*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Creative fun in
the palm of your hand.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tammiemachelle/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3
Review Requests: OFF
1,008 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 2 -3- 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 ... Next
51
51
Review of Confused But OK  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello! I found your poem on the Plug Page and I thought that I would check it out. I hope my review finds you in wonderful health and inspired spirits. My review is intended to be helpful and encouraging. If my review offends you in anyway...please do not hesitate to contact me and let me know. It is not the purpose of my review to offend you. Please accept it in the spirit it is given.*Smile*

After reading your poem...I thought...how many times have I been in this situation (or one like it) or felt this way? Many times. Break ups are so hard to deal with unless you were able to have closure. And from the looks of things...the speaker does not appear to have closure...but is working their way there. Closure has so much power. It is amazing how different life can look once the open ends of our lives have found an end. I thought your poem did a good job of expressing the confusion, the hurt and the pain that is felt by not having closure. Without closure, it is almost as if you have to convince yourself that what you are experiencing is real and not a dream..at least it was that way for me. I feel that your poem is easy to relate to... anyone can understand what the speaker is going through.

There is nothing that I think needs a second look without completely rewriting your poem..and I don't think it is necessary. It is obvious that your poem is a free form, but I will say that the mix matched rhyme scheme and meter is hard to grasp sometimes because the stanzas are different. It makes the flow of reading this piece a little rough. This of course is just my humble opinion.

This concludes my review. Thank you so much for allowing me the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging. I wish you continued success with your work and with your writing. Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn

Oh and if would be so kind as to take a look at "Invalid Item and please cheer for
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** .The "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Groupwould appreciate your support!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
52
52
Review of Hold me  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello! I found your poem on the Plug Page and I thought I would check it out. I hope my review finds you in great health and in inspired spirits. My review is intended to be helpful and encouraging. Please accept it in the spirit it is given. If I offend you in any way...please let me know..or if you need my review explained more in depth...please do not hesitate to contact me. It is not my intention to offend you.*Smile*

What I liked about your poem was the feeling of desperation and hurt. Even though this poem is not loaded with descriptions and adjectives...the tone of this piece is well carried out. I thought your poem was easy to relate to; I dare say, that anyone reading this poem can say that they have been in this place before. We are human..no matter how introverted we are...or how much we claim to like being alone, being held and loved is a basic need that is not taught.

What I thought needed a second look is a combination of several things. First thing I noticed is the use of commas...there are way too many. And to be honest none of them are really needed except for the ones in line eleven. I say this because you really are not writing in complete sentences. I also think that if you center this poem...the flow would be so much better, not to mention that I think the depth of feeling would be better portrayed. A few exclamation marks are fine...but I think there is an overabundance of them here. In the eighth line...
i should be I. I do believe this is just a typo. Centering the poem is just my personal opinion..especially because the length is so short and because it isn't written in complete sentences, but the other items I listed are grammatical.

This concludes my review. Thank you so much for the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging. I wish you continued success in life and with your writing. Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn

Please check out "Red Wedding updating and cheer for
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** . We would appreciate your support!
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
53
53
Review of No Storm Warning  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello! A while ago, you reviewed a poem from my port and I now that I am done recuperating I thought that I would come to your port and return the favor. I hope this review finds you in great health and spirits. My review is intended to be helpful and encouraging, but truthful. I hope you accept it in the spirit it is given.*Smile*

I loved this poem. The imagery was wonderfully vivid. I could feel the wind, the rain, and the electricity in the air that storms bring. I completely understood and could relate to the emotional storm you spoke of. Sometimes in life, we don't realize how one particular event shapes us. I do feel that to protect ourselves, we sometimes downplay an incident or we don't admit the pain. I thought your poem did a very good job of relating these facts. I fully believe that people or the drama they bring can be a major storm in our lives. Sometimes we aren't even able to assess the damage until the winds and the rain have gone. I thought your poem was very heartfelt, polished and a joy to read.

I didn't see anything in your poem that I thought needed a second look.

