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 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 14:22 Write about my ideal weekend? I don't know what my ideal weekend is. On the one hand, I'd like to be able to stay home without any commitments to other people - like having family or friends come over - so that I can get things done. On the other hand, I never get anything done anyway and I rarely see friends and family so I should stop being anti-social and mingle with people a few times a week. On an ideal weekend, I should get some shopping done (always a challenge!), visit family and not spend hours and hours there, do some writing and some crafty stuff, and sleep well. That never happens! I haven't written anything decent in like a week - or over a week even. I think I should bin my phone as well - it's probably the number one cause of why I never get anything of import done. YouTube is annoying but addictive. Nobody ever contacts me so why the hell do I even have a phone? Why is it so damn necessary to carry a piece of technology with you which fails to enhance your life in any meaningful way? WhatsApp is not meaningful. Neither are Facebook and Twitter. I guess you could say that there are loads of things that become easier with a phone in your pocket, but that's only because you then have an Internet connection in the palm of your hand, right? You have an Internet connection on the computer too and I assume most people have one at home. Even accessing it a few times a day to deal with your stuff should be enough. Somehow an exploration of my ideal weekend has turned into a rant about phones. Of course, these are just my own opinions. I know there are people out there who feel that they couldn't live without a phone. A lot of the times, I rely on my phone too much to pass the time...which is usually why I never get anything done, because I spend way above the time that I initially intended to spend on videos and stuff. Technology makes us hopeless :( 14:37 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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