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 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 09:48 I'm afraid I won't be home for a good portion of my day so I thought I'd get this over and done with while I'm free. My day has barely begun and I'm already tired. Nothing new there! Of course, my son wakes up SUPER early when there's no need. Monday through Wednesday, he slept in and we got late taking him to childminder's, but the one day where I was really looking forward to catching up on my sleep, I'm roused at half six in the morning because his highness needs a nappy change since he's done a poo. Couldn't he have sat in it for a couple hours? It's not like it's going anywhere, right? I want to sleep! T_T Onto the challenge then! So, describe a meaningful object, eh? Nothing in my line of sight is particularly inspiring or has any particular significance attached to it. I guess there's my sewing machine, which I got some years ago at the charity shop I volunteered at for a few months. They don't sell electric things so they were going to throw it out. I said I wanted it and they gave it to me for 50p! It's ace. I don't know much about sewing machines but I like the idea of making my own clothes and experimenting with things. I'm sure I've wrecked the thing a little bit, since the stitches don't come out very smoothly, but I still use it. I've made many outfits with it, most of them absolute garbage. A few I have worn and still wear. The last one I made was a lilac and white dress with a full length chiffon jacket to go with it. I absolutely will not wear it in public if I can help it, since it's not terribly well made. But I love my sewing machine. I acquired it all by myself and I sew things with it all by myself. Like all the crafts I like to dabble in, it's something that is special to me. I like making things, from clothes to stories to decorative canvases you can hang on your wall (if you think they're good enough to, of course). I love being a creative person. I just wish I could allocate more time to these crafts. That's 17 minutes! Woo-hoo! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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