FIRST IMPRESSIONS:

My first impression is that this is not a complete story. It's just an emotion-filled scene about a choice that could have a great impact on a lot of people. With that said, if this was part of a larger story, I think it would do good at capturing the essence.

IMAGERY:

Not a lot of imagery, but the limited description works well here to set the scene.

TECHNICALITIES:

There were a few typos and punctuation errors, but I think they'll be easily found with a quick edit. The scene flowed well and was easy to read.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:

Overall, this is a good scene. I know this isn't finished, and I think you should add more to it.

Thank you for sharing your work and welcome to WDC!

~ Vikki ~

FIRST IMPRESSIONS:

A poem about how sometimes things remain at arms length until we choose to change our own direction and move them closer.

IMAGERY:

I think you did a good job with the imagery. You descriptions paint a decent picture for the reader.

TECHNICALITIES:

I think if you separated this into stanzas and used some punctuation, the poem would have a greater impact on the reader. Without the natural pauses, the flow seems a little stiff to me.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:

Overall, I enjoyed your poem and the metaphor of the train.

Thank you for sharing your work and welcome to WDC!

~ Vikki ~

Hi ԜԜ On The Road Again! ! I am here to give you my thoughts on "The Bogeyman's Here!" .

This is review 2 of 2 from the Holiday Package from Just Because I Want To.This review comes with the message: "Merry Christmas from your Circle of Sister's Santa!"

Hi ԜԜ On The Road Again! ! I am here to give you my thoughts on "~The Last Full Moon~" .

This is review 1 of 2 from the Holiday Package from Just Because I Want To.This review comes with the message: "Merry Christmas from your Circle of Sister's Santa!"

Hi Happy Spring ! I am here to give you my thoughts on ""Best Made Plans" Winning Entry!!" .

This is review 2 of 2 from the Holiday Package gifted to you by ~A.J. Lyle~ from Just Because I Want To.

Hi Happy Spring ! I am here to give you my thoughts on "Amanda's Magnificent Obsession" .

This is review 1 of 2 from the Holiday Package gifted to you by ~A.J. Lyle~ from Just Because I Want To.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS:

This is a very inspirational story. You highlight the fact that there is kindness in the world and God will provide. Your story was really touching and was full of emotion.

IMAGERY:

There wasn't a lot of physical description, but the emotions comes through every word. I could feel the desperation and the hope.

TECHNICALITIES:

The only thing I noticed is a change in tense in the beginning. Other than that, there were no technical errors to note.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:

A very heartfelt, touching story with a great message. Sometimes we forgot what the holidays are really all about.

Thank you for sharing your work and welcome to WDC!

~ Vikki ~

Hi Mara ♣ McBain ! I am here to give you my thoughts on "Dear Slacker...err...Me," .

This is review 2 of 2 from the Gifts Galore Package gifted to you by your Secret Santa!

Hi Mara ♣ McBain ! I am here to give you my thoughts on "Snow Angels" .

This is review 1 of 2 from the Gifts Galore Package gifted to you by your Secret Santa!

Hi Annie ! I am here to give you my thoughts on "Visiting Santa at the Mall" .

This is review 1 of 2 from the Loyalty Package gifted to you by emerin-liseli from Just Because I Want To.

Hi fyn ! I am here to give you my thoughts on "Blue Roses" .

This is review 2 of 2 from the A Little Something Package gifted to you by your Secret Santa.

Merry Christmas!!!

Hi fyn ! I am here to give you my thoughts on "Winter Touches" .

This is review 1 of 2 from the A Little Something Package gifted to you by your Secret Santa.

Merry Christmas!!

Hi Jeff ! I am here to give you my thoughts on "Sin City" .

This is review 2 of 2 from the Appreciation Package gifted to you by your Secret Santa.

Merry Christmas!

Hi Jeff ! I am here to give you my thoughts on "T.M.I. (Too Much Information)" .

This is review 1 of 2 from the Appreciation Package Package gifted to you by your Secret Santa.

Merry Christmas!!

FIRST IMPRESSIONS:

I hate words counts . I know this was for a contest, but I really would have liked more to the story. It's complete as it is, but a little more detail here and there and smoother transitions would really make this story.

IMAGERY:

The imagery here is very good for it being a short piece of flash fiction. You descriptions were just enough to give a small picture for the reader.

TECHNICALITIES:

There were no technical errors to note. The format was simple and easy to read.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:

This is a very good story for the limited number of words. It's hard to do short flash, but I think you managed it well. The ending put a smile on my face. I'm glad it turned out as it did. There isn't often 'happy' endings.

Thank you for sharing your work.

~ Vikki ~

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

When I first read this through, I didn't realize it was an excerpt until I got to the bottom. It through me off a bit since it does read like a full story.

I found this to be very heartwarming and perfect for the holiday season! The interaction between the children felt real and the dialogue seemed natural and not forced.

IMAGERY:

I really enjoyed the imagery here. Your descriptions of the children and the weather, along with the old man, were very vivid and lively.

TECHNICALITIES:

I found no technical errors to note. The only one, tiny little suggestion I would have is to not use so many dialogue tags. In the beginning, the reader knows who the two children are, you should need to tell us who is speaking after the first time. This would smooth out the flow a bit and not take the reader out of the story.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:

Overall, this is a very well-written, sweet story and I do look forward to getting the complete novel.

Thank you for sharing your work.

~Vikki~

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

FIRST IMPRESSIONS:

Even though this poem is short, it carries a lot of impact. You describe something that happens everyday, but with a peacefulness that so few can bring to their poetry.

IMAGERY:

I found the imagery to be beautiful. What an amazing thing for the world to be renewed.

TECHNICALITIES:

I found no technical errors to note.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:

Overall, this poem is short, simple, but very effective.

Thank you for sharing your work.

~ Vikki ~

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

After I finished reading this, the first thing that came to my mind was regret. We all wish we could have done thing different, but as your poem clearly states, there is hope in the future. Hope that we can find that perfect happiness we all so desperately seek.

IMAGERY:

The emotion of this poem was the imagery for me. You can feel every word, especially when you talk about your children.

TECHNICALITIES:

There was no set form or rhyme scheme, but the poem told a wonderful story and I found no technical errors to note.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:

A beautiful poem about where we are, where we were, and where we are going. Well done.

Thank you for sharing your work.

~Vikki~

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

FIRST IMPRESSIONS:

I truly loved this poem. I enjoyed the story it told and that it wasn't the typical ghost story. The ending was priceless.

IMAGERY:

Your imagery was beautiful. Each description gave the reader a full and vivid picture of what you were saying.

TECHNICALITIES:

There were no technical errors to note. The rhyme scheme was very done well and the flow was consistent and smooth.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this poem. It made me smile and that's all I can ask. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Thank you for sharing your work.

~ Vikki ~