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Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
19:27 The challenge prompt for today is "what kind of learning style do I have?" I'm not sure, to be honest. I guess I learn a lot through discussion and images. Mostly, though, if someone shows me a couple times how to do something, that's the best way for me to learn. The last assignment I handed in for counselling was absolute crap because it was something new to me and the teacher couldn't let the class have a look at past examples of it because ours is the first class in that subject at that level of qualification to be taught at that college. So it was all a bit hit-and-miss. I definitely missed, I can tell you that. It was like being thrown in at the deep end. Saying that, the things I enjoy are the things I learn about as I go along. I don't like those things to be spoon-fed to me by someone else because I want to explore the limits for myself. I'm sure you can guess that this is the creative stuff. I don't do well when someone tries to teach me writing, because it feels forced. Not to say I've never taken advice to heart - I love advice! There's just precious little of it given to me in regards to my craft that I'll soak it in and try my best to apply it. I attended lots of writing workshops when I was a teen and in my very early twenties but I don't remember taking much from them. It's the one-to-one tutorials, where someone is earnest about your work and wants you to improve, that really helped. I don't get any of those anymore either. 19:37 And that's a wrap! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |