This is a very catchy poem that for the most part flows very naturally. Your word choice made this a fun, easy read, and the pattern worked very well. There were only a few places, like the second stanza where the rhyme felt a little forced. It is a perfect poem for this time of year. There were no spelling or grammar mistakes noticed.
There is an amazing story told in this poem. So dark and chilling, perfect for this time of year. The pattern of the rhymes worked very well, leting the poem flow natually. There were no spelling or grammar mistakes noticed. I really enjoyed reading this.
A review for the story you entered in "Invalid Item"
First Impression:
A very original story, and the plot was very original. I love the picture you privided, but I think your descriptions were enough for the reader. The imagery was very vivid.
My Suggestions:
I have no suggestions for this story.
Grammar/Spelling:
There were no grammar or spelling mistakes noticed.
Characters:
Very interesting and well thought out. They are very 'real' feeling, and original.
Dialogue:
The dialogue was very natural, and it moved the story along nicely.
Overall Impression:
A very good story. Good luck in the contest.
I don't think I would have stopped either! This story was very good, and I like how you started it, adding to the suspense. You did a wonderful job with the prompt and writing a good story in such few words. There were not spelling or grammar mistakes noticed.
This one made me smile! I think you did a great job with following the prompt, and I really enjoyed the silliness of the piece. It is definitely an original original story, and the tone fit it very well. The last line was great. There were no spelling or grammar mistakes noticed.
This is a very interesting article on the origins of Halloween. I found it very informative, and it was easy and compelling to read. The format worked well, and the content a joy to read. There were no spelling or grammar mistakes noticed.
This is nice and creepy, perfect for the season! The imagery was fantastic, and the details were great. The rhythm kept the poem flowing along nicely. There were no spelling or grammar mistakes noticed.
Favorite Line(s): Don't enter to taste the simmering brew.
It will mean the end of you.
A very nice, creepy little poem! The rhythm and rhyme were done well, letting the piece flow natually. The descriptions were great, giving the reader great imagery of the scene. There were no spelling or grammar mistakes noticed. Well done.
Favorite line(s}: The howling winds fade away,
Death and dust and deep decay -
I think your word choice was very good. You gave the reader a sense of urgency as they are reading through it. I think your meter is a little off, some of the lines just don't flow as well as other. The descriptions were very good, and I think your tone worked very well. There were no grammar or spelling mistakes noticed.
I think you paint a very vivid picture with this story. It's orginal and funny, and the character is fabulous. You make him real and likable, and I think most can relate. I do think it is a little short, maybe think about expanding? There were no spelling or grammar mistakes noticed.
This is a great poem. I love the imagery you conjure, and the ending on an sweet note was perfect. The rhythm and meter were a little off in places, but nothing reading it out loud couldn't fix. There were no grammar or spelling mistakes noticed.
I really like this poem! The message is great, and it made me smile all the way through it. The rhythm and meter were wonderful, the words dance off the tongue. A great way to use the prompt. There were no spelling or grammar mistakes noticed.
This is a very interesting story. I enjoyed the imagery you conjured up for the reader, very vivid. You took the reader to this place and let them see what was going on. Well done.
Your main character is intriguing, though I didn't feel I 'knew' him. You give a great amount of detail, and I think with a higher word count (which I know was limited within this contest) the reader would come to care for him more.
The plot is very good. I enjoyed your take on it, and the fact there was really only one character in this story worked very well. The format was also very original for this type of story. Well done.
There were no spelling or grammar mistakes noticed.
Overall, I think this is a very good story. I enjoyed it very much. Thank you for entering the contest and I hope to see your work in future rounds. Winners will be announced later today.
A very beautifully written poem. The descriptions and imagery are very vivid. The ryhme and meter and perfect. There were no spelling or grammar mistakes noticed.
You packed a lot of story in such few words. You did a great character analysis, making the reader actually care what was happening to her. The descriptions are very vivid, producing great imagery. The 'tail' at the end of the story was perfect. There were no spelling or grammar mistakes noticed.
This is a great poem, and a wonderful way to follow the prompt. Your rhythm and rhyme sceme worked very well, and the poem flowed effortlessly. I really enjoyed reading this. There were no spelling or grammar mistakes noticed.
A very well told story. The flows in great and I felt pulled through to the end. The word choices work to make this a very chilling little tale. The last two lines pulled the whole thing together nicely. There were no spelling or grammar mistakes noticed.
Favorite line(s): I didn’t care nor think the thoughts that might have saved my fate -
For whiskey dulls the human mind - it fuels what doth await…
I like how you change the tone for dark to light and then back to dark. It works very well, bringing the different aspect of the night together in a single poem. The flow was good, and the 'story' behind it interesting. There were no grammar or spelling mistakes noticed.
Favorite line(s): Dark as the pit from which the demons crawl,
oozing with slime and hideous inhuman call,
This story gave me chills. The descriptions are wonderful, and the characters are well developed for such a short piece. The tone fit it well, and you had my attention from the beginning. The ending was perfect, nice and creepy. There were no spelling or grammar mistakes noticed.
I really liked the originality you put into this, and the whole 'revenge is a dish best served cold' works very well with the refridgeration! The dialogue was well done, very natural and flowed well. The characters were very intersting, and you managed to convey their emotions nicely. There were no grammar or spelling mistakes noticed.
I like how you added the 'typical marital arguement' to this. It worked very well. The characters are distinctive and very likable. The dialogue was natural and flowed very well. Though I wonder a little about the ending on how she would actually stop him. There were no grammar or spelling errors noticed.
I don't know if I should have, but I took this as a comedy piece and I enjoyed reading it. The dialogue flowed very well, and there seemed to be a hint of sarcasm behind it. I think you did a great job of seperating the characters, and pulling the reader along. There were no grammar or spelling mistakes noticed.
A very interesting piece that kept my attention. The descriptions and imagery you conjure for the reader is wonderful. You managed to pack a great deal in so few words. There were no grammar or spelling mistakes noticed.
Thank you for sharing.
Vikki
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First Impression: