Hello Mindy, this is Funnyface and I just read your story called "Her Pain." The title grabed my attention and your plot compelled me to read on. Your ending is perfect and so true. I felt sadness as I read this item as I understand how hurt this girl was/is. People can't really understand how this teasing and bullying tears the heart out of people. I hope she finds some happiness soon. A nice story and I see no errors. Welcome to W.D.C. I am sure you will enjoy it here, and if I can help in any way, just e-mail me.
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Hello my name is Funnyface and I just read your poem "Cinderella". I enjoyed your poem and oh how true it is we do tend to want to put on our fake face when we meet people. I guess the reason we don't show our true colors is because we are afraid of rejection.A nice subject and well written. Welcome to Writing.com. If I can be of any help just e-mal me.
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"The End? Not Yet!" is a wonderful story. I so enjoyed reading it. I like every word of it. It is sad at times yet it captures my heart. I can feel Enda's fear as she was hunting for Nicky. The frustration to realize she had died. The fear and frustration as she watched the men beat her son. You did an excellent job working Wesley into the plot. Simply a lovely story and I didn't notice any errors
Hello hobnobkitkat, I just read your moving poem "From Clouds To Sunshines". I want to tell you first of all I understand how sad you must be by losing your sister, as I have losted two brothers, and time doesn't take away that loneliness that sadness, I am sorry you experienced losing Jenny.I know God will wipe your tears in His own good time and I believe you will be with your sister again. A very emotional poem on a sad subject but you have handled this subject nicely.
I just learned a new type of poetry here "The Archimedes'Pi Form". I have never heard of this type of poetry and am wondering how hard it must be to write one. As I read the words here in yours it seems as if it would be quite easy, yet your words show a wonderful painting of the "Sunset Over Lake Erie" A great job with no mistakes.
What a selfless wish list you have here. I know that now I am getting older I forget half the things I want to buy when I go out and certainly I forget birthdays and anniversay's. To send thank you cards, do the encouragement notes and other things I tend to forget until it is way pass the time. Thank you for reminding me through this poem, that I need a list.No errors found in this delightful poem.
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Title: "with alligators"
Opening: A fitting opening, for this story.
Plot:Your story touches my heart. I hate to think of all the people that suffers from emotional abuse.. I especially don't like it when it is caused by a parent. I feel sorry for the Mother in this story, as she really seems to be the product of abuse herself. I also feel sorry for the young girl which seemed to get the worse of it all.
Closing:A forgiving daughter and one that has a tender heart. A nice job reading this emotional story, and I can offer nothing to improve it.
Thank you for entering the challenge and good luck in the contest.
Title: "Rainbows In The Night"
Opening: A beautiful tribue to your Mother. I know to lose a parent is very hard. I lost mine so I know the pain you felt. I am so sorry for your loss.
Plot:You have expressed your feeling and emotions nicely in this very personal tribue for your Mother.
Closing: I am happy this was read at the funeral. Nice job. There is nothing I can offer to make this stronger.
"Pedro's Boy" is such a sad poem. No parent should ever see one of their children die. My heart reached out to this poor father. A sad subject but a subject that happens way to often in this world. You have done a nice job writing this. I see nothing that could improve this poem.
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A very cute poem. I never thought about a vaccum being emptied by someone maybe a thousand times, but now I think about it, I believe it to be true. I like what you say you vaccum up ..toe nails clipping,yeak.I never tear the bag opened and check what it has in it. I might now, who knows what I might fine. An enjoyable poem. There are no errors in this flawless poem.
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Title: "Receipe To The Holocaust" A unique subject.
Opening: Your opening is strong as you take the readers straight into your subject.
Plot: Well developed. The Holocaust has caused so many heartache rain and suffering, and to so many others death.My heart aches for what they went through. I shudder at how many died.
Closing:Excellent closing..I especially like your last line.
Comments:A hard subject to write about but certainly well written. I see no errors. Good luck in the challenge.
Thank you for enering the challenge and good luck in the contest.
Your untitled poem is short and sweet. You have painted a lovly picture of dreaming about love. The moons soft light sets the scene nicely. Your ending is well done.I personally would liked to see this delightful poem s bit longer. Welcome to writing.com
Thank you for enering the challenge and good luck in the contest.
I just read your delightful short story "Employee of the month" and thought what a unique subject, having a contest for your three favorite appliances. I like the dialogue..I think it is a strong part of the story. Your ending is fitting, I must say I had a few chuckles reading this story.
I see no big errors but feel you might tighten it up by rereading it. I did really enjoy it though. Welcome to writing.com.
