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1,008 Public Reviews Given
1,045 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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176
176
Review of Love  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi,
I thought your poem emitted a depth of despair, hopelessness, and sadness. So many questions and not enough answers. I think that this poem could be better if it were more consistent with the punctuation. Some lines are punctuated, and some aren't. I would read this aloud and see if I could make the rhythm a little easier to figure out. Other than that, I think you poem is good. Hopefully someday, someone will change your mind about love.
Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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177
Review of Friends  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi,
I think your poem is a good one, but I think with a couple of changes it could be great.
1.For me, the spacing breaks up the flow of this piece. If the lines were closer together, then it be more cohesive.
2. I think the first line should read " Though every day we may fight, it is solved before the night." or "Every day we may fight, but it is solved before the night."
3. Third line, "its" should be " it's".
4. I think you should do away with the period in the last line. Since you haven't used punctuation anywhere else, this period seems out of place. Having said that, the last two lines are my favorite.
Again, I liked your poem. It has great bones, and with a little more editing it could be five stars. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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178
178
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi,
I like your poem. I think the rhythm is pretty good, but I think the rhyme in the last stanza is a little off...Meditative and interpretive to me do not rhyme. It wouldn't stand out so much if the rest of your poem didn't rhyme. It helps (for me) to read my work out loud. Problems with rhythm and rhyme that you wouldn't normally pick up are easier detected. I think with a final edit to this piece, your poem could be five stars. I hope I was able to help.Thank you for sharing it and welcome to the WDC. Write On!
Taryn
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179
179
Review of Morphine Dreams  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi,
I liked your poem. I think the premise is good. But I think a little revamping of the format will make the flow a little more natural and the rhythm a little easier to pick up. For example: in the second line I would put a period after gas. I would put a semi-colon after rage, and a period after cage. I then would make the next line read "A cage made of solid gold confusion." Then the last line reading "Fret not my sad brothers, all life is a drug induced illusion."
These of course are just my suggestions. I think your poem has a good message. Thank you for sharing it and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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180
180
Review of have You  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi,
I liked your poem. The imagery is great. I could almost experience all these things with you. However, I was a little confused by the inconsistent punctuation. I think that if you are using punctuation, then you should not capitalize the first letter of every line, just every new thought. This will also help with the flow.
Other than that, I thought your poem was good. Than you for sharing it and welcome to the WDC.
Taryn
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181
181
Review of The Truth Inside  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi,
I thought that your poem was beautiful. Nicely written. The rhythm and rhyme are pretty good, and the imagery is great. The only things I would change would be to only capitalize at the beginning of every sentence or thought, not necessarily every line; only because you have chosen to use punctuation. And I would also reevaluate my sentences. I think some are too long and some could use comma's.
Other than that, I see nothing wrong with your poem. Nice job. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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182
182
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,
I liked your poem. The feelings are evident, the premise behind it is good; and the flow is uncomplicated. I do think it could benefit from a final edit. A comma here or there and a tightening up of the format a little could finish this up nicely. I think you have done a good job. I can definitely relate. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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183
183
Review of My First Poem  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
Hi,
Let me say that I understand that we are fallible. That we make mistakes, especially if it is our first time doing it or trying it. However, for me that does not mean that I do not strive to do whatever I can to make it better. That is how I learn, how I become better. Because of that, I have decided to review your poem anyway and give my best advice, because even if it is your first one, it doesn't mean it can't be the best it can be. I only want to help and hope you receive it in the manor that is given.
Having said all that, let me also say that I liked your poem. I think the premise behind it is sound. I think the imagery is also good. But there is one thing that I think needs to be done.
1. Edit. All of the "errors" I see are grammatical. There are comma's where periods would serve you better. There are comma's at the beginning of lines. And when referencing yourself, your "i's" should be "I". As it stands, this piece looks like a rough draft, but from the feeling behind your writing I know that you are well past that.
Unfortunately, in life we are judged by what we put out there.Judging is wrong, but it happens. The only thing we can do is to put our best foot forward, be the best we can be, and hope that the world see us for who and what we really are. Your work on first glance says that you don't care what others think, which may be true. Except for the fact that you are on this site, and since this site is for exposure, education, and encouragement; I can only assume you are here for one or more of those things. I would love to see the edited version of this piece.
Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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184
184
Review of LOL - Now your 40  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Smile*
Funny and cute.
The imagery in your poem is fantastic. I am not forty yet, and I can say I am not quite sure if I am looking forward to it; especially after your piece. LOL. I didn't see a lot of errors, but these are the ones I did see.
1.I do think that in the first line second stanza, I think you meant to put "as fast".
2.I think there are instances where a period would have served you better than a comma.
3.For me, if I am using punctuation, then I don't capitalize the first letter of the first word of every sentence.
These, of course are just my suggestions. I still think your poem is funny, and overall has good bones. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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185
185
Review of In the mirror  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi,
I liked your poem. I think the over all rhythm and and rhyme are good. But because this piece is in free form (which is my favorite), I think that punctuation is not needed. I think the lack of punctuation in free form adds to the open flow of it (just my opinion of course). For the most part, I think your poem is great. I did however see a couple of things that I think should change.
1. When using "i" to reference a person, you should always capitalize it.
2. Rythem should be rhythm.
With a final edit, I think this piece could be just a little better. Hope I was able to help, thanks for sharing; and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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186
186
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi,
Though short, I like this poem because it is packed full of imagery. It puts me right in that spot, in that situation, in that time. The only thing I would change would be the last line. I feel that the rhythm and rhyme are paired nicely in your poem until the last line. Other than that I thought the poem was great. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC.
Write on!
Taryn
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187
187
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi,
Lovely poem and even lovelier picture..With such a short poem, there isn't much that can be said. There are no grammatical errors, the rhythm and rhyme are equally good. The poem is sweet, but of course the picture pulls at the heart. Congratulations on such a precious gift. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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188
188
Review of Walk  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi,
I liked your poem. I think the flow is nice and easy to follow. However, did think there was an excessive amount of comma's where a semi-colon should be. I also think that this piece has the potential to be five stars if you work on the word choice for rhyming (seems a little predictable), and intensify the imagery. Again, I liked your poem; I think a little tweaking could make it a little better. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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189
189
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello,
Your poem is heartbreaking and sad. However, I know that there are a lot of children who experience this same thing. As a mother, this poem tugs at my heart; and at the same time I'm grateful for your father, and I am sure that you have told him so. And because of your father, I hope that you have walked away a little less hurt than you could have.
Having said all that, I had a little issue with the flow with this piece. I understand this is a free form poem, so maybe I just need to find the right cadence. I thought the rhyme scheme was ok, but I would play around with my word choice to make it that much better. Overall, I thought you poem was a good one. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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190
190
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi,
I enjoyed your poem. I like the premise behind your poem. I think the flow is pretty good, however I do think you should be a little more adventurous in your rhyming. I felt that some words were predictable. One way to combat this is to read your work aloud, and allow the words to come to you. Overall I liked your poem. I hope I was able to help. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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191
191
Review of The Dreams  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi,
I liked your poem. The over all flow is good and the rhyme scheme is good. I didn't see any grammatical errors, but I do feel that the second stanza still needs a little more editing. I did notice how the line " My dreams are taunting me tonight" made it's way from the first line to the last line with each progressing stanza. I thought that was a nice touch. *Smile* Again, I liked your poem. I thought it was touching and relatable. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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192
Review of Epitaph  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi again,
I saw this poem in your port and I thought I would give it a read. I like it a lot. It is thought provoking and rings true for others. I wasn't a fan of the format, but it wasn't so distracting that I couldn't move through the poem. The rhyming was good, but the flow was a little rough in spots. I think that it is just a matter of adding or deleting a word here or there. Other than that, I liked your poem a lot. Thank you for sharing. Taryn
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193
Review of Providence  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,
I am returning the favor of your review with a review. I liked this poem. It's short, but says a lot. I like how you are true to the dialect you chose, and how the flow is uncomplicated. This piece was an easy read. Thank you for sharing it and thanks again for your review. Happy Reviewing!
Taryn
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Review of Rain Dance  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Lonnie,
I am returning the favor of your review with a review.
How lovely! I am so glad I picked this poem to review, because at this very moment it is misty and rainy here. There are many poems written about rain, but I have to say that yours is one of the better ones that I have read. The rhythm of your poem is very nice and easy to follow. The imagery is written really well, and goes perfectly with what I see outside my window. This poem is written well, and there is nothing I would suggest that you change. Thank you for sharing it and again, thank you for your review. Happy writing!
Taryn
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195
195
Review of Chew on This  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,
I loved your poem. Food for thought or words for food..? *Smile* Either way, the words of your poem were easy to digest with just enough bite of truth to make you want to chew the fat a little longer so that you have time to ponder the last stanza. I, of course, can offer you nothing that would enhance your piece.Nice job. thank you for sharing and for allowing me to read it.
Taryn
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196
Review of Last Heartbeat  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi,
I saw your poem on the request page and I thought I would check it out.
I did enjoy your poem. There are few spots where the rhythm isn't as smooth as it could be. And even though I understand the reason for the Ba-dumps in between each stanza, I feel that it slows down the flow of your piece. I think that just putting it at the end would send the same message and it wouldn't change the flow of your piece. Overall, i think your poem is good. The feeling behind it is evident and it rings true with anyone who has suffered from a broken heart. Thanks for sharing and keep writing!
Taryn
197
197
Review of Nude Bowling  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
lol,
I thought your poem was very cute. The visual component to your poem is striking and comical (not sure if it is meant to be comical, but I couldn't help but chuckle). Obviously I think your poem is great. The rhythm and rhyme is very easy and unforced. I really enjoyed your piece. As always, I think you did a fantastic job. Thanks for sharing!
Taryn
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Review of Nature  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi,
I liked your poem. I thought it was original, had true depth, and great imagery. The style of language was consistent through out your poem, as was the rhyme scheme. I also appreciate the psalm-like quality of your piece. Nicely done. There were, however,just a few minor things that I thought needed to change.
1. I didn't understand the random capitalization through out your poem. It was a constant distraction from the rhythm of your piece.
2. In the third stanza: third line, I think " cared " should be care.
3. In the same stanza: fourth line, I think you should do away with the first comma.
4. I had a few issues with the punctuation, just because you capitalized the first letter of every sentence. For me, if you are using punctuation, then it means that you are following the general rules it carries. Meaning that just because you have come to the end of a line, doesn't necessarily mean that you have come to the end of a thought or sentence. If that is true then you don't have to capitalize the first letter of the next line. If you aren't using punctuation then capitalizing the first letter of every line is the norm in poetry.

Again, I thought that over all your poem was great, and with a few changes I feel it would be five stars I hope I was able to help. Thanks for sharing and welcome to the WDC.
Taryn
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199
Review of Cat Napping  
In affiliation with Secret Admirers of WDC  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi,
I know that you asked for reviews on the descriptive points in this poem, but for me I think there are other things that would help with the overall aesthetic to this piece. And in turn will make the descriptives that you have used a lot easier to visualize.
For me, while I was trying to visualize what you were writing, I was distracted by a few things.
1. I didn't understand why the sentences are broken up they way they are. Some of it rhymes and some of it doesn't, which is fine; but I find it hard to find a rhythm with the way it is written.
2. The first letter of every line is capitalized, even though your use of punctuation dictates that you are using complete thoughts and sentences.

I think the imagery in your poem is great. I see nothing wrong with that. And if you don't see any issues with the points that I made, then your poem is perfect. This is just my opinion. I hope I was able to help. Thanks for sharing the enviable life of a cat. *Smile*
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Review of Gypsy Moon  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi,
I liked your poem. I thought it was written well. The imagery is vivid. The rhyme is also good. For the most part, the rhythm is good; but there are a couple of spots that are a little rough. Could be that it is just a little wordy in those spots, and deleting a word or two will fix that. Other than that, I thought your poem was good. Thank you for sharing it. Write on! Taryn
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