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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tammiemachelle/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/6
Review Requests: OFF
1,008 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of New  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, I am returning the favor of your review with a review. Thank you so much for visiting my port and I intend to do the same justice to yours.*Smile*

I love how you personified the poem or writing itself. I have seen this subject written about many times, but not quite this way. I love how you made the poet appear to be inventing something, breathing life into (which we do); but the way you wrote about it was different and imaginative. I thought your poem was really well done. The imagery, rhythm, rhyme, word choices, and format were all written well.

It is very hard to choose a favorite line or stanza. I thought each one was written beautifully, very poetic. If I have to choose, I would choose the first and last stanza's. The first because it opens your poem beautifully. It sets the tone for the rest of the poem The last one because it closes your poem with a lasting note; kind of like the smell of perfume or cologne when someone has left the room. Really nicely done.

I found nothing in your poem that I thought needed correcting. There is nothing that I can think of to add to it to enhance what you have already written.

This concludes my review. I really enjoyed your poem. I hope that my review was helpful and encouraging. Thanks again for stopping by my port. I appreciate it. Write on! Taryn
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
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127
Review of Smart Woman  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi...I found your poem on the random read....and I have to say that you are pretty smart to figure it out. Lol...most men haven't yet. I liked your poem. Obviously I thought it was insightful, funny, imaginative and original. I found nothing that I thought needed correcting. I really like this poem, I thought you did a great job. Thank you so much for sharing. I enjoyed the read. Write on! Taryn
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
128
128
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Well...as always you write something that I like..*Smile* This piece is one of my favorites because it brings a little more insight into who you are...just like the last one I read of yours "What I Miss the Most" is what I believe it's called. This is also something that I relate to, as you know. Lonely individuals going out into the world hoping to make some kind of connection to someone, no matter how small; only to return home that much more lonely...sad really. For me personally, I find myself going out...wanting a connection, but when given the chance, I shy away from it; hoping no one notices me..or that I don't catch someone's eye. Rather strange...that I am in a tug of war with myself in this way. I felt that your narrator found himself in the same boat that I always find myself in. I think you did a good job with this piece. It's real...it's relate-able, and it provided insight into you and me. I enjoyed reading it.
Taryn
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129
Review of Love of Mine  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi, I found your poem on the newbie page and I thought I would give it a read. I think your poem has great bones. I like the premise of your poem, I like the basic wordage, and rhyme structures are pretty good...but the format needs a little editing.
The first and major thing I noticed is that there are too many comma's where there should be periods. The way it stands, your lines appear to be incomplete or run-ons. What I would do would be to either omit punctuation all together...or break each line down to singular sentences, punctuate them and then put them back into the poem. I found it difficult to follow the rhythm of this piece just because I wasn't always sure when one thought ended and another began.
The second thing is I would choose a definitive format. The first stanza doesn't capitalize the first letter of every line, but the other two stanza's do. Editing is a vital part of writing, it never goes away. For me editing this poem will polish it up and make it a much easier read for your audience. As I said earlier, this poem has great bones but could be so much more. Editing will also help your readers concentrate on the emotional aspect of your piece rather than the mistakes.
Over all I really enjoyed your poem, if you do choose to edit, I would love to read it again. Thank you so much for sharing. Welcome to the WDC...write on! Taryn
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
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130
Review of My Plague  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi again, I also came across this poem through the random read. I like this piece. It speaks of something that every writer at some point and time has dealt with. I thought the imagery, rhythm, rhyme and word choices were all good. I thought that you did a good job of describing what a writer goes through when they experience writer's block. I saw nothing that I thought needed changing and I have no suggestions that would make this poem better. Thank you for sharing. Taryn
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
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131
Review of People  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, I came across your poem through the random read. I thought your poem was very good. In a few short lines, you have said what many people think now that they are grown. Too bad we do not think to say thank you when we are young. *Smile* I loved the rhyme scheme and your word choices...but I do think that in the fifth line, you meant to write passed instead of past..but I could be wrong here. Either way, I thought the poem was great and I am glad to have read it. Thanks for sharing, Taryn
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
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132
Review of Read the Real Me  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, I came across your poem through the random read...and while I read it, I felt like I was seeing myself. I also suffer from depression. Writing is like my therapy, sometimes it helps...sometimes it doesn't. Like most of us, writing is not only the window to our souls and hearts..but it is also a manual of sorts. It allows others to see and understand what we do not say, it allows them to decode the mysteries that make us who we are. I thought your poem described this beautifully. I am glad I came across it. Thank you for sharing it. Taryn
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
133
133
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi...I saw your poem on the Request a Review page so I thought I would give it a read.
I really liked your poem. I smiled all the way through it. It has all the elements I love in poetry. Easy rhythm, fantastic imagery, and a comedic story to tell. I loved how you used "country dialect" (for lack of a better description) to lend a little realism to your poem. I thought that was a great touch. I really thought this was written well. I smiled all the way through it. Obviously with my rating, I saw nothing that needed correcting. I think it's great.
Thank you so much for sharing and for allowing me the pleasure of reading your work. It was a fun read. This concludes my review. Write on! Taryn
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
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134
134
Review of Alone  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi, I saw your poem on the Read a Newbie Page and I thought I would check it out. Please remember that my review is to help and encourage, so please take it in the spirit it is given.*Smile*