This concludes my review. Thank you so much for the pleasure of reading your work and for reviewing mine. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging. I wish you continued success with your writing and in life. Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
54
54
Review of Somewhere  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! A while back, you reviewed some of my work, so after some recuperating, I am back to try and return the favor. My review is intended to be helpful and encouraging...but truthful. I hope you accept it in the spirit it is given. *Smile*

I liked this poem a lot. From the first line, you drew me into the dark world you created. The words you chose to create this world made me feel and see tormented fragments that were once whole. Although this poem speaks of monsters of one kind or another...for me this poem is speaking of anyone who feels dejected or is paying a horrible price for something they have done, or even some one who is living a life of pretense or without care. This poem can be seen in different ways. I love that it is not one dimensional. I thought that this poem was extremely well written. It is easy to follow, the rhyme scheme is very natural, and the imagery is very vivid. I think this poem is very polished and captivating.

I didn't see anything that I thought needed a second look.

This concludes my review. I hope that my review was helpful and encouraging. Thank you so much for allowing me this pleasure. I am so sorry it has taken me this long to return the favor of your review, but I am glad I did. I wish you continued success with your writing and in life. Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
55
55
Review of The Roman Road  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi! You honored me with a review and I am here to return the favor. I hope this review finds you in good spirits and in great health. My review is intended to be helpful and encouraging. I hope you accept it in the spirit it is given.

I really had a hard time choosing something in your port to review. It looks like you have so many great items and I am horrible at making decisions. However, I settled on this because I am familiar with the book of Romans and from what I can remember, I am pretty sure I have never read a poem about this book before. So I thought now would be a good time to do so. I liked this poem a lot. Your poem took right to a place that was familiar to me and I could see it play out clearly with your poem. I thought your poem was easy to follow and the rhythm was easy to maintain. I thought your poem was well written and a joy to read.

I didn't see anything major in or about your poem that I thought needed a second look. However, I will say..just as my personal preference, that I usually follow the normal rules of writing a sentence if I am going to use punctuation in poetry. Such as only capitalizing the beginning of a new thought..and not necessarily every line. I also noticed that the punctuation was missing in the first paragraph. But honestly, I think that your poem would be better served by NOT using any punctuation and capitalizing every line. I say this because for the most part, you are not writing complete sentences. Again, this is just my lowly opinion. Overall I thought your poem was great and reminded me of a story that I had not thought of in a while.

This concludes my review. Thanks again for taking the time out to read and review my poem, and for the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work as well. Maybe I can come back sometime and read more.*Smile*I wish you continued success in writing and in life. Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
56
56
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Helena! I came across your poem through the random read and I thought I would give it a review. I believe that this is the first time that I have read and reviewed your work so thank you for the pleasure. Please understand that my review is intended to be helpful and encouraging. I hope you accept it in the spirit it is given.*Smile*

I liked your poem. I thought it was original and funny. I thought that the imagery was really written well. I could envision everything you described and the tone of your piece was brightly portrayed and light. I thought that your poem was well written. It is obvious that it is a freestyle poem as the stanzas are uneven. They are almost all separate entities because the rhyme scheme is also a little off. All though the rhyme scheme is a little off, it was easy to find and maintain.

The only issue that I thought needed a second look is in the first stanza third line. Cheked should be checked.

This concludes my review. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging. Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work. I wish you continued success in your writing and in life. I hope that you write as if your life depends on it but let it flow as if there is no end to it. Write on, read on, write on! Taryn

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Need an Upgraded Membership?
Check out
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
57
57
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Marti! How are you? I believe this is the first time I have reviewed any of your items and I want to say it is a pleasure. I found your poem through the random read and I thought I would give it a review.*Smile* My review is strictly my opinion and is meant to be helpful and encouraging. I hope you accept it in the spirit it is given.*Smile*

As I am sure that most people can, I relate to this poem. The older I get the more that I think that the saying "You are as young as you feel" is true. When I hit thirty, I became really depressed because I felt like I had not accomplished everything that I should have at that age. And I also felt like I hadn't really lived. To be honest, I still feel that way sometimes. But I realize that I am not dead yet, and some of the things I would like to do or experience are still reachable. I also know that I have been extremely blessed. Your poem reminded me of that very thought. Life may not have given me what I thought I wanted...but it sure gave me what I needed. And I have to say, it ain't half bad. *Smile* Thank you for reminding me of this with your poem and for letting me know that everyone has had the same thoughts and one time or another.

