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PERSONAL VIEWS
There is such a sad tone to this piece. The hurt and pain come through well, and the fast pace and rhyme worked to add that extra punch to his poem. The sense of fear and hurried tone spoke to wanting to get away as fast as possible.
There were no spelling or grammar mistakes noticed.
Thank you for sharing your work with us, and welcome to WDC!
You did a wonderful job describing a new mother's feelings about her new baby. You capture this emotions/emotions very well. The imagery of her sitting there rocking her baby is wonderful. There was a very 'real' feeling about this poem.
TECHNICALITIES (rhyme ect..)
This poem had good flow and pacing, and I didn't notice any grammar or spelling mistakes.
I decided to review this poem because it was written differently from the others I have viewed in your port. There seems to be a slight bit more forcing of words and phrases as you try to get the lines to rhyme, which does distract a little from the imagery.
TECHNICALITIES (rhyme ect..)
In a few of the stanzas, the rhyme is off, and it does effect the ability for the reader to really appreciate the emotions behind the words.
OVERALL
I think this a very good poem that could be really great with a little tweaking of the rhymes.
Your writing is so vivid and I am amazed by the images you provoke. Each word is used to build a picture for the reader, and to take them to a specific time or place.
I think the relationship between pain and the tide worked very well here. The pain is always there, but it ebbs and flows like the tide, always coming back.
TECHNICALITIES (rhyme ect..)
Again, no real rhyme scheme or meter, but it doesn't affect the outcome of this poem. It flows well and has a smooth, natural quality.
OVERALL
A wonderful poem full of vivid description and deep emotion.
This poem seems more lyrical to me and has great descriptive value.
There were a few places where the flow didn't feel quite right. For example, in third stanza, such a lover with a sad eyes. I think eyes should be singular or the line reworded. Here's another one, Had God wept on us?…. I believe He is. Do you mean, he 'has'?
You did a great job with the form, I have done acrostics but never attempted the double. Your descriptions are done well, and the imagery easy to visualize. The flow was good, and I didn't notice and grammar or spelling mistakes.
I don't know much about poetry forms, but I found this enjoyable to read and the flow worked well. The descriptions were good and the imagery easy to imagine. There were no spelling or grammar mistakes noticed.
This is an interesting piece. You have a good message, and the tone fits it nicely. There are a few grammar mistakes where you have missed an apostrophe to denote posession. It's more of just a statement of fact, but it does come together well and the point in made in the end.
This is a very descriptive poem that sets a wonderful scene for the reader. The imagery is wonderful, and even though I don't know a lot about styles of poetry, it had a great flow and the rhyme scheme worked well. There were no grammar or spelling mistakes noticed.
This is an interesting monologue that takes on on a trip through finding love and losing it. It reads of loss and longing, but the ending shows that there is still hope out there and not to dwell of what might have been, but will be. It was well written and flowed smoothly. There were no grammar or spelling mistakes noticed.
This was a different little comical piece comparing both Survivor and Gilliban's Island. You make some very valid points and it was a fun and interesting read. It had a great tone and the pace was quick. There were no spelling or grammar mistakes noticed.
You did a great job with this story! It was funny and nicely paced and followed the prompt well. I have tried this contest, and I know how hard it can be to interject the titles in seemlessly, and you did it.
The characters are realistic and funny and the descriptions provided good imagery.
I didn't find and grammar our spelling mistakes, and I enjoyed reading this.
This is an interesting and very visual poem. You idd a great job with the word choice and description, bring the reader into the moment. You describe a certain time of day that holds mystery and mistique. The tone is dark and they rhyme scheme works well.
What a tragic poem. It brought tears to my eyes as I read it. Such a horrible event that I couldn't image happening to anyone I love. The poem has a wonderful flow and the tone that was set was one of despair and regret. There were no spelling or grammar mistakes noticed.
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PERSONAL VIEWS
While I think this could be very good, there are a few things that make it hard to understand. The first thing, is the punctuation and the not capitalizing the first word in the sentences. Also, I noticed that are a few words that seem to be missing in the first stanza, and the period after Deserted doesn't make much sense to me.
OVERALL
It seems like you are going for an abstract feel here, but I think you went a little too abstract.
Thank you for sharing your work with us, and welcome to WDC!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP LEADER
PERSONAL VIEWS
This was a cute little story that caught my attention and I enjoyed reading. The coversational tone of it set the pace well and it flowed smoothly. The math is something else, though.
TECHNICALITIES
There were quite a few punctuation mistakes, but nothing a quick edit can't fix.
OVERALL
An interesting, entertaining story.
Thank you for sharing your work with us, and welcome to WDC!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP LEADER
THE OPENING
The writing for this contest entry was crisp and clear, and you did a great job of bringing the reader into this short piece. The tone worked very well, and you descriptions set a wonderful winter scene for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Very true to life and likable characters. You did a great job of making them come to life in this short piece.
SETTING
The setting was well done and made a part of the story instead of being discription.
DIALOGUE
There was only a little dialogue, but what was here flowed well and felt natural.
GRAMMAR/SPELLING
There were no grammar or spelling mistakes noticed.
THE ENDING
The ending fit well, it summed up the story nicely.
OVERALL
A nice, enjoyable read.
Thank you for sharing your work with us, and welcome to WDC!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP LEADER
PERSONAL VIEWS
This is such a sad and heartbreaking poem. The lost of a child is one of the worst pain a parent can feel.
TECHNICALITIES (rhyme ect..)
For the most part the poem flows well, the only problem I had was in the next to the last stanza. You use the words taken away twice. I might suggest replacing one of them with something else.
OVERALL
A beautiful, sad poem full of emotion.
Thank you for sharing your work with us, and welcome to WDC!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP LEADER
PERSONAL VIEWS
I found this poem making me think about how we must learn from our mistakes and that is the difference we can make in this world. We may have blunder, and sometimes sorry isn't enough, but if we learn and grow, that's all we can ask.
TECHNICALITIES (rhyme ect..)
This poem flowed well and the meaning came through very nicely.
OVERALL
A wonderful, though provoking poem.
Thank you for sharing your work with us, and welcome to WDC!
The opening lines work well, giving the reader the family dynamics right up front and sets the tone for the rest of the story.
CHARACTERS
You did a great job with these characters. They are very real feeling and come across as actual people.
SETTING
I think you described Danni's bedroom well, but I would have like a little more about David's room so I would know what, indeed, was so great about it. Was it just the size?
DIALOGUE
The dialogue felt very natural and read as family banter. Well done.
GRAMMAR/SPELLING
There were no grammar or spelling mistakes noticed.
THE ENDING
The ending pulled everything together nicely, and I really enjoyed the last line.
OVERALL
A very good story about finding the unexpected and being happy with what you have.
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