I like the overall premise of your poem. The depth of emotion is felt by your reader and the imagery is written well. The only true issues I had with your piece were the meter and format. For poetry these two go hand in hand. The format will set the pace for the meter, thereby making it easier for the reader to get the meaning of your poem that you are trying to get across. In your piece...I could find the meter, but I think there is a better way to format it so that the flow is more obvious and easier to maintain. I also felt that the poem ended a little awkwardly...it appears unfinished, but that could be just my perception.For example, I would write it this way:
Through the sands of time I walk
Alone
The sun burns my skin and I seek the waters edge so sadly
Alone
I lay in the gentle waves trying to cool my fitful thoughts
Alone
Letting my thought of you drift out to sea...I float
Alone
Releasing your memory of love so sweet...I cry
Alone
Salty tears and water carry me away...I die
Alone
As the sun sets


As you can see, I omitted some of the comma's. The reason for this is because you aren't writing in complete sentences and you aren't using punctuation. I also put the word "Alone" on a separate line as to place importance on the word, especially since it is being repeated through out the poem and it helps with the meter. Now if I have read your poem wrong, and this changes the flow that you are trying to achieve, then of course leave it as is. This is just my opinion.

This concludes my review. Thank you so much for sharing. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging. Write on! Taryn
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Review of ~By The Sea~  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi..I saw your poem on the read a newbie page and I thought I would check it out.

I liked your poem. The rhythm and rhymes were clear and unforced. There weren't any grammatical errors that I could see. I thought the imagery was written well and the emotions you emitted are felt by your reader. I did feel however, that there were some elements that were not needed. I don't feel like the semicolons in the second stanza fourth line and the same in the last stanza last line, are unnecessary. This of course is just my opinion, seen with my one good eye..*Smile*
Overall..I thought your poem was really good. I saw no major errors and as I have already stated, very easy to read. Thank you so much for sharing. I enjoyed reading. Write on! Taryn
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Review of Malice  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, I saw your poem on the request reviews page and I thought I would check it out. The first feeling I had after reading this poem was sadness, and not particularly for the author but for the flower. I had the feeling that she missed out on something great. It seemed that deep inside she knows that, but doesn't feel worthy of it or feel that she can keep it. Reading this poem, I could see a story play out...how she stuck around because she knew it was good, and wanted to stay but couldn't because she felt that she just didn't belong. Now of course, I could be way off, maybe I am putting and introspective spin on it, but that was my feeling. I felt that maybe malice wasn't quite the right word. As women we tend to lash out and say things as a way to protect ourselves, and really not just women but people in general.

"When she looked at me I thought about a few times she said something about hating my alarm clock and the size of my bed. But she slept there every night for months."