I thought your poem was well written. I found no mistakes nor did I think of anything that would enhance your poem.

This concludes my review. Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of reading and reviewing your poem. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging and I hope I did not ramble on too much as I tend to do.*Laugh* I wish you continued success with your writing and in life. Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Need an upgraded membership? Check out
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
58
58
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I finally finished reading the second half of your story. I am sorry it has taken me so long to read it, but I just haven't had the energy.

What can I say about your story that you don't already know? I think it is fantastic. It is readily apparent that you have worked really hard on this story. The battle scenes were expertly written. I thought your descriptions were well done and need no editing. I thought you stuck to your story line and it remained exciting, including the epilogue...until the very end. I clearly enjoyed it. I think that you were true to the integrity of your story and to the "mythology" format. Reading it now, you would have no idea that this wasn't written sometime ago in the distant past. I really think this is good enough to publish. I really do. I cannot wait to read the next two sections to this story, even though I have already read the epilogue (I couldn't help myself).

I think that this ends my glowing review of your wonderful piece.I know that this review is sorely lacking compared to some of my others...but I am sure you understand. As always I wish you continued success with life and your writing. Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
59
59
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Holly Anderson ! I found your poem on the Review Me Page for the Power Reviewers Group and I thought I would check it out. I hope my review finds you in great spirits and fantastic health. I hope you understand that my review is intended to be helpful and encouraging. I am not an expert, but I love poetry and write some of my own. I hope you accept my review in the spirit it is given.*Smile*

I can relate to your poem and I feel that many others can relate also. I thought you did a good job in relaying the affects that this noise has on your daily functions. I thought your poem had a nice easy flow that was consistent from beginning to end. The rhyme scheme you chose was uncomplicated and easy to maintain.

I didn't see anything that I thought needed a second look, or at least nothing that I think pertinent enough to mention.

This concludes my review. I hope it was helpful and encouraging. Thank you so much for allowing me the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work. I wish you continued success with your writing and in life. Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Need help with an Upgraded membership?
Check out "Invalid Item.
Next round start July 7th!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
60
60
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Zoe Ross ! This review is part of your Solar Package gifted to you by Elle . I hope my review finds you in great spirits and fantastic health. My review is intended to be helpful and encouraging. I am honest, but if I offend you please let me know. I hope you accept my review in the spirit it is given.*Smile*

The subject of friendships is one that everyone can relate to and is written about almost as much as love. I personally do not have a lot of friends because I think that to be someone's friend is a very high honor that not everyone can have. If I call you my friend, then no matter what ...I am your friend for life; regardless of whether or not you are MY friend for life. I think that people use the word friend very loosely, and sometimes treat those people they call friends just as loose. I thought your poem did a good job in expressing the pain that faulty friendships can have. You did a good job in explaining what you think a true friend should be and how a true friend should act. I think that your readers will have no doubt that this poem was written from personal experience and that this "friendship" has affected you in a very hurtful way. I hope that you have recovered and moved on from this experience. However, I will say that from my own experience...this kind of pain is not easily erased and definitely is not forgotten. I thought your word choices did a pretty good job of maintaining the rhyme scheme you have chosen and you stayed true to your topic throughout the length of your poem.

What I thought needed a second look was your sentence format. I like that your piece is written in stanza's because it helps your readers keep up with the current topic. However, I do think that your sentence structures are a bit long and could benefit with more periods and less comma's. I also think that you could delete some unnecessary words that would help make the flow more uniform. This is just my personal opinion and has no bearing on my overall thoughts of your poem.*Smile*

This concludes my review for your Solar Package. I hope that it was helpful and encouraging. I wish you continued success with your writing and in life. Enjoy the rest of your Solar Package! Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Need help with an upgraded membership?
Check out "Invalid Item.
Next round starts July 7th!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
61
61
Review of In between.  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello! I found your poem on the Newbie Page and I thought that I would check it out. Please understand that my review is intended to be helpful and encouraging. If I offend you in anyway, please do not hesitate to let me know. My review comes from a good place, I hope you will accept it in the spirit it is given.*Smile*

I loved your poem. Your piece is so well written that I was transported to a place that I long to be; where love is everything and everything is love. The rhythm and rhyme were paired like a meal and a fine wine, being enjoyed with a backdrop of a warm sunset and the smell of the sea. Very well done.

