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 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 09:13 The prompt today asks how I honour those who have passed away. Islamically, you can send prayers for the deceased if they were Muslim and ask that their sins be forgiven and they be granted paradise. Culturally, we hold massive family get-togethers on the anniversary of the death of a loved one and offer prayers and have a meal as an extended family. The two are not to be confused, since cultural norms tend to rise even from a religion that prohibits making up new norms in the name of the religion. In religion, we human beings are as split as we are in anything. Even more so, perhaps, which is a pity. ...I've run out of things to say! If I'm honest, I always get a bit nervous when talking about religion. I'm no scholar so I could be wrong and I don't want to be wrong because so many people already have a negative view of Islam. I don't want to add to it in any way. My religion is one of peace and kindness and I want to promote that because those are the aspects of it that appeal most to me. I had to go to my son so I took a little break but I think I can safely say I did ten minutes...maybe. I was hesitating a lot  09:28 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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