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 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 22:36 I'm a bit confounded by this prompt. I have to come up with four prompt ideas and then choose one of them to write my entry around. So my prompt ideas are... 1. Explore dependence (on anyone/anything, about how/why/etc.) 2. What is resilience and what does it look like for you? 3. Our judgement can cloud our views and stands in the way of seeing the truth. But are there times when casting our judgement is beneficial in any way? 4. If you could learn another language, which one would it be and why? I'll go with the last one, because if I start digging for the others, I might be here for hours and nobody's going to read a blog entry that takes hours to get through. I'm learning four languages right now (I'm not yet proficient in any of them and if I continue at the rate I'm going, I never will be). I'm learning Japanese, Korean, Mandarin, and Italian. The last of these is not like the others, you say? You would be right. I'm only learning Italian because I got a distance-learning course for it like ten years ago and I never finished it but I still have all my material so I wanted to get back to it. I started learning Italian back then because my favourite anime at the time, Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, was about a mafia family and it was so quirky and fun that I love it to this day (though I probably wouldn't call it my favourite since I don't think I have a favourite anymore) and the characters are still fresh in my mind. But I do like Italian. It isn't very hard since it has a lot of similarities with English and I find it pleasant to speak and listen to. I'm sure I've talked about my half-assed language learning before so I won't go into detail about the individual whys and hows of the others but I would like to mention that languages fascinate me. It's amazing how there are so many differences between every race/ethnicity's way of thinking but it's also incredible that, despite these differences, we still have so many similarities. For example, in English we have the old saying "kill two birds with one stone" and, in my mother tongue (which is a dialect of the Mirpur region of Pakistan) I've heard my dad similarly say "ek tir dou nishaniyan" (literally "one arrow two targets"). I haven't studied languages in any depth, though I want to. I blew my chance when I was in college - I believe I got an E in my overall English Language A Level. Miserable. But oh well. I didn't have much of a desire to learn back then. I do now. Somewhat. Maybe that's what I can look into studying once I've finished my counselling course. 23:01 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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