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My thoughts released; a mind set free |
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These pages contain my thoughts, from meandering ideas and persuasions to deep cerebrations and serious mentations. Why, for what purpose? To release my mind and set creativity free. Somewhere inside the constraints of my mind dwells a writer, a poet, an artist who paints with words. In here I release those constraints and set the artist free. Perhaps, lost somewhere in the depths of thought, is a story or a poem, waiting to be written. |
| Once again I missed a day, yesterday. Friday is now my twelve hour day, and I ended up working the full shift. But, it worked out nice for today. I was scheduled to work from ten until five this afternoon, but one of the new guards wanted some extra training and asked if he could work some of the double coverage this weekend. Sunday was out, but he wanted to work this afternoon and Monday afternoon. It gave me a chance to open this morning and be done by eleven, and the same for Monday. It also meant Rhonda didn't have to go in early and open, a plus for her, too. He didn't even realize he was giving me a half a day off for my birthday, but that's just what he did. Because of the long, and busy day yesterday, I ended up going to bed pretty early, and I slept all night for a change. I could have done with a few more hours of sleep, but I feel pretty good today, am not too tired, and am enjoying the afternoon. Even so, I'm trying to get a few things done, like uninstalling MS Office 365 and re-installing it, in hopes it will work right this time around. I'm also spending a little time with my birthday present, a new Kindle Fire. I also wrote for my journal at work this morning, bright and early before it became so busy, so I'll have to add that part to my post. I don't have access to the internet at work, so I just write in my word proccessor and then copy and paste once I'm home. once i finish up here, it's more time with the Kindle, then off to pick up Rhonda and out for dinner. She said I have to pick where I want to go, so I'm going to look at a few places we have not tried yet. XX Entry From This Morning XX |
| Not that I know for sure, but I suspect I won't have time later to write my journal entry. I base this on previous experience, and just knowing who things go. See, it's just going on noon here, and I have the rest of the afternoon and early evening to do what ever I please. What I plan is taking my wife, Rhonda, and our two dogs, Hyko and Hannah, on a picnic. We made some potato salad for this yesterday, and today we will stop by my step-daughters and visit for a little while, seeing her newborn twins. Then, it's a stop at County Fair Foods for something to drink and dessert before heading over to the diner that will provide us with our broasted chicken. Once we have picked up all the goodies, we will head west, to a state park on the James River, enjoy a peaceful afternoon of hiking along the river, and dining. It will also give us a great opportunity to check out the camping sites and determine if we want to spend a few days camping here. We have fished along the James, but further to the south. It's a nice spot, but limited access for fishing, and with the higher waters, not as productive as it had been. This campground may just provide us with another fishing area along the James as well as a camping area. That just may be our next outing, a couple of days in a tent, along the banks of the James, enjoying the beauty of nature, fishing, and hopefully dining on our catch. Unfortunately, we will have to rely solely on our camp-stove because there is a burn restriction in place there, do to the very dry conditions. If we do camp out there, I will have to investigate further the use of our fire-ring. It is a bowl shaped container with legs, and a screen mesh that fits on top. Since it's enclosed, it may be permitted even with the ban. For now, we don't need a fire, just a place to sit down and enjoy the food and the beauty of nature around us. |
| Gosh, I didn't make an entry yesterday. Darn it anyway! Alright, enough of the gosh's and darn-its. It isn't that bad. After all, I had the day off and just put in a full day, not leaving time for a journal entry. I could have made time; pulling myself away from other activities, but no, I didn't want to. I started my day off with a nice sleep in. I was up numerous times throughout the night having to get up out of bed and walk cramps off. I don't know why my legs insisted on cramping so badly, but they did. I seem prone to leg cramps, but have been doing pretty good. I know too much sodium is a factor, so I try and limit how much salt I ingest. Also, water is a contributing factor, a big on. Here I don't always do so well. Of course, lately we have been so busy and limited on time, I have not done well with limited salts, either. It's difficult to cut back on sodium when eating out and grabbing fast foods. Also, being cold and wet outside, I have not had a desire for water, but instead have been drinking more coffee again. Recently, however, I have again curbed my sodium intake, cut back on coffee and have been trying to drink more water. That's why I was surprised to have my legs cramping through the night. I must have been up a half dozen times as a result, and did not sleep very well at all. But it did feel good to sleep in, and I was fairly rested through the day. It was decided that we should cut the grass right off, since it was cut a little long the week before, and with all the rain, it has grown fast. So we spent the better part of the day mowing and cleaning up around the yard. Once that was accomplished, we set down and took a nice break on the patio. I started a fire, and we sat and enjoyed it. It was a two-fold fire, one part was to sit and enjoy, relaxing and unwinding. the other part was to get rid of all the sticks we had picked up. By we, I mean Rhonda, except for a few that I grabbed after we finished mowing. It would have been perfect, except the neighbors dogs kept barking. They put them out about noon, and they bark constantly through the day. We have tried talking to them about things before, but they run inside and won't even come to the door to talk. The dogs run and get into garbage, bark, and are a general nuisance. to top it off, they went from one little dog, to a little dog and a big dog, then the little one must have died, but they replaced it with a German Sheppard, and recently added a black lab to the mix. Of course, they are the worst possible neighbors anyway, never a considerate thought for anyone else in the neighborhood, trash blows into everyone yard, and just general inconsideration of others. After four hours of listening to the dogs yapping and barking, we finally decided to call the sheriff and see if he couldn't get them to hush up the dogs. He did, for a while. As soon as I seen his vehicle exit town, she put the dogs back out and it started all over. But, eventually she brought them in for the night and it was quiet. Well, except for the birds. The Robins were making a heck of a ruckus for a while. We have an owl in the area, and they go ballistic when it settles into a local tree. But, we did not see the predator last night, although I heard him several times. The afternoon before he settled into a high branch in the back yard, and it was a sight to see the Robins harass him as they cried out for him to vacate their nesting area. We enjoyed the show, Mr. Owl, or Mrs. I'm not sure, did not seem to mind at all. The only thing that chased the owl away was Rhonda trying to take a picture. With darkness came peace and quiet, just the occasional distant sound of an animal, or fowl. It was a cold night, but the wind was out of the north, blocked in part by the house and very mild anyway. The fire was hot, and it felt good, as we relaxed and savored the quiet of the night along with the flickering flames and the sweet smell of birch on the fire. It was this peaceful escape that kept me from writing in my journal, but only by my own choice. With it being another beautiful evening, and the neighbors gone, it will be an even more relaxing evening to enjoy the backyard, the patio, the fire, and another journey into that blissful escape of a fire. We do not have to get up early again tomorrow, and knowing how difficult it would be to pull myself free, I am writing this now, before venturing back out to enjoy the rest of the evening. |
| Glad I did this different today. If I hadn't I wouldn't have had much time to write, again. But, today I did some writing for my journal at work, in Word, saved it, and now can just copy it over. It wasn't as long a day as the past three, but I had a lot to do from home, and worked on that until it was time to go get Rhonda. I wish I could say i have it all done, but I'm so far behind my shadow just lapped me. I'll get it caught up, but in the meantime, here's my entry from this morning: Monday I’m trying something new today, I’m writing this at work, on my little netbook. The biggest problem is the keyboard is kind of small and it’s difficult to hit the right keys. Of course, practice will correct that problem. The other problem is interruptions. Of course that’s to be expected since I’m at work. But, mornings tend to be pretty slow and it gives me time to get some work done. In fact, I just finished some work, and am now clear to spend some time for my personal writing. I had most of this work done, but still needed to print out. I tried to last night, but being tired was making it difficult. On top of being so tired, nothing seemed to work right. Of course it didn’t take long this morning to figure out what was wrong. Last night, however, I couldn’t figure out anything, being so tired. It’s frustrating, to say the least. Things need ot be done, but once a person crosses that line between being functional and being exhausted, things just won’t work. At least that’s how it works for me. I don’t have much to write about, having been at work for the last four days, and spending most of those days working. I've done long shifts since Friday spending over twelve hours either at work, or waiting to go home. We are currently down to one vehicle, so I drive in, Rhonda rides with and goes back home. Then she comes in for her afternoon shift, which overlaps with mine. We get done about the same time, unless it’s slow, then I get to clock out a bit early. But, since we are riding together, and it’s too late for me to drive home; I’d have to turn around and come right back, I wait for her to finish and then we drive home together. I spend pull up to Target and hook into their free Wi-Fi and try and get some work done, but I usually am so tired I don’t accomplish much. Then I pick Rhonda up and we do a little shopping, if needed. Once we are done, we go home, make dinner, eat and sleep. Once we get caught up on things, we can cut out the shopping after work. That will get us home about an hour earlier. Why is it, a quick stop to the store will ultimately result in one hour? Anyway, having everything on hand would make it nice, and our plan is to have a lite meal after work, instead of trying to cook and eat a full dinner that late. It’s not late, around seven when we eat, but since I get up at three in the morning, seven-thirty or eight is our bedtime. Eating late means not sleeping sound, resulting in being tired. That means we take short cuts and put things off, resulting in more of the same. Kind of a cycle we want to break. Now that we are actually getting some time off, we should be able to do some proper shopping, have items on hand, and pick up specific items for our light dinner on the nights we need to get to bed early. Once we get that fixed, and are in bed by eight, I won’t be so tired, and can get more done while waiting after work. Of course, one of the things we have been putting off is working on the Jimmy and getting it back on the road. Once we get that running again, I won’t have to wait for Rhonda, I’ll be free to drive myself home as soon as I am done. Also, if we do need to pick something up, I can stop on my way home, leaving Rhonda free to drive right home. This means we eat earlier and can be in bed on time. It’s interesting how quickly things start to pile up when a person is working seven days a week and has no time for anything other than work. But, once things start to fall into place, it takes forever to get back out from under it all. I’d say the only good thing is we are earning more money. We are putting in about ten hours more a week, so it’s not a lot more money, but the checks are nicer. Unfortunately, we are putting most of it into gas. What we don’t spend extra on gas seems to get used up buying foods we shouldn’t be buying, but they are fast and convenient with our lack of time. So, in the end, we probably break even or end up with a little less spending power. Now, it’s getting to the point where it’s going to start getting busy here, so I should save and close. I’ll paste this into my journal later and have a little more time to do other things in here. |
| Glad I did this different today. If I hadn't I wouldn't have had much time to write, again. But, today I did some writing for my journal at work, in Word, saved it, and now can just copy it over. It wasn't as long a day as the past three, but I had a lot to do from home, and worked on that until it was time to go get Rhonda. I wish I could say i have it all done, but I'm so far behind my shadow just lapped me. I'll get it caught up, but in the meantime, here's my entry from this morning: Monday, 4/20/15 I was going to add a little more to my journal entry but couldn’t get logged into Writing.com. I was also enjoying a nice chat when things went down, so I was unable to say goodnight to her. Hopefully I can get this posted relatively soon, since I will be headed for dreamland shortly. In anticipation of the site being back online… “Goodnight, Shelly, may your dreams be pleasant.” Someone just mentioned that the asparagus was up and they had already picked some. We also have an asparagus patch in the yard, and I was meaning to go clean it up and pick some as well, but forgot all about it. While chatting, Shelly mentioned sautéed asparagus and I was reminded to go pick some. But, when I dug through the overgrowth to see what was beneath, I didn’t find anything; ours is not up yet. This may be a good thing, with the weather we have. In checking the forecast, I see we are going to be below freezing the next few nights. I won’t have to worry about frost, since it’s not up yet. Also, I was going to clean the area up, but I think I’ll wait another week. All that cover is protecting the ground from frost and snow, and it may be too early to clear it away. No asparagus for dinner tonight, but soon, very soon Now, it’s a quick dinner, then off to bed for me. Rhonda won’t be home until after eleven, and I know the dogs will wake me. I’ll get up and visit with her for a little while, until she is ready to come to bed, then get a few more hours of sleep, before getting up for work again. Luckily, it will be a very short day for me. On the down side, I have so much work to get caught up on I will have the rest of the morning and the afternoon used up. But, I want to get this stuff done before my day off. |
| Not much time again, weekends are like that. I just cruised over from Facebook, where I ween a post declaring the poster ran out of weekend. I'm damn glad I did, I don't think I could take much more of it. Of course, it wasn't very busy today, but still a long day. Yesterday was nuts, that's the only way to describe it. Today was kind of cold, very wet, and now we add wind. It's blowing twenty to thirty, but gusting up to fifty. The only good part of it is it may just blow the stormy weather right on out of here. Not that it matters, rain or shine, I make the most of what I'm given. I do get to feeling more run down with the gloomy weather, but other than that, I don't mind. Besides, once the sun breaks through and the temperature climbs, it's going to be so muggy a person can't move without sweating. I'm kind of wishing our dry spell had stuck around. Anyway, not much to write tonight, just tired and ready to vegetate. |
| It's late so this will be a short entry. I had a long day, up at three and worked until five this afternoon, then a little shopping for a coffee pot before coming home. Ours quit this morning, with just under a half a pot brewed. Luckily we have a peculator pot we use for camping, and made coffee in that. Our waters very hard, and that makes it very hard on the drip coffeemakers. So, we just get cheaper models, but we do have to have a timer on ours. Getting up that early is a pain, but it would be even worse if we had to get up another half hour early to make coffee. Instead, we make it the night before, set the timer, and then get up to fresh brewed java. Things were a little rushed this morning as a result of the coffeemaker going out, but it will be good enough again tomorrow, now that we have a new one. Tomorrow will be nicer anyway, since I get to sleep in till five, and will be done by mid afternoon. Of course, I have some work I need to get done that I can only do at home, so I will actually have to work later, just not on site. Starting late tomorrow means I won't have much for time tomorrow morning, at work. Most mornings I'm there early, and it's pretty slow. So, now that they changed the rules, I can do some of the work I used to have to do from home in the mornings. Also, I can now do an entry right away in the morning, too. I can't log in here to do it, no wifi at work, but I can use my word processor and write a bit. |
| These twelve hour days just do me in. It's nice, I get a full week's wage and only work four days, but they really are tough. Of course, I would handle them better if I was feeling better. I'm not sure what kind of damage I did to my abdomen, but it's slow healing and Rhonda gives me until Monday, if no improvement, she said I have to go see a doctor. Other than a long day, and being totally beat, not much else for the day. I did get some paperwork done this morning at work, just need to print it off and laminate it, but I'm too tired. Besides, we stopped and did a little shopping after work, and it set us back another hour, an hour I didn't have to begin with. So, for tonight, it's head off to bed shortly, and hopefully tomorrow I can get the rest done. |
| I was doing so well, logging in and making an entry in here, daily. Even with little time, overworked and tired, I managed to make entries through the month, but yesterday I missed. It seems not a month goes by that I don't miss a day or more. But, for the first time in a long time, it wasn't work related. I had three days off work this week, but had to spend the first half of the first day off advising and consulting a new guard. I could have just left him on his own, he's trained and tested, but eight hours of training and cramming for the test isn't enough to get a person ready to work alone. So, I have made it a habit of mine to go in and advise and consult them for their first shift. It's usually a shorter shift, and I always explain that I am not on the clock, not getting paid, and can't help out since I'm not covered under workers compensation. I also add, that as soon as they feel comfortable enough, they can let me know and I'll go home and enjoy the rest of my day. Not one ever has let me leave before they are done with that first shift. But, I don't mind, it's a bit of a hassle for sure, but a small investment to make. And, if they can then work solo, it means I have less work and more time off. Tuesday, it ran over, and I ended up assisting the second person for a while, too. It was just one of them things, and by the time I finally got home, the day was half over, I was plenty tired, and in dire need of a nap. After I woke, it was a relaxing evening, a fire, and some time with Rhonda. Wednesday then, was my first actual day off with no work. Again, i was able to share it with Rhonda, and we enjoyed the day. But, we had a lot of work around here to catch up on; the lawn was up at the top. Our grass was a foot or more tall in most places, and it needed to be mowed down. With rain forecast for today, it only made sense to cut the grass yesterday. Day off or not, it needed to be done. So, we enjoyed a nice morning, sleeping in some, coffee, and just relaxing. Then, it was a trip into town to pick up a new blade for the rider. I ended up getting two blades, one for bagging and one for mulching. Then, since it was a day off and our first day off together in months, I took my beloved out for brunch. Once home, we serviced the mowers and put a new blade on the rider. Then we set out to cut down the overgrowth we called a lawn. I knew it would be slow going, being so tall, but it actually went pretty good. The new blade made quite a difference. Being sharp was a big part of this, but being a mulching blade also helped it clear through the tall overgrown lawn. It also prevented that terrible clumping that takes place when the grass is so tall it plugs the mower. Three hours of mowing did the trick, not a lot longer than normal. Of course, I believe the new blade will speed up the normal mowing time, too. That's alright with me. I don't mind mowing, but I do have plenty of other things I can utilize that time for. By the time I got off the rider, and we did take a couple of breaks, I was in sorry shape. My recent accident had me in pretty rough shape, and all the jostling and bouncing over this rough yard did a number on me. By the time I finished, I was moving pretty slow, and the stiffness was settling in