What I thought needed a second look was punctuation. The majority of your poem has no punctuation, but there are a few lines that do. I think that the format for this piece allows for either punctuation or none. I usually follow one rule: If I am writing in complete sentences, then I follow the usual rules of normal sentences. I only capitalize the beginning of each new thought or idea and not necessarily each new line. If I am writing in fragmenting sentences, then I do not use punctuation at all and I usually do punctuate the beginning of each line. This is just a personal thing for me, but I would suggest for this piece to use one or the other. Whether you change it or not will not change my feelings about this piece. I think it's outstanding.

This concludes my review. I hope it was helpful and encouraging. Thank you so much for sharing it and for allowing me the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work. Again, welcome to the WDC! I hope you enjoy being here as much as I do. I wish you continued success. Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Need help with an upgraded membership?
Check out "Invalid Item


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
62
62
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello! Welcome to the WDC! I found your poem on the Newbie Page and I thought I would check it out. Please understand that my review is meant to be helpful and encouraging. If I offend you in any way, do not hesitate to let me know. Please accept this review in the spirit it is given.*Smile*

What I liked about your piece is that it is very original and introspective. Your piece allows your readers to get to know you and a little bit of what you experienced in your life. I like the imagery and melancholic tone of this piece. It made me think of my own childhood and my own impressions of life at that time. It is amazing that sometimes, no matter how old we get...our thoughts or impressions that we had as a child, stay with us. I thought your piece did a good job of expressing this notion.

There are several factors that I thought needed a second look. The number one thing I noticed was that this piece is labeled as a poem. Immediately, I could tell that this was not a poem. It does have rhyming factors...but the format you chose dictates that this piece is a Prose and not a Poem. If you want to keep this piece labeled as it is...then changing the format is imperative. To change the label...all you need to do is edit your piece. Once you get to the edit screen...right there in the first block is a line that you can choose to change the label.

In the first paragraph, I noticed that the second sentence is a run-on sentence with too many comma's. Personally, I would put a period after nine, remove the comma after out. I would put a period after sunshine, put "that" after picture, and a period after drew. I would delete "it made a statement" and start a new sentence with "It". I think you meant to say it was so much prettier than mine. I will say that when I read the first paragraph, I wasn't sure what was "prettier than mine". I didn't know if you meant the sun was prettier than the one you drew or if your were talking about the house. Of course, the more I read, the meaning became clear. I will not go through each paragraph ...but I will say that this piece would benefit from an edit. There is text language, and I believe that in writing, you should never use text language. It makes your piece appear to be unfinished. I think if you edit this piece again by removing unnecessary words and put spaces after the comma's and not before them, this piece would be easier to read.


Personally, I would love to see this piece in true poetic form. It would take a lot of work..but it can be done. I think that there could be so many directions you could take this. I am going to use your first two paragraphs to show you what I mean.
I have always loved yellow houses
They were prettier than mine
I first saw it down the street
When I was nine

It stood out like a ray of sunshine
Like the sun with the smile
In the pictures that I drew
It was prettier than mine

Bleak, like all the rest
Conformed and drained of life
Then, bam...
It was a rainbow for my eyes

It looked like the houses I used to draw
I bet the inside is like no other
Staircases of candy lined with toys
And bright with so many paints and colors


Please remember that this is just my opinion, you are welcome to discard it. I see so much potential in this piece. It's great as a prose, and as I already stated...with some editing it could be great.

This concludes my review. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging. Thank you so much for sharing. Again, welcome to the WDC. I hope you take off your shoes and stay awhile! Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Need help with an upgraded memebership?
Check out "Invalid Item


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
63
63
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hiya Dearie...I finally got to read your latest and I must say that I am going to have to add it to my list of favorites that you have written.

