch it climb heavenward.
Your ways with words, Kare, is a wonderful talent. Within an instant you can change a reader’s mood. It’s a powerful attribute.
Thank you for lifting me up and making me cry with your words.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
17
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Review of The Visitor  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Jacky, I came across this story in Read and Review. I’ve read many of your stories before on Daily Flash Fiction Contest where I know you’re a regular contributor. This story reminded me of an Agatha Christy mystery, perhaps the thief will be revealed when the whole cast are together at breakfast!
The first paragraph was full of tension and led me to believe it was going to be scary, but it turned out to be the opposite .
It seems as if there was much nocturnal wanderings in Aunt Harriet’s boring old house on the night this story is set. Uncle Albert was searching for some hidden jewellery. I wonder how he knew which room to look in. Or maybe it was Aunt Harriet’s room and she was asleep in the bed throughout.
The reason for the narrator being in that bedroom wasn’t made clear, I thought it have been their room and they were in the bed. But they were hiding in a corner and why didn’t Uncle Albert discover the jewels if the watcher found them easily after he left?
I realise that this was probably one of your 300 word flash fiction stories and it’s difficult to include details in any detail owing to the word limit but the story left me with unanswered questions.
Anyway it was just a lighthearted tale and I enjoyed visualising the comings and goings in the middle of the night in an old mansion.
Thank you for sharing.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I’m reviewing your eight line poem as next in line for I Write In 24.
I can understand your sentiments. How frustrating is it when they leave a season hanging on a cliff edge, promising there’s more to come only to discover, to one’s disbelief, there is to be no more?
I’m sorry to admit I’ve never heard of the programme, Shadow and Bone, but you made it sound very exciting. I’ll check it out to see if it was streamed in Australia.
The last four lines perfectly expressed your disappointment:
A bloody coup left us distressed.
A friend in jail, one possessed.
But follow ups were not to be...
We failed to get season three.
The poem had both rhythm and rhyme, the words flowed. It was as if you were telling me personally how upset you were. I’m really sorry the producers let you down.
I love the eight line format and enter Express it in Eight myself occasionally, but often visit to read the different entries.
Thank you so much for giving me a smile, although of course I felt your pain. 😩
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
19
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Review of Teensy Tiny Tales  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, there, I was reading through some of the other Drabble stories and stopped by to read your entry. It was written for the third week of Steven’s Drabble activity I believe, which was a dialogue between two people. I love reading dialogue which sounds natural when read out loud, as much as I like the challenge of using only 100 words exactly.
You succeeded on both counts.
As I read it I had a thought. You could have used it as an entry to the horror week as well; that Lucy, was a bit of a worry! What had she done to that poor little bird? Creepy. Poor Tweety.
Well there’s not much to say about a 100 word story, but that it was entertaining and it made me smile and feel uneasy all at the same time!
Well done.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
20
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Review of Breathing ...  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, Sophy, I found your poem on the Read and Review site.
I don’t usually review poetry, but in this case how could I not at least comment?
I notice the poem was written over twenty years ago and yet it probably seems like yesterday to you. One never gets over or forgets times like those when you wait with a dying loved one.
Breathing. This title says it all. It’s basic, it’s what we all do without thinking twenty four hours a day. Yet when you sit and breathe in unison with a person whose breaths are finite and each one may well be their last it’s as if nothing else could possibly be of any importance. And there is nothing more pressing you could be doing other than to hold the hand of your loved one until the end.
My father’s death was so long ago and yet will stay in my memory forever.
there is no dignity to be found
in this dying business -
for you
for any of us -
 Those word are the truest ever written, and it should not be so. Why should we be made to endure a drawn out death? There are no awards for suffering.
Thank you, Sophy for sharing such a private experience. I felt honoured to be allowed to read it.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
21
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Review of Life  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, I saw this “short epic,” a bit of an oxymoron, I thought to myself and just had to take a look. I was pleased I did because it’s a beautifully written look at the mystery which is life.

Your first short paragraph starts off on such a positive note. It made me want to keep reading. I knew then this piece wasn’t going to be at all negative. In it you said you knew life was beautiful. And it is. We the ones who are here on the planet in this moment are the fortunate ones who won in the lottery of life.

Paragraphs four and five both start with the words ‘life hurts,’ so I think you could incorporate them both in the same paragraph.

Each paragraph from then on stands on its own. I liked each one on its own merit.

This is a good an answer or explanation as I’ve ever heard to that age old question, ‘What is the meaning of life?’

I would have liked a little larger text and that’s the only criticism I could come up with. I loved reading this from the first word to the last.
Well done.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
22
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Review of Choco Muffins  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I’m reviewing this little story as next in line at I Write in 24.
As I read this tale of mayhem in the kitchen I could see everything in my mind. It was as if I was watching a movie. All the while pleading with Zak, ’what ever you do don’t leave the appliance in that child’s reach.’
The whole scenario seemed so familiar although it’s been a while since I attempted to bake with a small child.
You described the inevitable in detail, from the moment that little hand insisted on being on the control switch to the inevitable finale. It’s actually amazing how far cake batter can fly given enough speed and propulsion! The mess would have taken half a day to clean up and probably Zak and Mona would have been finding dried up cake mixture for weeks! Thankfully my worst fear wasn’t realised. I was sure Kaia was going to get her fingers caught in the mixer blade.
The prompt was to include the following statement into a short story, ‘Who is going to clean this up?’ You certainly fulfilled the prompt in a fun story.
Thank you for sharing.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
23
23
Review of To live abroad  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, writer Let me one of the first to welcome you to WdC. I hope by joining this writing community it will also help you in your transition from your home country. I’m presuming you come from France as your Bio is written in French. Unfortunately I don’t speak or read your beautiful language.
I can understand how difficult it can be to assimilate when in a new country. I too left my home when I was 28 years old to emigrate to Australia from England. It isn’t easy, especially when you’re from a small town where you were born and faces are familiar.
I’m sure you’ll soon settle in and make friends. You’re with a group of ready made friends here in the writing community.

You say you’re foreigners, but remember everyone came from somewhere else in America and the same goes for Australia. Only the indigenous people were there hundreds of years ago.
I dislike the word foreigner although I did experience feeling as if I was one when visiting Vietnam. There were no road signs in English, no menus with an English translation in many of the cafes and restaurants.
You have the confidence and exuberance that comes with being young.
Have fun.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
24
24
Review of Bread  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi, Genipher, thank you for taking me back to a time long ago when Jack and the Beanstalk was my son’s favourite bedtime story.
I thought if I never heard it again it would be too soon, but I really enjoyed your version. It looks as if Jack has truly met his match at long last.
I can imagine reading this to a wee child, scaring them half to death and then telling them to “sleep tight.”
I loved the Gaelic words in italics especially Meirlach! although I don’t know what if meant except that Tadgh, was none too pleased!
Great twist on an oldie but a goody.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
25
25
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, Jeff, I discovered your story on the, “I write in 24,” forum.
My word, this is one clever and, if might say so, very amusing story.
Your imaginary artefacts were all so inventive. The Monocle of Mortality though, sounded as if it wouldn’t be something many people would be seeking, and I thought it very brave of the narrator to use it to get a glimpse into his own demise. I agree with his conclusion that a quick death, even a violent one, would be preferable to a slow lingering one being bored to death by a Vegan Elf, being tied down as he explains the benefits of a Vegan diet, and the end of the world as we know it if the Vegan cult isn’t taken up by the carnivorous hordes. I quite liked the look of The Ingots of Invincibility myself. They sound as if they’d be quite useful.
Thank you for giving me a smile tonight as I searched for a little light reading.
I didn’t spot any grammatical errors or mistakes, but even if there were any I probably wouldn’t have noticed as I romped through your mystical time and place.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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