This verse clues me into the fact that she was conflicted within herself. It seems that she looked for excuses, but knew that they sounded shallow...even to herself. I also got the impression that she stuck around because she knew you appreciated her. She saw the onlookers with the unappreciative and pity in their eyes, but with you; she saw no such thing.
I'm sorry that it seems that I got a little philosophical with your review, but I tend to run with the feelings I feel when I read something. I loved your poem. The imagery and emotion are written well. The only thing I would reevaluate would be the title. As I said, I felt many emotions while reading this piece, but malice was not one of them. This concludes my review. Thank you so much for sharing. I really enjoyed reading it. Write on! Taryn
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
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137
137
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi..I saw your request on the request page so I thought I would check it out. I love the idea that you have with this piece. I thought it was very creative and it seemed challenging. I thought you really did a fantastic job. You stayed true to the rhythm and rhyme scheme of limericks, the subject matter is relate-able and tells a complete story. I thought it was really good. I didn't see anything that I thought needed improving.
This concludes my review. Thank you for sharing, I really enjoyed it. Write on! Taryn
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
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138
Review of Amber Friend  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Kathleen, I thought it would be neat if I finished out your Solar Packagethat I gifted you in May for the Pampering Auction. I hope you have enjoyed the reviews and that all is well with you*Smile*

I love this poem. It is full of all the elements I like to read in poetry...imagery, rhyme, emotion, symbolism, and meter that is easy to follow. You truly are an artist..as your port can attest. This is a beautifully written piece that I am sure that your friend enjoyed and related to, obviously I found nothing that needed correcting to make this poem better. It is fantastic as it is, thank you so much for sharing. I wish you continued success here on the WDC. Write on! Taryn
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139
139
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Well...first let me address your email...
I'm glad I'm on your mind too..but how would I know that?..*Wink* I've been ok...just got back from vacationing in Phoenix...can you say hot...sizzling...cooking me in hot grease...? That was how hot it was ...104-105 degrees..DAMN..lol...and we decided to hike in that s***...what were we stupid?! We all know that black people don't like the heat...lol...I had a good time...last night was my first night back at work...yuck!

Now about your article...
I thought it was cute..6% really?! It isn't hard to believe it's just that when you put it in that kind of perspective it sets you back a little..lol. I laughed out loud, but I do have a couple of suggestions...1. I think you should mention religion...yes I know it is a touchy subject but my rebuttal would be that yes the bible says it is wrong, but God also gave us free will...so who are we to say that we know better than God to impose our will on others...regardless of how we personally feel about it? 2. We have so many children in foster care...do we really care who does the raising as long as they are doing it well? I really cracked up when I read the appendix...and then almost fell out when you referenced your porn preferences...lol...you are so funny...I like the way you took a touchy subject and made light of it and made a prominent point at the same time...nice job as usual my dear...
glad to see you writing again my friend...I missed you.
T
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140
Review of Harvest Moon  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I saw your poem on the newest static items page and I thought I would check it out.
I thought your poem had fantastic imagery, I liked your word choice, and even the rhyme scheme (until the last stanza). Your poem put me in an exact time and place and I was able to feel everything there...the chill in the air...I see the brilliant light from the moon..fantastic imagery.I thought your poem was well written.*Smile*
The only area that I saw that needed improvement was the last stanza...you do a fantastic job of keeping the format and rhyme scheme in order until the last stanza. The last stanza has more lines and doesn't have the same rhyme scheme as the other stanza's. It threw the rhythm off at the end. Those are the only issues that I saw with your poem. Otherwise I thought it was great!
This concludes my review. Thank you for sharing your work, I hope my review was helpful and encouraging. I wish you continued success here on the WDC. Write on! Taryn
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
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141
141
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I saw your poem on the new static page so I thought I would check it out.
I thought your poem was really well written. I like repetitive lines in a poem as long as it makes sense and it does in your piece. I thought the rhythm was easy to grasp and went well with the subject of your poem. I loved your word choice and the imagery was great. This poem was really a nice read. Well done.
There is nothing that I can suggest that would make this poem better. I hope my review was encouraging. I really enjoyed reading your poem. Thanks so much for sharing. I wish you continued success here on the WDC. Write on! Taryn
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
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142
142
Review of My Hunger Awaits  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I saw your poem on the new static page so I thought I would check it out. My first thought was WOW...The imagery is fantastic. The feeling you start with carries through the entire poem. The flow of your piece lends itself to the sinister aura you have created and the rhyme scheme is natural and unforced. Really a fantastic job. I love vampire lore, and your poem fits right in with the rest of it. I cannot say more about your piece other than I saw no errors that I thought needed correcting.
I hope my review was encouraging, and I hope you continue to sink your teeth into many more adventures here on the WDC. Write on! Taryn
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
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143
Review of FINAL GOODBYE  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi Daisy...I saw your poem on the new static page and I thought I would give it a read.
I thought your poem adequately described how the thoughts someone may feel when they are down, and because of this I thought your poem was one that anyone could relate to.
I did see a few errors that I thought needed improving. The number one issue was the inconsistency in capitalization. Some lines begin with a capital letter, some do not, some have a word capitalized in the middle of a sentence, and some sentences do not have any words capitalized. I would edit this poem and make sure that each line is consistent with the others. To have any kind of error is distracting, and the last thing you want is your reader to be distracted from what you want them to get out of your piece. The second error I saw was in the third stanza last line. It should read am too pissed.
This concludes my review. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging. Good luck with your writing. Write on! Taryn
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
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144
Review of Since You Left  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I saw your poem on the plug page so I thought I would check it out.
I thought your poem was brilliant. I loved it. It has the nice easy flow of a Saturday morning...The imagery is very effective, and the feelings you hint at are felt by the reader. Really nice job...your poem brought the smile to my lips that you hinted at in your poem.
Thank you for sharing your work. I wish you continued success here on the WDC. Write on ! Taryn
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
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145
145
Rated: E | (4.5)
POETRY REVIEWS BY TARYN

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Thank you for your request for a review to help fund my membership. I hope that you find my review helpful and sufficient. Remember that my reviews are to help and encourage so please accept my review in the spirit that it is given.


What I liked about your poem: Imagery is strong and paints a very soothing picture of allowing music to take over the mind and stimulate it in a way that only music can. I thought that the premise of your poem was original and I thought that your piece was well thought out and ended pleasantly.

*Poseyp**Poseyr**Poseyv**Poseyp**Poseyr**Poseyv**Poseyp**Poseyr**Poseyv*
What I think needs improving: I think that for this poem, I would do away with the punctuation, leave the beginning of the first letter of every line capitalized, and see if I could get the meter a little more concise. I think this piece is a little wordy, and I think it would add to the richness of your poem to let your reader read more into your piece. Allow the pictures you paint do the work...instead of your words. For example I used one of your stanza's to show what I mean.
But most of all she missed...
The feel of cold ivory beneath her fingers
The musical lines that ring out above the silence
The touch and sound of hammer against string
The thundering bass and
The singing melodies of the soprano
While she dreamed
Of long ago times
And faraway places

This of course is just a suggestion, but I found that the meter was a little off and I suspect that it was just because of some extra words.

*Butterflyr**Butterflyv**Butterflyb**Butterflyr**Butterflyv**Butterflyb**Butterflyr**Butterflyv**Butterflyb*

My favorite part: My favorite part is the first stanza, I played an instrument for over six years a long time ago, and this stanza took me right back there within a few lines. Nice memories and a nice way to be reminded. *Smile*

*Flowert**Flowerb**Flowerp**Flowert**Flowerb**Flowerp**Flowert**Flowerb*
My rating:4*Star*


Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work. I hope my review is helpful and encouraging. Thanks again for requesting reviews.Write on!
Taryn



146
146
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
POETRY REVIEWS BY TARYN

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Thank you for your request for a review to help fund my membership. I hope that you find my review helpful and sufficient. Remember that my reviews are to help and encourage so please accept my review in the spirit that it is given.


What I liked about your poem: Your poem is rich in imagery, and plays light on the tongue. Meaning that the imagery you paint is easy for me to imagine and the meter and flow of your poem is natural and easy to follow. I thought your poem was well written and a joy to read. Very well done *Smile*

*Poseyp**Poseyr**Poseyv**Poseyp**Poseyr**Poseyv**Poseyp**Poseyr**Poseyv*
What I think needs improving: There is very little that I think needs improving with this piece and obviously I am not the only one because this poem already has a ribbon. *Smile* However, what I did think needed changing was that every line begins with a capital letter, even though you are writing complete sentences. The general rule for poetry is that there are no rules. But I find that for me, the basic rules of writing always apply. If you want to capitalize the first letter of every line, I would suggest NOT using punctuation. If you would want to use punctuation (which for this poem I would), I would only capitalize the beginning of every sentence or thought. It would add a visually softer appearance to your piece and grammatically makes more sense. I would also add an a in the fourth stanza fourth line after but.

