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Rated: 13+ · Book · Personal · #2186370
Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool!
A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes.

I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore!

I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children.

I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be.

I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone.
May 30, 2019 at 6:06am
May 30, 2019 at 6:06am
#959870
10:55

Woo-hoo! The month is nearly over! It's gone by so quickly and now I have so many more entries in my blog! I will try to keep up my ten minutes of writing a day but I don't think I would have come this far with it if it hadn't been for this challenge.

My favourite prompt was probably the one where I had to explore something about which my opinion had slowly changed over time. I had a bit of in-depth self-reflection there and got some good stuff, I think.

The most rewarding aspect of this challenge has been to continue it every day and maybe make some new discoveries about myself. Not many of those, but I think I've had a couple :)

Okay, five minutes done (with some dithering thrown in for good measure) and I'm not sure what to write about. My back hurts? That's old news. I'm tired? Meh, also old news. I'm writing! Yes, I'm writing every day! It is a stupid fanfiction that I'm writing, true, and it's also plotless drivel, true, and a romance (which is not something I excel in), true, but I'm writing! I'm trying to come up with a plot as I write but it's rubbish. But I'm rolling with it. I now feel inadequate about writing without thinking up some sort of plot...although, clearly, this hasn't stopped me. I'll keep working on it.

Nine minutes! Come on, clock! Change! I demand you change! Come oooooooooooooooooooon! *Cry*

YAY! 11:05!

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