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1,008 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Morphine Dreams  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
In my opinion....Perfection! I rated this poem again accordingly.
Taryn
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202
Review of Love  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi,
I thought your poem emitted a depth of despair, hopelessness, and sadness. So many questions and not enough answers. I think that this poem could be better if it were more consistent with the punctuation. Some lines are punctuated, and some aren't. I would read this aloud and see if I could make the rhythm a little easier to figure out. Other than that, I think you poem is good. Hopefully someday, someone will change your mind about love.
Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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203
203
Review of Friends  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi,
I think your poem is a good one, but I think with a couple of changes it could be great.
1.For me, the spacing breaks up the flow of this piece. If the lines were closer together, then it be more cohesive.
2. I think the first line should read " Though every day we may fight, it is solved before the night." or "Every day we may fight, but it is solved before the night."
3. Third line, "its" should be " it's".
4. I think you should do away with the period in the last line. Since you haven't used punctuation anywhere else, this period seems out of place. Having said that, the last two lines are my favorite.
Again, I liked your poem. It has great bones, and with a little more editing it could be five stars. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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204
204
Review of onepoem  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hi,
I understand the premise behind this poem. But to be honest, with all the errors and flow problems, I am easily distracted. For example: 1. When using "i" to reference yourself, it should always be capitalized. 2. If you aren't texting, "u" should always be you. 4. In the third line, I think "well" should be " we'll ".5. In the fifth line, " threw" should be " through or thru". 6In the sixth line "minds" should be "mind's". 7. In the eighth line, " im" should be "I'm". 8. In the ninth line, "cant" should be "can't" and again, "threw' should be through or thru". 9. In the tenth line, again "i" should be "I" and "wasnt" should be "wasn't". The other errors in the last three lines I have already addressed.
As I said, I really like your poem. And once you fix the grammatical errors, read your poem out loud and see if the rhythm is on point. I would love to see the edited version. I hope I was able to help. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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205
205
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi,
I like your poem. I think the rhythm is pretty good, but I think the rhyme in the last stanza is a little off...Meditative and interpretive to me do not rhyme. It wouldn't stand out so much if the rest of your poem didn't rhyme. It helps (for me) to read my work out loud. Problems with rhythm and rhyme that you wouldn't normally pick up are easier detected. I think with a final edit to this piece, your poem could be five stars. I hope I was able to help.Thank you for sharing it and welcome to the WDC. Write On!
Taryn
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206
206
Review of Morphine Dreams  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi,
I liked your poem. I think the premise is good. But I think a little revamping of the format will make the flow a little more natural and the rhythm a little easier to pick up. For example: in the second line I would put a period after gas. I would put a semi-colon after rage, and a period after cage. I then would make the next line read "A cage made of solid gold confusion." Then the last line reading "Fret not my sad brothers, all life is a drug induced illusion."
These of course are just my suggestions. I think your poem has a good message. Thank you for sharing it and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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207
207
Review of Female Rage  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi,
I thought this poem was relatable, and true for a lot of people. I think that for the most part the format and rhythm good.But I think the rhyme scheme is predictable. I think the last line kind of screws with the rest of it. I think it should be two lines instead of one. This will keep your rhythm consistent to the end. Other than that, I thought your poem was honest and heart felt. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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208
208
Review of stop talking now  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi,
Wow...short, cutting and straight to the point. I like it! I have felt this way myself many times..(minus the c word). The format is not the best it can be, and with that; the rhythm could be better. In the form that it is in, the rhythm is a little hard to find.
Other than that, I liked this poem. The obvious frustration is noted and relatable. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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209
209
Review of have You  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi,
I liked your poem. The imagery is great. I could almost experience all these things with you. However, I was a little confused by the inconsistent punctuation. I think that if you are using punctuation, then you should not capitalize the first letter of every line, just every new thought. This will also help with the flow.
Other than that, I thought your poem was good. Than you for sharing it and welcome to the WDC.
Taryn
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Review of The Truth Inside  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi,
I thought that your poem was beautiful. Nicely written. The rhythm and rhyme are pretty good, and the imagery is great. The only things I would change would be to only capitalize at the beginning of every sentence or thought, not necessarily every line; only because you have chosen to use punctuation. And I would also reevaluate my sentences. I think some are too long and some could use comma's.
Other than that, I see nothing wrong with your poem. Nice job. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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Review of Dream Princess  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi,
I thought your poem was pretty good. The imagery was good and the progression of thought thru six short stanza is also good. But I do think that a final edit will give this poem a finished look.
1. I think that if you are using punctuation, then you should not begin each line with a capital letter unless each line is the beginning of another thought.
2. I think there are areas where a period would serve you better than a comma.
3. Some stanza's have punctuation and others do not. In poetry, consistency is important. It aids in the flow and format of your poem.
Again, I liked your poem. I thought it was rather deep. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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212
212
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,
I liked your poem. The feelings are evident, the premise behind it is good; and the flow is uncomplicated. I do think it could benefit from a final edit. A comma here or there and a tightening up of the format a little could finish this up nicely. I think you have done a good job. I can definitely relate. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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213
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Review of My First Poem  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
Hi,
Let me say that I understand that we are fallible. That we make mistakes, especially if it is our first time doing it or trying it. However, for me that does not mean that I do not strive to do whatever I can to make it better. That is how I learn, how I become better. Because of that, I have decided to review your poem anyway and give my best advice, because even if it is your first one, it doesn't mean it can't be the best it can be. I only want to help and hope you receive it in the manor that is given.
Having said all that, let me also say that I liked your poem. I think the premise behind it is sound. I think the imagery is also good. But there is one thing that I think needs to be done.
1. Edit. All of the "errors" I see are grammatical. There are comma's where periods would serve you better. There are comma's at the beginning of lines. And when referencing yourself, your "i's" should be "I". As it stands, this piece looks like a rough draft, but from the feeling behind your writing I know that you are well past that.
Unfortunately, in life we are judged by what we put out there.Judging is wrong, but it happens. The only thing we can do is to put our best foot forward, be the best we can be, and hope that the world see us for who and what we really are. Your work on first glance says that you don't care what others think, which may be true. Except for the fact that you are on this site, and since this site is for exposure, education, and encouragement; I can only assume you are here for one or more of those things. I would love to see the edited version of this piece.
Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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214
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Review of LOL - Now your 40  
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Rated: E | (4.0)
*Smile*
Funny and cute.
The imagery in your poem is fantastic. I am not forty yet, and I can say I am not quite sure if I am looking forward to it; especially after your piece. LOL. I didn't see a lot of errors, but these are the ones I did see.
1.I do think that in the first line second stanza, I think you meant to put "as fast".
2.I think there are instances where a period would have served you better than a comma.
3.For me, if I am using punctuation, then I don't capitalize the first letter of the first word of every sentence.
These, of course are just my suggestions. I still think your poem is funny, and overall has good bones. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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215
215
Review of In the mirror  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi,
I liked your poem. I think the over all rhythm and and rhyme are good. But because this piece is in free form (which is my favorite), I think that punctuation is not needed. I think the lack of punctuation in free form adds to the open flow of it (just my opinion of course). For the most part, I think your poem is great. I did however see a couple of things that I think should change.
1. When using "i" to reference a person, you should always capitalize it.
2. Rythem should be rhythm.
With a final edit, I think this piece could be just a little better. Hope I was able to help, thanks for sharing; and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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216
216
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi,
Let me say that I like the premise behind your poem. I think a lot of people have felt those same feelings. I did however see some areas that I think should change. Understand that this is just my opinion, and I just want to help. In the end, this is your piece, and it reflects you.
1.Basically, I think you just need to edit a little more.
2.Any time you are using "i" when referencing a person, you should always capitalize it.
3.There should be a space between I and hear in the third line.
4. In the next to last line, I think thet should be they.
5. I notice that sometimes you use punctuation and sometimes you don't. The inconsistency distracts the reader and it can affect how your work is read. In poetry or any writing really, consistency is important.
Overall I thought your poem was good, with a little editing it could be five stars. Thanks for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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217
217
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi,
Though short, I like this poem because it is packed full of imagery. It puts me right in that spot, in that situation, in that time. The only thing I would change would be the last line. I feel that the rhythm and rhyme are paired nicely in your poem until the last line. Other than that I thought the poem was great. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC.
Write on!
Taryn
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218
218
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi,
Lovely poem and even lovelier picture..With such a short poem, there isn't much that can be said. There are no grammatical errors, the rhythm and rhyme are equally good. The poem is sweet, but of course the picture pulls at the heart. Congratulations on such a precious gift. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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219
219
Review of Walk  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi,
I liked your poem. I think the flow is nice and easy to follow. However, did think there was an excessive amount of comma's where a semi-colon should be. I also think that this piece has the potential to be five stars if you work on the word choice for rhyming (seems a little predictable), and intensify the imagery. Again, I liked your poem; I think a little tweaking could make it a little better. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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220
220
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello,
Your poem is heartbreaking and sad. However, I know that there are a lot of children who experience this same thing. As a mother, this poem tugs at my heart; and at the same time I'm grateful for your father, and I am sure that you have told him so. And because of your father, I hope that you have walked away a little less hurt than you could have.
Having said all that, I had a little issue with the flow with this piece. I understand this is a free form poem, so maybe I just need to find the right cadence. I thought the rhyme scheme was ok, but I would play around with my word choice to make it that much better. Overall, I thought you poem was a good one. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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221
221
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi,
I enjoyed your poem. I like the premise behind your poem. I think the flow is pretty good, however I do think you should be a little more adventurous in your rhyming. I felt that some words were predictable. One way to combat this is to read your work aloud, and allow the words to come to you. Overall I liked your poem. I hope I was able to help. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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222
222
Review of The Dreams  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi,
I liked your poem. The over all flow is good and the rhyme scheme is good. I didn't see any grammatical errors, but I do feel that the second stanza still needs a little more editing. I did notice how the line " My dreams are taunting me tonight" made it's way from the first line to the last line with each progressing stanza. I thought that was a nice touch. *Smile* Again, I liked your poem. I thought it was touching and relatable. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the WDC. Write on!
Taryn
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Review of Epitaph  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi again,
I saw this poem in your port and I thought I would give it a read. I like it a lot. It is thought provoking and rings true for others. I wasn't a fan of the format, but it wasn't so distracting that I couldn't move through the poem. The rhyming was good, but the flow was a little rough in spots. I think that it is just a matter of adding or deleting a word here or there. Other than that, I liked your poem a lot. Thank you for sharing. Taryn
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Review of Providence  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,
I am returning the favor of your review with a review. I liked this poem. It's short, but says a lot. I like how you are true to the dialect you chose, and how the flow is uncomplicated. This piece was an easy read. Thank you for sharing it and thanks again for your review. Happy Reviewing!
Taryn
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Review of Rain Dance  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Lonnie,
I am returning the favor of your review with a review.
How lovely! I am so glad I picked this poem to review, because at this very moment it is misty and rainy here. There are many poems written about rain, but I have to say that yours is one of the better ones that I have read. The rhythm of your poem is very nice and easy to follow. The imagery is written really well, and goes perfectly with what I see outside my window. This poem is written well, and there is nothing I would suggest that you change. Thank you for sharing it and again, thank you for your review. Happy writing!
Taryn
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