I thought your story was very engaging and sweet. I liked both of your characters very much. You did a good job of developing them without doing it in an obvious way, and they were very realistic.The flow of your piece was also very good. Nice, easy...yet moved along with purpose and foresight. I think this is one of your better pieces. I love your work...and it seems that your writing is getting better and better. Keep up the good work! *Smile*

I think that your work is pretty much polished. I think that a final edit would be good, but just as a precaution. I think that in the second paragraph..you meant for dozy to be doozy. Other wise I think that this piece is pretty well finished. I have decided to go to your port and see if there is anything there that I have missed. I am sure that there is.

Well..as always...thanks for sharing. I enjoy your work...you should really catalog your shorts and put them together...so that I can read them all in one spot...and between two covers. For some reason reading them online is not the same as reading them in book form.*Smile*Talk to you soon lovey. Take care of yourself.

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
"Invalid Item
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
64
64
Review of Stupid  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, I found your poem through the random read. My review is intended to be helpful and encouraging. Please accept it in the spirit it is given.*Smile*

I liked your poem. I read it several times, not to get your meaning...but to see what I would get from it. For me, good poetry can be seen from many different angles and have many different meanings, depending on who is reading it. Your poem does that for me. What I got out your poem was that the author found something fantastic, wonderful...the stuff that dreams are made of. And like with a lot of thing we want, when they were able to put their hands on this dream come true, they became blinded by the euphoria of their dream. But when they were grounded by a mistake, they realized that their dream come true was only temporary. And they were left a lone to contemplate their experience. I find that for me in life, we have this experience at different times and in different ways. Depending on your dream....sometimes that fall from grace can be a hard one. I liked your poem a lot. The flow was very easy and natural. Your rhyme scheme was consistent and the imagery you projected was clear.

I didn't see anything that I thought needed a second look, nor did I think of anything that would enhance your piece.

This concludes my review. Thank you so much for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging. I wish you continued success in life and in your work. Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
65
65
Review of Beg and Plead  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi! Thank you for your request for a review from "Invalid Item. My honest review is intended to be helpful and encouraging. If I write a comment that you find hurtful or judgmental, please bring it to my attention. Any opinion you do not agree with, please file it away in file thirteen. This is after all, you work and it should represent you. *Smile* I see that you have set this item up for auto rewards; because you have already paid for your review, I will return your rewards with this review. Now ...on to the good stuff! *Smile*

I found your piece to be very interesting, reflective, visual, and profound. Profound in that this poem has the ability to have several points of view or allows your reader to read it with a personal view in mind. That is a sign of good poetry in my book! I thought the imagery was fantastic in this piece because with each progression of your plot and change in stanza's I could clearly see what you intended, and at the same time I was able to visualize what was influenced by my own personal views. I thought it was reflective because I could relate this piece to my own life and circumstances. I could visually put myself in your poem. I saw myself very clearly there, even though the circumstances were not the same. I found your piece interesting because of the current state of our economy and the needs of the world. At the same time I see that we are surrounded by the fact that everyone sees the same thing, acknowledges that there is a need for good will, but do not quite see that each and everyone of us is responsible for changing it. With your piece I see that person doing what we all should be doing, but somehow he gets crushed and overwhelmed by the need and finds himself overcome. To answer your questions you mention in your request...Is this piece provocative? Yes, I found your piece to be stimulating in that it reinforced what I see and hear every day. Is it effective? Yes, I found it to be effective because it makes me want to do my part, makes me want to relieve the burden of someone else who is doing everything he can to do good in the world. I thought your poem was well written. Your piece gives your readers food for thought that they can savor later. Really well done.

I didn't see anything that I thought needed a second look nor did I think of anything that would enhance your piece.