*Butterflyr**Butterflyv**Butterflyb**Butterflyr**Butterflyv**Butterflyb**Butterflyr**Butterflyv**Butterflyb*

My favorite part: Hmmmm....decisions, decisions..*Smile*

Oh come, my bella luna -
For you only do I moan,
Though the beauty you seduce me with
Is but reflection of my own.

This is my favorite part because it leaves much more to be discussed. Nice job.

*Flowert**Flowerb**Flowerp**Flowert**Flowerb**Flowerp**Flowert**Flowerb*
My rating:4*Star**Halfstar*


Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work. It really was a joy to read. I hope my review is helpful and encouraging. I wish you continued success here on the WDC. Thanks again for requesting a review. *Smile*Write on!
Taryn



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147
Review of Broken  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Confettib**Confettip*This is a Power Reviewer’s Anniversary Review!*Confettir**Confettiy*
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*Balloong**Balloonr*Happy Anniversary!*Balloonp**Balloony*
*Candleb*Congratulations on another year with the WDC!*Candlev*
For your anniversary I have decided to review
*Cakeb*
 Broken  (ASR)
A double etheree poem about being hurt by someone you love. An experiment with the form.
#1843759 by elizjohn
*Cakep*
because it has no reviews.
As you know, this review is meant to help and encourage; so please receive it in the spirit that it is given. This review is only my opinion, and you can choose to take my advice or not. It is your work and your work should reflect you.
My rating:4 *Star*
What I like about your piece: I like that you attempted a double Etheree poem. I like the subject matter and the imagery you paint.
*Gifto**Gift**Giftp**Giftr**Giftb**Giftv**Gifty**Giftw*
What I think needs improvement: Since punctuation is inconsistent and you've also chosen to capitalize the beginning letter of every sentence; I think that your poem would be better served without punctuation. I found the rhythm to be a little rough, but I believe it was because of this issue.
*Gifto**Gift**Giftp**Giftr**Giftb**Giftv**Gifty**Giftw*
My favorite part: The fact that it is a double Etheree poem. These kind of poems are always visually stimulating. *Smile*

I hope my review was helpful and encouraging. Thank you for the privaledge of reading and reviewing your work.Again, congratulations on another year here on the WDC.
Your fellow Power Reviewer Group Member
Taryn Sloane

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Review of The Dancing King  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi! I saw your request for reviews on the Review me page and I thought I would give it a read.

I thought this poem was the cutest thing! The imagery you paint is funny, cute, and original. The very idea of an avocado and a mango taking tango lessons is very imaginative. I thought the rhythm and rhyme of your piece was natural. It has all the elements that I like to read about in poetry... atmosphere, comedy, and romance. *Smile* Your poem is a very easy read.


I didn't see anything that needed improving. I thought your poem was well written.


Choosing my favorite part is not an easy choice. I thought each stanza was great, they led expertly into each other. I really enjoyed your poem.


Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work. I really enjoyed your piece. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging. Happy writing! Taryn
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149
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
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*Fire* Hello ! Here's another review from the "Invalid ItemEnjoy!
I picked this poem from your port of new items because I too have had an experience at the gym, and I wanted to know if your experience was anything like mine. I found out quickly our that experiences are similar. I have since gotten much better, but my first time going was nothing pretty!

What I liked about your poem was that almost everyone can relate to it. We have all been there or are still there. I'm not sure what makes the gym so intimidating, but I think you're poem covers it all. I think the imagery is also written well. There is no doubting the feelings that you had with this experience.

I don't see anything that needs improving, so I can't suggest anything that would enhance your poem.

This concludes my power shop review. I thank you for giving me the pleasure of reviewing your work. Thank you so much for sharing and for all the work you do here at the WDC. Write on! Taryn
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Review of Water to Drink  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, I saw your poem on the Read a Newbie Page and I thought I would give it a read. I liked your poem. I thought it had definitive rhythm and rhyme. I thought the premise behind your poem was original, and I thought it was fun to read.
There was nothing that I think you could change to enhance your poem. I think it is well written and original. Thank you for sharing it and thank you for the pleasure of reading your work. Welcome to the WDC...write on!
Taryn

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