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 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 14:41 I am tired, as always. Why am I tired? I dunno. Might have something to do with this game my friend's son told me about last night called Akinator. It's not a particularly challenging game - you don't do a whole lot. You think of a character and answer "yes" or "no" to the questions the "genie" comes up with and, eventually, he'll guess who your character is. I tried obscure characters, like one main dude from the Kdrama I'm currently watching, and non-mainstream novel characters, like Kaladin Stormblessed from Brandon Sanderson's the Stormlight Archive. He got them all! The only ones where there were some hiccups were the ones I wasn't too sure of myself, from books I read quite a while back and forgot the smaller details. I was playing it till about 01:30-01:45. See, I beat my Netflix addiction and another just comes strolling along! Onto the challenge then! It's a bit tricky - I haven't the memory previous generations had in regards to our family history. My dad could probably tell me loads but I've never sat with him to talk about it because I know I'll get a lecture alongside it! Something like..."You should know all this!" or "This our family history! It's important!" or "You kids just carry on watching the TV and sticking your noses in your phones and forget everything else" (accompanied by a disappointed shake of the head). My family comes from Pakistan and we moved to England when I was six. Most of my family is here in the UK but we have some relatives back in PK. That's about all I can say on that, I'm afraid. Not the best subject for me, though I've managed to get my ten minutes...by taking a few short breaks and messing about with Dean, my kitten, no doubt. But my breaks didn't last that long. I'm sure I managed ten minutes of writing easily. It has now been twenty minutes! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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