This concludes my review. I hope it was helpful and encouraging. Thank you for your request for a review by "Invalid Item. I really enjoyed reading your piece. I hope I answered your questions to your satisfaction. I wish you continued success with your writing and in life. Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
This review was submitted to Good Deeds Get Cash!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
66
66
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello! I am reviewing your poem for the WDC Power Reviewers Spring Raid! My review is just my humble opinion, meant to be helpful and encouraging. Please accept it in the spirit it is given.*Smile*

I like your poem. I thought the imagery was expertly painted with vivid sadness and undercurrents of hope and melancholy. I thought the rhyme scheme you chose was great and consistent throughout. The format you have chosen lends itself to a song like quality that makes your poem very easy to read. I like how you describe the similarities between the tree, the woman, and death. The symbolic comparisons between them is not a new idea, but the way you write about it is very beautiful. For me, your poem reminds your readers that there is a time and season for every thing. Sometimes in life we get so caught up in the moment, in the pain for that minute, in the rain for that season, or the cold for that night... that we forget that the problems we are having or whatever the issue is, will not last forever. That life for someone, somewhere...will always go on. I try to keep that in perspective but sometimes when you are in the middle of it, it is hard to remember that. I think your poem does a good job of reminding us that no matter what...life does continue. I thought your poem was really well written.

I did not see anything that I thought needed a second look, nor did I think of anything that might enhance your poem.

This concludes my review. Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work.I hope my review was helpful and encouraging. I wish you continued success in life and in your writing. Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Submitted to Good Deeds Get Cash!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
67
67
Review of Spring Rain  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! I am reviewing your poem for the WDC Power Review Spring Raid! My review is meant to be helpful and encouraging. Please accept it in the spirit it is given. *Smile*

I liked your poem a lot. The correlation between spring and love is not a new idea, but I love the poetic way you wrote about it. Your poem is beautifully written; enhanced by the imagery that danced to the rhythm and rhyme scheme that you chose. My favorite stanza is the first one. I think it describes very well the depth of feeling that true love has, and I thought it set the tone of your poem very well. I also like how your poem doesn't scream spring, but yet that is the feeling your reader gets while reading it. Especially upon reading the first stanza; I immediately got a visual of beautiful flowers, plush green grass, a bright sun on a warm day, and a happy heart. I also like the last stanza because it ends in a way that is unexpected. Usually when you read about spring rain it is in the context of renewal, a new beginning....but not usually sadness. And yet that is what I feel when I read the ending. I think that the last stanza ends your poem well, leaving your reader with the feeling of loss that losing a true love can have.. Again, I think your poem beautifully written. I enjoyed it very much.

I didn't see anything that I thought needed a second look, nor did I think of anything that might enhance your poem.

This concludes my review for the WDC Power Rewiewers Spring Raid. Thank you so much for allowing me the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging. I wish you continued success in writing and in life. Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
68
68
Review of Flares and Ashes.  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello again. I hope your weekend is going well. This is the review from "Invalid Item that you ordered. Please keep in mind that my reviews are honest but not meant to be hurtful or judgmental. Please accept it in the spirit it is given.*Smile*

I read your poem several times, and I found it to be full of little gems. Poetry, like anything written, is subjective. Sometimes as the writer, the way you intend for something to come across is not necessarily what is relayed to the reader when they read it. But that is what I love about poetry. Sometimes the meaning of a poem changes with the reader. What I liked about your poem is that it has that possibility; to morph itself from reader to reader. For me, your poem reiterated what many poems over history have been about. That true love can conquer many things, even death. In the first stanza you speak of the joys of love and how you want to drown in it or soar through it. I like how in the second stanza how you speak of love turning to blindness for the day. But just for the day? And if love is really true...is it really blind? Or is it genuine in spite of the imperfections? It would be nice if everything were easy and perfect, and that every romance we had was filled with love and dream fulfillment. But they aren't, we tend to get hurt and turn around and do it again sometimes. Would we want to never feel the joys of love and romance again; only because an experience may not have been as perfect as we would have liked? I doubt it. I also like that you say that knowing your love isn't perfect, you would not change anything. *Smile*

What I thought needed a second look was cosmetic only. First, when I read the by line to this piece I was a little confused."Left are only ashes before a tragic trauma." Hmmm...where did the ashes come from BEFORE the event? Are you sure you didn't mean AFTER an event? Also, I am going to tell you what a friend and fellow writer told me once. Not putting a space after a comma is like watching someone come from the bathroom with their skirt tucked into their pantyhose. *Laugh* Please place a space after your commas, I like to think of it as allowing your previous thought to take a breath before continuing on...and it just looks better.*Smile*

This concludes my review. Thank you for your request and for allowing me the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging. I wish you continued success in life and in your writing. Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
69
69
Review of Fingerprints 2  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like your poem. It is very sweet and visual. It also leaves your reader with food for thought. What kind of prints do we leave on someone's heart when we hurt them? Makes me wonder.

I didn't see anything that I thought needed a second look nor did I think of anything that would enhance your poem.

Thank you for sharing your poem with me. As always i am enlightened. I hope you are still on the road to recovery and have had no setbacks. I also hope you continue to write. I have not written in a while...so maybe you can write for the both of us. *Smile* Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
70
70
Review of death is not free  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello! I found your poem through the Random Read and I thought I would give it a review. I am not an expert, but just a fellow writer who enjoys reading and reviewing. My review is meant to be helpful and encouraging. Please accept it in the spirit it is given.*Smile*

I liked your poem a lot. I have never tried to write a Monotetra style poem before, but after seeing yours I am inspired.*Smile* I love the style and subject matter of your poem. I thought that it flowed well and your word choices added to the continuity of this flow. The imagery was also written well. I like how you used these scenarios to represent certain events that happen in a life. And you are very right...death is not free. I think you did a really nice job with this piece, and I would bet I am not the only person who has told you this.*Smile*

I didn't see anything that I thought needed a second look, nor did I think of anything that I thought would enhance your poem.

This concludes my review. Thank you so much for allowing me the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging. I wish you continued success with your writing and in life. Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
71
71
Review of For Awhile  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, I found your poem through the random read. My review is intended to help and encourage. Please accept it in the spirit it is given.*Smile*

I like this poem. I can really relate, especially at this moment in time. This poem speaks creatively about the cost and pain of disillusion and betrayal by almost everyone you know or come into contact with. It's almost like having an intense dream crushed in a cruel way. It's devastating. I think you did a really good job of describing these feelings. I also thought that your references to certain scenes in the bible brought a vivid imagery to your piece that brought home the exact feeling that you were trying to get across to your reader. I thought your poem was really written well. If this piece was inspired by your life...I hope that you have moved on and gotten past those that have wronged you. If not, I hope this poem was able to bring a little pit of peace of mind to your situation.

I didn't see anything that needed a second look, nor did I think of anything that would enhance your piece.

This concludes my review. Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging. I wish you continued success in life and in your writing. Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
This review was submitted for Good Deeds Get Cash


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
72
72
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello! I found your item on the GC+ Shameless Plug Page. I am no expert, but I am just a fellow writer who likes to help when possible. My review is just my opinion that is meant to help and encourage and is not meant to be hurtful or be judgmental. Please accept it in the spirit it is given.*Smile*

What first attracted me to your piece was the title. I am a current smoker who says she is going to quit, but just hasn't found the time...*Laugh* That is probably because I still enjoy it too much. I know it isn't healthy, but shouldn't everyone have a vice?*Smile* Smoking is very much a social sport. I find that when I am alone I smoke considerably less than I do when I am in the company of other smokers. It is almost like a private club.*Smile* What I like about your piece is how you describe the intimacy that comes around innocently, or maybe not so innocently. I thought your word choices were really good. The imagery was vivid enough that I could see your breath as you exhaled in teeny tiny corners with your backs to the wind; huddled smugly together as an excuse to share body heat. I like how you described how this habit became secondary to your need to be around this person, but not having enough courage to call it what it is. A shame that you have to wait until Winter to feed your new habit. *Smile*I thought this piece was written well. It is relate-able, visual, personal, and sweetly romantic.

What I thought needed a second look is just the static item category. Because of the unconventional and "wordy" format, I would change the category from poetry to prose. Other than that, I saw nothing that needed a second look , nor did I think of anything that would make your item better.