fast. We relaxed on the patio for a while, then moved in to the house and got ready to shower. The lawn is composed of half grass and half assorted weeds, or possibly more. Being tall made the effects worse, and mowing with sustained winds in the thirties and gusting into the forties had us both full of debris and feeling the results of allergic reactions. Nothing serious, just dirt and dust in our eyes and nose, itchy skin and lots of sniffling. So a shower was in order. it was during my shower that I first began to notice the ill effects of sitting on the rider for three hours and bouncing my still healing body. I began to get a severe headache which soon combined with dizziness and a sick to my stomach feeling. Luckily, Rhonda had gotten in the shower with me and was now able to help me finish washing. I had become just unstable enough to risk falling without holding on to something. She helped me finish up, dry off, and get sat down, then finished her shower and checked on me. I was doing alright, but not going anyplace; still dizzy, still sick, and still suffering a severe headache. I sipped on water and after a while the sickness subsided. But, in it's absence, I found my body ached in all the areas that had been injured by my fall. I had overdone it, and was now hurting bad. The headache, however, was the worst of it. It stemmed from my neck and shoulders being strained, and now, restrained from all that mowing. Also, my bruised abdomen, both inside and out, had taken a lot of shaking up, which accounted for the sick feeling. Second to the headache was y two broken toes. The bouncing and use of them on the rider had them hurting worse than they did when I first broke them. A light dinner helped out some, as did sipping water and settling back on the love-seat. Some over the counter pain medication helped ease the headache a little but not much. It continued into the night, and was still present this morning when I got up around sunrise. I took some more over the counter medication and returned to bed, waking later this morning with just a slight ache left over from yesterday. That's why I didn't write yesterday, not just time, although that was a factor, but the pain and misery I was in just didn't allow for any thought or activity. I did enjoy our run into town, and brunch with my wonderful wife was the highlight of the day. It was also great to get the grass all mowed down, although I could have done without the rest. But, it needed doing, and time was limited. We finished about an hour before it began to drizzle out a bit, and shortly after dinner, it was raining. Today has been a wet and rainy day all day; no way we could have done any yard work today. I do know that I will have to restrict myself next week when we mow again, and with the rain, it will need it within the week. But, it will go faster next time, and I know I have to give myself more time to heal before I push myself like that again. I'll set a limit and mow for a half hour, then take a break and relax for a bit. Then, I'll go for another round, continuing like this until the work is done. I'll also be more likely to get my journal entry done, either during a break, or after I finish, as I had intended this last time. If I had felt better, I would have written after my shower, after all. |
| It's kind of late for me getting in here again. Of course, that's been more normal than getting in early, but today it was for a different reason. Normally I'm late because I work all the damn time. Today I finally had a day off; the new guard we hired and trained yesterday will work three of my morning shifts so I can take a few days off each week. Trained on Monday, and in to open this morning, only we don't train for opening, and there is so much information packed in that eight hour training session, it's intimidating. So for my first day off, I went in to work, off the clock because it is a day off, but still at work to go through the opening with him. Also, I have since I took the position of supervisor, stayed on site for a new guards first shift. I tell them it's their shift, I'm just there to consult as needed, and as soon as they feel comfortable, I'll go home. Of course, they all want me to stay for the entire shift, and it's a nice way to get to know them a bit, since I seldom see them unless our shifts are in sequence or there's a problem. Today it would have been until ten this morning, but the guard scheduled to come in became confused and thought he was scheduled at eleven. This is do to the constant flux we have had in the schedule this spring, and I'm surprised it hasn't happened more. But he did make it in by ten-thirty, after I called him. Just as he came on duty, a messed up return came into the yard, and I knew it was going to be a mess, especially for a new guard, so I took care of that. By then another messed up order came in, that was scheduled to be delivered. A good chance to train on this, so I stayed. It turned out to be a little after noon by the time I finally got out of there. Noon. Still plenty of time to get logged in and write in here, so why so late? Well, I did make a short stop to pick up a few things before coming home. Then, once I was home, I was in dire need of nutrients, so Rhonda and I had lunch. Our shifts prevent this most of the time, and being so over worked, it's been seldom to rare that we have had a day to share lunch together. After, she was tired and wanted a nap. She worked a very long shift yesterday so I could take it easy and heal a bit. Of course, I kind of undid all that good this morning, but that seems to be the way things go. Anyway, she didn't get off work until almost eleven last night, and by the time we got home, I gave her a ride, it was pushing midnight. Again, we grabbed a bite to eat before bed, finally getting to sleep around twelve-thirty or one this morning. So she was tired, even though she went back to bed for a while this morning after I left to go in and advise and sit with the new guard. Just a lot of hours and little sleep, so a nap was in order. I had been going on two hours of sleep last night, so I was more than ready to get a few more hours of sleep myself. We got up about four, or four-thirty for me, and then it was a cup of coffee on the patio to wake up a bit. It's nice out, but a little cool, with rain and south winds in the forecast, so it was looking like the only chance to have a fire for the week. We sat and watched the flames, sipped on Pepsi after our coffee and enjoyed a nice, aromatic fire, having some birch we purchased a few days back. That's why I'm late getting in here, I was enjoying a fire, the wonderful company of my beautiful wife, and just relaxing for a while. It's been a long time, and it was the best afternoon we have shared in months. Now, it's time for dinner, or actually, past time for dinner. being late, it will be something light and quick. Then, a little Mash on Netflix or maybe we will watch an hour of "The Winds of War" tonight before turning in. |
| I'm glad I wrote in here when I did yesterday, I didn't get much of a chance after I returned home. I had an easy day, and since it was slow at work, didn't even have to clock in. But, my wife, Rhonda did have to work, and a long shift, too. I would have switched out with her, but I knew she wouldn't let me. Mother's Day or not she wasn't about to let me do anymore than I had too. I was able to work this morning, but I'm off the clock now. Rhonda came in early to do some training with a new hire, and I got to clock out early, again. Pretty spoiled I reckon. Actually, it's a result of my fall the other day, and having a lot of bruising as well as two confirmed broken toes. Being off the clock means I can go home early, but not until after we get all the paperwork done on the new guy. Once that's done, I have to fax it to the office, then I can head home. So, for the time being, I'm just hanging out with the two dogs, in the van. The weather is cold and wet, so it's not a problem to bring them in, and they love to come with so much. Speaking of weather, we had some nasty stuff come through yesterday. It was a cold, wet day from the start, but by afternoon, sever storms began to form all over the eastern side of the state. It was kind of interesting to see the warnings for flash flooding, hail, lightning, strong winds, and tornadoes on this side of the state, while the western half was under blizzard warnings. That's right the state splits east and west along the Missouri River, and this line also determined who was getting severe spring storms and who was under severe winter storms. We came out fine, no serious damage in our hometown or in the town we work in. A lot of rain and some wind, but nothing damaging. We had a nice dinner and went home. Sometime during g the night, there must have been a pretty good storm move through the area, it knocked out some power and raised havoc on the computers at work. If it went over us, I slept right through it, and Rhonda must have, too, she didn't say anything. More of the same today, cold, rainy, with storms developing all over this side of the state. So far it's been drizzling and light rain, some wind at times, but nothing more. It can stay that way, too. I don't mind watching a good storm, but I don't like to see people suffer damage as a result. Also, the farmers just got done planting, and any severe weather is going to really mess things up for them. XXX Update Wouldn't you know, the phone had to ring just as I finished the paperwork and was just getting ready to head home for the rest of the day; my works done except to give Rhonda a ride home later this afternoon. the guy who works tonight called in, said he had a family emergency, and can't work tonight. So, up at three this morning, home by one this afternoon, and back in to close up tonight. This is going to be one long day. I had a light lunch, and now I'm going to try and grab a couple hours of sleep before I go back in for another stretch. It's cold, it's wet, and I have a long night ahead of me... XXX Update II Our new trainee passed with flying colors. Rhonda sent a text, then called when she went on break, the new guy is doing great. She was going to have him stay a little later tonight than what he was scheduled, but she told me he was pretty tired looking. Not so much physical work, but a lot of mental work for him today. Even so, she informed me he is doing terrific, and thinks he will work out great. She also told me to stay home until it's time to go get her. What a great woman. She knows I'm not feeling very well yet, suffering quite a lot of pain after my fall. She also knows that it would be kind of a waste for me to go in and relieve her, adding yet another trip of fifty miles to our day. She stated that she wouldn't likely waste the gas to drive home anyway. I'll get up and go in tomorrow morning, so she can sleep in. Also, she is scheduled to have the day off, unless the guy that called in today calls in again tomorrow. He did tell me that he would be in tomorrow, and I'll assume he will, based on that. So, I have some time now. I had put a ham in the oven a little while ago, timing it so it would be done when Rhonda got home. Instead, I'll lower the heat and slow cook it until we both get home later tonight. Nothing fancy, just a hot ham sandwich while we relax for a half hour or so before going to bed. I'm going to be one tuckered pup tomorrow, but then should have plenty of time to get a nap in after I get home, and then the afternoon and evening with Rhonda. Also, since I won't be working tomorrow, just there to answer questions and provide a little on the job training, it shouldn't be real bad. Also, when we have two people on, it tends to go by faster. Tuckered, yes, but not as exhausted as I have been many times lately. |
| Not much time this morning, but enough to get a short entry started. I normally would be at work on Sunday morning, but there was a change to the schedule, and I won't have to go in until noon. Of course, it's about time to get ready and go if I'm to be there by noon. I talked to Rhonda, and it's a slow day, so I may not even be needed. Even so, I want to have lunch with her, and then after work, I'm planning on taking her out to dinner. After all, it's Mother's Day, and she is the fines mom I know. If I would have known years ago, I would have went and found her and changed the course of history for both of us. I know, things work according to a greater plan. That's the fiction writer in me, I reckon, always looking at things from a fantasy viewpoint. Anyway, no time to write more now, I have to go have lunch with a beautiful lady. Of course, since it's at work, it will be strictly professional. But after work, well lets just say it will be a much more enjoyable dinner, even if we are both still in our work uniforms.  Oh, and one last thing before I go... Happy Mother's Day to all the moms on Writing.Com  I have a few minutes before Rhonda is done with work, so I thought I would add a little more in here. I'm sitting in the van, beside Target, typing on my little netbook, so this is not a fast entry, by any means. I came in to supply double coverage, but it was not needed today. Even so, I had a nice lunch with my wife, who shouldn't have to work on Mother's Day. But, if the new hire does not work out, it's needed to keep my hours down. Also, because of my recent accident and injuries, I'm not in the best condition for working. I would, but she wouldn't let me if I had tried. That's the kind of wonderful person she is, and I'm very lucky to have her in my life. She even talked about assisting me tomorrow morning, if needed. I think I can manage, but she will be there to help anyway. The only part of my work day I'm not sure of is opening the overhead doors. I should be alright, but I just don't know if my abdomen will handle the strain of lifting those heavy doors. One more day, and then some time off, I hope. Also, I coninced her to give me through Monday to see how well I'm healing from my injuries. If they are still causing problems tomorrow, I will be seeking medical attention, and likely be out of work for a while. I believe I'm healing, and should be fine. Even so, it's going to be a while before this deep bruising is gone and I can function at a normal level again. As for the broken toes, again, if I can manage them, I will, but if they don't heal, I'll have to go in and have them reset... Ouch! Now, it's time to take a very beautiful lady out to dinner. "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." |
| I have a few minutes, so I thought I would get in here and make an entry, just in case I don't make it back in later. Normally I would be at work right now, but Rhonda switched out with me. She's doing the twelve hour shift and I'm going in to provide double coverage, if needed. If not, I'll try and get some of my other work done. It was nice not working a long shift today, after my little mishap. I'm pretty stiff and sore, and it would have been hell to work twelve hours today. Tomorrow and Monday I'm only scheduled for nine hours, and if it's slow, may not have to work that long either day. Also on Monday, we start a new person, and I'm hoping he works out. It will mean a nice break from this six and seven day work week, time off with Rhonda, and more time to get in here and do some editing and writing. Also, the company that hires our service has changed the no electronics at work policy, so I can now use my phone and a tablet at work. I don't have a tablet, but I do have a netbook that I can do most of my work on. The policy states the general manager can make exceptions, and he said it was alright to use my netbook on site. I spent the morning setting it up, transferring files, and getting it ready to be a work station. Now, I can do most of my off site activities on site. I guess that means I can't call them off site anymore, however. I won't have internet access, or the ability to print or scan anything from work, but I can save to the drive and do all that later. This should reduce the amount of time I now spend working off site and from home by about 75%, maybe even more. Once again, things are looking up. Now, if the new hire works out... |
| Good news and bad news. The good news is I gave a young fella an interview today, and it's looking like he may be just what we're looking for. With the situation as it is, and no other candidates, this is real good news. He will start training on Monday, and hopefully things will work out. The bad news isn't about work, it's about a little mishap last night. We put a piece of plywood in the doorway to contain the dogs, so they don't run up and down the stairs all night and keep us up. It's about three foot high, and works pretty well. It's not attached, just set up against the frame to hold it in place. Sometime last night, caught in a dream of the phone ringing and the answering machine picking up, I half woke with a jump and exited the room at a fast pace. Only in my half sleep state, I did not move the piece of wood. I impacted hard enough to topple me right onto it, then forward onto the floor as the wood gave way under my weight. I'm bruise in more places than I can count, especially the abdomen. I may also have broken a few toes, and seem to have multiple strains and sprains. Being so sore, it's difficult to sit up like this for any amount of time, and with all the bruises and sprains, it's kind of difficult to type, too. So, for the next few days, I'll likely be doing some short entries. Seeing as to how I'm working some long days for the next three days, I'm not going to have much time to write anyway, so I guess it's a balance. |
| As I have mentioned before, things were finally looking up for some time off and easier hours at work, but the night before our first day off in months, the guy sent a text stating he quit. I ran in and covered for him while Rhonda took the day off, kind of. She didn't have to come in and work, but she did drop me off, call another guard to come in earlier, and then came back to pick me up when I got done. Today, she worked the opening shift so I could get a day off. I also drove her in to work and went back to pick her up. I was going to spend the morning getting a bunch of stuff done for work, but I was so tired I couldn't focus. So, I spent the morning sleeping. Then, after I got up, I went and got Rhonda. We did a few minutes of shopping before we came home, picking up some items for dinner. Once we got home, she wanted to take a nap. I snuggled her and tucked her in, and the next thing I know, it's one-thirty. Yes, I fell back to sleep. I guess I needed the sleep, and I do feel better, but so much for getting anything done for work. Oh well, it will still be here tomorrow. For now, I'm going to spend the rest of the afternoon with my wife, make a nice dinner, and then relax for a little while before bed. |
| Okay, first of all, up until eight-thirty last night, Rhonda and I were off for today and tomorrow. It's been months since we have been able to take even one day off together. We finally got a guy hired who wanted hours, but then he started having some personal problems. I was cooperative and willing to bend in any direction to help him out. Earlier this week, he called, things were getting better, but he could only work two days, and wanted to cut the hours short from what we had originally scheduled him. No problem, I informed him. Since he has been out for a while, I told him I would get up early and meet him at work this morning, do a review of things, fill him in on some policy changes, and we could talk about a workable schedule for him. Everything was set, and yesterday, early afternoon, I called to reconfirm things. He didn't answer his phone, so I just left a message in voice mail for him to give me a call and let me know how things were going. Nothing, so I assumed he was still going to work today and tomorrow. I got up early and prepared to drive in to talk to him, then return home so Rhonda and I could enjoy our first of two days off. I seen a missed message on my work phone so I checked it. Eight-thirty last night he sent a text, "I quit." No explanation, no call, nothing but a short text stating he quit. He turned in his gear last night at the store shortly after he sent the text. What? After all the trouble and bending over backwards trying to make things easy for him during this difficult time and he cannot even call me and tell me what's up? Seriously, I quit by text? I tried to call him to see what was up, but as soon as he knew who was calling he hung up and has not returned my call. Luckily I was up and ready to go in, or it would have been a big problem. So much for a day off, and now it's back to looking for someone to hire, again. I just don't get it -- what changed? So, I did not have a day off, did not get anything I was planning on taken care of, and now have a ton of work to add to my already overloaded pile. XXX Okay, I got a chance to vent earlier, and from there I didn't do a damn bit of work. Well, not for the job and the company. Tomorrow I'll be writing a letter to Mr. Vice President of said company and asking why I have not been compensated for my hard work in three years, why they expect as much as they do for the pay the give, and I will also ask him a couple of questions about how I'm suppose to get any down time if I need to keep my phone turned on twenty-four-seven. I hope he has some good answers, or my next correspondence will be for someone to come and take over this mess, I'm burned out and about to resign. They have to allow a guy to shut off his phone in the evenings, on his days off, and not have to be responsible for covering for everything under the sun, not for the pay rate I get. But enough on that! I just renamed this blog/journal, and I just started an attempt to talk about something other than work. But, the way things are right now, I do not have a life outside of work. I no more than started getting into a little creativity, and all hell broke lose -- again! What else do I have to write about? Well let see, I work. When I'm not at work, or working from home, I'm sleeping or vegetating in Netflix, half asleep. That's about it, except for trying to hold things together around the house, but even that's slipping further and further behind. Nope, this is going to stop; one way or the other. I'm going to reclaim my life; no matter what it takes, I'm going to have a life outside of work very soon. |
| Things are looking pretty good for the rest of the week, but it's been tough getting here. Today was a nice change, I was done work after five hours, and had a nice, slow day at work. After the last couple of days, I was feeling exhausted and needed to catch up on some rest, so after I ate a sandwich for lunch, I took me an un-alarmed nap. I anticipated sleeping for an hour, maybe a little more, but instead woke after three hours of deep sleep, feeling a lot better. It's interesting how things change a person's outlook. For example, I've gotten to the point that anxiety attacks me when the phone rings. Over the last two years, it's been the main source of my time off interrupted, and having to go back into work. Last night we had turned in early, about eight o'clock. This would be our normal bedtime if things worked right, since we get up at three. But, things have been working against us, and we have been getting to bed around nine, ten, and even a little later. Last night, things worked well for us, and we headed off to bed a few minutes after eight. Even though we were both very tired, we took a few minutes to snuggle and cuddle, since we have had so little time to interact in this way for a long time now. I was fighting sleep, holding fast to the moment, and looking forward to a surrender of my will, and letting myself slip into sweet slumber. Then, I heard the phone ringing, and instantly I knew, there would be no days off this week. My heart rate jumped instantly, I felt a wave of panic I had to quickly face and contain, and I knew without a doubt, something had happened at work and we would not be able to take out time off this week, again. I tried to ignore these thoughts, and I tried to persist in staying in bed and not even looking to see if they had left a message. But, I couldn't; I knew sleep would not come until I checked for a message, and knew what it was about. So, I got up, came downstairs, and looked at the phone. The light was flashing, "1 Message". I pressed the play button with dread, to hear an unrecognized voice babbling about what-ever! Just a junk call -- phone spam. It was nothing, and I could relax once again. I poured myself a half a glass of water, went to the bathroom, and then returned to bed. Snuggling up to Rhonda, I tried to fight the thoughts that continued to invade my head -- still one whole day for things to go wrong. Exhaustion took over and I drifted into a bit of troubled sleep. I wasn't awake, but I wasn't fully asleep. Thoughts of what could go wrong continued to assault my semiconscious mind until they created a dream state where I was sleeping in on my first day off with Rhonda in months. The phone was ringing and I could hear the answering machine recording a message that no one had shown up for work to open the yard. My eyes popped open, but even as I opened them, I knew it was all just a dream. I snuggled closer to my wife, who was now deep in sleep. I focused my thoughts to pleasant things and as I pictured in my mind's eye, her and I snuggled together in the evening, a fire crackling in front of us, and the red and purple horizon ablaze in the distance. We didn't talk, we just watched the fiery orb as it was slowly absorbed into the distant line of trees. The sky burned brighter, the colors more vivid as it vanished below the edge of the world, then darkness raced in to fill the void. Shadows grew as darkness surrounded us, held back slightly by the flickering flames. Soon, darkness took over all, and I was deep in sleep myself. I woke once during the night, to use the bathroom. It was pretty early this morning, and I never did go back into a deep sleep, I suppose I had slept my allotted time and my body thought it was time to rise and glow. I have not been able to get nearly enough sleep for a long time, and there has been no rise and shine for just about as long. I manage a glow some mornings, that's about it. I know I slept, because I wasn't awake, but I wasn't lost in sleep, either. I lie there, suspended between wake and sleep for how ever long it was before the alarm went off. I would guess it was a half an hour, but time has no measure in that half wake-sleep state. I was very tired at work, but managed to keep myself alert. A good thing, too. Unbeknownst to me, we were having a security audit by the store we are assigned to. They tried to rip us off, and I nailed them. I've been waiting for one of these secret shop-lifters for a long time. I knew they did this from time to time, but today it was my turn and they tried to slip past me. After he showed his ID, we had a brief talk, then he left and later returned with a security monitor and we had a nice talk. The perfect end to my last day at work before getting two whole days off with Rhonda. It's four in the evening and no calls or changes. But, because of the way things have panned out, I will have to get up early, run into work and go through an opening procedure with the guy who has been missing so much. I also have to update him on a change to phone use policy and then it's back home, and enjoy the day off. Thursday I plan on no alarm and sleeping until I wake. I hope this continues, and we can finally get back to a routine schedule. |
| Another long day, but not as bad as I thought it would be. I clocked out at one this afternoon, but needed to stay on site to talk to the new guard for about an hour. He was scheduled to come in at two, but misunderstood the schedule and came in at one. It worked out, since I was planning on clocking out at one anyway. It also means Rhonda will get to clock out sooner than we expected. That means I get to go home sooner since I'm waiting to give her a ride. It also means we get a little more time together. That's good, because I'm exhausted after yesterday. My day off helped but I need more than one day off. At least two, and they need to be at the same time as Rhonda's. I'm planning on a take-it-easy kind of night, and being in bed early. I have plenty to do, but I'm too tired too do anything without making more work for myself. Besides, tomorrow will be a short day and I want to be rested up enough to enjoy it. There's a trade off, it means I'll have to do some of my work tomorrow. But, if I also take some time to set up work on this computer, I can do a lot of things fro work. Now, it's time to stop fighting sleep, I'm about falling over typing, so time to log off, put my head back, and nap for twenty minutes. Then Rhonda is done and we can go home. |
| That's just not right! I had started my entry here, then got a call and had to run. I saved and closed down my computer, then returned to pick things back up, and there's no entry. It's just not right I tell ya, just not right. I suppose I either didn't have the title in or I just shut down my browser to fast and it didn't get a chance to save. Luckily, I didn't have a lot written. I had expressed my tiredness working a long day today. I was pretty sure it would be a long day, so I brought my netbook in with me. I'm off now, just waiting for Rhonda to finish work because we are riding together for a while. I need to do some work on my Jimmy, but just have not had time t do it. I did get some god news at from work, they are going to let us use our phones and we can have tablets and e-readers at work now. No laptops, but I did ask about this, my netbook. The assistant general manager thinks it will be fine, since it's not much more than a tablet with an attached keyboard. He said he would double check with the general manager, just to make sure. If this is alright, it will save me a lot of time and headaches. Currently, we cannot have our phones, not even the supervisor. So, if something comes up, no one has any way to reach me while at work. Now that has changed, and I can use my phone at work. Even better, since I have to do most of my paperwork on my computer, I end up doing it after I get home. Some of it will still need to be done from home, but if I can have this netbook at work, I can do most of my stuff while at work. The mornings are very slow for the first couple hours, plenty of time for me to get some work done. The guy who's been out for medical reasons called yesterday. It was my day off, but I didn't mind taking a business call from him. His boy is finally doing better and it sounds like he will be able to start picking up some hours again. It sounds like things are finally starting to work for me instead of against me. Now, if they just continue in this direction, I'll actually have some time to do a few things other than work real soon. It's hard not to be excited, yet at the same time, I don't want to set myself up for disappointment, either. |
| Let's see how this goes today. It's nine-thirty on a Saturday and I just got up twenty minutes ago. I was up at quarter to five to see Rhonda off to work, then went back to bed around five-thirty. That's a whole lot of sleep for me, and it's the first time in a long time I arose from bed without the use of an alarm, and feeling refreshed. Today is the first day I have had off since April first, and I have no plans for anything today. I'm not even sure about having the day off. I do have it off, but it's not registering in my head yet. I keep thinking I have to watch the clock, so I can get ready to go in and work in a few hours. That's been the only exception to me working every morning for the last month, a few days I had to fill in at eleven, and one day at ten. Even my last day off is kind of puzzling -- April first. Seriously, my last day off was April Fool's Day. Was that some kind of coincidence? Perhaps the reason is simply fate, and that's how the cards landed. But if that's how this world operates, by fate and by chance, then everything is out of control; chaos. That is an accepted school of thought, that all existence and everything is strictly fate. Darwin's theory of evolution, as well as the big bang theory follow this train of thought. In the beginning there was nothing, then it exploded and evolved into what and where we are today, in time. I don't follow that train of thought at all. I believe in a creator, who through plan and purpose, brought all things into existence. I mean, after all, if there was nothing, and it exploded, there would not be a universe, there would be nothing. If you doubt this, listen to Billy Preston's song, Nothing From Nothing. Sure, the rhythm may be out of your liking, or maybe you find it a catchy tune, but the message is clear, nothing from nothing leaves nothing, and that's the point I wanted to make. Like Billy states, you gotta have something or you got nothing. This means, the chaos theory is out. Don't get me wrong, it does exist, but it's only a secondary system. There is the original and omnipotent plan of God that created and oversees all things, and there is the secondary plan of Satan, the chaos plan that he uses to try and defeat God's perfect plan. That's why there can be chaos in perfection, and why evil exist in good. It also means that while chaos can infiltrate our lives, there is a higher power that we can turn to to set things right once again. This means then, that although something may exist outside of God's plan, He allows it because His plan is perfect and it serves His purpose in the end. Now, back to my question, if April Fool's Day was the last day I had off, is there more to it than chance? Well, it could be that chaos has infiltrated my life and is trying to get me to turn from God's plan, or it could be a hint that only a fool would work this kind of job, with these kind of demands, at the pay rate I'm compensated. What do you think, a fool? Or, is it some evil plot to dissuade me from the path set before me? Perhaps it's a little of both, after all, God has a divine sense of humor and only a fool would let something change the course of their life away from Him and His plan. What do I think? I do not believe in chaos, I believe all things serve a purpose and only by our own choice do we veer away from the path God set for us. That means there's a reason for things being the way they are, and I see how hard it's been for me not only this spring, but for a long time now, for me to pursue my dream to write. Chaos has intervened and does it's best to prevent me from following that path, but I know that in the end, it is my choice and mine alone. I can throw in the towel and say it's just too difficult, it's not meant to be, or I can look at the opposite way, it's meant to be but chaos is trying to prevent me from following that path. How do I find the answer, by meditation and prayer, and by being honest with myself. I have a talent, a gift that was given me. The only reason anyone or anything would try and prevent me from using it would be to try and corrupt my faith and belief in God's plan. The answer then, is my choice. I can become discouraged and lose my faith through this difficult time and become a fool, or I can endure this chaos for the time it takes to run it's course, and be blessed for staying the course. I'm tempted at times to throw in the towel, there's no time to write or do anything. Other times, I'm tempted to give my boss two weeks notice and be done with this job; they do not compensate me even half of what I should get for the job I do. But in the end, I hold to my faith and endure it all, knowing that this chaos in my life will soon end, and my faith will be rewarded. He will compensate me for what's due, but only if I persist in my faith and His plan. If I fail at faith, I let chaos win and then chaos will control my life.... |
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- Platonic, of course. 
Ken
. I am so glad I only had one operation and am clean now. It's been one year ago. I am lucky, I guess. Hopefully, it won't come back.