Thank you for enering the challenge and good luck in the contest.
Your poem "The Helper" is a delightful read and looks very nice the way you have it presented out on the page. I like the use of colors but I found reading Aqua a little harder. I like the conversation between the two people. Subject empathy is always great.
A nice job. I see no errors. Welcome to Writing.com
Hello Ms_Penguin, my name is Funnyface and I am one of the reviewers of
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Thank you for entering the challenge and good luck in the contest.
Title:"The Reluctant Vampire"
Opening:A very nice opening as you drew me right into your story.
Plot:Your plot is certainly well developed and it brought chuckles. To think of poor Reginald being a vampire that couldn't smell or stand the taste of blood. How excited he must have been when he was offered a magic cure from Gandolph.
How disappointed he must have been to have found it didn't work.
Closing:He learned a sad lesson, he should have heeded the directions. To lose his savings and his home had to be so disapointing. His new home doesn't sound to nice even for a vampire.
Comments:This is a delightful little story. I found this story is flawless.
Hi this is me Funnyface again! I so enjoyed your story "The Body". I liked how you instilled the fear that Kit felt as she didn't know if he would move if she was to close her eyes. Is he dead or alive.. I can feel how afraid kit would be with her husband's blood all over everything and him being dead. It would indeed be a scary thing.How would she get rid of the body? She found a surprising way, and you told us how nicely.
Hello duskiestar, I am Funnyface and I am dropping by to review a couple of your items. I really appreciate you reviewing an item of mine.
I just read "The Magic Crystal" and it is delightful. This ia a lovely little tale of a little boy who had a flash each time he looked at a crystal. He was taken away to different place and viewed various scenes.
I like your beginning where the parents only had time for Jinny, and you tied it in nicely in your closing where James took Jinny outside . A delightful story.
I see no errors.
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I read with intrest your story "The Invisible Line To Middle-Age" I had many smiles and laughs as I read this because I recall those days vividly. I love the part where the little boy came up and said "Hi Nana". Someday these two words will be the most precious words you will ever hear, when they come from your little grand children. A delightful write.
Thank you for entering the challenge and good luck in the contest.
What a sweet little poem "The River" is. You have done such a great job with descriptive writing. I view in my mind the fish jumping, rocks start rumbling and the grass bending. Nice job here.
Thank you for entering the challenge and good luck in the contest.
I just read your poem "Trees In Spring" It is a delightful little poem and you have done a great job composing it. The last three lines gives us a vision of nice colors and as I read the poem I can see the beauty of the trees coming to life. I see no errors.
Hello mousiebrowniecho, this is Funnyface and I am one of the reviewers for this weeks
{biten:989394}
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"Jealousy" is a nice little poem. So often one person cares for someone who thinks they are in love with someone that doesn't care. Young love is so complainated, yet so precious. I take it from this poem you might be his true love .. If so I wish you all the best and hope he will realize you care.. I see no errors.
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What a delightful read about Summertime. You have done a wonderful job showing us the various pictures of the trophies..grasshoppers, crickets and cicadas. Birds flying, laugher on the wings of the wind. I like this line..I think it is my favorite line continues to paint pictures of summertimes. A delightful read with no errors..
First I want to congratulate you for beginning to write a chapter book. SO many desire to but never start do it. I can see in your first chapter of "Shadow Walk;Chapter one" that you have put a lot of thought into it. I read it twice. You have great vivid imeragery especially as you describe the building and where the Doctors are gathered. Nice dialogue here as well.. Your story line is done nicely. I like how you used Dan Rather and John Walch, a nice touch. I feel sorry for these young ladies..even though it is fiction. Nice work.I see nothing to offer any inprovements Looking forward to the next chapter of your novel.
Your poem "A Call From Life" is very intresting. I also have heard the saying..there's nothing in this world that will forever stay. All my life I heard that we should make the most of our life for we have nothing but today...sometimes that is true.Life is just another hell...often true to the ones that are going through misery, self inflicted or other wise.Life is mere a bluff...I never heard that one before but material stuff is nothing..I am content with or without, I have lived with and without. If I knew today was my last day I would feel sad. Sad for leaving my loved ones. There is an errors
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Title: "A Moment In Time"
Opening:Your beginning is great. I like how you start back in time at four years old, and memories at that age.
Plot: The things you recall at age seven are delightful..Memories are remaining strong.
Closing:The things you recall at forty nine are memories that you will keep locked in your heart forever. Simply a lovely write and I see nothing to offer improvements here.
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