My favorite part:
We, and our gang of growing friends - would talk at a bar.
Talk about our colleagues.
Talk about our business.
Talk about our friends.
Talk about our hopes.
Talk about our dreams.
Not all of that at first - it grew from simple talks
to big talks
to emotional talks
to spacious, wide open talks.
LOVE THIS LINE!
I think this was a creative way to show the progression in the relationship and how the feelings got to be where they are.


This concludes my review. Thank you so much for sharing and for allowing me the pleasure of reviewing your work. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging. I wish you continued success in your writing, in life, and with your smoking buddy*Smile*. Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
73
73
Review of IF ONLY...  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! I found your piece through the random read and I thought I would give it a review.

I find the 55 word contest very challenging. So challenging that I am too chicken to try it..lol. I admire anyone who can tell a good story in 55 words. I think you've done a great job of telling the story and adding a comedic element at just the right moment. I thought your story was entertaining and written well.

I didn't see anything that I thought needed a second look.
This concludes my review. Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work. I really enjoyed the read! I hope my review was helpful and encouraging. I wish you continued success with your writing and in life. Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
CHECK OUT
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
74
74
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! I found your item through the random read. I thought I would read and review. My review is just my opinion meant to help and encourage and not meant to be hurtful or judgmental. Please accept it in the spirit it is given.*Smile*

I liked your piece. I took it seriously until the end, and then I laughed out loud. So funny! I thought your piece was original, cute, and funny. I think that you lead your reader well without giving anything away. I thought it was really well written. I really enjoyed this piece!

I didn't see anything that I thought needed a second look, nor did I think of anything that would enhance this piece.

This concludes my review. Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging. I wish you continued succes in your writing and in life. Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

{


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
75
75
Review of Alive and Living  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello again! This is the second and final installment to your review request from "Invalid Item. Thank you for your request..now on with the review!*Smile*

I like this poem. It shows good depth of feeling and even if your readers cannot relate to your feelings, you have done a good job of explaining your pain; but I would bet that more than not...that many of your readers can relate. As you have explained in your poem...going through the motions of life is no way to live. At some point in our lives I believe that each of us has felt alone, a man unto himself...or on the outside looking in. One thing that I have learned is that life is full of mountains and valleys. I think we remember the valleys more because the depth of some of the valleys can be so deep that we sometimes think we will never see the light of day again. To be sure that we don't stay in the rut...I think we sometimes have to make a conscious effort to live...to see the bright side of things. Because another lesson I have learned is that it can always get worse...ALWAYS. For me, one way to keep from constantly treading water is I count my blessings. When I look around at the world as it is today...and how many people have so much less...I become increasingly grateful. Of course we are going to have bad days...but during those bad days...try to live...even if it's just a little.*Smile*

The only issue that I thought needed a second look was basic editing. The format of your piece is fine, but I do think there is an over use of comma's. I also think that some words can be eliminated to accentuate the flow of your poem. In the second stanza, line six...I think you meant to capitalize the I. One last thing is cosmetic. You should always place a space after your comma. A good friend told me once..."Seeing a sentence that does not have a space after the comma is like watching someone come out of the bathroom with the back of the skirt tucked into their pantyhose." It cracked me up and I have never forgotten it.*Laugh*As with the last review...I have rewritten your poem with the corrections that I thought it needed. You will see one at the end that I did not mention because it is something I thought would help with feeling or getting your point across. As with all of the corrections...it is just a personal preference.

I see them gathering around me, smiling.
They tell a joke and I laugh on command, not because it's funny.
They don't know the pain that comes with every breath.
I am alive but I am not living.

I take a breath in and I feel agonizing pain.
I take a breath out and all I think is, make it stop.
My heart beats but my soul is weak.
I am alive but am not living.

I see everyone around me live each day.
Smile, laugh, listen, eat. I see them live.
While they live, I sit here in this life and just stay alive.
I write this poem to let you know I am alive but...

I am not living.


This concludes my review and finalizes your request from my forum. I hope it was helpful and encouraging. Thank you so much for your request. I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work. Thank you for allowing me the pleasure. I wish you continued success in your writing and in life. Write on, read on, rate on! Taryn

Group Affiliations: "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
398 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 16 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tammiemachelle/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3