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Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
08:22 The short answer? No. The long answer? We can try. I suppose for people who mete out justice, objectivity is a necessity. They have to learn it. It's required of them. But in everyday life, I don't think even they are completely unbiased. I think it would take some kind of superhuman to be unbiased in every situation. In everyday life, it's often the case that we only hear one side of a story, right? We either don't get to hear the other side or forget that there is another side altogether. Generally, I'm talking about incidents that have happened between friends/family members and some unknown people. Example: Friend: "The bastard cut me off, didn't see him coming out at all! Nearly hit him!" Me: "What a douchebag! There are some really stupid people on the road!" Meanwhile, the "douchebag" in question could be relaying something similar to his friend: Douchebag: I thought the bitch was miles away so I pulled out! Next thing I know, she's right behind me and honking like mad! Douchebag's friend: Must have been an idiot. There are lots of those around. There you have it. I have lots of biases. When I'm talking to people, a lot of the time I tend to just blindly agree with what they're saying because I either don't have the courage to voice what I really want to say, or I'm not very interested in the conversation. I'm trying to change but it's difficult. I do have lots of topics that I'm passionate about so I will voice my opinions if I disagree strongly enough. Also, religion plays a big part here for me too. I don't like listening to people gossiping. In Islam, it's actually a sin to speak ill of people when they aren't there (it's also a sin to speak ill of people when they're there but I think it might be a bigger sin to do so behind someone's back) so I try not to indulge people when they do so. But, as mentioned previously, a lot of the time I just go along with what they're saying if it's a personal issue and they want to vent. I never consider in those moments that the party being talked about might have their own version of events. This has been educational! 08:41 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |