A perfect picture of you being a beautiful oak tree.. I hope you win/ or that you won on this poem. Your rhyming is perfect and I like what you would do if people would climb you. You would make a wonderful Oak tree. I love this poem, and I see nothing that you could do to improve it.
Your words about your gransparents touches my heart. There is nothing more precious than their love that will always be a memory. I like the way you broke this up in three different parts. Now that you are fourteen, the future lies ahead of you. All the best. {c: red} I seen only two typo error.Same everygthing,smae life. I look forward to reading more of your works.
As I read the words of this poem I can't help but wonder what is the cause of all this volince. People killed, homes destroyed, and fear raging in the minds of the little tads. I know every race on earth goes through some kind of volienc from another race, but I don't understand why. Your Poem makes me pray more fervently "Thy Kingdom Come"
What a gift with words and what terrible things you have endured. You must be one strong lady. These things so often happen to the good people. I believe it must be because they trust other people.Sometimes words can leaves scares that will never fade away. I hope you have found your tranquil place that you were seeking!
Your poem "Exposed" is very sad. Sad that your trust was betrayed by someone you have given trust to. So many predators do try to build friendships with the family members just to get their prey. This is a terrible crime, that I pray will cease someday soon. Your pooem touches my heart!
his is a well written poem. I really like the idea of trying to write a poem giving sujects color.. You have accomplished this here. I feel your love for this man dearly and you certainly told him it in the last verse, where you grantedhim all the time he needs to find his comfort zone. Nice rhyming. A good job I see no errors.
Twenty five years ago is a long time for keeping a poem. I feel sadness, and aloneness in this poem... To be in a cold damp room alone is sad..wishing for your special friend If not them than God..God is always with us..even when we feel He is not.A nice poem, and I see nothing to suggest improvements.
Fanastic! What a wonderful write! I love your first verse, where you showed the meaning to little things, like a hair in the ear, glasses on the face.They grey hair in the mustache and the stair getting harder to climb shows we are beginning to age. I love how you see your father as the wise man he is, noting his labor.We never notice how knowledgeable our parents are until we start to age. I am happy your Dad got to read this poem>
This poem is awesome. You really have captured what sister's or almost sisters are about. I only see one error that might improve this poem, and that is "we call {c:rose {u}eachother{/u} the underlined word should be seperated. A nice job though here.
Today is a new day..and the things that we were taught while we were in school , and what my grand children are taught are completely different..not only what they learn from text but what they learn about their out looks on life. A much needed subject. I see no errors.
Mankind sure does cause much harm to the envirament with all the throw away items we have.. We are now just starting to recycle our garbages. There are so many things not listed as to what to do with them..like glass bottles.We all should be very careful of what we litter.You are a caring person,caring for the earth where we live and make our homes.
A very emotional story. I am sorry for the loss of a brother. I can understand how protective the prents would be after loosing their son. I can feel how sad everyone in the household is and how things changed. No parent should have to lose their child..then for the death of a second child, a daughter..must have crushed them. I don't think they should have taken it out on you, yet each person grieves in their own way. I like the edit point ..it will help you in writing in English.All the best here.
A nice adventure /love story.You have used your dialogue nicely to give us information about the characters. Also your dialogue advanced the plot a bit further.I like how you told us about how Ross cared for Dana..I felt sorry for him being down on his luck. I like also how kind Steve and Ellie were extening such kindness. You have left this story so it can be added on, there are many ways you could take.it. All the best.
"Can I Love You So," is a delightful poem. No one can really know what is in the hearts of others so they might not realize the love one has for another.Favorite line is, "Each day we weave the threads of our life" Favorite verse, the last. I think love is so important and to keep it strong one needs to have laughter in their lives. This poem made me feel contented.
Good Night My Lady Bug is a sweert little poem. How delighted your little one must have been to have you home having you call her a bug."A Lady Bug". It is nice to see the interactions with her as you pick her up, give her a hug, cover her up as you tuck her in bed. The only error I found is line five where you wrote my little girls awaits, yet in the rest of the poem it is "her" in singular. I like the tenderness and fun you had with your little one
The quotes that you had the fortune to put down on paper..are in reality precious jewels each and every one of them. I was going to pick out a couple that were my favorites but how can I when each one of them are as gold. I think this item must be your very best. I hope to encase some of these jewels in my heart.
What a delightful story. When I first read the title I thought that you had an encounter with somekind of bear..how surprising to read that it was YOU that became the bear. My heart hurt as the little daughter was afraid her Daddy wouldn't be home for Halloween.What a delight when you decided to go to speak to your daughter..what a wonderful surprised to be asked to dress and act the part of the bear. An outstanding story.
Wonderful write here. I like how you tell us she urged you to make a new start, to stay on the right path,to listen and keep your heart open,she makes your dreams come true.I especially like how she tells you to keep strong, keep your faith and to do the right thing. Welcome to writing.com. If I can help you I am here,just an email away. Keep witing, your poem here is simply lovely.
Nice title and brief description. God does know our faults and our hearts.. He even knows our hidden errors. What a wonderful Creator to judge us on what He knows we are not for what others judges us. Lovely.{c:I see nothing that I can suggest to improve this poem.
Oh I remember those days, and long for them again. I had five children..the last two fourteen months a part. We lived in small crowed houses. Today my family has grown, but my house is still array..no one knows where things belong..my child now is my husband..Believe me he is worse than the five kids We had. I smile at your list. Congratulations for the new home. Nice write..It brings a smile to my face as I recall good old days. I see nothing to offer any improvement on this piece
We all do have fears and I believe the fear of dying would be up at the top of the list. I have many fears..fear of something happening to our children is up high on my list. I don't like spiders, snakes and some dogs.I agree it would be dreadful to part from those we love. This is a thought provoking poem.Made me think of my fears.A nice job here. {{c:green} I see nothing to suggest improvement in this poem.
Wow! You just described my dog, and many hundreds more. a dog is the most loyal pet we can have. My lady Genna is everything to my husband and I. With children grown she is just like one of the kids.She is great and lets us know when company comes. Thank you for this wonderful poem. {green: A perfectly written poem
Awesome. I like how you present life as a play and we as actors. You know that it is so true. Only we can learn the new script.We will write the ending to the play by how we act the part. Sometimes we fail to remember we are the actors and our roles are for everyone to view. {green: This poem can not be improved}
Hello my dear friend. I am behind in my reviewing your items. This poem, "What Might Have Been" touches my heart, as so many times there are words that should be spoken that we put off. The sad thing is sometimes we never get to say what we should have said... they are caught in the vaccum of our souls and we'll never know What Might Have Been. I see nothing that I can suggest to improve your writings.
Welcome to Writing.Com! I am sure you will love it here. If there is any thing I can do to help you, just e-mail me. I just read the poem you and your brother wrote, "Stand Down Old Man" I can't help but wonder why you would want your Grandpa to step down. If for no other reason, than for his age he deserves respect.. .Often times people fail to understand that the old are trying to prevent the young from repeating the errors they made. Your poem is well written. I see nothing I can suggest to improve this poem. Enjoy the site, and I will look forward to reading more of your works. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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