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Rated: ASR · Book · Personal · #1300042
Sometimes epiphanies about my insights on writing and life and what goes on...
Trying make sense of life is maddening. Why do I need to know, when truth may not actually exist? Learning to accept would be a better pursuit. Flailing about in mediocrity, hoping to bust out.

Read me, don't read me. I'm going to dare you to read anyway.

I update my portfolio page as often as possible. Mr. October Go there to see new messages. You will always see me. I am visible. You can put a face with a name. I would like other writers to crawl out from under their rocks and post their pics on main pages. Fiction is what you write, not who you are.

I also encourage you to read my notebook, biography and more. I'm always updating, because I am restless.

THANK YOU alfred booth, wanbli ska for the ribbon and continuous support!

My blogging days at Writing.Com began here [FOR MEMBERS] >>>
My Journal  (13+)
This is my pulpit. I'm no preacher, just long to be heard like the rest of us.
#1149750 by Mr. October


Where I hide most of my poetry [FOR MEMBERS]. Warts and all, where I bare my chest and try to make sense of my craft.
Such Longing For A Blind Dreamer  [13+]
A journey through my life from early poetry to the present.
by Mr. October
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
October 26, 2016 at 11:53pm
October 26, 2016 at 11:53pm
These are the prompts that inspire me. BTW, not a good poem, but love pushing around those words to see what I can do with dreamlike subject...

Eye of God,
In your death throes,
trillion-mile-long tunnel of glowing gases,
A journey I long
Alone, where I belong

Let me penetrate
Your aquarian realm,
Swim in a blue sea of telescopic light,
Disintegrate my limbs
Together, grow strong

Five billion years
Is too long to wait
The final, evolutionary state
Send my heart on arrow
To mythical heaven

Earth rots my organs
Promises death only
Your faint nebula plugs a constellation
Fill an empty container
With unwished dreams.

Inspired by...

The image Intrigued and article peaked my longing to know more.

October 26, 2016 at 12:05am
October 26, 2016 at 12:05am
October 25, 2016 at 2:57pm
October 25, 2016 at 2:57pm
I always struggled with being labeled as 'different' and then 'sensitive' so I learned to humble myself through self-deprecating humor to gain acceptance...
That did not go well, either. So, I'm a mix of narcissist, self-hater and non-conformist who wants to see the world his way...

The Prankster  (13+)
A troubled boy cannot appease everyone with his attempts at humor.
#1195045 by Mr. October

These days, I'm indifferent, mostly. But, I can be deeply passionate and opinionated when I'm moved. I reserve those feelings for personal stuff.
October 25, 2016 at 2:44pm
October 25, 2016 at 2:44pm
I strategically place flashlights throughout the house. Not the big expensive kind that usually fall apart or give me problems. But the little flashlights you can get at the dollar store that take a AA battery.

I place mine on top of the refrigerator, inside the hallway closet, on top of the dresser and on the shelf above the litter box in the basement.

A long time ago, I wanted to put lights inside of our cabinets and closets. But, having a light you can direct is easier and cheaper, without creating shadows from light pointed straight down. Once, I painted all the shelves in the pantry white because of the difficulty seeing with dark wood.

Also, try to make use of natural light when doing things in the house...during the day! 😄

I'm not much of a reader (these days), but when I do (and write) I use a larger font.
October 23, 2016 at 12:04pm
October 23, 2016 at 12:04pm
"He who humbles himself will be exalted."
Just trust in God's mercy.

Beautifully worded prayers mean nothing if the heart behind them contains self-righteousness but no real faith or humility. God will draw near to us during times of humble prayer, but if our inner self is haughty as we pray, He will regard our petitions from a distance. Though the Lord is on high, He looks upon the lowly, but the proud He knows from afar. — Psalm 138:6
October 19, 2016 at 8:42am
October 19, 2016 at 8:42am
Invisible waves reap moisture
Harvested condensates
They're succor a void
Curling foliage
Like warped origami
Brightly Spastic
The spindly laughing children
Sway on indifferent arms
Soon unburdened
As their subjects
Scurry off
With the recess alarm.

To be edited when I'm rested...
October 14, 2016 at 7:30pm
October 14, 2016 at 7:30pm
I lost 20 lbs. in two years, though feels it's really been since the start of summer. My workout regimen is really paying off. But I've turned the corner into AARPland and don't know how much longer I can keep this up.

The health insurance company through my wife's employer wants the unhealthy people to pay. So, over the last few years I've been forced to meet certain requirements to avoid having insurance premiums jacked up $50 a pay period. They measured BMI (body mass index) and collected data on height, weight and body fat. I trimmed 5% body fat and dropped BMI below obesity level. Feels like I'm still dropping weight, because I move better on basketball court and people who haven't seen me in awhile are remarking about the difference they see. So, it's encouraging and I want to keep trying.

Problem area is my left knee. A doc told me a year ago that I'd be a candidate for knee replacement in three years at this rate. That would mean I'd have to give up the game/running (death sentence 😔) once they repair me. Praying for advances in surgical techniques before my time runs out. In the meantime, I was fitted with a walking brace and I'm using Ace wraps (sometimes on both knees) to reduce stress on those joints. The brace is supposed to keep my leg from bowing. I'm so used to wearing it, would love a mate for my other leg. Puts more strain on my back, but I'm working on posture, too.

I'm getting an overhauled version of me. It will never be as good as the original, but I feel good. I like how I feel after running up and down the court (3 times a week, 2-3 hours a day). I lost my appetite for sugars, drink coffee with butter and coconut oil in it (I heard the Bulletproof coffee doesn't really work, but I think it curbs my appetite and like the taste) and I make sure to hydrate a lot (cutting out soda and juice, etc.).

Pain meds are also a part of my process, as well as gloucosamine for joint revitalization. I use ibuprofen more than Naproxen because I think it works better in short term, but mix it up based on what I'm doing (and I watch the doses to maximize potential without going over in 24 hour period). I discovered Voltarin gel which I can apply directly to stiff areas to reduce swelling and it is safe because it does not affect vital organs.

Ice is very important. Use it when I know I have inflammation that needs to be controlled, and sleep. Did I mention sleep? Workouts are perfect remedy to combat my nocturnal episodes. But, caffeine usage before I play can make me crazy. Cutting out sugars helped. I found a sugarless energy drink and consume it after a coffee. Gets my heart racing. I also know not to go over 400 mgs per 24 hours and come in around 160-200 before I play.

But sleep, it can be an issue. It definitely had been in the past. I suffered from depression most my life. Have small bouts still. I can work through most stuff now to get to sleep. I also have sleep apnea which is being treated with a dental appliance to open my airway. Had to get used to that. The nights I can quiet my mind, I sleep relatively well. But, I get behind on my sleep. My wife says that isn't a thing. But, when I take a pill for anti-anxiety when I have a good window to sleep, it's some of the best rest.

I can go two consecutive days with three or less hours of sleep, be grumpy but function okay until I hit that sweet sleep spot and hit reset button on normality. I find a rested body performs better at basketball, complains less of pain and needs less repair afterward.

That got pretty detailed. Been thinking about that and all the injuries I've suffered and still deal with like tennis elbow and the repaired rotator cuff. And now, the cherry on top: I'm legally blind. I find there are good and bad days with damage to eyes from glaucoma. But, I'm at home in that little gym I've been visiting these past 10 years. I can adapt knowing the game and learning from playing with a lot of the same people.

So, with all the people saying I can't, I will myself to play ball better than I have since 30. I don't know where this is taking me. I want to get the most I can from it, before that knee goes or something else derails my run.

October 13, 2016 at 11:34am
October 13, 2016 at 11:34am
October 13, 2016 at 9:59am
October 13, 2016 at 9:59am

I remember this song waking me one morning on my clock radio and imagined the most beautiful woman singing to me. Did the heart of a lonely 17-year-old some good, now nostalgia for an old, forgotten man.

October 12, 2016 at 11:11pm
October 12, 2016 at 11:11pm
I don't talk about basketball in my blog anymore. I go to the gym 2-3 times a week, sometimes spending up to three straight hours in pickup games at the YMCA. My game recently improved greatly, but I needed my wife to shoot some video to see how I'm moving. I'm somewhat hesitant to put my head down and run full steam most of the time because of my issues with eyesight (legally blind from glaucoma).

Can't be displeased with the results from what I saw so far on video. I don't want to upload entire games to YouTube and taking it from a camera, so there are steps in editing process that I will need time to complete.

I write about my experiences in tweet form now, at one of my three Twitter accounts. The rest of my thoughts were going in hand-written journals, but lost interest in doing that, too.
October 11, 2016 at 10:47pm
October 11, 2016 at 10:47pm
plain and simple...this is THE song...for me:

Another song that got me excited and still gets me to sing along...when alone...

I'm a huge nerd who loves 'Chuck' and the ever so digest able 'Cake'...

[[Embed over limit (1).]]
October 11, 2016 at 10:04pm
October 11, 2016 at 10:04pm
It's been awhile since I've given a review to a thoroughly meritous work. And once in awhile, got that much appreciated response to my effort. Been looking back at my ten years here and have identified highlights like this that brought me joy...

""Bits And Pieces"
October 8, 2016 at 9:41pm
October 8, 2016 at 9:41pm
Really rough, and forced. Just wanted to follow a thought in poem, but it came out somewhere else, somewhere I wasn't going. But, I can revision it the next time or just move on...

Untitled 2

It was the shorter days
The bleakest nights
That inspired my vision
Warmth only from man-made light
Put cheer in my heart
I could rest, hibernate
From my fear of being
unworthy To cross your mantle
I could stay here
Stoke the fire
Meditate over embers
That eventually struggled for breath;
Then, climb into
Chilled sheets 'neath
Heavy blankets purposed.

I could happily wriggle
Until I made my own heat
Dreams came easy
But I was young
And didn't know yet
About regret
You told me about it
You were chock full
Of failed dreams
Of what your boy
Could have been
If you only knew better
How to teach me.

I still have the same quilt
The comfort you passed on
Is still there
It swaddles a boy
Who lays in his bed each night
I assume he dreams, too.

Aiming to be plain and more conversational in tone. I don't want to write words that people have to look up. Tone is a message to a father who has passed. But the language they shared was simple.

October 8, 2016 at 9:22pm
October 8, 2016 at 9:22pm
I will edit this more, maybe make a static. Thank you Autumn and the muses surrounding me on this night...


I neglected you
Innocence branching in cold dirt
Your green feathers futile
In still darkness
I'd build a fire for you
But I fear
I'm already late
Just like I've thought
A thousand times before
I could have harvested
I could have cultivated better

You stand dreamless
Void in my presence
Frost will be your blanket
Silver crystals eat your organs
Things maggots will yet taste
When your withered stalk,
Limp, silently falls.
Winter will hide my shame
But, I'll know you're there
And, I will know again in spring
When I will try again.
October 8, 2016 at 8:59pm
October 8, 2016 at 8:59pm
Blue Quiet

Somber like chilled rain
clinging to this dull glass,
you won't get inside
where darkness is cast.
Illuminating blue light
is warmth.
No fire can smoke hard enough,
burn as bright
as the rage within.
But quiet now,
the damper open wide,
wild seek refuge near,
use the dead of autumn
to clog my heart.
Here in the dark,
we cloister together alone.
but not so dank
I can't draw breath.
Lungs oscillate,
let me know time Is eternal.
For now,
squirm to find dry room
in these rags.
Squat and blink
at satellites searing
a velvet vault.
Dreams slowly steep
the drowsy head,
a canvas of unfiltered vision.
October 6, 2016 at 8:45pm
October 6, 2016 at 8:45pm
I'm reminded how impactful one line in a song can be, especially when it reaches out to you as the last crescendo is dying. One song, Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody,' comes to mind. "Hit me where the wind blows," comes low and soft, almost inaudibly. I feel poetry can similarly capture that magic.

The poem I just penned attempts to encapsulate the purpose and tone of the narration...

When Autumn Comes  (13+)
Associating death with the season and the loss of love that will never return.
#2098393 by Mr. October

I used italic for the final line like Freddie Mercury modulated his voice to inflict feeling to give pause.

Happy National Poetry Day

October 6, 2016 at 11:31am
October 6, 2016 at 11:31am
I discovered in newsfeed from another writer that it's National Poetry Day. Ironically I tweeted something about poetry on Twitter 10 minutes prior to learning this.


Since I'm at work with little free time, I am contemplating finding time to challenge myself to write 10 poems today, hoping one will be meaningful.

September 21, 2016 at 5:34pm
September 21, 2016 at 5:34pm
⚠️ Under Construction ⚠️
September 17, 2016 at 11:47pm
September 17, 2016 at 11:47pm

I don't know where the lyric should begin
Jump right in?
Forsake perfection?
What if I don't know how
The song should end?

What if I'm off key?
Too many questions from one
Whose squandered opportunity
I see you turn away
I need your eyes

I don't know how the lyric should start
With you in my heart
I want you near
I want you to hear
Trouble finding this beauty within

Is this the day?
Are the words I long to speak
On the way?
As my voice trails off
Need to think some more


I don't know why the lyric should end
Dreams so close to touch
If I could see the stars
And me in your misty eyes
Are they for me, because I...?


You take your seat
I'll stake mine, hold your hand
Try to find what's in my heart
This very last time.
The music rises, curtains up.

You can see...
He sets the bar too high:

September 17, 2016 at 8:19pm
September 17, 2016 at 8:19pm

"Lovely Day"
Bill Withers

When I wake up in the morning, love
And the sunlight hurts my eyes
And something without warning, love
Bears heavy on my mind

Then I look at you
And the world's alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it's gonna be
A lovely day
... lovely day, lovely day, lovely day ...

When the day that lies ahead of me
Seems impossible to face
When someone else instead of me
Always seems to know the way

Then I look at you
And the world's alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it's gonna be
A lovely day.....

When the day that lies ahead of me
Seems impossible to face
When someone else instead of me
Always seems to know the way

Then I look at you
And the world's alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it's gonna be
A lovely day......

186 Entries · *Magnify*
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Printed from http://www.Writing.Com/view/1300042